Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group ♪

♪ Must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Now, higher. Higher.

Mike, I think that's high enough.

I got a close-up, honey. Smile.

Hi, everybody.

CAROL: Hi, Greg.

How's it going?

Hey, Mom, we've got a history teacher

like you wouldn't believe.

Is that bad or good?

She wants us to be creative.

We're supposed to study the early colonies,

and then think up some interesting way

to tell about it.

A kind of report?

Yeah, sort of. One kid's going to write a play about Salem,

and another's going to build a model of Plymouth Settlement,

and another's going to paint a picture.

Say, that is groovy. She sounds like a good teacher.

She is, Mom.

What are you going to do, Greg?

I don't know yet.

Say, your camera.

Suppose I could use your camera?

For your report? Well, if you be careful with it.

Yeah, I'll make a movie about the Pilgrims.

Now, that'll really be different.

A movie!

Say, Mike, that's a great idea.

I bet I get an "A" for it.

An "A" movie? Does that mean

kids can see it without their parents?

Mike?

Hmm?

Did you know that Plymouth

wasn't actually the first stop

the Mayflower made in the New World?

Yeah. They stopped at the tip of Cape Cod

for fresh water.

Greg told me, too.

Good night, honey.

Mike?

Mm-hmm.

You know, Greg is simply devouring history.

I think it's wonderful.

Mmm.

Well, I wish there were more.

Hmm?

Teachers like that.

Mm-hmm.

Writing plays, painting, making movies.

Kids are bound to learn more.

Mmm.

Good night, dear.

( softly groans )

( typewriter keys clacking )

( whispering): Mike!

Honey, now what?

I hear something.

( carriage return sliding, roller moving )

That sounds like a typewriter.

At this hour?

( typewriter keys clacking )

( typewriter keys clacking loudly )

Greg.

Oh!

What are you doing up?

Oh, I'm working on the screenplay

for my movie.

What, now?

Well, I'm too excited to sleep.

Besides, my mind works best

at this time of night.

Oh, good. When you get a little older,

I'll send you to night school.

Hit the sack, huh?

Okay. I'm stuck here anyway.

Hey, wait a minute.

What?

I got an idea for that.

How's that?

What's going on here?

Greg's writing his screenplay.

Greg is?

What do you think of that?

Well...

No, no, no. Uh-uh. No.

No, I think the Indian chief

should definitely say, "I come in peace."

MIKE: Aw, that's not the way they talk

in the movies.

You've got to have

a lot of "ughs" and "hows."

Oh, that's corny, dear.

ALICE: Hey, how about this?

A bush noiselessly parts,

and the painted face of a red man peers stealthily

through the leaves.

Indians are always doing that in movies.

Yeah, Alice, that isn't bad.

Hey, hey, that's a great way

to start the whole thing!

Dad, I... Excuse me, would you, Greg?

I'll just type it right in here.

Dad...

Well, if nobody minds,

I think I'll go to bed.

Hey, Mike, will you put that in How's that?

about "I come in peace"?

"Samoset says...

That's my line, Alice: "I come in peace." "I come in peace."

You've got to paint the lines straight.

CINDY: Is mine good?

GREG: Looks fine, but make it look real.

Wow, you sure are a bunch of busy little beavers.

Hey, what's this?

That's the stock.

We put criminals in it.

They get nothing but bread and water.

And splinters.

I borrowed it from school

along with some other props.

Say, this looks like the real thing.

Is this how it was in the olden times?

Exactly.

Like when you were a little girl?

Bobby, your mother wasn't born then.

Well, Alice?

Neither was I!

Did you wash your hands?

Yeah see?

Say what's taking Bobby so long?

I don't know.

I haven't seen him.

Well go call your brother...

Bobby!

I said go call him.

Not scream for him

I couldn't have done that

(screams)

Hey that's Bobby!

Help! Help!

Coming!

Let me outta here!

Do it the other way

Just a minute honey.

How did you get stuck in there?

I don't know?

If I knew I wouldn't have.

Hold still sweatheart

I'm holding mom.

Mom I tell ya that's the wrong costume

Well dear, why don't you let

me finish it before you reject it

They didn't wear stuff like that

in pilgram days.

