Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group ♪

♪ Must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Hi, you guys, I'm packing my stuff.

What's all this stuff doing out?

You aren't going camping till Saturday.

I know, but I want to make sure

I don't forget anything-- not this time.

What's so special about this time?

Well, it's my first overnight camp-out

with just the guys.

Hey, come on, you guys.

Let's play free throws in the wastebasket.

We better not. Mom will get mad.

No, she won't. Nobody's home.

Set it up again.

Big Pete Brady intercepts and goes for a shot.

Oh, no!

GREG: Mom's favorite vase.

She always says, "Don't play ball in the house."

I'll be grounded.

There goes my camping trip.

Boy, I can just hear Mom and Dad now.

I'm going to get it for sure.

Good-bye, camping trip.

Wait a minute... maybe not.

What do you mean?

You got to tell Mom and Dad

in order to face up to this, right?

Yeah, so?

So, supposing you don't tell them right away?

Suppose you wait till after this weekend to tell them?

I'll still be punished

but I'll get to go on my camping trip.

Right!

Well, they'll see that it's broken.

Not if we glue it together.

Look, there are only three pieces.

Neat-o!

That's a great idea.

You guys are sure swell brothers.

Oh, but remember, we've got to keep this thing

a secret till after the weekend.

MARCIA: I won't tell anybody.

I'm very good at keeping secrets.

Ask anybody.

I guess it'll have to be all right.

As long as she doesn't say anything.

About what?

Look! Greg broke Mommy's favorite vase!

I didn't break it.

I did.

But he's not telling till later.

Till after he comes back from his camping trip.

Until then, it's a secret.

Come on, you guys, help me put this thing back together again.

If one more Brady finds out,

it won't be a secret anymore.

Carol...

Daddy's home with flowers.

Oh no!

What if he wants to use this vase?

Carol...

Where is everybody?

Oh hi Mr. Brady

I didn't hear you out back.

Beautiful flowers.

Where did everybody go?

Well Mrs. Brady is out picking up a few things.

including a new patato peeler

for our special treat tonight

Patatos a'la Alice!

Mmm...

Comn' I've got an idea

You stay here Cindy

And guard those pieces.

Okay.

They boys are out playing

That only counts for half the silence

What about the rest of them?

Well the girls --

Here comes 2 of thundering herd now!

Every man for himself.

Hi dad!

Oh...

Oh beautiful flowers

Mmm...

That's quite a greeting

These however are for your mother.

We know just the vase for them.

We will put them right in it.

Okay becareful, thank you!

This is the best glue we've got, kids.

Is it good for vases?

"Is it good for vases?"

Does it say on there it's good for vases?

Yeah.

Then it's good for vases.

Will it be invisible, mister?

"Will it be invisible, mister?"

Does it say on there it's invisible?

No.

Then it's not invisible.

We need something that's invisible.

This is as close as you can get.

Believe me, you've got to squint to see it.

Okay, we'll take it.

They'll take it.

Hello, boys.

Mom.

Oh, no.

Hi, Mom.

I thought you guys went out to play ball.

Well, not exactly, we...

We came to buy something.

Yeah, candy.

Well, actually, it's a...

It's a corn popper.

That's right, for popping corn.

I figured I'd take it with me on my camping trip.

Gentlemen, here's your change.

Thank you for your patronage, and come again.

That, uh, looks awfully small to be a corn popper.

It only pops a few corns at a time.

How ingenuous.

Come on, fellows. What's up?

Nothing, Mom.

Yeah, nothing at all.

Nothing at all.

Well, if you say so.

Well, we got to get going. We'll see you at the house.

Well, why don't you wait a second and I'll take you?

I've only got one more stop after here.

That's okay. We need the exercise.

Yeah, we'd rather walk.

Or jog, jogging's real good for you.

Wet rag.

Dry rag.

All clear.

Dad's still reading and Mom hasn't got back yet.

What about Alice?

I think she's in the kitchen

trying to mush up potatoes

with an egg beater.

There, that should do it.

How long will it take to dry?

Uh, I don't know.

It says, "two to four hours."

We better put it back and let it dry.

Hi Alice.

Mmm...patato peeler?

Oh yes!

I'm running out of fingers to nate.

Oh those are pretty flowers

Are those for you or for me?

Since your husband brought them

I thikn I better say they are for you!

(laugh)

Okay.

What are you staring at?

Uh, the flowers are so pretty.

JAN: Oh, aren't they beautiful?

Yeah, they sure smell great in that vase.

Well, I think they could use a larger vase.

This one looks like it's going to tip over.

That one on the chest there should be just right.

Oh, Mom, don't you think it would be nice

if we did something else with the flowers?

Like what?

Why don't we replant them?

Yeah, they might smell better in the garden.

Yeah. CINDY: That's a great idea.

Now, you know you can't replant cut flowers.

Boy, I wish you'd all been this interested

in gardening when I was doing the weeding.

