Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was ♪

♪ Much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group ♪

♪ Must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all ♪

♪ Became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch. ♪

Hi, sweetheart.

You're home late today.

Hi, Alice.

Alice?

All day long I thought

I was Carol Brady, your mother.

What a lovely day this is.

Seemed kind of cloudy to me.

It's the loveliest day ever.

The daffodils are singing.

The birds are blooming.

Daffodils are singing and birds are blooming?

What's with her?

Well, my woman's intuition tells me...

Yes?

That our little girl has a slight case

of puppy love.

( chuckles ): Slight case?

I'd say, from that dazed expression on her face,

she had an epidemic.

You're sure that's what it is?

Yeah. I know the look.

She's only 13.

Well, that's the age--

that uncertain year between childhood and adolescence.

Well, anything we can do to help?

There certainly is, Mr. Brady.

What?

Prepare ourselves for the agonies to come.

Alice, have you talk to Marcia

No, why?

She's really weird

I asked her if I can borrow

a scarf, and she said

"The air is full of music

and the birds smell like wine."

The birds smell like wine?

That's what she said.

Honest.

Well maybe a hummingbird

got into somebody's cooking

cherry.

Got to give them something

to hum about.

Jen?

What's the matter with Marcia?

Did she say something

goofy to you too?

uhu, she's just sitting their staring at the wall.

With a dumb look ono her face.

See?

Making she's coming down

with a flu.

I bet to check on her.

Marcia, honey do you feel okay?

When your heart has wings,

who can feel?

Now do you believe us?

Well I was close

but I got the wrong bug

make that the love bug.

not the flu bug.

Mom, Marcia's been locked

in that bathroom for an hour.

We need one more bathroom or one less sister.

Yeah. One less sister.

Oh, be patient with her, boys.

You know she's in the throes of her first romance.

You mean she's in love? Yech!

Bobby, love isn't all "yech."

Well, who's the unfortunate fellow?

I think his name is... Harvey Klinger?

Harvey Klinger?

Harvey Klinger?

Harvey Klinger?

Who's Harvey Klinger?

What's wrong with Harvey Klinger?

Everything's wrong with Harvey Klinger.

He's an all-time, all-American

grade-A creep.

Besides being a jerk, a goof

and a double dingbat.

Greg, don't you think

that's being just a little bit strong?

Mom, those are his good points.

Hey, you'll never guess what happened.

She's out of the bathroom.

It's about time.

Now she's on the phone.

Talking to harebrained Harvey, no doubt.

Nope, she's talking to her girlfriend, Sally,

who sits next to Harvey.

And it sure sounds icky.

Dinner's ready, kids.

Alice, would you please call the others?

Hey, dinner ready, Alice?

Just coming to get you, Mr. Brady.

She's still staring at the wall.

Cindy, must we have

these ten-minute announcements?

I'd better go and get Juliet.

I'll do that.

You'd better eat my pot roast while it's hot.

When it cools off, it loses something in the translation.

Come on.

Soup's on, honey.

Everybody's waiting for you.

Everyone except Harvey Klinger.

Hmm?

He doesn't know I'm alive, Alice.

Oh, now, what makes you say that?

I didn't. He did.

Told my girlfriend, Sally.

Maybe she misunderstood him.

No, Alice.

Have you ever been in love?

I mean, really, truly in love?

Sure.

And it can hurt...

until the next time you're really, truly in love.

I'll never find the right man again.

Sure, you will.

The problem is to find the right man

that thinks you're the right woman.

What's the difference?

If Harvey Klinger doesn't know I exist...

I wish I didn't.

Marcia hasn't got the sign of a cough,

and she isn't lying on a chaise

holding a faded lily,

but you have definitely got a Camille on your hands.

( sighing forlornly )

Well, I suppose it hurts the same at any age.

There must be some way we can help her.

Yeah, there is.

How?

Well, by not butting in.

Honey, look, she's going to get over it.

Puppy love isn't lasting, and it certainly isn't fatal.

No, but, for a while,

it can sure make you wish it was.

You're absolutely right.

