Original subtitles

- ♪ MTV ♪

- Previously on "RuPaul's Global All Stars"...

For this week's Maxi Challenge, you'll be playing

the Snatch Game Of Love.

- Spank my ass and call me Prinny Di.

- [laughs]

- What would you feed me?

- Banana.

- Spanish salad.

- Mm.

- It's so funny, but not for the right reasons.

- It was a slam dunk.

- Kitty Scott-Claus, you are the winner

of this week's challenge.

It was very Method acting.

You just didn't have the jokes there.

When did you realize it wasn't going well?

- When I didn't make you laugh.

- Vanity Vain, shantay, you stay.

Gala Varo, sashay away.

[laughter]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Whoo, yay.

Well, we're back in the Werk Room,

and I am buzzing off my second win.

I can feel that crown landing on my head.

I need it.

- And congratulations. [cheering]

- I'm a Snatch Game winner, baby!

- I don't understand how your mind works so quickly.

I don't understand. It's a gift.

- The gift of being a gobby cow.

- [screams] - Speaking of gobby cows...

[cow mooing]

- You won last week, and now you're low.

How do you feel?

- I mean, I'm not going to lie--

it did feel like a loss of moo-mentum.

- Shut the fuck up.

- I want to say I felt seen but not "herd."

- Oh, my God. - [laughs]

- I feel a bit rattled after my Snatch Game.

[yodeling]

- Mm-hmm.

- But I'm absolutely stepping up this week

because the week before the Snatch Game, I had won,

and I want to go back to that happy place.

- I'm really sad that Gala's gone.

Obviously, I didn't want you to go either.

- That was my favorite lip sync in the entire history

of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

- You made Ru-- she was howling.

- [laughs]

- I've never heard her laugh like that in a lip sync.

- Since we talked and you were like,

put your voice in the back seat or whatever...

- Yes, in the boot.

- I've just decided to have fun and not be up in my head.

But I've had so much fun, and everything feels so right.

- But, baby, you milked that lip sync.

- That wasn't a very organic joke.

- Well, it was A grade.

- Oh, my God.

- [laughs] - I'm getting out of drag.

- Bye. - I'm leaving.

- ♪ "RuPaul's Drag Race" ♪

The winner

of "RuPaul's Drag Race: Global All Stars"

will receive a one year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills Cosmetics

and a grand prize of $200,000.

With extra-special guest judge Graham Norton.

♪ "RuPaul's Drag Race" ♪

♪ May the best drag queen win, best drag queen win ♪

- Yes! - Yay!

- Come on, new day.

- It's a new day in the Werk Room,

and, oh, my goodness, there's seven of us left.

I'm looking around the room.

This is definitely not the group

that I was completely expecting when we first walked in.

Regardless, I'm still not bothered

by any of these bitches.

- Oh, my God, Gala is gone. - I know.

What are we going to look at now?

God, look at the room-- just a bunch of cross-dressers.

Disgusting.

And, Vanity, you're still here. - I'm still here.

- Oh, my God.

- Vanity Vain is officially the cockroach

of "Global All Stars."

You just can't get rid of her.

- All jokes aside, I won over Eva.

And then I sent home Miranda, and I just sent Gala home.

Am I the lip-sync assassin of the season?

- What do we think this week's challenge is going to be?

- We had Snatch Game last week.

What about a marketing challenge?

- No, another comedy challenge.

You want to win for the third time?

- Yes, I do. [laughter]

[siren wails, all screaming]

- I would love another comedy challenge.

Come on, let's get two wins in a row.

- My queens, comedy is like coffee.

It's best served dark, piping hot,

and good till the last mic drop.

- Ooh. - Wow!

- Another comedy challenge.

No!

RuPaul, we need to talk.

Come, sit with me. We need to talk.

- Yes, come on.

- So I'm looking around the room.

I notice that only me and Kitty

are jumping-up teenage schoolgirls.

The rest of them look really worried.

