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♪ Terrible Tudors, gorgeous
Georgians, slimy Stuarts,
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00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,680
♪ Vile Victorians woeful wars,
ferocious fights
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00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:07,080
♪ Dingy castles, daring knights
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00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:08,360
♪ Horrors that defy description
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00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:09,800
♪ Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
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00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:11,200
♪ Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes
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00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:12,560
♪ Punishment from ancient times
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00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:13,760
♪ Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless
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00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:15,720
♪ Cavemen savage, fierce
and toothless
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00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:16,960
♪ Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
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00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:18,120
♪ Mean and measly Middle Ages
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00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:20,840
♪ Gory stories, we do that
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00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,360
♪ And your host, a talking rat
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00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,440
♪ The past is no longer a mystery
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00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:27,600
♪ Welcome to...
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00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:32,040
♪ Horrible Histories. ♪
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Horrible Histories presents...
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The toilets are overflowing,
the fleas are jumping
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00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:43,840
and the Squeakend are about to
play on the rat stage,
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00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:47,200
it may stink like a number two but
this is the number one
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00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:48,840
historical music festival.
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Organised by yours truly,
yes, welcome to welcome to
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00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:57,200
Horrible Histories, Glastonsmelly.
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00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:58,680
CHEERING
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00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,480
We've got Scratchit, we've got
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00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:05,040
grime, by which I mean actual grime,
it is filthy here.
27
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,960
And we've got a gangster
vibe on our 1920s stage,
28
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:15,200
all the way from Chicago,
he's a real smooth criminal.
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00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,600
Al Capone.
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00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:20,960
♪ Government, introduce,
alcohol prohibition
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00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:25,240
♪ So up in Chicago, I begin a
grand crime mission
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00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,920
♪ Stealing goods in the hood
my business on the rise
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00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:34,000
♪ Illegal drink, avoid the clink,
because I'm organised
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00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:38,040
♪ They said you're bad but I said,
"strictly business"
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00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:41,720
♪ They claimed, you rob, but my good
friends bear witness
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00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:46,480
♪ All pure with innocent names like
golf bag, camel and tinsel
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00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:51,040
♪ Killer enforcer machinegun, nicer
guys you couldn't hope to meet
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00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:54,480
♪ Local laws, I abide, do as told
by police tribes
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00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,760
♪ Especially since they
take my bribes
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00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:01,080
♪ Cos Al Capone gonna sell it to ya,
downtown punk gonna flog it to ya
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00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:05,400
♪ Gangsta Al gonna flog you too,
Saturday night and daytime too
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00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,280
♪ Like to buy a nice watch?
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00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:15,320
♪ Downtown threat, that's me
In my debt you'll be
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00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,240
♪ The law didn't last
cos the government lost their funk
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00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:19,640
♪ They drowned in drink
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00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,000
♪ But I kept my head
sold milk instead,
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00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,680
♪ Full throttle kept me in the pink
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00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:26,760
♪ When the milk went off it made a
stink, so did I
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00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,760
♪ And my desire, was to force them
to put on a sell by date
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00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:32,160
♪ Or my friends would help
them expire
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00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,400
♪ Tough guy scar on my face
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♪ Sent to jail on an income tax case
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♪ And history secures my final place
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00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,840
♪ As the man who bought you the
sell by date
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♪ Can't believe it's gone off. ♪
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00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,960
Ah, there's some banging beats
here at Glastonsmelly,
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and that's just the stone age kids,
they love rock music.
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Ha, get it, stone age, rock music.
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Suit yourself.
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00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,400
Oh! Ha-ha, sorry, no autographs
today, mate.
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00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,600
No, no, I'm Brad, Brad Simpson,
you booked me today.
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00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,080
Oh, yeah, thank
goodness you're here,
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00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:08,040
the toilet pits have been
blocked for hours,
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00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:10,720
and before you ask, "Why have you
got toilets? You live in a sewer."
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00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,440
We rats have got some standards,
you know.
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00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:17,040
So dive in and sort it out
before the Vikings block them again.
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00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,040
Yeah, no, it's just I'm with
the Vamps, the band.
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00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:21,200
The Vamps? Yes, yeah.
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00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,880
What are they, like, Vlad the
Impaler's backing band, are they?