Wait a minute, Mom. I'll get the vase for you.

I'll help.

I'm great at arranging flowers.

You? Since when?

I hardly ever get a chance.

Say, would you hurry up before dinner gets cold?

Yeah, and put an aspirin in the water.

Water? In the vase?

Well, of course!

You've got to put flowers in water.

It doesn't leak.

Great, put the flowers in.

Will you kids stop daydreaming?

Why aren't you eating?

It's just that everything is so good

we want to make it last.

Well, there's plenty here for seconds.

Come on, dig in!

Mike!

Alice!

Help!

Alice?

Oh, dear, what in the w...?

Anybody got three coins for the fountain?

Alice, get a towel, would you, please?

You know, I don't recollect this vase having cracks in it

when your mother bought it.

Obviously, it's been broken and glued back together again.

The question is, who broke it and who glued it together?

Your mother and I expect an answer... after dinner.

Mom?

Yes, Greg?

I got something to tell you.

I should have told you right away.

I knew it was your favorite.

I broke the vase. I'm sorry.

I was skipping rope in the living room.

I know I'm not supposed to

and that's how I broke the vase.

I'm sorry.

I know I'm not supposed to play ball

in the house, Mom, but I did it.

I'm sorry, Dad. I'm the one.

I did it, Mother.

Mike?

Hmm?

Do you want to know

something peculiar about that vase?

Yeah, you broke it?

Me?

Seems to be the trend.

( chuckling )

Greg, Marcia, Jan, Bobby and Cindy--

that's five suspects, five confessions.

You know what I think, Mike?

( knocking )

Oh.

Excuse me, could I interrupt you folks for just a second?

Sure, Alice.

I really should have said something sooner, I guess.

I was kind of hoping I could replace it,

but, you see, I broke the vase.

You?

Yeah, clumsy me.

I've got ten thumbs on each hand.

Come on, Alice, you didn't break that vase.

Yes, I did.

I was reaching for the high shelve

You know the one that's always to high for me

I kinda knocked it off.

Alice...

The vase was on the cabinet

next to the livingroom stairs.

Right!

I was moving the vase

from that high shelf

so it wouldn't get broken

that's when I broke it.

Well its offly nice for you

to own up to it Alice.

I knew it was something kind

of special to you and I

didn't want you to blame the kids.

Sorry, Alice, no dice.

Well, would you believe...?

Uh-uh. It's nice of you to try to protect the kids.

Yeah, thanks anyway, Alice.

Okay.

But I'll go to my grave believing I was guilty.

See?

Well, we still have five suspects

and five confessions.

Correction, six suspects.

And number six is looking forward

to an overnight camping trip this Saturday.

( with British accent ): By jove, Holmes, you've deduced

that young Peter Brady did it.

Elementary, my dear Watson-- the five who confessed

are covering up for the sixth who didn't.

Right, and if Peter is guilty,

then the other kids are accessories to the crime.

Well, what are we going to do about it, Mike?

Well, why don't we play along with their little game

and punish everybody who confessed.

What, and allow Peter to get away with it?

Honey, Peter's not going to get away with it.

His conscience won't let him.

Does anybody know why Dad

called this meeting?

I...he's going to tell everybody

that I broke the vase.

I confessed.

Oh no!

Well somebody had to take the blame.

I told mom I did it.

Me too.

Thud...

You too?

I guess we all confessed

I didn't ...

You didn't?

I wanted too in the first place...

But you guys dreamed up this whole thing...

Peter is right.

We are much to blame of this as he is.

Shhh...

Here they come...

I think we are all going to get it.

Yes, well...

One of you broke your mother's vase,

but five of you claim you did it.

There seems to be a slight communication gap

in this family.

MIKE: Look, no matter who broke it, the others of you

who confessed are just as guilty for hiding the truth,

and I'm afraid you're all going to have to be punished.

But when people admit their guilt,

aren't they supposed to get a lighter sentence?

Well, that's not up to me, Jan.

What do you mean, Dad?

In this case, your punishments are not going to be decided

by your mother or by me.

They will be decided by a jury of one--

your brother, Peter.

Peter?

JAN: How come?

Well, see? Now, he's the only one who didn't confess.

Doesn't that seem fairly obvious that he alone's innocent?

I-I don't think I'd make a very good jury.

Yes, well, we'll be the judges of that.

Now, Peter, you tell us what you think

your brothers and sisters should get for punishment,

and if it sounds reasonable, then your word will be law.

I-I'm not really old enough to make laws.

You can start with your sisters.

Wait, Mom.

Would it be all right if I thought about it a while?

You want to sleep on it, son?

Yes, please.

Okay.

You can make your recommendations in the morning.

In the meantime, this court's recessed

till 0800 tomorrow-- scat.

Good night.

Good night.

I can't do it.

I can't hand out punishments.

Why not?

Because it's not fair.

I'm the guy who busted the vase.

Look, you kept it a secret this far,

so forget about it till you come back from your camping trip.

