Original subtitles

- What are you doing in here?

- What are you doing that for?

I've seen it all before, you know. You were my bloody wife.

- Can you ask your girlfriend to turn the telly down?

It's not good for your mum.

- Should I get my lips done like her?

Plump, like juicy lips.

Oh, that's him, Gary.

He's a prick.

- Yeah, but he's a funny prick.

And you like funny pricks?

Yes. Why wouldn't you?

Ah, shit.

Would you like to be on this?

Eh, yeah?

It'd be a holiday, innit?

Yeah, but you'd have to cop off

with all those lads.

- Nah. You pretend.

It's a free holiday.

You'd be great in it.

- Get the money, Helen.

Here we go.

- I bet that one wouldn't wipe me arse.

- Would you want her to wipe your arse?

- No. I bloody wouldn't.

Probably can't even wipe her own.

Oh.

So, what did you wish for?

- The usual.

- You shouldn't stay here just because of me.

That's nice. You're good at this.

- When I was at the home, I had a Girl's World doll.

- Oh, I bet she didn't have collapsing lungs,

gray hair, and no teeth.

- She was the only thing I loved to play with.

- I loved to play with mine, once upon a time.

- I used to snog her.

- Oh, Christ.

Who did you use to think about?

- I'd have to kill you if I told you.

- Sometimes, I wish you would kill me.

- I'd end up in prison.

- Yeah, well, we're both already in one, love.

- All you've done is moan since we've got here!

You've got your face in that phone!

You think you're pissin' funny, you do.

Get in the fucking car!

I'm going!

- What are you gawking at? Stupid cow.

- I've never been there, and I probably won't ever go.

Are you slacking?

- I hate the night shift.

- Come on, Clare.

Eyes down on the line. Four nights down, one to go!

- Hey.

- Jesus. Watch it.

- Yes!

Come on.

- Hats on!

2617, do not touch that bloody button!

- I've got a name!

- Go get us a drink, Paula.

- Why can't you go?

- 'Cause I've slept with everyone standing there

and it's embarrassing.

- What's wrong?

I don't know, Gary.

Give him Calpol or something.

What? Have you checked his nappy?

Uh.

Did you give your mum a drink?

Look, I've gotta go. - Here, your majesty.

- Did you know Joanne Jones was coming back?

Her dad died.

- Why is she coming back? She hated her dad.

Evil bastard.

- Nothing more pleasing than ranting at a corpse.

I did it with me mum's. She was a cunt.

- Well, there's no corpse for her to rant at.

He's already been buried.

- See you back inside.

- See you.

Hey, which one was your favorite?

- Oh, fuck off.

- Oh, hello.

- Oh, hello.

Fucking hell.

- I should take you to hospital.

- I'm not having strangers feeding off my grand finale.

I've waited long enough for it,

so I'm not sharing it with anyone except you.

- How are you not afraid of dying?

- You shouldn't be afraid of living.

Women like us, we're just a number.

We live by the clock,

spend every day serving someone or something.

Tick, tock.

Tick, tock.

Before you know it, the lid's being shut.

What's biting your arse, love?

- Someone I used to know, except I didn't know them

'cause I never spoke to them.

I'm embarrassed if I see her, about me, my life.

- Hey. Hey.

- Hiya. Oh, me?

- I work at the chicken. No, I don't have kids.

No, but me husband, he's had a baby with someone else.

- And that's not your bloody fault,

so don't you ever go blaming yourself for that.

- Anyway.

- Last shift before the weekend, huh?

- Yep.

- Hell hath no fury like a woman's-

- Flange.

I write sayings when someone wants to fight me.

- How old are you?

- I practice in the mirror.

I've got enough fury in my flange to cause an earthquake,

so don't fucking push it, love.

Ooh, yeah!

If you're not scared of me,

why are you shaking like a shitting dog?

- God, come here. - Come here.

- Come here!

Look at you!

- Good to see you.

- It's good to see you! - Come here!

Oh my God!

- Let go! I can't breathe!

Don't squash Joanne!

- You remember Helen from the home, Joanne.

