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♪ Terrible Tudors, gorgeous
Georgians, slimy Stuarts,
vile Victorians
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♪ Woeful wars, ferocious fights
Dingy castles, daring knights
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00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,720
♪ Horrors that defy description
Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
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00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,480
♪ Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes
Punishment from ancient times
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00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:15,040
♪ Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless
Cavemen, savage, fierce and
toothless
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♪ Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
Mean and measly Middle Ages
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♪ Gory stories, we do that
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♪ And your host, a talking rat
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♪ The past is no longer a mystery
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♪ Welcome to...
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♪ Horrible Histories. ♪
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Horrible Histories presents...
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In a time of war,
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came a nurse who changed the face
of medicine -
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the Lady with the Lamp.
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What is the obsession with the lamp?
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Everybody needs a lamp,
it gets dark.
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Even as a child,
she loved to care...
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Er... That's my sister Parthenope.
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I'M over here.
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Parthenope, I need
you to check
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my Latin translation of last year's
flu statistics.
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Flozza, you are such a spod.
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When war broke out...
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destiny called.
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And it called Florence Nightingale,
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the Lady with the Lamp.
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For goodness' sake, will you please
stop going on about the lamp?!
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I will not be defined by a lamp.
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I've got a bonnet as well - are you
going to start calling me
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"the Babe with the Bonnet?"
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The Babe with the...
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Don't you dare. Sorry.
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Florence Nightingale,
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The World's Most Famous Nurse.
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And not just the Lady with the Lamp.
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No.
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Just...go away!
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Oh!
CLATTERING
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Terribly dark in here.
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Has anyone seen my lamp?
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It's true. Florence Nightingale
became the world's most famous nurse
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with her revolutionary ideas
about cleanliness.
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It's her fault you're always being
told to wash your hands.
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Her campaign to clean up hospitals
was a disaster... for us rats...
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..but it was GREAT for the patients
and everyone else.
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Over the years,
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she must have saved millions of
lives from infection, but did
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you know, early on, people actually
tried to put her off nursing.
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Ah, come in, take a seat, Miss...?
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Nightingale. Nightingale.
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Bet you'd be rather good at singing.
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I do so love to sing,
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but it is frivolous and cannot heal
the wretched or soothe the dying,
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so God has blessed me with a sore
throat to take the temptation away.
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Okey dokey.
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If you'd like to tell me
what you ARE good at and what
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sort of thing you DO like, we can
find the right career for you.
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I'm fluent in several
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European and classical languages,
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I excel at arithmetic, physics
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and chemistry and I have a passion
for statistics and conchology.
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Con...?
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It's the study of seashells.
Course it is. Con...
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Conchology.
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Righty-tighty! Well, according to
my calculations,
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the perfect career for you is...
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wife!
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Wife?
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It is a full-time post. After
leaving school, you would be working
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from home, excellent prospects
and potential for promotion to...
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mother in just nine months.
Salary is...
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Yeah, don't worry about the salary.
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But after everything I've told you,
my skills and talents?
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Yes, but you're female.
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And wife is pretty much the only job
going for a rich girl like you.
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I don't know why you're knocking it,
I'd... LOVE to be a wife.
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"Oh, darling, you're home early,
I've still got my curlers in!
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"Let me take my pinafore off, pop
your feet up and I'll give you..."
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I've had a calling from God!
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He wants me to go into the world
and help the needy.
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Oh! You should have said!
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Here we go, nun!
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But I'm not a Catholic.
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And we're back to...wife.
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This is absurd!
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I know what I want - to be a nurse,
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to dedicate my life to
helping the sick.
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And no MAN can stand in my way. What
does your father say about that?
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Well, I thank you for your time,
sir,
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but your cards have nothing
to offer me.
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Nursing is my destiny -
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no woman with a shred of dignity
should ever have to accept THIS.
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I'll take it, Flozza!
Oh, Parthenope!
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Welcome to Historical Sun,
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Sea and Suspicious Parents,
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where young Florence is off to
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a nursing college in Salisbury
for the trip of a lifetime.
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Over my dead body, she is.
But, Father...!
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I want to care for the sick.
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Really?! Why can't you be
more like your sister?
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Oh, what's SHE ever done? Nothing.
Exactly.
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That's what rich Victorian ladies
are supposed to do.
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What's wrong with you?