And they should be, because after the reading challenge,

bitch, they could all go home today.

[laughs]

[elevator bell dings]

- [laughs] Hello, hello, hello.

[cheering, indistinct shouting]

My Global All Stars.

- Hello. - Ciao!

- At this point in the competition,

you could probably all use a little pick-me-up.

- Please.

- For this week's Maxi Challenge,

it's nation versus nation...

as you star in a rich international roast.

- Oh! - Oh!

- [imitates sobbing

- [cheers]

- I know nothing about roasts,

but my dad makes a mean rotisserie,

and that's what I'm going to go for.

Thank you very much.

- #GlobalAllStars.

Now, later today, you'll be treated to a master class

in roasting by a surprise guest.

all: Ooh.

- Lord knows I need that.

I am getting a little worried.

[chuckles] I hope that I can do well or just be safe.

- Now, Kitty, since you won last week's Maxi Challenge,

you get to decide the roast performance order.

- Oh.

- There's definitely, like, a sense of pressure,

now I'm, like, setting the order.

- Kitty, you want a massage? - Who's my best friend now?

Ooh, I've got power over these girls.

- And tomorrow on the runway, category is

Blow Me Away...

[cheering] - Yes.

- Where you need to serve an outfit

that comes alive in the wind.

All Stars, start your engines,

and may the best global glamazon win.

[cheering]

Mmm.

[energetic music]

- The vibe in the Werk Room this morning

is laser focus.

This is the roast.

This is a huge challenge.

All right, Tessa Marie Sue Louise.

- [laughs]

Now, Miss Alyssa, how you feeling about this roast, girl?

- I'm thanking all the gods above

that I get a second chance.

I know everybody saw me in season five do a roast,

'cause I roasted my damn self.

This was the best bunch of people

you could get to come judge?

Can I get a "gay-men"?

But I got a different plan.

- You plan on changing this now, girl?

- I'm going to write my material,

and I'm actually going to read the material.

Wait, did you do a roast on your season?

- No, I didn't get this far.

[laughs] - You didn't?

- No.

Will you teach me how to be evil, Miss Alyssa?

Because I don't know how to be evil.

- Now, what on God's green Earth

makes you think that I know how to do that?

I've always been that motherly role,

always been a mentor, a coach.

And Tessa's a handful, but she's a good-time gal,

and I will gladly and proudly accept the job.

I came to this competition to reclaim my time

and grab my crown, and I ended up with you.

- She's passing the torch.

[laughs]

- These jokes are coming to me so naturally.

Literally, I'm looking at these girls, and I'm like,

I mean, the jokes write themselves at this point.

I won the reading challenge. This should be a piece of cake.

Oh, I love a roast.

I was top two on my season.

I'm excited to get back at it.

How are you feeling? - [squeals]

- Are you nervous? - I'm a little nervous.

I did a roast on my season, and it went horribly,

and I was in the bottom.

Brooke Lynn Hytes, bitch, I am so scared

to roast you in this environmental crisis,

because what if the ozone layer makes more holes with all

the chemicals burning off?

[chuckles]

So I'm not very excited for this challenge.

Stand-up comedy and roasts kind of don't make sense in my head.

- Right. - I'm a little nervous.

- Okay. Well, that should be fun.

- [laughs]

Like, what do you do if, let's say, one joke doesn't land

and the rest do? - You just carry on.

- You just keep going?

- Last week in Snatch Game when you were Zeus,

you had, like, this air of confidence around you,

which was, like--I'd never seen that in you before.

- I haven't either, to be honest, yeah.

- Whatever advice I give to Pythia is useless

because she's not funny, full stop.

Maybe you need to kill off Pythia and then

just be Zeus full time. - Maybe I should.

Maybe I should be a drag king. [laughter]

♪ ♪

- I'm sitting with Nelly. I'm sitting with Vanity.

Noticing very empty pages on their sides.

[laughs] I think I'm writing really good jokes.

