Original subtitles

[bouncy music]

I think I found somewhere for you and me.

What if someone sees us?

No one is gonna see us.

-They're far too busy. -[bouncy music]

I miss our courtesy, our friendship.

I hope that we are still courteous.

But not friends.

We are not quite enemies.

Dear Mr. Jarvis, so why are you writing to him?

I'm not.

You're faking a character?

I am not a villain, I just need this job.

[gentle music]

-[writing quill squeaking] -[gentle music]

[gentle music]

Dear Walter, I've wanted to write this letter

for a long time,

but I've hesitated,

in case putting it into words made matters,

more difficult between us.

[writing quill squeaking]

[gentle music]

I hope I've not left it so long

that the rift has become too wide to ever be mended.

[gentle music]

You must know that I hold you in the highest regard.

[gentle music]

I am mad for you.

[both panting]

[gentle music]

[candle holder clattering]

[dramatic suspense music]

Who's there?

[dramatic music]

[clothes rustling]

[dramatic suspense music]

You've no business being up here.

[both panting]

[dramatic suspense music]

[footsteps thumping]

Stop, come back this minute.

[dramatic suspense music]

-[footsteps thumping] -[dramatic music]

[door hinges squeaking]

Do get up young ladies, let's take a look at you.

[door hinges squeaking]

How many stinking number of bodies have we in here?

[door hinges squeaking]

Gentlemen, out of your beds, if you please.

[dramatic suspense music]

Head count and inspection.

[dramatic suspense music]

Anything?

Your men?

[footsteps thumping]

[cheerful music]

[footsteps thumping]

It has to be a lower servant.

One of your footmen.

And one of your maids.

Well, those grooms, the porters.

Besides, it's someone

from the third floor corridor obviously.

There aren't any romances I know.

Well, you obviously don't.

Blatantly flouting house rules

and rubbing our bloody noses in it.

Well, Mr. Adams, let's tight up,

so we nip this in the bud.

Well too late for that,

the bud's been opened.

One of the young girl has been seduced

and her life ruined as a result.

Somebody's life has been ruined?

Let's not make too much of this.

If we discover who it was, they will be punished.

And if we don't?

How can I make too much of it?

Am I the only one concerned,

that there's immorality going on under this roof?

My main concern, being butler rather than vicar,

is that someone is breaking house rules,

and getting away with it.

But it wouldn't be the first house to have turned brothel.

What takes the scandal light when it's a castle.

It could be one of the maids,

many of the men,

or several maids and all of the men.

[footsteps thumping]

I expect you to take this matter seriously

and do something about your men.

And I assume that you'll be doing something

about your women?

My women are not arrogant, posturing, hard drinking.

I hardly recognise my footmen in that description.

Well then you obviously don't know them very well.

Do I not?

[footsteps thumping]

All I know is, it wasn't me.

Well, that's what they're all saying.

I am aware it has to be someone,

if I only I say it's not me either.

And we held that down,

we don't keep any blind maids.

-[crockery clinking] -[man laughing]

Or feeble-minded ones,

so that she walked in it.

But I'll get a witch paid

for them to get busted.

Just think, some little woman right under our nose,

is giving it out to someone,

and that someone isn't me.

[footsteps thumping]

Whoever is, is a bad faced slut.

When she's discovered she'd be completely disgraced.

Poor thing though,

turned out without character.

We've not used that room for years,

could have been going on forever.

You know who I reckon it is?

No one knows.

No, one of the laundry women.

One of the night watchmen, so does they.

[footsteps thumping]

It's all around you.

Maybe it's one of us

or one of the sculleries or kitchen maids.

Has to be.

Hey, the man,

do you think it might be Mr. Adams.

-[all laughing] -Oh!

[women conversing quietly]

-[crockery clinking] -[group chattering]

[footsteps thumping]

No, I'm sorry Mr. Adams, this won't do,

men and women sitting together.

But they do please.

Well, they shouldn't, should they?

My girls will be on this side of the table,

Charlotte, come along,

take your food, move around.

From now on, you stay on your own side.

Mrs. Ryan there are more women than men,

and only one table.

Well then you can use this table.

We use that for serving.

Well, then you will eat in shifts, won't you?

Johnny, come on, take your plate, move it across.

It will get cold.

Good, maybe it will cool your odour.

My odour?

-Everyone's. -[crockery clinking]

Right, come on, come on you men all out.

Out I said, from now on the women will eat first.

[footsteps thumping]

We should get first sitting at dinner then.

I can't stick cold bacon meat.

[footsteps thumping]

Just tell me William,

if you get the sack and had to leave without a character,

where would you go?

It wasn't bloody me.

No one said it was.

Where would you go Georgie?

Back as a savage and the delights of ex-war?