Only black and white

Oh, it's ashame to dress the

girls in black in white when your using color film.

Hi everyone.

Hi dear.

Careful with the pins.

I don't want to get stuck.

Hey!

That's one of the pilgram costumes, very nice!

It's nice but not a pilgram

they only wore black and white.

That must of been the orange in a basic black.

(laugh)

Yeah, and let's leave it that way

Yeah... well I think you can

stretcha point in the movie

I for one don't believe all things

Charles Hestings does.

( knocking )

We're busy.

Well, I just wanted to give you

your parts in the movie.

Oh, I want to be Priscilla!

Sorry, Jan. I'm going to be Priscilla.

I said it first.

I'm Priscilla.

I want to be a Priscilla, too.

Now, wait a minute. I'm the director, and...

( all arguing )

Knock it off, everyone!

Now, then, the part of Priscilla...

Greg, you might as well know: if I'm not Priscilla,

I'm not going to be in your dumb old movie!

Me, either.

Me, either, either.

Oh, come on.

Well, am I in or am I out?!

Well, look at me, too!

Oh, boy!

( arguing )

( whooping )

Hey, you guys, would you come here for a minute?

Gotcha!

Finished?

Yeah, I guess so.

Good. I want to give you your parts in the movie.

Good. I want to be an Indian. Me, too.

You're gonna be John Alden, and you're Myles Standish.

Was he an Indian?

He was a Pilgrim.

I want to be an Indian!

You listen to me-- I'm the director,

and I say you're both gonna be Pilgrims.

Indians! Indians!

( whooping )

I can't wait to tell Greg's history teacher

what a wonderful idea her assignment was.

I don't know how she'd react to that.

Right. Teachers are used to getting

nothing but knocks these days.

Here comes Mr. DeMille now.

Hey, Greg, listen.

I got a great idea

for that "hard winter" part.

Yeah. Me, too.

Hey, look. I wrote mine down.

Later.

Greg?

Yes?

Something bothering you, son?

Yeah, I'll tell you what's bothering me.

It's Priscilla and the Indians.

All the girls want to be Priscilla,

and all the boys want to be Indians.

Well, you're the director.

Who do you want to be Priscilla?

Jan. But Marcia won't be in the movie

if she's not Priscilla.

Jan?

Do you think she's ready

for a romantic role?

Well, I think Marcia...

I was thinking about myself.

You?

Sure. Speak for yourself, Alice.

After all, I played the part

at Pilgrim Festival at P.S. 34 in '43.

Or was that P.S. 43 In '34?

Why don't you solve the problem?

Let your mother play Priscilla.

With Bobby as Myles Standish?

( chuckles )

Well, your father was only trying to help, Greg.

I don't want any more help.

I'm getting helped right out of everything I want to do.

I want to write my own screenplay,

design my own sets,

choose my costumes and pick the actors.

Don't you see? It's my project.

It has to be my work.

I'm the only one who gets graded on it.

And if I can't do it, then the movie's off.

And that's what it is-- off.

Greg...

we're sorry.

We were just trying to help.

I know, Dad.

I'm sorry I popped off like that.

You have every right to pop off.

Even at your pop.

It's your project,

and you should make your own decisions.

You handle it any way you want,

and we'll do whatever you say.

Thanks, but the other guys don't want to do it my way, so...

Not anymore,

'cause I'll pass the word that you're the boss.

And you'll all do whatever I say?

Our mouths will be closed.

Right.

GREG: Now, don't forget-- when I say "action," you start.

When I say "cut," you stop. You got it?

Okay, everybody in their places

ready to start. PETER: Ready.

Priscilla, how do you...

Peter, Peter, not yet.

You said start. Didn't he say start?

You said start.

But you don't start

till I say "action." You got it?

Okay, everybody?

Ready and...

action!

Priscilla, how do you like the New World

and living in the...

New settlement.

...in the new settlement

with spacious skies

and amber waves of grain,

purple mountains, majesties and fruited...

above the fruited plains?

Greg, Greg...

Cut.

Come on, Dad, and I thought

I was supposed to do this for myself. Listen, Mike,

why don't you let Greg do it for himself?

