Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group ♪

♪ Must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

I won it! I won it!

What happened?

What is all the excitement?

GREG: What's going on here? We were playing bas...

Look what I won, Mommy!

Look at that! Oh!

Hey! That's some trophy! Look at that. Look, Daddy!

How did you win it?

For being the best jack player at the playground.

( all clamoring encouragement )

Congratulations! That's very good.

That's great!

Oh, it's so pretty.

Nice going, Cindy.

Yeah. It's really neat.

PETER: Wow.

MIKE: Looks like we're going to have to build

a trophy case for all the Brady trophies, right?

PETER: Hey, Bobby, where are you going?

Now everybody's got a trophy... except me.

I'll never win at anything.

Hi.

CAROL ( chuckles ): Hi.

What are you doing in there?

Thinking.

You want to do some talking?

Okay.

You want to come out, or should we come in?

I don't think there's anything you can do.

Well, you never can tell.

Why don't you try us, honey?

Well... well, it's...

it's nothing.

Oh, listen, if it takes that long

to say it's nothing, it's something.

Bobby, if you don't tell us, we can't help you.

Everybody's won a trophy except me.

Even the girls.

But, Bobby, they're older than you.

Well, Cindy isn't.

And boy, if she can win one and I can't, I'm nothing.

Well, son, you know, you haven't entered that many contests.

Sure, I have.

The last one was the swimming race at the Y.

I came in fourth.

Well, I think that's pretty good.

There was only four guys in the race.

Look, how are you going to win at anything

if you don't keep trying?

Your father's right, you know.

You really think so?

I'm positive.

Just pick something you're good at--

just one thing-- and stick with it.

And then I'll bet you'll win.

One thing, huh?

( laughing )

Triple jump!

You can't win now.

You want to play another game?

No. Dumb game!

( giggling )

Okay, come on.

You got it!

I can't believe it!

That's a cinch.

Anybody can do it from there.

If it's so easy, let's see you do it.

Yeah.

Hurry up.

You can have all of them.

Okay.

That was a good try, Bobby.

Do it again.

hey, where ya goin'?

I thought we were gonna shoot some hoops?

I thought so too

But Bobby doesn't think so and its his ball

so what?

so, I beat him at free throws and

now he won't let us use it

Dad, Mom, can we see you for a minute?

what's up?

we all talked it over

well, everyone except Bobby

and we think you should know

well, Bobby's been a real stinker

Greg, you know I don't like that word.

it's the only word that really fits

what's the problem?

everything

no matter what we're doing. He's just a stinker

Marscha! I don't want to hear that word.

I'm sorry, mom, but that's what he's being.

He blows his cork everytime he doesn't win

well, that's it

Bobby's still upset

what's he upset about?

you all have trophies for one thing or another

he's the only one who hasn't, and its got him down

gee, i never thought about that

me either

its really got him bugged, huh?

well, sure

that the reason he is being such a...

[All] stinker

I hope he wins at something soon

its the only thing he seems to have on his mind

ANNOUNCER: It's the last game of the World Series,

and it's up to Bobby Brady-- two out in the ninth.

The series is all tied up.

Can he do it? Can he pull it out

of the bag for the Dodgers?

( fans cheering and applauding )

Bobby Brady did it!

He hit his fifth home run

of the game-- a World Series record!

The Dodgers win!

Bobby Brady, we present you

with this trophy

for the greatest performance

on the baseball field

in the history of the game.

That was nothing.

Wait till next season.

ANNOUNCER: Can Bobby Brady do it?

Can he come from last place with a hole in his boat,

not enough gas and only a hundred yards left?

Bobby Brady is making his move.

He did it! It's fantastic!

Believe it or not, Bobby Brady won!

MAN: Bobby Brady, congratulations.

You're the world's greatest speedboat driver.

Sure looks that way.

( wind howling )

ANNOUNCER: The last jumper of the day is Bobby Brady.

Here he comes.

He takes off like a bird.

He's flying... flying... still flying...

He broke the world's record!

Bobby Brady wins!

MAN: Bobby Brady, we present you with this trophy

for being the greatest ski jumper who ever lived.

I just got to get a trophy.

I just got to get one.

All right, all you kiddies out there,

this is Kartoon King

reminding you to be sure and wash your ears good tonight

before you go to bed because in case you dream,

you can hear what you're dreaming about.

( laughing )

You get it?

You can hear what you're...

Oh, I made that up myself.

Oh, and I want to remind you

be sure and tune in tomorrow

to Kartoon King

because I've got a real wonderful announcement to make.

A big special surprise.

Well, so long, kids. ( doorbell ringing )

Bye-bye, now.

Bobby, can you catch that?

I can't leave the kitchen.