I say we should try to help her.

Yeah, and I say, "Butt out."

Well Mike, you yourself said

If there is anything we could do

to help... remember?

Yea well I know but...

Well then its settled.

We help her.

Now the problem is that

Harvey Klinger doesn't even notice Marcia.

Well then let's think of a way

to see that he does.

Yea let's think of a way.

Oh no, you think of a way!

All right, but I'm going to do it under protest.

Okay. Now, Mike,

when you were Harvey's age,

what attracted you to girls?

( snickers )

Well, um...

having something in common

like... a hobby.

Well, that sounds like a good idea.

What was your hobby?

Girls!

( laughing )

I wonder

what Harvey Klinger's hobby is.

CAROL: This one? Don't peek.

( Marcia laughs )

A banded wooly bear moth.

Right.

And, uh, ugh, this one.

Yuck... a purple tiger beetle.

That one looks icky.

Mmm. I'm with you.

Are you sure you want to go through with this?

You asked me what Harvey likes,

and that's what Havey likes: bugs.

Bugs.

Okay.

Onward.

This one.

A 17-year... clicida?

No, not clicida-- cicada.

Cicada.

Right.

And this one.

That's a watch.

Right again.

And time for you to go to bed.

You don't know how much I appreciate this, Mom.

Oh, that's okay.

That's what mothers are for.

Hey, how's everything in Bug City?

It's heaven, Dad.

Simply heaven.

I take it everything went well, huh?

Oh, and very educational, too.

Well, do you know the difference

between a male peach tree borer

and a female peach tree borer?

No. I haven't the slightest idea.

Lucky for you

you're not a peach tree borer.

Hey, thanks for the hobby idea anyway.

Yeah, well, I did it under protest,

and I still don't think we should meddle.

Oh.

What's that?

Oh, that's Greg.

Helping Marcia's cause.

What's he doing out there?

Collecting bugs.

MIKE: Collecting bugs?

CAROL: Mm-hmm.

How did you get him to agree to do a thing like that?

Well, I just explained to him Marcia's problem,

and the fact that,

you know, she is his sister,

and that it is his duty to help her...

How much you pay him?

Only ten cents a bug.

Is anybody sitting here?

Hmm?

May I sit here?

Mmm.

Nice day, isn't it?

Mmm.

Well, of all things--

a lateral femarata!

Where? Where?

Right there.

It's an absolute perfect specimen.

You can have it if you like.

I already have one.

Gee, thanks.

My name's Harvey Klinger.

I'm Marcia Brady.

You're the first girl I ever met

who knew anything about bugs.

I collect them.

You do?

Say, aren't we in the same English class?

I don't know.

I sit in front.

What's that you're reading?

The Wonderful World of Insects,

by Professor G.T. Hardgrove.

That's my favorite book in the whole world.

( bell ringing )

Fourth period bell.

Yeah.

Can I walk you to class?

Okay.

Mom! Mom!

You'll never, never, never, never, never guess

what happened to me.

Well, I'll take a stab in the dark.

What happened?

Harvey Klinger walked me home.

No. Oh, Marcia,

that's wonderful.

The bugs worked!

And that's not all.

He asked me to go steady with him.

I said yes, if you say yes.

Can I, Mom, please?

Well, um...

I'll speak to your father about it.

Oh, musca domestica, I love you.

What?

That's the common housefly.

Go steady?

Go steady.

Steady there, Mrs. Brady.

Oh, I wanted Harvey Klinger to like her,

but going steady is something else.

I know what you mean.

You expected her to just go wading,

not dive right in from the 20-foot board.

Oh, Mr. Brady warned me not to interfere.

You'll have to tell him.

If he hears it from Marcia, it'll be much worse.

Yeah, that's right.

I wouldn't worry too much.

He's a reasonable man.

He is, Alice.

But as a favor, would you tell him on my day off?

Good-bye, Mom.

Good-bye, honey.

Good-bye, Alice.

Bye, Mom.

Bye, Alice.

Bye, sugarplum.

Good-bye, Mom.

Bye, Mom. Bye, Alice.

