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1
00:03:09,057 --> 00:03:11,141
- Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
2
00:03:11,296 --> 00:03:13,904
- Ian, please!
Could you just calm down?
3
00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:15,052
- He did not know
I took the car.
4
00:03:15,336 --> 00:03:16,777
He will be
absolutely fucking furious.
5
00:03:16,936 --> 00:03:18,180
- Your dad
doesn't have to find out.
6
00:03:18,336 --> 00:03:19,580
We can come back
and get it tomorrow
7
00:03:19,736 --> 00:03:20,937
when we have the keys!
8
00:03:21,096 --> 00:03:23,300
- Fuck!
9
00:03:40,694 --> 00:03:41,982
Don't even think
for half a second
10
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:44,655
you're going to break open
that car, mate.
11
00:03:45,014 --> 00:03:47,982
So get out of my face.
12
00:03:56,253 --> 00:03:58,741
What are you fucking looking at?
13
00:04:00,493 --> 00:04:01,978
Stop looking at
my girlfriend, midget!
14
00:04:02,133 --> 00:04:03,541
- Ian, please!
15
00:04:03,693 --> 00:04:04,697
- You want to fucky-fucky her?
16
00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:06,293
No way in hell,
'cause let me tell you,
17
00:04:06,453 --> 00:04:07,697
there's only one guy
who fucks her,
18
00:04:07,852 --> 00:04:08,976
and I fuck her real good,
19
00:04:09,132 --> 00:04:11,052
so go home and fuck mom now
you demented dwarf!
20
00:04:35,611 --> 00:04:38,415
No, please!
21
00:04:39,850 --> 00:04:42,251
Please, no!
22
00:04:45,050 --> 00:04:46,250
No, please!
23
00:04:46,410 --> 00:04:47,370
Please, plea...
24
00:04:47,530 --> 00:04:48,938
Don't!
25
00:04:49,090 --> 00:04:51,654
Ian!
26
00:09:11,191 --> 00:09:13,635
- Hey, I hope you're not
time wasting, you.
27
00:09:13,791 --> 00:09:16,235
I've got a dozen people
waiting to look at this place,
28
00:09:16,391 --> 00:09:18,115
most of them paying cash
as well.
29
00:09:18,271 --> 00:09:20,235
You got cash?
30
00:09:20,390 --> 00:09:24,395
Right, the light switch is
somewhere here I think.
31
00:09:49,309 --> 00:09:51,632
- Hey, come on, let's get
this fucking lease signed, hey?
32
00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:15,963
- Hi, this is Marc
from USA Actors Management
33
00:12:16,018 --> 00:12:17,999
regarding your audition request
for our clients
34
00:12:18,058 --> 00:12:19,138
Miss Williams
and Mr. Kitamura
35
00:12:19,298 --> 00:12:20,318
from Human Centipede.
36
00:12:20,378 --> 00:12:22,419
Neither is available for the
auditions in London right now
37
00:12:22,578 --> 00:12:23,645
because they're shooting
a movie,
38
00:12:23,698 --> 00:12:24,702
but thank you for the interest.
39
00:12:24,858 --> 00:12:25,922
Maybe we can do something
in the future.
40
00:12:26,077 --> 00:12:27,518
Good-bye.
41
00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:05,476
- Stop them tears.
42
00:13:05,635 --> 00:13:09,279
You're just making
Daddy's willy harder.
43
00:13:24,394 --> 00:13:25,714
Oh, my God.
44
00:13:25,874 --> 00:13:27,674
Have you shit yourself again?
45
00:13:27,965 --> 00:13:29,549
You swine.
46
00:13:29,673 --> 00:13:31,593
I've called Dr. Sebring,
and he's waiting.
47
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,633
Get up!
48
00:15:38,264 --> 00:15:40,151
Hello, Martin.
49
00:16:33,341 --> 00:16:34,464
Mmm.
50
00:16:44,740 --> 00:16:47,063
Martin...
51
00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:48,583
come and join us.
52
00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:20,821
Well..
53
00:17:20,977 --> 00:17:24,424
Martin, I have your Ventolin.
54
00:17:33,376 --> 00:17:35,700
Martin, I'm here today
55
00:17:35,856 --> 00:17:38,617
because your mother is
very worried about you.