I'm just going to continue to let the hate flow.

How you feeling?

Did you do roasts in your seasons?

- No.

- We do it in the "Drag Race Italy."

But it's not an Italian thing, no.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Because I really find you very rude.

[laughs] - No, I'm not.

I start to understand the Kween Kong humor.

- You're a bitch. [laughs]

- I'm so cute. - [laughs]

- She roasts me all the time.

But good for me,

because I can take some jokes and use it for me.

- How about you, Miss Sweden?

- No, never done a roast, but I'm excited.

I think I'm going to stick to what I know.

And instead of, like, writing just jokes,

I think I might have a song in my head that I want to do.

- You're going to write a song? - Yeah.

I choose to "sing"

just because it's more of, like, my comfort zone

and it hasn't been done before.

- But you've also got really funny physical comedy.

Like, that was the thing about the lip sync that--

- Yeah, that's what I want to bring.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, you already won with a bad song, so go ahead.

[laughter]

- Hello, All Stars. [all scream]

- Lovely, Graham.

- Okay, how many winners do I have here?

How many people have won?

Oh, Nelly.

[laughter]

- [laughs]

- [laughs]

[energetic music]

- Have you decided the roast order?

- Mm, maybe, maybe not.

- I just hope she doesn't put me first or last.

[chuckles] I absolutely would hate that position.

- The thing is, I want the show to be good.

Maybe I'll, like, do one really good person--

like, start with someone really amazing, me.

- And to put yourself first when you have that power, hmm.

Yeah. - Would you not?

- Absolutely not.

- Where would you put yourself? - I don't know.

Maybe somewhere in the middle.

- No, because then you get forgotten about.

You have a strong opening and a strong closing.

I want to open the roast.

And I know Kween would be fab to close the roast.

So those positions are set.

And then everyone else, it's just, like,

good and bad, one after the other after the other.

- We have somebody plotting and scheming over there.

What do you think?

- Oh, Miss Kitty has all the powers.

We see you, Miss Kitty, Miss Kitten.

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- Girl, you got all the powers over there to make--

And you know the order matters.

I'm crossing my fingers that I'm right in the middle.

I don't want to start it off. I don't want to finish it.

I want to be right there after a few.

- Well, what do you think with the order?

Where would you want to go?

- If I was you, I'm opening the show.

Follow this act, you herd of cattle.

- That's what I'm thinking.

- But are you going first so you can have

all the original jokes first?

- Well, they're always original jokes with me, darling.

- I don't know about that, Miss Kitty.

Because, Miss Thing, the reading challenge

was giving more, like, stock reads.

- Wow. [laughter]

- Can you please give us the order?

- Yes.

- Oh, my God. - Oh, did you do it?

- Yes, I did.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Mind your own fucking business.

You'll find out when you find out.

- No, Kitty!

♪ ♪

[elevator bell dings]

- Hello, All Stars. [all screaming]

- Hi. - Hi.

- Lovely, Graham.

Oh, Graham was a judge on "RuPaul's Drag Race UK,"

so I've got a special place in my heart for our Graham.

- Should we gather and talk through what you're going to do

and all of that?

There's coffee. I brought coffee.

- Thank you so much.

- Oh, my God. Graham is absolutely hilarious.

I hope he can give me some good tips that will

keep me out of the bottom. [chuckles]

all: Cheers.

- Okay, we've all got coffee? - We do.

- Thanks, yes.

- I hate to see you leave.

- But love watching you walk away.

[chuckling]

- Now, there's just seven of you left.

How has it been going? - Oh, it's been fun.

Well, we've been having fun, yeah.

- Yeah.

- Okay, how many winners do I have here?

How many people have won? Oh, Nelly.

[laughs]

- I mean, I'm an Italian. It's something.

- It's always so tragic when people go,

"I won a Mini Challenge."

[laughter]

- I'm still be the only one without a win.

But after the Snatch Game, I proved to the judges

that I can do everything.

So maybe this week is my time.

