Original subtitles

[melodic flowing music playing]

[music ends]

[lively orchestral music playing]

[lively piano music playing]

♪ Maidens of St. Trinian's Gird your armor on ♪

♪ Grab the nearest weapon Never mind which one ♪

♪ The battle's to the strongest Might is always right ♪

♪ Trample on the weakest Glory in their plight ♪

♪ St. Trinian's! St. Trinian's Our battle cry ♪

♪ St. Trinian's! St. Trinian's Will never die ♪

♪ Stride towards your fortune Boldly on your way ♪

♪ Never once forgetting There's one born every day ♪

♪ Let our motto be broadcast Get your blow in first ♪

♪ She who draws the sword last Always comes off worst ♪

[children cheering]

[orchestral music playing]

[man 1, in Italian] Apparently, she's a nice and friendly girl.

And without inhibitions, His Highness.

[man 2, in Italian] Yes, but maybe she's too energetic, Eugenio.

[chuckling]

[in English] Could you tell His Highness, please, whether all these young ladies

have obtained their parents' consent to marriage?

Oh! Nobody goes on my register without their moms' and dads’ consents.

That wouldn't be right, would it?

It’s certainly essential as far as His Highness is concerned,

that their parents are willing.

Oh! You bet they are! Europe's foremost bachelor prince.

Handsome, rich, needs an heir.

To my girls' moms and dads, that's like… like…

magic water tumbling down a fairy dell, if you'll pardon the use of poetry.

[prince] That girl, Osborne.

Can you tell me something about her background, please?

Background? That's Clacton Pier, ain't it?

Oh, back-- I see what you mean. Oh, her dad's in pickles.

She’s got class, Jane has.

[prince] Oh. What is that? A hockey team?

[Harry laughs] The Sultan of Meerut's got them.

He couldn't make up his mind which one to marry, so he took the lot!

Mohammedan, of course. All on the level.

[prince] Who is she?

[Harry] There’s a sweet domestic kid.

Untouched. The photograph.

Would it not be possible for some of these girls to be brought to Rome

for His Highness to meet, on approval?

What do you mean, "on approval"?

St. Trinian's Marriage Bureau is a respectable agency.

Licensed annually by the Barset county council.

I was naturally going to suggest that the girls came with a chaperone.

They would be my guests, of course, in Rome.

Oh, they would, eh?

-Certainly. -Oh, I see.

Oh, well, that's a different cup of cappuccino.

I might be able to fix something after school breaks up, of course.

-When is that? -July.

-Oh. -But that is nearly three months' time.

And at the end of June,

Miss Gloria van Hyde is flying from Hollywood to meet His Highness.

Yeah, well. Supposing I get my girls here a bit earlier?

-How about that, eh? -You think that's possible?

Well, a bit tricky, you know,

in the middle of term, but I'll do me best.

Can’t say fairer than that, can I?

This is Mr. Edwards from England, Mother.

Your mom? Pleased to meet you.

Mr. Edwards runs a marriage bureau

attached to a girls' school called St. Trinian's.

That seems a very strange arrange­ment.

Is St. Trinian's a major public school?

Oh, very major, lady.

I think we have a reference book somewhere in the library, Your Highness.

[Harry] No need to look it up, Your Worship. I've got a prospectus here.

All the dope. Here. Names of past pupils. Things people have said about the school.

Edited, of course.

[Harry] Set in sylvan surroundings,

St. Trinian's offers to girls all the advantages of modern education.

-[woman screams] -[gunshot fired]

-It provides plenty of scope -[automatic gunfire]

for outdoor sports such as tennis,

swimming, and other fruitful activities,

while at the same time, permitting a healthy measure of freedom.

[sexy whistle]

The qualifications of the teaching staff speak for themselves.

Hand-picked, as they were, by that well-known

pioneer of female education, Miss Amelia Fritton.

[subdued music playing]

[footsteps approaching]

Not more!

Really, it's hard to believe

that so many schoolgirls could write so much

about the political and economic history of Europe.

With a prize like this, who can wonder?

A free tour of Europe, the best hotels,

friendly games with the top schools of the continent.

It's a schoolgirl's heaven!

Even so, I hardly think that politics and economics

are suitable subjects to set them.

There's bound to be a school some­where that'll put up a show.

Well, if there is, one thing's absolutely certain,

it won't be this one.

-Oh, which? -St. Trinian's. Mr. Bassett,

didn't you have something to do with that school once?

Miss Brenner, every morning that I wake up,

I praise the day I was transferred to this department.

Happy man!

Just look at this cover even.

What earthly chance could they possibly stand?

[Miss Stevens] What's that? Red ink?

[Miss Brenner] Red ink? [sniffs] Red biddy.

I'm desperate, my dear fellow. Desperate.

Really, really desperate.

If I don't hear soon, I shall go mad. I'm absolutely at the end of my tether.

I don’t care what you do. Do something.

St. Trinian's, I presume?

We're expecting the new headmistress, Dame Maud Hackshaw,

but nobody can tell me when she's leaving Australia.

What makes you think she’ll be any more successful than the last horror?

She’s been running a borstal institution in New South Wales.

"Kill-or-cure Hackshaw", they call her.

She'll need to be.

Did I hear a rumor that you've called in the army?

My dear chap, we had to protect the country.

Directly they sentenced Miss Fritton, the whole teaching staff resigned.

Sisters in crime, of course.

I spoke to the director-general.

Well, we just couldn’t leave that tribe of little cannibals to their own devices.

Still, the army’s going a bit far, old man, don’t you think?

I tried the police. I tried the women's voluntary organizations.

No one would go near the place.

I don’t wonder.

It can only be a matter of a few short days now

before the whole ghastly business reaches the press.

I don’t sleep anymore. I'm afraid to. I might dream.

There's only one thing to do, old man. Open a vein.

Here. Try a couple of these. Keep the box.

I haven't needed them for months.

[lively military music playing]

I-I can’t see how a whole radar unit can possibly disappear, Reginald.

Except through gross carelessness.

I assure you, sir, the van was locked.

What is it, Eric?

I have to report number four observation post.

Oh, no, no, no. Not the Bren gun?

Afraid so, sir. That’s not all. The crew have gone too.

-But that’s impossible! -I know, sir.

You’d better send young Fletcher out with a search party at once.

I’m afraid young Fletcher didn't report for duty this morning, sir.

Why was I not told this?

Well, we rather hoped that young Fletcher might turn up, sir.

You know, there are times, Eric, when I say to myself,

is all this really happening, or is it just a ghastly nightmare?

It's just a ghastly nightmare, sir.

-Get me brigade HQ. -Yes, sir.

-The brigadier. -Yes, sir.

Brigade? Major White­hart for the brigadier.

-Eric. -[Eric] Sir.

Eric. You will yourself organize a search party

to ascertain the where­abouts of number four OP.

And all other missing personnel and equipment.

And where do I find the personnel to find the personnel, sir?

[inhales]

At times like this, Eric, each man must do his best.

Yes, sir.

