Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group ♪

♪ Must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

( pounding )

( drill whirring )

Oh, boy.

Anybody want anything else?

Yeah. A pair of earplugs.

Boy, what a racket.

Mr. and Mrs. Liston are adding a room to the house.

Sounds more like a house to the room.

They'll be finished Friday.

Cindy, how did you know that?

I heard Mrs. Liston telling Mr. Liston.

And he sure was mad.

He said now Mrs. Liston's mother

would come and visit them and never go home.

Cindy, what other people say privately

is none of our business.

( drill whirring )

Oh, thanks, Alice.

Where's the rest of the tribe?

I'll give them another call.

Jan! Marcia! Bobby! Peter!

Better get a move on if you want breakfast before lunch!

Oh!

Gosh. Now, how did that happen?

Peter was using the top

to strain a guppy out of the fish tank.

Strain a guppy out of his fish tank?

Tattletale.

All right, Greg, that's enough.

But I didn't do anything wrong.

Peter strained the guppy.

What Peter did was wrong,

but what you did was wrong, too.

You know, that's none of your business.

Your tattling is not right,

and can get other people into trouble.

Would you like someone to tattle on you?

Uh-uh. That's no fun.

Then why should you tattle on other people?

'Cause that is fun.

Cindy, honey please stop

figitting.

I'm trying mommy.

You don't want me to stick you do you?

You just did.

Oh I'm sorry.

honey I really am.

Hi mom.

Hi Greg.

Have you seen my bicycle pump?

Yeah its on the serice bored.

Greg?

You didn't wear those whole pants to school

Did you?

Yeah they are kinda comfortable.

He tore his new pants

yesterday playing basketball.

Squiller!

Greg!

Why didn't you tell me?

I was going too

He asked Alcie to patch it up

so it wouldn't show.

You little blabber mouth!

That'll do Greg!

I'll talk to you later.

Cindy

Do you remember that little

talk we had at breakfast

this morning?

You mean about the puppies?

No!

You're father and I warned you

about taddling

I didn't mean to get Brady in to trouble.

If I really wanted to I would have told you about the time --

Cindy!

Cindy! Cindy!

Hi honey

Hi love.

Well, what exciting events did I miss around here today?

Hmm. Exciting. Let's see.

Well, for one thing, I saved you some money.

Yeah? How'd you do that?

Well, all the sales started downtown,

and I didn't buy anything.

That's what I call exciting.

Oh, yes, and one more thing, Mike.

Our little gossip columnist was at it today.

Uh-oh. Who got it this time?

Greg.

Well, I think it's a phase

she's going through--

the youngest one's way of getting attention.

I guess you're right.

I hope so.

Tiger!

He's got your golf ball.

Tiger, drop that ball!

Tiger!

Well, it's probably all chewed up anyway.

That dumb dog.

He was smart enough

to get into your golf bag.

I lose more golf balls in this house

than I do on the course,

not to mention shoes and socks.

Don't tell me

he's going through a phase, too.

For the fabrics that are best, put your faith in Everprest.

You will always look well-dressed,

and you never will be messed... up.

What's all that about, Alice?

Well, I'm writing a jingle

for the Everprest fabric contest.

I've got to think of a good last line to rhyme with Everprest.

Not another contest. Alice.

Talk about phases.

Alice has been going through

the longest one in this house.

Like they say, you can't lose them all.

Oh, don't mind him, Alice.

I admire your persistence.

Tiger!

How did he get my tuxedo vest?

Honey, I put some things out for the cleaners.

If that dog puts one tooth mark in that vest...

Vest. That's it, that's it.

For the fabrics that are best, put your faith in Everprest.

You will always look well-dressed

in the east and in the vest.

Oh, Alice...

All right, all right.

I'll keep trying.

Hi, Bobby.

What do you want?

Will you lend me your skate key?

I'm not lending anything to a snitcher.

I'm not a snitcher.

I just tell it like it is.

Well, I'm still not lending you my skate key,

after the way you squealed on Greg and Peter.

Okay. I'll tell what you did yesterday.

You little fink.

Hey, Bobby.

Daddy, wait till I tell you

what Bobby did yesterday.

Yes, well, let's just drop

the whole subject, shall we? Whatever it is.

