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1
00:00:02,065 --> 00:00:04,033
There they are.
How'd the job go?
2
00:00:04,167 --> 00:00:06,152
Well, we were in a
cold warehouse
3
00:00:06,221 --> 00:00:07,455
guarding fitness equipment.
4
00:00:07,522 --> 00:00:08,862
- How do you think it went?
- Ah.
5
00:00:08,931 --> 00:00:11,394
There were no chairs,
so we had to sit on buckets.
6
00:00:11,463 --> 00:00:12,504
And mine broke.
7
00:00:12,652 --> 00:00:15,152
- Told you to double it up.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
8
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,824
Fellas, I was just making
small talk.
9
00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:19,582
I don't really care.
10
00:00:21,141 --> 00:00:22,644
Where's, uh...
11
00:00:22,784 --> 00:00:23,996
Where's Vanessa?
12
00:00:24,159 --> 00:00:25,191
She's at FedEx.
13
00:00:25,245 --> 00:00:26,286
Oh, by the way,
14
00:00:26,355 --> 00:00:28,082
she has a birthday
coming up this Saturday.
15
00:00:28,164 --> 00:00:29,293
Oh, boy,
I almost forgot.
16
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:30,401
You did forget.
17
00:00:30,510 --> 00:00:32,410
That's why
I put some ideas together.
18
00:00:32,552 --> 00:00:33,955
All right,
check this out.
19
00:00:34,065 --> 00:00:36,205
A cop comes in,
right?
20
00:00:36,466 --> 00:00:39,132
Everyone looks around,
confused, scared.
21
00:00:39,230 --> 00:00:40,239
And then, boom!
22
00:00:40,308 --> 00:00:41,408
Out of the blue,
23
00:00:41,559 --> 00:00:44,127
"Officer Goodbody"
tears off his uniform,
24
00:00:44,311 --> 00:00:45,526
and he starts to dance,
25
00:00:45,595 --> 00:00:47,658
making his butt cheeks go
like this.
26
00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:54,346
What else you got?
27
00:00:55,572 --> 00:00:58,018
Uh, ice-cream cake and
a two-liter bottle of soda.
28
00:00:58,087 --> 00:00:59,087
Done!
29
00:00:59,286 --> 00:01:02,002
Uh, you know you gotta do
more than that, right?
30
00:01:02,199 --> 00:01:04,049
Don't you remember when
we were on the force...
31
00:01:04,155 --> 00:01:06,359
Vanessa made a huge deal
about her birthday?
32
00:01:06,428 --> 00:01:08,268
Yeah. It's like,
"I get it, all right?
33
00:01:08,351 --> 00:01:11,096
You were born.
Let it go."
34
00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:13,473
Maybe we should
plan a party...
35
00:01:13,542 --> 00:01:14,871
Deck the whole place out,
36
00:01:14,962 --> 00:01:16,051
you know, make it special.
37
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:17,960
Or we go with
Rootger's idea...
38
00:01:18,029 --> 00:01:20,521
Ice-cream cake and a bottle of soda,
and I'm gonna say this...
39
00:01:20,590 --> 00:01:23,176
I don't even think we need to the
bottle of soda, to be honest.
40
00:01:23,580 --> 00:01:25,123
- Hey! Hey!
- Hey! Hey!
41
00:01:25,192 --> 00:01:26,232
Hi, guys.
42
00:01:26,301 --> 00:01:29,826
Well, somebody's got
a birthday coming up.
43
00:01:29,925 --> 00:01:30,997
What are you gonna be?
44
00:01:31,066 --> 00:01:33,356
Turning the old 47... 41? 41?
45
00:01:33,425 --> 00:01:35,074
- You're 41.
- Yes.
46
00:01:35,235 --> 00:01:37,231
But we're just gonna treat
it like any other day.
47
00:01:37,999 --> 00:01:40,660
Okay, you don't want a
party or a little gift...
48
00:01:40,729 --> 00:01:41,601
A little something-something?
49
00:01:41,670 --> 00:01:43,496
Nope.
You're off the hook.
50
00:01:44,652 --> 00:01:45,954
It's a trap, dawg.
51
00:01:46,215 --> 00:01:47,606
Oh, I get
what you're doing here.
52
00:01:47,754 --> 00:01:49,262
Okay, it's one of those
things where
53
00:01:49,331 --> 00:01:51,104
you're saying
you don't want a party,
54
00:01:51,173 --> 00:01:53,144
but, actually,
deep down inside,
55
00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:54,674
you kind of do.
You get that, boys?
56
00:01:54,743 --> 00:01:57,510
So, we're... we're "not"
planning a party for Vanessa.
57
00:01:58,838 --> 00:02:00,409
Listen to me now.
58
00:02:03,970 --> 00:02:07,643
I don't want
anything, okay?
59
00:02:07,712 --> 00:02:09,992
I just want to forget
that it's my birthday
60
00:02:10,061 --> 00:02:11,542
and move on with my life.
61
00:02:11,611 --> 00:02:12,752
Don't read into that.
62
00:02:12,821 --> 00:02:14,861
That's it, okay?
You got it?
63
00:02:16,181 --> 00:02:17,958
This is a trick, right?
You want a party.
64
00:02:18,027 --> 00:02:19,315
No!
65
00:02:23,168 --> 00:02:24,526
What just happened here?
66
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,336
Okay, a "My Little Pony"
ice-cream cake
67
00:02:27,441 --> 00:02:28,651
has just been ordered.
68
00:02:28,779 --> 00:02:30,694
Rootger, she just said
she didn't want a party.
69
00:02:30,763 --> 00:02:31,791
Oh, I'll cancel it, then.
70
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,728
Yeah, I-I wouldn't do that
71
00:02:33,797 --> 00:02:35,377
because it's probably
a lot of red tape.
72
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:36,995
You have to go through
the thing.
73
00:02:37,723 --> 00:02:39,073
Actually, it's just one click.
