Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group ♪

♪ Must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

The ironing's all put away,

and I fixed the knees

on Greg's blue jeans.

Alice, your day off started hours ago.

Oh, I just put a patch on the patch.

You'll all have to struggle along

without me until tomorrow.

CAROL: Give our best to your aunt.

ALICE: I will.

Alice, what happened?

Oh, no. My new coat.

It's ruined!

MARCIA: It's ink.

( laughing )

Well, Jan, I don't think

this is anything to laugh about.

( continues laughing )

It's only a plastic ink spot.

Oh, thank goodness.

Jan, you and your jokes.

Didn't you think it was funny, Alice?

Oh, sure, sure.

Lucky I've got a strong heart.

Good-bye, all.

CAROL: Good-bye, Alice.

Have a nice day.

Bye.

Jan, that just shows how immature you are.

Oh, really?

( screams )

What is the matter?

A spider!

( laughs )

What's so funny?

You are.

It's a fake.

Plastic.

This came in my box of jokes, too.

I wasn't scared.

I'll bet.

( squeals )

Jan, now stop that.

Listen, Jan, everybody likes a good gag,

but some practical jokes just aren't funny.

One day, you'll cause someone some trouble--

real trouble.

PETER: How come they let you bring him home?

He's my science project.

I have to teach him to run that maze by Monday.

What do you call him?

Muridae mus musculus.

He looks just like a mouse to me.

GREG: That's his scientific name, dummy.

His real name is Myron.

Can I hold Myron?

Please, Greg, just for a couple of minutes.

Sure.

Be careful.

Okay. Be right back.

Guess who Greg's got helping him in science.

Who?

Myron!

( both scream )

BOTH: Jan!

( screaming continues )

Mom!

What is the matter?

Look. Jan's up to her tricks again,

and this one's alive.

Jan, this time you've gone too far.

Now, where did you get that... that thing?

It's not a thing, Mom.

It's a muridae mus musculus.

It's icky.

We won't live with that in this house!

CINDY: No, get it out!

Make him, Mom.

Look, Greg, I'm with them.

You can't keep your muridae

whatever thing around here.

Sorry.

I like Myron.

You're weird.

See Tiger doesn't like him either.

Well there is an intelligent animal.

Myron is harmless, Mom, really.

And he's cute.

CINDY: Ugly!

MARCIA: Make him take it away.

CAROL: I don't want to seem unfair

even to mice, but...

What's the trouble?

It's him-- my science project over the weekend.

I have to train him.

Oh, and you girls are

making a little fuss. Is that it?

Not a little. A lot.

Well that doesn't feel very fair to Greg

does it?

Well what about us girls?

Well it seems to me that

I remember about 14 girls

in this house for a slumber party

and that wasn't easy on the boys.

That's right girls.

How about a compromise here?

Let him keep his mouse and his project

out in the garage.

In the garage?

Well, that sounds like a pretty good idea.

What do you say, girls?

Is it a deal?

Thanks.

See how a little thing makes a boy happy?

Well, I wish the little thing

didn't have beady eyes and a long tail.

Okay Greg stick in the cheese!

Now, your ready?

Just a minute.

Okay.

Get him set so he knows which

way to go.

And...

They are at the gate, GO!

Go Myrone.

Common Myrone.

Common.

Wait a second

Go Myron!

Go Myron.

Go fella!

Common Myron go, you can do it!

Common there's the door

no take a left! take a left!

He's not doing so well

I wonder if its cuz he's not so intelligent.

Greg I think its cuz he's not too hungry.

Tommorow I'll let Peter and

Bobby won't fed him so much!

maybe we will have more luck!

Oh, I won't be able to help you tomorrow

I have to go to one of those

Saturday breakfast meetings.

I'll help you Greg.

Okay.

Don't forget to turn off the lights.

Gotcha!

Goodnight dad!

I think its mean that Marcia

and Cindy to make you keep

him out here all night

Ah! It's okay Jen!

He's perfectly safe out here.

Let's go.

Goodnight Myron.

Goodnight Myron.

