Original subtitles

[music]

FEMALE SINGER: ♪ Don't you wish to think about it? ♪

♪ In here to please somebody

♪ I'm around and undercover

♪ Here comes trouble now

♪ And in my wicked ways

♪ I'll get you into trouble now ♪

♪ It's just so hard to behave

♪ Got to see another round now ♪

♪ I'm the one your mama told you ♪

♪ Avoid that one stranger

♪ The risk you can't afford, and here comes trouble now ♪

♪ Turnin' it up all night

♪ Got you feelin' all right

♪ Turnin' it up all night

♪ Got you feelin' all right

♪ Get you into trouble now

[music]

Describing my sex life.

My sex life is me

making other people's dreams come true.

Pretty active.

I probably fall somewhere in between

one night stands and long-term relationships.

I would describe my sex life

as extremely important to me, consistent.

- Choosy. - Our sex life is new

and very exciting right now.

Active, colorful,

a little bland sometimes.

I haven't gotten properly laid since, mm,

April of last year.

My sex life is a mom sex life.

So it's quiet, it's hurry-hurry,

and it's "Did-you-lock-the-door?"

Consistent.

Yeah. Active.

Yeah. I'm very happy with it.

I decided to bury some love crystals on a hike,

but it was a little too strong.

And now it's sea of dick,

and I can't even come up for air.

- I'm Solomon. - I'm Alison.

- I'm Ettie. - I'm Erin.

- I'm Ryan. - Alex. And this...

- And this... - And this...

And this is my motherfucking sex life.

That's like Valerie Cherish in "The Comeback."

[laughs]

[music]

GENEVIEVE: The Skirt Club is a private member's club

for women only.

It's intended for bi-curious, bisexual women,

or straight women looking for first-time experience,

would like to explore part of themselves

like not quite got to know just yet.

You're emboldened by your new experience.

There's some air of confidence around you.

You've accomplished what you secretly desired

and it feels liberating.

- Wow. - Oh, my gosh.

You did good. Fuck, this is amazing.

Wow.

I think this is gonna be our best venue ever.

Ever.

Should we check down this way?

People who are, like, gonna come and, like,

get ready and get their makeup, like, had, like,

to touch their makeup up. - Yeah.

This might be a good room for that.

When I started Skirt Club, you know,

one of the main drivers was that I, as a woman,

had bought a ticket for my boyfriend

to attend a sex party, a Swingers Club.

It was co-ed, it was mixed couples.

- Gorgeous through here. - Oh, check this out.

There's a couch in the bathroom.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

- Oh, my God. - GENEVIEVE: And...

it was his birthday present. We went there together.

Yet when I arrived, you know,

I was kind of manhandled a little bit,

treated, um, like most women are in society--

grabbed by the arms, slapped on the bottom.

How many do you think we could fit in this?

- Four. - Let's go for six.

- Maybe a five or... - [laughs]

I couldn't understand how, if I have paid

for the ticket to be there,

why I was been treated like a second citizen.

That--That first sparked my interest in,

I guess pulling things over to the other side,

the female side.

I wanted to experiment with how a--a party

in that scenario would look without men attending,

if women would behave differently.

And I can tell you, yes, they do.

[music]

TOPANGA: This could be a cute place to, like,

close all, like, close all of these

and then put the blankets here.

- GENEVIEVE: Yeah. - And maybe a few on the floor.

Right. I mean, it's a pay-- a perfect spot for perching.

- Yeah. Perfect spot for that. - You know--

you know what I'm talking about.

Pussy perch?

- Yes. - Let's do it.

- It's the Pussy Perch. - GENEVIEVE: I, actually.

TOPANGA: Exactly. Yeah.

- GENEVIEVE: Okay. - Mm-hmm.

Skirt Club has completely changed my life.

You know how I feel about grand pianos.

[laughter]

TOPANGA: I do. I really do.

When I first started, I was dating a guy.

Our relationship was kind of ending,

and I just wasn't feeling sexually fulfilled.

I think we do have some first-timers

and I think this is a lovely venue for them to be at,

just because they're gonna be able to feel

like so luxurious and well taken care of

because it's just so lux. - GENEVIEVE: Mm-hmm.

It'll just feel like home almost.

- Yeah. - Like a big, sexy home.

I am an openly bisexual woman

and when it comes to the day-to-day,

like, typically gay bars are for men.

So even if you're a woman in a gay bar,

you don't know if that other woman

is gonna want to-- want to be hit on.

So we don't want to-- want to cross any boundaries.

So I literally Googled "lesbian sex party,"

and Skirt Club was the first thing that came up.

I decided to be a member,

and it was like opening the door

into a whole other world.

Like, wow. This is breaking on through to the other side.

GENEVIEVE: You know, I really--I think

it's like 70% of our guest list

is, uh, first-timers for this event.

TOPANGA: Mm-hmm.

- Which isn't unusual. - No.

But it's, you know, our duty

to help them feel relaxed and comfortable and...

- Yeah. - ...make new friends quickly.