Or I find that second ship.

[Adams laughing]

[footsteps thumping]

Girls, men are not the same as us.

There's no reason to them.

A man in...

A man at night...

[girl giggling]

Are you finding this amusing, Susan?

Nay, Mrs Ryan [breathing hard].

A man maybe polite,

attentive, the figure of respectability by day,

but at night...

At night if he thinks...

If you present yourself as less than a stranger,

then you may not be able to fend him off.

And if you find yourself alone with him

you're just as guilty, aren't you Mrs. Ryan?

Not as guilty Charlotte, but certainly foolish,

which is why it's my duty to warn you,

if there's anything any of you know,

and the sad thing is now every man in this house is looking

at each and every one of you and thinking, "Is it her?"

Is it her?

She has tarred you all with her brush.

[soft suspense music]

[glasses clinking]

[soft suspense music]

[glasses knocking on counter]

[glasses clinking]

[dramatic suspense music]

We are all adults.

We know what went on.

We also know that no one is going to step forward

and volunteer for dismissal.

So I won't waste my breath asking

for a confession that we will never get.

[furniture squeaking]

His Lordship has decided to go

to the Cumberland house for spring.

We travel on Wednesday.

[women conversing quietly]

Therefore my footmen will leave behind all the maids

and all the temptations they present, however unwittingly.

Unfortunately, one of the footmen must stay

at Taplow's, as lady Mary Bourne is too old

for a Cumberland spring.

Who is it?

And she will require a footman in attendance.

Who, Mr. Jarvis?

That's for her lady named Mrs. Diggins to decide.

Someone I trust who doesn't totally revolt her.

So to stay here in luxury you know what you have to do,

impress Mrs. Diggins, woo her.

[furniture squeaking]

[gentle music]

-[writing quill squeaking] -[gentle music]

[gentle music]

I return to this letter in some confusion.

You've never before seen fit

to make an announcement to the staff,

before you've even had the simple courtesy to consult me.

[gentle music]

[paper rustling]

[gentle music]

Cumberland house, just so the air can get some fricking

onto them before the season ends.

I'll be breaking his damnful neck.

The bloody mildew on your bread and a stink of damp-

'Cause no one else for months or days off or lie rough.

What a damn.

There's no question about it.

Should be me stopping back first footman.

First footman goes with the Cumberland if you will.

Unless you could wind your way around Mrs. Diggins.

[man giggling]

Can't stand the woman and she can't abide me.

Do you want it?

Do you ever hear respect your elders?

Where are you going?

Where's he off to?

Crafty bugger's off brown-nosing, isn't he?

Sneaky soul.

-[man laughing] -[dramatic music]

[footsteps thumping]

I'm looking after Mrs Diggins.

Be quick enough let them open.

Oh, give me that wig.

No, no.

Just pounded that.

[door hinges squeaking]

Look out, here she is.

[dramatic music]

Her ladyship is going to the morning room, Joseph.

[dramatic music]

Well Chefs in Cumberland, Cook will do her evening meal.

For the rest, you know what her ladyship likes.

Just what most 90 year olds like,

little and often and requiring no teeth.

She's easy enough to please.

Unlike her maid, right?

Mrs. Diggins at least understands the need

for good discipline in the house.

Finally, I've instructed all the servants,

and all those concerned,

that there will be only one meal sitting.

Without any discussion with me?

Did you come to me in the first place?

As it is, you doubled the servant's mealtime

without any consultation.

[papers rustling]

That's everything?

[papers rustling]

It is unfair to treat every man in this household

as if we are crazed and lustful savages, Mrs. Ryan.

Just one of you.

[papers rustling]

I saw no signs of a struggle in that room.

No signs of any resistance.

[chair squeaking]

Would be ironic if whoever stay behind

was the culprit all day.

-[door hinges squeaking] -[footsteps thumping]

Still, you can always lock them

in their room at night, can't you?

[man chuckles]

You've got the best legs, Henry.

I have other leg.

[footsteps thumping]

Mrs Diggins likes a good leg.

[footsteps thumping]

What's of Lady Bourne like?

Ah, don't worry about her.

[footsteps thumping]

Mrs Diggin's rules are rules.

Well stubborn face, she's all right.

When I was at the upstairs,

she gave me one of her powders.

Well what was that about her?

Always gives her sugar almond, doesn't she bro?

You're having some.

Sugar? Bloody omen.

[dramatic music]

[footsteps thumping]

You overfried?

Well, you gonna.

Like hell I'll do your shimami sauce.

Yes he's been feeding up.

[dramatic music]

[wooden box thudding on the floor]

Great, Fred, Joe there won't be any goodies in Cumberland,

get them into the store room.

Its rocks and ring, right?

