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Brought into question

much of senator mcglory's past dealings with the committee.

He accused the senator of evading the main issues

and trivializing the campaign.

Councilor rocca's theme is centered on family,

particularly senator mcglory's.

The other issues which keep reappearing

concern the senator's position on welfare cuts,

political funding disclosure, health...

What have you got for me?

Marce.

Senator.

Hope you've got good news for your favorite politician,

something to get us out of our little... ahem... slump.

Hey, look, I'm on TV.

I don't think that's going to be a problem.

No, I think I've made myself very clear on that,

and the issue is clear,

and I think Mr. laren knows it's clear

and so does the congressman.

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, what the hell, huh?

I said take care of this. When? A week ago!

Next time, you're fired.

Come on! We're trying to win a goddamn election here.

Who's on the phone, marce?

That guy.

What guy?

You know, that guy.

Talks about that thing we were going to do.

That thing for us.

Better not be a personal call.

How could it be a personal call?

I don't have a personal life.

Asshole.

Senator, hey.

Wait.

I look good, don't I?

Look, I got a great idea.

You have to trust me on this, but you trust me, right?

No.

No? I don't know where to go from there.

Yeah. I trust you. I'm kidding. What is it?

Uh, forget the family values thing, all right?

Rocca's digging that particular trench

very, very deep.

I have a great idea

and The right person to bring it off.

Marcy... Come on.

How's the hangover?

Hi, marce.

Hi.

You ever wanted to go to Ireland?

No. Wrong answer.

I think the word we're looking for here is "yes."

Yes. Why?

We are going to follow my destiny.

I don't know what that means.

Nick?

It means that you are going to follow his destiny.

Excuse me?

Which way to board air a-airwrong?

Aer arann? Arann.

Just straight over there.

Thank you.

Oh, it's the little baby planelette.

That's not good.

That's not good.

Careful!

Man: There's yours.

Excuse me?

Right.

Do you have any idea how i can get to ball-i-na-gra?

Ballinagra? Ballinagra.

Ballinagra, that's right.

Personally, I would try the bus out there

with "ballinagra" written on the front.

But I'd hurry because it's leaving right now.

Shit!

Run! Run!

Wait! Wait! Wait!

Wait!

Marcy: Arrgh.

Oh, here she is.

Mrs. late!

Mrs. late, i call her.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Man: And off we go, ladies.

Ooh! Sorry!

Man: Come on, now, ladies. Open up those lungs.

♪ Oh, Danny boy ♪

♪ the pipes, the pipes ♪

♪ are callin' ♪

♪ from Glen to Glen ♪

♪ and down the mountainside ♪

♪ the sun is gone ♪

Come on. Cheer up.

Is that the beginning of a smile I see?

I think it is.

Is that a little smile on its way?

Oh, come on. Let your smile come out to play, huh?

Huh?

Jesus Christ, Michael.

Grandma fucking clampett's on the bus.

Man: Which is why we call it "Trevor's hole."

Ah, yes, Ireland, land of mystery,

land of stones, land of tears,

land of fish.

A land of shops and places to go.

A land where the voices of the dead

whistle through the trees and the streets,

and the past reaches out and touches your very soul.

There were some quite attractive ones

on that bus, weren't there?

Watch that car.

Woman: Watch the car.

Car! Watch the car!

Marcy: Uh, excuse me?

Excuse me, this is going to sound a little odd,

but do men and women have to travel separately

in Ireland?

What? No. It's for the festival.

This is my third.

What festival?

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

Oh! Is anyone hurt, ladies?

Get that door open!

Open it up. Come on.

Michael: Declan?

Declan?

Michael, you little bollocks!

Aah! Ohh!

What are you doing in there?

Aah! Unh!

Who in the hell ever gave you

a bus license, Michael?

You did.

Come on. Come on. Pull it.

Careful!

Come on! Come on!

Come on!

Ladies and gentlemen, i am a matchmaker.

Now, not a maker of matches

which are the wooden kind of matches

with the inflammable heads, no.

A maker of matches...

That are the human kind of matches.

You know, where 2 people hit it off together,

go away, and get married.

I can see where people make the mistake

of going away and getting married...

Oh, bollocks!

Start again. Start again.

Cheaper down the road.

Oh, hello.

Hi.

Do you mind just doing the bar stock

till Declan comes?

He'll be a little bit late. Thanks.

Joe, upstairs with that ball. You know that.

Joe: Yeah. All right, mum.

You've done them. Great. Ok, so 3 and 4,

and just the first floor upstairs.

Hello, Kelly's. Yes?

No! No! No!

No! No! No! Get...

you... you better run!

Yeah, please. Thanks.

Ugh. Urine.

Hello. Sorry about the wait.

Got my hands full during the festival.

Yes. Listen, I know this is short notice,

but do you have any rooms available?

Oh, no.

Anything at all?

No, not a thing. Totally full.

You've got the brains of a rat.

You can think of nothing?

Totally full.

The other hotels... Any vacancies?

Well, I know the shoreham is full.

Bettina? Yeah?

Has the maitland any rooms?

No. No, i don't think so.

It's mad busy with the festival.

I understand that, but I'm in a bind.

If you don't mind something a little bijou,

i might have one.

I love bijou. Bijou is excellent for me.

Bijou.

Oh, sorry.

I hate these awkward silences.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't know there was anybody in here.

I thought this was my bathroom.

- This is My bathroom. - This is my Bathroom.

Yeah, sure. Yeah, it is.

I mean, you're welcome to join me if you like.

Oh, in your dreams, paddy.

Do you know how long you're going to be in here?

Oh, come on. We're not all paddies.

You're right.

I'm sorry. It was very insensitive of me.

What is your name?

Sean's me name.

Sean, I've had a really, really bad day,

so if you could give me a ballpark estimate

on how long you're going to be in there,

I'd really appreciate it.

I'd say I'll be 5 minutes, I'd say,

and then the dog, and then yourself.

It's your dog.

Did he learn that little trick from you?

You mean...

you didn't piss on her luggage, did you?

Did you piss on her luggage?

Huh?

You pissed on her luggage? You did?

Yes.

Hello. I need to dial out to Boston

from the smallest fucking room in the world!

Hello?

Hello?

Yeah?

Hello? It's Marcy.

Yeah. It's Marcy.

Hey, marce! How you doing over there?

Yeah?

How are my people doing?

Your people?

Yeah. The Irish, you know.

The Irish.

Ah, yes. They speak of you all the time.

What the fuck are you telling me?

You're fucking telling me

it's already in the fucking papers?!

How's things going over there?

Fuck you! Aah!

Everyone's a hundred percent behind me.

You know, it's going to take me a day or two

to sort things out over here.

I'll tell you something. To be honest, Marcy,

this little trip you're taking, it turns out

it may be a little more important

than we originally thought.

I've gotta go.

Actually, it may turn out to be crucial.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

I think we're in the toilet here.

We're counting on you.

We're fucking counting on you.

Ow.

Aah! Don't! Eww!

God!

Don't get up.

Come on.

Matchmaking...

How is it done?

Ohh, that would be telling you.

But once it's happening, you know it's happening.

Out of nothing,

i create the perfect match.

A match made in heaven!

And the figures prove it! Now, hold on a second.

As you can see here,

the perfectly happy couples, represented by the green line,

just shoot off the scale...

Where the acrimonious divorced couples,

represented by the orange line, are relatively low.

Now, here we have the relationships pie.