No, in Italy, we don't do roast.

It's something that we don't have.

But more than funny, I think I'm delusional, so...

- Okay, that works. - Yeah.

[laughter]

- I don't know Tessa. - Yes.

- So you're a comedy queen? Are you--

- You know, to be determined.

- Okay. - To be determined.

This is my first time doing a roast, actually.

- Okay. - Yeah.

- Well, she's funny-looking, so, look...

[laughter]

- I'm very worried

about how I'm going to deliver these jokes.

So we'll see how that turns out.

- And how many roasts have you done, Alyssa?

- I've only done one.

I roast myself on the daily, though, so...

- [laughs]

- And, now, in my mind, I thought it was hilarious.

I think I cursed everybody out in the building,

and they had to cut me off.

And when my mic went off, I said, it's not working.

The mic--

They said, no, baby, your time is up. [laughs]

I know Ru and Michelle have high expectations of me.

I know that I have to be

on my "A" Alyssa game in this roast.

- So you're an old hat. You're feeling confident.

- Oh, well, Down Under we roast each other under the tables.

We go in for blood.

Like, we'll go in, we'll twist the blade, we'll pull it out,

and the blood will like... [imitates spurting]

And then we'll chuck salt at it, rub it in,

and then we'll sit there and laugh

at you as you bleed to death.

I was saying it to the girls, I said, well,

how do you girls air your dirty laundry when you're--you know,

when you have beef?

Do you just bitch about each other behind their backs?

Probably. But, yeah, right.

- But the funny thing, I think, about roasts is funny is key.

So worry about the funny more than anything else.

Some of you might feel going into this,

oh, you know, my English isn't as good,

or, I don't write jokes. - Yeah.

- Make those weaknesses strengths, I would say.

- Miss Pythia is looking attentively,

and she's got her notepad out, and she's writing furiously.

But you know what? I don't think she's getting it.

- And then the classic thing is,

try to make us believe you're having fun.

[laughter] But you should be enjoying it.

Because like I say, you wanted to be here.

No one forced you here.

No one got a pig prod out and go, no, you got in there.

You wanted to be here. You wanted to do this.

Do you have any questions about this sort of thing,

or are you having any doubts about your material?

- Well, how do you not get canceled?

It's hard to navigate, like, with how sensitive

people are these days.

- Well, I mean, I think you'll know yourself,

because, you know, you're all working queens.

So you know what audiences like.

- Right.

- You know, I think in the end, if we're laughing, you're good.

You don't get canceled if people are laughing.

[laughter]

- You get canceled if people are looking worried and ashen--

kind of like, oh, yeah.

So, Kitty, how did you pick the order?

- Well, all I knew is I wanted to go first.

- Okay.

- Because why not start with the best one?

- Oh, all right, Kitty. - Okay, okay.

And then I thought, the rest are shit,

so let's just chuck them on in there.

So I'm going to do me and then Vanity...

She can't deliver a joke for love nor money,

so she's going to be a valley.

And then Pythia...

Not a funny lady, so it will just emphasize

the fact that I was fantastic.

Then going to Alyssa, then Nelly, then Tessa, then Kween.

- Oh, yes. - Okay.

That's not just random, is it? - No.

I was thinking, okay, we need, like, peaks and valleys

with this.

- Who are the peaks, and who are the valleys?

- Well, we will see.

- We shall see. - Oh!

- But I'll go first. - But I'll go first.

[laughter]

- She puts me after her because coming up with jokes

is not my strong suit.

But what I'm good at is writing lyrics.

- Well, talking to you, you're all funny.

So you should be funny tonight.

So I guess the only bit of comedy advice left is,

don't fuck it up. all right?

And I'll see you later.

Oh, Pit Crew. - [gasps]

- I can't travel alone. - Yes.

- All right. We'll see you later.

Look forward to laughing. Thank you.

Come on, Miguel, we're out of here.

- Bye, Manuela. Love you. - Bye.