She was at school with us.

- Vaguely.

- Listen to you. - You sound dead posh.

- Oh, shush. - You do!

- Look at your car! - Don't you touch my car.

- Oh, come on! You should put me on the car!

Oh! Oh!

Oh my God!

Paula, stop it! - Stop playing around!

- Do not get in. Don't even think about it.

- Oh, I'm getting in. I'm getting in.

No, you're not getting in.

Well, you're not having the keys.

- Shotgun!

- Nobody is getting in my car!

I've got the keys!

- Where did you scamper her off to?

What the hell's up with you?

- Do you remember me at school?

- Hey?

Christ, Helen.

I'm not being funny but I was hardly fucking there.

Why don't you come out tonight?

We're all meeting up with Joanne.

- Yeah, all right. Thanks.

- Well, more for you.

We'll be at the Gasworks from seven!

It's that time of the month!

Payday, you knob head!

- I've been thinking.

If I got rid of her,

then you and I take on baby Jacob-Rees, yeah?

- What are you on about?

- You should be grateful you got a home to go, you know?

A roof over your head.

If you're not happy with it,

then, you know, do something about it.

Find someone else.

- And how am I supposed to do that

when you're taking half my wages?

- Well, I can't work and look after Mum, can I?

- How's your friend?

- It's been 20 odd years.

I barely remember myself from 20 odd years ago.

They're all off out tonight.

- Helen,

you get out there.

Make her remember you.

Tick, tock, love.

Come here!

Jesus!

- Open your mouth and I'll move, love.

- Hey, swallow your cheek,

or I'll shove it down your throat for you, love.

Hey! Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots!

- To the woman with a girl in every port!

- Ugh. - Oh, God.

- I'd have a finger party with you anytime.

- Oh, Paula.

How long you here, Joanne?

- The council's giving me a couple of weeks

to clear the house.

- A lifetime of living and you get a few weeks.

That's how they treat us humans.

- Oh, I wouldn't call you human, Paula.

- I can't believe you lot are still here.

- Oh, me kids' dads are here, so I'm stuck.

- I got away. I only came back 'cause me dad was ill.

- You only went to Liverpool.

You can bloody walk there for me.

- Chris, I've just realized you two will be close.

Have you seen anyone?

- No, apart from that knob Gary who still lives next door.

What woman married that prick?

Oh, geez.

Is there a problem? What's wrong?

- Helen, come on!

- Would you like a chip?

I was embarrassed.

I didn't want him to know that I stalked you as a teenager.

- Do they come with curry or gravy?

- Half and half, 'cause I can never decide.

- So where are you living now?

- Next door to you and that Gary.

- I haven't been with him for years.

- What's with all these fences?

It's funny.

- What is?

- This is the first time we've ever talked.

Enjoy your chips.

- Well, look at you.

- Hello, Gwen.

Here.

- As promised, with 20 years' interest.

Gwen gave me the fare to follow the yellow brick road.

- She's a friend of Dorothy.

- She knows.

- Dorothy?

- Oh, she's not as green as she's cabbage-looking.

She used to snog a Girl's World doll.

- Gwen! Oh my God!

I'll leave you two to it.

- So you're back.

You've been hiding away too long.

You're back to make sure he's gone?

- In a way.

- He had a horrible death.

Taking your last gasp, knowing you're unloved and unliked.

What could be more horrible than that?

Are you all right in that house?

- He was never the house.

- No.

Not the house.

- Fred the Flaker!

- Allen the Allotment!

- Beryl the Bar!

Stop!

- Who said Beryl the Bar already?

- Helen the Handmaid.

- People call me Helen the Handmaid?

- Go sort her out.

What is wrong with you?

- It's just a name.

- Does everyone know?

- No! Of course they don't.

- I thought I was Helen the Home.

Helen the Handmaid?

It's embarrassing.

- Not as embarrassing as Paula the Blower.

Wash your hands, Debs!

These were a lot easier when I was young.

- Excuse me!

Snooping is against the law.

Weirdo.

- I've got something for you! Shit!