Love, having a laugh, eating, and sex.

Paddy! What are you doing here?

This is my room.

Why were you in my bathroom?

Because I like your bathroom better.

So why don't you just stay in that room?

The room's too small.

It is, isn't it?

Listen, I'm not a prude, I swear.

It's just that I'm so jet-lagged,

and I just want to go to sleep.

Excuse me?

There's a really loud banging noise

coming out of your room

and going right into my room.

Oh, right. I was just rubbing Murphy.

His stomach. I was just... his stomach.

Oh! Oh! I see.

I thought that, you know...

you thought...

yeah. Ha ha ha!

If you don't mind.

Ohh.

Wow. He must really like that dog.

You little slut.

I'm sorry?

I said good morning.

Oh. Good morning.

I've got the very girl for you.

Ah, good man.

Good morning.

Joe, off the phone and tidy up.

Bettina? Will you start downstairs

and work your way up?

I have to go to the hospital

to get that husband of mine.

What happened?

Fell off the bus yesterday.

Broke his leg.

Anything to get out of work.

How's your room?

It is certainly bijou, isn't it?

Declan, what are you doing here?

I was just going to meet you.

Oh, I couldn't stay in that kip of a hospital

another second.

Well, watch it. Sean, will you help him?

I will.

Sean! Sean! Sean!

Declan, all right. It was just a joke.

Declan, there's guests. Come upstairs.

You sort it out later.

Fill that out quick as you like,

and we'll see what we can do for you.

All these fecking questions?

I'm just looking for a ride, dermot!

I'm not trying to join

the u.N. Fecking peacekeeping force!

Right. Marriage is a lifelong commitment.

Tony there, you'd never think it,

but he used to be quite the ladies' man.

The mammy just died.

Left him a lovely little farm near limerick.

The good news is he's single.

What do you think?

You want to take him for a test drive?

No.

No. No, well, maybe not Tony.

I got lots of clients. A lot of them around your age.

Oh, you will slay them.

I'll even charge you the widow rate.

I'm that confident.

I don't mean to be rude, but who are you?

Tony: "What is your favorite color?"

Dermot, what kind of shite is this?

Dermot o'brien. I'm the local matchmaker.

There is a small fee involved.

I don't have a favorite color!

Jesus! Who has a favorite color?!

Tony, calm down.

I'll tell you me favorite color!

Bollocks! That's me favorite color!

Excuse me.

Tony, a lot of people have favorite colors.

What's your favorite color?

I don't have a fecking favorite color!

I see you met dermot then.

Yes, I did.

You pay a little bit more for dermot

'cause he throws in a half-price turbo suntan.

Course, he owns the turbo suntan.

Listen, you don't look like you're desperate

to meet Mr. right.

Is there anything i can help you with?

Yes, there is, actually.

I am trying to trace

the genealogy of a friend.

You know, find relatives,

things of that nature.

Do you know where i could do that?

Well, you could try the souvenir shop.

Hurry up, you two. Come on.

Good morning.

Hi. How are you?

I'm not sure I'm in the right place.

You're from America, aren't you?

Yes, I am.

I'm trying to trace...

what part? Boston.

I knew it! Ha ha! Yeah.

I'm trying to trace

the family of a man named John mcglory.

Ah, yeah. Follow me.

Ah, now, you've come to the right place,

all right.

This way. See?

Ah, yes!

Right.

Well, how many do you want?

Oh, gosh, all of them.

The family moved to Boston from this area

some years back.

The mcglorys?

Right. And I cannot emphasize this enough,

expediency is key. I need this information quickly.

Okey-dokey.

Now, I think we've established a rapport,

and I do value your company,

so I hope you won't be offended now

if I bring up that awful subject...

The fee.

Of course.

Oh, a vulgar, vulgar business.

Nice doing business with you.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

Bye.

A lot of things go into making the perfect relationship,

but all these things come under the one banner

of spiritual compatibility.

A beautiful thing

that follows no set rules or criteria.

But you can rest assured of one thing...

your chances are greater

if you have a gorgeous turbo suntan.

Before...

And after.

Morning.

Tony, you look fabulous.

No, seriously.

Michael, normally, I'd slap you silly

for putting Tony under the lamp

for a record-breaking 45 minutes,

but the results speak for themselves.

Excuse me?

Hi.

Eh, yes? How can I help?

I need a favor.

Get him into the shower

before he peels all over the floor.

I think I know what you're here for.

Honestly, no offense,

but I do not want to get married.

Why not? It's the most natural thing in the world.

You're not married. I don't see a ring.

Well, no. It's not a natural thing for me,

i have to say.

I'm too busy sorting it out

for everybody else.

Anyway, that's not what I want.

If I was a nice-looking American woman

like yourself...

Thanks.

I'd be dying to get married.

I'd be up the walls. I'd be mad for it.

It's not natural for me, either. Believe me.

Hey, what about this place?

Bad place. A bad woman lives there.

It looks perfect.

False fecking advertising.

Woman: Hey! Hey! Out! Out!

Private property! Come on, out!

Will you catch yourself on, Millie?

This is my bar.

The management reserves the right

to refuse admission to old farts,

and you have the right to a kick in the ass

if you don't get out of here quick.

Eloquently put.

How about this, then? Fuck off.

If you want a real matchmaker, love,

call me.

Stick it up your ass.

Stick it up your own ass.

Stick it up your ass.

Usually the banter's a bit wittier.

Must be the hormones.

Don't be shy, love.

I matchmade her.

She'll be married tomorrow.

Can I make an announcement?

Certainly.

Everyone pay attention!

Our American guest

would like to make an announcement.

Thank you. Hello!

Firstly, let me just say

it's wonderful to be here in Ireland.

I'm from America...

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I am representing an American senator

who is searching for his Irish ancestors

who resided here in ballinagra

approximately 3 generations ago.

So, looking up the senator's roots.

There must be an election coming up.

He just wants to find his ancestors.

His ancestors?

Do you mean like

all those other American politicians

who come over

trying to secure the Irish vote?

Those ancestors?

Cynical!

Can't a senator find his family

without it being politically motivated?

Nope.

Maybe his ancestors were leprechauns.

Now, that would be good, wouldn't it?

How you doing?

That would get the leprechaun vote.

They can't vote.

Too small. Can't reach the ballot box.

Maybe he could be there. Give them a hand.

Lift them up.

Seeing he has so much Irish blood and all.

Yeah. Did you want something?

No?

Bye.

Ladies and gentlemen,

if I could have your attention, please.

We've got this lovely little lady

here from America

who'd like to have a few words.

Now, give her a big hand

because she needs a lot of encouragement.

Here she is now. Isn't she lovely?

And I'm sure we all wish her

the best of luck in finding a husband.

Hooray!

Thank you. Hi!

My name is Marcy,

and I'm representing an American senator,

an important man...

Thanks. Hi!

♪ I'm representing an American senator ♪

♪ an important man ♪

♪ a future American president ♪

Who's in search of his Irish ancestors

who resided in ballinagra

approximately 3 generations ago

and moved to Boston.

"If you know of the mcglorys,

"would you please be at Kelly's hotel

"at 4 P.M. today.

Thank you." Ha ha ha!

♪ Great setting, it is urgent ♪

♪ at 4 P.M., Kelly's today ♪

Don't forget. 4 P.M.

Thank you. The matter is urgent.

Well done. Didn't she do well?

Didn't she? Wasn't that lovely?

What a lovely little lady, and a lovely speaking voice.

