All language subtitles for Simpsons - 1x01 - Simpsons Roasting Over An Open Fire

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian Download
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani Download
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech Download
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian Download
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil) Download
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,591 --> 00:00:10,468 Ooh! Careful, Homer! 2 00:00:10,593 --> 00:00:12,971 There's no time. We're late. 3 00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:17,684 O little town of Bethlehem 4 00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:18,977 O little town of Bethlehem 5 00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:23,773 How still we see the elie 6 00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:26,568 -Excuse me. Pardon me. 7 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,570 - Sorry. Excuse me. - Hey, Norman, how's it goin'? 8 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,572 So you got dragged down here too, huh? 9 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,574 - How you doin', Fred? - Sorry. Excuse me. 10 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,576 - Yeah. 'Scuse me. Oh! 11 00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:37,871 Pardon my galoshes. 12 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:42,459 Are met in thee tonight 13 00:00:44,669 --> 00:00:47,088 Wasn't that wonderful? 14 00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:51,259 And now "Santas of many lands," 15 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:54,888 as presented by the entire second grade class. 16 00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:57,474 Oh! Lisa's class. 17 00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:59,893 Frohliche Weihnachten. 18 00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:02,479 That's German for " Merry Christmas." 19 00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:07,984 In Germany, Santa's servant Ruprecht gives presents to good children... 20 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:11,279 and whipping rods to the parents of bad ones. 21 00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:16,576 Merry Kurisumasu. 22 00:01:16,659 --> 00:01:21,998 I am Hotseiosha, a japanese priest who acts like Santa Claus. 23 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,584 I have eyes in the back ofmy head... 24 00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:27,962 so children better behave when I'm nearby. 25 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:33,259 Now presenting Lisa Simpson... 26 00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:38,682 as Tawanga, the Santa Claus of the South Seas. 27 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,684 Ooh, it's Lisa! That's ours. 28 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:58,993 Ah, the fourth grade will now favor us with a melody-- 29 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:02,664 Uh, medley of holiday "flavorites." 30 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:05,291 Dashing through the snow 31 00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,794 In a one-horse open sleigh 32 00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:09,796 O'er the fields we go 33 00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:11,965 Laughing all the way Ha ha ha 34 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,175 Bells on bobtail ring 35 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:17,470 - Isn't Bart sweet, Homer? 36 00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:20,765 He sings like an angel. 37 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:24,269 Oh, jingle bells Batman smells 38 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:26,271 Robin laid an egg 39 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,481 The Batmobile broke its wheel 40 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,775 The joker got awa-- 41 00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:32,986 Jingle bells Jingle bells 42 00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:34,988 Jingle all 43 00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:37,282 The fifth grade will now favour us... 44 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:42,370 with a scene from Charles, uh, Dickens' A Christmas Carol. 45 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:47,000 How many grades does this school have? 46 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:50,670 " Dear friends of the Simpson family, 47 00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:53,965 "We had some sadness and some gladness this year. 48 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,468 " First, the sadness. Our little cat Snowball... 49 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:59,679 "was unexpectedly run over and went to kitty heaven. 50 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:02,390 "But we bought a new little cat, Snowball I. 51 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:05,185 "So I guess life goes on. 52 00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:09,981 "Speaking of life going on, Grandpa's still with us, feisty as ever. 53 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,983 " Maggie is walking by herself, 54 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:15,695 "Lisa got straight A's, and Bart-- 55 00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:18,198 "Well, we love Bart. 56 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:21,201 "The magic of the season has touched us all. 57 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:23,495 Marge, haven't you finished that stupid letter yet? 58 00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:26,790 - " Homer sends his love. Happy holidays. - Marge! 59 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,167 - The Simpsons." - Marge, where's the extension cord? 60 00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:32,087 For heaven's sake, Homer. It's in the utility drawer. 61 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,589 Sorry. I'm just a big kid. 62 00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:36,966 And I love Christmas so much. 63 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:41,096 D'oh! 64 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,264 All right, children, let me have those letters. 65 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:46,184 I'll send them to Santa's workshop at the North Pole. 66 00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,269 Oh, please. There's only one fat guy that brings us presents, 67 00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:50,271 and his name ain't Santa. 68 00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:53,566 Uh-- A pony? 69 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:57,278 Oh, Lisa, you've asked for that for the last three years, 70 00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:00,865 and I keep telling you Santa can't fit a pony into his sleigh. 