So-- - Mm-hmm.

...this is the right place to do that.

Yes.

It's a real hands-on experience.

[laughter]

It's important for women to understand

it's okay to explore your sexual pleasure.

I personally believe knowing what is your true desire

is part of our journey as human beings.

And so we all have a unique sexual self.

It takes time to get to know what that actually is.

So having a safe place to explore it is important,

especially for women

who don't normally find safe places.

[music]

LAUREN: I really feel like I've, you know,

I've met like the one I'm gonna spend my life with.

But at this age and this point in my life,

I just know that I have to be accepted as I am.

It's nonnegotiable.

I have to have a man and a woman.

I have to have both.

[music]

LAUREN: Some people have that perception

that being with a woman is cheating,

and then other guys just feel like, oh,

anything you do with a woman isn't cheating.

Like, it's sexier. It's a turn-on for them.

And then so you just,

you don't know what you're gonna get.

But I'm not gonna be with someone

who thinks that this is just like a, I don't know,

an extravagant thing that I need.

This is just who I am.

Like, there's things that I need

and things that I want and this is a part of that.

[music]

I'm a mother, I'm an author,

and I'm a bisexual woman.

Currently, I'm in a monogamous relationship.

He meets all those sort of traditional needs

I have from a man and what it feels like

to be a woman with a man.

But yet, the desire to be with a woman is--

it's an authentic part of myself.

Even my own partner didn't really know

what to make of it when we met.

He just--He had no context

to understand me being attracted to a woman.

I'll never forget when he first saw me with a woman,

just like touching a woman or kissing a woman,

and he said, "Wow.

Like, you like women the way I like women."

I'm like, "Yeah."

So I'm hoping that our monogamy

can also include me having a relationship with a woman.

It's "Walk On the Wild Side," the event.

So I think it has to be--

I think it has to be this one.

And I think...

it has to be...

I think it's gonna be this.

Skirts are sexy and sort of wild.

I think I have to wear a skirt.

It's better than pants because, you know,

easy access.

I mean, I'd love to meet someone at Skirt Club

to have a-- a sexual partnership

and--and emotional partnership.

And, you know, there's times where I'm with my partner

and I imagine I have two girlfriends

and--and then there's other times

where I imagine there's, you know,

a woman that just joins us in the bedroom.

And at other times I imagine there's a woman

that can join us in our life in some way.

And I don't know how it's all gonna come together

but I knew it's gonna come together.

So keys we're giving to women

that coming to Skirt Club for the first time.

So that the other woman can see

who is first-timer and who's not

and maybe they can start a nice conversation

or share a nice story with each other,

like a--like a pick-up line.

"Oh, it's your first time, huh?"

GENEVIEVE: What still drives me

is that Monday morning after an event,

guaranteed there'll be at least one email from a woman

to tell me how much her life has changed.

It's amazing that we can provide that.

[music]

Imagining what it's like for a first-timer

attending an event,

she's obviously very nervous,

really unsure about how this evening might go.

Leaves the house, maybe slightly trembling,

and makes her way to the event.

She's wondering who she'll meet,

if she can make friends quickly.

So many questions

and so many different paths it could take you.

Arriving at the venue, I'm pretty sure

she'll reconsider actually attending.

She'll ring the doorbell.

And probably feel somewhat relieved

to see a smiling face

and many women there to greet her.

And then making friends for the first time,

women who think similar to you that you've never met.

[chatter]

- Hi. - I'm Lauren.

- Hi, I'm Romie. - Nice to meet you, Romie.

Nice to meet you, yes.

And Romie has made all her jewelry.

Ooh, that's fantastic.

[music]

- I'm Bella. - Hi, Bella. I'm Lauren.

- Lauren, yeah. - Nice to meet you.

I'm in that place where I've had a lot of experiences

and I know who I am.

I have this great partnership and looking for people

that fit in and work in my life.

And that, uh, just an authentic expression

of who I am and what I'm looking for.

Yeah, I heard about it from, uh, a client, actually.

She was telling me about it.

The thing I think is safe about Skirt Club

is the fact that, when women come in,

they feel a part of something.

They feel connected to the women around them.

And I've tried to date lesbian women,

and they're always like, "You're bi.

- Like, no thanks." And-- - Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

They're like, "Stay far away from me."

- Yeah. - "You're bisexual."

Yeah. Oh, I should show you some of the chats.

It's like an inquisition, sort of.

They're like, "So how many women have you dated?"

And like, "Were any of them serious?"

And, you know, I'm like, "Wow.

This is already-- it's not feeling very fun."

- Yeah, so like, yeah. - Okay.

SEREN: You go to a party where there are men involved,

and it's like the women are kind of like on their arms

and they're in their dresses, and they almost, like,

need to impress each other and they need to impress

the men around them.

And they're not as free with what they do

or they don't-- they don't fully embrace

playing with one another

because they're conscious of the men around them,

um, and that kind of male gaze.

STEPHANIE: I think Skirt Club is such a safe place

because it is highly vetted

for the people that are coming

and it's people that are all here for the same reason.