Well done. Hooray!

Remember, 4:00 today, Kelly's. Thank you.

You see, the rich American women,

they love the long langers.

Hi. Good turnout.

Great turnout!

Funny how it's all men, though.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Hi.

Good afternoon. Thank you for coming.

But if anyone is here just to propose to me,

you should leave now, because this has nothing to do

with the matchmaking festival.

Um...

Did you say that anyone who wants to propose

should stay here?

No. I said everyone who wants to propose

should leave now.

Hard luck, Jimmy.

Ah, worth a go.

Cheers.

That's it, Jimmy.

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Sean. Sean. Come here.

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha...

You know what? Your laughter is really irritating me.

Ha ha ha!

I'm sorry. You're funny.

You think? Yeah.

I have a really funny idea.

Why don't you take one of those bottles back there...

I can't tonight. I'm busy.

O'Connor: Sorry. Closed.

Hi! It's me! How are we doing on my friend?

Your friend?

Senator mcglory.

Oh, right!

I'm afraid no luck there now.

It'll be a few weeks now, to be honest.

No! A few weeks, that's too long.

Listen, I'm sorry about the wait and everything,

but with the festival and everything...

Well, I mean, things have been very busy.

Try again when you've got the...

When you've got the...

Tomorrow morning.

Thank you.

Senator mcglory!

Yes, yes, I hate you all.

When I'm president, I'll have you all killed.

What are you guys laughing at? Hello?

Nick, hey, it's Marcy.

How's rocca doing over there?

He's on the front page of the herald.

Apparently he had an affair with a cocker spaniel.

How do you think he's doing? He's kicking our ass!

May I speak to the senator, please?

Hang on. Senator, Marcy. Thank you.

Hey, marce!

Hey, John. You are not going to believe this,

but I have landed smack in the middle

of a matchmaking festival.

Oh, marce.

This is going to be a lot tougher than we thought.

Look, rocca is really kicking my ass here

with this family values thing.

You've gotta think positive.

Think Jack Kennedy.

Don't... don't latch on to this Jack Kennedy dream

because I'll tell you something, they don't even...

Don't even barely remember the man.

Well, don't let me down here, marce.

If we play our cards right,

I'm gonna end up like Kennedy, ok?

Ok.

Only, you know, alive.

Ok, I'm gonna go now.

Right.

Bye.

Hey, Marcy, come have a drink.

No, thank you.

You might as well.

What's this about Sean not working tonight?

He worked all day.

Is he the one with the broken leg?

You're working tonight, Sean, you lazy little bollocks.

God almighty.

If their mother was still alive,

she'd kill herself.

They're brothers?

Oh, calm down, pet, will you?

I have to get him to bed in a minute.

You know that.

Actually, you look like you could use the drink.

You know what I could use, Marcy? A gun.

I could really use a gun.

All right... What's that?

Oh, for god's sake.

Your hair looks great, love. Did you get it done today?

They drive you to drink.

Of course, he had to come back.

I thought he was doing well.

We were reading his stuff in the papers.

That guy's a journalist?

I thought so.

Now he seems to be our fecking barman.

I mean, why would you give up

a good career like that to...

to chase your brother around the hotel

like an idiot?!

What's the problem?

They're just brothers, that's all.

When they're apart, they're both great.

Together, they have

the combined mental age of 12.

Anyway, how are you getting on?

Not good. I'm getting nervous.

I was told you couldn't throw a rock around here

without hitting a mcglory.

Well, you got a shitload of rocks out there,

not a lot of mcglorys.

Maybe you'd find a few at the dance tonight.

Why don't you have a bit of crack?

Crack?

Ah, yeah, it's brilliant crack.

I'm assuming by "crack"

you do not mean incredibly hard drugs.

No. It just means having a laugh.

Ha ha ha!

She's a lovely girl.

Heh heh heh.

Hiya, Marcy. You made it.

It's in full swing. You'll have a great time.

Whiskey, please.

Thanks.

♪ Lyndsey was my first love ♪

♪ she was in my class ♪

♪ I would have loved to take her out ♪

♪ but I was too shy to ask... ♪

Hi.

Still think it's a joke, all this?

No. Of course not.

Listen, you've got to understand,

it's hard to come on like David niven

when your nearest neighbor lives 5 miles away,

and it's probably another man.

See, all I do is get people together

in a nice, friendly atmosphere

where they can talk

and see if they feel ok with each other.

You get 2 lonely people together sometimes...

And it's like they've known each other all their lives.

Man: Hey, dermot!

Nice face.

Pint, please. Funny, isn't it?

So...

Your senator must be desperate

to get you on a job like this.

He's not desperate.

He just wants to find his family.

Has he looked in his house?

They might be there.

What is your problem? Why does it bother you

that a man is trying to trace his ancestors?

Don't dress it up. It's show business.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Please. That is such a lazy cliché.

What are you going to say next, all politicians are the same?

All politicians are The same.

Mm-hmm.

Is being an idiot like being high all the time?

No. It's like constantly being right.

You know?

I'm going to the bathroom.

Have a nice time.

♪ I fell for her one summer ♪

♪ on the road to liverpool... ♪

Mmm! Oh!

Dutch courage.

Don't tell Millie.

I won't.

I think this is about the right amount.

Any more and I'll...

Suffer from a personality change.

Do we have a bet this year?

Of course.

All right, so 50 pounds says you can't sort out

Sean and the yankee woman.

Do I detect a lack of twinkle?

'Cause I think you lost the twinkle

there for a second.

It'll take a lot more than that

to make me lose anything.

All right, it's a bet.

And how about this? A hundred pounds.

Done.

Bollocks.

Hey, would you...

fuck off!

Off I go!

Ha ha ha!

I knew you two would be great together

the first moment I saw you.

Oh, before you go, though,

just come here for a minute.

Ooh! Aah!

What in god's name

did you do that for, dermot?

In every good relationship, there's always a moment

when you both bend over to pick up something

and end up clunking your heads together.

It's best to get it out of the way.

Excuse me.

Listen, this mcglory thing,

i may know someone who can help you out.

Ohh, great!

There's a fella lives in inishmore...

it's one of the aran islands...

called O'Hara.

He's full of stories and information about this area.

I think he's your man.

Tremendous. How do i get in touch with him?

Now, there's no ferry,

so you'll have to get somebody to bring you over.

Just leave it to me.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

Ah, sure, i couldn't refuse you.

Just be by the pier tomorrow morning at 10:00.

I'll have something sorted out.

You got it. Thank you. See you later.

You're welcome. Bye-bye.

Excuse me. Hi.

Dermot o'brien might have arranged...

dermot fecking o'brien?

Look, I'm not interested in getting married.

I'm not interested at all... at all.

Tell him I'm gay or something, will ya?

No, you don't understand.

Oh, god, another fecking yank as well!

Who am I, huh?

Aristotle o-fecking-nassis, huh?

Honest to god, i don't know.

You'd have more sense than getting married.

Enough grief in the world

without adding to it.

Hi. Hi.

Dermot said you wanted me

to give you a lift to the aran islands.

I am all right with that.

I just wondered why me in particular?

I don't want you in particular.

Where is that ferry going?

The aran islands.

Of course it is.

You want a hand with that?

No, I got it.

Here, let me give you a hand.

No. I can do it.

I can get it!

Just come here.

Ow!

You all right?

Yeah.

I hope this guy's as knowledgeable

as dermot says he is.