You didn't tell me, Mrs. Brady.

Was Mr. Brady very upset

about Marcia going steady?

Oh, not at all.

Oh, good.

I, um... didn't tell him yet.

Oh.

Well, he worked late last night

and, by the time he came to bed,

I'd already gone to sleep.

I see.

But I'm going to tell him this morning.

Maybe I'll tell him after dinner.

I'll fix his favorite dish.

Chicken.

Right, chicken.

I didn't mean the dish. I meant you.

All right, no more stalling.

I'll face the music.

I'll go tell him now.

Want to come with me?

Thanks just the same.

I'm no good at duets.

Mike?

Yeah?

Oh, it can wait.

If you're too busy, I'll come back later.

Honey, I'm just getting dressed for work.

I do that from time to time.

Yeah.

What's on your mind?

Mike...

Mmm?

You're an open-minded man, right?

( chuckles ): Right.

And flexible...

Oh, very.

I mean, you're not the type of man

who would ever say, "I told you so."

Carol, just what are we talking about here?

Well, that rare gift you have

for being fair, impartial, unprejudiced.

You left out courteous, faithful and true.

Yeah, those, too.

What do I get my merit badge for?

For being understanding

when I tell you that Marcia wants to go steady

with Harvey Klinger.

Would my striped tie look all right with this?

Did you hear what I said, Mike?

Marcia wants to go steady with Harvey Klinger.

So what?

Going steady, school dances, a movie, a soda.

Doesn't mean a thing.

You don't think so?

No. Honey, listen,

going steady today isn't the same

as when we were 13.

Oh, I'm so glad you're not upset.

Upset? Fair, impartial, unprejudiced Mike Brady?

Oh, I absolutely love you!

I really do.

You do, huh?

That's good to hear.

You know, after we're married a few years,

I may ask you to go steady.

This is a very unique specimen of drosophila.

Really the common fruit fly,

but with the unique habit of living in vinegar.

Gee, Harvey.

Gosh!

Sickening. Positively sickening.

Hi, Greg.

Hi, Mom.

Are Marcia and Harvey still in the kitchen?

Are they? Yech!

This hairy one's called the snout beetle.

It's lovely.

So close to the weevil family, yet so different.

Hi.

With its offset eyes and its many-jointed antennas.

Gee, Marcia, you really know your bugs.

What a sweet thing to say, Harvey.

Honest, Mom, that Harvey is buggier than his bugs.

You said it.

"Do you know the hairy beetle has offset eyes?"

"Why, naturally.

And a drosophila lives in vinegar, my dear."

"Oh, how thrilling, Harvey."

"Gosh, Marcia."

Come on, you two. Scoot.

Offset eyes?

What's so funny?

Private joke.

Okay.

How goes it, kids?

I think that's fascinating.

Carpenter ants really nest in dead trees?

You'll have to take my word.

I couldn't bring a dead tree with me.

Well, I'd never doubt your word, Harvey.

This one's a queen.

No wings, you'll notice.

I noticed that.

She pulled them off herself.

Though why? Why?

One of the eternal mysteries of the insect world.

How about a piece of fruit, Harvey?

Some milk and cookies?

Harvey, how about a bug sandwich?

You say something, Mr. Brady?

I thought that'd get you.

Hi, we need another guy for basketball?

I'm not a guy!

I'm a girl, an older girl.

Since when?

Since I started going steady

with Karvey Klinger

and I no longer play kids games.

What are you doing up here?

You're supposed to be helping us.

Yeah. Dusting the living room.

And sweeping the kitchen and patio.

Dust makes my eyes red, which is very unbecoming

to a woman going steady.

Oh, well, then just sweep.

It would ruin my feminine posture.

JAN: You're only 13.

You're not old enough yet to have a "posture."

What do you need false eyelashes for?

That one looks like a seesaw.

It makes me feel womanly, glamorous.

That's why women wear perfume

and eye shadow and lipstick.

Makes you attractive to a man; beautiful and exotic.

It does?

Well, I might as well be beautiful and exotic.

Me, too.