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Determined to change her mind, and
caring attitude, the Nightingales
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sent Florence on an
all-expenses-paid
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Grand Tour of Europe.
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But what Florence doesn't
know is that Mum,
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Dad and sister Parthenope
will be secretly watching
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and listening to everything
she does on the trip!
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Well, I just hope she stops all this
helping people nonsense and starts
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behaving selfishly so that for once,
we can actually be proud of her.
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What?
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But rather than partying
and enjoying herself,
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Florence seems more interested in
hanging out with the local nuns.
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I knew it! She's gone straight to
an Italian convent.
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HE GASPS
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And she's watching them nurse
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the sick, I mean, has she no shame?
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Never mind them. I feel sick!
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As a parent, this is the last thing
you want to see your daughter doing.
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Unaware that her parents are
watching, Florence has gone
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all the way to Germany to spend four
months in a religious community.
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She's not just watching now.
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She's joining in!
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And with bank of Mum and Dad paying,
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it's time to head home
and face the music.
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Honestly!
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No staying up till gone nine
o'clock in Barcelona,
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no heavy tea drinking in Corfu,
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just 24-hour binge nursing.
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No wonder you didn't find
yourself a husband!
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I don't WANT a husband.
I've got a job.
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00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,880
Superintendent to the Establishment
for Gentlewomen During Illness.
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And...
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Our daughter! A nurse!
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Where did we go wrong?
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The Crimean War broke out in 1853
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and Britain, France,
Turkey and Sardinia
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all rallied together to fight
Russia.
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No-one expected it to be such
a bloody and difficult war
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and conditions were particularly
awful for the soldiers who'd
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travelled all that way to fight.
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Well, for MOST of them, anyway.
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I'm Lord Cardigan
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and this is Crimean War,
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X-treme Survival.
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As a soldier, I've had to learn
to survive
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some pretty extreme conditions.
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I'm going to show you how.
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X-treme Survival - Tip One!
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Rations are low.
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Your men are so hungry they are
considering eating their privates
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AND their corporals. You need food.
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Look around you - what do you see?
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Old leather boots
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can be boiled and chewed
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for much-needed nutrition.
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But what I like to do, is...
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bring wagon loads of food with me -
yum!
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And my own personal chef to cook me
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whatever I like for dinner.
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That's... X-treme Survival.
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X-treme Survival Tip Two!
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It's cold! The Army have only
given you summer uniforms to wear.
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You have a choice.
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Keep warm or die!
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Huddling together like a bunch
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of gossiping fishwives can
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provide some much-needed shared
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body heat that will get you through.
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But what I like to do is...
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have my servant bring me
a nice hot cup of tea,
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an extra pair of socks
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and a big old warm coat.
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Drink! Don't mind if I do.
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HE SPITS
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This isn't Darjeeling,
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it's Assam, Carruthers!
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X-treme Survival Tip Three!
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These old tents from the Battle
of Waterloo 40 years ago can be
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patched up and used to keep you dry.
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00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,440
But what I like to do is
bring my yacht instead.
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There she is. Anchored in the bay!
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It's also a nice place for your
friends to stay when you're at war.
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Oh, they're playing Twister.
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Wait for me, guys!
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War truly is hell.
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I'm Lord Cardigan and this has been
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Crimean War X-treme Survival.
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During the war, we Victorians
actually travelled to the
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Crimea to watch
the battles as tourists.
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Such fun!
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Ooh! Sounds like they've started.
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I don't want to miss anything.
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Wait for me!
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Looking for the holiday
of a lifetime?
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Then come to the sumptuous five-star
surroundings of the Crimea.
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Sit back, relax and let your Black
Sea adventure begin as you enjoy
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British war tourism at its finest.
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Help, I'm drowning!
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Hang on!
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Please, help me!
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Help!
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Don't take pictures! Land ahoy!
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Enjoy splendid day trips,
including hillside views
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of the battlefield
and marvel
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at the mindless
violence.
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Come to the Crimea. Oh, Marion!
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Voted Europe's Best War For Watching
for the second year running.
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It's his!
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And soon
with added Lady of the Lamp.
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Do you mind?
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I have work to do.
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00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,080
If it's good enough
for Florence Nightingale,
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it's good enough for me.
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00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,280
Don't miss this unique offer.
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This is a war you won't
want to miss.
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Come to the Crimea.
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Full return with room and dining,
only three sovereigns.