I'd say he is. I've heard of him.

These old fellas know everything.

Mr. O'Hara!

Oh, fecking tourists!

We'd like to talk to you.

Aah! Oh, my god!

He's crazy!

He just threw a rock at me!

He threw a rock at you?!

He threw a rock at both of us!

Well, say something in Irish to him!

Maybe he'll like you better! Speak Irish!

What do you mean, "speak Irish"?

Me speak Irish to him?

Marcy: Oh! Oh, that's the "come in" gesture.

That's good.

I hope so. Murphy.

What did you say to him?

I, uh...

I asked him if I could use his toilet.

Impressive.

Well, it's the one bit of Irish

every schoolkid has to know

'cause if you don't... well, if you don't say it in Irish,

then you don't get out of the class,

if you don't get out of class, you go in your pants.

If you go in your pants, you're in trouble.

Ok. I got it.

It's not very nice if you go in your pants.

I got it.

'Tis in there.

Actually, I'll hold on to it.

I thought you might, aye.

Well, what do you want?

Dermot o'brien said you might be able to help me.

Oh, he did, did he?

And leave that alone!

This is no fecking museum, you know!

What do you want?

I'm looking for a family called the mcglorys

who moved to Boston a long time ago.

"A long time ago."

Oh, Jesus, that's a great help. That really narrows it down.

Tell me. Is that fella dermot o'brien

still conning tourists into marrying complete strangers?

I take it you've never had need of his services?

Feck off. Me and Eileen, childhood sweethearts.

Ah, god, I miss her sometimes. That's her there.

Oh, pretty. I'm sorry. When did she pass away?

What? Oh, Jesus, she's not dead!

She's away on her holidays!

Oh, god, I'm sorry! I misun...

ha ha! God, that's priceless!

Oh, jeez, I must remember that. Ha ha!

Will you have some coffee? You will, you will.

Now, where was I? Oh, the mcglorys, aye!

Now, there's no mcglorys in this area, no,

but one group went to Australia,

and another group, they ended up in liverpool,

but no mcglorys ever went from here to Boston.

I'm surprised at dermot now,

didn't pass this information onto you himself.

Sure, Jesus,

didn't I tell him all this on the phone last night?

Cappuccino?

The matchmaker's ethics...

Marcy: What am I doing here?

Why have I come?

You're trying to find an Irish family

so that an American politician

can be filmed drinking guinness with them.

World-shattering stuff.

Oh, it is a bit more relevant than that.

Do you think tending bar in a tasteless shirt

is a more profound and valid way

to spend your time?

Yes, I do think that tending bar in a tasteless shirt

is a more profound and valid use of my time.

Yes, I do. That's why I do it.

I like the world just the way it is, thank you.

No way. You couldn't be content

with the way of the world.

You just couldn't.

If you were, I'd be forced to hate you.

Aha!

So you don't hate me.

I always think that the basis for any friendship

is that the 2 people don't hate each other.

Yeah?

Listen, you know, it's going to be dark soon.

I think we're going to have to stay here on the island.

Ok, wait a minute.

This isn't some plan

you're in on with dermot, right?

What do you mean, "plan"? What kind of plan?

You know, the matchmaking festival.

That's not my style. You really think...

you have a style? Ha ha! Ok.

All right, thanks very much.

Ha ha!

So why'd you quit being a journalist?

Jesus, that Sarah.

You could park a car in her mouth

if she held it still long enough.

So, why'd you...

listen, don't flatter me with that journalist shit, ok?

I was just a PR man for anybody kind enough

to send me a press release, you know?

Sounds kind of cushy. Why would you give that up?

Things rarely go

according to one's youthful heroic master plans, do they?

Hmm.

Sometimes, it's not only easier

to walk away from something,

it's also the right thing to do, you know?

Yeah.

Sometimes the easy way out's the right way out, yeah?

I can see that.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

Mm-hmm.

I'm sorry.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. You startled me.

I'm dating an American in America.

I'm seeing somebody myself.

We wouldn't want dermot

to succeed so easily, would we?

Absolutely not.

I'm sorry. Don't worry. It's fine. No problem.

That's all right.

I just wanted... You know...

I am just so thrilled

not to be stuck in that office right now.

This is great.

Whoo-hoo!

I hate my job!

Marcy, hey!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo!

Marcy! Marcy!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Aah!

Oh, shit!

You all right?

You ok?

Hi!

Could we please have the 2 largest whiskies

you've ever poured in your life?

And also, where is your phone?

Over there.

Thank you. Down.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

You ok? Yes, I'm fine.

Sure, now? Yeah.

No, thanks.

She looks a heavy carry.

No, no. Sure, no. Not at all, no.

Hi. I need to make a collect call, please,

to the states.

Massachusetts.

How you doing?

Marcy on line 5, senator.

I'll take it in my office.

Marcy, where the hell are you?

The aran islands.

Where? The aran islands.

Where the hell is that?

It's off the coast. Listen, I'm stuck here tonight,

but that gives me another opportunity tomorrow

to do some more investigating.

But I must warn you, it does not look likely

that any mcglorys went from ballinagra to Boston.

I'm sorry.

No, listen, marce, you don't understand.

They did.

The old man told me. They definitely did.

I mean, where the hell do I come from?

I must have come from somewhere!

I wasn't made in a laboratory!

I'm a United States senator!

I understand that.

I'm trying, and I will continue to try.

Yeah, I know. I know you've done your best.

Absolutely no mcglorys.

Complete mcglory-free zone.

All right. Plan 2.

Plan b?

Plan b, 2, whatever.

Plan b-2? What the hell is that?

All right, listen up. Here's what you're gonna do.

I can't do this.

I couldn't help overhearing your American accent.

Are you just visiting here?

Yeah, I am.

We were wondering if you could do us a favor.

We can't decide who's the best singer here.

Could you judge?

Oh, no.

It's a sort of tradition that a single girl decides.

We don't often get girls as attractive as yourself here.

Ohh...

Oh, go on. Why wouldn't you?

Sure it is a great judge that you'd be,

and you from the land of Perry Mason and all.

This isn't a "humiliate the tourist"

scenario, is it?

No.

Ok, then you do it.

Has to be a single girl.

Ok. What do I do?

Good girl yourself.

♪ In 1841 ♪

♪ my corduroy breeches i put on ♪

♪ my corduroy breeches i put on ♪

♪ to work upon the railway ♪

♪ in 1848, I learnt to drink my whiskey straight ♪

♪ learnt to drink my whiskey straight ♪

♪ working on the railway ♪

♪ Low lie the fields of athenry ♪

♪ where once we watched the small, free birds fly ♪

♪ our love was on the wing ♪

♪ we had dreams and songs to sing ♪

♪ it's so lonely by the fields of athenry ♪

Whoo!

Well, what do you think?

Oh, i...

is it too late to enter?

♪ On raglan road on an Autumn day ♪

♪ I first saw her, and I knew ♪

♪ that her dark hair would weave a snare ♪

♪ that I might one day rue ♪

♪ I saw the danger ♪

♪ yet I walked along the enchanted way ♪

♪ so I said, let grief ♪

♪ be a fallen leaf ♪

♪ at the dawning of the day ♪

♪ and the queen of hearts, she's still makin' tarts ♪

♪ and I'm not making hay ♪

♪ but I've loved too much ♪

♪ by such, by such ♪

♪ of happiness thrown away ♪

Give us some lights there, will ya?

Now you'll have to choose a winner.