They're here because they're curious about their sexuality

and they want to be in a place

where other women are accepting of that.

So that's something I really enjoy about Skirt Club

is it--it's fun to just get to know women

that have that same thing that you do and are--

have a genuine interest and pursue it.

Well, cheers to us.

- Cheers to ladies. - Cheers, yes.

GENEVIEVE: Welcome to Skirt Club LA.

A delight to see you all here looking wild.

- Wow. - Woo.

There's some real claws out tonight.

Many of you have been before, but I'd love to know

who is here for the first time tonight.

Yes.

[cheering]

Can I see your little keys dangling in the air?

- Yeah. - Yes.

Where will you put that key tonight

when you get home?

Will you keep it somewhere safe?

Will you hang it on your bedpost

to remind you of what a wonderful time

you will have shortly?

[laughter]

Because you ain't seen nothing yet.

[laughter]

Exploration is everything.

The people you will meet,

you won't normally in bars or with your friends.

[music]

[cheering]

[music]

They're gonna meet people from all parts of life,

different circles, different professions.

People you don't normally cross into.

Um, but you'll be bonded by one thing,

this desire to explore your sexuality for yourself.

[music]

That, I think, is the most important thing

of Skirt Club.

Now, what happens after that, you know,

is that sexy time and two people get naked,

and all that kind of stuff.

I do believe that's what 80% have come for.

[laughs] So, um, yeah,

there's opportunity for everything.

Uh, I have my Skirt Club sisters right here.

Um, but they've been with me through the tests of time

from all over the world. - Oh.

You're not there with a partner,

you're not there with someone

who, um, you're concerned

about what they think of you,

what they think of what you're going to do,

what you're not going to do.

[music]

For your own pleasure,

most importantly, you know, it's--

I feel like it's a judgment-free zone

because everyone's there to get everyone off.

[woman laughs]

Salt, tequila, lime in that order.

You're going to lick the salt slowly from her thigh.

Mm-hmm.

You're going to down the shot,

and then you're going to kiss the lime

from her mouth. - Ooh.

Whoever has the lime at the end is the winner.

- Mm-hmm. - Simple rules.

Everybody please count with me on the count of 3.

3, 2, 1.

Go!

[cheering]

Go, go, go, go! Oh!

[cheering]

And slowly does it.

[cheering]

LAUREN: It's surprising how magical it is

to be with only women.

I realize that I never experienced that,

and, yeah,

I think maybe I've been aware of women in the room

and sort of felt that connection.

But to have a space where it's just women

and women who are really comfortable

with their bisexuality

feels really beautiful.

I know this is kind of-- I'm starving.

I think this is really good.

[screaming] [laughter]

- Ready? - Come on, get down.

How do we do three?

[laughter]

[laughs] Sorry. - Quick.

The thing I like the most about Skirt Club

is the energy of the sort of matrix holders.

There has to be a certain energy and certain people

to catalyze and create the sexuality of the space,

or else you just have a bunch of, like, fearful women

who are afraid to make the first move.

Are you all ready?

3, 2, 1. Go! - Whoo!

[cheering]

That was impressive.

[cheering, shouting]

[music]

Things feel so different now,

and you finally begin to understand who you truly are.

You understand that you are unique,

that your sexual self is still a journey to discover,

but that you are on that journey.

[music]

LAUREN: You're so pretty.

[woman laughs]

Such a pretty Orange County girl.

This is so, like, rippable,

like, I just want to rip it off of you.

It is torn a little bit.

So teasing.

- [laughs] - So unfair.

You're so smart, and you talk, you talk.

I was--I was, uh...

I just want to rip it off of you.

- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.

You're such a pretty woman.

- You are. - You are.

- You are. - No, you are.

[music]

LAUREN: There are so many beautiful women

that you sort of are like, "Which one should I approach?"

But I did connect with a woman, and that was pretty amazing,

and, you know, it--it's a mixed bag at the same time

because I'm looking for connection.

Like, I'm looking for, "Do you want to do this again?"

Not like, "Oh, I just want to hook up

and then, uh, cross that off my list."

Want to go get another drink or wander around?

I mean, I have this-- right here.

Yeah, wander around a little bit, like...

Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm gonna go do that, too.

And I'm gonna go see you, and I hope I find you again.

I don't know. We'll see, you know.

Bisexual women, they're-- I think they're challenging

to pin down in relationship.

But I have to say that, being here,

they've created a space that just--

that takes you into your sexy.

So, uh, it's a very special environment.

I plan on going to more Skirt Club parties

and exploring it more, for sure.

[music]

Skirt Club has helped normalize

bisexuality for women, full stop.

Uh, we have made a dent

in how people perceive women

who date both boys and girls,

and, um, I'm proud of that.

To just be themselves, their authentic selves.

It's their human right.

They should be able to express

without feeling ashamed or concerned

that people won't approve of them.

In the name of equality,

it's time to stand up

and just be free to be yourself.

[music]

Have I ever experimented with anal play

is like asking a gay man "Do you like brunch?"