Hey!

What's the matter?

It's the middle of the night.

I just remembered the neighbor's cat, Guinevere.

Hey, yeah.

Myron's out in the garage.

She could get to him.

And that's her favorite meal.

Myron's a goner.

GREG: He's okay.

BOBBY: Yeah, okay.

Don't worry, Myron.

We're going to take you right up to our room.

But Dad says you have to keep him out of the house.

He didn't mean to leave him

out here to be eaten.

I guess not.

Okay.

I'm sure not going to get him up in the middle of the night

just to remind him of Guinevere.

Me, neither.

We'll just keep Myron in our room tonight,

and take him out in the morning

before anybody wakes up.

Sure. Myron will be safe then because we'll be with him.

You guys think of everything.

Just don't make any noise

and wake anybody up.

Shh!

Hey!

What's the matter?

Myron's gone!

Are you kidding?

Gee, he is!

How could he have gotten out of there?

Maybe he watched

how you opened the cage.

We've got to find him

before Mom and Dad find out.

Suit up, quick.

PETER: Yeah, suit up, quick.

I bet Tom Tandlebom can find him

Who's Tom Tandlebom?

He's in my class, he always

he always wins when we have easter egg hunts.

What are you looking for?

I don't think its up here

let's look downstairs.

Yeah I bet he's downstairs.

It's downstairs.

Yeah, It's!

Well, if there's one thing I love,

it's giving up a dreary Saturday morning golf game

for an invigorating business meeting.

I promised Marge I'd go downtown

and do some shopping with her.

There's a sale.

How do think these go with my outfit?

Well... Oh, they don't.

CAROL: Well...

How about these? Think they're better?

Well...

Oh, but I don't think they go with this bag.

Let me see...

No, I think the straw one would go better, don't you?

Well...

You're absolutely right.

Hmm...

Oh, but then I'll have to change my belt.

No, I think I'll just use this one, huh?

Oh, hi.

Hey, hi, Alice.

Where's Mrs. Brady?

There's a big sale on downtown.

What else would get her out of the house

at this hour?

Hey, did you enjoy your day off?

Well, I took my aunt to the dentist,

and then to the hospital to visit her neighbor.

Then we went home and played mah-jongg until 10:00,

and then we went to bed.

It may not have been exciting

but, on the other hand, it sure was dull.

You didn't miss anything exciting

around here either.

See you later, Alice.

Bye, Mr. Brady.

What's up, fellows?

Dad!

Gee, Dad, where are you going so early?

Yeah, it's awful early.

I have a meeting.

What are you looking for?

Looking for? Us?

Were we looking for something?

Look, if it's private and you'd rather not talk about it,

say, "Dad, there is something we'd rather not talk about."

ALL: Dad, there's something we'd rather not talk about.

Okay.

Wait a minute, Dad.

The truth is, we're looking for Myron.

Myron.

My mouse.

What would he be doing in here?

That's what we're trying to figure out.

Yeah, he got away.

Why are you looking for Myron in the house?

Good question!

I thought so, what's a good answer?

I brought him inside last night.

Greg you did that after what you were told?

We only wanted to save him from Guenevere, the neighbor's cat.

We planned to take him out this morning. Honest.

We wouldn't wake you up

in the night to ask you.

Wasn't that nice of us?

Okay, okay, I guess I get the picture.

Where was Myron when you last saw him?

In his cage in our room

when we went back to sleep.

The cage is still there...

But Myron isn't.

You better find Myron before your mother gets home,

and that's an order.

I hope we can, Dad.

You better.

I got to go.

GREG: So long.

PETER: Yeah.

( sighs )

We've searched upstairs

and we've searched downstairs.

The attic!

Sometimes mice go up there.

That's where I'd go if i were a mouse.

Okay, let's look.

( humming "Pop Goes the Weasel" )

( screams )

( screaming )

( screaming )

What's the matter?

What happened, Alice?

Oh, it's nothing.

I was getting a clean spot

up here on the ceiling,

and I almost slipped. -Guy, she even cleans ceilings.

