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♪ Hey, mister, can you point me to the Source ♪

♪ I've been wandering for weeks ♪

♪ I'm so tired and I'm hoarse ♪

♪ And I lost my way ♪

♪ Somewhere along this fabled course ♪

♪ Called the winding road ♪

♪ I've been questioning the answers I once knew ♪

♪ Trading in my confidence ♪

♪ For something closer to the truth ♪

♪ I'm worn from the ride ♪

♪ But I swear upon my pride ♪

♪ I've nothing left to lose ♪

♪ I have sown ♪

♪ And I have reaped the whirlwind ♪

♪ I have run and now I'm crawling back again ♪

♪ Let it all go down in flames ♪

♪ I know all that will remain ♪

♪ Is the ♪ ♪ Love ♪

♪ Is the ♪ ♪ Love ♪

♪ Is the ♪ ♪ Love ♪

♪ Is the ♪ ♪ Love ♪

Got any good live music around here?

Nope, because I don't pay well.

So why do folks keep showing up?

Buddy, for the booze.

Ricky.

Dude, it's good to see ya!

Yeah. Yeah, you look good.

You're still a liar.

So, what are we drinking?

Soda water.

Soda water? Really?

All right. Soda water it is.

You know, uh, you're in the wrong place.

Story of my life.

Hey, um, what you say I squeeze in a set here tonight?

Tonight? Here?

Yeah.

You know, uh, it's Tuesday. It's trivia night.

Yeah, yeah. You too, huh?

Hell of a lot cheaper than a band.

And people actually show up.

What do you think?

You know what? Screw trivia night.

We'll make some room for the Hellcat.

You know I don't pay well though.

This one's on me.

Tell you what.

Don't tell anybody I'm here.

I'm trying to keep it low key.

All right.

I guess you didn't get the memo,

but uh, you're not exactly Anderson's favorite son anymore.

In fact, probably more people would pay

to not see you play than to play.

Well, fortunately, they'll think it's trivia night.

Welcome to Collective Roots. How can I?

Ricky? Suz?

What? What, what, what are you doing here?

I work here. What's your excuse?

What? Are you a barista?

Instead of just sitting around waiting

for something to happen, I bought this place.

One of my girls quit this morning,

so this is what the owner does.

Know what you want?

I really just came in for a drink.

Well, we don't serve those kind of drinks here.

Yeah.

You want a coffee?

I assume you still like it black.

Why are you here, Ricky?

Really just came in for the coffee.

Well, then I guess you got what you wanted, like always.

It's on the house.

Let me know if you want anything else.

That's why I'm here.

Ready? One, two, three!

Here we go. Look at that!

Choo-choo! Whoo-whoo!

Choo-choo!

See you in three years.

Hey, you gonna be around town?

Who was that?

A ghost.

You sort of look like you've just seen one.

You all right?

No, but I'm not sure that's anything new.

You need anything? Yeah.

There we go. That's got it.

Son.

I guess you know Conrad.

What's up, Conman? How are you?

Still doing the church work?

Yeah, man.

Come on. Come sit.

So how you been, Hellcat?

Never could shake that name.

Yeah, I shoulda got royalties.

I'm pretty sure you did.

Man, that was a long time ago.

Let's have some lemonade and sit a spell.

Conrad's been helping with the horses.

Sneak in a little ride.

Hey, man, so where you been all this time?

It doesn't matter. You're home now.

Look, I'm glad you're home too.

But where have you been?

All over.

Doing? Conman,

I've only ever been good at two things.

Yeah, and the music is questionable.

Remember how to start a fire, Ricky?

Yeah, I reckon that gasoline

is still not your approved method.

All it takes is a spark.

Show him how it's done, Conrad.

Now all you gotta do is feed the flame.

It's just that easy.

Just a spark.

Brother, he had to be twice your size.

It's the fight in the dog.

Well, I gotta run.

Son, you just got here. Can you stop by tomorrow?

I don't know, Pop.

I've missed seeing you, Son.

I was hoping we'd go fishing.

Yeah well, we'll see.

Hey, why don't you do a favor for an old friend?

What's that?

I run this rehab program down at the church.

Guys just got out of prison.

Maybe you can come by tomorrow?

I don't know, Conman.

You just got back in town, your calendar's full already?

Five o'clock. Church basement.

Maybe.

Son? I truly am glad you're home.

Folks! Folks, can I have your attention?

Hello. Welcome to the Usual Suspects.

There's been a rumor that a hometown hero

has come back to town.

Gonna play a little bit for you.

So, no trivia tonight.

Please welcome, Hellcat!

♪ Go ahead and lean ♪

♪ Into the void that is unseen ♪

♪ Lie back into the mystery ♪

♪ Take your treasure chest of grief ♪

♪ Everything you once believed ♪

♪ Let it sink into your history ♪

♪ Take your time to think ♪

♪ How you must lose control ♪

♪ Meet me at the medicine wheel ♪

♪ Where we'll reveal what's too real to feel ♪

♪ Shed our skin to the four strong winds ♪

♪ And learn to dance once more ♪

♪ We'll whirl and twirl in a sacred spin ♪

♪ Until the jangles confess all our sins ♪

♪ From the East to the West and back again ♪

♪ Until we sweep them from the floor ♪

♪ But we don't need salvation ♪

♪ We need recreation ♪

♪ Meet me at the altered state of mind ♪

♪ Where we are young and green and ever shining ♪

♪ Brighter than a starlit sky ♪

♪ Even lighter than the moon ♪

♪ We'll glide among these blessed fields ♪

♪ And harvest what the spirit yields ♪

♪ Food to nourish and balms to heal ♪

♪ At the medicine wheel ♪

♪ At the medicine wheel ♪

♪ Baby, put your red dress on ♪

♪ There's a dragon rising at the break of dawn ♪

♪ Breathing fire like an ancient song ♪

Should I expect you to start being one of my regulars?