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00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,640
No, no, we're, er...
we're like a guitar modern band.
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00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,920
Oh, a guitar modern band,
a guitar modern band.
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Well, we're strictly
historical bands only, mate.
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00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,080
But I'll see what I can do.
In the meantime,
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00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,960
you happy to muck in, are ya?
I can do, if you need me to, yeah.
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00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:42,040
Perfect, the muck's over there,
so if you could grab a plunger,
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00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,360
and dive in. A plunger?
Yeah, off you go.
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00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:47,200
You wouldn't get this
on the McFly tour.
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00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:50,080
Right, let's check out
what's on the Renaissance stage.
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00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,360
A total legend is about to go on,
one of the biggest
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00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:56,640
headliners in history,
performing his greatest hit.
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Give it up for Leonardo Da Vinci,
featuring Mona Lisa.
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00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:05,760
♪ Hello, it's-a-me
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♪ The most famous-est
painting in history
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00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:17,720
♪ Ten million see me every year,
not hanging in the loo
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00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:20,240
♪ But in the Louvre here
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00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:24,760
♪ Hello, it's a me, from the other
side of that you see
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00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,560
♪ I'm Lisa Garadini who
posed for this
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♪ My husband wants a portrait of
his Mrs
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00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,840
♪ I modelled at the start then the
story gets shady
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00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:38,280
♪ Under her is painted another
Mona lady
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00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:42,320
♪ Is this picture me or someone like
me? Is this Lisa Misa?
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00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,800
♪ It's a mystery
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00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,840
♪ Though my husband was the owner,
was there another Mona?
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00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:48,440
♪ No one knows the real history
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00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,640
♪ Hello, it's me
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00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:56,720
♪ I'm the one they call the
cold Da Vinci
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00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,160
♪ Not just an artist
I'm a procrastinator
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00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:02,160
♪ If you don't know what that means
then I will tell you later
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00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:08,680
♪ Hello, Raphael my student's going
to copy this and make a sale
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00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,560
♪ This painting is
incredibly profound
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00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:14,680
♪ Please stop those eyes
following me around
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00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:18,400
♪ Her enigmatic smile a
visual delight
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00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:21,040
♪ You think so? Nah, still not
quite right
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00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:24,720
♪ Pictures not good enough
for someone like me
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00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:27,080
♪ For 15 years those hands have been
bothering me
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00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,440
♪ Though my legacy will
last I may be great
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00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:30,520
♪ But I'm not fast
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00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:32,920
♪ And you wonder why I lived
in poverty
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00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,760
♪ Patience, one day this great
work of art
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00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,440
♪ Will hang in the bedroom
of Bonaparte
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00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:44,160
♪ Most expensive pic of all,
you better believe it
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00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,200
♪ People going to vandalise, forge
and steal it
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00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:50,000
♪ If I wanted it back
what must I bid?
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♪ I'm a said to be worth one and
a half billion quid
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00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,320
♪ What! Then I was stolen because
someone liked me
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00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,120
♪ That was when I
gained notoriety
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00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,760
♪ Peaceful life ends been attacked
by red paint
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00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,840
♪ Now bullet proof
glass protects me.♪
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00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,600
Hey, what do you think of old
Leonardo Da Vinci
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00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,520
and the Mona Lisa there?
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00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,760
I thought it was very, very good,
a lovely rendition.
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00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:17,480
So, er, how did you get on with
unblocking the loo? Fine, yeah.
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00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,520
Yeah, cos I think
Henry VII might be
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00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:25,240
about to block it again. You, er...
you introduce the next act.
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Sorry about this.
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00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:28,400
Oi, your royal trumpiness.
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00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,480
Time for a super scary super group
made up of four of history's
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00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,400
most feared and ruthless war lords.
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00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:38,560
Vlad the Impaler, Attila the
Hun, Genghis Khan and Shaka Zulu,
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00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:42,800
they got to number one by brutally
murdering hundreds of people
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00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,920
so if you don't like the tune,
probably best not to mention it.
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00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,560
Let's rock!