- Oh, faah! - Oh.

- I am confident enough in my comedic abilities

that it doesn't matter where you are placed.

And if they don't like their positions,

well, tough tits, toots.

Can I just ask how everyone actually feels about the order?

- I'm afraid.

So I think that be after Alyssa,

there is a very strong competitor, it's not easy,

but someone need to do.

And I think you're for me

because you know that I can be funny.

I can see maybe Pythia

struggle after Alyssa.

I don't want to be rude with anybody.

- That was very rude. You were rude.

You're a bitch. I can't believe it.

Oh, my God. "I'm so sweet.

I'm so sweet.

Pythia, you're going to struggle."

[laughter]

- ♪ On "RuPaul's Global All Stars" ♪

♪ We gather on the stage ♪

- Okay, maybe I won't be the worst in this roast.

- [laughs]

- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Yes, oh, my God, it's a new day.

- Move!

- Oh, wow. That was very aggressive, darling.

So it is elimination day.

And, listen, there is no way I'm going home today.

Bitch, I am not holding back for nothing.

These bitches are going to get it. [laughs]

- I'm so excited for this roast.

I can't wait. - It's going to be fun.

- So yesterday when we were talking with Graham,

I obviously asked the question, how do you not get canceled?

[laughs] Do you girls find it really tricky

to sort of have to censor yourself?

- Being in the public eye,

we do have more of a responsibility.

- Mm-hmm.

- But we are human, and I think that we live

in a world of social media.

The judges aren't really the judges

sitting up there on the stage. - Right.

- It's the keyboard warriors at home.

- After my season, I got so much hate.

- Why?

- They really didn't get me in Sweden.

They just thought that I was so,

like, really sour as a person.

- I love what Ru says.

What people have to say about me is none of my business.

- Exactly. I love that. - Mm-hmm.

- Let's spread positivity, not love.

But that being said, let's burn each other in this roast.

No holding back. No punches barred.

Baby, baby, let's get this roast a-cooking.

[RuPaul's "Cover Girl"]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Cover girl ♪

♪ Put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe ♪

♪ Let your whole body talk ♪

♪ Cover girl ♪

♪ And what? ♪

Welcome to the main stage

of "RuPaul's Drag Race: Global All Stars."

She likes her coffee like she likes her men.

It's Michelle Visage.

- That's right, Ru. Chock full of nuts.

[laughter]

- He puts the D in comedy.

It's Jamal Sims.

Now, Jamal, are you a coffee drinker?

- Let's just say I love anything that's hot, brown,

and keeps me up all night. - Ooh.

[laughter]

- And our international treasure, Graham Norton.

Now, Graham, do you like coffee?

- I'll have what Jamal's having--

diarrhea.

[laughter]

- This week, we challenged our All Stars

to brew up some comedy at our Rich International Roast.

And tonight on the runway, category is Blow Me Away.

All Stars, start your engines,

and may the best global glamazon win.

[upbeat music]

Welcome to our Rich International Roast.

And perk up your ears for Kitty Scott-Claus.

- Come on, girls. Come on, girls.

Oi, oi, saveloy.

Good evening, Ru, Michelle, Jamal,

lovely Graham, and the cast

of "RuPaul's Drag Race: Global Some Stars."

Sorry, no. My bad, my bad.

The cast

of "RuPaul's Drag Race: Global All Stars."

Plus Tessa.

- Wow.

- Where to begin?

I know, Pythia.

Pythia is living proof that reading is not fundamental.

- [laughs]

- Now, Vanity, her wigs are so crunchy,

it looks like she's brushed them with a toffee apple.

Vanity's wigs are so thirsty,

African orphans have started sending her money.

Nehellenia, Nehellenia.

She always goes, "I'm so stupid.

I'm so stupid."

And I have to fucking agree with her.

Now, Alyssa, watching Alyssa fumble

around a sewing challenge with a hot-glue gun

makes me think that the anti-drag laws in Texas

should have gone ahead.