Like, it's the most obvious question in the world.

Of course. - Some things are off limits.

I don't do anything in my ass.

However, I do enjoy giving a little peg.

It's amazing.

I mean, I've pegged three men in a day

before noon sometimes.

We haven't fully dabbled in anal sex yet.

I feel like that's the final frontier.

[laughter]

Well, I am a big fan of...

back door--[chuckles]--sex,

and he is not really into that.

And I'm like, "But you should try."

I think I will never, like, you know, it scares me.

You'd be very surprised

of how many men loved to be pegged.

I fucked a man in Waco in the ass.

It almost made me wish I had a real dick, almost.

It's just as fun to strap it on.

Every animal does it from the back, you know,

like, maybe, like, dolphins or something

don't do it that way, but, like, yeah.

They have sex like we do. - The exception.

Well, it's true. They're very smart.

Yeah, but, uh, yeah, it's cultural thing.

I guess that's the whole thing about it.

Can you get over that there might be poop somewhere

far up there that might be coming down

or it becoming poop.

The most important thing that I want Americans

to embrace about sexuality is loosen up.

Loosen the fuck up and have some fun

and, like, put something up your butt in a weird way

and, like, laugh about it and take a picture of it

and send it to your friends.

And just have fun because it's just sex.

[music]

Hello, everyone.

My name is Professor Rain DeGrey

and I am your resident butt expert.

I am here today to talk about butt stuff.

That's right.

Butts, we all have one.

Those glorious globes,

the junk in the trunk,

that delightful posterior.

A payload of pleasure that we are all sitting on

and most people are afraid to explore.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

I can hear you thinking it right now.

"But Rain, I'm scared to put something in my butt.

What if it hurts?

What if it's messy?"

You're worried your neighbors are gonna judge you.

First off, what you stick in your butt

is nobody's business other than you

and the person who's helping you

put things in your butt.

Humans have been sticking things up their butt

for as long as we've been on the planet.

We've just gotten better at it.

The toys have gotten better,

the lube has gotten better.

With the proper amount of care and foresight,

anal doesn't have to hurt.

It doesn't have to be messy,

unless you're into that sort of thing.

No judgment. I'm not German.

Join me today

on an exploration of butt stuff.

By the time I'm done with you,

you, too, can be safely and enjoyably

exploring the wonders of anal.

[music]

INDIANA: [giggles]

The first time I saw Evan,

he was on stage playing with his bands.

Evan is this confident force

who's like got a look and he's intriguing.

So I was like, "You never want to date me.

I'm pretty plain."

At least in my, I don't know, in my opinion, but, yeah.

I don't think so, no.

[vocalizing]

We got to get lyrics right there.

Yeah. I went up and I said hi to you after I got off

the stage that night. - Mm-hmm.

I really wanted to get to know you

in any kind of capacity at that point.

[guitar plays]

EVAN: One of the things I love about this relationship

is that we are extremely in tune

to each other's emotions, needs.

INDIANA: We have this magnificent

physical connection.

We're on the same level. - It's so passionate.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

I can say literally anything to her

and it's not gonna be responded to

with any kind of backlash or anything like that.

Just open arms and like, "Okay, let's talk."

[guitar music plays]

INDIANA: When it comes to sex,

my experience with anal play or anal sex

has just been very minimal.

I've wanted to try that.

I've wanted to pursue that in a way that's pleasurable

but, like, safe.

♪ And I'll drive you

♪ Crazy

♪ Yeah, I'll drive you wild

[laughter]

- I love you. - I love you.

When I think about Evan and I engaging in anal sex

and I'm on the receiving end,

it does bring this level of like a little bit of anxiety.

I trust you.

But it does make me a little nervous

because I know how big you are.

- Makes me nervous. - Yeah.

Yeah.

It's awkward to ask about sexuality.

And I am always so proud of any couple

that reaches out to me for coaching.

I like that you and I are taking this step to,

like, have that opportunity to talk to an expert.

- I do. - The two main issues

people have when it comes to anal play

is it being messy and it being painful.

Both of those issues are very easily addressed

with a little bit of preparation.

We want to be able to do this safely

while still maintaining like, you know,

that sexual energy and...

explore new things with you.

It's gonna be a really good step

in a direction we've talked about

but haven't had the opportunity to do.

Far as like me entering somebody,

I haven't really known anybody I ever felt confident with

or been confident in myself enough to engage in that.

We have the opportunity now to kind of change that,

I think, a little bit.

- Mm-hmm. - So I'm excited about that.

- Yeah. Me, too. - Oh, you missed.

[laughs]

[music]

Our body is the finest toy we will ever be given.

And most people are afraid to play with it.

[laughs]

As an advice columnist,

people get worried about being judged

and they're like, "Well, I'm gonna ignore

that part of me."

[music]

People are fascinated by anal play

for a multitude of reasons.

And when you go through your whole life with

"That's dirty, butts are embarrassing," fart jokes,

like, you get so much stigma attached around that.