Does that come with any specials?

Not for you.

You're up early.

I never used to see you before noon.

I haven't been to bed yet.

Don't you have a place to stay?

I do.

It'll take a few minutes to get the coffee going.

I got time.

I see you still have your lighter.

Yeah. I quit smoking though.

That's good.

It keeps my hands busy.

I, uh, got rid of everything else.

Except the guitar.

Yeah. And Old Blue.

I figured you'd sell the guitar

before you sold that car.

Mm-hmm.

Now what?

I don't know, I guess I just

got to the point I had no where else to go.

Well, I guess even long-distance runners

come to a finish line.

Maybe that's where I am, Suz.

And you thought coming here would solve what?

You seen your dad?

Yeah.

I try and go by at least once a week.

Well, he always did like you best.

Maybe that's 'cause I cared about him.

He's getting old.

We all are.

You know, you may have only been gone for three years,

but it feels a lot longer.

The studio.

What about it?

It's where I'm staying.

No one's been there since you left.

Are you sleeping on the couch?

What's sleep?

I'm sure your dad has a place for you.

You know they closed Perfect Burger?

Really?

Man, I loved that place.

Every Friday night after the game.

Hm!

That was our first kiss.

You said you had something to show me.

I wasn't very smooth. Didn't matter.

You played guitar and had those damn eyes.

I had no chance.

I was so- I would've come.

What?

If you had just asked me, I would've come.

Instead you left.

You left me here to see the death every day.

I failed. I failed you Suz.

I failed Jameson. I, I, I.

It is still all about you.

All you have ever thought about is yourself.

I didn't know what to do.

You weren't even at his funeral.

I couldn't. And I could?

You were always the strong one.

Morning. I'll be right with you.

I am not strong.

I just had nowhere else to go.

How do I forgive that?

Ricky? Ricky, is that you?

Um. Hi.

You don't remember me, do you?

I, I, I'm sorry. I, I don't.

Carol Simmons. I mean Carol McGee.

That was my maiden name, but now it's Simmons.

Oh yeah. Hey, hey, Carol.

We went to school together.

Um, I apologize. I, I, I've been away for a while.

Well, there ain't a soul in town who doesn't know that.

Carol! What? It's true.

I'm surprised you'd show your face back here.

Carol, please. I'm Simon.

Hey. My husband.

I'm a big fan, man.

At least somebody here is.

I saw you play The Vogue in '93, I think.

Yeah, between the two of us,

I think you're the only one who remembers that night.

Does Susanna even know you're back?

'Cause if she did, she'd probably shot you by now.

Yeah, she knows.

I guess it's good to see you then.

Yeah, right.

Nice to finally meet you, Rick.

You too.

That's it, let's slow done.

This is starting to become a habit

that Conrad and I do not really like to see,

but if you could just do your best to try to...

Excuse me for just one moment.

Excuse me, sir? Excuse me, sir?

Yeah? Sir?

Yeah.

You can't smoke here.

Oh no. That's a nervous habit.

I don't smoke.

It's okay if you do.

We're not here to judge you.

Just, um, smoke outside, please.

Okay. You made it?

Yeah.

How's it going?

I see you met Danny.

Uh, yeah, hey.

Ricky. Ricky Heller.

Nice to meet you, Ricky.

I hope you find what you need,

and if you need anything, let me know.

I'm not really here to.

I'll go check the door. Okay.

Don't mind Danny.

Whatever you say.

Hey, man, want a cup of coffee?

Yeah. Sounds great.

Now, it's not good coffee,

but usually, you know, they keep it lukewarm.

You really know how to sell it.

So why am I here, Conman?

Assume it's not for the coffee.

You sure you don't want cream and sugar?

Ah, no. Black is fine.

I guarantee it's not.

Hmm.

Stay here. I'm gonna get this kicked off.

Are you sure you don't wanna join us in the circle?

No, no. Uh, Conman, uh, Conrad, he, uh, he invited me.

Oh yes, uh, Conrad invites lots of men to the group.

There's a deep need for support.

Join us if you want.

Cheers.

Guys, you get what you put in.

It's all yours, Danny.

So why am I here?

Assume it's not to torture me with old Danny boy there.

I'm sure I owe you for something.

Hey, do you remember, uh, Tyler Summers?

I, I don't think so. Should I?

Well, that's him right over there.

Does he look familiar?

Ricky, you remember?

Hmm? What, what?

He was Jameson's friend.

Yeah?

Well, man, he's been through hell since Jameson passed.

I thought maybe you'd talk to him.

No, I can't.

No, I can't talk to him.

No, no. That's- Come on, man.

I think it'd be good for him and you.

No, listen, that's just gonna dig up old wounds.

Nah, I gotta go.

I, uh, saw you in the church.

Listen, I don't have anything for you, kid.

I don't have anything for you either, old man.

No. What I'm, what I'm saying is I can't help you.

Do I look like I need your help?

You look like you need somebody's help.

Hmm. It's all good.

I just wanna say I was sorry about Jameson.

I never got to say it to you when he died and all.

Didn't, huh?