Yeah, Dad. Come on, Dad.

Dad, that's not fair.

Yeah, come on. Yeah, Dad.

This time I insist.

This time you have got to do as I say

or no movie.

All right, Dad, let's hear it.

Son, if you are going to make a movie,

before you shoot the scene

you have to take the cover off the lens.

( cracking up )

Dumb, dumb.

Action.

John Carver.

Cut!

That was great, Alice.

That was really great.

Now, listen, in our next scene,

we'll first see the Indians.

Indians?

Do you guys know what you're supposed to do?

We attack the fort.

Yeah. Attack the fort.

No. You're friendly Indians.

You come in peace.

We don't attack?

No. Now, Alice...

Couldn't we attack the fort

and then make friends?

Greg does not want an attack.

Then what do you need Indians for?

Dad?

Bobby, the Indians were friendly at first.

They didn't start fighting

until their land was taken away.

You mean, the Pilgrims took away all the Indians' land?

That's right.

At first, they didn't take much of it.

Then how about not much of an attack?

There's no attack!

Alice...

when they first come over

you don't know they're friendly or not

until they hold up the "friendly" sign.

Check, check. And then I duck out and make my change

while the rest of the Pilgrims greet them.

That's it. Great!

Okay, places, everyone!

Mom, mom, over here. Yeah, the butter, right?

You'll be with the butter, right--

up and down, churning it--

and, Dad, you're chopping the wood,

and try not to look conspicuous.

Okay, everybody ready?

And...

action!

Now you see the Indians.

Now you see they're friendly.

Come on, Indians, come on.

How!

Me Samoset!

Me Squanto!

Oh, I say,

I'm awfully glad to see you.

Governor John Carver here-- Pilgrim.

I say, everyone, they're friendly Indians.

Bring them beads and trinkets.

CAROL: How, friendly Indians!

ALL: How.

CAROL: Oh, nice feathers!

( all talking at once )

Oh, I say, look at all the friendly Indians!

Cut!

( laughing )

What did I do wrong?

Oh!

That's what I did wrong.

Now this is the hard winner

scene with the snow

Right!

Here...stop the snow!

Don't start the snow until I

say "snow"

I was just showing them, isn't it neat!

Yeah! Yeah!

Alright now everybody pay attention

Will you pay attention?

Sure.

Now come on, really!

All right, now, when this starts

Say what are these?

They are corn flakes

White corn flakes?

we sprayed white paint on them

a dozen boxes

And a couple of bags of mash patato flakes

Corn flakes and mash patatos?

It's an expensive snow storm

Pretty fatning too!

Comn' everybody!

Pay attention!

Alright now it snows

Not yet!

You said snow!

But I didn't mean snow, I--

Look, alrigh --

the Pilgrims are standing around the stockade.

Yeah. Right.

Now, you're all unhappy.

You're wondering why you ever came

to this new world. Yeah.

Oh, and, Dad, you're in the stocks.

Me in the stocks?

What'd I do to deserve to be in the stocks?

You stole food. Shamey, shamey,

shamey! All right, come on now,

The rest of you--

you're all going to look cold

and miserable and hungry.

Why don't we just eat the snowflakes?

Dad, this is supposed to be serious.

That reminds me. I've got lunch in the oven.

Oh, good.

What's for lunch, Alice?

Spaghetti and meatballs. Let's start here.

Oh, boy! Yummy!

KIDS: Mmm!

Come on, everybody,

let's get on with the show!

GREG: Peter!

Will you stop the snow?

Didn't you say "snow"?

I said "show."

Oh, boy!

Greg, calm down.

What's wrong?

I'm trying to make a movie, Dad.

Everybody wants lunch, except this guy.

He wants snow.

I said it. I shouldn't have said it!

I knew it, but I did.

Peter!

Hold the snow!

But Greg said...

Never mind. Hold it!

Um...

look, Greg, this has been a long morning,

so couldn't we just do this scene

and then maybe break for lunch?

Everybody take their places, all right?

Dad, you're in the stocks.

Mom, help him in there,

would you, please?

Sure. Okay.

Now remember, I want you

to be cold and miserable...