74
00:02:39,142 --> 00:02:40,385
I know, but it's probably
on the way,
75
00:02:40,454 --> 00:02:41,471
and that wouldn't be nice to...
76
00:02:41,540 --> 00:02:42,565
No, it hasn't left yet.
77
00:02:42,634 --> 00:02:44,207
- But I'm sure we paid for it, so...
- Nope.
78
00:02:44,276 --> 00:02:45,379
Okay, why...
why are you making me
79
00:02:45,448 --> 00:02:47,362
go through this, Rootger?
I want the cake.
80
00:02:48,984 --> 00:02:53,260
*KEVIN CAN WAIT*
Season 02 Episode 20
Episode Title: "Forty Seven Candles"
81
00:02:54,387 --> 00:02:56,573
H-How do you spell
"boom-shaka-laka"?
82
00:02:56,652 --> 00:02:58,120
Oh, just like it sounds.
83
00:02:59,189 --> 00:03:01,979
I have no idea.
That's not even a real word!
84
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:03,105
Why?
85
00:03:03,174 --> 00:03:05,612
It's for Vanessa's card.
Hey, check it out.
86
00:03:05,771 --> 00:03:07,471
"Think you won't have
a great birthday?
87
00:03:07,540 --> 00:03:08,927
You're off your rock-ah.
88
00:03:08,996 --> 00:03:12,541
'Cause it's time to party
like boom-shaka-laka."
89
00:03:13,158 --> 00:03:14,287
It's great, right?
90
00:03:14,356 --> 00:03:15,470
No.
91
00:03:15,764 --> 00:03:17,580
Please tell me that's
not all you got her.
92
00:03:17,649 --> 00:03:19,776
No, no, I got her...
I got her this too.
93
00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:21,338
A gift card to Chili's.
94
00:03:21,407 --> 00:03:22,416
Yep.
95
00:03:22,485 --> 00:03:24,158
That Chale gave you
for Christmas.
96
00:03:24,385 --> 00:03:25,862
Yeah, it's called "re-gifting""
97
00:03:25,931 --> 00:03:27,231
Everybody's doing it now.
98
00:03:27,478 --> 00:03:29,870
Mr. Gable, you took us
to dinner with that.
99
00:03:29,945 --> 00:03:31,174
- We ate.
- Yeah.
100
00:03:31,330 --> 00:03:33,213
There's still $37.50 on it, okay?
101
00:03:33,282 --> 00:03:35,035
And that goes a long way
at Chili's, all right?
102
00:03:35,112 --> 00:03:36,112
Dad, no!
103
00:03:36,181 --> 00:03:37,715
Vanessa is your business partner.
104
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,455
And more importantly,
she's a really good friend.
105
00:03:39,524 --> 00:03:40,558
You have to do better.
106
00:03:40,627 --> 00:03:42,166
Believe me, I tried
to throw her a party.
107
00:03:42,235 --> 00:03:43,377
She almost bit my head off.
108
00:03:43,446 --> 00:03:45,939
Ahh, maybe she's a little bit sensitive
109
00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:47,018
about getting older.
110
00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:49,049
Ooh.
I didn't think of that.
111
00:03:49,122 --> 00:03:50,918
You know what it is?
I always take this for granted...
112
00:03:50,987 --> 00:03:53,164
How I keep it all
up to code.
113
00:03:55,613 --> 00:03:57,455
Okay, anyway,
no matter how much
114
00:03:57,524 --> 00:03:59,179
Vanessa says
she doesn't want a party,
115
00:03:59,388 --> 00:04:01,182
- trust me, she does.
- True.
116
00:04:01,251 --> 00:04:03,277
Women will often use
subtext
117
00:04:03,346 --> 00:04:05,159
as a way of expressing
their feelings.
118
00:04:05,228 --> 00:04:06,511
The key is to learn
119
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,940
how to tune into
their frequency.
120
00:04:09,096 --> 00:04:10,573
My dial, for example,
121
00:04:10,642 --> 00:04:15,010
is always set to
radio station K-endra.
122
00:04:16,026 --> 00:04:18,838
Where it's love all the time.
123
00:04:20,931 --> 00:04:22,729
Time to change the station,
guy.
124
00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:25,674
But you know what?
You're right.
125
00:04:25,795 --> 00:04:26,963
I gotta do something.
126
00:04:27,032 --> 00:04:28,666
I gotta figure it...
127
00:04:29,893 --> 00:04:31,252
My God,
let's do a surprise party.
128
00:04:31,321 --> 00:04:32,658
I'll throw one for her
at Monkey Fist.
129
00:04:32,727 --> 00:04:34,479
Oh, yeah.
We could just decorate it to the hilt.
130
00:04:34,548 --> 00:04:35,541
Yeah! Ooh, and we can have
131
00:04:35,610 --> 00:04:36,712
- and we can have...
- Shamana! No, no, you're not
132
00:04:36,781 --> 00:04:37,930
doing anything.
133
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,843
Okay, this is my baby,
all right?
134
00:04:39,938 --> 00:04:40,992
I'll plan everything.
135
00:04:41,061 --> 00:04:42,300
Dad, no.
Are you sure?
136
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:43,453
'Cause, you know, you always say
137
00:04:43,522 --> 00:04:44,677
details aren't really your thing.
138
00:04:44,746 --> 00:04:45,758
Why don't you just
make a list,
139
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:46,858
and Chale and I can knock it off?
140
00:04:46,921 --> 00:04:47,930
I got it all covered.
141
00:04:47,999 --> 00:04:49,516
Okay, well, do you
have the phone numbers
142
00:04:49,585 --> 00:04:51,336
for everyone she'd like to invite?
143
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,361
Except for that.
144
00:04:54,383 --> 00:04:55,962
Oh, boy.
Uh, you know what?
145
00:04:56,047 --> 00:04:58,000
I'll just... I'll just grab her phone.