Nah. Nah, 'cause you chicken shit ran away.

Like you're doing right now. Running away.

Bye, chicken shit!

You know Ricky,

I'm gonna have to cut you off at some point.

Probably when I have to take a piss.

Okay, let me know when that is,

I'll point you in the right direction.

We, uh, mark your territory.

It's marked a long time ago.

What the hell is wrong with me, Ace?

Mm. This is the only therapy I offer.

And you ain't taking it.

♪ But she's my kinda wrong ♪

♪ She ain't right, but she's my kinda wrong ♪

You got a kid named Tyler here?

When's your break?

Now you wanna talk to me?

That's why I'm here.

Maybe I don't wanna talk to you.

It's up to you.

I'm free in 15.

So how long were you there?

Hmm, about six months.

Then a halfway house which was worse than juvie.

Where are you now?

I got a cot at Dave's.

Wait, Dave's? You're staying at Dave's auto shop?

Yeah. It's not too bad.

I've stayed worse places.

It's free so I can save some money

and rent a place before it gets too cold out.

What do you remember about Jameson?

What do you remember?

Everything.

Everything?

Sometimes I remember stuff

that I'm not so sure if it even happened.

I, I can't, I can't shut it off.

Well, memories suck.

Memories suck.

His hair.

His hair?

Yeah. It was always a mess.

It was always perfect. It was a perfect mess of hair.

Well, I remember all the girls.

They all loved him.

Hm! I don't doubt that.

So what do you want with me?

I don't, I don't know Tyler.

I guess I just wasn't, um.

Around?

Yeah, he thought you was a piece of shit.

I guess that's what dads are.

Mine sure as hell was.

If he hadn't died on his own,

I'd probably killed him myself.

Piece of shit.

Piece of shit.

You hanging with rock stars now?

Nah, dude's weird.

All he wanted to do is talk about his dead son.

You knew his son?

Yeah.

I'm glad you're home.

I'm not really home, Pop.

Yeah, it's close enough.

You know your mom planted that tree over there.

Yeah, I know.

You tell me that every time we come down here.

I guess I do.

I don't mind.

I've planted a tree every year for your mother down here.

They're scattered all along the crick.

It's a lot of trees.

Have you seen Susanna?

Why?

Should I?

She is your wife.

Pretty sure she hates me.

No. She hates what you did.

That too.

You know, your mom would come down here and-

Roll up her pant legs and wade into the creek.

It's not fair for a boy to lose his mom.

Or a husband to lose his wife.

Or a wife to lose her husband.

I wasn't a good daddy, Ricky.

You did the best you could, Pop.

No, I was proud of you.

Dad! But I was more proud

of what I'd created.

I pushed you and I pushed you,

and I pushed you away.

Well, I gotta get going.

Well, can't you stay for dinner?

Can you make it up to the house okay?

Where are you staying?

I, I can make a room for you here.

I'm good, Dad. I'm good.

Maybe go to church with me?

That's a definite rain check.

Hey! Okay.

I'll see you soon.

All right, well, as you know,

this time is for you.

If you really wanna see change, you gotta do the work.

Coming here regularly,

that's a step in the right direction.

Yeah well, some of us have no choice.

Now, everybody in the group is obligated to speak,

but you'll only get two minutes.

Make sure you introduce yourself

in case we have anybody who's new in the circle.

Who'd like to go first?

Uh, I will.

I'm Tyler.

If anyone, uh, gives a shit.

Tyler, we wanna work on our language here.

Uh, yeah. Sorry, my bad.

Um. I don't really know what to say.

Um, I don't really remember much,

'cause I think my life went wrong

from the moment I was born.

See, my, uh, my dad beat my mom and me

from before I can remember.

There wasn't really a time

when my parents weren't smoking and drinking.

And I think my old man was always drunk and probably high.

Something good, I could tell you that.

And I used to, I used to take sips of his whiskey

when I was probably six or seven.

Since I was incarcerated, I ain't smoked or drank,

but a day don't go by I ain't wishing for it.

And I'm just like my dad most days, you know.

He'd used to say to me,

he'd say, "Tyler, you ain't worth shit."

Tyler, language.

That's what he said, I ain't worth shit.

Tyler! That's enough.

And he, uh, when he was, uh, good and wasted,

he would, uh, go out driving and that's what killed him.

He was, uh, speeding about 80 miles an hour

when he, uh, crashed his car into a tree.

Smashed right though the windshield

and, uh, he landed on one of them branches.

And they had to call the fire department

and the ladder truck guy, he came over,

and he climbed up.

Yeah, he saw a nest of squirrels

and they was all jumping around the corpse.

They were like, "What the hell?"

And uh, and so my mom, she died a year later,

when I was, uh,

I would've been about 10 at that point.

So I, uh, I bounced around some foster homes,

but I was hell on my foster parents.

They just took me in for the money, so.

Anyway, I started getting my act together.

I stopped drinking, stopped smoking pot.

Um.

My, uh, best friend died.

And I'm, uh, pretty sure I'm cursed

'cause everybody around me dies.

Well, Tyler, death is a fact of life.

And I doubt any of those you mentioned were your fault.

Are you all right?

Is that true, what he said in there?

Is that true?

Probably. Most of it.

I mean, not everybody dies around him.

And I'm not so sure about the squirrels, but.

Dude, you saw the way he looked at me.

Yeah, I would say that your presence

brings up a lot of pain that he's been suppressing.

Is all the more reason I shouldn't be here.

That's why.

Man, look, that's why I think you should be here.