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00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:08,080
♪ Vlad the Impaler,
Attila the Hun
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00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,880
♪ Genghis Khan, or Carnage
to my chums
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00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:17,320
♪ Diplomacy? Was not a fan
But when it comes to killing
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00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,200
♪ Shaka can!
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00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:24,200
♪ Smite my enemies, hence, impaler
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00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:28,520
♪ I like to have them on a stake
with mint and oil
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00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,960
♪ I eat flesh of wolves, Atilla Hun
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00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:35,040
♪ Smashed up countries before
breakfast begun
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00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:40,920
♪ We were the war lords from hell,
specialised in death
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00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,400
♪ And pure evil
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00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:51,280
♪ The war lords of hell, found in
the dictionary under evil
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00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:55,520
♪ Try to torture us, lock up
your daughter-ors
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00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,880
♪ War lords from hell
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00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:04,120
♪ 7,000, I had to snuff
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00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:08,360
♪ Because when my mummy died they
didn't cry enough
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00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:12,480
♪ On rampages through villages
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00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:17,040
♪ 60,000 killed by
pillages and stone
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00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,520
♪ My Huns terrorise
the Roman Empire
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00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:22,120
♪ I killed a million of them,
oh, to expire
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00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:28,560
♪ Mongol kingdom stretched
Europe to China
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00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:31,480
♪ I must have killed 40 million
Could have gone higher
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00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:35,600
♪ We are the war lords from hell
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00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,320
♪ Killed my bro
Mine tried to kill me
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00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,240
♪ They wish!
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♪ The war lords from hell
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00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,320
♪ Kill my brother who wouldn't give
back my fish
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00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:52,320
♪ People thought I inspired the
story of Dracula
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00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:56,440
♪ Not killed by stakes through
hearts, but deaths still spectacular
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00:08:56,440 --> 00:09:00,160
♪ Then while out hunting,
I fell off my horse
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00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:04,200
♪ Killed by those pesky half
siblings, of course
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00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,360
♪ Tough guy Attila, you
died in a fight
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00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,720
♪ I died? ♪
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00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,160
Yes?
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00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:14,640
Nosebleed on my wedding night.
You OK, hun?
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00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,760
It's was a really bad one, actually.
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00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:21,920
♪ We were the war lords from Hell
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00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,040
♪ All that's left of your town
is bad tempers
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00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:27,760
♪ Welcome departs
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00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,720
♪ We're as bad as it got
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00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:35,800
♪ War Lords...
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00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:46,040
♪ From Hell! ♪
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00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:49,800
Hello, I am Shaka, most
famous of the Zulu kings who ruled
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00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,720
the vast area of Africa
in the 19th century.
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But I have a sensitive side too.
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00:09:56,000 --> 00:10:00,080
I was a bit of a mummy's boy,
more than a bit actually.
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00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,240
When my mother died
I was really upset.
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00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,440
It was a perfectly normal reaction.
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00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:12,000
Who wouldn't shed a tear,
who wouldn't scream in anguish,
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00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:16,480
who wouldn't make 15,000 other
Zulus also scream in anguish,
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00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,080
who wouldn't?
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00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:22,040
Well? What else did I do
because I was sad about my mummy?
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00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:28,080
Did I...?
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00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,320
The answer is A,
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00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:40,400
and B,
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00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:43,160
and C, it's what she would
have wanted, probably, maybe.
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00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,440
Actually now I think about it,
189
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,680
it's possible I may have
slightly overreacted.
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00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,240
Nah.
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00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:57,280
That lot laid waste to half
the known world.
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00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,600
Do you like heavy rock, Brad?
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00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,920
I'm partial to a bit of heavy
rock, yes.
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00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,560
It's a good job too,
there's some stones
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00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:05,600
and debris over there that
need shifting.
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00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,840
See, I was thinking
I could play next, is that...?
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00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:12,600
Well, yeah, we'll see
if we can squeeze you in after this,
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00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:16,400
because it's time for Danish solo
Artist Peter Freuchen,
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00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,400
he nearly froze to death
in Greenland
200
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,640
after getting trapped alone
in the snow.
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00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:24,880
Well, I say alone, he did have help
escaping from a little friend,
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00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:26,080
you won't believe this.
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00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,520
VOICEOVER: Trapped in a snow storm.
