Original subtitles

I will pray for you, St. Luc.

Good night, Sire. Sweet dreams!

Lord, You who watches over life and death - Your wrath is deserved and just...

... for the world is becoming worse with every day.

Chicot! Chicot!

Where have you been?

Ah, it is you, my friend! I nearly became religious, as I wanted to find out what it`s like!

But, to tell the truth, I have had enough of these monks. Pish! The dirty beasts.

Oh Lord!

What is the matter, Henri?

-Henri! -It is nothing!

Why are you not in bed?

My son, where is your hairdresser, your barber, your valet?

No! None of this tonight. All this is devil`s work.

The Lent season has arrived.

Oh Lord! Lord, forgive me and save me...

By the way, Henri, was it you who ordered all that rabble to assemble in the great hall?

I mean your over-groomed darlings and the duke of Anjou with his rascals.

Yes, you are right. I will be just and do my duty.

Let us go.

I must punish my friends.

Based on a novel by Alexandre Dumas père

La Dame de Monsoreau

Episode 7

Brother!

The Lord was right to make our existence in this world so burdensome...

But He is kind to us sinners, for our sins stem from human weakness!

Nogaret d`Epernon, I order you to depart from Paris tomorrow morning...

... for your ancestral estate where you are to remain until further notice.

Gaspar de Schomberg! You are to leave Paris as well...

... and travel to La Rochelle, where our brave army is fighting against heretics!

I bet all of them will be forgiven within two days!

Jacques de Levis, Comte de Quelus -

I warn you, Comte de Quelus, should you try to attack monsieur de Bussy again...

I will be extremely angry.

The same applies to you, Marquis Jean-Louis de Maugiron.

Monsieur de Bussy! You know how highly I value your exceptional competence.

I wish to see you more often among my friends.

Thank you, Sire.

Oh, Henri, today you dispense favors so easily, perhaps you have something for Chicot as well?

Grant me a fat abbey with 10 000 livres of income per annum!

Monsieur Chicot, come with me.

Good night, messieurs, I will sleep now.

Good night, messieurs, we are going to sleep now!

I am overjoyed to accompany Your Majesty to your bedchamber!

Does this mean I am the new favourite?

Does this mean I am prettier than that Cupid Quelus?

-Stop it. -Does this mean you cannot do without me?

Stop it, I said.

Chicot, my friend!

Let us pray.

Thank you for nothing!

What a favor! What a lovely way to spend time!

-Good night, Your Majesty. -I command you to stay!

Ohhh... Oh! We are becoming a proper tyrant! You are a despot!

I spent all day whipping the backs of my best friends - and you want a repeat?!

I will be damned! Henri, there are only two of us here - and when two fight, each blow lands true!

Think of your sins, babbler!

Which sins? What repentance do you want?

Should I repent that I have become jester to a monk?

I have no wish to be shut in with a manic king! Good night, Your Majesty, I am leaving!

Chicot! Do not leave. Please stay.

You are using my melancholy against me.

What happened to you, Henri? Share your fears with your friend Chicot!

Yes, you are my only friend, Chicot!

If one puts all those jester`s pranks aside, you are a brave man.

Sit. Sit and listen to me.

Last night I was firmly asleep.

And then I felt a strange... movement of air.

Half-awake, I felt that all the hairs on my beard stood on end from fear.

And then... I heard a voice.

Its sound was so mournful that it moved the very depths of my soul!

-Are you listening? Chicot? -Of course, I am all ears!

Well... That voice was terrible, Chicot!

"Sinner! Pathetic sinner!" - it spoke, resounding like thunder.

"I am the Voice of God your Lord!"

"You are mired in sin and lawlessness!"

Who could have predicted this? It seems the Voice of God speaks what your people think!

Sire, I think Your Majesty had a nightmare.

Why are you refusing to believe me, Chicot?

Do you not know that God speaks to kings every time when great changes are due in this world?