- You okay?

Yeah.

Here. - Thanks.

So this is where you grew up?

- Homes are like people. Some are lovely.

Some are ugly. Some are just cruel.

What?

- You talk like, I don't know, a poem.

It's nice.

- You like?

- I always wanted one of those.

- So what was it like growing up with nuns?

- You got a thing for nuns?

- No.

- Slow, cold, orderly.

Lots of Latin. That came in useful at the chicken factory.

I don't know.

I spent most of my time looking out the window.

I wasn't always there.

My nana brought me up and then she died, so.

- Yeah, but were they nice to you?

- Sometimes.

But you do have a thing for nun?

- No, I don't.

Come here.

Sit.

Close your eyes. Keep 'em closed.

Closed.

This girl was my best friend.

You wanna play?

Don't be silly. We're grown women.

- Gary!

Gary!

Gary!

What?

- Have you taken my make-up bag?

- You being fucking funny?

- Well, it kinda just vaporized into thin air?

Ugh.

It was just here!

What the shitting hell?

Gary!

Gary!

She's pure.

What? I'm watching the telly!

- A brain game.

- I Spy.

- Bored.

- Bingo?

- How do you play bingo with no hands?

- Disabled people play bingo, Lynn.

- Memory games are good for stimulating the brain.

- Okay. Memory games.

Helen, first man you had sex with.

- No.

- First man you thought of having sex with.

- Leave her alone, Paula.

- Actually, Paula, it wasn't a man.

- What does she mean by that?

- Helen!

- I'm melting! I'm fucking melting!

- Interesting. We were just having a memory game.

- A trip down memory lane.

- Hmm. A trip?

- No way.

- Hey.

A long trip?

- A long, long trip.

- I'm up for it.

- You need a new line, Paula.

- It can't be long. I need to see to Gwen.

- Oh, live a little.

Let me press it!

No!

Oh, just let me press it!

No!

Please let me press it, Clare!

Come on!

Let me have the boom!

Yeah!

Come on! - Woo!

- Be careful with that. - We're not walking, are we?

Come on!

- I hate walking!

- Come here. - Come on, Paula!

Here we go!

Woo!

- Rolling! - Bloody hell, run!

- I'm trying to hang me washing, love.

- Woo! - Let's go!

- Oh, fuck me. That's bigger than what I remember.

- You lying girl.

- Five women want to get to the top. How hard can it be?

- Don't worry. She's an expert.

- These are gentle.

- Ooh.

- So what happens now?

Oh, don't. She'll have an asthma attack.

- I've got three kids with three different dads.

- I had, I...

I had mine when I was 17 and she's me best mate.

I am that woman.

what are you doing?

- I'm seeing chicken clouds.

Stop! I'm gonna piss!

Stop!

- I could live here

in a giant mushroom with net curtains.

- If there's anyone up there,

can you get Helen the Home a busting home?

I wonder what Google Earth is seeing.

- Christ! I've got nothing in for tea!

- A penny for them?

- Um.

Wash bedding, wash work clothes, hang work clothes,

press repeat.

- You like her.

Well, you're not thinking of a man

when you snog your doll, now are you?

- She's a friend.

- I wish I had a friend that made my men sing like that.

- Everything all right?

- Well, I'm dying.

- Is that supposed to be funny?

- I'm going to have a fanny scrub-down.

Do you want to watch?

- Hm. I'll shut the door then.

- Now, I'm just saying this.

If you are thinking about it, don't let mine put you off.

- Are you snooping on me?

Yeah.

- And there's like these like...

And then, like, as I get better,

I can do, like, semi-perms and that.

- Yeah, semi-perms.

- Are you coming or what?

Are you just gonna go off in the street then, yeah?

So long.

Why are you still here?

Where else would I have gone?

- Oh.

Oh, anywhere

- Gwen, when the home closed down, took me in as a lodger

and I love her for it, so here I am.

- So that's when you met Gary?

- I was young.

How young?

- 16.

- Oh, God.

You used to sit here for hours.

What were you dreaming about?