56
00:17:38,776 --> 00:17:40,980
- He keeps on talking
about a centipede
57
00:17:41,135 --> 00:17:42,935
with 12 people.
58
00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:46,423
What does that mean?
59
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,096
- Now, let's see.
60
00:17:56,135 --> 00:17:59,255
A centipede can be considered
a phallic symbol.
61
00:17:59,414 --> 00:18:01,738
Centipedes are
very aggressive creatures.
62
00:18:01,894 --> 00:18:04,502
Their bite can be very painful.
63
00:18:04,654 --> 00:18:09,575
Maybe he is connecting the pain
that a centipede inflicts
64
00:18:09,734 --> 00:18:11,261
with the pain inflicted on him
65
00:18:11,414 --> 00:18:15,942
through years of psychological
and sexual abuse by his father.
66
00:18:18,413 --> 00:18:20,574
- I miss my husband.
67
00:18:25,612 --> 00:18:30,937
And it's your fault
that he's in prison!
68
00:18:31,092 --> 00:18:35,097
- Sometimes people
that are mentally challenged
69
00:18:35,252 --> 00:18:42,333
and have a history
of sexual abuse...
70
00:18:42,491 --> 00:18:46,016
mutilate
their own sexual organs.
71
00:18:57,330 --> 00:18:59,098
I'm sorry.
I going to have to go.
72
00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:01,411
There's nothing to worry about.
73
00:19:01,570 --> 00:19:03,818
I'm sure it's just
a passing phase.
74
00:19:03,969 --> 00:19:05,694
Hmm?
75
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:12,050
Martin.
76
00:19:12,209 --> 00:19:16,137
Ah.
You're a good boy.
77
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:18,176
Mrs. Lomax.
78
00:19:37,928 --> 00:19:42,095
- I've decided to kill us both.
79
00:19:48,966 --> 00:19:52,251
This music is driving me crazy!
80
00:19:55,886 --> 00:19:57,850
I can't stand this any more!
81
00:20:28,924 --> 00:20:31,531
He can't stand it any more!
82
00:20:33,923 --> 00:20:35,767
Come on, tell him.
83
00:20:36,323 --> 00:20:40,852
Be a man like your father.
84
00:20:41,003 --> 00:20:43,731
- Stop fucking bothering me,
you retard.
85
00:20:43,883 --> 00:20:47,407
I play my fucking music
as loud as I fucking want, okay?
86
00:20:47,563 --> 00:20:49,843
- Kill us both.
I'm begging you.
87
00:20:50,002 --> 00:20:52,883
- Shut your fucking mouth,
you old cunt.
88
00:20:53,042 --> 00:20:56,370
What the fuck?
89
00:20:59,602 --> 00:21:01,326
- I will play my music
so fucking loud,
90
00:21:01,481 --> 00:21:02,965
it's going to make
your fucking ears bleed,
91
00:21:03,121 --> 00:21:04,125
you cock-sucking dwarf.
92
00:21:04,281 --> 00:21:05,962
Next time,
you batter that fucking ceiling,
93
00:21:06,121 --> 00:21:10,049
I'm gonna come down
and break your fucking neck,
94
00:21:10,201 --> 00:21:11,248
Fuck!
95
00:21:11,401 --> 00:21:13,168
Fucking little cocksucker.
96
00:21:13,321 --> 00:21:15,569
Don't fucking bang
that fucking ceiling
97
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,881
any-fucking-more, okay?
98
00:21:18,041 --> 00:21:20,889
You cock-sucking retard!
99
00:21:47,198 --> 00:21:49,959
- The lips from B and C
100
00:21:50,118 --> 00:21:56,163
and the anus of A and B
are cut circular
101
00:21:56,317 --> 00:22:01,085
along the border
between skin and mucosa,
102
00:22:01,238 --> 00:22:05,286
the mucus cutaneous zone...
103
00:22:05,437 --> 00:22:08,918
the circular mucosa
and skin parts
104
00:22:09,076 --> 00:22:15,078
of anus and mouth
from A to B and B to C.
105
00:22:15,236 --> 00:22:18,476
Connecting
the pedicellated grafts
106
00:22:18,636 --> 00:22:25,762
to the chin-cheek incisions
from A to B, connected...