I'm just causing more pain.

The only way he heals

is to work his way through the pain.

Burying it doesn't work. Nothing stays buried.

What did you say?

Nothing stays buried.

Sorry, I didn't know you were coming by.

I'da cleaned up.

Yeah.

Remember when we got this place, Suz?

We'd sit out here for hours

just watching whatever passed us by.

That's what we did.

Do you want something, Ricky?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

How about a lemonade or an iced tea?

Water?

Do you like it?

I do. It's amazing.

That's my hand. I know.

I love it.

Mommy helped me.

She's the best mom.

I'd forgotten

I didn't.

Suz.

What do you want, Ricky?

Why are you here?

I don't know.

Like hell you don't.

♪ Gonna jump in Willy's Chevrolet ♪

♪ Where the road don't go ♪

♪ Gonna make my own way ♪

♪ Cousin Willy's '68 Chevy ♪

♪ Cruisin' that country mile ♪

♪ Top's pulled down ♪

♪ My foot's a bit heavy ♪

♪ Driving like it's outta style ♪

♪ When I wanna chase away my blues ♪

♪ Ain't no better way than in a car that moves ♪

♪ Bein' silly, me and Willy ♪

♪ Whoa oh oh ♪

That was awesome.

This is the coolest moment of my life.

Ah, it's a pretty good one for me too.

Huh? Yeah, seriously.

It's music. It heals.

Yeah, it really does.

It takes all the broken things

and puts it back together again.

At least it used to.

You mind if I snag a selfie?

Not at all.

Yeah.

What's your name? I'm Zeke.

Zeke Michaels. Zeke Michaels.

I like what you did with the song.

Yeah. Hope you don't mind them changes I made.

No, no, no. It was really cool.

I didn't mean no disrespect by it.

No, no, dude. I'm honored.

I'm honored. You write your own?

Yeah. Yeah, but no one wants to hear that.

No, I don't think that's true at all.

Excuse me? No, serious.

Yeah, you just say that 'cause, you know, you're afraid.

You're afraid that people are not gonna like it,

or they gonna make fun of you.

I don't know. You need to do your own thing.

Hey, Zeke Michaels.

Thanks, Hellcat. Take care.

Carol said she saw you at the bridge.

Oh! Yeah.

She said you didn't recognize her.

Should I have?

She was one of my best friends in high school.

We went on double dates together.

She looked familiar.

Well, she had some work done. Fixed her teeth.

Horse teeth?

Oh, now you remember.

Now I feel horrible. For not remembering?

No, for the things I used to say about her.

She wasn't too happy to see me.

Hmm, that is a common sentiment among many around here.

You don't own a gun, do you?

You'd have already found out by now if I did.

Yeah.

What?

Nothing.

It can't be nothing, Suz.

There, there are too many somethings between us.

Well, I knew what I was getting into with you.

At least that is what I tell myself now.

You ever, have you ever hated someone so much

that you only wanted bad things to happen to them?

Like, like they don't deserve anything good.

Hey!

No!

So.

I guess that explains this.

Is this why you came home?

Is it, Ricky?

Just to kill yourself?

Opening up old wounds, giving your father hope

of a rekindled relationship when in reality

you were just gonna abandon everyone again?

I, I didn't think. No, you didn't.

Because you only think about yourself.

Maybe someday you will finally think about the ones

that you say you love.

You know, maybe you don't hate yourself.

Maybe you are the only one that you really love.

Let's go fishing.

I have a job.

Shop closes in five.

Really?

Well hell, let's go fishing.

I guess it's good that I'm not watching the clock.

Yeah, what do you mean?

Just always doing something

where I'm wishing the time away.

When I work on cars,

just lose all track of time.

Kinda like music.

Huh?

I mean, when I'm out playing,

you know, I just lose myself in the music,

man, it's cars.

Your music.

Yeah, I guess so.

This would be better if we were on my boat.

You got a boat? Yeah.

Well, where is it?

You gotta be kidding me.

You sank it?

From what I remember, yes, I did.

What I do remember is I was out fishing one night

and I crawled in like a wet dog.

Who taught you to fish, Tyler?

Nobody.

I mean, my dad would bring me sometimes,

but that was just an excuse for him to drink a little more.

My momma, she called him a drunk with a fishing problem.

Yeah, I get that.

Your daddy bring you fishing?

Nah.

Well, who taught you how to fish?

Conrad, I guess.

Pastor C?

Yeah, well,

he wasn't exactly a pastor back then.

What's up with you?

Pastor C, I just always, you know,

thought he was a pastor.

I thought he appeared on Earth and poof, he's a pastor.

Yeah.

Uh, he and I have been buddies since high school.

We raised a lot of hell back then.

Pastor C raising hell?

Well, he was the one who gave me my illustrious nickname.

No shit? That's right.

Ol' Hellcat and Conman. We were quite the team.

Oh yeah.

Gotta kiss the fish for good luck.

I have never heard that one before.

I made it up.

Some of these fish kiss better than the girls I've dated.

You are messed up.

I know. That's why I gotta go to the meetings.

Conman, huh?

Hm, yeah, well I'd have never pictured him

becoming a preacher, but he sure was a handful.

You know what, he's always been

a really good friend to me.

Especially when I needed one.

He's a really good man.

I guess so.

I don't really trust church people.

Oh, get your rod tip up.

I know what I'm doing.

Ah...

Look at that guy.

Now you gotta kiss it for good luck.

I can not believe you made me do that.

I didn't make you do that.