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00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:32,360
With no way out, arctic explorer
Peter Freuchen will take
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00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,280
human engineering to the
limit and beyond.
206
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:40,800
If I could just squeeze out a poo,
I could make a frozen chisel
207
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:46,640
and dig my way to freedom.
208
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:50,240
It's a true story, it's a poo story,
it will warm you heart
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00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:51,720
and open your bottom.
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00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,000
Frozen Freuchen.
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00:11:55,680 --> 00:12:02,240
♪ Let it go, let it go,
can't hold it in anymore
212
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:08,560
♪ Let it go, let it go, let it curl
up on the floor
213
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:14,080
♪ I've been trapped for several
hours underneath all this snow
214
00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:18,560
♪ And maybe it's the frostbite
talking and the lack of air too
215
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:23,400
♪ Say goodbye to the
cold and the ice
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00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:31,400
♪ We don't have to stay here
anymore, I'm going to make a door
217
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,520
♪ I'm going to make a door with
you, with me,
218
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,600
♪ With you, with poo,
that's me, with poo
219
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,240
♪ I'm going to make a door. ♪
220
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:45,280
Can I say something crazy,
will you marry me?
221
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:50,960
Can I say something even crazier?
You are talking to a poo.
222
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,040
Frozen Freuchen, coming soon,
223
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:56,840
although I'd probably give it five
minutes if I were you.
224
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:02,080
Hello there, Scott of the Antarctic
here just trying to
225
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,880
make my way back
from my trip to the South Pole.
226
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:08,400
It's taking a while because we have
to drag everything ourselves,
227
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:12,360
Norwegian chap beat me to it
using dogs to pull his sleds.
228
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:15,720
We used mainly ponies
but they didn't work so well,
229
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:17,040
can you tell me why?
230
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:20,680
Did they...
231
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,240
The answer is...
232
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:37,400
B, they were attacked by
killer whales, yes.
233
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:41,040
They fell into the water
and were encircled by the beasts.
234
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,480
Terrifying.
235
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,600
I have to be honest, as trips go,
236
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:47,680
this expedition to the South Pole
has been a bit of a disaster.
237
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:50,560
Should have gone
sunbathing in Spain.
238
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:54,360
Poor captain Scott, he never did
make it back from the Antarctic.
239
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:57,680
But Freuchen really did dig himself
out of the snow
240
00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:00,160
with a frozen poo,
a frozen poo, Brad.
241
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:06,040
I bet you never thought you'd hear
a rat on network television
242
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:07,480
saying that, did ya?
243
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,640
Now that's what I call,
wait for it...
244
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,840
A lolliplop, a lolliplop!
Ha-ha!
245
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:17,840
See, that is amazing, erm,
but I'm dying to play at the moment.
246
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:21,400
Speaking of dying, these next three
have saved more lives
247
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,120
than almost everyone else
put together.
248
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:27,240
Give it up for the healing
sounds of vaccinations.
249
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:32,320
♪ I'm Edward Jenner and I was told
250
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:35,040
♪ Maids who got cow pox once
251
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:39,840
♪ Never had another episode
252
00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:45,400
♪ So I injected James Phipps with
a strain
253
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,840
♪ He didn't catch small pox
254
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,160
♪ He was as right as rain
255
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:56,840
♪ I gave him inoculation
256
00:14:56,840 --> 00:15:02,720
♪ Despite some protestation was the
first vaccination
257
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,920
♪ Led to his rehabilitation
258
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:12,520
♪ Imagine my elation at my
medical creation
259
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:18,720
♪ And so my vaccination led
to experimentation
260
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:23,600
♪ By me, Louis Pasteur,
if you please
261
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:27,520
♪ Thought if that works surely
you can vaccinate
262
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:31,320
♪ Against all disease
263
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:35,680
♪ So I injected cholera into a hen
264
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:41,280
♪ Turns out I was right,
it lived to lay eggs again
265
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:48,640
♪ I gave him immunisation
266
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:51,600
♪ It was a made up inoculation
267
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:57,520
♪ Bit like my vaccination but
with a modification
268
00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:03,040
♪ Turns out its application was a
medical transformation
269
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:09,640
♪ It was culmination of a
scientific dedication
270
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:18,440
♪ Alexander Fleming
I invented penicillin
271
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,760
♪ Accidentally, like all the
best discoveries
272
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:31,400
♪ Him and him, and me, saved more
lives than anyone in history
273
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:36,400
♪ End disease that's killing with
vaccinations and penicillin
274
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:43,920
♪ We gave you vaccination
Penicillin and immunisation
275
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:47,040
♪ We gave you vaccination
276
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:50,040
♪ Penicillin and immunisation
277
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:53,640
♪ We gave you vaccination
278
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,920
♪ Penicillin and immunisation
279
00:16:55,920 --> 00:17:02,560
♪ We left the world much cheerier,
by dealing with bad bacteria. ♪
280
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,880
Wow, they were a sight for sore
eyes, and sore ears,
281
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,000
and sore throats and sore bums.
