Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group ♪

♪ Must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Well, there it is.

The future Don Drysdale residence.

You like it?

Gee, that's quite a shack.

Yeah.

Hey, I'll have to get some Saint Bernards

in case I get lost in there.

It's all right.

We supply a road map with every set of blueprints.

You know, baseball has been real good to me.

Mike, thanks a million.

Hey, Don, listen, there's another reason

I wanted you to stop by the house

instead of the office.

I wanted my boys to meet you.

Don't tell me I've got some fans left.

Are you kidding?

You better believe it--

especially my oldest, Greg, out there.

Ha! He thinks you're a combination

of George Washington, Neil Armstrong

and the guy who invented pizza.

( both chuckling )

Greg... somebody I'd like you to meet.

Can we do it later?

Greg.

I'm busy.

Don Drysdale?!

Wow!

Don Drysdale, wow!

Don, these are my boys, Greg, Bobby and Peter.

Hiya, men.

Boy, this is sure a big day for me, Mr. Drysdale.

Call me Don, okay?

Thanks, Don.

Can I call you Don, too?

You bet.

Thanks, Don.

Tell you what,

you call me Don, too, okay?

Thanks, Mr. Drysdale.

Don, you and Greg have something in common.

He's a pitcher, too.

I'm in the pony league.

Watch this slider.

Hey, that had good stuff on it.

Hey, you got a great motion there, you know it?

Look it.

On your slider, though, when you stride out

just kind of bend your back.

Make sure your back bends.

Get your arm and try to go right out there

in front of you. There you go.

Now, when you grip it,

get it right here like this, got it?

Here, you do it. There you go.

Oh! Gee, you showed me your secret slider.

I'll murder them Saturday.

You might be in the big leagues someday.

Me?

I don't know why not.

The Dodgers are always looking for a good arm.

I'm going to keep practicing, Don.

Thatta boy.

You know, you'll probably be a bonus baby, too.

( chuckles )

See you later, gang, take care.

BOTH: So long!

Did you hear what Drysdale said?

Big leagues.

Hey, Greg, you want to throw some more?

Dodgers.

BOBBY: Hey, Greg?

How about letting me pitch, Greg?

Bonus baby.

BOBBY: Let's play.

He's gone.

Yeah, gone.

Now let's do pas de bras.

Side... down.

You girls have some tape?

I want to stick this up on my wall.

Top drawer, left.

Who is it?

My pal, Don.

Don who?

Don Drysdale.

Who's Don Drysdale?

The man who discovered me, that's who.

Don't girls know anything?

The big "D," Don Drysdale.

( thudding )

How about a game of catch?

We're busy.

Yeah, how about helping us?

Take a chance at smashing my hand?

What are you trying to do, ruin my career?

What career?

Are you kidding?

These fingers are worth their waiting gold.

Since when?

You heard, he said one

of these days, I'd be in the big leagues.

He didn't say you would be

He said you might be.

He said would!

Might!

Would!

I heard might!

Well its not what he said.

The way he said it!

Now pitching for the

Los Angeles Dodgers

The National League strike out King

Lefty Brady!

How's that sound?

Great! Except for one thing!

You are right handed!

Well, I know!

But its a good name.

That's a good name.

Sure, but you got have a name

that looks good on

the sports page, like Bobo

or Duke!

Or Dizzy! Or Cat Fish!

That's the one!

Cat Fish?

No! Dizzy!

That really fits you perfect!

Just for that wise guy

when I'm pitching in the world series!

You're going to have to pay to get in!

( thudding continues )

Mike?

Hmm?

Wake up.

( thudding )

It's 5:00 in the morning.

I heard a strange sound.

Mm-hmm. What kind?

Well, it went ka-boom, ka-boom, ka-boom.

Kind of like Bela Lugosi wearing wet sneakers.

I told you not to watch the... horror movie.

Oh, yeah... maybe I did imagine it.

I'm sorry I woke you.

Good night.

You mean good morning.

( clanking )

There, you see? You heard it, too.