71 00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:02,867 Can't you take a hint? 72 00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,869 But I really want a pony, 73 00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:08,164 - and I've been really good this year. - Oh, dear. 74 00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:11,001 Maybe Bart is a little more realistic. 75 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,961 - A tattoo? - A what? 76 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,380 Yeah! They're cool, and they last the rest of your life. 77 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:18,174 you will not be getting a tattoo for Christmas. 78 00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:21,469 Yeah. If you want one, you'll have to pay for it out of your allowance. 79 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:22,971 - All right! - Homer! 80 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:24,973 - "Yello." 81 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,975 - Marge, please. - Who's this? 82 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,977 May I please speak to Marge? 83 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,896 - This is her sister, isn't it? - Is Marge there? 84 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:35,400 - Who shall I say is calling? - Marge, please. 85 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,695 It's your sister. Oh! 86 00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:41,281 - Hello. - Hello, Marge. It's Patty. 87 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:45,869 Selma and I couldn't be more excited about seeing our sister Christmas Eve. 88 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:49,998 Well, Homer and I are looking forward to your visit too. 89 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,461 Somehow I doubt that Homer is excited. 90 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,463 of all the men you could've married, 91 00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:59,466 I don't know why you picked one who's always so rude to us. 92 00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,885 - Good one, Dad. 93 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,679 Okay, kids, prepare to be dazzled. 94 00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:07,474 Marge, turn on the juice! 95 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,395 - What do you think, kids? 96 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,397 - Nice try, Dad. 97 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,691 Just hold your horses, son. Hey, Simpson! 98 00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:20,570 - What is it, Flanders? - Do you think this looks okay? 99 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:24,366 Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho. 100 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,867 - Oh! - Oh, neato! 101 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,370 It's too bright. 102 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,789 I oughta-- Flanders. What a big show-off. 103 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,378 - Kids, wanna go Christmas shopping? - I do! 104 00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,963 - All right! The mall! - Go get your money. 105 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:42,300 Tell us, Marge. Where have you been hiding the Christmas money? 106 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:45,095 Oh, I have my secrets. 107 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,180 Turn around. 108 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:53,770 - you can look now. - Ooh! Big jar this year. 109 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,375 Oh, Bart, that's so sweet. 110 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,877 It's the best present a mother could get, 111 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:20,463 and it makes you look so dangerous. 112 00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:25,301 - One " Mother," please. 113 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,262 Wait a minute. How old are you? 114 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,389 - Twenty-one, sir. - Get in the chair. 115 00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,564 Mm-hmm. 116 00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:40,567 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 117 00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:43,570 - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 118 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:46,281 Attention, all personnel, please keep working... 119 00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:48,283 during the following announcement. 120 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:51,870 And now our boss and friend Mr. Burns. 121 00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:54,289 Hello. I'm proud to announce... 122 00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:57,292 that we've been able to increase safety here at the plant... 123 00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,586 without increasing the cost to the consumer... 124 00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:01,880 or affecting management payraises. 125 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,966 However, for you semiskilled workers, 126 00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,968 there will be no Christmas bonuses. 127 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:10,597 - Oh, and one more thing. 128 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,599 Merry Christmas! 129 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:16,186 - Oh, thank God for the big jar. 130 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,483 - Where's that Bart? 131 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:31,576 But, Mom, I thought you'd like it. 132 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:36,164 Yes, Mrs. Simpson, we can remove your son's tattoo. 133 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,667 It's a simple routine involving lasers. 134 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,086 - Cool! - However, it is rather expensive, 135 00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:43,880 and we must insist on a cash payment up front. 136 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,091 - Cash? - Mm-hmm. 137 00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:49,094 Thank God for Homer's Christmas bonus. 138 00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:54,474 - Ay, caramba! - Now, whatever you do, don't squirm. 139 00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:58,603 you don't wanna get this sucker near your eye or your groin. 