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No liability accepted for death,
dismemberment, dysentery,
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00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:50,240
typhoid, cholera, not ATOL
protected - it's a war zone!
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00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:55,560
But our brave Flo hadn't gone to
the Crimea to have a good time.
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She was there to help the wounded
soldiers at the hospital.
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00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:02,640
But that wasn't as simple as it
sounds, especially as the soldiers
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00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:06,400
were as terrified of going to the
hospital as they were of the enemy.
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00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:15,400
What's happened, soldier? Oh, you're
in a bad way. Oh, what, this, sir?
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00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,640
Nah, that's nothing, sir.
You carry on, sir.
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00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:22,280
I mean, there does seem to be quite
a nasty wound on your leg. What?
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00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:27,840
Nah, looks all right to me,
sir. Doesn't to me. Not that!
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00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:31,640
No, it's fine, sir, it's fine.
I can still wiggle me toes, see?
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00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:37,080
Look, there's no easy way to say
this, but I'm afraid I... I think...
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00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,080
No, sir. Please, don't say it, sir.
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00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,640
You're going to have to go to the
hospital. No, not the hospital, sir!
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00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,520
Anything but the hospital,
sir! It's filthy!
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00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,480
No-one comes out of there alive!
I hated that leg, anyway, sir.
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00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,920
It was slowing me down.
Pull yourself together!
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00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,040
It's not that bad in the...hospital.
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00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:56,280
Please don't send me to the hospital
in Scutari, sir. I can't stand it!
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00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,400
Just leave me on the battlefield.
I'll live longer.
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00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,440
I've got a wife and kid at home,
sir, and a cat. I'm sorry, sir.
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00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,200
But you are going to the hospital.
Argh!
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00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:09,160
It's going back, sir,
it's all right. Argh!
244
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:14,440
Soldiers really were terrified
of coming to Scutari Hospital,
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00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,080
and for good reason.
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00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,120
Lots more soldiers were
dying from diseases
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00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,240
they caught here
than from their wounds.
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00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,480
The hospital was even
built on a sewer,
249
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:26,600
meaning patients were drinking dirty
water and wading through poo.
250
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,240
Sounds great!
251
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:32,040
But our plucky Flo got straight to
work, making the hospital cleaner,
252
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:35,920
feeding and clothing the patients,
and helping them exercise.
253
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:39,520
Finally, the injured soldiers were
being treated with the respect
254
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:40,920
they deserved.
255
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,080
No wonder they loved her so much.
256
00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,240
♪ Because, you see
It's all about this base
257
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,280
♪ About this base
258
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:47,360
♪ Nobody's healed
259
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,320
♪ This hospital's a waste of space
260
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,000
♪ Worse than the battlefield
261
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,600
♪ It's all about this nurse
Making it less worse, so we all hail
262
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,000
♪ The lady with the lamp... ♪
263
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,440
Me, Florence Nightingale.
264
00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,400
♪ Don't like red painted walls... ♪
265
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,080
That's blood, ma'am. Oo-er!
266
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,800
♪ Probably doesn't help
267
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,920
♪ You've built this on a sewer
268
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,680
♪ Those Russians
good at killing our men in Crimea
269
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:10,440
♪ But not half as good as this place
270
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:12,160
♪ Central Station diarrhoea!
271
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,000
♪ First I brought in some towels
272
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,760
♪ So when emptying their bowels
273
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,280
♪ Then at least their botties
were clean
274
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,600
♪ Isn't funny!
275
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,160
♪ Help them get off their backs
276
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:24,200
♪ Offering tasty fresh
snacks in the hos...
277
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,360
♪ ..pital canteen
278
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:26,440
♪ Yummy-yummy!
279
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:28,640
♪ Took one look at the squalor
280
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:33,000
♪ And cases of cholera
sores and dysentery
281
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,040
♪ Poorly tummy!
282
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,600
♪ And then here's the surprise
283
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:40,240
♪ Bought the stolen supplies
back with my own money
284
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,560
♪ Because, you see
It's all about this base
285
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:43,760
♪ About this base... ♪
286
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,080
Don't get annoyed!
287
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:48,360
I'll get a brand-new pillowcase,
clear all trace of typhoid.
288
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,800
♪ It's all about this nurse
Fortunes reverse
289
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,320
♪ At the double
Helping soldiers feel less worse
290
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:54,520
♪ Don't need a hearse... ♪
291
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:55,560
No trouble!