Brigadier, sir.

Whitehart here, sir, reporting from St. Trinian's, sir.

I-I-I need reinforcements immediately, sir.

What on earth are you burbling about, Whitehart?

You're not at war, man. You're looking after a girls' school.

Well, that was the story, sir.

Well, what do you mean?

They're fiends in human shape, sir. We've had casualties, sir.

And what is worse, sir, the men's morale is beginning to crumble.

Evidently, but I shall certainly not send reinforcements.

You will hand over to the new headmistress in a few days' time.

Meanwhile, carry on. That's all.

[sighs]

Same old story. Absolutely no contact

between the top brass and the men at the front.

[gunshots]

What the devil's that?

Four OP, I don't doubt, sir.

[trumpet blaring]

[alarm ringing]

[man] Incoming!

[shouting in background]

-[gunshots] -[alarm ringing]

[lively music playing]

-Hello, Mr. Edwards. -Hello, boys.

-Nice to see you back. -Oh, ta.

-Had a good time in Rome? -Oh, lovely.

Here, I brought a couple of pairs of real silk socks for you.

[lively saxophone music playing]

Harry.

Girls! Harry’s back.

Girls! Hey! Harry’s back.

-Harry! -Harry!

-Oh, Harry! -Harry!

Harry! Hey. Why didn’t you let us know?

-Break it up, kids. Harry’s back. -[girls] Oh, Harry!

[Jane] How did you get on, Harry?

-[Myrna] What happened in Rome? -[Marjorie] Did you meet the prince?

-Yeah. -Is he interested in love, Harry?

Is he interested in marriage, you mean, don't you?

Did he sort of fancy anyone of us in particular?

Yeah, well, that’s the trouble. He sort of fancied the lot of you.

He wants you all to come to Rome as his guests.

[gasping]

A good-looking cove too. Rolling in nicker.

His family makes café espresso machines.

When are we going to leave, Harry?

How can we before the end of July?

Yeah. That's just it.

Gloria van Hyde's flying out to him from Hollywood on appro in June.

Oh, it's a bloomin' shame. Sitting duck too.

That kicks a royal marriage in the kisser.

Yeah, I suppose there's no chance of you…

-No. No. There wouldn't be. -What?

Well, with that UNESCO competition you went in for?

-No. -No.

We didn't stand an earthly.

Oh, it's a pity I was away, you know.

I could have fixed that exam through my book-making interests.

Don't be an idiot!

No, straight up, I could.

An Oxford don who specializes in up and down accumulators

owes us 300 smackers. I could've shoved the papers to him.

He'd have given us the right answers. Stands to reason.

Well, it's too late now.

The exam papers had to be at the ministry of education today.

We've still got the questions here.

What's the good of that?

They won’t start marking them till Monday.

How soon do you think we can get hold of that don mug?

-[gunshots] -You shouldn’t have let these kids

have that Bren gun. You can’t hear yourself talk!

-[gunshots] -[trumpet blaring]

[tense music playing]

[lively piano music playing]

The coast’s clear, Bridget.

Okay, Harry. Let it rip.

-Are you going to be long? -Lady! I’m talking to my mom.

[mutters]

Okay. Off you go.

[indistinct chattering]

[Marcia] It's a dreadful waste of ice cream.

[woman coughs]

A Walker Duplex 1908.

I can open it standing on my head.

I want to catch my husband before he comes off night duty.

Hurry up, can’t you?

Lady, my mom's in bed with flu. I'm waiting for a report from the doctor.

-Look, it'll only be-- -Would you mind, lady?

[Harry] Look out, Bridget, mobile cops.

Cops? Judy, lights out.

Cops, girls! Lights out!

Put the lights out, someone!

[Myrna] Pull the curtains, girls, and I’ll carry on.

I could have sworn I saw a light go off there, Jack.

Ah, probably the night watchman.

Better take a look. Hang on.

-One of them's getting out. -Stand by to beat it.

[footsteps approaching]

[whispers] Someone's coming.

[Annabel whispers] Scramble!

[footsteps thudding]

[door creaks]

[gasps]

-Daphne! -How did you get in?

The door wasn't locked.

[man on police radio] WV calling five E for Edward and six E for Edward.

Proceed at once to Hatton Garden.

Stop and question driver of black Humber, NGU 668.

Believed to have been concerned in a diamond robbery.

-Hey, Jack! -What is it?

Emergency call. Hatton Garden. Come on.

It's all right, Bridget, they've scarpered.

-I’ve-- -It's okay, ma.

You've worn down me resistance.

[huffs]

[safe lock clicks]

That’s done it. Where's that torch?

[whispers] Come on.

That's enough in here now, girls. Hold back.

-These are the exam papers. -Quick then, let's find ours.

Fluffy, have you got the new set ready?

Yes. Here they are.

Here's ours.

[indistinct speech]

Okay.

Now be careful to put those back in the same place.

Yes, I will.

[tense music playing]

Come on, lift that carpet. Put it right.

Mind that. The case over there.

Oh, who's been dropping cigarette butts?

I think Prestwick better find his own way out of that trouble, right?

-[laughs] Yes, I rather agree with you. -[knock on door]

Come in.

[director] Ah, Miss Brenner.

The results of the UNESCO examin­ation, I presume?

Yes, sir.

Well, who is it? Cheltenham Ladies College?

Wycombe Abbey? Crouch End High School?

St. Trinian's!

Oh no, sir!

Is this some inter-office joke, Miss Brenner?

-[Bassett] Oh, yes, yes, it must be. -No, sir.

St. Trinian's. Top politics. Top history. Top economics.

Top school!

Well, it’s absolutely fantastic.

It’s utterly incredible.

For such a thing to happen to us at a time like this

is absolutely disastrous.

Bassett. Bassett!

[yelling]

-[thud] -Oh, Mr. Brown, are you all right?

[train whistle blowing]

-I’ll put this on the rack. -[woman] Thank you.

[man] Why, surely, it’s-- Yes, it's Joseph Mangan.

Do you remember me? Mr. Roberts.

How could I ever forget you, sir?

-[Roberts] My wife. -How do you do?

We, um, we saw a lot of each other in the old days, you know.

Oh, really?

Oh, it's quite all right. I'm sure Joseph's not embarrassed.

No, of course not.

Thanks to you, sir, that’s all behind me now.

Those, um, "crime doesn't pay" talks you gave us,

now they wouldn't necessarily appeal to everyone,

but do you know, they did me the world of good.

I’ll always be grateful.

I’ve turned over a completely new leaf now, you know.

Oh, I’m glad to hear that, Joe.

What're you doing now? Traveling?

Traveling. Yes, that’s right, sir. Um, traveling, um,

samples of men’s ties, socks, and things.

-Going far? -Um…

No, as a matter of fact, I’m getting out at this station. What a pity.

Oh, dear, never mind.

You know, it's men like you that make me realize

that a prison governor’s job isn’t utterly pointless after all.

Perish the thought, sir, perish the thought.

And how are things?

Oh. I mustn't grumble.