( show theme playing )

( turns off TV )

If you don't time noodles just right,

you've got a pot full of rubber bands.

( doorbell ringing )

Hi.

Hi.

Your mother home?

No.

Your father home?

No. What do you want?

I'm selling magazines.

Magazines? What kind?

All kinds.

You want to buy a subscription?

No.

Okay.

Boy!

You sure don't know how to sell anything.

I do, too.

Then how come you give up so easy?

Why waste my time on you?

I'm trying to win a contest.

Contest? What kind?

For selling the most subscriptions.

What's the prize?

First prize is a college education,

but I'd rather have the second prize: a minibike.

Then there's this trophy.

All you have to do to win is sell dumb old magazines?

Uh-huh. And I'm going to win.

Oh, yeah?

Bet I could sell more subscriptions than you.

Bet you couldn't.

I'll prove it.

How do I get in?

You got to send in an application.

Well, where do I get one?

Out of one of these magazines.

You want to have one?

Sure.

Thanks.

That'll be 35 cents.

Guess what I just bought.

Whatever it is, I would gladly exchange it

for a plaster screw.

I'm going to have to go down to the hardware store.

What's that?

A subscription to a magazine.

Another magazine? Carol, this place is beginning

to look like a dentist's office.

Well, I'm sorry.

I just couldn't resist the salesman.

Oh, really, Carol... hmm.

Yeah, he's, uh, got beautiful brown hair and big green eyes

and he's four feet three.

The only person I know who's four feet three is...

Bobby.

Bobby?

Yeah, he's in a magazine-selling contest.

We do know an awful lot of people.

You mean, between the two of us, we could...

That's exactly what I was thinking.

You, too?

I really enjoyed lunch, Kathy

listen, I'd love to ask ya a little favor

well, Bobby is selling subscriptions to a magazine

Yea next saturday sounds great see ya on the tee

oh, George? I may give you two strokes this time

by the way, George, my son Bobby is selling magazines

you too?

How many subscriptions did you take?

Just one.

For the sports magazine.

That's all I could afford.

I ordered three magazines.

Three? Where'd you get the money?

Dad raised my allowance.

Macia! will you loan me a dollar

loan me 75 cents

what for?

what else? To buy one of Bobby's magazines

I'm taking two subscriptions to the same magazine

why would you take two subscriptions to the same mag?

I guess Bobby's a good salesman

Alice!?

Yes, Mrs. Brady?

I'm very angry with you

you are? what did I do?

really Alice, 6 subscriptions for Bobby?

I'm sorry Mrs. Brady, its all I could afford

oh, Alice

Bobby?

Yeah?

Can I trade one of my comic magazines

for a beauty magazine?

Okay.

What are you doing?

Straightening out my orders.

Boy, am I a salesman.

Wait till I tell Mom and Dad

I sold magazines to a lot of their friends:

Mrs. Jackson and Mr. Morton...

They know that.

How?

Because they told all of them that...

Well, they just know.

They told all of them what?

Nothing.

I think I hear Marcia calling me.

They told all of them what?

Well, don't you look pretty?

Oh, thanks, Alice.

We should be home fairly early.

MIKE: Carol!

I'm coming, dear.

Now, listen, Alice, if you need us,

the Baxter's number is in the book, okay?

Okay. Good night, dear.

Good night. Have fun.

Honey, we're 15 minutes late.

Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

Mom, Dad, these subscriptions belong to you.

I don't understand.

You called up all your friends and told them

to buy subscriptions from me.

( sighs )

Well, I suppose that's true.

But you sold the magazines to them.

No, I didn't.

You did, 'cause you don't think I can win anything on my own.

Oh, Bobby, yes, we do.

I'll win something on my own,

or else I won't win at all!

( sighs )

( sighs )

You know, Mike, I... I think we made a mistake.

Well, honey, parents can be human, too.

KARTOON KING: Okay, all you kids out there in my Kartoon Kingdom,

who likes ice cream?

Now, if you do, shout, "me!"

Me!

What's your favorite flavor?

Strawberry.

Oh. Well, everybody who said "chocolate," raise your hand.

Chocolate?

( blows raspberry )

Oh, no matter.

Whether you like chocolate or what flavor,

you like ice cream,

and you are going to enter our contest of eating ice cream.

Now, that means that we're looking for the boy or the girl

who can eat ice cream faster than anybody else.

I can eat it fast.

( chuckling ): What fun!

And the winner will receive my Kartoon King golden scoop trophy

plus all the ice cream you can eat for a whole yummy year.

( laughing )

Wow. A whole year?

Now, the first six kids out there

who call me here at the station

are going to get picked for our great dee-licious lick-off.

Ha-ha! Here's the telephone number.

Are you ready, kids?

Yeah.

Listen.