So you take something that's forbidden,

you take something that is a little harder to acquire,

and it's also simultaneously very pleasurable.

That's the trifecta of awesome.

Rain seems like she's gonna be a wealth of knowledge,

and, uh, I know I'm gonna have a good time.

I hope that this is positive for you.

Yeah, I'm sure it will be.

I mean, I've been sticking a finger up my ass

since I was like 13, so... - [laughs]

EVAN: When I was younger and I was first

starting to pleasure myself,

I'd be in the shower for, you know, a couple of hours,

and I would--I would stick a finger up my ass,

and it felt really good.

And then I immediately felt ashamed of myself.

Shame.

[laughs]

Anal and butt play and stuff like that

is such a vulnerable place to be in.

You know, growing up in this society as a man,

I'm expected to not have anything done to me.

I was a man growing up in a very conservative town

with very conservative parents.

Literally, Dad said, "Don't ever be a cocksucker."

Anybody who is, you know,

exhibiting any kind of homosexual tendencies

was immediately shot down and shamed.

I feel kind of, I guess, not sad for you,

but I--I've always felt like it wasn't really fair

that you haven't had the ability

to experience something sexually

that you'd like to because it's just more taboo for men.

It's being talked about a lot now

with the buzzword toxic masculinity,

saying, "Oh, you can't be this and be a man."

The most manly thing that I've come up with

that you can do is not listen to other people

that are trying to tell you how to be who you are.

So if that means sticking a finger up my ass

and being proud of it, then so be it.

If that means she's sticking a finger up my ass

and I'm proud of it, so be it.

- It's gonna be fun. - Mm-hmm.

I glad I got my ass waxed.

[laughter]

Ooh, that's hot.

Oh, whoa, you're getting in there.

- Yep. - Oh, whew.

[laughs] Oh, ow.

I have--That's something I've never seen before.

[music]

INDIANA: I'm so excited.

It's a pleasure to meet both of you.

- Yeah. - Who's excited?

I think we're both really excited.

- Yes. Butt stuff. - Yes.

-I'm excited for both of you. - Yeah.

I'd be honored to give and receive in this--

in this situation, at least learn more about it.

Normally when you're hooking up with someone,

you don't have to put that much thought into it.

You can show up and you're good to go.

Anal is an activity

that requires a little bit more preparation.

You have to think about it.

You have to have some foresight,

and you have to get some supplies.

But in my opinion,

that preparation is totally worth it

because the payoff is so enjoyable.

When it comes to anal play,

the step that I'd like to cover,

step 1-- how to clean the butt.

[music]

When you start to do anal,

you don't want to be figuring out

how your colon works in the middle of sexy time.

- [laughs] - Salvador Dali

said something like-- I believe the line was,

"Pussies are bullshit, and--and butts are honest."

[water shower dripping]

We're anatomically designed

to have pleasure from the ass,

male or female.

It feels good. There's nerve endings there.

There's the prostate there.

If you're a female, through the wall of the anus

you can hit the G-spot.

It feels good.

Now, some people really get into enema play.

[laughs]

And they will do milk enemas, they'll do coffee enemas.

- Yeah, I've heard about that. - They will clean themselves.

I just use water, and I'm good to go.

Hey. Oh, I like those.

RAIN: Take the time to figure out

what is the process you need to clean out your colon.

It's all about relaxing.

It literally is a mindset

where you're having to retrain your brain.

If you have a clean ass and you are relaxed,

anal's a pretty feasible thing.

What is your opinion on, uh, on graduating plugs?

- I'm a huge advocate for it. - Okay.

I think they're an excellent idea.

Something like this.

- Whoo, boy. - And you're like, that's--

I admire people who want to tackle this.

And there are people-- "It's not me."

- However, this is possible. - Mm-hmm.

The truth is the average length of a vagina

is 3 to 5 inches.

And when it's aroused,

it can get up to 5 to 7 inches.

The interesting thing about the ass is

you have, like, 22 feet of colon.

I've seen people do squat thrusts

over a traffic safety cone.

You can get some size up there.

If you get that ass opened up and relaxed,

I have succeeded in double-fisting a man's ass.

I have never managed

to double-fist a woman's pussy.

Everybody's body is different.

Your ass can be trained.

And the more that you go on that journey

and the more you figure out how your ass works

and the more relaxed you get,

generally the larger you can get.

One of my pet peeves

is I hate seeing people

get sex education from porn. - Mm-hmm.

Because it's completely

unrealistic. - Yes.

You cannot look at porn

and think that's how people are doing it.

I don't look at the Olympics

and wonder why I can't do a five-point barrel jump

and land and not shatter my legs.

If you're gonna look at a porn film

and then go home and try and duplicate it,

and you're like, "I-I can't--

I can't fit it all in me."

Porn is as realistic as Tom Cruise movies.

The model has been sitting on a plug

for an extended period of time. - BOTH: Mm-hmm.

And they've put lube inside the hole.

What, like lube's not sexy?

Lube is sexy.

Use the fucking lube.

