Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group ♪

♪ Must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Hey, hi, you guys.

Hey, Greg, come here.

Tommy says you play a little guitar.

Yeah, I play a little.

Yeah, Johnny, Phil and I got a group together.

The Banana Convention.

Sure, I heard all about you guys.

Uh, we got a date to play this dance

over at Steven Decatur High School on Saturday night.

( imitating Ed Sullivan ): It's going to be

a really big show, really big.

Yeah, man, we need an extra guitar for the gig.

You available?

To play?

Oh, sure, I'm available.

Course, we'll have to get together

for a couple of sessions.

Great. Only my amplifier needs a little work.

Uh, Tommy...

Hey, man, they're just plain cigarettes.

Yeah, sure.

Think you can get your amp ready by Saturday night?

Oh, sure.

( coughing ) Gee, I hope so.

Then it's a deal, you guys.

You guys play hard rock, right?

Yeah, most of the time. Yeah.

But we mix it up with a few slow ballads, you know.

Ah.

( coughs )

She's always trying to make a joke out of it

when she goofs off.

You know?

( coughing )

Greg's smoking.

( coughing )

She's coming up the stairs!

Now, Cindy, let me tell her.

Hi.

Hi, Marcia.

Um, can we talk about something important?

Something real bad.

Cindy!

I didn't even mention Greg.

What about Greg?

He was smoking.

Cindy, that's the last time I'll ever trust you.

Are you sure about Greg?

Smoking?

Cindy and I saw him.

He was standing in the park with three other boys,

and he was smoking.

You're sure it didn't just look like he was smoking?

No.

He was smoking.

With a real cigarette.

What you're telling me is very serious.

Now tell me exactly what you saw.

Well, he was standing there

and he had a cigarette in his hand

and then he put it in his mouth.

And then?

And he coughed a lot.

Then he was smoking, all right.

Should we tell Mom and Dad?

Yeah, let's go.

Wait a minute.

Don't either of you tell anyone.

Don't say a thing until I figure out what we should do.

( guitar playing gentle melody )

♪ Clowns never laughed before ♪

♪ And beanstalks never grew ♪

♪ Ponies never ran before ♪

♪ Till I met you ♪

♪ Surf never broke before ♪

♪ And artists never drew ♪

♪ Snow never fell before ♪

♪ Till I met you ♪

♪ My dream came true ♪

♪ My dream came true ♪

♪ The world spins, my life begins ♪

♪ 'Cause I met you ♪

♪ Phones never rang before ♪

♪ Wise men never knew ♪

♪ No one ever loved before ♪

♪ Till I met you ♪

( distant ): ♪ Clowns never laughed before ♪

♪ And beanstalks never grew ♪

♪ Ponies never ran before ♪

♪ Till I met you ♪

♪ Surf never broke before ♪

Hi, honey.

Shh, shh.

♪ And artists never drew ♪ First a kiss and then a "shh."

♪ Snow never fell before ♪ Hey, he's got a pretty good voice.

♪ Till I met you... ♪ Yeah, just shows that talent is inherited.

Hmm, must have gotten it from my side of the family.

Oh!

I'm going to go up and change.

( cacophonous guitar )

Yup, that's your side of the family.

Sounds like he caught his fingers between the strings.

( discordant playing )

Hey, hey, what's going on in here?

He's been pestering me for an hour

so I let him try it...

And now I got my fingers caught

between the strings.

It sounds like it.

Wow, I may never play again.

Hey, Dad, can I speak to you for a minute?

Yeah, I guess so.

This is private, okay, guys?

Okay.

What do you mean, "private"?

I mean you get out.

Come on, Greg!

Just a little while longer?

Good-bye.

Sounds important.

Is it?

Yes, it is.

You ever heard of the Banana Convention?

Banana Convention?

Is that the famous meeting in Panama

in 18-whatever-it-was?

No, it's a rock group.

A rock group?

Yeah, some guys at school-- they're really heavy.

That doesn't mean that they're overweight, huh?

Right. They want me to play a gig

with them Saturday night. at Steven Decatur High.

Isn't that a gas?

Yeah, that's a gas.

Uh, listen, Greg, this gig--

is it for the real thing, for money?

For bread?

Well, we'll get paid something.

I'm not sure how much.

Okay. As far as I'm concerned, it's all right.

I'll have to check with your mother.

Great, Dad. Oh, by the way, can I have an advance

on my allowance?

I have to have a little work done on my amplifier.

Well, I guess I might extend you a loan

in view of your future earnings.