555-6161.

Get on those phones and make 'em hum.

( hums goofy tune )

You like it, oh?

( theme music playing ) ( whispering ): ...six... one... six... one.

Five... five... five...

six... one... six... one.

Kartoon King Show?

My name is Bobby Brady, and can I eat ice cream fast.

Come on, Bobby, honey.

We're going to be late.

GREG: Come on! Hurry up, everybody!

Good luck, Bobby!

JAN: Yeah! Have a good time!

You'll win.

You can out-lick them, Bobby!

You'll do it, Bobby!

JAN: You sure can!

Don't worry. I'll win.

( all shouting encouragement )

Have a good time!

STAGE MANAGER: 30 seconds.

Don't worry.

My-my water.

Take-take my water.

Oh, my scepter.

Bring me my scepter.

Thanks, Lionel. Ten seconds.

Ten seconds? Whew!

Ew, yuck! Oh!

Oh, well, that's okay, honey.

Good luck, honey.

( trumpet fanfare plays )

Hi, there, boys and girls out in Kartoon Kingdom.

It's time for our ice-cream-eating contest.

You're going to have a lot of fun today, I know.

And the one who finishes his dish first is going to win

this great big Kartoon King golden scoop trophy.

What fun!

Ha-ha! How about that, kids, huh?

Well, now,

and for one whole y-u-u-u-mmy year,

all the ice cream the winner can eat.

Okay, kids, are we ready?

Are we ready?

All right, then.

On your mark.

Get ready, get set and...

Hold it just a minute.

Where'd you get those spoons?

No spoons allowed in this contest.

Ha-ha. No, sir.

Right, kids?

Ha-ha! Oh, yeah.

Well, no spoons allowed in this contest at all.

Why, it isn't any fun eating ice cream with a spoon.

How are we supposed to eat it?

Well, now, that's a good question...

and I've got a good answer:

With your mouth.

Ha-ha-ha! With your mouth.

Right, kids? Ha-ha!

All right, here we go, then.

Everybody ready?

Get on your mark.

Get ready.

Get set.

Get ready and...

Oh, hold it, hold it, hold it.

I forgot again.

And hands behind your backs, everybody.

That's it.

All the way

behind your backs. That's it.

Put your hands... that's good. All right.

I think we're ready now.

Shh. Shh. Shh.

Are you ready? Here we go.

On your mark. Get ready.

Hands behind your back.

Get set.

Hold it just a minute.

I really forgot something this time. Oh.

( chuckling )

Look at this. Oh.

Oh, and look at this.

Oh, look.

Isn't that beautiful?

What, oh.

That looks just good enough to eat, doesn't it?

Oh. Ah, yes.

Oh, isn't that great?

All right, then.

All right now, kids, are you all ready?

Are you ready?

All right, here we go, then.

On your marks.

Get ready.

All your hands behind your back?

Good. Get set.

Go!

( show theme playing )

Get in there now.

Let's go!

Yeah.

Hold it! Hold it!

We have a winner.

Wow, hey!

You are some eater, huh?

You're all mouth.

Right, kids?

( chortling )

I lost... again.

CAROL: Hey, that's strange.

Looks like everybody's out of the house.

BOBBY: They didn't want to stay home to see a loser.

MIKE: Now, that will do, Bob.

Anybody home?

Gee, I wonder where everybody went.

Alice?

Surprise! Surprise!

Surprise!

Surprise!

Surprise! Surprise!

ALL: Surprise! Surprise!

( all shouting )

JAN: Congratulations, Bobby!

GREG: Congratulations! Hey, Bobby, you looked great on the TV!

Yeah!

That was great!

Don't you know I lost?

Didn't you watch?

We know. We saw the show.

Then what are you congratulating me for?

Well, we've got this for you.

A trophy?

What for?

Read what's on it.

"To our brother Bobby

"for trying harder than anyone we know.

"We're proud of him.

Greg, Marcia, Peter, Jan and Cindy."

You really proud of me?

ALL: Yes!

Boy, this is the best trophy in the world.

Can we start the party now

before the ice cream melts?

Ice cream?

Yecch.

Well, we managed to survive another crisis.

That should take care of the trophies

around here for a while.

There's one more I'd like to contribute

to the household collection, Mr. Brady.

Hey, Alice, that's a beauty. Where'd you win that?

High school.

Hey, let me see.

"Westdale High School. 19..."

I can't make out the date.

I know.

It was easier before I used the steel wool on it.

Let's see.

"To Alice Nelson. First place."

School modern dance contest?

Hey, Alice, that's great.

Why didn't you tell us you were such a good dancer?

Well, actually, I didn't know it myself.

But you'd be surprised at the moves you make

when the elastic breaks in your gym bloomers.