[men laughing]

On our way.

[dramatic music]

[footsteps thumping]

Now that's him, isn't it?

And we won it then.

And you must been before, its been years.

I've told you, she's lying to me.

She pretty knows who I am.

Well wait, are you gonna stand by

while they get the best bidding?

What, you mean dying of common bloody weights?

I know they're only gonna leave one of us behind to help,

if that person's not gonna be me,

it's going to be you, right?

Oh, so you or me?

Shouldn't take much, should they?

[footsteps thumping]

Generally knows the black voices well.

[man laughing]

I think we will be able to manage it.

[gentle music]

[footsteps thumping]

[gentle music]

[door hinges squeaking]

Excuse me, allow me to present to you,

the footman who's not going to the waste of Cumberland.

Who have they sent?

Well, I'm the only one that knows, so far.

[bouncy piano music]

[cloth rustling]

[bouncy piano music]

[door hinges squeaking]

What are you doing, Cosmo?

Well, she left the fat on the tray so...

And had she?

Cos had face being dropped on the way.

But I didn't.

You see, she just has a gut leash.

It's cause you're so useless we have

to run around after you.

Do you two have to turn everything into a fight?

Sorry sir.

[footsteps thumping]

[Lassie knocking on the dough]

A passionate woman makes bad bread.

I don't know what you mean.

Well, they say that hatred is the next thing to love.

And if you're not careful Lassie,

you stand licklam.

[footsteps thumping]

It'd have been fair to his little cheap dogs.

[door hinges squeaking]

[door thudding]

[Lassie knocking dough on the board]

I'm giving you as much notice as I've had myself, Felix.

Tomorrow, plan, trait and serve a feast

with one day's warning.

That's the usual farewell supper for the upper servants.

Felix Kraus does not have a usual.

I mean the usual time,

the usual place,

the usual bloody servants.

Your usual bloody good temper.

Will you cook dinner tomorrow

for the upper servants or not?

Yes.

Thank you.

[footsteps thumping]

[wooden blocks knocking on each other]

All evening of Flora Ryan to look forward to.

Shouting above the Mary clank clank

of her rustic chastity belt.

I think I have before me a man,

who has not had a walk into town recently.

[gentle music]

[writing quill squeaking]

My hands feel too large,

I stumble over my words and you look at me

as though I am a tedious irritant in your life.

Whatever I say or do seems to make the matter worse,

so that I'm becoming nervous about saying

or doing anything at all.

-[gentle music] -[writing quill squeaking]

Oh come on, Grace.

[footsteps thumping]

[crockery clinking]

What are you doing now Grace?

I was gonna watch the penthouse for some wet flour.

No we have enough flour to my believe.

And what's more for the journey?

If Mr. Jarvis had wanted that kind of attention

he should've given us more warning.

Go and help Charlotte with all she's packing.

Will be supper time before you know it.

[gentle music]

[footsteps thumping]

[gentle music]

[footsteps thumping]

And I, if she says one more thing to me,

I swear I'll faint [chuckles].

Then she will be sorry.

[footsteps thumping]

[gentle music]

Damn.

[footsteps thumping]

[dramatic music]

[bell chiming]

[footsteps thumping]

[dramatic music]

[door hinges squeaking]

Stuffy George.

It's been [indistinct].

Yeah, any minute now you idiot.

You're pretty fine yourself for Mrs Diggins.

No I'm not.

And you, you wanna go be careful.

[dramatic music]

Why don't you go sticking a razor?

Well I won't touch a bloody razor.

I know you Fred, you leave me alone.

What are you all about?

Just cause Mrs Diggins is concerned

with hairy legs, get your own razor.

[dramatic music]

[door hinges squeaking]

[dramatic music]

[footsteps thumping]

You shaved your legs recently?

Oh, that can't be asked.

[dramatic music]

I think we should.

[dramatic music]

We thank you Lord

for what we're about to receive

and make us fit for the work you have allotted us, amen.

-Amen. -Amen.

-[clothes rustling] -[chairs squeaking]

[crockery clinking]

How are you able to breathe, fair?

-[crockery clinking] -Good, [indistinct].

It's not elbowing, it's [indistinct].

Do we have have less, more and more

then get it done on next,

we carry on with work.

[crockery clinking]

[footsteps thumping]

Well, you would have bled to death by now, Fred.

And I nearly did.

Just lost a couple of quarts.

[crockery clinking]

Look, Mrs. Diggins.

[Adams] Feeding time at the circus.

[dramatic music]

How are you all ladies and gentlemen?

I'm just telling Mrs. Diggins who's who.

[dramatic music]

[crockery clinking]

[footsteps thumping]

-Yes. -[dramatic music]

You're wasting your time lads.