Tessa didn't actually make it very far

in her season of "Drag Race."

And watching her this season, I can't understand how.

How she was ever cast in the first place.

Now here come the RuPaul old jokes.

all: Yay!

- RuPaul is so old, she was at the coronation

of Queen Elizabeth...

the First!

RuPaul always tells us not to reinvent the wheel,

and that is because she was there when the wheel

was literally being invented.

Thank you so much for your time.

If you've enjoyed me, I've been Kitty Scott-Claus.

And if you haven't enjoyed me, I'm Vanity Vain.

- Yay!

- Kitty has just set it on fire.

Wow, that was a start.

Girl, I feel bad for the next bitch.

[laughs]

- Now it's time for the most fun queen in the group.

I'm going to sing a song. - Okay.

- ♪ On "RuPaul's Global All Stars" ♪

♪ We gather on the stage ♪

- Vanity, why are you singing, sweetheart?

This is not the singing challenge.

And if it were, I'd pick a key, and I'd stick in it.

- ♪ Pretending we are models ♪

♪ But no one really slays ♪

- Okay, maybe I won't be the worst in this roast.

- ♪ In wig, corset, and high heels ♪

♪ I'm begging you to stay ♪

♪ Can someone bring a burger? ♪

♪ I haven't eaten in days ♪

♪ From UK our Kitty ♪

♪ Yes, she's a fucking cunt ♪ - Oh.

- ♪ Diana, you were pretty ♪

♪ Was that your only stunt? ♪

♪ Which brings us to the virus ♪

♪ Hello, Testicle T ♪

♪ Praying you get a donor ♪

♪ And maybe a gig with a fee ♪

♪ I'm sorry, I'm Vanity Vain ♪

♪ A singing drag queen ♪

♪ Not known for standing up ♪

♪ But more known for lying down ♪

♪ Thank you for this time ♪

♪ Where is my burger now? ♪

- Yay. - All right.

- Whoo. [applause]

- I know Vanity chose to sing

because it makes her comfortable,

but the rest of us are now very uncomfortable.

So thank you so much.

- And now for Toronto's bana-nana

in a Greek carpet, Pythia.

- Um, that was a little awkward.

Thank you. Thank you, everyone.

Thank you, Vanity.

Oh, my goodness. That was wonderful.

Your voice is like music to my ears.

And right about now, I wish I was deaf.

[laughs]

[light chuckles]

Nehellenia, who remembers her beautiful vocals

from her talent showcase?

Yeah, me neither. [laughs]

Her music is so bad that Michelle Visage

asked to feature on one of her songs.

- Ooh.

- Tessa Testicle, when I first met you,

I thought you were so annoying and obnoxious and loud.

But after getting to know her...

wow, am I perceptive.

[insects chirping]

Jamal, my dear, all I'm going to say is,

your teeth are so white, they're almost whiter

than me trying to dance in the girl-group challenge.

Like... Am I right?

- Well, dear, I'll see you at the bottom.

- Kitty Scott-Claus, mwah, mwah, mwah.

All I'm going to say is, after meeting you,

I know why your currency is called Great British pounds.

And that concludes my roast for the night, you guys.

Thank you so much for having me.

Next up, we have Alyssa Edwards.

She's back, back, back rolls again.

So let's hear it really loudly. Mwah, mwah, mwah.

- Oh, Pythia.

I don't know if live performing

is her strength.

That's all I got to say about that.

[applause]

- I feel like I'm in "The Twilight Zone."

Judges, I'm so sorry that y'all had to sit

through this bullshit tonight.

Let's start off--

Show some love for the hostess with the mostest,

Kitty Scott-Claus from across the pond.

And I got to say, the resemblance of Gemma Collins

is so uncanny.

She, too, has folks

telling her she's fly, hot, sexy,

and she's nothing of the sort.

In fact, is Humpty Dumpty in a wig?

- Fuck me.

- It is a breath of fresh air to see

a confident, seasoned queen.