I'll take 'em from there.
146
00:04:58,069 --> 00:05:00,530
Even easier... I set up the
servers at Monkey Fist.
147
00:05:00,616 --> 00:05:03,095
I can hack into her
account in a twinkling.
148
00:05:03,271 --> 00:05:04,852
Uh, what?
No.
149
00:05:04,952 --> 00:05:06,922
That is such an invasion of privacy.
You can't do that.
150
00:05:06,992 --> 00:05:08,251
- It is. It really is, yeah.
- Uh, no.
151
00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:09,508
You're right, you're right.
Sorry.
152
00:05:09,577 --> 00:05:11,570
I just... I lost my moral
compass for a second.
153
00:05:11,639 --> 00:05:13,688
- What is wrong with you?
- I... I'll think of something else.
154
00:05:13,757 --> 00:05:14,673
- Yeah, okay.
- Sorry.
155
00:05:14,742 --> 00:05:15,984
Sorry about that, sweetheart.
156
00:05:16,053 --> 00:05:17,654
You're a...
Start hacking.
157
00:05:20,894 --> 00:05:22,527
- Hey, Dad.
- Hey.
158
00:05:22,596 --> 00:05:23,922
Hey, Mr. Gable.
159
00:05:26,547 --> 00:05:27,823
What's going on with the shirt?
160
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,253
Oh, all my stuff's in the laundry.
161
00:05:29,322 --> 00:05:31,070
I just
borrowed one of Kendra's.
162
00:05:31,429 --> 00:05:33,203
Okay, well, I'm gonna
need a different shirt
163
00:05:33,272 --> 00:05:35,266
or some acid for my eyes.
164
00:05:36,838 --> 00:05:39,962
Sorry, I'll... I'll just
go and put on a dirty one.
165
00:05:40,031 --> 00:05:41,177
Yeah.
166
00:05:41,454 --> 00:05:42,516
Whoa.
167
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:43,922
All right, Vanessa's party.
168
00:05:43,991 --> 00:05:45,835
Um, here's what
I'm thinking
169
00:05:45,904 --> 00:05:47,601
- food-wise.
- Oh, okay.
170
00:05:47,707 --> 00:05:48,789
All right.
171
00:05:48,901 --> 00:05:50,289
- Cheese pizza.
- Uh-huh.
172
00:05:50,367 --> 00:05:51,958
- Crackers and cheese.
- Yep.
173
00:05:52,136 --> 00:05:53,567
Mozzarella balls.
174
00:05:53,740 --> 00:05:55,817
And cheesecake
for dessert.
175
00:05:55,886 --> 00:05:57,459
Okay, do you see
a pattern here?
176
00:05:57,528 --> 00:05:58,966
Indeed. Do you?
177
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:01,075
Everything has cheese in it.
178
00:06:01,144 --> 00:06:02,276
Yeah, it's called
a theme.
179
00:06:02,345 --> 00:06:03,973
No, it's called stuff
you like.
180
00:06:04,081 --> 00:06:05,493
That's the theme.
181
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:09,433
- Hey.
- Hey.
182
00:06:09,676 --> 00:06:12,544
I, uh... I got to talk to
Vanessa about something.
183
00:06:12,769 --> 00:06:14,073
What's the mood today?
184
00:06:14,163 --> 00:06:15,177
Not great.
185
00:06:15,305 --> 00:06:17,797
I said "Good morning,"
and she said, "Is it?"
186
00:06:17,958 --> 00:06:19,133
And then she went in there
187
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,568
and started typing...
Like, uh, angry typing.
188
00:06:23,492 --> 00:06:24,654
Probably the birthday thing.
189
00:06:24,792 --> 00:06:26,575
Well, she's a woman of
a certain age.
190
00:06:26,658 --> 00:06:28,382
Her body is starting
to deteriorate.
191
00:06:28,451 --> 00:06:32,035
You know, it's... it's hard
to hide that with lipstick.
192
00:06:32,455 --> 00:06:33,761
She tries, though.
193
00:06:33,979 --> 00:06:36,649
You didn't say that before you
said "Good morning," did you?
194
00:06:37,551 --> 00:06:38,967
In my head, I said it.
195
00:06:39,036 --> 00:06:41,116
Okay, good, 'cause I'm
throwing her a surprise party
196
00:06:41,185 --> 00:06:43,177
on Saturday,
and I... I gotta convince her
197
00:06:43,246 --> 00:06:45,486
to go to dinner with me,
you know, as a... as a cover.
198
00:06:45,555 --> 00:06:47,151
Oof. What if she doesn't go for it?
199
00:06:47,229 --> 00:06:49,692
She has to...
I got a massive deposit down
200
00:06:50,023 --> 00:06:51,620
and decorations and
all that stuff.
201
00:06:51,689 --> 00:06:53,699
I got a cake coming with
her fat face on it.
202
00:06:53,768 --> 00:06:54,847
It's gonna be a fun time, though.
203
00:06:54,916 --> 00:06:56,322
Gonna be a lot of fun.
204
00:06:56,681 --> 00:06:59,205
Okay, but I would wait if I were you.
205
00:06:59,432 --> 00:07:01,432
Like I say, she's not
very happy right now.
206
00:07:01,501 --> 00:07:03,846
Oh, please. I can handle it.
207
00:07:06,455 --> 00:07:07,658
Hey, how's it going?
208
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:09,276
Good. Busy.
209
00:07:09,540 --> 00:07:11,343
Cool, cool.
210
00:07:11,494 --> 00:07:12,946
Very cool.
211
00:07:13,502 --> 00:07:14,625
Uhh! So, I was thinking,
212
00:07:14,694 --> 00:07:16,847
uh, Saturday, maybe we
hit the new steak place
213
00:07:16,916 --> 00:07:18,322
that opened up on 110.
214
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:20,869
Apparently, they got a ribeye
the size of your head.
215
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,066
Ha ha.