-Well, keep up the good work. -Yes, I will. Yes.

-Goodbye, Mrs. Roberts. -Goodbye.

Fancy meeting him like that.

Joseph was at the top of his profession. Gelignite Joe, they called him.

Specialized in diamond robberies. They said he was an incorrigible criminal,

but I've always gone on the principle that nobody is beyond redemption.

[dramatic music playing]

-[Mrs. Roberts] What's the matter, Henry? -Oh no.

He's running like a hare down the road. Stop the train.

[lively music playing on car's radio]

Could you tell me the way to St--

[man] What?

[Joe] Could you tell me the right time, please?

Oh.

-Quarter past eight. -[Joe] Oh.

Thank you very much.

-Good night. -Good night.

[dog barking]

Did you hear what he said?

"Could you tell me the way to St--", and then he noticed our uniforms.

That could only mean St. Trinian's.

What does it matter, Sammy? You are awful. You suspect everybody.

-Well, it’s my duty to, Ruby. -Yes, but we're off duty now, darling.

I expect he was a commercial traveler or something.

Let’s forget him. Look, if you could take your hols

the first two weeks in June, we could go to the Isle of Wight.

Well, it’s not going to be so easy, my dear.

There won’t be anything to do around here once Dame Maud takes over.

I think we ought to wait and see.

Oh, Sammy. You promised me faithfully

that as soon as things were under control at St. Trins,

it would be a white wedding and the Isle of Wight.

It was our little joke. Remember?

-Yes. I remember. -Well, that was ages ago,

and ever since then, we seem to have drifted.

Oh, no, we haven't, Ruby.

Yes, we have. I don’t think you realize how much you’ve changed.

You used to call me your little blue lamp baby.

Well, we’ve grown up a bit since then.

D’you know? Sometimes I don't think you really want to marry me at all.

-Of course, I do, Ruby. -Well, I'm not the only one who thinks so.

It’s the talk of the policewomen’s powder room.

What business is it of those female flatfeet?

Well, you can’t stop us girls gossip­ing.

You know what would put things right, don’t you?

No. What?

-Speak to the chief tomorrow. -Tomorrow?

Oh, please, Sammy. It'd mean so much to me.

I do so adore you, you silly old superintendent.

Just think, two weeks in June. Wedding, All Saints, on May 31st.

Oh, fabulous day, calloo-callay!

Speak to the vicar tomorrow evening about the bans.

Yes, well, I, uh, I don't think we ought to rush our fences.

There aren't any more fences to rush.

That's no reason for making it a five-furlong sprint.

Oh, do be romantic just for once. Just think in a few weeks,

on the beach at Ventnor, me in my spotted sun top

and you in your striped shorts.

I threw them away last winter.

Well, I'll get you a glorious new pair at Nicholson's.

Now, look here, Ruby, I'm not having you going into Nicholson's and… and…

In any case, it's time we were getting back.

Oh, must we?

Yes. Well, the night squad comes on at 9:30, you know,

and they'll be wanting the car.

All right. You're the master.

[soft music playing on radio]

I think we ought to change that over now, Ruby.

Oh, Sammy. It's so us.

We are nearing the town, you know.

[man on radio] …left the train at Fordbridge, Barset, at 7:40,

wearing a light grey overcoat and carrying a brown suitcase.

Believed to be concerned in the Hatton Garden diamond robbery

of the fourteenth instant.

-[sighs] -Oh, Sammy, what have you done?

[train whistle blowing]

[whistles]

[whispers] Come here.

[Joe groans]

Hello, Dad. It is nice to see you. I got your postcard.

Good. My word, you are getting a big girl, aren’t you?

You haven’t pulled off another job, have you?

Oh. Well. Just a small one. To keep me hand in.

Thought I’d make myself scarce for a while.

Yes? Never mind that. I’ll take you to see Flash Harry.

-You'll be all right here. -Flash Harry? Is he still here?

-Riff-raff, that's what he is. -Flash is all right.

You know, I just don’t understand why we picked on this place.

I mean, your mother could well have afforded to send you

to one of the better public schools after that marvelous clean-up

she made at Lord What’s-his-name's place.

-Yeah, well come on. -All right.

[man groans]

-[soldier] Are you there, sir? -[man] Yes, what is it?

[soldier] Cable, sir. For the new headmistress, sir.

I'll take it.

Will there be anything else, sir?

Not-not a thing, Johnson. Not-not a thing.

Now, now, darling. Darling.

It says. "Dame Maud Hackshaw, to await arrival".

Oh, my goodness. I've got to see Harry.

[Harry] And I am happy to tell Your Highness

that St. Trinian's has won this here UNESCO competition.

No. Cross out "this here".

And we shall be with Your Highness in Rome

at the end of June. I am your obedient servant.

Etcetera.

Come on. Flash, this is my father. I got a postcard from him, remember?

How do?

It's all right, Father, Mavis is a friend of mine.

Really? Charming. Hello, Mavis.

-Hello, Mr. Mangan. -How do? I've heard a lot about you.

-Oh, have you? -Yeah. From Myrna.

Here, I don't want to seem inhospitable, Mr. Mangan,

but you ain't come visiting at a very convenient time.

We've got the army billeted on us.

Now you listen to me, Henry.

-Harry's the name. -Harry. You listen to me.

I'm going abroad very shortly,

but before I go, I want to spend a few days with my little girl.

-See? -[Harry] Not here?

-Why not? -This is a girls' school.

Men ain’t safe here. You’ll have to put up in the town.

I’m not going in the town.

-You in any trouble? -[scoffs]

Have you been eating garlic?

Yeah, I just come back from Rome. You know, "When in Rome".

-I said, you in any trouble? -[exhales] Trouble?

Yeah, you know.

No, my dear friend, that's all been behind me for ages. Ages.

It’s simply some fellows I used to get about with

who’ve got themselves into a bit of a spot.

I don't want to be around when they start asking questions, that’s all.

Well, if that’s all, you should've said. Here, Mavis, get him a drink.

Only, I've got the fair name of the school to think of, you understand?

Yes, I do appreciate that, Henry.

-Harry. -Harry.

Harry, I appreciate that.

I don’t know what’s going on,

but three carloads of cops are on their way here.

-What's that? -They've just been spotted

by our walkie-talkie outpost watching for Ma Hackshaw.

-How long before they get here, my dear? -A couple of minutes.

-We’ll smuggle you into the school, Dad. -Thank you, dear. That'll be nice.

Here, here. What d'you mean by giving us all that innocent stuff?

We've got enough trouble on our hands as it is.

I should say we have. Just look at this, Harry.

-Don't bother me now. -Come on.

If they only want to ask you a few questions--

They happen to be questions I don't want to answer and just to clinch the matter,

you've never so much as set eyes on me.

Is that absolutely crystal clear, my friend?

-I'll take that. -Come on, Dad. This way.

-Harry. -I wish I hadn't met him.

Henry.

[insisting] Harry.

What's narking you?

It's a telegram for Dame Maud Hackshaw.