Mediocre jokes, but "A"-class delivery.

- I quickly realized my illustrious career

had plummeted when I met Germany's Tessa Testicle.

That's some "Single White Female" shit

right there.

I just want you to know, Tessa, that my attorneys

will be sending you a cease-and-desist as we speak.

- Of course, we all expected

the All Star Botox glow-up,

but, Ru, the amount of fillers,

like Italia's Nervous Nancy

and Sweden's Neurotic Vanity,

this fucking shit can't be FDA approved.

My time is running out,

much like Vanity's time in this competition.

Judges, thank you for your time and your consideration.

All my love, Alyssa Edwards.

[pops tongue]

- RuPaul is laugh a lot about the roast of Alyssa.

I don't get the jokes.

What she saying?

♪ ♪

Tessa T, I don't know what worse,

your pink dress in the ball or--

Oh, fucking no, there's nothing.

Nothing worse than that.

- Baby, this Margherita pizza is trouble.

- [laughs]

- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

- The next entertainer up here, the pizza-delivery lady,

is here to give us some kind of Margherita pizza.

Give it up for Italia's Nehellenia!

- Hey! - All right.

- Ciao. I'm here for deliver.

Oh, no, not the Margherita pizza.

I'm here for deliver some jokes,

but please be kind with me, because, you know, in Italia,

we don't do roasts. - Okay.

- Tessa T, I don't know what worse,

your pink dress in the ball or--

Oh, fucking no, there's nothing.

Nothing worse than that.

Pythia, my love, oh, my God.

You remind me an epic poem.

A name of a oracle, the body of a goddess,

and the face of a mythologic beast.

- Oh, my God, Nelly is a shady bitch.

I love it.

- Oh, Kween Kong, I didn't forget about you.

I mean, I did from your season till now, but not tonight.

Baby, you're so fucking funny-looking.

- Nehellenia is actually doing better than I thought.

Maybe I should have put her in a worse position.

- RuPaul, I think we are very similar.

We are beautiful, we are kind, we are talent,

and we both lie to people, say, yes, I can sing.

Jamal, or how RuPaul call you, Ja-mawl,

I want to read you something.

555-3484.

I read you my number, so please call me, 'cause I love you.

If you like me, I am Nehellenia.

And if you don't like me, shut the fuck up!

And now I don't think that Switzerland

can be neutral anymore, because it's time for Tessa T!

- Ru just laughed her fucking ass off to Nehellenia.

Baby, this Margherita pizza is trouble

and a tough act to follow.

Hello, hello, hello. Good evening, everybody.

And thank you, Nelly, for this pizza garbage.

Now, I know it's pretty bold of me to be coming out here

and do all that, because, as you know,

I was in the bottom four

out of my five "Drag Race Germany" episodes.

The only person who's bottomed more

is Pythia in a dance challenge,

Vanity Vain in an "All Stars" season,

and Michelle Visage at any mall in New Jersey.

Give it up for Kween Kong, everybody.

- Yay.

- She's just done so much to bust old,

outdated stereotypes,

like the myth that all drag queens are beautiful,

all rich people have taste, and all fat girls have ass.

Girl, I don't know what's flatter, your ass, Kitty's ass,

or Pythia's roast.

Another extremely talented makeup artist is Pythia.

Face white as snow, lips red as blood,

but them teeth, bitch, the Yellow Brick Road.

You know, I really tried to be nice to these girls.

I said, come on, y'all. We can kumbaya this out.

But much like Vanity's and Nehellenia's music,

nobody will listen to me.

So here we are.

- Tessa got in her head right in the middle of it.

She started out funny, but once she realized that we weren't

all, like, beating the walls, falling out laughing,

I could see her not enjoying it anymore.

- [sighs]

Seeing Kitty next to Kween Kong

is like watching Uncle Fester in a wig talk to Gemma Collins

after a long night of hooking.