[laughter]

Use more lube.

We need to normalize using lube.

Oh, that's cold. [laughs]

- It's all right. - Oh, boy.

We'll leave that in the sunlight.

Once you take mess off the table,

what's the other thing that people are worried about?

- Pain. - The pain.

Pain. - Definitely.

The most important tip

that I can possibly give anybody--

breathe and relax.

The more tense you are and the more stressed you are,

the higher your chances

that you're not gonna have a fun time.

Find your Zen about anal.

Breathe and relax.

So how do we avoid pain?

We avoid pain by romancing the butthole.

You need to woo the butthole.

[laughs]

How is it for you?

- It's nice. - Really?

I feel you're reacting to it.

And, I mean, obviously this feels great physically.

[gasps]

I don't know how far into it we're gonna get.

It's not just about the anal sex,

it's about the pleasure all around.

Do either of you have any questions for me?

I have so many questions. Um...

- Bring them. - All right.

It's one of the misconceptions that I know

that are out there-- men will go to,

I guess, jackhammer their partner.

Is in and out the thing that we do here,

is it just in or is it just slowly or--

I always describe the sphincter

as the bouncer for a very exclusive club.

[music]

The hardest part is the initial insertion.

- Mm-hmm. - Geez, that feels--

I mean, it's good.

It's just strange.

[gasps]

- Yeah. - But nice.

Nice, strange--Oh, boy.

Baby, don't go all the way back out.

Once you've gotten past that bouncer,

you're good to go.

Oh, it's cold.

Nothing has prepared me for how cold that is.

Oh.

Where you undock and redock,

undock and redock

is where you're increasing your chances of damage.

I always advocate that once you're in,

you're just sliding back and forth with it.

- Mm-hmm. - I always describe anal

as a five-course meal.

Lube has happened,

prior stretching has happened,

cleaning has happened.

You can't just bust in willy-nilly

and hope it all works out.

Well, you can,

but that's a much higher chance

of things going wrong.

You have to prepare for it

to ensure that things do not go wrong.

Oh, stay relaxed.

I'm trying.

Lots of breathing.

Yeah.

Do you trust me? - I trust you.

If we get to the point where I'm comfortable enough

to actually receive you,

and that's 8 1/2 inches,

and that's a lot.

Like you try to tell me, push up.

And push.

Oh.

If we're able to get to that point,

I think that that's possible,

and I'd like that to be the case.

But if it's not, that's okay, too.

I'm more in this to have another avenue of pleasure,

and it doesn't necessarily have to be, you know,

to the point of orgasm.

[laughs] How was that?

- I-I like it. - Yeah?

It's gonna take maybe some time.

Of course.

Before I could do that again.

Yeah, nervous butthole.

It does do that. I do.

I counsel people all the time.

Just start off with a finger.

If you just take your finger on the outside

and you just start knocking on the door,

"Oh. Oh, hold on a minute.

That's actually kind of marvelous."

Hey, baby, I really want to try.

In the context of doing things,

analing, and then to a man?

That is a whole power dynamic

that I am still kind of wrapping my head around.

I don't ever try to get inside an ass

until I've managed to get all three fingers in.

When you get all three fingers in,

stop, wait.

- Do you believe in me? - I do.

- I believe in you. - I trust you.

You can actually feel as the ass starts to relax

and realize it doesn't have anything to be scared of.

- Mm-hmm. - Male or female,

when you can feel the ass start to relax,

that's when I like to make a little "come hither" motion.

- Mm-hmm. - Coochy, coochy-coo.

Come here, you. Come here.

And whether the prostate or the G-spot,

they're going to respond to that.

[laughs] It does tickle.

I told you it tickles.

- Yeah. - You were warned.

There's a lot of responsibility,

and I feel the weight of that,

but it's a very powerful feeling

to have that, yeah.

- Oh, whoa. [laughs] - [laughs]

Oh, I felt that. All right. Um...

This is that? This is the come hither.

I'll stop. - All right.

I do think that anal play would be able to give me an orgasm.

The male G-spot or the prostate is in there.

I'm very aware of it.

It's much better. I can feel you tense.

The advice that I would give any couple

that hired me for coaching is communicate,

negotiate, own your awesome.

Let go of the fear and the guilt

and the anxiety.

Explore your body.

Find out what works for you.

There's only one thing left to do, my friends.

Go forth and fuck.

Thank you so much.

It's been a pleasure. - My pleasure.

- Lovely meeting you. -Thank you. Thank you.

You're very feisty. I like it.

- You go first. - All right.

[laughs]

You don't have to do anal.

It's not the mark of a cool kid.

You should never be pressured

to doing something you don't enjoy.

But sometimes,

the things that we enjoy sneak up on us.

There's so much pleasure associated with your body,

and I just want to have more people access that pleasure.

It's a noble cause through the power of butt sex.

INDIANA: I'm just excited to have, like,

another tool in our tool belt. - EVAN: Mm-hmm.

Just another thing that we can do

to help each other achieve

some amount of pleasure and passion.