140 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:04,275 - Ow! Quit it. 141 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,277 Ow! Quit it. 142 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,279 Ow! Quit it. 143 00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,782 - Ow! Quit it. - Hey, what's with this? 144 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:14,577 Ow! Quit it! Used to be a real boss tattoo. 145 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:17,997 Mom had to spend the Christmas money having it surgically removed. 146 00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:20,792 Huh? 147 00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:24,879 It's true! 148 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:28,675 The jar is empty! Oh, my God! 149 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,094 We're ruined. Christmas is canceled. 150 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,263 No presents for anyone! 151 00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:37,100 Don't worry, Homer. We'll just have to stretch your Christmas bonus... 152 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,477 - even further this year. 153 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,689 - Homer? - Oh, yeah. My Christmas bonus. 154 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,483 How silly of me. 155 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:48,570 This'll be the best Christmas yet. 156 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,572 The best any family ever had. 157 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,286 Hohoho. 158 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,497 Hohoho. 159 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:03,293 Hohoho. 160 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:07,797 Ho ho ho. 161 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,799 Hohoho. 162 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:16,097 Hmm. I get the feeling there's something you haven't told me, Homer. 163 00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:19,893 - Huh? Oh. I love you, Marge. - you tell me that all the time. 164 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,103 Oh, good, because I do love you. 165 00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:25,273 I don't deserve you as much as a guy with a fat wallet... 166 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,193 and a credit card that won't set off that horrible beeping. 167 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:31,488 I think it does have something to do with your Christmas bonus. 168 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,490 I keep asking for it, but-- 169 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:37,077 Marge, um, let me be honest with you. 170 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:41,373 - Yes? - Well, I would-- 171 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,796 I-- I wanna do the Christmas shopping this year. 172 00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:50,465 Uh, sure, okay. 173 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:57,597 Marge, Marge. Hmm. Let'ssee. 174 00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:59,891 Ooh, look! 175 00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:03,395 Pantyhose. Practical and alluring. 176 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:06,773 A six-pack. Oh! Only 4.99. 177 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,983 Ooh! Pads of paper. 178 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:12,278 I bet Bart can think of a million things to do with these. 179 00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:15,782 That just leaves little Maggie. Oh, look! 180 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,867 A little squeak toy. 181 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,870 It says it's for dogs, but she can't read. 182 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:25,000 Ow! Oh, Simpson, it's you. 183 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:28,670 - Hello, Flanders. - Oh, my! What a mess we've got here. 184 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:31,172 Well, which ones are yours and which ones are mine? 185 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:34,467 - Well, let's see. - Oh, this one's mine. This one's mine. 186 00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:37,095 - This one's mine, and this-- - They're all yours! 187 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:40,265 - Hey, you dropped your pork chop. 188 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:43,977 - Gimme that! - Well, happy holidays, Simpson. 189 00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:48,565 - Gee, this is the best Christmas ever. - You bet. 190 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:02,203 What's the matter, Homer? Somebody leave a lump of coal in your stocking? 191 00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,497 You've been sitting there, sucking on a beer all day long. 192 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,875 - So? - So, it's Christmas. 193 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,670 - Thanks, Moe. 194 00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,672 Drinks all around! 195 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,674 What's with the crazy getup, Barn? 196 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:19,304 I got me a part-timejob working as a Santa down at the mall. 197 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:21,264 Wow! Can I do that? 198 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:24,184 I don't know. They're pretty selective. 199 00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:26,186 Do you like children? 200 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:29,564 What do you mean? All the time? Even when they're nuts? 201 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:33,193 - Hmm. - Uh, I certainly do. 202 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:35,195 Welcome aboard, Simpson. 203 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:37,906 Pending your successful completion of our training program, that is. 204 00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:41,201 Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho. 205 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:44,204 Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho. 206 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:47,374 - What is it now, Simpson? - Uh, when do we get paid? 207 00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:51,002 Not a dime till Christmas Eve! Now, from the top. 208 00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:54,964 Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho. 209 00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:57,967 Um, Dasher. 210 00:11:58,093 --> 00:12:00,679 - Dancer. - Mm-hmm. 211 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:02,889 - Prancer. - Mm-hmm. 212 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,891 Nixon. 