No. No, I guess you didn't.

That's what Pastor C says.

I do things 'cause I choose to.

Huh? Yeah.

♪ I was 12 years old when my old man died ♪

I baptize you in the name of the Father,

the Son, and the Holy Spirit. ♪ He was drowned in ♪

♪ The Auglaize riverside ♪

♪ I met my death ♪ You hungry?

♪ In a robe of white ♪

♪ While a choir sang, "I Saw the Light" ♪

Welcome. What can I?

Hey, Tyler, how are ya?

Hey, Missy. Uh, good, I'm good.

What have you been up to lately?

I haven't seen you in a while.

Uh, I've been away, but I'm working at Dave's now.

Oh, who's Dave?

Uh, it's a auto shop.

You work on cars? That's cool.

Yeah. Yeah, I like cars.

Is this your dad?

Oh no. Hey, um, I'm just a friend.

I'm Ricky.

Yeah, Ricky and me been hanging out.

My dad's dead.

Oh, I'm. I, I, I didn't know.

It's okay. He had it coming.

Well, um, what can I get you?

Just a black coffee for me.

A Coke.

Okay, I just started brewing another pot,

so if you guys wanna go grab your seats,

I'll bring your drinks out to you.

Hey! Missy? Yes.

Susanna around?

No, sir. She's gone for the day.

Are you a friend?

I don't know.

I'll get your drinks.

Is, uh, Susanna Jameson's mom?

My wife.

You know her, right?

Yeah, but I just knew her as Mrs. Heller.

You guys still married?

It's complicated.

Does she work here?

She owns the place.

So that would make you the co-owner.

Mm, yeah.

Girl behind the bar?

Uh, it's complicated.

I doubt it.

It looks pretty straightforward to me.

Here you go.

Thank you.

And I just figured out who you are.

Mm! You did, huh? Yes, sir.

But um, I'm not sure I'm supposed to be nice to you.

Hm, well, if you choose to be nice to me,

we'll keep it our little secret.

Okay. Can I get you guys anything else?

Maybe a muffin?

Tyler?

Um, you got chocolate chip?

Of course.

The, uh, chocolate, is that Suzanna's recipe?

Yeah. She bakes them all herself.

Definitely having one of those.

Tyler, you are in for a treat.

Susanna is the best baker.

All right, I'll go get those for ya.

What do you think Jameson's doing right now?

What do you mean?

Pastor C says he's in heaven.

He does, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, but what does that mean?

Like, what do you do in heaven?

You're asking the wrong guy.

You ain't got no thoughts?

Ooh, I got plenty of thoughts.

Well, let's hear 'em.

Nah.

Well, I think he's in a rock band.

Shredding and smashing guitars.

That's heaven?

That's just what he's doing.

You believe in heaven?

Missy? Sir?

Do you believe in heaven?

Yes, sir.

Do you think, uh, they're up there

smashing and shredding guitars?

Um, I guess so. Um sure.

Sounds better than sitting on clouds playing harps.

Yeah.

It's better than shredding on harps.

Let me know if you need anything.

Yeah.

What?

What the hell?

You know what.

I'm not gonna ask her out.

Why not?

Because.

Because why?

Because I can't.

If you say you can't, it means you have to.

Who made up that stupid rule?

Yeah, it's kind of like the, uh, kissing-the-fish rule.

No, it's not.

Yeah. You should get her number.

I can't do that.

Why not? You mean,

it wouldn't bother you?

No. Why?

You wouldn't be bothered by me asking out

Jameson's last girlfriend?

What?

No, Jameson's girlfriend was Melissa.

Um. What's her last name?

Alberts. Missy Alberts.

Yeah, Melissa, uh, Missy. Melissa.

What's the matter?

Um, sorry, Tyler. I, I can't.

I, I can't. I gotta go.

Hey! What about your muffin?

You know, John Dillinger

would never rob a bank in this town.

He said the train schedules were too unpredictable.

He was afraid they would mess up his getaway.

He called it getting trained in Anderson.

Yes, I've heard that one.

It's one of your father's favorites.

So you've heard it a hundred times.

Maybe more.

How'd you find me, Suz?

You're predictable, Ricky.

What is it about the trains?

They're beautiful. They're ugly.

They're always giving and taking.

Dependable. They're melodic.

Missy called.

She said you were at the cafe.

I guess you left Tyler stranded without a ride.

You wanna talk about it?

It was hard for me to see Missy after Jameson died.

But then I realized that she was hurting too.

That hole, that Jameson left. We have that in common.

Hey! Listen.

You could always find the music in everything.

I mean, I can hear the music,

but I can't find the song.

Where'd you get that fork?

I guess it's yours.

Tyler make it back okay?

Yeah, Missy gave him a ride.

You've been hanging out with Tyler?

Conman seems to think it'd be good for him.

Conrad said that?

You know, I go to your dad's every Sunday.

When the cafe's closed, I take him dinner.

You and Tyler should come.

I don't think so.

You're supposed to say yes.

It's just that- Your dad's

gonna build one of his fires.

You know how he loves his fires.

And besides, Conrad said it would be good for you.

Get some sleep, Ricky.

Ah, Ricky, cool, I thought you'd still be asleep.

I need your help.

Hey, I thought I might be interrupting you.

You ain't got a lady friend here or something, do you?

What do you want, Tyler?

Uh, I need your help.

How'd you get here?

I, uh, borrowed a bike.

Borrowed a bike? Whose bike?

Uh, I don't know, but I'm gonna take it back

so it's not stealing.