Oh, god. Well, what does the winner get?

A kiss from the judge.

♪ Why don't you stay ♪

♪ Stay a while with your own ones ♪

♪ for this world is so cold ♪

♪ why don't you stay and share ♪

♪ with your own ones ♪

Hmm.

Ah, the winner...

Tough decision.

The winner.

Crowd: Whoo!

Hey, listen, I know I'm not the greatest singer...

no, no, no. Stop there.

You are... and I don't believe this will come

as a surprise to you...

one of the worst singers I've ever heard.

But it was very sweet.

Listen...

I'm... I'll see you in the morning. Ok?

Sean: Murphy.

Quiet now!

Woman: ♪ do you remember that sunny day? ♪

♪ Somewhere in London ♪

♪ in the middle of nowhere ♪

♪ didn't have nothing to do that day ♪

Wrong room.

♪ Didn't want to do nothing anyway ♪

Oh, god!

Oh, god!

Man: ♪ you've got a way of walkin' ♪

Woman: ♪ you've got a way of talking ♪

Man: ♪ and there's something about you ♪

Woman: ♪ and now I know I never ever want to be without you ♪

Hi. I was hoping to collect

the rest of my first prize.

Both: ♪ I want to be haunted by the ghost ♪

♪ I want to be haunted by the ghost ♪

Woman: ♪ of your precious love ♪

We have to talk.

Absolutely.

Man: ♪ first time I saw you ♪

♪ standing in the street ♪

♪ you were so cool you could have put out Vietnam ♪

Wow. He must really like that dog.

Yeah.

Woman: ♪ kind of shy... ♪

Wow, it is so beautiful here!

If I could just get the New York times,

it would be perfect.

Oh, you could never live here.

What makes you say that?

You're a big city kind of girl.

You're... you're Mary Tyler Moore.

Oh, yes, I'm so very Mary Tyler Moore.

Everyone says so.

It's like you need to be hooked up to the city,

otherwise your batteries go flat.

Ok, so I'm like a battery-operated

Mary Tyler Moore.

If you flatter me any more,

I'm going to have to toss your pale Irish ass

off the side of this boat.

Look at you, you're jumping all over the place.

I'm not! Ha ha ha!

Can't you just relax?

Take it all in, sure!

You know what it is? I... i feel disconnected.

I can't use my cell phone. I can't check my messages.

There's no overnight mail service.

My computer is useless here.

It's... i... i long to fax someone.

I have a fax.

You do?

Man: ♪ you got a way of walking ♪

Woman: ♪ you got a way of talking... ♪

Don't go home, Sean!

Don't go home!

Woman: ♪ he's my kind of guy ♪

Man: ♪ and now I know I never, ever want to be without you ♪

Jesus.

Woman: ♪ I want to be haunted by the ghost ♪

♪ I want to be haunted by the ghost ♪

Man: ♪ I want to be haunted by the ghost ♪

♪ I want to be haunted by the ghost ♪

Woman: ♪ now I know I never, ever want to be without you... ♪

This is my house.

Nice.

It's lovely. Come on.

And when I'm not working in the bar,

i do a bit of work here.

What are you working on now?

A little piece.

Is it all about me?

Is it? Oh, maybe.

Can I read it?

If you're nice to me.

Oh, I've been very nice to you.

Hi, baby.

What are you doing here?

Well, don't get too emotional. I might just start crying.

Uh, moira Kelly.

Hi. Marcy. Moira Kelly?

Yeah. Yeah. I'm his wife.

Listen, I'm sorry if I've come at a bad time.

You haven't. I have.

We're separated.

Great. Great.

I'm sorry. I'm going. This happened last time.

I just keep popping up at bad moments.

No, really.

I'm so busy. I have so much work to do.

We wouldn't want a repeat of last time.

Nice meeting you.

Stay. Hold on. Marcy, come back.

Marcy! Marcy!

What are you doing here, moira?

Well, I just thought i might give up my job

and work as a bartender for a while.

Stay out of my business, all right?

It has nothing to do with you.

Hey!

Hey, careful!

Watch the car!

Now, I think your mother will just love this.

There you go.

And listen,

I'll throw in one of them as a little gift.

There you go.

Thank you.

It's a pleasure doing business with you.

I'll see you to the door.

Miss. Miss!

Hey!

It's a mess.

How could you find anything in here,

even if you wanted to?

What kind of system is this?

What kind of ineffective,

yet not inexpensive system is this?

It's my own personal system.

Now, please, don't... Don't mess it up.

Oh, why? Who would know?

Big difference.

What are you hiding?

What are you hiding?

Hiding? I don't know...

haven't a clue what you're talking about.

Would you move?

Excuse me. Please.

I don't believe it!

I don't be...

everything is in here, isn't it?

Everything I need is right in here.

Well, yeah.

No... no, not the face!

In matchmaking, as in life,

the unexpected is a dangerous, merciless foe,

so be Prepared.

The president's here!

The president of America's here!

Oh, fuck me. Not another one.

Sarah: I'm sorry, sir. That's a guest phone.

We're about to be guests.

We need 2 rooms with big beds.

Sarah: We're totally booked up.

Fine.

Nick: Hey. What's going on?

There's my girl.

Hi.

Real shithole of a hotel you picked here. Jesus.

I gotta talk to you.

In private.

Nick: Typical. No signal.

All right, enough! Enough. I'll do it.

We know you'll do it. You get paid to do it.

We asked you to do it.

The question is why haven't you done it already?

'Cause I don't wanna do it. I don't like it.

I don't feel it's within my brief.

Oh, well, uh, let's have a brief rebriefing, ok?

My brief is to get him re-elected, ok?

Your brief is to do what I tell you to do.

So now I want you to find some fake mcglorys,

whoever the fuck they might be.

Clannahans, shannahans. Whoever the fuck they are!

Get them into a pub with him

so he can have a pint with them,

we can film it and go home

and make sure that he's re-elected, ok?

So you'll set it up,

and we'll... What, talk to you?

Yes, I'll have the whole family ready tomorrow.

That's my girl.

Nick: The whole family, right?

Yeah, all of them.

You did it. That's great.

I didn't. I didn't find anyone.

Just... i heard...

We're gonna pay some people

to pretend that they're mcglorys.

You're going to what?

Don't look at me like that.

Wait a second!

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

I do not accept that expression

from a philandering, married hypocrite.

At least I don't lie for a living.

What?! Come on!

God, it is so easy to pretend you're virtuous

when you're stuck here

dicking around on brigadoon.

What?

What was that?

What was that?

Brigadoon? Was that it?

Yes!

Listen,

this place is as real as anywhere else,

and if you haven't realized that yet,

then fuck you!

And your boyfriend!

What are you looking at?

Let's get in the car.

Dermot.

Hi.

Oh, Marcy, about Sean...

Oh, please, please.

I don't wanna talk about Sean.

I need another favor.

I was not able to locate the people...

the family that i needed to find,

and, um,

this is gonna sound slightly immoral,

but I...

I, uh...

What?

What's so funny?

Oh, chr...

hey, get off. Git. Go on.

What the hell are you laughing at?

Do you know what that fecking Marcy's up to?

She... she asked me to help her.

Did she?

Sometimes the easy way out is the right way out.

I'll be with you in a minute!

Hold on there!

Watch it.

You're like a bad penny. You keep coming back.

Oh, thanks a million.

Look, I'm sorry.

I just didn't want you on me conscience anymore.

What? What's that supposed to mean?