Well, I used to dream of playing the piano.

I went to music class at school.

I watched this girl play and she was pretty and confident,

so I asked the music teacher if I could join the class.

Yeah.

He took ahold of my hands, looked at them,

and in front of everyone,

he told me that they were too dirty to touch his piano,

so I hit him and smashed up his music room and his piano.

- That was the last time I saw you,

you being dragged down the corridor by the police.

- Yeah, and you smiled at me.

- I did.

I wish I'd said something.

- You did.

- Are they clean now?

You work on the pylons?

- Uh, yeah, I do. I check that they're safe.

Yeah, I like it. I get to move around a lot.

- A girl in every port.

- Yeah. That's not what it sounds like.

What does it sound like?

- I'm just not a great believer in love.

- You must have believed in it once upon a time.

- What is it?

- I want to look nice.

Not nice. Different.

- Get your lips pulled.

- But you can't do that 'cause that's not different.

She wants different!

- All right. I'm only standing here.

You still cutting hair?

- You carry scissors?

- I'm Polish. I have to be careful since Brexit.

Toilets in five.

- She wants Paris, not Poznan!

- Where's that?

- Have you ever been anywhere apart from here and Liverpool?

- Glan Clwyd.

- That's a hospital. Poznan, Poland.

My new fella's from there.

- Stop it!

- Look straight on.

- I know who Helen thought about having sex with.

I could do all the other stuff, but I couldn't eat one.

Oh. Ugh.

- Paula!

I want a flower.

Not the flower you're thinking of, but a good flower anyway.

- It's not like Helen is overtly, you know.

She's a bit prude-y.

- I'm just saying, if she wants it, she'll have to eat it.

- I couldn't, and I can eat most things.

- Stop it.

- Eat me, Paula.

Piss off!

- Eat me!

- What the blinkin' hell are you lot

pissing about with these for?

People have gotta eat them, you know!

Get them all picked up and stop it!

- No.

- Gary.

You won't intimidate me

by standing in your garden like a scarecrow on steroids.

- I'm a fucking time bomb, me!

A fucking time bomb!

- Did you ever give her a name?

- No. She remains unnamed and free.

I don't believe in wishes.

- Taraxacum.

Their name in Latin.

- What does it mean?

- A remedy for disorder.

What is the remedy for disorder?

- Love.

- You're beautiful.

- I'm not.

- You are.

- You don't know me.

- Yes, I do.

- I'm terrified all the time about everything.

- I know how it feels to be terrified.

Really?

Woo!

- Well, if we got together when we were 15,

I think we could have made it.

- I would've wooed you.

- I would've wooed you back with a song.

- A song?

- Yeah. Yeah, I would've.

I would've played you a song

and we would've lived happily ever after.

- You don't do happy ever after.

I want you to woo me.

What? You're a wooer, aren't you?

Do you want your teeth out?

- Leave them in.

Oh, it's nice.

- What is?

- The hair,

and hearing you having fun.

- Thank you

for being the mum I never had.

- Ah, no.

- I mean it.

I don't know what I'd have done without you.

- Now, would you bugger off?

- She's a fucking lesbian, her next door.

- No fucking way.

Why don't you cover his ears

so he doesn't hear all the ignorant shit you two spew out?

- Well, actually, Helen,

being parents gives us a natural in-stuition.

That's not even a word, Amy.

- Yeah, it fucking is!

It is a word, Gary.

- I know, babe. I know.

Paula!

- What is going on with those two?

- Oh.

- Still.

What?

- You.

Can I ask you a question?

- Yeah?

- Why no children?

- I couldn't carry past 12 weeks.

I tried four times and then I stopped trying.

- How did Captain Caveman let you get away with that?

- He didn't. He banished me to the baby room.

Move your foot, madame.

- I wrote you a love letter once.

- Mhm?

- I spent ages on it.

Drawing hearts and flowers and writing little poems.

Then he found it and he read it.

Tore it into tiny pieces. Told me how disgusting I was.

All I could think about was

how I was gonna put the letter back together.

The things I do to woo a woman.