Did I wake you up? You look like shit.

Good, that means I'm improving.

All right, you said you needed my help?

Yeah, I, uh, I need you to come with me.

Where? I need to go over there.

Where's there? Uh, church?

No. No.

Please?

No, Tyler.

Besides, you go to church all the time.

Yeah, but not on Sunday. No!

My PO said that if I don't start going,

I have to go back to the halfway house.

Who, who made up that rule?

I don't know. It's in the agreement.

They said if I keep going to the meetings

and I go to church.

Yeah, and stay clean.

Yeah, yeah, then I don't have to go back

to the halfway house.

What's wrong with you? Nothing. Nothing.

Are you clean?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm clean.

It's just, uh, church people make me nervous.

Yeah, I get that.

Fine.

Fine, you'll go?

I said fine.

Nah, I can't make you do that.

You said you ain't going- Tyler!

It's okay. No, no, no.

It's what friends do.

Listen, give me five minutes.

I'll go get cleaned up.

We'll take bike back and go to church.

Please stand for the reading of scripture.

James 5 reads, "Is anyone among you in trouble?

Let them pray.

And the prayer offered in faith

will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up.

If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.

Therefore confess your sins to each other

and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

This is the word of the Lord.

Uh, you may be seated.

God produces, um, miracles,

miracles of, of healing every day.

Are you willing to believe?

Let's pray.

Lord God, um,

thank you for your miracles.

In Jesus' name. Amen.

Everyone, please turn to hymn 639.

Please stand as we sing.

♪ Whether I live or die ♪

Beautiful sermon. Thank you.

♪ Whether I wake or sleep ♪

What are you, guarding the door?

Do my eyes deceive me?

Far be it from me to ever let you know

you're being deceived.

Ah, you know you're supposed to be here

at the beginning of service.

Well, Tyler said he is required to be here.

He did not specify when.

So Tyler, this is your handiwork?

Am I in trouble?

No, I've been trying to get this guy

to a church service for 30 years now.

Yeah, you must have the, uh, magic touch.

Susanna, are you witness of the same, uh, miracle that I am?

Tyler, you've grown a lot since I saw you last.

Yes, ma'am.

Excuse me.

You doing all right?

Yeah, I'm doing okay.

Well, you look very nice. Oh, thank you.

It's the closest thing I got to Sunday clothes.

It's perfect.

Um, I saw that Missy was over there.

Maybe you wanna go say hi?

Uh, yeah, yes, ma'am.

Wasn't expecting to see you until this evening.

This was not on my agenda.

No, I can't imagine that it was.

You know, you're gonna get your dad's hopes up

showing up here like this.

Yeah, I'm never gonna hear the end of it either.

Guess I'm kinda surprised to see you here too.

Well, some run from, others run to.

Hey, you two. Hey!

Ricky, you remember Carol?

Uh, yeah, I do now.

Ricky?

I never thought I'd see the two of you together again,

just like old times.

Okay, don't get started, please.

Sweetie, I can't promise you that,

but I can promise you I'll see you later this week.

I gotta run. Simon's pulling the car around.

Okay. Bye.

I'll tell you what, whoever did her work.

Mm-mm, be nice.

She was the shoulder I needed for the last three years.

Uh, I want you to know that Missy is coming tonight, so.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm over that.

All right, I'll see you this evening?

Okay. Okay.

You're early.

Yeah, I wanna stop somewhere on the way.

What the hell are we doing here?

Good question.

I'm not going in there.

I just thought maybe we could do this together.

No, I'm not going in there.

What are you afraid of?

What are you afraid of?

You don't need me going in there with you.

Guess I was just thinking maybe.

Well, you thought wrong.

I'm not going in there.

I'm glad you came, Son.

Glad to be here, Pop.

Hey, you know Tyler?

Yeah, I've met him before.

Yes, sir.

Hey, there's some sodas in the fridge. Help yourself.

Hey, you okay?

How can I not be okay?

I saw my son at church today.

Thought I snuck past you.

Well, I'm, uh, I'm getting a little hard of hearing,

but I'm not blind, not, not yet.

Yeah, well, don't get used to it.

I was just helping out Tyler.

Or maybe he was helping you out?

Don't even start.

Hey, you gonna come join the party?

Or you gonna keep this choirboy all to yourself?

Let's go.

So, do you have a favorite car?

Hmm, maybe Corvette. Okay, those are nice.

Yeah. Hey, Mr. Heller.

It's good to see you again.

Yeah, hey, uh, Missy, um, sorry

about running out last night.

Oh, it's all good.

I didn't mind giving Tyler a ride.

Yeah, you were right about the chocolate chip muffins.

I see you brought some tonight.

Yes, I did.

I get a second chance.

I just don't know how you do it, Suz.

Do what? I mean.

You took the worst moment and made something good out of it.

You know, you always wanted a corner cafe

and look what you did.

What else was I supposed to do?

I took the worst moment and I made it worse.

It's not over yet.

Isn't it?

Open your eyes, Ricky.

Okay, who's hungry?

Yeah. Looks great.

Thanks.

Will you play?

I'm just here to relax, Pop.

You won't play for your old man?

All right.

No, no. I shouldn't, no, I, I shouldn't push you.

It's okay. We got a fire.

It's what we do.

Will you play your momma's favorite?