282
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,880
Oh, Brad, getting into the blues.
283
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:17,440
No, this was the Celtic
face painters, actually.
284
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:18,880
Look, when can I go on?
285
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,640
Oh, soon, Brad, soon, soon.
286
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,120
But remember it's an historical
music festival.
287
00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:27,400
Do you by any chance play
the harpsichord?
288
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,520
No. Bone Flute? No.
289
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:33,040
Can you get a tune
out of your sackbut?
290
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,120
I haven't tried.
291
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,800
Look, I'll find you a slot
somehow, you go
292
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:43,720
and wait at the Victorian stage,
the next act is going to be epic.
293
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,000
Oh, Brad, that's going to bruise.
294
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,040
Yeah, she's the world's most
famous nurse,
295
00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:52,040
the fabulous Florence Nightingale.
296
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,200
♪ Because, you see, it's all about
this base, about this base
297
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,520
♪ Nobody's healed
298
00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:01,200
♪ This hospital's a waste of space,
worse than the battlefield
299
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,560
♪ It's all about this nurse,
made it less worse,
300
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,960
♪ So we all hail the lady
with the lamp
301
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,480
♪ Me, Florence Nightingale
302
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,640
♪ Don't like red painted walls
303
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,360
♪ That's blood, ma'am
Ooh, er
304
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:15,920
♪ Probably doesn't help
you've built this on a sewer
305
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,720
♪ Those rations good at killing
our men in Crimea
306
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:22,040
♪ But not half as good as this place
central station diarrhoea
307
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:25,760
♪ First I brought in some towels
so when emptying their bowels
308
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,480
♪ Then at least their botties
were clean
309
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:29,720
♪ Isn't funny
310
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,400
♪ Help them get off their backs
311
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:35,440
♪ Offering tasty fresh snacks
in the hospital canteen
312
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:36,760
♪ Yummy, yummy
313
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,760
♪ Took one look at the squalor
314
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:42,800
♪ And cases of cholera,
sores and dysentery
315
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:43,960
♪ Poorly tummy
316
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:45,640
♪ And then here's the surprise
317
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:49,880
♪ Bought the stolen supplies
back with my own money
318
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,400
♪ Because, you see, it's all about
this base, about this base
319
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,600
♪ Don't get annoyed
I'll get a brand-new pillowcase
320
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,280
♪ Clear all trace of typhoid
321
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,880
♪ It's all about this nurse,
fortunes reversed
322
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,480
♪ At the double, helping soldiers
feel less worse
323
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,280
♪ Don't need a hearse
No trouble
324
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:07,000
♪ Took my light round at night
325
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:11,240
♪ Checked the men were all right
and not suffering too much pain
326
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:12,680
♪ Feeling peaky
327
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,200
♪ Most of all I was spying
328
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:18,440
♪ Check nurses weren't lying
but doing what they were saying
329
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:19,680
♪ Pretty sneaky
330
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:23,120
♪ I ensured that the kitchen
dished out good nutrition
331
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:26,720
♪ And everyone got enough
Bubble and squeak in
332
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:30,200
♪ And found that out over time
that the deaths did decline
333
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,080
♪ Turns out she sure knows her stuff
334
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:37,920
♪ Because it's all about this base,
about this base, sanitation
335
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:41,160
♪ All about control
of disease incubation
336
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,760
♪ Yes, it's all about this nurse
337
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,560
♪ And how she turned her abhorrence
of this curse
338
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,240
♪ Into a cleaner universe
339
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:48,800
♪ Cheers, Florence. ♪
340
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,880
Hello, I'm Florence Nightingale.