No.
216
00:07:23,321 --> 00:07:25,498
Saturday is my birthday,
and I told you
217
00:07:25,567 --> 00:07:27,404
I don't want to do anything.
218
00:07:27,473 --> 00:07:28,782
What? It's just dinner.
219
00:07:28,851 --> 00:07:29,875
Look, you gotta eat.
220
00:07:29,958 --> 00:07:31,490
If not the steaks,
how about, uh, Chinese?
221
00:07:31,559 --> 00:07:33,748
We'll go to Chin Wa's. They got
dumplings the size of your fist.
222
00:07:33,815 --> 00:07:35,904
Okay, the answer is no.
223
00:07:36,096 --> 00:07:38,162
Okay? I'm sleeping all day.
224
00:07:38,611 --> 00:07:40,201
My friend works at a pet clinic,
225
00:07:40,270 --> 00:07:41,710
and she's getting me
one of those pills
226
00:07:41,779 --> 00:07:43,520
they give to nervous puppies.
227
00:07:43,868 --> 00:07:46,686
Mama gonna go down
nice and smooth.
228
00:07:47,785 --> 00:07:49,662
Look, I know
what's going on here.
229
00:07:49,994 --> 00:07:53,466
Birthdays... look, they get
less fun as you get older.
230
00:07:53,535 --> 00:07:54,861
- They just do.
- Huh.
231
00:07:54,966 --> 00:07:56,649
But we can't pretend
like they don't happen.
232
00:07:56,718 --> 00:07:58,271
Mm, well, that's what
I've been trying to do,
233
00:07:58,340 --> 00:08:00,233
but you won't shut up.
234
00:08:01,199 --> 00:08:02,646
Look, my birthday just reminds me
235
00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:04,728
of all the stuff that I
didn't do in my life.
236
00:08:04,797 --> 00:08:06,001
No house. No kids.
237
00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:07,670
I've always wanted
to go to Hawaii.
238
00:08:07,739 --> 00:08:09,033
Walk over hot coals.
239
00:08:09,102 --> 00:08:10,623
Sing a duet with Prince.
240
00:08:10,692 --> 00:08:11,880
It's probably for the best.
241
00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:15,099
I mean, those coals,
they're crazy hot.
242
00:08:15,502 --> 00:08:18,795
And the Prince thing...
Well, you know.
243
00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:22,146
Hey, the point is,
I am turning 47,
244
00:08:22,215 --> 00:08:23,751
and I'm just...
245
00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:26,013
not where I thought I
would be in my life.
246
00:08:26,082 --> 00:08:27,788
I just don't see many
reasons to celebrate.
247
00:08:27,857 --> 00:08:29,693
What?
You think you're the only one
248
00:08:29,762 --> 00:08:31,270
who hasn't done things
that they w...
249
00:08:31,339 --> 00:08:32,491
That they wanted to do?
250
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:33,566
I mean, I...
251
00:08:33,635 --> 00:08:35,602
I got a crazy list. But
you know what I do?
252
00:08:35,879 --> 00:08:37,966
I push forward, and that's
what I need you to do.
253
00:08:38,035 --> 00:08:41,323
Okay, so
what's on your bucket list?
254
00:08:41,429 --> 00:08:42,513
It's kind of private.
255
00:08:42,582 --> 00:08:44,724
What? I just told you my stuff.
Tell me yours.
256
00:08:44,793 --> 00:08:46,740
Fine. I always wanted
to see an eagle...
257
00:08:46,912 --> 00:08:48,441
You know, in real life.
258
00:08:48,772 --> 00:08:50,192
An eagle.
259
00:08:50,308 --> 00:08:51,636
How about that?
260
00:08:51,827 --> 00:08:54,185
Well, it can't be that
hard to see a bird.
261
00:08:56,064 --> 00:08:57,322
What else you got?
262
00:08:57,391 --> 00:08:58,720
I always wanted to go
to Statue of Liberty.
263
00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:00,154
- What?
- The Statue of Liberty...
264
00:09:00,223 --> 00:09:02,209
- The lady in the harbor.
- I know the lady in the harbor!
265
00:09:02,278 --> 00:09:03,380
I know who you're talking about.
266
00:09:03,449 --> 00:09:04,938
I'm saying you live on
Long Island!
267
00:09:05,007 --> 00:09:07,585
- It's right there!
- I've seen it a bunch of times,
268
00:09:07,654 --> 00:09:10,515
mostly from that karate
studio in Brooklyn.
269
00:09:10,643 --> 00:09:12,990
Remember I was taking lessons
there for the longest time?
270
00:09:13,610 --> 00:09:15,435
Man, when I quit,
I quit out of nowhere,
271
00:09:15,504 --> 00:09:16,966
and I was getting in
wicked-good shape.
272
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,537
I was almost able to do like
a split between two chairs.
273
00:09:19,606 --> 00:09:20,608
Like Van Damme.
274
00:09:20,677 --> 00:09:21,615
You ever see
Van Damme in the movies
275
00:09:21,684 --> 00:09:23,466
where he does the splits
as he get down low?
276
00:09:23,542 --> 00:09:25,420
Oh, these splits... that's
another thing on my list.
277
00:09:25,489 --> 00:09:27,007
Okay, well,
that's not gonna happen.
278
00:09:27,076 --> 00:09:28,521
You can barely pick up a
pencil off the floor.
279
00:09:28,590 --> 00:09:29,677
Okay.
280
00:09:29,788 --> 00:09:31,679
What do you want?
I got a bad back, okay?
281
00:09:31,748 --> 00:09:33,654
But for the rest of me,
I'm like a boneless chicken.
282
00:09:33,721 --> 00:09:35,283
- I'm very supple. Very supple.
- Okay.
283
00:09:35,350 --> 00:09:36,943
You know what I want?
To be out of this conversation.
284
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,943
So if going to dinner with
you will shut you up, great!