- Yeah. - And I think it's gonna be

really beneficial in that way.

[laughter]

I trust you, I trust some of the knowledge we've gained,

and I trust that we'll continue that journey as we see fit.

Bottom line, end of the day,

all I want to do is love this woman.

- Oh. - In every way possible.

Mm. You're my favorite person.

Oh, you're my person.

See? I told you.

It's not so bad.

Now that you're a little bit more...

opened up to the concept,

I want you to go forth

and stick something up your butt.

That's your homework assignment.

Enjoy.

[music]

I think about sex all the time.

I've been thinking about it this whole time.

Uh, well, not with you,

but, uh, you know, I'm a guy.

You know, I think about sex all the time.

From the moment I wake up,

all I can think about is ass.

Literally, that's what keeps me hungry throughout the day.

Yeah, I did think about having sex when I was married,

but it was more like how can I get out of it.

I am a bit of pervert in my head.

I think about sex a lot throughout the day.

It's like there's like a devil on my shoulder

that's just like, "Sex, sex, sex."

Sex thoughts are kind of just filtered

and woven in between everyday life.

Is it healthy? I think so.

I'm currently single,

and I sometimes feel like a 14-year-old boy some days.

I'm totally distracted in my head.

We're humans. We're sexual creatures,

so it's throughout the day.

Everything is sort of sexual to me.

That's just the concept in my life.

I'm thinking about it right now.

I think I think about sex

even when I'm not thinking about sex, you know?

Like, sex is just the thing.

Like, it is literally the reason I'm alive.

I think about it all the time.

I'm, like, grateful for fucking.

[music]

SOVEREIGN: I think that I want to do

some girl-girl content again.

RAE: Wait, wait, more forward. Yeah.

Here we go.

Oh, that's really good.

Look at-- Look in each other's eyes.

Ream me out from behind like a real fucking champion.

[laughter]

RAE: There we go.

Now both of you just look at me.

Don't have too much fun, fun.

Are you ready to fuck?

ALL: Yes.

SOVEREIGN: I think the bed should be like in the center.

RAE: Yeah. That's what I was thinking, too, actually.

I kind of go rogue during a scene,

so there's a chance that, if things are going well there,

I might just like fuck you in that chair.

You know what I mean?

Like, sometimes the scene just works like that.

When I started in the porn industry,

it was at a time when social media

was really starting to pop off.

My space was--was really big, and social media

was really starting to pick up steam--Twitter.

It was the very beginning of when we were seeing

that social media could really transform someone's life

and could really get them to reach through self-promotion

like their own audience.

I can make out with you there

but I'm gonna take you to the chair,

go down on you, like eat your pussy.

You can come.

And then I'll get up, take you by the hand,

walk you over the bed, and then we'll do

the more conventional sex stuff.

Oh, take me by the hand?

Porn has gone through a huge shift

in the nine years that I've been in the industry.

The girl next door

with an internet connection and a social media profile

were able to build up their own websites,

create pay sites, and start making money.

It really did start to transform

the industry as a whole.

So then, after we bang,

we want it to end

with kind of like cuddling like--

- Yeah, just like that... - Very sweet.

I've always known, I think, since a very young age,

you know, I wasn't gonna be just at a desk

could do a 9-to-5 every day.

I just knew I was gonna do something different.

I did a lot of different types of scenes

for several years.

I just felt so empowered by this feeling of like,

well, I can do this, so why the fuck not?

Things have changed, obviously, with--

SOVEREIGN: Yeah.

...things kind of being more in our hands now.

When I first start doing porn,

I had so many agents

and managers ask me,

"Can you be more of a dumb whore on Twitter?"

They--And I was like, "I can't. I literally can't.

I can't maintain that." - PHOENIX: Yeah.

Every single day, all day long.

And they want you to come off "available"

and not talk about your personal life.

Yeah. And then I was like, "I can't do that."

And just be a dumb available slut.

For so long there were gatekeepers

that said models must look like this.

They must be 5'11"

and between 105 and 115 pounds.

Before, you know, when shooting studio porn,

when you suggested, "What if we do it like this?"

Like, "Yeah, no."

And you just learned just stop making suggestions

and just stop. Do you know what I mean?

Now these new platforms were allowing,

uh, self-motivated, uh, content creators

to put their own product out there,

and what they were proving was that

there was absolutely an audience that would buy it.

Because of the advancements in technology

and sort of edited-- and by technology,

I just mean like editing software,

I can shoot-- my iPhone can shoot in 4K

if I want it to, right? - The cameras on this?

- Yeah. - Are crazy.

It's made it fun again.

Yeah, because you're creating your own content.

- Yes. - Now, you're not under like--

you're not under any contract,

and, like, I think that's-- - And it's not like--

it's not like I couldn't tell my agent,

"No, I don't want to do that scene,"

but I feel like now, there's so much more--

- But with all the scene-- - ...agency with ourselves

where it's like, hey, I can just hit you up

and be like, "Hey, do you want to bang? Let's film it."