Fine.

Only.

Only what?

How much interest will I have to pay?

I am your father Greg, I won't charge you any interest.

I am Peter's brother and I charge him 25 percent.

25 percent? That's against the law.

Well you know and I know that...but till Peter finds out.

Well I think with us, it's going to be am interest free one.

Its a deal.

Dinner will be ready when the biscuits rise.

I don't think I'm very hungry.

Something on your mind?

Can I help? Just girl to girl?

Well its not exactly my problem...I mean, its sort of my friends problem.

Oh well those can be the toughest kind to solve.

This one's a real beauty.

Why don't you give me a hint, maybe I can help this friend of yours?

Well this friend...she has a brother and she's sort of close to him.

So far its not a problem.

Well, she has it from an absolutely reliable source that her brother did something wrong.

Now if she tells on him, is it snitching?

Well there's a simple way to solve that.

There is?

If she tells, is she helping him out of trouble or into trouble?

Out, definately out.

Then my advice is tell your friend it is not snitching.

On thanks Alice!

Honey, if its so important just say it.

Honest, Dad,

I want to tell you, only it's not that easy.

Well, is it something you did?

If it was that, I'd tell you in a second.

Well, then, is it something someone else did?

Yes.

Something that Greg did.

Oh, I get it.

You don't want to squeal on your brother, right?

Well, if I tell, will you promise not to punish him?

Now, Marcia, that wouldn't be fair

to Greg or to us.

I guess not.

Look, Marcia, we know you wouldn't be here

unless you thought he was making a very bad mistake

or he was hurting someone.

Himself-- that's who he was hurting.

Well, in that case, I definitely think you should tell us.

This afternoon after school, Greg was smoking a cigarette.

I knew I shouldn't have told you.

Honey, listen,

you did the right thing in telling us.

Well, if I'm so right... how come I feel so terrible?

Is it true, Greg?

Yeah, I guess it is.

But it was the first time I ever smoked.

I only took a few puffs.

I didn't even like it.

That doesn't make it any better.

I-I really didn't even want the cigarette.

I just wanted to go along--

be one of the guys.

Listen, you can't do something

that you know is wrong just to go along with the guys.

It's stupid.

Yeah, it's not a very good excuse.

I'm afraid it's no excuse.

Well, look-- we don't want you to smoke.

Eventually, you'll have to make your own decision.

I hope it's the right one. But for now...

I've blown the chance

to play at the dance and get that loan to fix my amp.

No, I gave you my word on that,

and I intend to keep it.

Well, I must have some punishment coming.

Look, Greg, if you know what you did wrong,

I mean, that's more important

than any punishment we could think up.

I do, Mom, I really do.

Well, after all,

when I was young, I smoked.

Yes, honey, but we didn't have

all the evidence that we do now.

You're right, Mom.

I promise.

No more smoking.

I didn't think about it.

I guess I really did a dumb thing.

Well, we all do dumb things.

I've done a lot of dumb things.

( chuckling ): I really have.

Well, you won't get an argument from me.

Well, the trouble is, Alice, until some things hit home,

you just never do anything about them.

Ain't it the truth?

Mrs. Johnson has been after me for a month

to join her anti-smoking committee.

So, I guess now is as good a time as any.

Hello? Mrs. Johnson?

This is Carol Brady.

Listen, could you still use some help on that committee?

We certainly can.

We still have a big smoking problem

in high school.

Well, you can count me in.

When are your meetings?

Friday afternoons.

Oh, but this Friday we had to cancel.

Oh?

It was going to be at Cynthia Heller's house,

but Cynthia came down with the flu.

Well, look, Mrs. Johnson,

if you need a place to meet, why not my house?

Oh, that would be wonderful. I'll...

( loud drumming )

Excuse me just a second.

Tommy, would you please wait until I'm off the phone?

I'm sorry, my son was practicing.

Oh, that's okay.

Greg told me he's joining Tommy's group.

He says they're far out and really heavy.

My son says they really know where their heads are at.

Well, right on, man.

I'll see you Friday.

Oh, maybe I should drop by and leave you some reading material

and some pamphlets.

Tomorrow afternoon okay?

Fine.

Bye, now.

Will tea and cakes be enough for your meeting?

Sure Alice, that will be fine.

Mrs. Brady...those women on the anti-smoking committee...tell them I'll be watching.

Watching?

If I find, one dirty ashtray.

GREG: ♪ Clowns never laughed before ♪

♪ And beanstalks never grew ♪

♪ Ponies never ran before ♪

Greg?