341
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,840
MEOWING
What's that?
342
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,360
MEOWING
Certainly not.
343
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:58,080
You should have gone
before we started!
344
00:19:58,080 --> 00:19:59,400
MEOWING
345
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:05,240
I was well known for my love of
cats, but what other pet did I have?
346
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,920
Was it...
347
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,320
The answer is...
348
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:17,560
..all three.
349
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,360
I also had two more owls,
some chameleons,
350
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:22,320
several dogs and a parrot.
351
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:23,920
And that wasn't all.
352
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,480
Yes, my house was full of life
353
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,640
and the carpet needed
regular cleaning.
354
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:30,880
CAT BREAKS WIND
355
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:32,760
Oh, can someone clear that up?
356
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,480
CAT MEOWS AND BREAKS WIND
Oh, and that.
357
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,280
CAT BREAKS WIND
And those, ugh!
358
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,720
Uh, Brad... Yeah.
359
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,560
Oh, Bradley.
360
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:43,920
Yes?
361
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,840
Braddikins. Yes!
362
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,240
B... There's good news and
363
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,000
there's bad news.
364
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:53,040
The good news is I've found you
a slot.
365
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,040
Wicked. So, what's the bad news?
366
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,840
The slot is round,
it stinks and it's blocked again.
367
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,240
The toilet?
368
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,560
You know what, I'm not
that bothered about going on.
369
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,240
Make up your mind, mate.
370
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:06,600
Next to play is a superstar
from America.
371
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:10,440
It's MC MLK - Martin Luther King.
372
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,640
Yeah, he helped get equal rights
for African Americans
373
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,360
with a little help from his friends.
374
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,760
Hit it!
375
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,000
Ow! Not me.
376
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,480
MUSIC PLAYS
377
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:31,400
♪ I'm Martin Luther King
378
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,000
♪ And I
379
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,400
♪ I had a dream
380
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:46,680
♪ It's said the victory
of civil rights
381
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:50,240
♪ Was brought about thanks to me
382
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,360
♪ But there were many, many more
383
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,640
♪ Who made it a reality
384
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:01,120
♪ They were the heroes
385
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,280
♪ Who made a dream come true
386
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:10,400
♪ A solid Christian leadership group
was formed
387
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,160
♪ Supported by black and white
388
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,760
♪ Police arrested me 30 times
389
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,240
♪ Like that would make me
give up the fight
390
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:26,480
♪ Black and white kept apart
391
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,920
♪ At school and even water fountains
392
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:34,640
♪ But President Johnson's
bold civil right laws
393
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,720
♪ Helped me climb further
up the mountain
394
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:43,360
♪ They were the heroes...everyday
395
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:51,280
♪ I had a dream
396
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,920
♪ That one day my children
397
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,800
♪ Will not be judged
by the colour of their skin
398
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:01,720
♪ But by the content
of their character
399
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:05,600
♪ When my life was ended
400
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:10,080
♪ Theirs did begin
401
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:14,200
♪ Within days of my assassination
402
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,360
♪ Legislation was ushered in
403
00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:21,040
♪ And they were the heroes
404
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,800
♪ Who made the dream come true
405
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,680
♪ And they were the heroes
406
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,320
♪ Who made the dream come true. ♪
407
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:38,320
What a hero!
408
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,840
Hey, Brad, are you having
a good time?
409
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:44,880
I'm dirty, I smell bad
and the food here is awful.
410
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,600
Oh, no. Glastonsmelly's great,
isn't it? Ha-ha!
411
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:52,480
We've had some amazing acts
from all over history.
412
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,040
How about someone from the present?
Maybe me.
413
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:58,840
Oh, I'm sorry, Brad,
we're all out of time, yeah.
414
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:02,360
But we're closing this festival
with some old school girl power,
415
00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:05,240
from the freshest Faro
in ancient Egypt.
416
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,960
Queen Cleopatra is coming at ya!
417
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:11,320
So I've been here all this time
for nothing?