Hey?

"Contrary to all expectations,

St. Trinian's have won UNESCO competition for continental tour.

To avoid poisoning Western European relations,

we urge you to withdraw school immediately on your arrival.

Culpeper Brown. Ministry of Education."

The dirty swine! This puts the skids on Rome.

Here, go and get the school together in the hall.

We'll hold a council of war.

My horoscope said it would be a day of trouble.

[bell ringing]

It's this ghastly silence I can't stand.

[sighs] I know, sir.

-Not hearing anything. Not knowing any-- -[phone rings]

-Hello, B company? -Brigade, here.

It's brigade, sir. Message from war office.

What is it?

Dame Maud Hackshaw’s plane landed 1800 hours.

And train 19:30.

Estimated time of arrival St. Trinian's 2100 hours.

-Thank you. -Eric.

Muster all troops with full equipment in 15 minutes. We're moving out.

Wacko, sir.

-Good evening, major. -Good evening.

We're looking for a wanted criminal who we have reason to believe

may be hiding in the school.

There are at least 200 of them here, my dear fellow.

I know that.

The point is, can I have your permission to search the premises?

You have my permission to have the premises. We're signing off, old boy.

Dame Maud Hackshaw is taking over, and I feel ten years younger.

Here, wait a minute.

-You're not leaving us alone here? -Oh, it's all right, sir.

I’ve taken advantage of the emergency regulat­ions.

-Our men are armed. -Oh, are they?

[clears throat]

[trumpet blaring]

Everything under control, Mckay?

Yes, sir. I've posted men all round the building.

Good. Then we'll search the ground floor and cellars first and then move upwards.

You take the west wing, Mckay, and I'll cover the east.

And remember, take care to move only in pairs.

[tense action music playing]

[Joe] Who's that?

Oh, don't worry about her. That's Virginia, the school swot.

[romantic music playing]

[tense music playing]

[Joe] Yes.

They're out there in strength, all right. They must know something.

What the devil am I going to do?

I wish this place wasn't so distract­ing.

All present and correct, sir.

What do you mean, "All present and correct"? Only half of them are here.

Fifty-four in hospital, 32 absent without leave,

seven drunk and incapable, otherwise, all present and correct, sir.

Oh, well.

[screaming]

What's going on in there?

I've had it from intelligence, sir, the girls are holding a protest meeting.

-What? The entire school? -I believe so, sir.

Ah, this is the opportunity I’ve been waiting for.

Before I leave this dump, I’m going to tell those little fiends

exactly what I think of them.

-Oh no, sir! -I faced Rommel in Africa

and the japs in Burma, and I’m not going to run away

from a pack of schoolgirls without giving them a piece of my mind.

Mine not to reason why, sir,

but I consider this as ill-advised as the charge of the light brigade.

You know, I think this place is sending him round the bend.

He’s after another gong, in my opinion.

Reginald! That's a very ungenerous remark to make about a gallant soldier.

[screaming]

-What the…? -[major screams] Put me down!

-What do we do? Attack? -[girls screaming]

I don't think the men will respond.

[captain] Yes, I see what you mean. We can’t just stand here and do nothing.

What about a white flag, sir? I mean, as an interim measure.

[yelling]

[groans]

Well, don’t stand there staring like a couple of idiots,

let's get out of this hell-hole.

Where to, miss?

Get in that driving seat!

[engine starts]

[cheering]

What’s the use, kids?

Fixing her won’t get us anywhere!

[Harry] Listen.

Listen!

Listen.

Now, look here. Bridget's quite right.

Nobbling the old lady ain't going to get us to the continent.

Now, what we want is a ringer, and for the benefit of you young ones

who might not know about racing,

a ringer is a nag who ain't the nag you think he is.

Now, look, I think we've got one in the stable.

It's a little bit risky, but if we all act organized, and no mucking about…

[dramatic music playing]

[innocent music playing]

[angry music playing]

[soft music playing]

[angry music playing]

[sneaky music playing]

[fast anxious music playing]

[dramatic music playing]

It's her! Dame Maud.

It's her! She's coming!

-[dramatic music playing] -[indistinct speech]

[angry music playing]

[wolf whistle]

[girls] Hey!

-We've seen a man. -He's in the clock tower. Come on.

[dramatic music playing]

[girl] Hey!

Hackshaw's just coming up the drive. Get cracking and make it snappy.

[dramatic music playing]

[cheering]

[all] Welcome to our school, Dame Maud. Welcome to St. Trinian's.

[all] Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

[lively piano music playing]

♪ Maidens of St. Trinian's Gird your armor on ♪

♪ Grab the nearest weapon Never mind which one ♪

♪ The battle's to the strongest Might is always right ♪

[distressed shout]

♪ Trample on the weakest Glory in their plight ♪

♪ St. Trinian's! St. Trinian's Our battle cry ♪

♪ St. Trinian's! St. Trinian's Will never die ♪

♪ Stride towards your fortune Boldly on your way ♪

♪ Never once forgetting There's one born every day ♪

♪ Let our motto be broadcast Get your blow in first ♪

♪ She who draws the sword last Always comes off worst ♪

[tense music playing]

Nobody up here.

Come on.

[distressed shouting]

-[bells clanging] -[shouting]

That clock’s fast.

[Harry] Psst!

Psst.

[Harry whispers] Come here.

You're looking for someone, ain't you?

-How do you know? -Word gets around in a joint like this.

If I were you, I wouldn't relax none of your precautions.

I have no intention of doing so.

I'm placing men around the entire building until further notice.

Oh! I'm very glad to hear it. Super. Very glad indeed.

Who's side are you on?

I'm a neutral observer.

Psst.

[dramatic music notes]

-[Bridget] Okay? -Yeah.

-[Joe] Well? Have they gone? -Yeah, they've gone.

But not far. I've just been pumping the super­intendent.

He ain't going to relax none of his precautions.

What do you mean?

He's posting men all round the entire building.

Until further notice.

Now, let's get this quite clear.

I have no intention of being run to earth in a female borstal.

A thing like that would ruin me with the boys.

Well, er, there might be a way out.

-What? -Well, you, uh,

you could take the school to Europe.

-What, me? -[Bridget] Instead of Dame Maud.

Like this? These are coming off the moment the coast is clear.

Great heavens, I'd rather do a stretch.

Mr. Mangan, we've only got to open the window

and you can do it.

What?

We wouldn’t really want to do a thing like that, Mr. Mangan.

[Joe] Blackmail. That’s what it is. Blackmail!

Hey! Get back, can't you? Let a lady work!

[dramatic music playing]

"…it would be an error of the first magnitude

to prevent their visiting Europe.

I have therefore decided to take them on this continental tour

and I should be obliged if you would make the necessary arrangements

for our departure. Yours truly, Maud Hackshaw, DBE."

It is incredible, sir.

I find it difficult to believe that a woman of Dame Maud’s experience

could possibly write that sort of a letter.

Always supposing she did, sir.

Oh. Surely not, Bassett.

No. No, there's no question. You can see for yourself.