Oh, hi.

♪ Till I met you... ♪ Can we talk?

Sure.

Come on in.

Is, uh, something wrong?

I did a terrible thing.

Well, if you did it, it can't be all that bad.

You'll think it was just awful.

Well, no matter what I think, you can count on me to help.

That only makes me feel worse.

See, this terrible thing I did...

I did to you.

( laughs ): Well, then how come I don't know about it?

You know about it, all right.

I snitched to the folks about your smoking.

Thanks a lot, Marcia.

You'll probably never want to talk to me again.

Hey, hey, hold it.

Then you're not mad?

Well, sure I'm mad.

But not so much about the snitching.

Why didn't you come to me first?

Well, you would have just said to mind my own business.

Yep, that's what I'd have said, all right.

I only did it because

I thought it was for your own good.

I know.

Did the folks punish you bad?

No. No, they didn't punish me at all.

They didn't?

Well, don't sound so disappointed.

Boy, if I'd been in their place,

I would have given it to you good.

I guess it's lucky I was born when I was.

What do you mean?

Well, if I'd been born any later,

you could've been my mother instead of my sister.

Well, I'll certainly read

all these pamphlets, Mrs. Johnson.

And maybe you could help us

think up a new campaign angle.

Straight lectures really turn these kids off.

Oh, I'll bet.

Hi, Mom.

Oh, hi, Greg.

Hi, Mrs. Johnson.

Hello, Greg. Have you by any chance seen my son?

Yeah, I left Tommy about ten minutes ago.

He said he was on his way home.

Oh, good. I have to take him to the dentist.

Oh, dear.

( both chuckling )

Greg, the chair is to sit on.

And the jacket goes in the closet.

Right.

Greg.

Well, Greg?

Mom, they're not mine.

They fell out of your pocket, Greg.

Yes, ma'am.

Were you keeping them for someone else?

GREG: No.

Well, then how did they get there?

I don't know.

But they're not mine, honest, Mom.

All right, Greg.

If you say so.

Mrs. Brady, I can understand

your wanting to believe your own son...

Well, he said they weren't his.

If parents refuse to open their eyes,

you are doing exactly what our committee

is trying to prevent.

Mrs. Johnson, maybe...

maybe I'm the wrong person for your committee.

You know I want to work with you.

But if you cannot accept the fact that your own son...

Mrs. Johnson, I told you, they're not mine.

That's what he said.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Brady.

I really am.

Do you really believe me, Mom?

Yes.

Because I'm your son,

or you think I'm telling the truth?

Because I think you're telling the truth.

If I was in your place, I'm not sure I'd believe me.

Well, Greg, someday, when you're a parent,

maybe you'll see things differently.

I wonder if Dad will believe me.

Yes, I believe you.

Okay, Dad, thanks.

Greg, wait a minute.

Okay, what's bugging you?

How those cigarettes got there.

Yeah, well, that isn't all, is it?

Nope.

Well, we got a rule in this family:

BOTH: Lay it on the table.

That's right.

All right, look, I get caught

with something that looks pretty bad,

and neither you or Mom thinks I'm guilty.

( chuckles ): Well, so?

So how can you be so sure?

( sighs )

Greg, from time to time you've done things

that I haven't liked very much,

but so far, you haven't lied to me.

No, sir, I never have.

Well, I don't see any reason to think this is the first time.

I'll admit, I can't quite figure out

how that pack got in your pocket.

Neither can I.

I'm going to prove

you and Mom were right for trusting me.

I'm going to find out

how those cigarettes got there.

Greg? Wait a minute!

I think I got it all figured out...about the cigarettes.

Yeah?

Do you have any enemies?

I guess so...everyone's got enemies.

That's it! They trying to rub you out!

Rub me out? Oh come on that dumb.

I mean get you kicked off the basketball team.

I am not on the basketball team.

There's got to be an explanation.

I have been thinking about so hard my head is about to pop.

There's got to be an explanation how they got there.

Yeah, Cindy?

Maybe it was magic!

Magic.

I've got it! I've got it!

What?

The pack of cigarettes--

did you look inside?

No, why?

I bet it had a secret microfilm in it.

( groans )

They always have it in all the spy movies.

Sounded good to me, Pete.

I just don't get it.

I'll bet I was up half the night trying to figure out

how those cigarettes got in my pocket.

Well, if you ask me, you're going about this the wrong way.

I am?

Yup. What you got to do

is try to reconstruct the crime.