Sugar dolmans can't get enough of that black voice.

[crockery clinking]

[footsteps thumping]

Oh my love, [indistinct] same day as his dinner.

Sorry Mrs. Ryan had me running around in the afternoon.

So long as you're not running from me.

As well, if you'll be helpful,

it's all gonna be done here.

I'm not going anywhere love.

You wait.

-[dramatic music] -[footsteps thumping]

-[man whistling] -[footsteps thumping]

-Mrs. Diggins, allow me, -[footsteps thumping]

these things go by habit been a long day.

You can't go into my lady's bedroom?

I wouldn't dream of it,

but I'll just carry to the top of the stairs for you.

-[dramatic music] -[footsteps thumping]

How's the Ladyship?

Let's say she's easy.

[footsteps thumping]

I've got a soft spot for old people, my mom's old.

[footsteps thumping]

Do you know?

I don't suppose I do.

My mom's got a bedroom,

we're just like this, it's identical.

How on earth could your mother possibly afford

a woman like this one?

French, alma wood and two guineas.

[dramatic music]

[footsteps thumping]

[Fred laughing]

[Fred] My Mom's old [laughing].

Love it [laughing].

[footsteps thumping]

[dramatic music]

-[Fred laughing] -[footsteps thumping]

-[bell chiming] -[footsteps thumping]

[papers rustling]

Oh, should those bloody bells...

[clothes rustling]

And the icicles outside.

[bell chiming]

Can we go there then?

[bell chiming]

[paper rustling]

What you got there?

[hissing] Nothing.

[papers rustling]

It's morning already, isn't it [indistinct]?

What is that?

Sir, nothing.

[papers rustling]

Nothing at all Georgie.

[footsteps thumping]

[water splashing into jugs]

There's nothing you can't bloody well tell me.

I thought we were in this together.

[water splashing into jugs]

-We are. -[metallic bucket rattling]

I don't want Fred and Joe knowing just yet.

I mean, it was only for us.

I'm not going to tell anyone.

[water splashing]

All right.

Loved a woman.

[metallic bucket rattling]

You know, it's many stuff.

[laughs] Piss off.

[metallic bucket rattling]

Old shovel face loves it.

She loves a shaven leg,

clean-shaven chin-

And loads of love in the woman.

She likes her flunkies sweet.

Does she know?

[water splashing]

-[Cosmo giggling] -[water splashing]

[metallic bucket rattling]

-[dramatic music] -[papers rustling]

[dramatic music]

-Oh. -[dramatic music]

Has he gone funny or what?

[dramatic music]

[wheels screeching]

Place this one on top Mr. Cosmo.

[wheels screeching]

Sir, Mrs. Diggins might have chosen.

You let us know when she has.

Mr. Adams, this evening the lower service

may have a small party.

There will be extra beer and food.

I'm sure they'll be very grateful sir.

You would ensure

that it is both respectable and decorous.

After all we'll not have our men led astray

by these little madams, Mr. Adams.

Suppose you don't know it.

I am William Shakespeare himself

compared to you, mr. Cosmo.

[Adams laughing]

I'll tell you what you watch,

be the bloody statue in sunny hop next.

And take everything else.

What did you do with your coats?

[hangers rattling on rail]

Nothing, it's all right.

[footsteps thumping]

Check it.

Oh wow [chuckles].

Who's done that?

I'll tell Mr. Jarvis you'll be an hour

or two late, shall I?

Fred, glass has been stored make.

Very fragile glass,

I was just very big stones.

You've been nobbled men.

Oh, which one of you bastards?

[dramatic music]

-[both men giggling] -[dramatic music]

Stop it.

[dramatic music]

[footsteps thumping]

[dramatic music]

Idiot grins on idiot faces.

We're living with Lunatics.

-[dramatic music] -[footsteps thumping]

[dramatic music]

[door hinges squeaking]

[dramatic music]

[footsteps thumping]

Onto which side of the line will the piano go?

If the person playing the piano is a woman,

it will go on the female side.

And if a man wants to play, it will go on the male side.

And if the piano was on the female side,

who's going to move it to the male side?

I dare say,

I will give a special dispensation for piano removal.

I trust you'll make sure this line is observed Mr. Adams.

I'll do my job Mrs. Ryan, as I always do.

Yes, but you're not bothered

to hide your disapproval, will you?

Your attitude Mr. Adams-

Mrs Ryan, good.

I was looking for you.

Could you spare a few minutes?

-[dramatic music] -[clothes rustling]

-[footsteps thumping] -[dramatic music]

Anyone could slip away, while the household is busy,

while you're in your steel room or I'm upstairs.

[Mr Jarvis hitting his body]

They could meet in here.