285
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,237
Let's do dinner Saturday.
286
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:41,544
Fine. I love it. All right.
287
00:09:41,613 --> 00:09:43,763
Uh, y-you want to do,
uh, head steaks
288
00:09:43,832 --> 00:09:45,117
or the, uh, fist dumplings?
289
00:09:45,186 --> 00:09:46,810
- Doesn't matter, hun.
- Pick one.
290
00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:48,511
Fist dumplings.
291
00:09:48,580 --> 00:09:50,341
Nope, not even close.
Head steaks.
292
00:09:57,526 --> 00:09:58,896
You know what?
293
00:09:59,791 --> 00:10:00,985
Forget dinner.
294
00:10:01,054 --> 00:10:02,996
I'm gonna throw myself a party.
295
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:04,776
What's that, now?
296
00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:07,459
Yeah, I mean,
you were right.
297
00:10:07,528 --> 00:10:08,568
What am I thinking about?
298
00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:10,209
I mean,
my life is pretty great.
299
00:10:10,278 --> 00:10:13,095
And I should throw
myself a birthday bash.
300
00:10:13,298 --> 00:10:14,364
I never said "great."
301
00:10:14,477 --> 00:10:16,755
I mean, you're...
you're bumping along, doing fine.
302
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,811
No! Come on,
like, I've never done it.
303
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,146
Like, you know, I'm gonna
invite all my friends,
304
00:10:21,215 --> 00:10:22,400
rent out a space.
305
00:10:22,469 --> 00:10:25,771
I'll get a signature drink
a "Cellucci Sunrise""
306
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:26,897
I love that! Oh, my God.
307
00:10:26,966 --> 00:10:27,943
And then I'll get a limo...
308
00:10:28,012 --> 00:10:29,443
Uh, you know, I-I think
it's a bad idea.
309
00:10:29,512 --> 00:10:30,521
First of all, limos are
310
00:10:30,590 --> 00:10:32,169
very dangerous
'cause... You know why?
311
00:10:32,254 --> 00:10:33,890
The mechanics who work on
'em, they don't own 'em,
312
00:10:33,959 --> 00:10:34,959
so they don't... they don't care.
313
00:10:35,028 --> 00:10:36,872
Oh, shut up.
Well, this is gonna be great.
314
00:10:36,941 --> 00:10:37,880
I'm gonna start planning it.
315
00:10:37,949 --> 00:10:39,998
You know what?
Thank you, Kevin.
316
00:10:40,178 --> 00:10:41,502
You're right.
317
00:10:48,662 --> 00:10:50,209
That went straight in the crapper.
318
00:10:56,076 --> 00:10:57,404
Let me see if I got this right...
319
00:10:57,473 --> 00:10:59,393
Vanessa's on her way, and
she's gonna invite us
320
00:10:59,462 --> 00:11:01,841
to a beach party, but
we're supposed to say no?
321
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:03,619
Yeah. I already called
all her contacts.
322
00:11:03,688 --> 00:11:05,295
They're doing the same
thing, all right?
323
00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:06,888
They're all coming to
my surprise party
324
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:08,454
that I'm throwing at Monkey Fist.
325
00:11:08,523 --> 00:11:09,994
But the one
at the beach sounds better.
326
00:11:10,063 --> 00:11:10,978
Okay.
327
00:11:11,195 --> 00:11:13,052
There is no party at the beach, Mott.
328
00:11:13,126 --> 00:11:15,560
I'm squashing it, all right?
Mine's gonna be awesome.
329
00:11:15,629 --> 00:11:17,745
Besides, I got Rootger Deejaying.
330
00:11:17,814 --> 00:11:18,848
You're a Deejay?
331
00:11:18,917 --> 00:11:20,240
Yeah. Here, I'm Rootger.
332
00:11:20,309 --> 00:11:22,221
But in Holland,
I'm MC Root...
333
00:11:22,647 --> 00:11:23,888
The man who makes the party...
334
00:11:23,957 --> 00:11:26,568
a wicked-good time.
335
00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:29,041
Wouldn't it just be easier
336
00:11:29,110 --> 00:11:30,708
to let Vanessa plan
her own party?
337
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:31,724
Then you'd be off the hook.
338
00:11:31,793 --> 00:11:33,529
No. I put in a lot of
work for this, all right?
339
00:11:33,598 --> 00:11:34,615
I-I bought all the food.
340
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:36,560
I got the decorations and stuff.
341
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,529
I did all this stuff out of
the kindness of my heart.
342
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:40,331
I'm getting credit for it.
That's what I'm doing.
343
00:11:40,424 --> 00:11:42,784
I need you guys to just come
up with an excuse, all right?
344
00:11:42,853 --> 00:11:44,758
- That's all I'm asking.
- Oh, I'm not good at lying.
345
00:11:44,827 --> 00:11:46,446
I start sweating like crazy.
346
00:11:46,516 --> 00:11:48,133
Okay, you sweat like crazy
anyway.
347
00:11:48,202 --> 00:11:50,362
You're gonna be fine.
She's not gonna know.
348
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:52,938
You know, Vanessa tried calling
me three times today, and...
349
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:55,782
Man, just to see her
face on that screen
350
00:11:55,969 --> 00:11:58,649
and me having to ignore the call...
tough.
351
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,649
You have a picture of
her on your phone?
352
00:12:00,718 --> 00:12:01,860
Yeah, I took a quick shot of her
353
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:03,622
when she dozed off
on Thanksgiving.
354
00:12:04,864 --> 00:12:06,196
All right, here she comes.
355
00:12:06,265 --> 00:12:07,266
- Hey! Hey!
- Hey! Hey!
356
00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:08,893
- How's it going? All right?
- Left your phone at the office.
357
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,649
- Oh, thank you. Hey...
- You're welcome.
358
00:12:10,718 --> 00:12:11,860
How's the party planning going?