Yeah?

Yeah, it's the only way.

I watch a lot of television.

Okay, reconstruct the crime.

Okay, now, let's start with the first thing

you did that day.

I rode my bike to school.

Uh-huh. Put my jacket in my locker

and went to all my classes.

Did you loan your locker key to anybody?

No.

Does anybody else have a key to your locker?

The boys' vice principal has a master key.

Well, we'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

What'd you do after school?

Went to practice with the group for the dance.

Ah! Now we're getting someplace.

Alice, there was no one there but the guys in the group.

They wouldn't do that to me.

Okay, so after practice,

you stopped by the malt shop, right?

Right.

Okay, you hung up your jacket, you got yourself...

Oh, forget that.

Huh?

You never hang up anything.

It's no use, Alice.

All the evidence points to me.

Even if I'm not guilty.

Well, sometimes evidence just looks like real evidence

when it's really circumstantial.

Or partially circumstantial

and thereby being unsupported or hearsay.

What does that mean?

I don't know, but it saved some guy's life

last night on TV.

Thanks, anyway.

I guess I'll go to my room.

Hey, wait a minute.

Hang up your jacket.

On second thought, don't hang it up.

Why not?

It's not your jacket.

What do you mean?

You ripped the lining

on the handlebars last month.

I remember it. I sewed it up.

This one's never been mended.

So whoever's this jacket is, the cigarettes are his, too.

Alice, you're a genius!

Well, genius, no.

Chief of detectives, maybe.

( doorbell ringing )

Thanks, Alice. I'll get it.

Hi, Greg.

Oh, hi. Come on in.

Oh, there it is.

I got yours by mistake.

This one's yours?

Yeah, I found a test paper of yours

in the pocket here,

and so I knew it was yours.

Guess what I found in yours?

What's that?

A pack of cigarettes.

Oh, wow.

I'm sure glad my Mom didn't find out.

My Mom did.

Oh. Well, listen,

my mother's out in the car

waiting for me.

Uh, let me have my jacket now

and, hey, we'll straighten this out later.

No, we'll straighten it out now.

Mom, Dad!

Hey, look, all I want is my jacket.

Yeah, well, not until you tell my parents.

Tell them what?

The cigarettes are yours and not mine.

Oh, hi, Tommy.

Hello, Tommy, how are you?

Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Brady.

Well, tell them.

Tell us? Tell us what?

Uh, the cigarettes weren't Greg's.

They're mine.

Our jackets got mixed up.

Well, that explains a lot.

Mr. and Mrs. Brady,

do we have to tell my mother about this?

Well, Tommy, what do you think?

If you knew how mad she'd get,

you'd sure try to think of something else.

Well, do you think that's fair to Greg?

No, but my mom can't punish him.

I don't want to get Tommy into trouble.

Couldn't we just forget about it?

MIKE: Do you think we should forget about it?

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Brady. I just came in to see

what was keeping Tommy so long.

We've got to pick up Mr. Johnson at the airport.

Now, just a minute, Mom.

Listen, if your father has to wait,

he will be very upset.

I'm afraid he's going to be very upset anyway.

The cigarettes were mine.

Cigarettes? What cigarettes?

The ones you thought were Greg's.

See, we switched jackets by mistake.

Oh, I see.

I certainly owe Greg an apology.

I am really very sorry.

Yes maam.

Well if I was waiting at a crowded airport.

Mrs. Johnson, uh, how about next Friday?

Yes.

Next Friday.

Mom, can we talk about this

before we pick up Dad?

I expect we'll talk about it

before and after we pick up your father.

Now come along, Tommy.

GREG: Good luck, Tommy.

Yeah, I'm sure going to need it. See ya.

I'm sure glad that's over.

I'm going to go tell Marcia.

Not yet.

What's wrong?

Looks like you're back in trouble.

What did I do now?

Hang it up.

What's wrong?

Oh, nothing.

I just wanted to make sure it was mine.

( knocking at door )

Come in.

I'm home.

Hi, honey. How did your group do

at the dance tonight?

It was kind of a kicky blast.

The guys really got it together and wailed

and bent the gig out of shape.

Good night.

Good night.

( door closes )

"Got it all together and really wailed"?

How about that?

"Really bent the gig out of shape."

I wonder if that's good or bad.

Search me.

It's funny, kids have a language all their own.

Yeah.

So do we.

We do?

Mm-hmm. I'll show you.

( purring ): Ours.

Listen, I hear you talking,

and I dig what you're saying, man.