418
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,720
All right, all right!
419
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:17,120
Hm, I'll squeeze you in on
this next one.
420
00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:20,480
Cleo, oi, we've got another one
for you.
421
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,160
Try not to poison him.
422
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,120
Off you go, son.
423
00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:27,120
And a three, two, a three, two, one!
424
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:28,280
♪ Ugh!
425
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,920
♪ Oh, ugh!
426
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:32,840
♪ Ugh, oh, ugh!
427
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:36,120
♪ A voice, a beat, a melody,
how music began
428
00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:37,800
♪ I play this very nicely
429
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,800
♪ Liar
Really, I can
430
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:43,320
♪ A harp, a flute
and this is really funky
431
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:45,240
♪ Before that,
came the Swedish horn
432
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,120
♪ It's cold as a brass monkey
433
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:48,720
♪ 700 BC
434
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,800
♪ Greek song contest, we're told
435
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,400
♪ In Chalcis each tune is judged
436
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,360
♪ Is Simon Cowell that old?
437
00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:57,760
♪ We Greeks invent the organ
and the musical Greece Lightning
438
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,920
♪ And Celts the horn of war
HORNS BLOW LOUDLY
439
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:01,760
♪ That sounds pretty frightening
440
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,120
♪ Music, music, music
441
00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:05,040
♪ Where did it all come from?
442
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:06,480
♪ Music, music, music
443
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,520
♪ We just love to sing along
444
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,280
♪ Music, music, music
445
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,200
♪ Creativity at its best
446
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:13,800
♪ Music, music, music
447
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:15,600
♪ I wonder what came next
448
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:20,520
BOTH CHANT:
introduces Monk Rock
449
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:24,720
♪ Adding harmonies
entertains the church rock
450
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,080
♪ Then came troubadours and courts
451
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,640
♪ Play the sackbut
but if you've patience
452
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:36,040
♪ Apart from banning women
it's a musical renaissance
453
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,080
♪ Vivaldi, Bach and Handel
New music causes shock
454
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,120
♪ Can you handle these changes?
455
00:25:41,120 --> 00:25:42,960
♪ Are you ready to baroque?
456
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:46,680
♪ For all what that has gone before
457
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:50,000
♪ We call that Jurassic
458
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,520
♪ Listen to our symphonies
459
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:57,480
♪ Each one is a classic
460
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,080
♪ Opera popular
461
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:03,040
♪ Romantic, not elitist
462
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:05,640
♪ Mahler, Verdi, Wagner
463
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,280
♪ That is not a bad list
464
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,440
♪ So the story told so far
music's mostly fun
465
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:15,120
♪ But oh, so many ch-ch-changes
gonna come
466
00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:19,320
♪ Mass produced pianos
really strike a chord
467
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,320
♪ But what's that on the phonograph?
468
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,000
♪ It's a record
469
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:27,520
♪ Immigrants to the US
bring the music heart and soul
470
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:32,120
♪ Afro, Jews, plus jazz and blues
equals rock and roll!
471
00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:35,680
♪ My singing changes everything,
uh-huh-huh!
472
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:38,080
♪ It's all shook up
473
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,600
♪ The USA led the way
474
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,920
♪ Until Beatles pop, ooh!
475
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,560
♪ Pop music explodes
476
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,600
♪ Too many styles to mention
477
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,200
♪ Rock, dance, rap and RandB
478
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,080
♪ Now there's only One Direction
479
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,880
♪ Whatever has been
480
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:03,560
♪ Whatever may appear
481
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:06,400
♪ Every piece of music
482
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:10,720
♪ Finds its way back...
483
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:11,920
♪ ..here
484
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,640
♪ Ugh, oh, ugh!
485
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:16,720
♪ Ugh! ♪
486
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,840
♪ Tall tales, atrocious acts
We gave you all the fearsome facts
487
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,640
♪ The ugly truth, no glam or glitz
We showed you all the juicy bits
488
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,200
♪ Gory, ghastly, mean and cruel
489
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,080
♪ Stuff they don't teach you
at school
490
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,760
♪ The past is no longer a mystery
491
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:37,920
♪ Hope you enjoyed
Horrible Histories. ♪
38808
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