292
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,280
♪ Took my light round
at night check
293
00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:01,520
♪ The men were all right
and not suffering too much pain
294
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:02,560
♪ Feeling peaky!
295
00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:04,400
♪ Most of all, I was spying
296
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:08,680
♪ Check nurses weren't lying
But doing what they were saying
297
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:09,720
♪ Pretty sneaky!
298
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,480
♪ I ensured that the kitchen
dished out good nutrition
299
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,680
♪ And everyone got enough
300
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:17,000
♪ Bubble and squeaky!
301
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,440
♪ And found that, over time
302
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,360
♪ That the deaths did decline... ♪
303
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,080
Turns out, she sure knows her stuff!
304
00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:25,480
♪ Because it's all about this base
305
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,920
♪ About this base sanitation
306
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:31,080
♪ All about control of disease
incubation
307
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,800
♪ Yes, it's all about this nurse
and how she turned her abhorrence
308
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,400
♪ Of this curse
into a cleaner universe
309
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,640
♪ She's Florence! ♪
310
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,480
Excellent work, Miss Nightingale!
311
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:45,160
And Florence wasn't the only brave
woman helping people
312
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:46,800
out in the Crimean War.
313
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:50,040
At the same time Florence was
improving her hospital,
314
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,400
Mary Seacole was running a thriving
315
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:57,360
but somewhat unusual hotel
right at the Balaclava battlefront.
316
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,400
Room service!
317
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:05,600
Oh, Bertie! I'm such a lucky girl to
be honeymooning in the Crimea!
318
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,000
And, to cap it all,
a stay at the British Hotel -
319
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,680
the finest in Balaclava!
320
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:12,400
PFRRRT!
321
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:18,320
You are sure it's the finest hotel
in the Crimea? Apparently, yes.
322
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,480
You there! Serving girl. We should
like to speak to the manager.
323
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:25,200
That's me, Mary Seacole -
born in Jamaica, Scottish father,
324
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,760
now proud proprietor
of the British Hotel.
325
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:33,200
Then, we have a reservation
for two - Mr and Mrs Burlington.
326
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,560
PFRRRT!
327
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,680
You, boy! Order, please! Can't you
see I'm with a fancy couple?
328
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:38,720
PFRRRT!
329
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:42,080
Awfully sorry about this. Won't be
a jiffy. There you go, doll.
330
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:46,200
Have a little bit of poo medicine.
That'll sort your bum in nae time!
331
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:50,640
Did you say poo medicine? Aye.
Would you like some? It's home-made.
332
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:51,920
Stops them doing pumps!
333
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,600
PFRRRT!
It doesn't sound like it.
334
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,240
PFRRRT!
335
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,080
You should hear them
when they don't have it.
336
00:14:57,080 --> 00:15:00,080
And, um,
why do they need poo medicine?
337
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:03,280
They suffer terrible with
diarrhoea from the dysentery.
338
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:04,680
Isn't that right, me child?
339
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,040
PFRRRT!
340
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:07,880
There we go - right as rain!
341
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:09,160
PFRRRT!
342
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,960
I must say, I feel we should have
been warned about the building work.
343
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,880
Ah, that's not building work.
The hotel is built with metal
344
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,040
and rotten driftwood found
lying around the battlefield.
345
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,240
THEY GASP
346
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:26,000
I made it myself. Would you please
show us to our bedroom?
347
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,960
We don't actually have any beds.
You're fully booked?
348
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,680
No, we literally don't
have any beds.
349
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,680
It's part of the hotel's
rustic charm.
350
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:37,360
We do have these reclaimed
wooden recliners.
351
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:43,520
I am not sleeping on a plank,
Bertie! No, you should.
352
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,760
If you sleep on the ground,
the rats will get you.
353
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:46,800
RATS SQUEAK
354
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:48,520
Have that, you sneaky wee beast!
Oh, gosh!
355
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:51,080
Bertie, I'm going home to Mother!
No, no! Clemmie, wait!
356
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,200
Nothing can stop me!
357
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,160
PFRRRT!
Oh. You should try some of this.
358
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,360
Bung you up a treat.
359
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:57,400
PFRRRT!
360
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,640
Clemmie? Let me help you.
PFRRRT!
361
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:02,680
Oh! Oh!
362
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:07,720
Top stuff, Mary!
You rarely came up trumps.