107
00:22:29,316 --> 00:22:32,720
Ingestion by A
108
00:22:32,875 --> 00:22:36,519
passing through B
109
00:22:36,675 --> 00:22:41,355
to the excretion of C.
110
00:22:44,674 --> 00:22:48,515
A human centipede...
111
00:22:48,674 --> 00:22:50,638
first sequence.
112
00:23:29,751 --> 00:23:32,795
- Will you give me a high five
when we get there?
113
00:23:36,471 --> 00:23:38,358
- Hey.
114
00:24:32,946 --> 00:24:34,834
- Shh, shh.
115
00:26:53,297 --> 00:26:55,425
My lead.
116
00:26:55,577 --> 00:26:57,376
My lead.
117
00:26:57,537 --> 00:26:58,584
Hey, man.
118
00:26:59,777 --> 00:27:00,781
- Hey, man.
119
00:27:09,896 --> 00:27:11,860
- Ja, komm.
120
00:27:16,615 --> 00:27:18,263
Yeah!
Yeah, coma up ham.
121
00:27:18,415 --> 00:27:20,335
Come up, oh, yeah!
122
00:27:20,494 --> 00:27:22,503
Yeah.
Yeah!
123
00:27:22,655 --> 00:27:24,816
Very good!
124
00:27:24,975 --> 00:27:26,099
Yeah!
125
00:27:26,254 --> 00:27:28,021
I did if!
126
00:28:13,771 --> 00:28:15,855
- Whoo-hoo!
127
00:28:16,011 --> 00:28:17,931
- Why do these stupid things
never work?
128
00:28:24,851 --> 00:28:25,811
- Oh, Valerie!
129
00:28:25,970 --> 00:28:28,338
It's that guy from the club!
130
00:28:39,169 --> 00:28:40,129
- Shh!
There's...
131
00:28:41,529 --> 00:28:43,417
Babe, there's a midget
wanking in there.
132
00:28:43,569 --> 00:28:44,857
- You are drunk, love.
133
00:28:45,009 --> 00:28:45,969
- No, seriously!
134
00:31:39,717 --> 00:31:41,005
- Hi, this is Arianne
135
00:31:41,157 --> 00:31:42,924
from Creative Acting
Talent Management.
136
00:31:43,076 --> 00:31:44,517
You called us
with an audition request
137
00:31:44,676 --> 00:31:45,996
for our client
actress Miss Yennie
138
00:31:46,157 --> 00:31:47,161
from The Human Centipede.
139
00:31:47,316 --> 00:31:48,517
I just spoke to Miss Yennie,
140
00:31:48,676 --> 00:31:51,163
and she is very, very excited
and available
141
00:31:51,316 --> 00:31:54,197
to fly to London to audition
for the new Tarantino film.
142
00:31:54,356 --> 00:31:58,077
Could you please contact me
ASAP on my cell phone,
143
00:31:58,236 --> 00:32:02,120
713-499-0913.
144
00:32:02,275 --> 00:32:05,363
Thanks.
Bye-bye.
145
00:32:12,035 --> 00:32:15,755
- You can't do this.
146
00:32:16,115 --> 00:32:18,635
It's a film.
147
00:32:18,794 --> 00:32:25,035
The Human Centipede
is a fucking film.
148
00:32:25,193 --> 00:32:28,597
He is going to stitch us up.
149
00:32:28,754 --> 00:32:32,682
He is going to stitch us up
ass to mouth.
150
00:32:34,953 --> 00:32:36,360
Help!
151
00:32:38,313 --> 00:32:39,557
Help!
152
00:33:43,228 --> 00:33:45,389
- Stop them tears.
153
00:33:45,548 --> 00:33:48,952
You're just making
Daddy's willy harder.
154
00:34:24,425 --> 00:34:26,345
- What is this?
155
00:34:30,265 --> 00:34:34,192
100% medically accurate?
156
00:34:38,865 --> 00:34:40,948
Mouth to anus?
157
00:34:43,304 --> 00:34:45,312
One digestive system?
158
00:34:45,464 --> 00:34:49,228
Is this a perverted film
you've been talking about?