Well, I know you left Dublin 'cause of me.

That's bollocks.

Don't flatter yourself, moira.

Dublin was great for you, Sean.

You're a good writer.

Sean: Oh, thanks.

I don't want to see you just giving it all up

because I left you.

It's pointless.

Listen, first of all,

i haven't given anything up yet,

and I'm here because I like it here.

Second of all, you can't keep running back to me

every time one of your boyfriends hits the dust.

It's not fair, moira.

Here's another one for you.

I always do come back, though, don't I?

Jesus Christ. Do I have to do everything for you?

Go on.

Girls, how's the crack?

Great. Married to meself.

Me friend would like to dance with ya.

And let me tell ya,

the man is hung like a stallion.

How do you know?

Oh, I know.

I just know.

Oh, well, tell him I'm very flattered,

but no, thank you.

Let me make an honest woman of you, moira.

Divorce me.

I don't want to play anymore.

I'm too old.

You're right.

I know you're right.

Say yes.

Yes.

Yes, yes.

Yes?

Yes?

Yes.

Listen, you... you won't regret it. I swear.

Now, who's your man in the suit?

The big fella?

Yeah.

That's senator John mcglory.

Would you like to meet him?

No, Sean.

He doesn't want to be bothered with me.

Come on. Let's meet him.

Look, I was just wondering.

That's all.

Just...

Come on.

Sean, stop it.

You were never backward about being forward, moira.

Come on, let's meet him. Come on!

A horse, isn't that right?

That's my favorite animal, too.

Woman: Says here, "zebra."

Tony: Oh, well, a zebra is a kind of a horse.

It's striped.

Hello. Hi.

How's it going?

Sean Kelly.

John mcglory.

This is moira.

You having a good time, senator?

I certainly am. Beautiful town.

I particularly like the...

good. Marcy speaks very highly of you.

So highly, in fact, I'm finding it

hard to reconcile her versions

of the John mcglory that I know.

Have we met?

No, we haven't,

but I'm very aware of your political career.

You're a very hard man to pin down.

You know what, Seamus? We're in the middle of something...

you're a politician

who's never stood firm on any issue

in your political career.

Well, I think if you'll carefully read the record...

i mean, health care, funding disclosures,

welfare state

expenditure restrictions.

You've turned around so many times

on those issues,

that nobody knows where you stand.

Sean, I'm... I'm a big supporter of dissent.

I believe that without dissent

we cannot have a successful democracy.

I hope for Marcy's sake

you're half the man she thinks you are.

Ok.

Thank you very much.

I sincerely hope you find

those Irish roots you're searching for.

Thanks.

Mcglory: All right. Thank you.

Ahem.

Come. Have a seat, please.

Uh, moira, is it?

Join us.

Ohh, boy.

Mcglory: There's always one, isn't there?

Asshole.

Asshole!

Asshole!

What an asshole!

Marcy!

Marcy, what are you up to?

A fat-assed, fatty mcfatterton

rides in this car!

What'd he do to you, Marcy?

It's not what he did. It's what he's gonna do.

Man: ♪ the female of the species ♪

♪ is more deadlier than the male ♪

Fraud! Thief!

Hypocrite! Thief!

Big, fat thief!

♪ Shock, shock ♪

♪ horror, horror ♪

♪ shock, shock, horror ♪

♪ I'll shout myself hoarse ♪

♪ for your supernatural force ♪

♪ the female of the species ♪

♪ is more deadlier than the male... ♪

The sergeant, girls! Come on.

They're there, sarge!

Will you go faster?! They're gonna get away!

Hey. Careful!

Christ's sake!

Marcy!

Watch the car!

Get down! Come on! Get down!

No, I'm not getting off. No, I'm not done yet.

♪ How can heaven hold a place for me ♪

♪ when a girl like you ♪

♪ has cast a spell on me? ♪

Aah! Leave me alone! No!

Sean: What are you arresting her for?

Drunk and disorderly,

damaging private property,

offensive language,

and resisting arrest.

Surely if I hadn't got there in time,

that car would have been wrecked.

Ma's gonna kill me.

She's gonna kill me, too.

Hey, quiet there!

Hey, hey!

Hey, hey! Hey.

You know what this is? A police station.

Yes, it is.

State! Police state!

And you can't arrest me!

Listen, let me take her home, will ya?

No.

No, I'm not going home with you!

I'm going to my cell,

and then you're gonna bring me another drink.

Marcy, please, shut up.

You shut up! Go back to your wife.

My ex-wife. We're going to be divorced.

They don't have divorce in Ireland.

They do. It just got in.

Well, you just get out.

Thank you.

Sean: She's all yours.

Hey. Hey, paddy.

Paddy, guess what.

I'm gonna stay here and fuck these 2 guys.

And you wanted to go and see a film.

Hey, Sean.

Good night, Sean.

Dermot.

Michael?

Yeah?

How long have you been in there?

An hour.

An hour?!

It's penance. I deserve to suffer.

Oh, come on. Get up.

Aah! I want to die!

Why?

Over a... aah! Over a woman!

Never kill yourself over a woman.

Don't give them the satisfaction.

Oh, let me burn!

I'm going to die a virgin like Joan of arc!

Ya fucking idiot! Go on.

Aah!

Fucking idiot.

What a fucking night.

Mind your head there.

Dermot told me to come and get you.

Phone us, ok?

Shut up.

Can I have my car keys?

Remember, the turf that they're burning there

contains the blood and the sweat of the mcglorys

who lived there before, your forefathers, right?

Don't look scared, though.

Sometimes you do sincerity, and you just look scared, ok?

Déjà vu-attack kind of a thing.

You didn't have time to change, huh?

Stay out of the shit.

Yeah, put the bike right on the car.

Excuse me. Why don't you just hang out here?

When we come outside,

you can explain what happened with the car last night.

You put your hand on me again,

I'll be mailing it back to you.

Guys.

Ahem.

Hello.

Ahem. Hello.

Hello there!

Dermot o'brien.

John mcglory.

I'm the liaison officer for this area.

Are they expecting me?

Oh, they've been jumping up and down with excitement.

I had to hit one of them with a big stick

to keep him quiet.

Ha ha. Come on.

Now, come on in. Come in, come in, come in.

Come on.

And let me introduce you to these lovely people.

There's paddy, paddy rogue,

brigid, Michael, and Eileen.

Now, brigid won't be talking to you today,

because her teeth are away being repaired.

And if Michael suddenly passes out,

please Don't film him.

It's the old narcolepsy.

Now, everybody, i want to introduce you

to senator John mcglory!

He's related to you.

Is that daddy?

Shut up.

Uh, as Mr. o'brien said,

I'm mcglory.

I'm a mcglory as well.

Jesus, the world must be full of mcglorys.

But we're cursed.

We're cursed!

We're cursed!

Dermot: Oh, Jesus. What have you got there?

Will you look at this? The shit bucket's full.

Don't be talking about the shit bucket

in front of strangers.

Come here to me.

That's not full.

There's room in there for at least 2 more goes.

Oh, Jesus.

So that's where they are.

Me teeth.

Oh, bollocks!

Dermot: Uh, speaking of Boston,

uh, that's where the senator's from.

Boston. Oh, that's a fucking mad place.

Oh, I wouldn't go there.

Sure all the men would be trying to ride me.

Senator, would you like a cup of tea?

Have one. Have a cup of tea.

Uh, no, thank you. Thank you. No, sit down.