We've got to keep things tidy around here.

You better be careful.

Zap-it Exterminator Company?

This is the Brady residence.

You did a termite inspection for us a while back,

and now we've got another problem: mice.

Do you suppose you could have somebody come out here

in the next hour?

We've got a household full of children and women

that are scared to death of mice--

particularly the one that's talking to you.

Oh, thank you. Good.

Yes, I'll be waiting...

sitting right up here.

Well, that's it, ma'am.

That's all you have to do--

just squirt under the house?

This is powerful stuff.

He's got to be someplace.

But, gee, if he's not in the house

or in the attic...

Maybe he's under it.

Yeah, under it.

My compliments

to the Zap-it Exterminator Company.

You sure came fast.

We know how you ladies feel

about these things.

Bye, now.

Bye, boys.

Hey, how about some milk?

Alice?

What was that exterminator doing here?

I just thought I'd have him spray.

You never know what's under a house.

Under a house?

Well, now, don't get upset.

It's nothing terrible-- just mice.

Mice?

Well, mouse...

but I'm sure he had friends.

What did he look like?

If you insist on the repulsive details,

he was white, about that long,

and about that... yech!

Myron. Myron.

Myron.

Myron?

He was my science project.

His name was Myron.

His name was Myron?

I'm a murderess.

Greg, I think

you're going to be mad at me

for what I'm going to say,

but it will make you very happy.

What do you mean?

Myron wasn't exterminated.

He's in a hamper upstairs in our room.

He is?

Who put him up there?

I did.

Come on.

I'll show you.

Oh, boy! Let's go get him.

I took him out of his cage in your room last night

just to play a joke.

Okay, okay, let's see Myron.

Okay, he's right here where I...

All I see is a big hole.

Me, too.

Oh, no... he must have gnawed his way out.

Well, I haven't seen such sad faces

since the last day of summer vacation.

What's the matter?

Myron's gone.

What happened?

He's been exterminated.

Rubbed out.

Oh, Greg, I'm sorry.

When did it happen?

It doesn't matter now.

( Tiger howling )

Even Tiger's sad about it.

I'm really sorry.

( Tiger howling )

Hello, Alice.

Hello, Mrs. Brady.

Myron?

What happened?

Well, I did it to him.

I had no idea he was Greg's science project,

and I called the exterminator.

I saw that little pink nose twitching at me,

and I panicked.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

I heard about Myron.

Oh, Mom...

it's all my fault.

I was playing one of those dumb jokes.

That's how Myron got away, and now...

Oh, honey.

I'll never do it again.

I'll never play another joke

as long as I live.

Oh, well, we know you didn't mean it.

Shh!

Hi.

We're in mourning.

Yeah, Greg told me.

( Tiger howling )

What's the matter with Tiger?

( howling continues )

Something's bothering him, all right.

( howling )

Well, we all miss Myron,

but it's hard to believe

Tiger's this upset.

Tiger was scared of Myron.

( whining )

Aha!

I think it's mutual.

What do you mean, Dad?

Take a look.

GREG: Oh, it's Myron.

Oh...

cute.

( all fawning )

He was too smart

for the exterminator.

May I hold him, Greg, please?

Well, okay, if you promise

not to drop him in any more clothes hampers.

Oh, he's so cute.

Isn't he darling?

( all fawning )

Looks like the girls

had a change of heart about Myron.

Well, why not?

I mean, did you ever see anything

as gorgeous as this little guy

with the beady eyes and the long tail?

Oh, Greg, quick.

It's sure a lot easier

to peel a banana than it is a potato.

You're right.

Some night we might even try

french-fried bananas.

Any more towels for the laundry?

Oh, Alice, your uniform.

You've got an ink stain.

Oh, you just couldn't resist

playing one more trick, could you?

Alice, I didn't...

That looks really real,

but you can't fool me.

I know how to take care

of ink spots like this...

Like you said, Mrs. Brady--

there's an ink spot on my uniform.

She thought I did it.

Yeah, I know.

Well, I didn't.