213 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:08,269 Comet and... Cupid. 214 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,271 - Donna Dixon? - Sit down, Simpson. 215 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:12,273 And what would you like, little boy? 216 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,776 - You're not really Santa, tubby. - Why, you little egghead! 217 00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:17,487 No, Homer! If such an emergency arises, 218 00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,365 you just tell them Santa's vey busy this time of year, 219 00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:24,077 - and you are one of his helpers. - Oh, I knew that one too! 220 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,582 Homer, why are you seven hours late? 221 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,585 Not a word, Marge. I'm heading straight for the tub. 222 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,587 But, Homer, my sisters are here. 223 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,798 - Don't you wanna say hello? 224 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,970 - Daddy! We're so glad to see you! - Oh, Dad, you're finally home! 225 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:45,473 What? Why? Oh, yeah. 226 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,184 Hello, Patty. Hello, Selma. 227 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,603 - How was your trip? - Fine. 228 00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,897 - you both look well. - Thank you. 229 00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:56,192 - Yeah, well, Merry Christmas. - It's Christmas? 230 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:59,070 - you wouldn't know it around here. - And why is that? 231 00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:03,199 - For one thing, there's no tree - I was just on my way out to get one! 232 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,993 - Can we go too, Dad? - Yeah, can we? 233 00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,286 No! 234 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:08,997 Sleighbells ring 235 00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:11,583 Are you listening 236 00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:14,377 In the lane 237 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:17,005 Snow is glistening 238 00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:20,383 A beautiful sight 239 00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:23,386 We're happy tonight 240 00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:26,973 - Walking in a winter wonderland 241 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,895 Hey! What do you think you're doin'? 242 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,897 - Uh-oh. - Hey! Hey! 243 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,066 - Come back here! 244 00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:42,072 So what do you think, kids? Beauty, isn't it? 245 00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:44,991 - Wow! Yay, Dad! - Way to go, Dad! 246 00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:48,870 - Why is there a birdhouse in it? - Uh, that's an ornament. 247 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:51,289 Do I smell gunpowder? 248 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:54,167 and then I want some Robotoids. 249 00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:56,378 And then I want a Goop Monster. 250 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,380 And then I want a great big, giant-- 251 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,382 Aw, son, you don't need all that junk. 252 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:03,593 I'm sure you've already got something much more important-- 253 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:08,181 a decent home and a loving father who would do anything for you. 254 00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:10,975 Hey, I couldn't afford lunch. Give me a bite of that donut. 255 00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:15,897 Get a load of that quote-unquote Santa. 256 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:18,191 I can't believe those kids are falling for it. 257 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,402 Hey, Milhouse, I dare you to sit on his lap. 258 00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:24,989 - I dare you to yank his beard off. - Ah, touche. 259 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,991 I hope you feel better, Santa. 260 00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:29,577 Oh, I will when Mrs. Claus' sisters get outta town. 261 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,579 Thanks for listenin', kid. 262 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,583 Hey, Santa, what's shakin', man? 263 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:39,379 What's your name, Bart... ner? Uh, little partner? 264 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:42,674 - I'm Bart Simpson. Who are you? - I'm jolly Old St. Nick. 265 00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:45,176 Oh, yeah? We'll just see about that. 266 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,887 D'oh! 267 00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:51,766 - Homer! - A word with you in Santa's workshop. 268 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:55,186 - Cover for me, Elfie. - I didn't know it was you. 269 00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:57,272 Nobody knows. It's a secret. 270 00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:59,274 I didn't get my bonus this year. 271 00:14:59,274 --> 00:15:01,568 But to keep the family from missing out on Christmas, 272 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,486 - I'd do anything. - I'll say, Dad. 273 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,781 you must really love us to sink so low. 274 00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:10,076 Now, let's not get mushy, son. 275 00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:12,203 I still have a job to do. 276 00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,205 Hey, little ones. Santa's back. 277 00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:16,291 Ho ho-- D'oh! 278 00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:19,169 Damn it to-- 279 00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:21,504 Ah, son, one day you're gonna know... 280 00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,506 the satisfaction of payday. 281 00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:26,885 Receiving a big fat check for a job well done. 282 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,887 Simpson, Homer? Here ya go. 283 00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:33,475 Come on, son. Let's go cash this baby and get presents for-- 284 00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:36,394 Thirteen bucks? Hey, wait a minute. 