Yes, He speaks to them, true. But they never tend to hear Him.

If you say so.

Do you understand now why I requested that you stay?

I am afraid!

Fine, I accept your gracious offer.

I would very much like to hear what the Voice of God has to say!

Maybe it has something interesting in store for me as well!

Thank you. But what should we do until then?

I suggest we sleep.

-Sleep? -Yes, sleep!

-But... -Come with me.

-But you will not fall asleep? -I would not even think of sleep!

Undress.

-I will only remove the doublet. -As you wish!

-But not the hose! -A very wise move!

And what about you?

Me? I will remain in that chair over there.

-But you will not fall asleep? -Do not worry, the Voice of God will not let me.

Chicot! Chicot, please - no jesting with the Voice!

Good night, Henri.

Good night.

-Chicot! Do not fall asleep, please! -I will be damned if I do!

Move it closer to the wall!

Hush, hush!

Chicot! Chicot!

Chicot!

The Breath is here!

-Chicot! -Such strong breath!

It will speak now.

Do you hear it?

UNREPENTANT SINNER! ARE YOU HERE?

Yes! Yes, Lord!

HAVE YOU DONE WHAT I ASKED OF YOU?!

Er, yes!

YOU LIE! THE DEPTHS OF YOUR HEART ARE STILL UNTOUCHED!

-Excellently put! It is all true! -What?

Move aside!

-What for? -For the wrath of the Lord to find me first!

FAITHLESS REPROBATE! WHY ARE YOU STAYING SILENT?! REPENT!

Lord! Oh Lord, I do repent -

... and confess that I behaved like a traitor towards my cousin de Conde...

Whose wife I - oh Lord! - seduced...

Twice!

-What are you babbling about, who cares about that?! -Hush!

-SPEAK! -Yes, Lord.

I also regret shamelessly robbing the Poles...

... after they had appointed me their king and absconding with all their crown jewels!

I repent, oh Lord!

It was long ago, all is forgotten already!

Lord, I also regret stealing the French throne from my brother, the duke of Anjou...

to whom it rightfully belonged, as I had accepted the Polish throne!

-I repent, I regret it all! -Scoundrel, I will have you hanged!

It is the Voice of God, Henri, did you forget?

CONTINUE!

I am done!

YOU LIE! AND WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BROTHER IN LAW...

... THE KING OF NAVARRE, AND YOUR SISTER MARGUERITE?!

-Tell him the truth, do not lie! -Nothing! Nothing, they left France... voluntarily?

VOLUNTARILY?!

OR WAS IT PERHAPS AFTER YOU HAD YOUR SISTER`S FRIENDS AND LOVERS EXECUTED?!

-O God! I am a sinner! A vile sinner! -YOU THINK NOT OF FRANCE, YOUR COUNTRY!

YOU ARE INCONSTANT LIKE A WOMAN, EFFEMINATE LIKE A SYBARITE, DEPRAVED LIKE A PAGAN!

YOU NEARLY RUINED POOR ST. LUC!

Are You certain I have not fully ruined him yet?

NO, NOT YET!

BUT YOU MUST RELEASE HIM IMMEDIATELY, MAKE HIM A DUKE AND HIS WIFE A DUCHESS!!!

And if I do not agree, oh Lord?

IF YOU DO NOT AGREE, YOU WILL BE BOILING IN A HUGE POT FOR ALL ETERNITY!

Lord!

Lord, I understand.

Henri, where are you going?

The conversation with the Voice is not yet over!

-I must release St. Luc at once. -Henri! Henri, wait!

Let us wait until morning at least?

The Voice of God must not wait!

I know, Henri, but you might wake him up, he does not like that!

-Henri, just listen to me! -Do not try to stop me!

Let us wait until morning!

YOU WILL BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY!

Out of my sight!

Adam and Eve after the Fall! Are you banishing them, Henri?

This is our paradise, which you lost due to disobedience -

- from now on you are forbidden to enter!