Okay, if you don't want to know

that Bobby used Mommy's new lipstick

to color his skateboard.

No, I d...

You used Mommy's new lipstick

to color your skateboard?

You should have heard

Mrs. Devon telling Paula Tardy

to go right to the washing room

to scrub off her mascara.

Mascara?

Lot's of the girls use it

And who do you think brought

a pair of their mothers false eyelashes to class?

Who?

Common Jen, I want to

show you something!

You know

I wish we could move out of our room

Why?

Supposed one of us talked in

our sleep

Little Miss you know who

would get up and take some notes!

When the teacher wrote something on the board

I snoke in on the closet

Yeah?

I had a lizard in my lunch box

Oh!

Common let's go over to the

park maybe we can get up a ball game?

Uh, yeah

It suddenly got very crowded out here!

Well it looks like the other kids

are teaching Cindy a lesson.

Oh yeah, you mean she hasn't taddled on anyone lately?

No, not for 5 whole days

and it would have been 6

except she told me about last Monday

What about last Monday?

You think I'm a snitcher?

(laugh)

Anybody for a refils? On the house

Thanks Alice!

Please.

How are things in the contest world these days?

I haven't heard yet.

I wonder if I sent in the wrong jingle.

The wrong one?

I had another one.

Everprest, just right for you

if you are no-matter-who.

Try our fabrics, and real soon, in flannel, silk or gabardoon.

"Gabardoon"?

That's a pun.

( laughing ): You mean poon.

Aah! Watch the sugar.

Hi, Cindy.

Can I help?

Wouldn't you rather be out

playing with the others?

Aw, who wants to play those dumb kid games?

You didn't think they were dumb kid games a week ago.

Well, I was younger then.

Yeah, I guess you have aged in a whole week.

It's more fun in here with you.

Can't I help?

I'm just about finished.

Then I got to do my hair and nails.

Sam's taking me to a dance tonight.

I like Sam.

Yeah. Me, too.

You going to marry him?

I sure am.

The question is, is he going to marry me?

( doorbell chimes )

A registered letter for Alice Nelson.

That's me.

Oh, sign right here.

( phone rings )

I'll get it, Alice.

From the Everprest Fabric Company.

( phone ringing )

It must be about the contest.

I'm so nervous.

Hello.

Oh, hi, Sam.

This is Cindy.

Alice is at the front door with the postman.

( laughing )

I won.

I won!

She's hugging the postman.

( laughing ) I won!

I'm positive.

She's hugging the postman.

I actually won something!

Isn't that beautiful?

I'll go call her.

Oh!

Congratulations.

Why don't you want me to tell her it's you?

Okay, I promise I won't tell.

Bye.

Hey, Cindy, guess what.

I won a prize in the jingle contest.

Oh, that's neat.

What did you win?

They're going to let me know.

I can't wait to tell Sam tonight.

Whoops!

Aw, that's too bad. Uh... let me show you.

Maybe, if you just kind of, uh, bent your...

Oh, come on, now!

It was a break in the carpet.

And no comment from the gallery.

Yes, yes, I know.

♪ Ta-da, ta-da-da, ta-da ♪

How do I look?

Well, would you settle for "radiant"?

Wow. I prefer "breathtaking."

Oh I wouldn't want to start

an argument between you two

so why don't settle on breathtakingly radiant.

I wonder what's keeping Sam.

He's usually right on time.

Oh, he's probably getting himself all slicked up.

It isn't every night a fella can take out a contest winner.

I haven't told him yet.

I'm saving it for a surprise.

Well, I know one certain party who was surprised.

Alice, look, if I could remember what I said,

I would eat every word, syllable by syllable.

Alice, you don't have any idea what you won?

Only that it's one of five prizes.

They're going to let me know.

Sam is never this late.

Why don't you call him?

Yeah, yeah, call him.

Maybe he got stuck in traffic or something.

Or maybe he stopped to buy you some flowers.

Sam, where are you?

Well, I know you're home.

You answered the phone.

Why aren't you here?

You're not coming?

What about the dance?

Let the postman take me?

What's that supposed to mean?

Sam...

Sam?

He's not coming.

Alice, what was that about the postman?

I don't know.

Isn't anyone coming up to kiss me good night?