♪ Whether I live or die ♪

♪ Whether I wake or sleep ♪

♪ Whether upon the land ♪

♪ Or on the stormy deep ♪

♪ When 'tis serene and calm ♪

♪ Or should the wild wind blow ♪

♪ I will not be afraid ♪

♪ 'Cause I am the Lord's, I know ♪

♪ And nothing shall separate ♪

♪ From this unbounded love ♪

♪ Neither in depths below ♪

♪ Nor in the heights above ♪

♪ And in the years to come ♪

♪ God will abide with me ♪

♪ 'Cause I am the Lord's, I know ♪

♪ And for eternity ♪

That's enough of this.

Do you want? You want some of that?

You want some of that?

I was out planting a tree for your mom,

and I thought I'd hit a rock or a root,

but it was different.

Imagine how surprised I was to find a book.

I, I just thought.

I just thought if I could bury it, it would all go away.

Nothing stays buried.

"A train has a poor memory.

It soon leaves everything behind it.

It forgets the cornfields of Indiana,

the rivers of our childhood,

the bridges, the lakes,

the valleys, the cottages,

our hurts and our joys.

It spreads them out behind

and they soon fall back of a horizon."

Did you write that?

I sure wish I was that train.

Ricky, listen to me.

It wasn't your fault.

That train, that train remembers nothing about that day.

I remember everything.

I see it when I'm awake.

I dream about it when I'm asleep.

And God, God, it seems

that God took Jameson to punish me.

No. Yes.

Why else would all of this be happening?

It's my fault that Everett died that day.

And this, this is my consequence.

I lied, I just let everyone believe

that Everett was out there at the tracks all by himself.

I could have saved him.

And you could have been killed too.

It wasn't your fault.

And it wasn't your fault that Jameson died.

You don't know that.

You were a foolish boy,

just like I was a foolish boy.

And you've been a foolish man,

just like I was a foolish man.

Ain't nothing we can do to stop the bad things

that happen to us in life.

There's not a day that goes by

that I don't blame myself for what happened to your mom,

and for letting you down when you needed me the most.

I can't change that.

All I can do is ask for your forgiveness

and for God's.

I can't make things any more right than I have.

But God can.

And I really am happy that works for you, Pop.

Ricky?

Okay, come in. Come in.

Can I get you a water?

I'm really not sure why I'm here.

You wanna see his room?

Yeah.

Dad? Hey, buddy.

I'm thirsty. Oh!

Here.

Thanks for being here with me.

Where else would I be?

Listen, soon as you get better, we're gonna take that trip.

That'd be cool. Yeah.

White-water rafting.

Rock climbing. Rock climbing.

You bet.

Jamie! Jamie!

Uh, Jamie!

Okay, Jamie. It's okay.

It's okay. Sit up.

Up! Okay, you're okay.

You're okay. It's gonna be all right.

Okay, Jamie, it's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. You're okay.

You're okay. You're okay.

His clothes are folded perfectly in the drawers.

I saved his pictures from preschool.

They're, they're still under the bed.

Why did he have to go?

Why did you?

I lost Jameson and you.

He's not coming back.

What about you?

I'm here.

Are you?

I see you, but everything tells me

that you are someplace else.

You are just one tragedy away from leaving.

And why should I care?

I stopped waiting for you a really long time ago.

I'm not running anymore.

Am I supposed to believe that?

Do you think there's a chance?

For what?

For us.

♪ Go ahead and lean ♪

♪ Into the void that is unseen ♪

♪ Lie back into the mystery ♪

♪ Take your treasure chest of grief ♪

♪ Everything you once believed ♪

♪ Let it sink into your history ♪

♪ Take the time to think ♪

♪ How you must lose control ♪

Hey, have you seen Tyler?

No, I haven't seen him for a few days.

Isn't he working for you?

Was. Came in Monday and all this stuff was gone.

Some of mine too.

Okay.

Hey, if you see the kid,

tell him I'd like my tools back.

♪ Go ahead and lean ♪

♪ Into the void that is unseen ♪

♪ Lie back into the mystery ♪

Hey, man, have you seen Tyler?

No, last I talked to him he said he'd be here.

Not like him to be late.

Yeah. He'll, he'll be here.

And has he been acting, uh, different with you lately?

He did make me go to church with him last week.

Other than that?

I'll go outside, see if I can find him.

All right.

Oh, there you are.

Where have you been?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Tyler.

Tyler, what are you on?

You cannot go in there like this.

They will send you back to the home.

Come with me.

And what are you two doing?

He's in no shape to go to his meeting.

I, I didn't know where to take him.

Take him to your studio.

I can't take care of him.

And I can?

You always know what to do.

Fine. Take him upstairs.

And now what?

What? What are you gonna

do with him?

I don't know.

I couldn't let him go to the meeting like that.

They would've sent him back to the halfway house.

Well, maybe that's what he needs.

All he's ever known is abandonment and failure.

The system is not gonna help him.

And you are? Yeah.

Well, you are an expert at abandonment.

Sorry. No, that's, that's fair.

I, I deserved that.

I just mean, I don't understand

how all of a sudden you think you're the answer.

You wanna be there for him,

but you were never there for Jameson.

And when I needed you most, you-

I can help him.

He is not your son!

You trying to fix me?

I'm trying to fix me.

That's good.

You sure as hell need a lot of fixing.

How is he?

He's fine.

Listen, uh, I have to go to the cafe,

but I think you need to reach out to Conrad.

I can't. He'll have to report this.

He is already reporting something.

Tyler didn't show up for the meeting.

That can't be as bad as showing up all strung out.

Can't it?

Oh! Let me know what you decide.

Not sure how we're gonna get out of this one.