159
00:36:51,175 --> 00:36:55,059
- I want all this filth
out of my house!
160
00:39:06,686 --> 00:39:09,054
- Fuck!
161
00:39:12,525 --> 00:39:14,085
Doh!
Fuckin' hell!
162
00:39:14,245 --> 00:39:15,249
Ahhhhh!
163
00:39:15,405 --> 00:39:16,452
Gahhh!
164
00:39:19,165 --> 00:39:20,605
Fuck!
165
00:39:20,765 --> 00:39:22,652
Oh, fuck!
166
00:40:31,879 --> 00:40:34,203
- Swallow it, bitch.
167
00:40:34,359 --> 00:40:37,807
Swallow up.
168
00:40:40,679 --> 00:40:42,283
- Feed her.
169
00:40:42,438 --> 00:40:44,762
Feed her!
170
00:40:44,918 --> 00:40:45,965
Ahhh!
171
00:41:11,437 --> 00:41:16,118
- That was fucking sensational.
172
00:41:16,277 --> 00:41:18,077
And you know what?
173
00:41:18,236 --> 00:41:22,284
Your pussy smells gorgeous.
174
00:41:22,436 --> 00:41:23,680
Yeah.
175
00:41:23,836 --> 00:41:24,840
How you doing, doc?
176
00:41:29,115 --> 00:41:31,199
Oh, I rather fuck
that retarded boy,
177
00:41:31,356 --> 00:41:33,636
but... this'll do.
178
00:41:33,795 --> 00:41:34,842
- I know a place in Thailand
179
00:41:34,995 --> 00:41:37,799
where they specialize
in that sort of thing.
180
00:41:37,955 --> 00:41:39,635
Oh, yeah.
181
00:41:39,795 --> 00:41:42,042
Oh, yeah, she's a good one.
182
00:41:42,195 --> 00:41:44,355
- How much to fuck you
up the arse, darling?
183
00:41:44,515 --> 00:41:49,043
- For you, darling, 50.
184
00:41:58,953 --> 00:42:00,120
- Jesus.
185
00:42:00,273 --> 00:42:01,921
Who the fuck are you?
186
00:42:03,473 --> 00:42:06,998
What the fuck have you done
to yourself?
187
00:42:09,673 --> 00:42:11,757
That's right.
Have a good stare.
188
00:42:11,912 --> 00:42:15,240
Have a good fucking stare,
you little fucking pervert!
189
00:42:15,392 --> 00:42:16,953
Fuck off now
190
00:42:17,112 --> 00:42:19,873
before I get out of this car
and smash your fucking face in!
191
00:42:20,032 --> 00:42:20,872
Don't!
192
00:42:32,191 --> 00:42:34,711
- No, please.
Please!
193
00:42:52,990 --> 00:42:54,278
- Martin?
194
00:42:58,669 --> 00:43:03,873
Martin, it's me,
Dr. Sebring.
195
00:43:07,109 --> 00:43:08,909
So...
196
00:43:09,069 --> 00:43:10,236
this is where you work.
197
00:43:14,148 --> 00:43:15,992
This isn't right, Martin.
198
00:43:16,148 --> 00:43:18,189
What you're doing,
199
00:43:18,348 --> 00:43:22,428
it's wrong.
200
00:43:22,588 --> 00:43:25,828
Martin, I can help you,
201
00:43:25,987 --> 00:43:30,952
but you have to put
the gun down.
202
00:43:31,107 --> 00:43:33,507
Imagine what your father
would say if..
203
00:43:39,986 --> 00:43:43,347
Martin, Martin, no, Martin!
204
00:44:49,862 --> 00:44:52,426
Please.
205
00:44:52,582 --> 00:44:54,349
I'll do anything you want.
206
00:44:54,501 --> 00:44:56,585
Please!
207
00:44:56,741 --> 00:44:59,948
I won't tell...
I won't tell no one nothing.
208
00:45:00,101 --> 00:45:01,105
You fucking...
209
00:45:05,061 --> 00:45:08,225
Someone help me!
210
00:45:57,017 --> 00:45:59,505
- Hi, Martin, this is Arianne,
Miss Yennie's manager.