Yeah, honey, in just a second.

I just don't understand what's gotten into Sam.

He sure was sore this afternoon.

Cindy, when did you speak to Sam?

He phoned when Alice was at the door hugging the postman.

Maybe that's what made him mad.

Well, I was hugging the postman because I'd won the cont...

How did Sam know that?

I told him.

MIKE: Oh, Cindy.

Alice, why don't you and I

go in the kitchen and call Sam back?

Maybe, between the two of us,

we can straighten this thing out.

ALICE: Oh, please, Mrs. Brady.

Sam is just so jealous.

Yeah, I think the time's come

for a little one-sided discussion here.

Hop up there.

( sighs )

I want you to listen to me very carefully.

Cindy, you know,

you've done a very bad thing with your tattling.

Yes, Daddy.

I know it's difficult for a little girl

to know what to say and what not to say.

Grown-ups have that same problem.

But you have to learn when to keep quiet.

But what if someone asks me where Mommy is?

Can't I tell them?

Yes, of course you can.

Even if she's hugging the postman?

Cindy, the point is that you are not to tattle

about other peoples' business anymore.

Now, I mean never.

Because, if you do, you're going to be punished.

Is that clear?

Yes, Daddy.

Good. I hope so.

Well, we just spoke to Sam.

Everything's fine.

He'll be right over.

And as for you, young lady...

Daddy already told me.

Well, I hope you were firm enough, Mike.

He was.

MARCIA: Tiger, come back here!

Give me back my paper!

That hairy thief!

He took it right off my desk!

That does it.

If that hound snitches one more thing,

I'm going to ship him off to Siberia.

Would you really do that to Tiger, Daddy?

Never mind about Tiger.

You just remember what your father told you.

Don't worry, Mommy.

I'll never tell on anyone again.

Yeah, well, I would like to believe that.

Well, I'll believe it when I don't hear it.

Marcia, what are the seven wonders of the world?

Seven wonders?

I've got six so far.

What's the matter?

What happened downstairs?

I can't tell you.

It's tattling.

If Cindy won't tattle, there's your seventh wonder.

Come on, Cindy.

You can tell us.

I can't, because it might get someone into trouble.

Who?

Me and someone else.

Who?

I can't tell you.

Gee, it looks like she's really changed.

Now that I won't tell anymore, will you tell me some secrets?

We'll see.

Let's not rush into anything.

( doorbell rings )

Don't you steal any jacks now, Tiger.

Who is it?

Postman.

Registered letter for Miss Alice Nelson.

She isn't here,

and I can't tell you anything else

because I'm not a tattletale anymore.

Well, you're a very good girl.

Can you sign your name?

Uh-huh.

Good. You sign right here,

and give the letter to Miss Nelson.

Okay, but I better not give you a hug for it.

Aw, I guess it's just one of my unlucky days.

Thank you.

Bye.

Tiger!

Tiger!

Tiger!

If you steal one more thing,

Daddy might send you to Siberia.

Tiger, come back!

Tiger!

( whispering ): Tiger, they better not catch you with that letter.

Hi, Cindy.

Alice, can you manage?

Shopping's getting rougher all the time.

First you run out of money buying it,

then you run out of arms getting it home.

Cindy, what are you doing?

Looking for my ball.

There's a rubber bone in here for Tiger.

Maybe it will curb his appetite for taking things. Tiger!

I think he's kind of busy.

Honey, come on in the house.

You can help us unpack.

( phone rings )

( phone rings again )

Anybody going to answer the phone?

( rings again )

Guess I am.

Hello.

Yeah.

Who?

Oh, yeah.

I'm sure she wants to talk to you.

Uh... hang on a second.

I'll see if she's home. Alice!

Alice, telephone!

Got it, Mr. Brady.

Honey, put this in Mommy's sewing basket,

will you, please?

Well, I have to find Tiger.

You can do that later, dear. Go on.

It's the Everprest Fabric Company.

Oh, it must be about the prize.

I wonder what I won.

Well?

Maybe it's a trip somewhere.

Well... Maybe a fur coat?

Well... Maybe a car!

Alice.

What?

Ask the man.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Hello? Hello. Sorry to keep you waiting.

This is Alice Nelson.