What does it matter?

I'm better locked up anyway.

That's not true. This is just a setback.

Kinda where they set you back in jail.

What happened at Dave's?

I needed the money.

I thought you said you were saving up for rent.

Some things are more important

to an addict.

Listen, can I tell you something?

I know what it's like to feel trapped.

Ever since Jameson died,

I've blamed myself.

Like it was some sort of punishment.

For what?

For all the things

that I've done wrong in my life.

Do you know the story of the kid

that was killed out on the railroad tracks

years ago in Grover's Hollow?

Everyone knows that story.

His name was Everett.

He was my best friend.

I was there with him that night he was killed.

You're making that part up.

I never heard that part of the story.

It's because I never told anyone.

I ran. I ran away.

I just left him there.

And I kept it a secret.

And there hasn't been a day that goes by

that I don't think that I should have been

the one on those tracks.

So I came back here,

I came back here because I was done.

I was done with life.

And I thought those tracks were my only answer.

I'd kill myself before I go back to jail.

Listen, what I'm saying is there's a better way.

I'll talk to Conrad. Maybe we can figure something out.

I can go to Dave. We can get his tools back.

Those tools are long gone.

Don't lose hope.

Get some rest.

Hey, Conman.

Got a call from Susanna.

Damn it.

About what?

Man, let's not play this game.

You know what about.

Now where is he? Is he inside?

He's just a kid. No, he's a man.

Now he needs a structured system.

Now I thought him seeing you would help him

to get passed it, but he's been living in the garage,

there's plain too much temptation.

Just gimme a chance.

You know the system won't.

Man, it's not up to me.

And he's probably going back to the halfway house.

But that might be the best possible scenario.

It's not gonna help sending him back to the home,

where he's gonna be in the middle of all this shit

he's trying to get away from in the first place.

Man, I don't control the law.

But if you keep covering up what he's doing,

he's never gonna heal.

Let me talk to him?

Of course. Uh, Ricky.

You know, I'll do whatever I can to help Tyler.

I want the best for him too.

I know. I'll be right back.

He's gone. He must have heard us talking.

Ah, so where do think he'd go? Dave's?

Nah, he wouldn't have gone to the auto shop.

His phone's going straight to voicemail.

All right, well, let's just fan out.

He can't be far.

Yeah. I'll give Susanna a call.

Hey, Suz, it's me. Yeah, Tyler split.

Well, Conrad showed up and it must have spooked him.

No, no, it's not, it's not your fault.

You did the right thing.

Listen, I think I know where he is going,

but if he shows up at the cafe,

you just let me know.

All right. Hey, I love you.

Um, I, I mean, um.

No, that's, uh, that's exactly what I mean. Bye.

Tyler!

Tyler!

What are you doing here, Tyler?

I figured it out. My daddy was right.

I ain't worth a shit.

It's not true.

I ain't no better than he was.

Tyler, there's a lot of people that disagree with that.

I'm one of them.

I ain't going back to the house.

And I sure as hell ain't going back to jail.

Just come down here. We can talk this through.

No, I'm done.

Tyler, maybe I can, maybe I can talk to Conrad.

He can. What? Huh?

What? What can you do, huh?

From everything I've seen, all you do is run away.

Yeah, but I'm not running anymore.

I wanna face this with you.

I can help you.

Tyler!

We did it.

We did? Did what?

You're getting your second chance.

I am? With a contingency.

What?

You need to find a permanent housing situation.

But I can't afford a place right now.

I know.

I don't think Dave's gonna let me come back.

Tyler, I want you to live with me.

What?

Would you be willing to give that a chance?

I ain't got no rent money.

You can work for me at the cafe.

You gonna be there too, Ricky?

No. I'm gonna move in with Pop for a while.

So what do you think?

I won't let you down.

Hey, we're gonna do this together.

I set up this room for you.

I can't take Jameson's room.

It's not his room anymore. It's yours.

♪ When it all goes wrong ♪

♪ I'm going to be all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I got my song ♪

♪ And I'll be flying high ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ All I got is my song ♪

♪ All I got, all I got, all I got ♪

♪ All I got, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ All I got is my song ♪

♪ All I got, all I got, all I got, all I got ♪

Whoo! Ricky!

Thank you all. That was a brand new song.

It's so, so good to be home.

I love you, Ricky! Love you too, man.

I want you guys to welcome to the stage

somebody that you're gonna be hearing

a whole lot from in the very near future.

Mr. Zeke Michaels.

Whoo!

I need you to come with me.

♪ I know all that will remain ♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ Love ♪

You picked a good spot, Suz.

I thought he'd like the trains.

♪ Love ♪

♪ Without ♪ ♪ Love ♪

♪ Without ♪ ♪ Love ♪

♪ Without ♪ ♪ Love ♪

♪ Without ♪ ♪ Love ♪

♪ Without ♪ ♪ Love ♪

♪ Without ♪ ♪ Love ♪

♪ Without ♪ ♪ Love ♪

♪ I was 12 years old when my old man died ♪

♪ He was drowned in the Auglaize riverside ♪

♪ I met my death in a robe of white ♪

♪ While a choir sang, "I Saw the Light" ♪

♪ Well, the preacher said, Son, do you believe ♪

♪ That the ways of God are a mystery ♪

♪ Do you confess your sins and the devil deny ♪

♪ Then come up cleansed to eternal life ♪

♪ Oh, they put me in the water ♪

♪ Where the stream runs deep ♪

♪ Where the crickets chirp ♪