It's genuine, all right, there's no doubt about that.

Excuse me. Have you finished with the sugar?

Here you are, guvnor.

I'm afraid we have no altern­ative, gentlemen,

but to face this thing, like men.

Thank you very much indeed.

And let them go to Europe, sir?

Well, what else? I leave it to you to make the necessary arrangements.

After all, it's your department, Bassett.

And I have a… fair amount of confidence in you.

I suppose you couldn’t extend the tour for a couple of weeks,

could you, old man? Take in the Scandinavian countries as well?

My word, there'll be something rotten in the state of Denmark then, all right.

From the bottom of my heart, Prestwick, please.

There’s only one thing for it, old man, open a vein.

Here, take these.

I shan't be needing them again for some time.

Keep the box.

Oh!

And on the ninth, there's an athletics match in Amsterdam.

And on the 15th, they are invited to take part

in the Vienna Mozart festival.

Mozart?

Oh no, Miss Brenner, it's not true?

And on the 21st,

they are challenged to a water polo match in Rome.

That's a tough game for girls.

It won't be a game. It’ll be liquid massacre.

Always supposing that our girls can swim.

"Our girls"? Oh, for heaven's sake, Miss Brenner.

-[Johnson] Mr. Bassett. -Yes?

What's the matter now?

I've tried every transport agency in London.

Not one of them will touch this tour.

-Are you surprised? -No, sir. Only exhausted.

Get me superintendent Kemp-Bird at Barset.

He's another battle-scarred veteran. I'll try the old comrade's act on him.

Hello. [sighs]

Your station had his description at 8:05.

It was 9:15 before anything was done about it.

Then when at last they do contact you, on no evidence at all,

you call­ out half the police in the county

and descend on a girls' school.

Mangan's daughter is at the school, sir.

For that very reason, I should have thought

that would be the last place he'd choose to go.

Superinten­dent, this case has been grossly mishandled.

I shall have to consider very seriously what action to take.

[knock on door]

Who is it?

It’s me. Can I come in?

Did you speak to him, Sammy?

-About what? -About us, silly. Your holiday.

If you want to know, he's thinking of giving me a very long holiday.

Good egg, Sammy! How long?

My hat. I've left my hat.

Oh.

I do hope you don't mind my saying this, sir,

but you’ve made me a very happy policewoman.

-He didn't seem to understand. -[door slams shut]

The chief simply came here to tell me

that I'd made a complete mess of everything.

And what could I say? Nothing!

Because I was sitting in the back of a police car

with a policewoman with a police radio tuned to the BBC.

Crumbs, it is a bit awkward, isn't it?

-I’m glad that’s sunk in. -[car engine starts]

So we can’t expect any help from the chief

or Scotland Yard or anybody now.

I’ve simply got to catch this fellow, Mangan, off my own bat,

or I’m out on my ear.

Oh, I see. I do see.

Of course, we must catch him. Our whole happiness depends upon it.

My job depends upon it.

[phone rings]

Hello?

Look, superintendent, I’m absolutely at my wits' end.

I wondered if you could possibly help me.

Oh. What about?

Well, I’ve got to get transport, staff drivers, interpreters,

and goodness knows what else for this St. Trinian's trip abroad.

It just occurred to me that it might be better to try

and obtain the transport locally.

I should've thought, Mr. Bassett, that this would've been the last district

in the whole of the United Kingdom where you can expect to find anyone

who’d be willing to transport St. Trinian's anywhere,

except over a cliff!

Well, I’m simply trying the more obvious channels first.

Later, no doubt, I shall reach the Orkneys and Shetlands.

Very well, Mr. Bassett, I’ll see what I can do.

Goodbye.

Sergeant, find out if there's anyone insane enough

to provide coaches to take St. Trinian's on a tour of the continent.

You're not serious, sir?

I never joke about that place.

You know, Ruby.

I’m absolutely convinced that there's some sort of a conspiracy going on there.

We know Mangan asked us the way to the school.

Yes, but we can't tell anyone.

No. So I’m all alone in the dog house.

-You've got me, Sammy. -You?

How do you think you--

Ruby, how are your foreign languages?

[in French] Oh. A bit of French.

[in English] No, Sammy.

No, Sammy.

Good heavens, yes. He said they needed interpreters.

-No, please, Sammy. -You could disguise yourself.

-Do your hair differently. -No, it's not fair.

No one would recognize you at the school after all these years.

How can you humiliate me like this? I'm an English woman,

with all the feelings of an English woman.

Ruby, dear.

Everything now rests on us catching this criminal.

Don't you see that?

Yes, I do, but I wish it could be someone else.

I just don't feel competent.

You're not, but there isn’t anyone else.

[knock on door]

Yes? You've been very quick.

The answers came in very quick, sir. They won't do it. Any of them.

-You've tried everyone? -Every single firm.

Except that chap near Wantage and he's had his phone cut off.

You mean the fellow we served the writs on?

Yes, sir.

He might be just the man for the job. Desperate for money and all that.

-Get me the Ministry of Education. -Yes.

What did you say that fellow’s name was?

Um, Captain Carlton-Ricketts.

Trades as the Dreadnought Motor Traction Company.

I don't think he’s quite that desperate, sir.

[chickens clucking]

[goat bleating]

[cow mooing]

Is Captain Ricketts about?

Captain’s not at home, sir.

-Can I give him a message? -Where can I get hold of him, then?

Would it be about the income tax?

No. I’d like to do business with him.

Oh! Eggs or tomato plants, sir?

I want to talk about transport, my man. I understand that you, um,

hire buses?

-Where do you want to go to? -Rome.

-Where? -Rome.

Well, eventually.

Oh.

Hold on a minute, then, will you?

[goat bleats]

Captain! Bloke outside wants to go to Rome.

Well, it’s a free country, isn’t it?

But you didn't understand what I said. He wants a bus.

I said, "Where to?" He says, "Rome."

Rome? You're sure he said "Rome" and not "home", Charlie?

He may not want to hire a bus, he may just want to catch one.

He looks as though he's waiting for a 52.

I suppose this whole thing's some ghastly misunderstanding.

You never know. Show him in.

Oi.

[flies buzzing]

The trouble is-- The trouble is, Jack, old boy,

our bus on the Scottish tour won't be back until next Wednesday.

The one that's taken the lady chemists to Germany for the wine festival,

well, you know what wine festivals are like, and you--

Have a seat, won't you? Not to mention lady chemists.

Uh, so see how I am? Ta-ta, old boy.

Always the same this time of the year. Everyone wants buses at the same time.

I would have got in touch with you by telephone,

but I understand it was cut off.

Just a temporary fault on the line. What can I do for you, sir?

I'm anxious to hire a couple of buses

to take a party of school children on a continental tour.

Oh? When?

Friday next.

Friday? That's a bit adjacent, isn’t it?

You probably heard all my best buses are out.

You have others, then?

Yes. Uh, not exactly in tiptop condition, old man,

-if you know what I mean. -That wouldn't matter in the least.