I'm... I've...

Eileen: I'll make you a cup of tea.

Don't you be speaking out of turn, you brazen hussy.

And you coming in here at odd hours of the night

with the drink on you like a shroud.

And the young fellas going up to your room

to do, oh, god knows what.

Eileen: Oh, I hate you! I hate you!

Oh, be jeez. That's it. That's it.

I'll take the belt to you, ya little hooer, you.

I've no belt.

Oh, Jesus, give us your belt.

I want your belt! I want your fucking belt!

Hey, hey!

Shut it off.

Please, now.

I look like a fucking fool.

Like a fucking fool.

Mister, mister.

Would you like to take this with you?

Fuck!

What the hell was that all about, Marcy?

You are fired!

You Are fired!

How dare you sabotage me?

I didn't know.

I didn't set that up.

Look, the fact is that you have been sitting out here

with your thumb up your ass doing Christ knows what,

not Doing your job,

and putting my re-election plan

second to your goddamned holiday.

How can you say that? That's ridiculous!

That's the way it fucking looks.

Shut up, Nick!

How can you accuse me

of putting the election second?

I spend 99% of my time

securing your re-election.

You know what I do with the other 1% of my time?

I sleep. That's it!

Now, as I said, i didn't know

it was gonna go down like that.

But I'm glad they did it,

because using people like that is arrogant.

It's deceitful,

and it goes against everything

i hoped we stood for.

God! I'm not wrong about this,

and I fucking quit!

Mcglory: Marce. Marce.

Nice speech.

Thank you.

Oh, give me a fucking break.

You're not really gonna buy into this bullshit?

Ah, forget it.

Hold it.

Nick: No, forget it.

Maybe you ought to go into politics.

Yeah, right.

I'm sorry.

That's not me. That's...

You know, that's not me.

I promise. No more stunts like that.

I hope you'll stay with us,

'cause we need you.

I need you.

I'm sorry.

Against my better judgment,

I'll stay until the election.

Good.

Think there's any resemblance?

Yeah. A little too much for my liking.

Come over and have a look.

I... i think what I've done is brilliant.

Brilliant!

Oh.

Now...

That's all you're getting today.

No more.

Greedy guts, the lot of you.

Keep it together, man.

Not much further.

Hey, dermot.

Damn.

No. I told Marcy no more stunts.

This woman, what if she doesn't want to be part of this?

It's not a stunt. All I'm saying is...

Thank you very much.

You don't have to marry her, ok?

Just go through

with the matchmaking procedure, that's all.

And this is gonna be incredible television.

I mean, think about it.

You'll be part of a timeless Irish tradition...

You don't think this is a little sick, do you?

Want me to read out the latest polls?

Hey. I think I can arrange a reception,

have the townspeople there to greet you.

Generate enthusiasm that way.

I think we want to think bigger than that, don't we?

Like procession. Parade.

Festival!

This is a festival.

But like our own festival, like a mcglory festival,

with, I don't know... Leprechauns.

Get a couple midgets to put on green suits.

Give them a shillelagh.

What's the matter, Sarah?

That was Sean.

De-dermot's died.

Oh, my god.

It's ok.

I'm sorry.

Dermot, that was the guy this morning, right?

Yeah, yeah.

You know, uh...

You should probably go to that funeral and, uh...

You know, pay your respects,

'cause, uh...

That'd look great on tape.

I always thought

you were just really good at your job.

But you really are an asshole, aren't you?

They go hand in hand, senator.

Priest: We beseech thee

on behalf of the soul of the servant, dermot,

whom thou has this day called out of the world,

that thou wouldst not deliver him

into the hands of the enemy.

I was one of his few failures.

I let him down.

No, no. The festival's not over yet.

Those glasses, um...

Do you have to wear them?

No, no.

Um...

You do.

Where are they?

Ow!

Sorry. Are you ok?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Bit of hush. We've a singer.

Shh.

Shh.

♪ I wish I was ♪

♪ in carrickfergus ♪

♪ only for nights ♪

♪ in ballygrand ♪

♪ I would swim over ♪

♪ the deepest ocean ♪

♪ the deepest ocean ♪

♪ to be by your side ♪

♪ well, I'm drunk today ♪

♪ and I'm seldom sober ♪

♪ a handsome rover ♪

♪ from town to town ♪

♪ but I am sick now ♪

♪ my days are numbered ♪

♪ so come all ye young men ♪

♪ and lay me down ♪

♪ so come all ye young men ♪

♪ and lay me down ♪

No, no, you don't tip.

We don't have to do this now, considering...

senator mcglory, I'm a professional.

Tragedy or no tragedy,

standards are not going to drop.

Hey, Sean.

Hiya.

I'm going back to Boston today.

I'm really, really sorry about everything.

It's... it's ok.

It's all right. Sure.

Nick: Hey, Marcy.

You know, ma'am, we have to catch a plane,

so we're in a bit of a hurry.

Uh...

So I'll see you around?

Bah. I won't see you around, but...

Marcy.

Dermot wanted, uh, you to have something. Um...

Ok.

It's at his house or something.

I'll be there in an hour.

Yeah, great.

Bye.

She's ready, senator.

This is how it's always been done.

And in my experience,

it's a certain way of finding out

if you're suitable for each other.

Now, senator, just step into the cubicle here

and spend 20 minutes

getting to know each other

with no one else around.

Nick: Let's just move in.

I beg your pardon.

No, this isn't allowed, you see.

No, it is allowed.

There's rules and regulations.

There's a certain protocol, sir,

and I have to ask you, please, to leave.

Just scram, ok? Thank you. Ok?

Ahem.

Oh, god, I don't...

What?

I really don't know anything about you.

I know, but why don't we start again?

All right.

Hello, I'm senator John mcglory.

Moira Kelly.

Well, uh, Kelly's my married name.

What's your maiden name?

Kennedy.

Uh, just give me... Sorry.

Just give me a tight closeup on her.

Single on her.

Sean, will you get some food?

We're just running a bit low.

Mm. Thanks.

Declan: Ohh! What the...

you all right? Sean.

I might have known.

You did that deliberately, didn't you?

Do you know what I'm gonna do?

Listen, give it a rest, eh?

I'm gonna fucking kill you!

Come on.

What are you doing?!

Come on.

Come on, Sean.

Declan: Sean, put me down!

Sean, stop!

Put me down, Sean! Sean!

Put me down! Sean, you little...

we're on our way.

Watch the car!

"Watch the car!"

Just once could you put your foot down,

for Christ's sake!

You want to see fast, huh?

You want to see fast, do you?

I'll show you fast, mate.

That's brilliant, sarge.

You can slow down now!

Aah! Look out!

Where are they?

Uhh! My leg!

Don't look at me. You were driving.

Sean: My leg!

Ha ha ha.

Hello?

Sean?

Sean?

Where the hell have you been?

Give me the keys. Give me the keys.

Turn the car around, all right?

Guys, come on.

Declan!

Hiya, Marcy.

Hey, where's Sean?

I couldn't tell you.

Where'd everybody go?

They've, uh, moved on to Doyle's.

Uh, he's not with them.

Where'd he go?

Marcy, I don't have him electronically tagged.

Hey.

I'm coming. I'm coming!

Will you tell him i said good-bye?

Yeah. Sure.

Thank you.

Most definitely.

He's not the president.

Sarah: Declan, why didn't Marcy say good-bye to Sean

when she was leaving?

Jesus, I haven't a clue, love.