What did I win?

What?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Keep talking.

I'll get it here.

I really won a hi-fi stereo set?!

What do I have to do to get it?

Uh, wait, wait. Just a second.

Yeah, uh, Lloyd's Stereo Center.

Yeah, I know where it is.

Yeah, all I have to do

is present the certificate you sent me.

That sounds simple enough.

Wait. What certificate you sent me?

You didn't send me a certificate.

Did I get another registered letter?

Not that I know of.

Well, maybe the mails are a little slow.

What's that?

It does?

Well, thanks for calling, anyway.

MIKE: What is it, Alice?

Well, you know that certificate I didn't get?

Yeah? Yeah?

I got to get it to Lloyd's Stereo Center

before midnight tonight or it expires.

Boy, they sure give you a lot of time.

If I don't show up, they keep the prize.

There's still a few hours left

to find that certificate.

Maybe it's stuck in the mailbox.

Remember the time the letter did that?

Maybe the same thing happened to my letter.

Yeah. Come on, Alice, let's look.

I'll put the groceries away.

Oh, wait a minute.

Cindy, do you know anything

about a registered letter for Alice?

You do? Where is it?

Did the postman leave it?

What did you do with it?

Nothing.

Where did you put it?

I didn't put it. I just took it.

Well, where is it?

You mean exactly?

Exactly.

I don't know.

Well, how about approximately?

Cindy, please.

What happened to the letter?

But I can't tell you.

Sweetheart, I have to know.

But I promised not to tattle anymore.

Well, look, dear,

this is different.

I give you permission to tattle.

Mrs. Brady,

would you order her to tattle?

Look, Cindy,

this letter is very important to Alice.

Now, where is it?

But I can't tell you

because it might get Tiger into trouble.

Tiger!

We might have known.

Hah! I got it!

Oh, good! Got it, Mrs. Brady!

With the holes he chewed,

it's going to look like an IBM Card.

Come on, let's get it open.

Oh, Alice, oh, the certificate's fine!

( giggling )

I'll get down to the store right away.

You mind if I take the car?

No, not at all.

( giggling )

Alice!

Alice...

I know, I know. I forgot one little thing.

I don't know how to drive.

( all talking at once )

It's beautiful, Alice.

It's really terrific.

Alice, it's so nice of you

to let us keep it in here.

This way, the whole family can enjoy it.

MIKE: Hey, have I got a record for you.

Wait till you hear it.

The Three Baboons and Elsie?

The Eggbeaters?

No, this is music.

♪ A wandering minstrel, I ♪

♪ A thing of shreds and patches ♪

♪ Of ballad songs and snatches... ♪

CAROL: Mike, Mike... Yeah, how about the record?

Ah... the best of Gilbert and Sullivan.

Is that a new group?

( giggles )

New group? Why, these songs have lived

for almost a hundred years.

Thank you very much. Could we play it, Alice?

Oh, yeah, you bet.

Hey, who's been playing with this?

They left the amplifier on.

Cindy, did you do that?

No, and please don't ask me who did.

I'm not going to tattle on my mommy.

4,516... 4,517... 4,518...

Hi, Alice. What are you doing?

It's a contest.

Oh, no. Not another one.

I could win it.

I'm on a lucky streak-- one in a row.

A jellybean contest?

Yeah. That market on Eighth Street

has got this big barrel of them.

You have to guess how many.

They've got some great prizes.

I like the green ones.

I'll take the yellow ones.

No, not while I'm counting, please.

I'm trying to win something for Cindy

for not tattling anymore.

Oh, that's very thoughtful of you, Alice

but I'll bet these jellybeans

cost more than the prizes are worth.

They had some pretty nice things--

dollhouses, bicycles.

Wow.

You know, this looks like a million of them.

I figure there are about 40 bowlfuls

in that barrel.

So, all I have to do is to fill up this bowl once

and multiply it by 40-- simple.

Why don't you just fill it half full

and multiply it by, uh, 80?

Don't confuse me.

Let's see, now. Where was I?

Uh, 4,518.

Or was that 5,418?

You must have heard me counting when you came in.

Which one was it?

5,418.

No, I think it was 4,518.

No...

One, two, three,

four, five...

A yellow one, Alice?

Six, seven...