363
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,520
PFRRRT!
364
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:10,840
Now, back to Florence.
365
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,440
When the war was over,
she returned to Britain
366
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,920
and continued her work improving
hospital conditions.
367
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:20,800
Then, in 1860, a nursing school was
founded in her name,
368
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:24,840
creating the first properly
qualified professional nurses,
369
00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:28,960
although finding the right people to
study there wasn't always easy.
370
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:33,200
I'm Florence Nightingale,
371
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,400
and this is the Florence Nightingale
School Of Nursing.
372
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:37,560
Thumbs up! Oh.
373
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:42,720
Thanks to public donations...for
the first time ever,
374
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,440
15 of you can choose
nursing as an actual paid career.
375
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,840
We're waiting for you. Point! You!
376
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:53,680
To qualify, simply answer these
simple questions.
377
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,920
First question again? Not you.
378
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,600
Yes! Really?
379
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:02,960
No. Certainly not!
380
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:07,800
Sorry I'm late. I missed
the carriage. No, thank you!
381
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:11,160
Yeah! Definitely not!
382
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,800
That's right, love! I'm elderly.
383
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:19,040
Orderly! Huh? You need
to speak up. No!
384
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:22,880
I'm honest, tidy, sober,
punctual and orderly.
385
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:26,760
I'd love to train to be a nurse.
You'll make a great nurse.
386
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:27,800
Definitely!
387
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,840
I'm deaf and 80! Go away. Oh.
388
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:39,920
Hello, I'm a handsome doctor,
and I've come to Victorian Britain
389
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:43,400
to chat to this lady about her very
embarrassing problem.
390
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:48,320
Emily, how can we help you?
Hello, handsome doctor.
391
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:53,720
You see, the problem is,
I am hideously ugly. No! You're...
392
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:57,160
You're beautiful. Have you not
seen my elephantine waist?
393
00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,920
No man will marry me
unless my waist looks like this.
394
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,000
No, you see, Emily, that's, um,
pretty unhealthy.
395
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,400
I mean, the only way you could get
a waist that small would be
396
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:10,000
to use some kind of iron corset to
literally squeeze your stomach...
397
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,040
Good idea!
398
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,080
Oi!
399
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:15,040
Oi! Oi!
400
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,400
I instantly feel
more alluring! Whoa!
401
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,440
CLATTERING
402
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:22,480
CAT MIAOWS
403
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,640
Tell you what - it would be a
little bit safer outside.
404
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,960
I can't go outside! That's how
I got this hideous suntan!
405
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,760
Because you're
worried about skin cancer?
406
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:30,440
No, I'm worried I'll
look like a peasant.
407
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,880
Emily has some pretty
extreme ideas about how to get
408
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:34,560
her desired complexion.
409
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:37,240
Vinegar to lighten the skin.
410
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:42,480
Arsenic soap.
411
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:45,680
Just a little.
412
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:53,360
And a few finishing touches.
What are you doing?
413
00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:57,240
Drawing on veins to make myself look
all pale and see-through.
414
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,760
Aren't you captivated?
415
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:02,760
Yeah.
416
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,640
The card-collecting game that's
sweeping the 19th century!
417
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:12,920
David Livingstone, glasses man,
don't know, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
418
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,000
Thanks to the brand-new
invention of photography
419
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,880
and the larger number
of celebrities, you can
420
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:20,240
now collect pictures of all
your favourite Victorians!
421
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,760
I'm Isambard Kingdom Brunel,
422
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,200
and I printed my pictures
as calling cards.
423
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,400
I never intended for people to
collect them.
424
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:27,840
Tough luck, mutton chops!
425
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:31,240
They're collecting them now,
and everyone's doing it!
426
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:34,200
Um... OK, Harriet Beecher Stowe.
Got.
427
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:35,840
Er... Hector Berlioz. Got.
428
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,240
Napoleon. Which one? Third. Got.
429
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:41,000
Yes, collect all your favourite
Victorian celebrities!
430
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,800
Have you got Florence Nightingale?
That's silly. No-one's got her.
431
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,520
She refuses to be photographed.
BOTH: Ooh!
432
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,360
I don't want any personal publicity,
433
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:50,520
and I don't want anything to
do with Cartomania!
434
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:51,560
Collect...
435
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,000
If it's good enough for me,
it's good enough for you,
436
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,240
and that's an order!