285 00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,396 That's right. $120 gross. 286 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,398 Less Social Security, less unemployment insurance, 287 00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,484 - less Santa training... - Santa training? 288 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,486 less costume purchase, less beard rental, less Christmas club. 289 00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:46,696 - But-- But-- - See ya next year. 290 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,908 - Ohh! - Come on, Dad. Let's go home. 291 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:51,868 Thirteen bucks? 292 00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:54,204 you can't get anything for 13 bucks. 293 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:57,290 Allright! Thirteen bigones! 294 00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,501 Springfield Downs, here I come! 295 00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:01,795 - What? - you heard me. 296 00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:03,797 I'm goin' to the dog track. 297 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,882 I got a hot little puppy in the fourth race. 298 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,967 - Wanna come? - Sory, Barney. 299 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,304 I may be a total washout as a father, but I'm not gonna take my kid... 300 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:13,682 to a sleazy dog track on Christmas Eve. 301 00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:17,477 Come on, Simpson. The dog's name is Whirlwind. 302 00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:19,979 Ten-to-one shot. Money in the bank. 303 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,981 - Uh-uh. - Ah, come on, Dad. 304 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,901 This can be the miracle that saves the Simpsons' Christmas. 305 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,903 If TV has taught me anything, 306 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,989 it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas. 307 00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:33,785 It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, 308 00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:35,870 it happened to the Smurfs and it's gonna happen to us. 309 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:41,001 Well, okay, let's go. Who's Tiny Tim? 310 00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,587 Hey, Moldy, do you think Santa will be able to find... 311 00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:47,007 ElfCounty under all this snow? 312 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:51,803 I doubt it, Bubbles. We'll be sad little elves this Christmas. 313 00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:53,805 - Oh, no! - Oh, brother. 314 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,890 - Where's your husband? - Yeah. It's getting late. 315 00:16:55,974 --> 00:16:58,601 Said he went caroling with Bart. 316 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:02,605 We're in the money, we're in the money 317 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:05,900 We got a lot of what it takes to get along 318 00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:08,069 I can't believe I'm doing this. 319 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:11,197 Can we open our presents now, Dad? 320 00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:14,284 you know the tradition, son. Not till the eighth race. 321 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,578 Hey, Barney, which one is Whirlwind? 322 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:20,582 Number Six. That's our lucky dog right over there. 323 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,168 He's won his last five races. 324 00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:25,670 What? That scrawny little bag of bones? 325 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:28,381 Come on, Dad. They're all scrawny little bags of bones. 326 00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:30,884 Yeah, you're right. 327 00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:34,304 I guess Whirlwind is our only hope for a Merry Christmas. 328 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,681 Attention, racing fans, we have a late scratch... 329 00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,683 in the fourth race. 330 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:41,770 Number 8, Sir Galahad will be replaced by Santa's Little Helper. 331 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:45,899 Once again, Sir Galahad has been replaced by Santa's Little Helper. 332 00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,984 Bart, did you hear that? 333 00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,986 What a name! Santa's Little Helper! 334 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:53,907 - It's a sign! It's an omen! - It's a coincidence, Dad. 335 00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:56,993 - What are the odds on Santa's Little Helper? - Ninety-nine to one. 336 00:17:57,077 --> 00:18:02,707 Wow! Ninety-nine times thirteen equals... Merry Christmas! 337 00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:04,709 I got a bad feeling about this. 338 00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:06,670 - Don't you believe in me, son? - Uh-- 339 00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:09,798 Come on, boy. Sometimes your faith is all that keeps me going. 340 00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,803 Oh, go for it, Dad. 341 00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:18,682 That's my boy! Eveything on Santa's Little Helper. 342 00:18:18,682 --> 00:18:21,101 Three cheers for Brainy! 343 00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,687 - Hip hip hooray! - Yay! 344 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,689 Unadulterated pap. 345 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:28,274 It's almost 9:00. Where's Homer anyway? 346 00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:31,277 It's so typical of the big doof us to spoil it all. 347 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:33,571 - What, Aunt Patty? - Oh, nothing, dear. 348 00:18:33,697 --> 00:18:35,699 I'm just trashing your father. 349 00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:37,701 Well, I wish you wouldn't... 350 00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:42,080 because aside from the fact he has the same frailties as all human belings. 