Get out of my sight.

You must leave Paris in the morning - and do not spare your horses, the king might change his mind!

Proceed.

The Abbey of St. Genevieve

You may pass.

You may pass.

By all saints! Do they only admit those with clean hands into the Abbey today?

What is certain is that something remarkable is happening there.

I would love to gain admission, but two things are needed:

... a proper cassock of a monk and that item they show to the Brother door-keeper.

Alas, Brother Gorenflot is not here - if only he was!

On a related note - I might find him in the Horn of Plenty tavern, as it is his regular dinner time!

Well, let us be curious to the end!

-Good day, lovely one! -Monsieur Chicot!

-Are you dancing then? -Yes!

-I hope you are faithful to me! -Of course, you are the only one!

I would like to believe that...

-I will join you later -I will be waiting!

Maitre Bonnome, has Brother Gorenflot started his dinner yet?

-Not yet, but do hurry! -Why hurry?

It is just that he will have finished dinner in precisely 5 minutes.

-He has not started yet and will finish in five minutes? -Monsieur, today is the first day of Lent!

So what?

It is not like I understand anything about it, but I still recommend you hurry.

Five minutes for Gorenflot`s dinner - ha! Wonders will not cease today!

I can promise you that, monsieur Chicot!

Maitre, please bring upstairs two bottles of wine, pâté and a chicken - and be quick about it!

Will not take a minute!

My friend!

Oh Lord! What is this?

What are you doing?

Do you not see, my brother? I am dining...

-Dining? -Yes.

-You call this dinner? -Yes.

-You, Gorenflot? -Yes, me.

-Grass and cheese? -Grass and cheese.

What happened to you?

Tsk tsk, we are on the first Wednesday of Lent!

Yes, yes, yes! I am a sinner, I know.

Water! We should care about our souls` salvation, my brother!

Has it been long since your breakfast, friend?

I did not have breakfast today, my brother!

If you were not breaking your fast, what were you doing?

-I was composing a speech! -Speech?!

-Surely you jest! -No, I was.

I do not understand - what for?

To present it tonight in the Abbey!

Yes, monsieur Chicot. My brother, I must be on my way.

My friend, at least finish you grass!

By the way, maitre Bonnome, our host, claims that...

... he has around 50 bottles of a most excellent vintage in his cellar!

All other wines are simply a pale imitation!

I must make a speech myself today, but, as I believe in the wondrous properties of wine, I will order a bottle!

What might go well with that? Advise me.

Nibbles... Ugh, only none of this repellent stuff!

That is for sure! Maitre Bonnome!

Here I am! Tra-la-la! Here I am!

This is for you, monsieur Chicot! And this for you... not.

Here, and here...

Maitre Bonnome, please bring us two bottles of that best vintage you claimed you had!

With great pleasure, monsieur Chicot!

Two?! Why two? Do not! I will not drink!

-I do not want to, you cannot make me!!! -My friend, if you were drinking, I would order 4 bottles.

Or six... Or all the bottles in this cellar!

But as I will be drinking alone, two would suffice.

This is all good, yes, my brother! Only if you will have an abstentious Lent-meal with that!

Then your confessor will have nothing to reproach you with!

Of course, who would eat meat on the Wednesday of the Lenten season?

Of course not! Where would we be then!

Oh! Oh! What are you doing?

-Eating a carp! -Carp?!

Of course a carp!

But why... how did your carp sprout wings?

Fins, dear friend, fins!

Are you drunk?

Me? Drunk? I haven`t... not at all! I have only drunk water!

All that water must have gone to your head!

Our host is here! He cooked this, he should tell us.

Agreed! But first he should open a bottle of wine, I want to try it!

-Maitre Bonnome! -Here you go, it is magnificent!

-No!!! -Pardon!

Please sit down, maitre Bonnome!

I am an incompetent wine-taster! My tongue has no memory whatsoever...

My friend, you were sent to this world to help your fellow man, show me the way!