437
00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:00,320
Oh! Yes, Your Majesty.
How do you want me?
438
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:03,360
Smiling? Oh! Certainly not!
439
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:04,960
If God had wanted us
to show our teeth,
440
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,680
he wouldn't have given us lips!
441
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:07,720
Disgusting!
442
00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:20,040
It's true - we Victorians loved
collecting photos of celebrities,
443
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,720
and our obsession with celebs
didn't end there.
444
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:26,120
Florence's work in Scutari
was all over the newspapers,
445
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:29,800
and she quickly gained an army
of die-hard Florence fans that
446
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,960
would put Directioners to shame!
447
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:35,080
But there was one person who
wasn't at all happy with
448
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:37,280
Florence's A-list status.
449
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,760
Roll up, roll up!
Yes, Florence Nightingale souvenirs!
450
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,880
You won't find quality like this
anywhere else!
451
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:49,920
We've got hundreds of posters,
prints, drawings, etchings -
452
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:53,600
all of them a genuine likeness of
the lady of the lamp herself!
453
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:54,640
Really?
454
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,120
We've got Florence mats,
Florence stamps, Florence spoons,
455
00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:58,160
Florence plates.
456
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:03,360
We've also got...this amazing
Florence figurine!
457
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:06,080
It's almost as if the angel
of the trenches were here right now.
458
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:09,200
God bless her! She is.
No, no, it's just a statue.
459
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,280
Oh, you can
still tell from the height.
460
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,240
Did you think she was in
the distance? Bless you!
461
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:17,280
I'm Florence Nightingale. Give over!
You don't look nothing like her!
462
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,040
No, they look nothing like me!
463
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,920
Florence, give us another smile,
will you, darling? Yoo-hoo!
464
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:25,280
Lovely stuff. Gotcha!
Parthenope Nightingale here.
465
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,640
Always happy to pose with my famous
sis! One more. Lovely!
466
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:33,960
Lady of the lamp! Get off me!
Come on, Flozza! For the camera!
467
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,320
You can do your cheeky face.
468
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:37,600
When have you ever seen me
do a cheeky face? Excuse me!
469
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,840
Excuse me, coming through.
Coming through. Hello, Florence.
470
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:44,160
Do you remember me?
I kissed your shadow as you passed.
471
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:47,120
Now, now, soldier! There was
no kissing allowed on my wards.
472
00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:48,640
It's most unhygienic!
473
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,280
♪ Oh, Florence Nightingale, so dear!
474
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,320
♪ She saved the soldiers
in Crimea! ♪
475
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,360
Please, stop!
476
00:21:54,360 --> 00:22:00,160
No more songs or poems! Oh!
Lighten up, Flozza! I will not!
477
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,400
Nursing is a very serious business.
478
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,480
And all this lady of the lamp
stuff is just trash!
479
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:13,840
This is going right on my
mantelpiece! Wow! Roll up! Roll up!
480
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,440
Get your Florence Nightingale trash!
481
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:20,200
Virtually trashed by the lady of the
lamp herself! I'm going home to bed!
482
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,240
Gotcha!
483
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:28,840
For goodness' sake! Iodine, hot
towels! It's meant to be my day off.
484
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,520
Crimea... Magic lamp...
485
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,880
Oh, hello there. So sorry.
486
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:41,360
I was just having a quick nap.
487
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,720
Well, not so quick.
488
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:48,360
I actually spent much of my later
life in bed, and I wasn't pretending
489
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:52,520
to be ill so that I could avoid
a maths test, like some people.
490
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:56,480
But do you know how long
I actually spent in bed?
491
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:57,520
Was it...
492
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:05,680
The answer is...
493
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:15,240
Yes, I spent 11 years in bed,
and even did all my work there.
494
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:19,920
Mm, lovely! Speaking of which, I
should probably get back there now.
495
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:24,440
Oh, maybe just a quick...
496
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:27,120
SHE SNORES
497
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,880
Wash your hands!
498
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,080
KNOCK ON DOOR
499
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:38,040
Enter! Thank you so much, Miss
Nightingale. I'm terribly sorry.
500
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,840
I thought this was your office.
It is my office.
501
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,400
I'm writing to important
leaders around the world.
502
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:47,040
My campaign for universal
sanitation will not rest.
503
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:48,880
Plus the commute is great!
504
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:52,800
Do sit down, Dr Morgan. Yes.