It must be that hot water heater acting up again.

No, it was definitely

a ka-boom, ka-boom, ka-boom.

When the heater acts up, it goes bloop-bloop-bloop.

It must be trouble.

I'll go see.

( exhales )

( clanking )

Greg?

Do you know what time it is?

Oh, sure, that's why I'm working out down here.

Did I wake you?

Oh, no, I've always wanted to rise before dawn

to greet the coming of a glorious new day.

Thanks a lot, Greg.

Listen, what is this sudden urge for muscles?

If a guy's got to pitch, he's got to be in shape.

I can't quarrel with that.

I got seven innings to go Saturday.

That's the spirit.

If you're going to do something,

you've got to give it all you got.

Right.

Yeah, well, there's just one thing:

There are some other people in this house

who don't have to pitch on Saturday.

There are others who can't afford to miss

one minute of their beauty sleep, like me.

She's right.

Okay.

( clanking )

GREG: I'll do my jogging now.

Dad? Mm-hmm?

What's the biggest bonus

any ball player ever got?

The biggest bonus?

( sighs )

Well, I seem to remember

that the Angels paid one guy about $200,000.

$200,000?

Man, oh, man!

Huh! What did I tell you?

I'm going to be loaded.

Oh, yeah? Well, listen, Bub.

Before you start spending all that money,

you better realize that out of a thousand young hopefuls,

only one makes it.

Oh, well, I'm not worried.

I'll be the one.

Do you mind? I'll just be a second. Oh, thank you.

That's okay, I'm just memorizing some important dates.

Oh, well, that's one nice thing about history:

You never run out of dates.

Yeah...

You know what real important thing happened in 1839?

1839? Well, uh... I'll take a stab at it.

Was that the year Samuel Morse

invented the telegraph?

I don't know about that.

But 1839 was the year Abner Doubleday laid out

the first baseball diamond.

Now, that really was a memorable event.

I'll say.

You know what happened in 1903?

Babe Ruth threw the first forward pass.

Oh, Mom, that was the year of the first world series.

It's all right here in this baseball encyclopedia.

You want me to explain the infield fly rule?

I don't think so.

But I would like to ask you a question.

Have you finished your homework yet?

I'll get to it.

Greg...

How about right now?

In a minute, Mom, in a minute.

Greg.

Mom, please!

He eats and sleeps baseball.

It's become an obsession.

Well, maybe he has gone overboard a little.

A little?

To him, American history

doesn't even begin until 1839.

1839?

The year Abner Holiday invented baseball.

( chuckles ): Abner Doubleday.

Oh, honey, I think Greg's acting fairly normal

under the circumstances.

What circumstances?

Well, the fact he's pitching for his team now.

A great player like Don Drysdale

pats him on the back.

That's the dream of every American boy.

Well... far be it from me to be un-American.

Hi, honey!

No, I appreciate your calling, Mrs. Pearson.

I'm just as concerned as you are.

No, it just isn't like Greg.

Believe me, his father and I will have a talk with him.

And we really appreciate your calling, Mrs. Pearson.

Right. Bye.

What's up?

I can tell you what isn't up--

Greg's grades this week.

That was one of his teachers.

I don't get that. He's always done real well.

Not this time.

Do you know he didn't even turn in his History assingment?

Yeah.

And when the teacher asked him

what the most important

victory was in American history

Do you know what he replied?

1969 the year the Mets won the penant.

(laugh)

Don't laugh Mike.

Greg?

GREG: Yes, Dad?

Can you come down here for a minute?

Well, he's a pretty levelheaded kid.

I think we can straighten it all out.

I hope so.

What is it, Dad?

( sighs )

Sit down.

Look, son, your teacher, Mrs. Pearson, called

and said you didn't turn in

your history assignment. True?

I didn't have time.

But you did have time to memorize the batting averages

of every player in the major league.

Well, that's important.

Your schoolwork isn't?

I'm going to be a baseball player.

They don't have to know anything...

Well, I mean, except for baseball.

Look, just the same,

you start hitting those books, right?