-[footsteps thumping] -[dramatic music]

-Or here. -[dramatic music]

I have work to do.

I won't keep you long.

Let me finish.

[footsteps thumping]

This is most unnecessary.

[dramatic music]

[door hinges squeaking]

-[footsteps thumping] -[dramatic music]

They can have a party in here all night long

and we wouldn't hear a thing.

I have duty to those girls.

We could spend half our lives trying to keep them apart

and they'll spend all of theirs trying

to get back together.

And if you don't believe,

that you should prevent them from doing so,

then you're not the gentleman I thought you are.

Then we're destined to disappoint each other.

[dramatic music]

[carriage wheels rattling]

-Wow. -[playful flute music]

Lunatics or the feeble-minded, we can take our choice.

[playful flute music]

Are you telling me to remove my white line?

You must do, as you think fit

but they may find it amusing.

Oh, then they must laugh at me, mustn't they?

As you do?

I do not.

Mrs. Ryan.

You're making a mistake.

You found two old blankets and three old candles.

If you finished with me-

And because of that,

I have engineered an early departure to Cumberland,

your girls are unhappy,

my men are dreading it,

and still you are making a fool of yourself.

Thank you.

I didn't realise you had engineered this removal.

[Mr. Jarvis breathing hard]

I helped His Lordship make up his mind.

-[gentle music] -[footsteps thumping]

-[papers rustling] -[keys rattling]

[gentle music]

[writing quill squeaking]

Dear Mr. Jarvis,

I'm at a loss to understand your recent behaviour towards me.

How could you tell me so brutally,

that I am the cause of your departure?

If this is true,

it means that you prefer a cold and hated household

to the one I have created at Taplow's.

[gentle music]

And if it's not true, then you said it to hurt me,

and that was cruel.

[writing quill squeaking]

-[water splashing] -[lever clicking]

-[Fred groaning] -[lever clicking]

I told him not to,

but he does not know what fair play is.

Tell you what, I'll make it up to you.

No, no, don't bother.

I will, even if you scold me.

You see, I know Willie's really [mumbles]

Oh yeah, what?

Oh, give up Joe, do you really think

he's gonna help anyone but George Cosmo.

Fred, I'm not in a race with someone,

never have been, too new.

[water splashing]

Well I don't wanna see Willie trample over everybody.

You ready?

Love don't you.

[Fred laughing]

What? Now you're really having a laugh, aren't you?

Well, it's up to you, man.

I overheard her talking to Mrs. Ryan.

[dramatic music]

No more scent, no more hairy legs,

no sweet, sweet smell.

[dramatic music]

Go up to Willie

He's up by now, trying home.

Let's do that, anyway, Mrs. Diggins is waiting.

[footsteps thumping]

-[dramatic music] -[footsteps thumping]

Good luck.

Can't live without you.

Right.

I can't Grace, I can't.

-[footsteps thumping] -[dramatic music]

Hey, hey, hey, I haven't finished.

[indistinct]

[Frank groaning]

Don't get rude!

Freaking out, didn't have to drink this stuff as well?

Oh, bells bells,

stickiness is gotten on my teeth.

[indistinct]

It's on my waist coat.

It's the very least of your worries.

Why is my top floor corridor written like a French brothel?

Sorry Mr. Jarvis.

Why?

Mr. Forest.

Mr Stinkinson

And what does that good soul done

to deserve such bad treatment?

Well, she likes it sir.

Who told you that?

Oh, bastard.

Mr. Matkin, who told you that?

Well, Mr. Cosmo, sir.

Mr. Cosmo.

Tell me, which foulplay is noticeable by his absence.

[dramatic music]

[William mumbling]

[Joe mumbling]

[dramatic music]

[Cosmo humming]

-[footsteps thumping] -[Cosmo whistling]

[gentle music]

I have only ever been a devoted friend to you.

I think of you so highly that I can not be convinced,

as you seem to wish

that you're a cold and indifferent man.

[gentle music]

You must know my feelings towards you.

And if it must be me who takes the first step

and acknowledging those feelings, then I do so now.

And I trust in your former gentleness

and goodness to receive this letter kindly.

Yours, most sincerely, Flora.

[gentle music]

-[footsteps thumping] -[door hinges squeaking]

[footsteps thumping]

Oh, could we have the door open?

-Yes ma'am. -Yes.

-[door hinges squeaking] -[Mrs. Diggins coughing]

Thank you, Mr. Adams.

Sir.

[footsteps thumping]

So Mrs. Diggins, which of these fragrant gentlemen

will you entrust with Her Ladyship?

Well, I haven't changed my mind Mr. Jarvis.

I don't like Yorkshireman,

and I won't have anyone

who can't speak like a civilised christian.

And as I am not permitted to prise apart

the black boys, Joseph, or what's his name?