I want to know if this wine is truly good! Try a sip at least.

-One sip, what is it to you? -Fine!

No no, this will not do! Please! You did not pour enough!

Enough, enough!

This one is the best! I guarantee it!

You are in cahoots with our innkeeper here, I do not believe you!

Me? My brother, a true drunkard can identify the tap of wine on the first sip...

... the brand on the second and the year on the third!

Year? I would very much like to know in which year this wine was bottled!

-Nothing easier! Pour me a few drops! -Here you go!

Some more, please! More! A bit more! Filling it is enough.

One thousand... five hundred... sixty... first!

-1561, all correct! -And now I have to leave.

What? Without tasting my carp?

Ah, nearly forgot - maitre Bonnome, which creature is this?

I beg your pardon.

It is a chicken!

Told you so!

A chicken, what do you mean, chicken?

A hen, monsieur Chicot! Or a rooster...

Maitre Bonnome, please leave us.

I am very sorry. A hen or a ro-o-o-ster!

My friend, I would really love to eat this chicken! But I also do not want to sin doing that...

I beg you, in the name of our great friendship, please bless this chicken and call it "carp".

-Carp? My brother, do not lead me into temptation! -Please! Or I will commit a mortal sin by eating meat!

A chicken to a carp?

This will not work. No holy water around!

Then bless it using wine - the end justifies the means!

And I do not think the taste would suffer for that!

-It will not suffer? -No! -It will not suffer!

In the name of... Bacchus, Momus and the Trinity of St. Pantagruel... you are now called... carp!

And now let us drink to my godchild`s health!

To our godchild`s health!

This one packs a punch!

Come here, my lovely! Sit with us!

Scoundrels!

-Hey! Let her go! Hands off! -But she wants to sit with us!

-Come here, dear child! -Uncle!

Do not let that worry you!

Where would I be without you?

"Wine and sorrow have been arguing in my head for a long lo-o-o-ng while!"

-Praise the Lord, I feel a bit better now! -Finally!

As soon as I finish eating these eggs here, I will be right as rain!

Chicot, you know, for the last three days this speech has been stuck in my head!

It has become a part of me! But it is for the best - I will make that speech!

I will be presenting it in such a way! Just imagine my grand entrance...

Which entrance? How can you enter, if all the doors of the Abbey close at ten?

I will enter as easily as this wine enters my stomach!

Listening to you, one could believe you would enter without touching the doors!

Yes! All doors are open for Brother Gorenflot!

Brother Gorenflot has a key... Right here!

You want me to believe a simple monk has the key to the Abbey?

-No way! -And what do you think this is?

What is this then? What?

Money! You sly beast, you bribe the door-keepers?!

And here you are wrong - this coin has a likeness of an heretic on it!

Henri, the king of Navarre - and I spit on him!

-And he has a hole where heart should be! -A hole? -Yes, a hole!

He is a heretic, right? One blow with a knife - a heretic`s murderer becomes a saint!

Death to heretics! Death!

Death! Glory to the mass! Glory... glory!

Listen, Chicot, this is how it will go:

I am entering - the company is really top tier! Here barons, there counts...

-Some other nobles also scattered around... -And princes?

Yes, Chicot, princes as well! And the brothers of my order behind me...

-I enter... -Let us rehearse! -Yes, let us! -I enter...

-And they call me: "Bro..." - your cue! -Brother Gorenflot!

I am here, brothers! I am here!

Brothers! Today is a lovely day for our faith! No, that cannot be right...

Brothers, today is an exceptional day... no, not this one either! It was something else!

Eksept... ekzept... except... Let me wash my throat with wine first!

Brothers!.. Brothers? Where are you? I cannot see you, my brothers!

-My speech is over... -Indeed.

Maitre Bonnome, this is for the dinner - and especially for helping to put Gorenflot to the sleep of the just!

Thank you - I am always at your service, monsieur Chicot!