Greg, you're going to need good grades

to get into college.

College?

Who cares about college?

I don't even know why I have to finish high school.

I got a great career ahead of me in baseball.

Mike, are you sure we shouldn't have a talk with Greg?

Oh, honey, I'm sure he didn't mean what he said.

I don't think we have

a high school dropout on our hands.

I guess not.

Kids say a lot of things

they don't really mean.

Mom, Dad, can I ask you something?

Sure, any time. What's up?

Well, if Greg doesn't have to finish high school,

why do I have to finish junior high school?

And if Pete doesn't have to finish junior high,

why do I have to finish grammar school?

Well, I think we better have

that talk with Greg.

Talk about what?

MIKE: Baseball.

Oh, well, sure. What do you want to know?

Look, Greg, baseball is a great sport...

I know. All right, wait a minute.

But there are other things in life just as important.

Or even more important.

Yeah, look, you can go into baseball

if you're good enough,

but there's nothing wrong with going to college first.

What about guys like Joe DiMaggio?

Or Mickey Mantle or Yogi Berra?

Now, they never went and they did all right.

Greg, you can't pin all your hopes

on just one thing in life.

Right. It doesn't hurt to be able to do

several things well.

I know, that's why

I'm working on my hitting and fielding--

in case my pitching arm goes.

Boy, I sure am glad

I have a mom and dad who understand.

Oh, boy.

Me and my big mouth.

Well, nobody is blaming you, Don.

Well, it's just that I love the game

and I like to encourage the kids, that's all.

Oh, you encouraged him, all right.

Well, look, you name it and I'll do it.

I think right now Greg thinks that baseball

is just one big bed of roses, see?

Yeah, maybe you could make him realize

that there are a few thorns in it.

Hmm, a few thorns.

I tell ya, I've been stuck as much as anybody.

( chuckles )

Well, that's what we'd like to get across to Greg.

Great... let's go.

Hi, Mr. Drysdale.

I mean Don.

Hello, Greg. How are you, son?

Just great.

Guess what? I'm pitching today.

You know how he feels before the game, don't you, Don?

The old nerves twitching?

Oh, listen, I'll tell you.

When those butterflies start kicking you in the stomach...

I don't know. I can hardly eat the day that I pitch.

Not me. For breakfast, I had hotcakes

sausage and a couple of eggs.

Yeah, but I bet the jitters really hit you

when the fans start riding you, don't they?

Oh, and do they ride you.

You know, it's funny-- you're a hero one minute

and a bum the next.

You serve up a couple of home run balls, and...

I don't know, you feel you want to sneak out of the ballpark.

( sighs )

I'll bet that never happened to you.

Oh, many times.

I'll tell you, I used to keep a false beard

and dark glasses in my locker.

( chuckles ): Oh, wow.

Go on down, let's see something.

I guess being a baseball player

probably is more glamorous

from the bleachers, huh, Don?

Well, I'll tell you,

baseball isn't what it's all cracked up to be.

Look at me, 34 years old and my career is finished.

MIKE: Yeah, but you can do something else.

I mean, you went to college.

Well, that's true, but there's a lot of guys

that I broke in with, they're still in the minor leagues

trying to make a living.

Yeah.

MIKE: Well, I guess baseball

isn't all fun and glory.

Far from it.

Sitting up all night in broken-down buses.

Sometimes you get stuck in second-rate hotels.

Sleep all night with your arm packed in ice.

Oh, yeah, that's some fun and glory.

Yeah, well, that really makes you think,

doesn't it, Greg?

Yeah, it sure does.

Greg, take it easy, okay?

See you later.

Thanks, Don.

Thanks for everything, Don.

But you know, actually he told Greg

nothing but the truth.

Well, how did Greg take it?

Oh, he got the message.

Mmm. Good.

Boy, what Don said sure made me think.

It did, Greg?

Yeah...

I'm not gonna let those things happen to me.

Hey, good boy.

I'm gonna start right at the top.

None of that minor league stuff for me.

Well... what ab... what about the things he said?