Yeah, then you can blab all you like.

I don't know.

Don't you want to go camping?

Do I?

Real bad.

But what's going to happen to you guys?

It's up to you.

Why don't you ask Mom and Dad

to give us time off for good behavior.

All you have to do

is make the punishments easy.

Like what?

I don't know.

Me, neither.

It's kind of hard to punish myself.

Hey, that's it.

You guys can think up your own punishments.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'll help Mom all day long in the kitchen

next time she makes cookies.

Okay-- who's next?

Marcia.

Send her in.

Okay.

I've got a great punishment for myself.

Okay.

I'll take Bobby to the amusement park.

Taking care of Bobby at an amusement park?

Kids can be a lot of trouble at his age.

Yeah, well, going to an amusement park

and helping your mother make cookies...

Don't you think those punishments

are a little bit lenient?

CAROL: Peter,

your brothers and sisters have done something wrong.

We're trying to discourage them from doing it again.

I don't think Greg's going to get the message

if you sentence him

to a Saturday matinee with Cindy. I mean...

No, I guess not.

Well, if I were you, I'd ground him

from playing ball next Saturday.

Yeah.

Have him spend the day taking the screens down.

I told you I'd make a terrible jury.

Peter? I think you're going easy

because they're your brothers and sisters.

MIKE: Why don't you give it some more thought

and this time, let the punishment fit the crime.

Yeah, okay.

I've got a lot

of thinking to do.

Mike, I think his conscience is getting to him.

Oh, yeah, if I know Peter

he'll be ready to admit it by morning.

Come on, Peter, you'll be late for school.

PETER: Greg...

What is it?

This Saturday, you've got to take off

all the window screens.

Huh?

They got to be washed and stored in the cellar.

Bobby will help you.

What do you got to wash screens for?

The water goes right through.

That's not the punishment we gave ourselves.

I know, but Mom and Dad didn't like your ideas

so I had to get new ones for you and the girls, too.

But I'll miss a ball game Saturday.

I know-- I'm sorry.

Look, I didn't want to give out punishments.

I wanted to confess.

But you guys kept on saying, "No, go camping."

And now that you talked me into it, you're mad at me.

I guess we did start it, and we're not quitters.

We're not quitters.

Mike, honey, wait a minute.

You forgot this.

Oh, thank you, sweetheart.

You know, this morning, I was sure

Peter would admit breaking that vase.

Yeah, me, too. And tomorrow's his camping trip.

Yeah, well, I've been thinking of a new approach.

Why don't we reward him?

For breaking my vase?

No, for being the only one who wasn't involved, see?

That ought to give his conscience a little nudge.

Right again, my dear Watson.

It's elementary, my dear Holmes, elementary.

What do you think we ought to give him?

Well how about camping equipment,

you know, like a lantern?

He's wanted one of those for a long time.

A lantern? Mm-hmm.

Mike, that is inspired.

Inspired?

Yeah, wasn't it Diogenes who went around with a lantern

looking for an honest man?

Thanks, but I don't think I want it.

Why not?

It's... it's too big.

( sighs )

Well, how... how about this one?

This looks like a pretty good size.

Gee, Dad, I don't have to be rewarded.

Well, you were the only one who didn't confess.

We want you to really enjoy your camping trip.

It's an awful lot of money.

But you deserve it.

We want you to have it.

You do?

Let me think it over a minute.

Sure.

I think he's ready to tell.

This did it.

Okay, I've made up my mind.

Yeah.

I'll take it.

( sighs )

GREG: Mom's favorite vase.

BOBBY: She always says don't play ball in the house.

GREG: Mom's favorite vase.

BOBBY: She always says don't play ball in the house.

GREG: Mom's favorite vase.

BOBBY: She always says don't play ball in the house.

( whirring )

( car horn honks )

Hi, Doug.

Peter'll be right out.

MIKE: Peter!

He's coming, honey.

Oh.

Hurry up, dear.

Come on, you've got everything, son?

Yeah.

Now remember, stay warm and dry

and do everything Mr. Kramer tells you.

Thanks, Mom.

Good-bye, dear.

Good-bye.

Good-bye, Peter.

Good-bye.

I can't go.

Mom, Dad, it's my fault.

I broke the vase.

I should have told you.

I really meant to,

but it was the camping trip that I really wanted.

It's okay, it's okay, son.

Mr. Kramer's waiting.

I'd better tell him I can't make it.

What reason shall I give him?

The truth, Peter.

Just tell him the truth.

Yeah, the truth.

Hi, Peter.

Oh, hi, Mom.

Why are you doing that?

I'm taking over all the punishments

I gave the other kids.

Well, that's a very nice gesture, Peter,

and I've got one more job for you to do.

What's that?

When you're finished,

would you mind gluing this back together again?

And this time, try to do a better job.

Oh, no!

Well, Peter, it looks like we're going to need a lot more glue.

First, we'd better tell Dad the truth.