351 00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:44,082 he's the only father I have. 352 00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:46,876 Therefore, he is my model of manhood, 353 00:18:47,002 --> 00:18:51,381 and my estimation of him will govern the prospects of my adult relationships. 354 00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:55,176 So I hope you bear in mind that any knock at him is a knock at me, 355 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:59,597 and I'm far too young to defend myself against such onslaughts. 356 00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:03,893 Mm-hmm. Go watch your cartoon show, dear. 357 00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,895 Come on, Bart. 358 00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:08,690 Kiss the ticket for good luck, not that we need it. 359 00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,404 Here comes Screwy the mechanical rabbit. 360 00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:15,989 - and they're off! 361 00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:19,284 - Come on, Santa's Little Helper! - Come on, dog! Go, man, go! 362 00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:22,495 It's Whirlwind in the lane, and coming up on the left is Quadruped, 363 00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:24,706 followed by Dog O'War and Fido. 364 00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:27,792 - Go! Come on, boy! - Go! Come on, get that rabbit! 365 00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:30,378 Dog O'War coming up fast on the outside. 366 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,505 - Come on, Santa's Little Helper! - Come on, dog! Go, man, go! 367 00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:35,800 And with a lock on last place, it's Santa's Little Helper. 368 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:39,596 - Don't worry, Dad. 369 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,891 Maybe this is just for suspense before the miracle happens. 370 00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:46,394 - Come on, you stupid dog! Come on! - Go, go! 371 00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:48,688 - Run! Run! - Run, run! Come on, get that rabbit! 372 00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:51,483 - Go, go, Santa's Little Helper! Run! - Go, go, go! 373 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:55,779 Whirlwind by a countrymile, second, ChewMyShoe, followed by Dog O'War. 374 00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:58,281 Oh, jeez! 375 00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:01,701 Doesn't seem possible, but I guess TV has betrayed me. 376 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,287 I don't wanna leave till our dog finishes. 377 00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:11,378 Ah, forget it. Let's go. 378 00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:23,306 - Find any winners, son? - Sory, Dad. 379 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:26,393 Hey, hey, Simpson! What'dl tell you? 380 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:29,688 Whirlwind! Let's go, Daria. 381 00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:37,570 Beat it! Scram! Get lost! 382 00:20:37,696 --> 00:20:40,407 - you came in last for the last time! 383 00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:42,784 Look, Dad, it's Santa's Little Helper. 384 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,787 And don't come back! 385 00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:48,373 Oh, no, you don't! No, no! Get away from me! Uh-uh! 386 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,170 Oh, can we keep him, Dad, please? 387 00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:57,590 But he's a loser! He's pathetic! He's-- 388 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:01,678 A Simpson. 389 00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:07,392 Hmm. Maybe I should call the police. 390 00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:10,687 - Oh, he'll sober up. - Yeah. Come staggering home. 391 00:21:10,687 --> 00:21:12,981 Mm-hmm. Smelling of cheap perfume. 392 00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:15,191 - Homer! 393 00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,902 - What? What the-- Who the-- - Look, eveybody, 394 00:21:17,986 --> 00:21:21,573 - I have a confession to make. - This should be good. 395 00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:24,075 I didn't get my Christmas bonus. 396 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,870 I tried not to let it ruin Christmas for eveybody, 397 00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:28,872 but no matter what I did-- 398 00:21:28,997 --> 00:21:32,500 - Hey, eveybody, lookwhat we got! 399 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:35,378 A dog! All right, Dad! 400 00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:39,382 - God bless him. - So love at first sight is possible. 401 00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:42,093 And if he runs away, he'll be easy to catch. 402 00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:44,304 Oh, this is the best gift of all, Homer! 403 00:21:44,387 --> 00:21:47,098 - It is? - Yes. Something to share our love... 404 00:21:47,098 --> 00:21:49,100 and frighten prowlers. 405 00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:51,394 - What's his name? - Number 8-- 406 00:21:51,394 --> 00:21:54,189 I mean, Santa's Little Helper. 407 00:22:07,786 --> 00:22:10,497 Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer 408 00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:13,708 Had a very shiny nose 409 00:22:13,792 --> 00:22:16,586 And if you ever saw it 410 00:22:16,711 --> 00:22:19,798 - you would even say it glows - Like a light bulb! 411 00:22:19,798 --> 00:22:22,801 -Bart! - All of the other reindeer 412 00:22:22,801 --> 00:22:24,803 Used to laugh and call him names 413 00:22:24,803 --> 00:22:26,805 - Like Shnozzola! -Lisa! 414 00:22:26,805 --> 00:22:29,099 They never let poor Rudolph 415 00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:31,976 - Join in any reindeergames -Like strippoker! 416 00:22:32,102 --> 00:22:35,480 -I'm warning you two! - Then one foggy Christmas Eve 417 00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:38,608 - Santa came to say - Take it, Homer! 418 00:22:38,608 --> 00:22:42,112 Uh, Rudolph get your nose over here 419 00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:45,699 - So you can guide my sleigh today - Oh, Homer. 420 00:22:45,699 --> 00:22:48,576 Then all the reindeer loved him 421 00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:51,705 and they shouted out with glee 422 00:22:51,788 --> 00:22:54,582 Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer 423 00:22:54,708 --> 00:22:58,294 You'll go down in history 424 00:22:58,294 --> 00:22:59,879 -Like Attila the Hu-- - You little-- 425 00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:05,510 Shh. 30671

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.