Have you done it?

- What?

Go on.

- After all these years and everything that's happened,

she's always sat in here and I don't know why.

- Oh, yes, you do.

I think you do.

- What is love?

- Korma curry, fried rice,

and a cuddle with me kids on the sofa

while watching shit telly.

- Real love is someone who will, you know, do it

even if you haven't had a bath.

What are you on about?

Cuddling.

- It's the moment the air feels different.

You can breathe.

You feel bigger than anyone or anything,

and you can take down anything that gets in the way,

'cause you're one big mass of fucking emotion.

Ugh.

- The beautiful Helen Davis,

you are requested to meet Joanne Jones

at the top of Lovers' Lane at 11 this morning

so we can play.

I can't believe I just soddin' read that out.

- Ready?

- Mhm.

- Take the reins. Chuck chuck, baby.

- Why am I so nervous?

- Don't bother.

I have the face of death on me.

And you,

you have the face of birth.

Don't you bloody dare.

Now, you know where me papers are.

There's an envelope with your name on it.

It's me bingo cards.

Oh, I'll still be playing from the other side.

I've paid for a fast-track cremation.

I don't want to be pissing around

in some cold cubbyhole for two weeks.

- I don't want you to go.

- Do you remember the first time you knocked at my door?

- Yeah.

- It took you 15 minutes to find the courage,

but you knocked.

- I wish-

- No "I wish."

I wish.

Helen, stop wishing.

Tick, tock.

You're gonna be all right,

and me,

I'll be glad to see the back of myself.

- Can I please?

- Yeah. Take it.

- You know, first,

charity starts at home.

- Then what's your own?

- Ah. You know what I mean, love.

- Yeah. I'm not your love.

- You always were a mouthy little cow.

He should have kept you locked up.

- What did you say?

- You heard me.

- What did you fucking say?

Mad bitch!

- Hey, hey.

I can still see you lying on the floor, covered in piss.

It cost me two cans of lager, that did.

Yeah, your dad would do anything for a beer.

What was it he used to say about you?

It was worthless from birth.

Then your mum fucked off.

That's gotta be something, isn't it?

Yeah.

I wasn't the only one.

Nah, loads of us used to go and look at you.

You were good entertainment.

- You are a prick.

- Now, look around you.

Well, look around.

Do you know what they're all thinking?

Shall I tell you?

We have fences to keep filth like you out.

You are dirty and you are fucking filth.

Yeah, that's better. Yeah.

Can't escape from what you are around here. No way.

Go ahead and pack a bag, you know?

Nobody wants you!

You're bring down the frickin' tone.

Fuck!

- Just a bit.

- Helen, you gotta get yourself home, love.

Come on. Get yourself off home.

- Gwen has passed to the other side,

though she still remains upstairs in body.

- Why didn't you wait for me?

- Can you wake her up please, Helen?

Wake her up.

Mum?

Mum?

- See you in a minute.

Just us.

- You okay?

She's devastated.

Have you even seen her?

You know, I wondered why you came back,

and I thought something in your voice had changed

when I told you I worked with her.

- I can't.

I can't do it,

in here.

- It's no life, Joanne, the way you live.

You're breaking your own bloody heart.

Come on.

Come.

- You should have been here,

not running around with her.

I saw her packing her car today.

Are you gonna go with her?

She asked you to.

Well, my mum's dead now so you can go.

- I'm sorry about Gwen.

- Were you thinking of telling me

or were you just gonna leave?

- What do you want, Helen?

- I want you.

- Well, I have to go.

What?

I can't breathe here.

- I don't understand. Has something happened?

- Has something happened?

This has happened and this has happened!

This whole fucking place!

Look at the two of us.

We're fucked up. It's too late.

It's too late.

- Why are you saying that?

- Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you believe in things.

I'm a fuck-up, Helen.

I can't get away from it.

I'm always gonna be this girl,

and you are always gonna be desperate.

- Please stop.

- Christ, you're so desperate,

you've ended up living in your dead baby's room

and you're fucking grateful for it.

- What's she doing?

Come here.