Yeah, we know. Cold, miserable and hungry.

And don't start till I say, "action."

Okay, now, get ready, here we go.

And action!

( shivering )

Oh, I'm miserable.

( shivering )

( moaning and groaning )

GREG: All right, snow!

Peter-- snow!

( shivering )

GREG: Snow!

It's stuck.

Well, fix it!

( groaning )

MIKE: Well, it's really finished.

You know, I never thought I'd see this day arrive.

CAROL: Oh, I think this is great.

Greg made titles, and even put his voice on tape.

Okay, are we ready?

ALL: Yes.

Peter, get the lights.

CAROL: Hurry up. And, kids,

please don't get in front of the screen.

Hold everything!

You can't have a movie without popcorn.

CAROL: Oh, Alice, you think of everything.

MIKE: Did you salt it?

Watch it! Hey!

GREG: Bobby, sit down.

CAROL: Yeah, stay in your chairs.

Bobby!

I'm sorry.

Here we go.

GREG: Wait till you hear

the narration and music I recorded.

( dramatic music playing )

( cheering and applause )

GREG ( on film ): It was September the 16th, in the year 1620

that the Pilgrims set sail from England for Virginia.

MIKE: Say, that looks pretty good.

ALICE: That looks real!

GREG ( on film ): They missed Virginia

because, in the middle of the Atlantic, they ran into storms.

CAROL: Aah!

MIKE: Quite a mishap for the Pilgrims!

GREG ( on film ): But they persevered and sailed on,

and finally they made it to the New World.

And, on a stormy day, they first set foot on Plymouth Rock.

December came, and it was very cold.

Why are we walking so funny?

It's slow motion.

That's very effective, you know that?

GREG: I put in some special effects

like in those real arty movies.

GREG ( on film ): And they didn't have much shelter, so they got sick.

( no audio )

CAROL ( chuckling): Oh, would you say

I overacted a little?

And then came a terrible snowstorm.

MIKE: Just call me "quiver lips."

ALICE: I'm quivering right back at you.

( laughing )

They got even sicker...

and sicker...

and sicker...

and sicker...

...and sicker.

( laughing )

Finally spring came, and so did the Indians...

and so did the Indians.

Squanto and Samoset.

CAROL: Yup. How! How!

The Indians amazed the Pilgrims by speaking some English.

And the Pilgrims made friends with the Indians,

and invited them to a feast.

Alice, you know what?

I think I like you better as Alice.

Thank you.

First they gave thanks for safely reaching the New World.

Then they ate...

...and ate, and ate, and ate, and ate and ate.

You look like Henry VIII.

I ate enough turkey.

( laughter )

Then, one day,

it was time for the Mayflower to sail back to England.

Captain Jones asked the Pilgrims who had survived

if any wanted to go back with him.

Not one of them did.

He reminded them of the storms and the Indians.

( no audio )

But they wouldn't go, so he split.

Sails into the sunset.

GREG ( on film ): And the Mayflower sailed,

leaving the Pilgrims to build a new country...

...which they did.

( "Yankee Doodle" playing )

Hooray!

( cheering )

Hooray!

Good. That's very good.

That was great.

Yay! Yay!

Mom? Dad?

What is it, Greg? What's going on?

That groovy history teacher gave me an "A" for the movie.

Congratulations. That's great.

She must have liked it, huh?

Well, she didn't think it was a great movie,

but she sure thought

I showed how tough it was to be a Pilgrim.

( laughing )

Hi, Mom, Dad.

Hi, honey. Hi, Gregory.

Dad? Something on your mind, son?

We're studying the American Revolution now.

Hey, that's a very interesting time.

Yeah. Hey, listen, I was thinking...

Now, if we hung a lantern on top of the roof,

it could look like the Old North Church.

You mean a movie about Paul Revere?

And the backyard-- it could become the Green at Concord.

Wait a minute, Greg.

And the front porch would make a great Boston Harbor,

and I could put a lighthouse in it...

Well, honey, I guess

if he could film the Pilgrims at Plymouth,

certainly he can film the ride of Paul Revere.

I know, but what happens next term?

What?

When we have to stage the whole Civil War.

Oh, bite your tongue.