You didn't tell her!

Now, Sarah!

I'm going to miss you, you old bastard.

I'm going to miss you, you old bastard.

Michael.

I promise you, I'll get you sorted.

I'm going to die a virgin.

You are not.

Declan: Would you stop?

Sarah: This is all your fault, Declan.

Tell him.

Go on.

I never told Marcy you were in here.

What?

She's headed off to the airport.

She's gone?

You fucking bastard!

It's not my...

Don't! Don't!

Look, stop it!

You bastard! I'll kill you!

I want this shite ended now! Right now!

What am I going to do?

Will you drive me to the airport?

You know I can't drive.

Michael!

Will you drive me to the airport?

What am I going to do? Huh?

Declan: Sean, there's no way it'll work! Sean!

Sarah, you tell him!

Sarah: Just get in the car. Come on!

Away, lads!

You get in the back, love.

Ok, I'll do the gears, right?

You do the gears. I'll do the clutch.

Ok, you do the clutch.

Go! Go!

Declan: Sean!

Sean!

He's like gum in your hair. Comes out eventually.

♪ I was her ♪

♪ She was me ♪

It's on the clutch! You're driving!

♪ We were one ♪

♪ we were free ♪

♪ and if there's somebody ♪

♪ calling me on ♪

♪ she's the one ♪

Still moping?

Would a little kiss help?

Yeah.

Think it would.

♪ She's the one ♪

♪ we were young ♪

Oh, Marcy, what did I do?

♪ We were fine ♪

♪ all alone ♪

♪ and if there's somebody ♪

♪ calling me on ♪

♪ she's the one ♪

♪ maybe when you get to where you want to go ♪

♪ and you know the things you want to know ♪

♪ you'll be smiling ♪

♪ When you've said what you want to say ♪

♪ and you know the way you want to play it... ♪

You all right?

I'm all right.

Sarah: My leg!

Oh, you haven't, have you?

♪ I was her ♪

♪ she was me ♪

♪ we were one ♪

♪ we were free ♪

♪ and if there's somebody ♪

♪ calling me on ♪

♪ she's the one ♪

♪ if there's somebody ♪

♪ calling me on ♪

♪ she's the one ♪

Dermot: My success rate has been nearly 100%,

which is more than I can say for those dating agencies.

This is an opportunity too good to refuse.

The end.

Well, Marcy...

How about it?

Have we a deal?

You bring over a few more... Single yanks,

and I'll get them hitched.

Aw, come on, Marcy, let's do it.

Let's matchmake America.

I'll be waiting for your call.

I'll be right down.

Well, it was a narrow victory,

but a victory nonetheless.

I just wanna thank everyone on our team...

And my future wife...

mrs. moira kennedy Mcglory.

Thank you.

I am very, very proud to be up here

in front of you this evening

and to be able to say...

The world is my family.

Hey! Ho! Let's go!

Hey! Ho! Let's go!

Oh, hi. How are you?

What the hell kind of scotch is this?

Punch. Ohh.

You must be so proud of your son.

Congratulations.

I'm very proud.

Course, if he'd screwed up,

i would have shot him.

Well, listen, I think i almost screwed up.

I could not find any of your relatives in ballinagra.

Ballinagra? Yeah.

You know, Ireland, where your people are from.

Yes, I know.

You would have had better luck in Budapest.

I'm sorry?

We're not Irish.

Stop it.

We're Hungarian.

The real name

is something like, uh, mikilosh.

Mcglory is an Ellis island name.

You know the kind of thing.

The U.S. is full of them.

And, uh, as a democrat living in Boston,

i may have played up the Irish thing

just a wee bit.

Wait a minute. Are you kidding?

Mcglory: It's a great day for the Irish!

And for the Hungarians.

I guess so.

Whoa.

How about a real scotch?

Nick: Anyways, I also want to thank the little people,

uh, the nameless faces,

people behind the scenes who assisted...

Excuse me. I'm in the middle of a press conference here.

The nameless faces, people who put in the hours

and just don't get enough of the credit

as far as I'm concerned.

Marcy, it seems like a very macho atmosphere

behind the scenes.

How do you deal with that?

Let me just say this about this "macho" thing.

There was no macho atmosphere behind the scenes.

We had many, many competent female staff members,

and, uh, I think Marcy would back me up when I say this...

that we are pro women's right, uh, right down the line.

Marce? Where are you going?

I'm going home.

I don't think so.

He's inside there.

He's gonna start drinking,

i got press people.

You know what he's like.

That's too bad. You're the team player.

You take care of it.

Nice.

That is just fine.

I've baby-sat the guy long enough.

I guess one more night's not gonna kill me.

He's like a chimp,

except I feed him lines instead of bananas.

And he's an asshole.

Hasn't had an original thought or idea in...

how many years? I don't know.

When he's sober, he's boring.

When he's drunk, he's boring and an asshole.

Repeat what you just said.

What?

Repeat what you just said.

Oh, please,

don't tell me you're gonna start pretending

mcglory's anything other

than a complete and utter moron,

'cause I'm not buying it, ok?

And if you're gonna start sucking up to him,

start sucking up to me,

'cause I'm the guy that won the election.

No, I just wanted to hear it again,

'cause you have a thing on your tie.

Ahem. Hey.

Hello!

A little joke that we, uh...

we just kind of set up, uh...

You know, 'cause of pressures and everything, and...

I think that we all could use a... whoa!

♪ How come it started so well? ♪

Mc: I said 6 more years! 6 more years!

6 more years!

That's right! He's a big man.

He's gonna be big and proud for us,

because he's from Boston.

He's gonna take care of Boston.

That's what I say.

Hey, join me now.

He's there for all of us. You know what I say?

Marcy!

♪ Mcglory, mcglory, hallelujah ♪

Marcy!

♪ Mcglory, mcglory, hallelujah ♪

Marcy!

♪ Mcglory, mcglory, hallelujah ♪

♪ our savior's marching on ♪

♪ oh, won't you stay ♪

♪ stay a while with your own ones ♪

♪ don't ever stray ♪

♪ stray so far from your own ones ♪

It's ok.

♪ This whole world is so cold ♪

He's with me.

♪ Don't care nothing for your soul ♪

Don't sing.

Hiya.

Hi.

♪ Oh, won't you stay ♪

♪ stay a while with your own ones ♪

♪ don't ever stray ♪

♪ stray so far from your own ones ♪

♪ for the world is so cold ♪

♪ don't care nothing for your soul ♪

♪ you share ♪

♪ with your own ones ♪

♪ don't rush away ♪

♪ rush away from your own ones ♪

♪ one more day ♪

♪ one more day with your own ones ♪

♪ yes, our world is so cold ♪

♪ don't care nothing for your soul ♪

♪ you share ♪

♪ with your own ones ♪

♪ there's a stranger ♪

♪ and he's standing ♪

♪ by your door ♪

♪ might be your best friend ♪

♪ might be your brother ♪

♪ you may never know ♪

♪ and I'm goin' back ♪

♪ goin' back to my own ones ♪

♪ back to talk ♪

♪ talk a while with my own ones ♪

♪ this whole world is so cold ♪

♪ don't care nothing for your soul ♪

♪ you share ♪

♪ with your own ones ♪

Captioning made possible by polygram video

captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.

Public performance of captions prohibited without permission of national captioning institute

♪ this whole world is so cold ♪

♪ don't care nothing for your soul ♪

♪ you share ♪

♪ with your own ones ♪