505
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:56,720
I wondered if I could seek your
opinion on the new government fund.
506
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,360
May I introduce Gladstone?
The British Prime Minister?
507
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:03,200
He's here, in your bed...office?
Well, yes, I'd be honoured.
508
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,120
You mustn't rub his tummy,
though. Well, no.
509
00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:07,240
I mean, that would be very rude.
510
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,040
But I tell you who won't
leave you alone
511
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:13,000
until you give his big fat belly
a jolly good scratch - Mr Bismarck.
512
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,920
The German Chancellor's here?
Well, the honour would be all mine.
513
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:16,960
Of course he's here!
514
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,440
He sits on my knee and laps rice
pudding out of a plate,
515
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:20,600
like a gentleman.
516
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:24,760
Good grief! Is that something
German people do? Oh, dear!
517
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:29,040
Look at your filthy paws!
You give them a jolly good lick!
518
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,160
You know how
I feel about cleanliness, Gladstone!
519
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,160
Yes, of course. Gladstone is a cat.
520
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,480
Well, I do hope Mr Bismarck
isn't allergic to...
521
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,560
He's a cat as well,
isn't he? Of course he is.
522
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:43,320
Cats are the finest of creatures.
523
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:46,360
You must meet Tom, Topsy
and Mr Muff.
524
00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:49,400
Disraeli over there just had
kittens.
525
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,320
Oh, you must have one. Um... Maybe.
526
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:56,880
Now, where has Mrs Smudge got to?
Perhaps she's in the litter tray.
527
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,880
Why would my housekeeper
be in the litter tray?
528
00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:03,560
Now, young man, about this kitten
you asked for. Do you know what?
529
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:04,840
I don't really like cats.
530
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:06,200
CAT MIAOWS
531
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,040
Yeah, they make me a bit,
um, sneezy.
532
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,720
Out of office? You're
clearly in your bed...office.
533
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:18,280
Can I just ask... Send me a letter.
Look, since I'm here...
534
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:22,680
I am currently on annual leave
and will contact you on my return.
535
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:28,120
Best regards. Maybe I do like cats.
I suppose they're rather sweet.
536
00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:31,000
HE SNEEZES
537
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:35,560
I'll see my...self out.
Silly little man!
538
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:40,920
Florence Nightingale lived
until she was 90 years old
539
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:44,920
and never stopped campaigning to
make health care more hygienic.
540
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:46,280
That's why keeping surgeries
541
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:50,360
and hospitals as clean as possible
is so important today.
542
00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:53,560
Florence,
you are a national treasure!
543
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,440
But not very popular
in my neighbourhood. Ha!
544
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,200
Now, that calls for a song.
545
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,160
♪ Nursing girls don't get
hurt by the men in suits
546
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:07,840
♪ It's absurd, I tried to change
their views on care
547
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:14,800
♪ But they don't want to see
their bureaucratic idiocy
548
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:18,000
♪ Is leaving nurses in despair
549
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:23,200
♪ One, two, three
One, two, three, see?
550
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,720
♪ I can prove statistically
551
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:28,560
♪ More health care efficiency
552
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,400
♪ Would help significantly
553
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:38,920
♪ I'm going to bring about change
to patient care
554
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,880
♪ Try and stop me if you dare
555
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:49,640
♪ Telling you things going to
change from the norm
556
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,520
♪ Total social reform
557
00:26:52,520 --> 00:27:00,080
♪ I'm going to try to
talk to the Queen
558
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,320
♪ Help to intervene
559
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:09,840
♪ I'm going to
bring about change around here
560
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,640
♪ Change around here
561
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,720
♪ Like a train
through your government rule
562
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,560
♪ You'll never stop my nurse
training school
563
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,280
♪ One of the first rules
I put in place
564
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,520
♪ Was to clear old
wards of bodily waste
565
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:32,200
♪ I brought about big change
to patient care
566
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:35,200
♪ Couldn't stop me, didn't dare
567
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:40,000
♪ Telling you things
568
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:43,000
♪ Proper change from the norm
569
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,960
♪ Total social reform
570
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:53,120
♪ I brought about universal
nursing care
571
00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:56,560
♪ The lack of nurses wasn't fair
572
00:27:56,560 --> 00:28:03,360
♪ Telling you I brought
a change around here
573
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,440
♪ Change around here. ♪
45475
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