359
00:12:11,929 --> 00:12:12,985
Oh, my... Awful.
360
00:12:13,195 --> 00:12:14,446
Whaaaat?!
361
00:12:14,515 --> 00:12:17,423
Yes, everybody I invited
can't come.
362
00:12:18,183 --> 00:12:19,511
That is so disappointing.
363
00:12:19,580 --> 00:12:20,680
I-I mean, I gotta tell you,
364
00:12:20,749 --> 00:12:22,328
we'll... we'll be there, right, boys?
365
00:12:22,781 --> 00:12:25,188
Um, actually, I can't make it.
366
00:12:25,257 --> 00:12:27,053
Didi and I have
a wedding to attend.
367
00:12:27,150 --> 00:12:28,978
- Whaaat?
- I know.
368
00:12:29,132 --> 00:12:30,509
I, uh... I can't go, either.
369
00:12:30,578 --> 00:12:32,191
Oh, God, it's so hot in here.
370
00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:34,275
Rootger, what about you?
371
00:12:34,491 --> 00:12:35,783
I'm so sorry. I can't.
372
00:12:35,852 --> 00:12:36,923
I have to go back to the doctor.
373
00:12:36,992 --> 00:12:38,745
That thing on my toe came back.
374
00:12:38,995 --> 00:12:40,024
What?
375
00:12:40,308 --> 00:12:41,572
You guys are unbelievable.
376
00:12:41,641 --> 00:12:42,813
Yeah, really!
I mean,
377
00:12:42,882 --> 00:12:44,487
it's like, every
time you need me,
378
00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:46,609
- I'm there.
- Every time.
379
00:12:46,678 --> 00:12:47,729
And then,
380
00:12:47,798 --> 00:12:49,548
when it's my birthday,
my party...
381
00:12:49,617 --> 00:12:50,821
- Yeah.
- Everybody's busy.
382
00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:52,104
Exactly. You sicken me.
383
00:12:52,173 --> 00:12:54,581
You sicken-a me to the
height of sickenness.
384
00:12:55,521 --> 00:12:56,579
Just unbelievable.
385
00:12:56,646 --> 00:12:57,843
Don't even worry about them.
I'll be there.
386
00:12:57,912 --> 00:12:58,915
Yeah, not cool, guys.
387
00:12:58,984 --> 00:13:00,124
- I'll be there for you, too, Vanessa.
- Yeah.
388
00:13:00,193 --> 00:13:01,562
No, no.
Thank you, but forg...
389
00:13:01,631 --> 00:13:02,775
I'm just gonna cancel the party.
390
00:13:02,844 --> 00:13:05,062
We'll just go back to the
dinner thing, all right?
391
00:13:05,131 --> 00:13:06,609
I-I guess that's probably
best now.
392
00:13:06,721 --> 00:13:08,054
All right,
I'll see you guys later.
393
00:13:08,123 --> 00:13:09,968
- All right.
- All right.Geez.
394
00:13:10,575 --> 00:13:11,875
All right, good job, boys.
395
00:13:11,944 --> 00:13:13,075
You made us look like idiots.
396
00:13:13,142 --> 00:13:14,507
Not cool, guy.
397
00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:16,105
What, are you sure you
want to do this to her?
398
00:13:16,187 --> 00:13:17,250
Once we all yell "Surprise,"
399
00:13:17,319 --> 00:13:19,005
all the pain goes away, all right?
400
00:13:19,094 --> 00:13:20,857
It's exactly like
I did with my kids.
401
00:13:20,973 --> 00:13:22,780
I'd make them think
I forgot their birthday.
402
00:13:22,849 --> 00:13:24,602
And then once they saw
the balloons
403
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:27,273
and the prizes and
stuff, all good times.
404
00:13:27,342 --> 00:13:29,546
Except that one time I did
actually forget Jack's.
405
00:13:29,615 --> 00:13:30,637
And that was tough.
406
00:13:30,706 --> 00:13:31,734
Technically,
he never turned eight.
407
00:13:31,803 --> 00:13:33,151
Never turned eight.
408
00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:36,427
Hey.
Here you go, buddy.
409
00:13:36,504 --> 00:13:38,037
Take that for me.
How it's going, Rootger?
410
00:13:38,106 --> 00:13:39,332
You know the routine?
You got it down?
411
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:41,244
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Vanessa comes in.
412
00:13:41,313 --> 00:13:44,645
House lights go up.
Then we all yell "Surprise""
413
00:13:44,745 --> 00:13:46,762
I hit the music, and then
I hit the light show.
414
00:13:46,832 --> 00:13:48,262
Okay.
Light show?
415
00:13:48,507 --> 00:13:50,320
Oh! Ho, ho, hhho!
416
00:13:50,661 --> 00:13:53,617
Ha-ha! Light show, baby!
417
00:13:53,706 --> 00:13:55,301
Whoo! All right, all right, all
right, all right, all right.
418
00:13:55,370 --> 00:13:57,478
Turn it off,
Deejay Lite-Brite.
419
00:13:58,301 --> 00:14:00,239
Ah, way to suck out the fun.
420
00:14:00,316 --> 00:14:01,849
- Come on!
- Hi, Dad.
421
00:14:01,918 --> 00:14:03,551
Uh, so, guests are gonna
start arriving any minute.
422
00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:04,879
Maybe you should go
pick up Vanessa.
423
00:14:04,948 --> 00:14:06,863
No, it's... it's okay.
I got Kyle getting her.
424
00:14:06,965 --> 00:14:08,426
I wanted to make sure
everything was in order
425
00:14:08,495 --> 00:14:09,785
- over here.
- Wait, what?
426
00:14:09,854 --> 00:14:11,293
No, I thought you were
taking her to dinner
427
00:14:11,362 --> 00:14:12,738
and then bringing her here yourself.
428
00:14:12,807 --> 00:14:15,215
It's okay. I told Kyle to tell
her that my car broke down.