- This is my mum's funeral,

and you're not invited.

I said you're not invited!

- It's all right. She's going.

- Good.

Good slags.

- Oh, put a sock in it for once, Gary.

- You shut your mouth.

- You fucking-

- Paula, look.

- She's going.

- There's a good dog.

Off you go. Off you pop.

- Disgrace! - Paula!

- I'm not fucking scared of you! Come on!

- You want some? You want some?

- Come on! Stop your crying!

I don't wanna look at you crying!

- Do you want another beer? Here.

- Yeah. - Here you go.

- Yeah.

- Big softy, hey?

Want a tissue?

- What the hell are you doing here?

- Apparently, the emotions between two women are so intense,

it's like doggy time, as in years.

So that's...

That's nearly four months in doggy time,

so it's understandable how you're feeling, Helen.

That and Gwen.

- Hey.

- It's okay.

- Come on. - Oh.

You're all right. Come on.

Come on, Helen. You're all right.

- It's all right.

- Now that Gwen has departed,

Gary and I need to build a dutiful nest for baby Jacob-Rees.

That fucked-up woman didn't want you.

- What?

- I could've told you that.

I used to hear her next door, rattling on the bars,

saying, "Let me out!"

You should thank me for getting rid of her,

'cause she would've fucked you up.

- What did you do?

- I just reminded her of what she was.

- What is wrong with you?

You've had the easiest path, Gary.

Look at you, choking in your own anger and bitterness!

Why are you so fucking angry? Why are you angry with me?

Be careful you don't get worn down by this man.

- You never gave me what I wanted!

- What are you on about, Gary?

- Three nights, she's been gone, and not a bloody word.

- She's got a name!

What's mine, hey?

- Where is she?

- We don't know.

- Go and bloody find her.

Go.

It's one of those mornings!

Get packing, girls.

- Just staying at home.

It's a beautiful day in the northwest. Enjoy the sunshine.

- What the fuck are you doing?

- I'm not being funny,

but can someone grab that creepy doll?

- Yeah.

You're coming home with me.

I've got three kids who hate me,

so I could do with the support

I've got no doubt she came back for you, Helen.

She just couldn't see it through.

- That doesn't mean you needed rescuing, Helen.

- No. You just needed your flower eaten.

- Paula.

- Her flower?

- Gwen's bingo cards.

- House. Gwen's left you the house.

- Oh my God.

Fucking bingo!

- Yes! - Oh my God, Helen!

- Oh my God, Helen.

- Tiring of the sleeping monsters, Jo?

What?

Normally, you up those beasts.

Where's your bloody hat?

- What color are we having, Helen?

I like them all, apart from the green.

- You pick one, Amy.

- Thank you.

I quite like the burnt clay.

Sparkles, maybe.

I haven't seen you for years, Barbara.

Well, I haven't been anywhere except for here.

- Are you sure?

- Have you seen that there?

- I dunno what's happening. - Have we met before?

- What's happening?

- I have no idea.

- Maybe it was a storm.

- What fence panel is yours, Barbara?

- Helen the House, everyone!

- How many times have you put that key in the door and gone,

"Shit, this is mine"?

- I reckon we've packed over 10 million chickens

since we've been here.

That's 40 million dinners on people's tables,

and I wonder if those 40 million people ever think of us.

- Have you really been counting the chickens all this time?

- Because those 40 million people

are eating food from our hands,

hands that we used to wipe our arse, play with ourselves.

That's why they make us wear sodding gloves.

Paula.

- Hi.

I wish I'd given you this a long time ago.

I had to knock a few things down before I could.

I want to say so many things.

- I don't want it.

- Please look at it.

You've always been with me.

I didn't think that I could love, but I can,

because I love you.

- I can't do this.

- We can be so much more than what they think we are.

No. Helen.

- You were right.

It is too late.

- Helen.

Helen.

- Give that to Gary.

I know Gwen wouldn't mind.

Yes!

Come on!

- So where do we go now?

Onto our happy ever after?

- We go onto the beginning.

Yes!

Ah, yes!