No, the important question is

whether you have any experienced continental drivers.

Well, in an emergency like this, I take it it is an emergency?

-Definitely. -Yeah, I thought it was.

Well, in an emergency like this,

I should take charge of the operation myself.

Relic of my sporting youth. Drove all over the contin­ent.

Know every back street in Hamburg, every café in Montmartre.

Wouldn't like to lose the little ladies, would you?

My personal feelings do not enter into this.

You know, I think if you're agreeable, we could settle this deal now.

Now? Well.

Could I have the itiner­ary and a deposit?

[goat bleats]

Oh, of course, I should have told you where I come from.

A deposit will scarcely be necessary in that case, I take it?

Customary terms of business, old boy.

I see. Shall we say 20 pounds?

Twenty p-- Make it a pony.

Done. I’ll confirm it tonight.

Well, now d'you think I might be able to look at the vehicles?

Just to see if they’ve all four wheels, you know?

[chuckles]

If you wouldn't mind.

Well, if you’re keen.

Come this way.

Charlie, this gentleman wants to see the two reserve coaches.

Couldn’t come back in a couple of months, could he?

Always joking. Oh, there they are.

[dramatic music playing]

Of course, we'd put the wheels on for you.

I’m afraid Charlie’s rather neglected them a bit.

Charlie, you’d better give them a rub over with a damp cloth.

Ah, yes, well, it gets a bit muggy in Rome this time of the year, doesn't it?

[chuckles]

[pig grunting]

That's Cecilia. She’s farrowing in a couple of weeks' time.

I'll have to find another place for her.

Of course, she could go on the tour,

but she'd probably object to the company she'd have to keep.

[laughing]

May I ask you the name of the school you want me to cart around?

No. Don't tell me.

What have I done?

The ministry is prepared to make it very much worth your while,

Captain Ricketts.

Well, you've certainly come to the right firm, sir.

Dreadnought by name and dreadnought by nature. [scoffs]

[knock on door]

Come in!

Ruby!

Oh, you recognized me.

What on earth are you doing in that getup?

This isn't a walking tour, you know.

Well, Grannie liked it.

It isn't a question of whether Grannie likes it. It just isn't suitable.

You're not Ruby Gates anymore, you know. You're Ursula Blewitt,

interpreter.

Sammy, you're not going to make me go and change?

Yes, my dear.

I feel like chucking the whole thing. I'm absolutely fed up.

[metal clanging]

Ruby. Darling. I'm trying to help you.

Don't you realize this is your big opportunity?

Have you seen this morning's paper? Ten thousand pounds.

If we got that, it wouldn't be the Isle of Wight.

It would be the isle of Capri, and you could wear those all the time.

Oh, loverbird, you do make me feel so responsible.

But I'm worried about leaving you.

You must try and bear that with fortitude, my dear.

I shall. And the moment you get the slightest clue,

wire me immediately.

You won’t forget me, will you, Sammy?

How could I?

-Goodbye, my dear. -[in Spanish] Goodbye, my dear.

[pans clanging]

[pans clanging]

[car horn beeping]

[bus backfires]

Leave your case in the hall, Dad.

-Cool! You look just like me Auntie Kate. -I’ll have none of your cheek.

-Are we taking all this with us? -You bet we are.

Oh.

Well, I sort of wondered, Your Highness,

if I could meet you privately.

When the other girls aren’t around, I mean.

Oh, thank you. So I’ll call you directly we reach Rome.

Yes and I look forward to it too, Your Highness. Ever so!

Goodbye.

What are you doing in here, may I ask?

May I ask? May I ask?

I was phoning. Any objections, Maudie?

None of your cheek neither.

[key clicks in lock]

[dramatic music playing]

Hurry up, Cynthia. Get your things. We're leaving in ten minutes.

[car horn beeping]

If, um, if anything should happen to me,

and you get away, let the wife know for me, will you?

Here, do you think we're gonna get to Rome in these?

Well, we've come all the way from Wantage.

Only small hand luggage in the coaches, please.

-Are you traveling with this party, sir? -Who are you?

-I'm from the Ministry of Education, sir. -Liftman?

Yeah, I'm the liftman at the ministry. I'm in charge of this party, sir.

Why pick on you?

Well, nobody else would take it, sir. Mr. Bassett,

he said my pension was in jeopardy, sir, if I didn't 'go.

-Flaming bureautocracy. -Yes. Ah, well.

Who are you, old man?

I'm from the Ministry of Education, sir. I'm in charge of the party.

-Fair enough. -Are you in charge here?

I'm Ursula Blewitt, interpreter.

How do you do? No, no. He's in charge.

Or so he says. And I wouldn't put it past him.

Where would you like me to sit?

Oh. Perhaps you’d better sit next to me and work the windscreen wiper.

[chuckles]

She thinks I'm joking.

-Are you ready? -Yeah.

Look, keep those photograph­ers off me, will you?

Yeah, you’re right there. We don't want them looking up the back numbers

of the police gazette. Here. Stuff this over your mug

-until you get in the chair. -Right.

-And watch your carriage. -Watch my what?

-Watch how you walk. -Right.

[playful music playing]

So far so good.

[dramatic music playing]

Wait!

[girls screaming]

Here, d'you know who that inter­preter is? She's a copper.

-You're joking? -No. Straight up.

Sergeant Gates is her name.

She's been knocking around with the head copper

from Barset for donkey's years.

-Well, what's she doing here? -Search me.

Gosh. We'd better ditch her.

Here, don't you dare. Don't you harm a hair of her head.

She's going to come in nice and handy.

[ship's horn blaring]

Do you go abroad much, Miss Blewitt?

No, not really. Only soon, if I'm lucky, I hope to go to the isle of Capri.

Capri? Have you any romantic reasons for choosing Capri?

No. No, no, it's just that

when I get my little nest egg, I've prom­ised myself I'll travel.

You have expectations, Miss Blewitt?

Honestly, I’d rather not speak about it.

We're ships that pass in the night.

Any signals we care to exchange will be borne away on the wind.

I shouldn't say so, but Grannie has said, in so many words,

that when she passes over, she won’t forget me.

But naturally, I hope nothing happens to her.

Oh, naturally. Naturally.

We're having a jolly nice crossing, Miss Blewitt, aren't we?

How old is she?

-Eighty-seven. -Ticker all right?

Oh, she's wonderful for her age.

Jolly good. Well looked after, I trust?

Mrs. Briggs, the housekeeper, she's awfully good to her.

-And of course, there's Mimi and Fifi. -The maids?

No. Kitty cats!

Cats.

She's not interested in animal welfare

or cat’s hospitals or any­thing like that, is she?

[Ruby] No, I don’t think so.

Very good. Then there's only Mrs. Briggs to worry about.

I mean, to worry about your grannie.

Um, Miss Blewitt, we're going to see a lot of each other on this tour.

May I call you Ursula?

Why? Oh. Um, yes, do.

My close friends know me as Romney. Would you care to join that happy band?

Thank you.