The-the jitters and the pressure

and the aches and pai... the arm packed in ice.

Oh, heck, a cold arm isn't bad for all that money.

That's all you got out of the conversation?

Oh, no. He told me a lot of stuff

about buses and cheap hotels.

But he meant the guys who weren't good enough,

and I'm going to be a star.

Yep, they'll be lucky

if they get a foul tip off me today.

Somebody is riding for a big fall.

And I know who's going to be there

to pick up the pieces.

( blender whirring )

Hey, where are you going?

To our ballet lesson; it's Saturday.

Ballet? When you can see me pitch?

JAN: Hey, what's that?

Oh, it's a quick energizer

I got out of a health magazine.

What's in it?

Turnip tops and beet bottoms

and wheat germ and cod liver oil.

I think I'm going to be sick.

Mmm... delicious.

But I better not get too much energy at once.

You can have the rest of it if you want.

How's it look?

Aren't you going to wait for Dad?

Naw, I'm riding my bike over.

I'm going to get there early

in case there are any big league

scouts around!

As long as your not going to

be at the game,

I guess you can have it now!

Greg Brady

Why do I want your name for?

That's not just a name

It's an autograph!

Hang on to it, its going to be worth a lot of money some day!

Let's go kids!

We are moving out!

Dad, can I sleep on the couch tonight?

What's wrong with your room?

Nothing! But after the game today

It will be too small for

Bobby and me and that big head of Gregs!

( crowd cheering )

( crowd cheering and clapping )

How was the ballet lesson?

Wonderful-- you ought to come sometime.

Yeah, in my tutu.

In my case, better make that a two-two by four-four.

( chuckles ): Oh...

Greg...

Hi, Mom. Hi, Alice.

What are you doing home so soon?

They call off the game?

Can't a guy come home without a lot of questions?

Hi, honey.

Mike, what's the matter with Greg?

Is the game over already?

No, no.

Well, didn't he pitch?

Oh, yeah, he pitched, all right.

They clobbered him.

He couldn't get anybody out.

Yeah, they scored 12 runs in the first inning.

Then the coach gave Greg the hook.

Yeah, all right, boys, that's enough.

Come on, take this upstairs.

Was it really as bad as all that, Mr. Brady?

Oh, it was a massacre.

He was so cocky, he wouldn't listen to the coach,

and he really got his lumps.

Aw, the poor kid.

Well, it had to happen.

Mike...

I think you better start picking up the pieces.

Greg?

Greg.

Mind if I come in?

No.

Listen, um...

about the game today...

Who cares about a stupid old game?

Well, anybody can have an off day.

Come on, next time you'll mow them down.

There won't be any next time.

I've got more important things to do.

Do you really?

Who wants to travel around in old buses

and have to worry about being traded?

And butterflies in your stomach.

I'm never going to play that dumb game again.

( murmuring sympathetically )

You're going to go way overboard the other way.

Listen...

( sniffling )

Baseball is a great game.

But it's just one part of life.

There are other things important, too.

Come on.

Education is important.

Listening to people, like the coach...

Yeah.

You got to...

strike a balance of some kind.

But I thought you'd be happy if I gave up baseball.

No... no, no, listen.

Make it one part of your life...

for now.

Greg... not everybody can be a Don Drysdale.

All right, maybe you can.

But maybe you can't.

Now, in the meantime, you just go in there

and you-- you do the best you can.

I did the best I can.

And they clobbered me.

All right, yeah, they did, they did.

But that doesn't mean

they're going to do it the next time.

Right?

Maybe... maybe if I work some more on my slider.

Thatta boy. See?

And developed a change-up.

Sure, you can do that.

And improve my curve...

There's no reason you can't

if you work at it.

Boy, I'll get so good

some scout will come around

and offer me a bonus!

Why didn't you stop me, Dad?

Because I think you just proved

you're smart enough to stop yourself.

Come on, you want to play catch?

You mean it?

Why, sure... on one condition.

What?

Well, if any scouts come along,

they have to take us as a team.