211
00:45:59,657 --> 00:46:01,577
I wanted to confirm
that Miss Yennie is not delayed
212
00:46:01,736 --> 00:46:03,144
and will be landing
this morning
213
00:46:03,296 --> 00:46:05,861
on London's Heathrow Airport
at 6:00 a.m. your time.
214
00:46:06,016 --> 00:46:07,936
I understand your driver
will be picking her up.
215
00:46:08,096 --> 00:46:09,340
I hope she does
a great audition.
216
00:46:09,496 --> 00:46:11,896
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Bye-bye!
217
00:46:37,534 --> 00:46:39,857
- God, I cannot believe
I am here
218
00:46:40,013 --> 00:46:43,221
auditioning for
a Quentin Tarantino film.
219
00:46:43,374 --> 00:46:46,101
My agents are so excited
about this.
220
00:46:49,333 --> 00:46:50,816
I should probably call them,
221
00:46:50,973 --> 00:46:54,333
tell them I landed
and, you know, I'm on my way.
222
00:46:58,652 --> 00:46:59,896
- Have you seen
The Human Centipede?
223
00:47:03,293 --> 00:47:04,580
- I was really drawn
to the film
224
00:47:04,732 --> 00:47:06,172
because of
the medical aspect of it.
225
00:47:06,332 --> 00:47:07,575
If you were a surgeon,
226
00:47:07,732 --> 00:47:10,012
you could actually perform
that surgery.
227
00:47:10,171 --> 00:47:12,495
It's just so scary.
228
00:47:15,371 --> 00:47:17,379
It was so grueling
being on all fours,
229
00:47:17,531 --> 00:47:19,976
so I demanded in my contract
that I had to have
230
00:47:20,131 --> 00:47:21,691
an hour... long massage
every night.
231
00:47:21,851 --> 00:47:24,458
I mean, why would I not
demand that in my contract?
232
00:47:24,611 --> 00:47:26,335
Oh, and the rest of the cast,
233
00:47:26,490 --> 00:47:28,771
we all took showers before we
shot the centipede stuff,
234
00:47:28,931 --> 00:47:31,418
because I mean, you're close
to someone's butt,
235
00:47:31,570 --> 00:47:33,611
and you don't want to smell
anything and...
236
00:47:33,770 --> 00:47:35,330
or, you know, whatever.
237
00:47:35,490 --> 00:47:36,811
I'm kind of a germaphobe.
238
00:47:36,970 --> 00:47:38,814
Um...
239
00:47:52,568 --> 00:47:55,733
Oh, that must be Quentin's car.
240
00:48:04,887 --> 00:48:06,371
Do you have an umbrella?
241
00:48:06,527 --> 00:48:09,975
Because this rain
will ruin my hair.
242
00:48:11,008 --> 00:48:13,692
Okay.
243
00:48:15,767 --> 00:48:17,654
Oh!
244
01:05:14,896 --> 01:05:18,737
- Please, please.
245
01:05:18,895 --> 01:05:22,223
Please don't hurt me.
246
01:05:22,375 --> 01:05:24,143
Please.
247
01:05:24,295 --> 01:05:26,423
I'll do everything.
248
01:06:48,889 --> 01:06:51,257
- Hello, this Marc from
USA Actors Management again.
249
01:06:51,409 --> 01:06:52,729
Please disregard
my earlier message.
250
01:06:52,889 --> 01:06:54,494
Fortunately, Miss Williams
and Mr. Kitamura
251
01:06:54,649 --> 01:06:55,969
were able to reschedule,
252
01:06:56,129 --> 01:06:58,016
and they're really, really
excited to come to London
253
01:06:58,168 --> 01:06:59,248
for Mr. Tarantino's auditions.
254
01:06:59,408 --> 01:07:00,293
I hope it's still possible.
255
01:07:00,448 --> 01:07:01,572
I'm totally confident
256
01:07:01,728 --> 01:07:03,136
that they're gonna do
very well on this,
257
01:07:03,288 --> 01:07:04,696
so please call me back
as soon as possible
258
01:07:04,848 --> 01:07:05,972
at this number to confirm.
259
01:07:06,128 --> 01:07:07,175
Thanks very, very much.
260
01:07:07,328 --> 01:07:08,888
Talk to you soon.
Good-bye.
18001
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