429
00:14:15,284 --> 00:14:17,332
Oh, crafty lie, Mr. Gable.
430
00:14:17,401 --> 00:14:19,116
Using your brother as a
little misdirection.
431
00:14:19,185 --> 00:14:20,590
Mm, exactly.
432
00:14:20,666 --> 00:14:22,025
No, Dad.
433
00:14:22,189 --> 00:14:23,330
What if she gets really upset,
434
00:14:23,399 --> 00:14:24,395
and she's gonna think
that you ditched her,
435
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:25,387
and then, if she just goes home,
436
00:14:25,456 --> 00:14:26,887
this entire thing is ruined.
437
00:14:26,956 --> 00:14:28,926
Okay, relax, all right?
The guy's messed up a lot,
438
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,794
but even Kyle can handle this.
439
00:14:32,141 --> 00:14:34,131
So, first, nobody wanted
to come to my party,
440
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:37,201
and now your brother... the
only friend I have left...
441
00:14:37,393 --> 00:14:38,751
Stands me up.
442
00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:41,809
You know, I think I'm just...
443
00:14:41,878 --> 00:14:43,131
I'm just gonna go home.
I'm gonna just go.
444
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,053
- No, no. No, he... h-he'll be here.
- Okay...
445
00:14:45,122 --> 00:14:46,692
- Trust me.
- He's over an hour late.
446
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,122
Obviously, it's not
that important to him.
447
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:49,196
It is. It is.
448
00:14:49,265 --> 00:14:50,597
It isn't! I mean,
it really...
449
00:14:50,774 --> 00:14:51,981
It just stings
when you realize,
450
00:14:52,050 --> 00:14:53,437
like, you really are
alone in the world.
451
00:14:53,531 --> 00:14:54,535
Yeah, I know. I know.
452
00:14:54,604 --> 00:14:56,226
I-I feel the same way.
453
00:14:56,746 --> 00:14:57,973
All the time.
454
00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:01,122
See, Kyle, you do get it.
455
00:15:01,241 --> 00:15:03,232
All right, well, then here's to life
456
00:15:03,314 --> 00:15:04,450
sucking a bowl of lemons.
457
00:15:04,608 --> 00:15:06,661
Ah, salud! Salud.
458
00:15:07,676 --> 00:15:08,739
Mm.
459
00:15:08,821 --> 00:15:10,615
You know, I always thought
I was better than you,
460
00:15:10,684 --> 00:15:13,990
and... the truth is, I'm...
I'm really not.
461
00:15:14,324 --> 00:15:15,903
- But... But you are better than me.
- A little bit.
462
00:15:15,972 --> 00:15:17,559
A little bit, but not a ton.
463
00:15:18,011 --> 00:15:20,435
Not a ton
that I thought.
464
00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:23,083
But you are here celebrating
my birthday with me,
465
00:15:23,152 --> 00:15:24,109
so thank you.
466
00:15:24,386 --> 00:15:25,496
You're welcome.
467
00:15:25,681 --> 00:15:28,169
You know, if you...
If you turn your head
468
00:15:28,281 --> 00:15:29,942
slightly towards the light
469
00:15:30,011 --> 00:15:31,216
and the light hits you
just right...
470
00:15:31,285 --> 00:15:34,487
And it has to hit you
just right...
471
00:15:36,299 --> 00:15:38,026
you're actually kind of cute.
472
00:15:38,712 --> 00:15:39,948
What's, uh...
473
00:15:40,232 --> 00:15:41,850
W-What's... What's going on here?
474
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:46,293
Is that Kevin?
475
00:15:46,477 --> 00:15:48,027
I don't know who that is.
476
00:15:53,846 --> 00:15:55,721
Look, I don't... I don't
know where this is going,
477
00:15:55,790 --> 00:15:57,518
but if we do kiss, full transparency,
478
00:15:57,598 --> 00:15:59,315
I have a wicked nose whistle.
479
00:16:00,268 --> 00:16:01,737
Kiss? We're not gonna kiss.
480
00:16:01,857 --> 00:16:03,635
And it's not
because of a nose whistle.
481
00:16:03,704 --> 00:16:05,588
Is it my bulgy eyes?
'Cause I'll have them fixed.
482
00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:07,659
No! Stop it! It's not your eyes.
483
00:16:07,728 --> 00:16:08,775
Well, what is it, then?
484
00:16:08,844 --> 00:16:10,166
I-I want to get back
to that moment.
485
00:16:10,278 --> 00:16:11,326
Tell me. I'll do anything.
486
00:16:11,395 --> 00:16:12,869
Kyle, it wasn't anything.
487
00:16:12,938 --> 00:16:14,338
- What are you doing?
- Oh, not now, guy.
488
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,041
We're in the middle of something
here, huh? Take a lap.
489
00:16:16,110 --> 00:16:17,992
No, we are not in the
middle of anything!
490
00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:20,335
Ugh! Unbelievable.
491
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,627
Look, uh, come on.
We... We got to go.
492
00:16:22,696 --> 00:16:24,424
The alarm went off at Money Fist,
and I want to make sure
493
00:16:24,493 --> 00:16:26,031
- everything's... Okay. Yes.
- Oh, really? Okay.
494
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:28,174
You and Rootger handle it, okay?
I'm just gonna go home.
495
00:16:28,243 --> 00:16:29,532
- No, I need you.
- You need me?
496
00:16:29,601 --> 00:16:30,931
I just want this day to end.
497
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:31,940
It's been one of the
worst days of my life.
498
00:16:32,009 --> 00:16:33,551
So, I-I didn't forget
your birthday, okay?
499
00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:35,248
I sent Kyle in here to keep you busy
500
00:16:35,317 --> 00:16:37,842
so you wouldn't ruin the surprise.
501
00:16:39,068 --> 00:16:40,112
Surprise?
502
00:16:40,181 --> 00:16:41,205
Yes.