[ship's horn blaring]

Mavis, I noticed that you're not the same as the other girls.

I saw that in a flash.

As a matter of fact, I'd rather trust you than my own daughter.

Myrna's got a nasty streak, she has. Nasty.

It's on her mother's side, it is.

Now, I've got a feeling that you'd never really let me down.

What do you want me to do, Mr. Mangan?

Well, I'll tell you.

I'm gonna ditch this lot the moment we reach Calais and beat it.

-Now, what I-- -I don't think that's wise, Mr. Mangan.

-Wise? Why not? -Well, you see that woman along there?

-[Joe] Yes. -[Mavis] Do you know who she is?

Yes, the interpreter.

She’s police Sergeant Gates of the Barset police.

-What's she doing here? -We don't know.

Ah. Thank you very much for the warning, Mavis.

Thank you. But I'll be leaving her behind at Calais too. Now, listen--

I don't think you will, Mr. Mangan, because we must get to Rome.

No, dear, I keep telling you I’m not going to Rome.

Oh, but you are, Mr. Mangan.

No, my dear, sweet, pretty little friend, that’s where you misunderstand me.

No, Mr. Mangan, that's where you misunderstand us.

You see, we have to have a headmistress, and you're the only one we've got.

That's right. You're stuck with it, see?

You shouldn't have come visiting your daughter in the first place.

It wasn't half-term or nothing.

[exhales nervously]

You're evil, you are. Really evil!

[lively music playing]

Of course, I do a lot of philosophizing in my lift.

I say to meself, "Always be nice to people on the way up.

You might have to bring them down again."

[bells ringing]

[royal trumpets playing]

[lively music playing]

[cheering]

[dramatic music playing]

[crowd booing]

[cheering]

[happy dance music playing]

-Life’s so full of rhythm, isn’t it? -Jolly good band.

There’s something so different about the French. They’re so romantic.

Yes, but are they sincere?

Oh, no, Romney, no. I mustn’t.

What on earth did you do that for?

I've got something to tell you, Romney. I’m engaged to be married.

Well, I’m blowed! Why didn't you tell me before?

You’re not even wearing a ring.

-I took it off before we came away. -Why?

Well, because I… I can’t tell you, Romney.

You don’t love him.

Yes, I do. I've been engaged for years.

How many years?

Fourteen.

Fourteen! Well, that’s not decent.

Yes, it is. Terribly decent.

It's not love.

It's lasting love.

Everlasting.

[bottle cork pops]

[crying] Oh, Romney.

Oh, Ursula, don't cry, my dear. Now look,

just drink up your café au lait, and we'll take a quiet stroll down the Champs

and chew the whole thing over, eh?

[sniffs]

Thank you.

[bells ringing]

[lively music playing]

[music ends]

[classical music playing]

[swing music playing]

[man sings opera]

[romantic violin music playing]

-Lovely. -[applause]

Oh, it's so heavenly here. I don't know whether it's the music

or the atmosphere or what, but…

I feel so utterly defenseless.

Good show.

[scoffs]

What did he mean?

Oh. It’s just an old Italian custom, my dear.

Everything they do here is… I don't know.

Romantic?

-Oh, Romney. -[romantic music playing]

Yes, my angel?

I don't know how to tell you this and I know I shouldn't.

Oh, but you must! Have courage, my dear.

I've got a terrible confession to make.

Oh, not another one?

You see, I'm not Ursula Blewitt, I'm Ruby Gates.

I don’t get you, old girl.

I’ve been lying to you, Romney.

Not about Grannie?

Oh, no, that part's true.

Oh, well, what part isn't?

I'm not a proper interpreter. I'm in the police force.

[unsettling music playing]

Look. You must listen to me. What­ever they've told you isn't true.

You see, I got this cheque from a man in a pub in Maidenhead.

Complete stranger to me.

Besides, I made a point of disclosing the fact I was an undischarged bankrupt.

-I don't know what you are talking about. -Oh? Don't you?

You see, I'm here on a special case.

-What sort of a case? -Oh, must I tell you?

I should jolly well think you should.

Giving me all that gaff about being an interpreter.

Lead me up the garden path.

Please, don't talk to me like that, Romney.

I'm such a crazy mixed-up policewoman.

Well, how do you think I feel?

One second we're swapping sweet nothings to a Neapolitan love song,

the next moment we're up to our nostrils in Agatha Christie.

A chap doesn't know where he stands.

Well, I'll try and explain. You see, it's simply that…

It can’t be. I must be going mad.

What are you gibbering about?

Do you see that man over there in the dark glasses?

-Uh-huh. -Does he remind you of anyone?

He seems familiar. Who is it?

Well, I think it's Dame Maud, but it can’t be, can it?

Dame Maud? Are you off your rocker?

[Ruby] I must have a closer look to be sure.

I'll explain to you later, but you know, it would make sense.

That's more than it does to me.

Don’t worry. He won't see me. I'm trained for this sort of work.

[indistinct chattering]

[in Italian] Good morning, dear.

[in French] Thank you so much.

O sole mio. Que sera. [clears throat]

Sera.

-[in French] Thanks a lot. -[in German] Good-bye.

[in English] What kind of language is that?

-Italian. -Italian. [scoffs]

Who the dame?

I'll take that silly smile off your face.

An English policewoman.

Don't look now, but he spoke to me in Italian.

I’m absolutely certain he's her.

Darling, I’ll explain to you while I'm here.

Look, about two weeks ago in Hatton Garden,

there was the most enormous diamond robbery.

We don't know what the diamonds are worth,

but we know that the under­writers are offering a reward of 10,000 pounds.

Ten-- Ten thou?

Yes.

Listen, Ursula, Ruby, whatever your name is,

we've got to keep tags on this fellow with all that lollie about.

This is the chance of a lifetime!

-Botheration! -What's up now?

-He's gone. -Waiter. Garçon.

There are more important things than the reward, darling.

I must telegraph Sammy. It's my duty.

Duty? What are you talking about?

"Sammy, dear. Have proof Joe Mangan has disguised himself

as Dame Maud. Arrive…"

Get me the chief constable right away.

[knock on door]

Come in.

There's a Dame Maud Hackshaw to see you, sir.

Who?

Says she's headmistress of St. Trinian's.

Oh, she does, does she?

This is a stroke of luck. Show her in.

This way, madam.

[Maud] No! [screams]

And so, Mr. Culpepper Brown, I am resigning forthwith.

-Forthwith? -And what is more,

I am returning to Australia by the first boat.

Steerage, if necessary.

Oh, my dear Dame Maud, I-I just can't apologize enough.

-Can I have the sugar, mate? -Well, of course. Oh. [clears throat]

I don’t think ever in my whole experience have I ever had to listen before to so,

so grisly a tale.

It'll now be your unhappy task, Bassett,

to bring back to England this little brood of vestal handmaidens.

Bassett, you will take the first plane to Rome.

[lively music playing]

The trouble is, as a policewoman, I may not be able to claim the reward.

Don't worry, we'll claim it in my name, then split 50-50.