And so it is-

Well, it'll have to be him,

the ugly one.

-[bouncy music] -Very well.

The ugly one will stay here,

the more presentable ones may leave.

[bouncy music]

[footsteps thumping]

[bouncy music]

Leave the door open, Mr. Adams.

[bouncy music]

She knew, who she's gonna choose from the very start.

She's been watching us laughing.

Who's been picked?

Oh, let's try and guess here,

but which of if the footmen isn't here?

George?

Bloody George.

Oh, I never thought it'd be him.

So he'll be here a couple of months?

With today's fragrant gentlemen.

[footsteps thumping]

[Grace laughing]

[bouncy music]

You'll make yourself available to Mrs. Ryan

at the start of day, every day.

Yes Mr. Jarvis.

And report to Mrs. Diggins at noon.

Yes, Mrs. Ryan.

Well, I don't understand a word he says

so it's useless me asking him anything.

You're a gabbler and a mutterer.

Yes. Mrs.Diggins. Sorry Mrs Diggins.

You'll give Mrs. Ryan and Mrs. Diggins

the same deference and obedience you give me, understand?

Sir.

So you will have a better spring

than your colleagues in Cumberland.

After all, Mrs. Ryan is no Mrs. Castle Diane.

No, sir, she certainly isn't.

Mrs. Castle Diane was an old housekeeper

at George's last house.

[laughs] Mrs. Castle Diane, quite a character.

Tease her to marry a few times.

[dramatic music]

Unless you have anything else.

I'm sure Mr. Cosmo will be a credit to you

and respect my maids.

I dare say he'll have his uses?

[Mr. Jarvis] You can go.

Sir.

[dramatic music]

-Yes. -[footsteps thumping]

-[footsteps thumping] -[Cosmo cheering]

[dramatic music]

[door thudding]

It's only party time, isn't it?

I know.

[Grace and Cosmo laughing]

I'm joyous and how did you know?

She's in bed by eight every night.

I know [indistinct] poor girl.

What a shame.

[Grace and Cosmo laughing]

[dramatic music]

[both kissing]

[gentle music]

[group chattering]

[crockery clinking]

So Mrs. Higgins.

Mrs. Diggins.

Oh, I beg your pardon Mrs. Diggins.

You don't find it dull when the household has moved on?

Only the dull are dull.

[crockery clinking]

Of course.

At least one person will not be sharing

our hurt, colds and rheumatism.

I have rheumatism of my own, thank you,

as has my Lady.

[crockery clinking]

[lady laughing]

Mr Kraus, I was wondering

what you put in my cramon glass.

I was worried it was a little thick.

Thick? No, it's perfect Mrs. Ryan,

I couldn't do it better myself.

-Oh good. -[glasses clinking]

[Kraus speaking in foreign language]

-[ladies exclaiming] -[ladies laughing]

Oh no.

Oh goodness, oh, that's...

[Kraus laughing]

Oh that's beautiful.

[cutlery clinking on crockery]

Jarvis.

[gentle music]

A small token,

Mrs Ryan, a vote of thanks from the footmen, ballets, maids

and all those that are going North in the morning.

Thank you for your hospitality, Mrs. Ryan.

How kind, really, really very kind.

And these flowers, [giggles]

[Felix giggling]

How did you get them to be so delicate Mr. Kraus?

Well, I shall tell you when we return.

Special occasion, special wine to go with?

Madeira, please.

I'm sorry, please excuse me.

I have to...

[footsteps thumping]

[suspense music]

[ladies singing]

Mr. Cosmo.

Sir.

Carry on, it's George I want.

[footsteps thumping]

[crowd cheering]

[man laughing]

* La, la, la, la la

[footsteps thumping]

Mr. Cosmo?

Yes, sir.

Tell me about Mrs. Castle Diane.

Well, she was strict, stout.

No doubt of that.

But fair [claps].

And?

Well, she kept it good,

I never really had much trouble with her Mr. Jarvis.

Hope you've had your fill of supper, Mr. Cosmo?

You won't be returning to the party.

[fingers snapping]

[footsteps thumping]

[dramatic suspense music]

[all cheering]

[all screaming and cheering]

[all laughing]

[group chattering]

[all cheering]

Listen, something's happened.

It's George, George Cosmo.

He's in big trouble.

What has he done?

It's Mr. Jarvis.

He just took him off, face like thunder,

said he ain't coming back to the party.

What has he done?

I see it meaning,

he met some woman in the night.

Bloody hell.

Don't know that?

Might not be.

So he's the dirty predator, is he?

And Mr. Jarvis will be applying the thumbscrews.

So one of you use must be shitting up on self?

[dramatic music]

Oh that size?