503
00:16:41,274 --> 00:16:43,235
Look, I've been planning
this thing for a week.
504
00:16:43,434 --> 00:16:45,143
I wanted to do something special
for your birthday, that's all.
505
00:16:45,212 --> 00:16:47,471
Wait. So, you had my
friends cancel on me?
506
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:48,812
I did.
507
00:16:49,726 --> 00:16:52,565
Okay, do you know how
devastating that could've been?
508
00:16:52,673 --> 00:16:53,682
All right, what do...
509
00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:56,002
I'm sorry.
I-I-I just wanted to do...
510
00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:57,721
something special
for your birthday.
511
00:16:57,790 --> 00:16:58,830
That's all.
512
00:16:58,899 --> 00:17:01,624
Oh, wow,
you really threw me a party?
513
00:17:01,748 --> 00:17:03,628
Yes! And...
And everybody's waiting.
514
00:17:03,697 --> 00:17:05,333
So, come on, let's go!
515
00:17:06,023 --> 00:17:07,565
I got it. Is it my teeth?
516
00:17:07,634 --> 00:17:09,868
Because if it is, don't worry.
They're not even mine.
517
00:17:09,937 --> 00:17:11,144
These babies pop right out.
518
00:17:11,213 --> 00:17:12,683
You know, it's like a
one-piece bridge.
519
00:17:12,752 --> 00:17:14,331
Click-click, gone.
520
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:21,002
Looks like Rootger forgot
to leave the lights on.
521
00:17:21,078 --> 00:17:22,102
Yeah.
522
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,406
Surprise!
523
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,191
What?!
524
00:17:26,273 --> 00:17:28,885
I am so surprised!
525
00:17:29,045 --> 00:17:30,893
This is me so surprised!
526
00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:33,254
Uh, take it...
take it down a notch.
527
00:17:33,323 --> 00:17:35,593
Little less ham on that sandwich, okay?
528
00:17:35,662 --> 00:17:37,987
Well, thank you, everybody!
529
00:17:38,056 --> 00:17:39,904
Hi!
Oh, this is so sweet.
530
00:17:39,973 --> 00:17:40,842
- Thank you.
- Ah.
531
00:17:40,911 --> 00:17:42,513
- It's what partners do. All right?
- Aww!
532
00:17:42,582 --> 00:17:43,764
All right.
533
00:17:43,966 --> 00:17:45,155
Ah!
534
00:17:45,263 --> 00:17:47,955
- For you!
- Oh, you're so sweet.
535
00:17:48,024 --> 00:17:49,352
- Hey!
- Hey!
536
00:17:49,419 --> 00:17:53,546
A Cellucci Sunrise for
the birthday girl!
537
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:57,453
Oh, you remembered.
Thank you so much.
538
00:17:57,561 --> 00:17:59,032
Oh, my gosh.
539
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:01,906
I'll take another one.
540
00:18:01,975 --> 00:18:04,048
Oh. Already?
541
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:07,753
I got seven kids and a giant
husband with sleep apnea.
542
00:18:07,822 --> 00:18:10,891
Every night, he straps that
mask on his big, fat face,
543
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,890
giant cheeks
falling out the sides,
544
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,445
snoring and vibrating.
545
00:18:14,522 --> 00:18:20,751
Bottom line...
This glass never gets empty.
546
00:18:21,745 --> 00:18:26,494
Well, I guess I can cross
Hawaii off my bucket list!
547
00:18:26,685 --> 00:18:28,313
Well, there's actually
something else
548
00:18:28,382 --> 00:18:29,424
you can cross off.
549
00:18:29,493 --> 00:18:31,547
Antonio Banderas is here?
550
00:18:32,656 --> 00:18:34,438
Yeah, no. I wish. Oh.
551
00:18:34,507 --> 00:18:35,782
Okay, Rootger, hit it.
552
00:18:35,851 --> 00:18:38,001
Oh. What's going on?
553
00:18:40,374 --> 00:18:44,335
♪ Mm, never meant to
cause you any sorrow ♪
554
00:18:46,552 --> 00:18:52,647
♪ Mm, never meant to
cause you any pain ♪
555
00:18:54,364 --> 00:19:01,561
♪ I only want to see you
dancing in that purple rain ♪
556
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,635
- ♪ Purple rain ♪
- ♪ Purple rain ♪
557
00:19:03,806 --> 00:19:05,843
- ♪ Purple rain ♪
- ♪ Purple rain ♪
558
00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:12,055
- ♪ Purple rain ♪
- ♪ Purple rain ♪
559
00:19:12,124 --> 00:19:14,680
- ♪ Purple rain ♪
- ♪ Purple rain ♪
560
00:19:17,294 --> 00:19:24,539
♪ I only want to see you
laughing in the purple rain ♪
561
00:19:24,719 --> 00:19:27,285
- ♪ Purple... ♪
- ♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪
562
00:19:27,354 --> 00:19:29,762
♪ At the Monkey Fist ♪
563
00:19:33,099 --> 00:19:36,613
♪ Vanessa's birthday ♪
564
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:41,347
♪ Well, Kevin Gable pulled it off ♪
565
00:19:41,508 --> 00:19:44,583
♪ She's 47 ♪
566
00:19:44,652 --> 00:19:45,773
♪ 41 ♪
567
00:19:45,842 --> 00:19:48,520
♪ Sorry about that part ♪
568
00:19:48,677 --> 00:19:50,802
♪ Mm-hmm ♪
569
00:19:53,482 --> 00:19:55,169
Whoo!
570
00:19:57,492 --> 00:19:59,183
Whew.
571
00:19:59,503 --> 00:20:01,255
Powerful.
572
00:20:15,997 --> 00:20:19,185
Bucket list almost complete.
573
00:20:32,846 --> 00:20:35,484
Bucket list complete.
574
00:20:35,997 --> 00:20:38,344
Hoo-ahh.
575
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:48,391
♪♪
41713
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