-Or thereabouts. -Oh, no. You must have half.

[bus backfires]

What we've got to do is to get at this chap's bags

before he gets rid of the stuff.

[lively music playing]

[sighs]

[man, in Italian] …in unison…

[in Italian] They are responsible at UNESCO.

They've been here two minutes and look at this pigsty!

[in English] If it gets any hotter, I shall have to take me pullover off.

["Wedding March" playing]

-I say, flowers! -Flowers!

-[Jane] Who from? -[Marjorie] From UNESCO, maybe.

-That's likely. -From Miss Fritton. Wishing us good luck.

Don't be silly. You can’t send flowers from Holloway.

-They’re from prince Bruno. -For all of us. Gosh.

Cynthia, here’s yours.

What does yours say?

"To charming Marjorie, I look forward with unbounded pleasure

-to meeting you at the water polo--" -It's the same.

They’re all the same.

He's making sure we all start from scratch.

I hope you've got the right pass-key.

It'd better be or I’ll make it hot for that porter.

I don't lash lira around for nothing.

[tense music playing]

You watch the door.

[indistinct talking]

Cavey, she’s coming.

[tense music playing]

[music ends]

There’s no ball here.

Joe’s got it.

We must keep the gear together. Fetch it, someone. Go on, Daphne.

Hello? Who’s there?

I said, who’s there?

Hiya, Blewitt. Wotcha, Captain Rickett.

Miss Blewitt, Captain Rickett, what are you doing in my room?

And who else is there?

It’s me, ma'am. Eric.

I’m sorry to bother you, ma'am.

I've just brought your tickets for the water polo match, ma'am.

I’m here too, Dame Maud, Daphne. I’ve come to get the water polo ball.

Well, get out of my room, all of you!

It’s all right, Dame Maud. I've got the ball.

See you at the swimming pool. Ta-ta!

Daphne. Bring that ball back!

[screaming]

-[prince] Pronto. -Oh.

Oh, yes. This is Cynthia Meadows, Your Highness.

I've fixed it with his highness. Did you get the flowers?

We did, but did he have to come to the water polo?

Couldn't hold him back. And mind girls, no rough stuff.

Don't worry, Harry, we'll handle him.

You bet your life, we will.

Yeah, well, see it's with kid gloves. He wants a princess, not a chucker-out.

Leave it to us.

We didn't come all this way for nothing.

I miss the old lift, you know. Life seems flat without it.

Harry, can I have a word with you?

-What about? -Oh. Somewhere quiet.

Here, you ain’t gone and fell for some penniless drip, have you?

Oh, no, it's nothing like that.

But now the prince is practically in the bag,

I don’t suppose it’s any­thing at all really, but…

-you know when we left home? -Yeah?

Well, I was phoning in the headmistress's study

when Mr. Mangan came in with the water polo ball.

You dumb cluck! Why didn't you tell me about this before now?

They're probably the sparklers there's a 10,000 reward for.

What 10,000 reward? Nobody told me.

Nobody told you.

Listen. A few days after the Hatton Garden job,

Joe Mangan tries to hide in the school. It all ties up.

Water polo ball was it?

Harry, where‘re you going?

[in Italian] Second… Ready…

[orchestral music playing]

[cheering]

[Joe] Bridget.

I think it would be a nice gesture if we allow them to use their ball.

Okay.

[whistle blows]

[excited shouting]

[whistle blows]

Would you kindly stop this game at once, please?

You try.

[in Italian] There is an English gentleman who want to meet you.

I don't understand what he says.

[in Italian] All right, I'll see him.

[in Italian] All right.

Eh? Oh, ta.

[in Italian] Good evening, sir.

[in English] Don't worry, I've come prepared.

Now. Here we are, at the dentist.

[speaking Italian with bad accent]

[in English] Can I have this out with you?

Yeah, yeah. Now.

Banking.

[speaking Italian with bad accent]

-[in English] I have some valuables. Yes? -Yeah, yeah. Now.

[speaking Italian with bad accent]

[in English] I should like a piece of bread and butter?

Bread and butter? No, I've got the wrong one.

-Here, you speak English? -Fluently.

Oh, why didn't you say so? Here, look.

There's a parcel of stolen sparklers in this ball.

With a reward of 10,000 quid on them.

I don't know what that is in liras, but in Britain, it's real mazuma.

And I want you to funnel me your safe. Put my name on it.

I've been had.

I've been sold a pup!

-[whistle blowing] -[shouting]

International goodwill, they said it was.

[gasps]

[sputters] Just like Southend, isn’t it?

[whistle blowing]

Come here. Gather round. Come on.

Look, I tell you, it's packed with diamonds.

[whistle blowing]

[lively action music playing]

What are we waiting for? After him, kids!

[shouting]

There he is. Come on, girls.

[lively action music playing]

[whistle blows weakly]

[somber music playing]

["Wedding March" playing]

[lively action music playing]

[music slows down]

[panting]

[breathing deeply]

[dramatic orchestral music playing]

I'll lay three-to-one. I'll lay 20-to-one Just in time for the big event.

[menacing music playing]

[shouting]

[lions growl]

[shouting ends]

[girls shouting]

No. I've got Jane lined up for a gentleman from Pakistan.

He’s talking to his uncle about it at the moment,

but if he don't make up his mind by Thursday week,

then we have to make other arrangements.

Can you make a short statement to the British press, Your Highness?

Certainly. You can say that I do not care

how many years her father has been in prison

or how many more years he is likely to stay there,

nothing can mar the course of our love.

[gasps]

[woman] Oh, good shot, Cynthia!

[lively music playing]

Welcome home, girls.

Welcome to you, Miss Fritton.

Thank you, girls. Now, girls, this is my new teaching staff.

I’ve recruited them from the resort where I’ve been spending my vacation.

And this here is Mr. Moreshead from the insurance company.

He has just given me this cheque. This cheque, for your reward.

[cheering]

Part of it will go to paying your back school fees,

but the rest you can be sure will be devoted

to a really deserving cause.

[booing]

Harry!

Yeah. What about my 10%?

Five.

-Seven and a half. -Done.

See you later, educator.

[chuckles]

[loud music playing]

Strewth, you've changed a bit, haven't you?

Oh, do shut up. Sammy's not there.

The desk sergeant says he's in Hill Crest Road.

I must get this thing straightened out.

He won't turn nasty or anything, will he?

We'll have to risk that.

Yeah.

[trumpets playing]

There he is.

Sammy. Back on the beat.

He's reduced to the ranks.

Aren't your fault, goldie.

It is. You don't know.

Romney, I can't. I can't leave him alone in the street on the beat.

Why not?

Because I must stand by him in his hour of trial.

It's the only decent thing to do.

Well, I'm blowed!

But I'll always remember you, Romney.

I want you to know that. I'll never forget that night in Florence.

I should jolly well think not!

Don't make it more difficult for me. Please, please forgive me.

[sighs]

I feel so rotten.

I feel an absolute charlie!

Sammy!

[contemplative music playing]