[dramatic music]

That size is too upland for my taste.

I mean the French have no restraint.

They must overdo everything.

Overeat the cake [laughs].

Pudding, same thing I suppose [chuckles].

[Felix laughs]

Yeah, and as for the British,

Chartsworth, Chartsworth it is beautiful.

[Felix laughs]

[dramatic music]

[footsteps thumping]

[door hinges squeaking]

[door thudding]

Mrs. Castle Diane was the first housekeeper

Ashwell Manor, official morbidity, 120 years ago.

If you'd have ever worked there you would know

that their own rest rules are hung

about the servants' hall,

but you didn't know that, did you?

And I must draw my own conclusions.

Sir, I'm sorry.

Mr. Jarvis, I'm really sorry.

Sorry you've been found out?

A forger and a liar.

I did forge the character sir, I know I shouldn't have-

You're a rogue, Mr. Cosmo, are you not?

Yes, Mr. Jarvis, but I didn't wanna lie.

I needed a job sir,

but I'm a good footman.

I work hard sir.

Cosmo, is that a name?

I've always had a feeling about that name.

It is sir, I don't care what I do.

I'll work in the garden sir.

I'll do the portering.

We prefer our porters to be honest.

I'll be a nice servant sir.

I'll work my way back to footman, all right?

Just let me prove to you sir,

prove I can do it.

Just let me stay sir, please.

Mr. Jarvis, let me stay.

Mr. Kraus, I'm sorry.

I won't be long.

If we could speak for a moment.

-I already said. -Now.

Please.

Of course.

[footsteps thumping]

[door thudding]

Damn.

[suspense music]

Nice people.

Hey, it's not my auntie Nelly, is it?

[group chattering]

Oh, come on [indistinct].

Okay, I'm just trying remembering.

It is, it's my aunty Nelly.

* This is my aunty Nelly

* She had a walker Nelly

* And every time she walked in

* Wow wow like a jelly

[all servants laughing]

I thanked her.

Barely, she turned to reply and you'd gone.

My face was in a rift for the effort of smiling

at the bloody woman alone.

[Felix exclaims]

Oh Lord, I'll grovel and forlorn some more, happy?

Happy.

[footsteps thumping]

[door hinges squeaking]

[footsteps thumping]

I have the measure of you, Mr. Cosmo.

You're cocky, pragmatic.

With a moral backbone of an earthworm.

Look, I'm gonna be honest with you sir, all right.

A little late, perhaps?

I've always been a waster sir.

Am I arguing?

But this is like a light has dawned on me,

and I've seen how everyone works,

and how everyone behaves,

and how things should be.

I'm not a waster anymore, sir.

Finished?

Yeah, yeah.

Except I used to wanna be a ballet, sir,

a fancy den, neckties, girls, high heels,

you know, that kind of thing,

but I don't anymore, sir.

I wanna be a butler.

I see,

and if I could believe a word of it,

I would be gratified.

I'll decide what to do with you in the morning.

Now get out of my sight.

Sir.

[footsteps thumping]

[door hinges squeaking]

[door thudding]

* When you're gone I'll mourn you like widows ought to do *

* But just till then I'll buy my time *

* And do what good wives do

* I'll stay your growl

* I'll calm your growl

* I'll poke your coat

* I'll sieve your flour

* I'll knead your bread

* I'll stay in your bed

* And when your old man comes in knocking *

* Like old men they do

* I shall come in

* Cause there ain't no sin

* Where wives and husbands stay *

[all cheering and clapping]

[indistinct]

[all cheering and clapping]

[footsteps thumping]

[dramatic music]

You've been dismissed?

[chuckles] Not yet.

But you will be,

I mean you must be out on a lease.

No it has nothing to do with you.

Of course it is.

They're working out now they know who the man is, they-

It's not that.

[suspense music]

It's my character.

Jarvis knows I'm forging my character.

-No. -[dramatic music]

[footsteps thumping]

[dramatic music]

[door hinges squeaking]

[footsteps thumping]

Mrs Ryan.

Mr. Jarvis.

[gentle music]

[door thudding]

Have you forgotten something?

My manners, I'm sorry I had to leave so early.

I had intended to come back.

It's fine we managed without you.

There was a problem with one of the men.

And is it solved?

-Postponed. -[gentle music]

But it was always on the cards, love.

We always knew there was a risk they'd find me out.

No we didn't know, we thought you'd gotten away with it.

But don't worry about me.

I'll be all right, I'll start somewhere else.

Don't you want me to come with you?

How can I?

I'll run up and pack my things.

Come with me to the work house?

Come and sleep in a ditch with me, Grace?

I don't mind.

Well, I suppose you never had to do it.

I can't bear to lose you.

[gentle music]

Neither will I.