Lovely, lovely.

Isn't that just absolutely...

lovely.

My goodness.

Just what do you think you're doing?

Just girl talk, Mom.

How do I smell?

Like you need a long, hot bath.

And right now.

What about me, Mom?

How do I look?

Oh, Cindy, I know your mouth is there someplace.

Try some soap and water

and see if you can find it, okay?

I was experimenting with the eyelashes, Mom.

Going steady is one thing,

but wearing false eyelashes is out.

Out?

A lot of girls my age wear makeup.

Well, I'm sorry.

That's their mothers' problem, not mine.

Now, off they come.

Ouch!

Like Harvey says...

"Parents just don't understand our generation."

Marcia, I understand it better than you think.

I've already lived through your generation.

But things have changed since you were my age.

Only times have changed, sweetheart.

People haven't.

But they have!

You know what Harvey says?

A girl my age is like a 20-year-old used to be,

and a boy of 14 is like 22.

A girl of 13 is like 20 and a boy of 14 is like 22?

That's what Harvey said.

Oh I should have listened to you

Mike and not interrefered

Well I don't like the way its changing Marcia

On the other hand

Maybe Harvey has a point!

What?

I mean we are understading

modern parents

We have to be open minded and fair about things, right?

What's got into you?

Well, if Harvey is 22 and Marcia is 20,

then that's the way they ought to be treated.

If that's what Harvey says.

( doorbell rings )

Hi, Mr. Brady.

Hi, Harvey. Good to see you.

Come on in.

Come on in. Sit down.

Make yourself at home.

Marcia's running a little late for her date,

but that's a woman for you, huh?

Yes, sir. That's a woman for you.

What we men put up with, huh?

Yes, sir. We men.

Yeah.

You two doing the town tonight, huh?

Kind of taking it easy tonight-- just a soda.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

You know, Harvey,

I wasn't too sure about you and Marcia going steady

at first,

but, as you say, she's like a woman of 20 used to be,

and you're like a man of 22.

Yes, sir.

I think that's the way you ought to be treated

I mean your not a kid now

your practically an adult

yes sir!

And ready to face the

responsibilities of life

yes sir!

Harvey, what are your plans for the future?

The future?

Mm-hmm.

Well, uh, next week, I'm going to get a new front tire

for my bicycle.

No, no, Harvey.

I mean for work or a home or... some kind of retirement plan.

Well, uh, before I retire,

I have to get out of junior high school.

Oh, yeah.

Hi, Harvey. I'm ready.

Swell. Uh, let's go.

Oh, listen, no need to rush, Harvey.

Um, Marcia, I was just talking about you two.

What about me?

I was just saying that I think

it's a big responsibility

to be going steady,

and I'm pleased that Harvey here

is taking it so seriously.

Seriously?

CAROL: That's good to know.

Before you know it, Harvey,

you'll be out of high school,

out of college, going to work,

and hearing those wedding bells.

Wedding bells?

What wedding bells?

Yours and Harvey's-- the two of you.

Hand in hand, forever.

Me and Harvey?

Just like your father and I.

Mm-hmm.

We'd better get going, Harvey.

Yeah.

If you'll excuse us, sir?

Oh, sure. Of course, Harvey.

Listen, it's nice having this talk with you, okay?

That's okay.

Yeah.

Good night, Mom.

Good night, Dad.

What was that all about?

Look, Marcia, I don't think I'm ready to be 22 yet.

That's not what I meant by going steady.

Me neither.

Maybe we could go steady just once a week.

Yeah. That's steady enough.

Still want that soda?

Sure. But let's hurry and get right home.

Kids our age need lots of sleep.

Mom, Dad, this is Lester.

Hi.

Hi, Lester.

Hi.

Kitchen's that way.

Isn't he neat?

Whatever happened to Danny?

Yeah, and Harvey Bugs?

Harvey turned out to be a drip.

And Danny was dull.

So was Alan.

I'm going steady with Lester this week.

Oh, good.

See you later.

Oh, that's a nice age.

Yeah. Any age is a nice age.

( growling ): Even ours.