You may pass. Pass. It`s time.

Brothers! Please wait, my brothers!

Please do not close the gate! Ugh, I was nearly late...

It`s me, Brother Gorenflot!

Enter.

We should close the gate now.

-Brother gate-keeper, have you closed the gate? -Yes, brother.

-Do not let anyone else enter. -Yes, my brother.

Brother door-keeper, how many people did you allow inside?

One hundred and thirty six!

The numbers match. Then this is the Lord`s will.

Well, well, well! A pity that I cannot see the participants` faces!

On the other hand, I cannot be seen either.

We will now open the great Council of the Holy Union!

And may the Lord`s will aid us! You may proceed, Claude de Chevreuse.

My brothers! The fate of the French throne is of no little concern to us, good Catholics!

We cannot tolerate an heretic inheriting it! Our king, Henri de Valois, has no heirs.

Should he die childless, which is extremely likely, his brother, the duke of Anjou, will take his place.

But he has no children either! And they do tend to die young in that family.

Will we then allow this confirmed heretic...

... this unrepentant Huguenot Henri de Navarre to take the throne?!

Throw the Huguenots into flames! And Navarre as well! Death to them!

Absolutely correct, death to them!

But he has friends.

This means we must decrease their number.

Our Union is a holy one - the Pope himself legitimized it!

-I demand that the Union stops being a secret! -Yes! Correct! This should stop!

And when a new St. Bartholomew`s Day comes...

... we will save the Lord the trouble of separating the sheep from the goats!

The Holy Union thanks Claude de Chevreuse for his zeal -

- his contribution will be considered by the High Council.

Brother Gorenflot!

Brother Gorenflot!

Brother Gorenflot, where are you?

Ah, it is I who is Gorenflot tonight.

Oh Lord, forgive the sinner!

I am here! I am here, brothers! Please forgive me -

I was sunk into pious reflections inspired by our brother`s speech!

I did not hear the summoning.

Brothers, what a lovely day, what an excellent day for our faith, for we have all assembled in this temple!

What is the kingdom of France? A body!

As St. Augustin said: "Omnis civitas corpus est!" Every society is a body.

A good health is required for this body to function - how should this health be preserved?

A sensible bloodletting might do the trick.

Bloodletting! This is what good Catholics who give me eggs, chickens and money for the Abbey tell me!

This might be contradicted - as the Holy Church abhors blood!

But where is it said whose blood it is which horrifies the church?!

I could lay a wager it is not the blood of heretics!

I myself, Jacques Gorenflot, used to carry a musket in the Champagne...

... and even burned a few Huguenots in their chapel!

I assumed a cozy place in paradise was secured for me - at least I thought so!

But then I discovered a stain on my conscience -

... before burning those Huguenot women we got some amusement out of them!

This might have tainted our holy work slightly - at least my confessor told me so!

This is why I became a monk in a hurry -

... and to clear the taint of those heretics on my conscience,

I vowed to associate with good Catholic women exclusively!

It now remains to me to speak of our chiefs - it is all well and prudent to steal in in a monk`s cassock!

But such a great caution might invite the mockery of those damned heretics!

But credit where credit is due - in a fight they are truly fierce!

What is it we are craving? To eradicate herecy! Then what are we waiting for?

Why are we hiding like a bunch of thieves in the night?!

Why do we not walk on the streets of Paris in a holy procession...

... and show our excellent military bearing and weapons?!

Who will set an example, you ask? Let it be me - Brother Gorenflot!

A humble, lowly monk - a collector of alms!

In a cuirasse, armed with a musket I will lead all good Catholics into battle!

Thank you! Thank you, brothers! My thanks...

Now this I call success, brother Gorenflot!

What is happening? They are far too excited!

This we do not need, let us finish here.

Brothers! The assembly is over, it is time to go.

Ah, I see - another coin is needed to leave this place!

This Gorenflot...

Translated by Grafinyademonsoro on Tumblr