We'll meet again.

No we won't.

You know we won't.

Once you've gone-

But, I'm more frank.

I'm not taking you away from everything you love.

[gentle music]

I love you more.

[gentle music]

I'm not taking you.

[dramatic music]

[fire crackling]

[crockery clinking]

[fire crackling]

Well, as pleasant as this is,

a long day tomorrow, Mrs. Ryan.

Thank you for a delightful meal.

Mr. Kraus cooked it.

So he did?

Well,

good night, Mrs Ryan.

[fire crackling]

[footsteps thumping]

[door hinges squeaking]

[door thudding]

[dramatic music]

[footsteps thumping]

-[paper rustling] -[gentle music]

[gentle music]

[fire crackling]

[gentle music]

[fire crackling]

[gentle music]

[bouncy music]

[group chattering]

[metal boxes rattling]

Whoa, hold it, hold it.

Be careful my boxes must be loaded last

and unloaded first, hurry.

[footsteps thumping]

How do you ever see such chaos Mrs Ryan?

Every time the men return or leave Mr, Kraus.

Johnny, don't drag it on the floor, pick it up.

[footsteps thumping]

When you men have gone,

silence will descend like a blessing.

Oh when we're dying of cold and damp,

please think of us with pity.

[footsteps thumping]

[indistinct] to take care of yourselves.

[footsteps thumping]

Carrying on this thing ends.

Too late man.

What do we do with it then?

I'll give it out

its been found to be very musical for now.

Yeah, but it's on the list.

Every time you take a shit,

you're gonna place issues on your workman's door.

Yeah, but only on the [indistinct].

Mr. Forest, undo those ropes and unload your things.

My things, sir?

It's your turn to go off that cart

and back to your room, you're staying.

[cart squeaking]

You scream often?

Use you head son, George get the sack,

and needs somebody to stay behind.

Yours ever so truly.

Yeah, make me a hand-call on the box.

[rope scratching on metal box]

[footsteps thumping]

[door hinges squeaking]

Mr, Cosmo, your chop board is in here.

[footsteps thumping]

[door hinges squeaking]

When I read the work of fiction,

you passed off this character.

[glass clinking]

I thought you were too good to be true.

[paper rustling]

Have you been a footman before?

[writing quill squeaking]

No sir.

Then it's been a remarkable performance.

Quite the showman.

[paper rustling]

Very well,

[paper rustling]

lets go and pack your bags.

Thank you Mr. Jarvis.

But just thinking sir, about the old greenhouses.

What did I just tell you to do?

Well, while you're away sir I can put them on.

Mr. Cosmo?

When the spring, I can do your ditches

and clear out the old pond.

You won't get the chance.

You're taking William Forest's place in Cumberland.

Getta move on.

[George exclaims]

Go on.

[George chuckles]

[dramatic music]

Yes sir.

Yes sir.

[dramatic music]

I will be watching you, Mr. Cosmo.

To have a shadow one step out of line and I'll have you-

Yes, sir.

Thank you, sir.

[footsteps thumping]

I've not been sacked.

[dramatic music]

I'll make your life miserable, I'm warning you.

Thank you sir, [indistinct].

-[footsteps thumping] -[William whistling]

I thought you're gone, where the hell have you been?

Went to a dance, with Mr. Jarvis.

Throughout the night, was it you?

I thought he was supposed to be with some bloody woman.

Well, stay well, get your corky hands off me.

Just tell me who it was.

Listen, whoever she was,

will keep the bed warm for you.

Piss off William.

George come on, I can keep a secret.

George, you know, tell me who it was

who's the maid, who is it?

All right, posh, skinny, tall,

spoiled and desperate for it.

[dramatic music]

Lady Caroline?

[George laughs]

Tell me who it was.

You're joking, you were with Lady Caroline.

What is that? You would have been minced meat.

So going by that, you would have been sacked George.

You know it's a scandal now,

you gonna keep me on the kidney's wipe.

[Mr. Jarvis] Mr. Cosmo.

Go run.

I'll see you in a few months.

You won.

Lady Caroline?

I won her back.

See you bro.

[bouncy music]

Where's Mr. Cosmo?

He will be my guest.

Oh, boys.

[dramatic music]

Why don't you get that?

[carriage wheels rattling]

[All] Bye!

-[bouncy music] -[carriage wheels rattling]

Where's George going, what has happened?

You'll never guess who's he's been doing it with.

-[bouncy music] -[carriage wheels rattling]

Well, Mrs Ryan, see you in the Summer.

I look forward to it Mr. Jarvis.

[bouncy lively music]

[carriage door thudding]

[carriage wheels rattling]

-[bouncy lively music] -[carriage wheels rattling]

[bouncy lively music]