For me, the best part about it

is being able to engage directly with the fans.

- Yeah. - The data that we now have

in our hands has really empowered us

to be our own business owners

and to figure out not necessarily

how to make the content that will sell the best,

but how to find the audience

that is looking for the content that we want to make.

Technology, analytics, big data

has told me exactly who's buying my content.

It's fantastic.

If the Mad Men of the '60s

knew that there was gonna be a platform

where a person could put out their products,

directly engage with their audience,

tailor it, check market trends,

and have access to analytics,

they would have shit themselves.

It's gonna be one scene, but what--

like, what do you want shot? - Yeah, I want to shoot, like,

through, like, minimal cuts,

unless we absolutely need to-- - Yeah.

..baby wipe or lube or whatever.

All right. So you just want it one,

like, you know, one whole...

More on the fluid side.

Do you want it more focused on, like,

your face or your genitals or, like--

- SOVEREIGN: Face. - RAE: I'll have one version--

- SOVEREIGN: Reactions. - ...like wide shots

and stuff like that? I'm one of maybe

just a handful of known

femme-identifying photographers

in adult industry, I believe.

A lot of mainstream porn

don't hire female camera people.

It's really hard to be recognized

as a queer woman of color in any industry, really,

so I feel like--

it feels nice to be recognized for my work.

Like, going off the mood board that you sent,

like, you want this to be like shot, like,

really contrasted?

I love being shot by women

because they just understand things that men don't.

When you're being shot by a woman,

she understands that,

oh, that's an uncomfortable pose to hold.

So someone lie Rae that actually takes the time

and cares, she understands.

I kind of like the idea of maybe doing something

where we start with maybe you,

focusing on you and maybe we could--

if we have like a hand mirror or something

that we could have, you start putting on lipstick

or something like that. - Oh, yeah.

And then I can, like, come in

and sort of start helping you.

I could not feel more confident about how this is gonna go.

SOVEREIGN: Yeah.

[music]

What if we put this chair over there

and this is like the fuck chair.

SOVEREIGN: Just say the fuck-- Just say the fuck chair.

It's the fuck chair.

I'm always happy to help a friend have an orgasm.

That's why I'm here. I'm here to make her come.

Where are you gonna take me?

I'm gonna take you to the fuck chair.

I'm gonna eat your pussy, make you come,

and then I'm gonna take you by the hand

and do you over the bed and shove your face in my ass,

and then you're gonna make me come.

And then we'll be done.

PHOENIX: It sounds good.

[giggles]

I could go back to an agent and shoot for other studios,

but I don't have to.

I don't have to rely on what work comes to me.

I can choose what I want to put out there,

and the people that want to follow me,

the people that want to see me

or the--the diehards

that have been following me since 2009,

they're like, "Hey, are you gonna put out more content?"

or "When are you gonna do this?"

They're gonna be there, no matter what.

I'm always still a little nervous before a scene,

even when it's someone that I've worked with a dozen times,

because there's always this element, right?

Like, you still also just don't--never know

what's gonna happen.

It rather put out something more I'm really turned on.

RAE: Pretty girl shots.

Both of you look at me.

I'm into it creatively.

Fuck, yes.

And it just all feels good.

RAE: All right, everybody, ready to bang away?

- I--I think so. - If you're not there...

You're gonna have these titties in your face.

Nowadays, girls will absolutely call themselves entrepreneurs

before they even call themselves porn stars,

which I think is amazing. - RAE: It's the right shot.

PHOENIX: That's exactly what I was--Here we go.

So what do is something called content trade,

which means that we pool our resources...

So just establishing, we're walking this way.

Just do what you're doing.

...to make one piece of content,

and then we each put it on our own platforms.

And so that's a way that we're able to cut costs,

because then we don't have to pay each other.

[music]

So, um, if you could angle a little bit more this way

because as--your-- your head is shadowing hers.

PHOENIX: There's a very authentic intimacy there

because we're attracted to each other.

Having that established trust

and that connection

really just heats everything up so much.

[moans]

Can I get a shot of you walk--

taking her over here?

No one else was really in the room,

even though they were.

There's that part of me, the exhibitionist side,

that's like, "Yeah, everybody's here."

But there's definitely that, like, little part of me

that's, like, being into being watched

is what led to me wanting to get into porn

in the first place.

- [moaning] - [gasping]

Ohh! [gasping]

[laughter]

I'm glad that we did our own approach to this scene.

I like that it was just so sensual,

very soft, and it's just like it's electric.

I really want to do like a minute clip

to force something in your ass.

- Oh, yeah. - How long have women

been trying to just be seen as equal

or get equal opportunity?

It's so much more exciting

to have an all-woman crew,

but also have people with the right vision,

the right style to really complement my style.

Yay, we shot a porno. High-five.

- Whoo! - We made a porn, huh?

High-five.

♪ I'm so glad you don't ask questions ♪

♪ And you're not paranoid

♪ Don't stay out late

♪ Wondering

♪ If I'm off with other boys

♪ But I've been having dreams

♪ About other strange men...