[insects chirping]

I don't know what's bigger, your first chin,

your second chin, or Michelle Visage's dick.

Alyssa Edwards, as I live and breathe.

We all know you are one of the best dancers

in "Drag Race" herstory.

But, baby, the way you can just mesquite, skeet, skeet

your way out faster than your hairline and your track record

into the safe zone, incredible.

All right.

That is me, Tessa the orphan.

And give it up for Miss Shit and Bananas,

Kween Kong.

Thank you so much. - Yay.

- I'm definitely not worried now

after watching the plane crashes

that has just gone before me.

I'm going to let them have it. [chuckles]

Now, look, I am so humbled to be here

for a night of fun, comedy, and global excellence--

is what I would be saying if any of those three things

was onstage tonight.

I mean, look at them.

It's a bevy of anxiety, acrylic paint,

and global tears from each and every one of their fathers.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Tessa doesn't know her father.

Everyone give it up for Kitty Scott-Claus.

Wow, Kitty, thank you so much for including me

in the roast tonight.

I know you must have been battling with yourself

when you were coming up with the lineup,

because like your ancestors,

you put the person of color last on the list.

Moving on to the next...beauty.

Vanity Vain is here.

I really noticed how we do things in Australia

that you don't do in Sweden, like brush your wigs.

Now, one of the things that I love about "Global All Stars"

has been getting to know the girls,

their culture, their language.

In fact, I learned that Pythia

is the Greek word for "pathetic."

Alyssa Edwards has had so much work done to her face,

her hairline now starts in the middle of her back.

Alyssa Edwards has had so much work done to her face,

the contractors involved have united and created a union.

- Give it up for Miss Tessa Testicle.

[cheers and applause] - Yes.

- Now, baby, I have read you, your mother, your father,

and your entire ancestral line daily since we've been here.

So I want to say something that you haven't heard all season.

You are an amazing drag queen.

Now, my loves, my time has run out.

If you've enjoyed the roast, my name is Kween Kong.

If you haven't, you're racist. Thank you.

- Kween was absolutely amazing as a finisher.

She roasted us to crisps. [chuckles]

- ♪ 'Cause you're a star, baby ♪

- Category is Blow Me Away.

Up first, from the UK, Kitty Scott-Claus.

- She has some nerve coming out here stoned like that.

- You know, she's not bad.

She's just blown that way.

- I am serving you

bridal nude illusion.

I wanted to look naked, covered in rhinestones.

I feel bloody gorgeous.

- Wind model zone.

♪ ♪

- Up next, from Sweden, Vanity Vain.

- Oh, it's the long-lost sister, Doody Garland.

- I'm serving the "mess" in Christmas.

So the outfit I was supposed to wear

was damaged during the flight over here,

so I had to get a bunch of Christmas decorations.

And I was sitting up late this night doing

this Christmas ball mess.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

- Only 58 tucking days till Christmas.

♪ ♪

- Up next, from Canada, Pythia.

- This is Toronto's entry for the Montreal Hair Show 2024.

- Come on, Bronner Brothers.

- My inspiration for my look is elven.

It's magical.

It's goddess-y, but it's also quite cryptic.

And I really, really feel all of my fantasies.

- Those darn kids TP'd Pythia. - Oh, no!

♪ ♪

- From the United States, Alyssa Edwards.

Don't it make your brown eye blue.

- You know what? I am a Marvel glamazon on a mountain.

The wind hits me. I raise my arms.

I've taken note.

This ain't my first time at the rodeo.

- Girl, look how fucking windy you look.

From Italy, Nehellenia.

- Allora.

- She from that new band, Girth, Wind, and Fire.

- Ginger Minj. Oh, no, wait, that is someone.

- Baby, I'm serving you Jessica Rabbit.

I'm not sexy.

I'm cute, but I try my best.

- It's a five-alarm Margherita pizza.

♪ ♪

- Representing Germany, Tessa T...

headlining at the Fringe Festival.

♪ ♪

- I'm shimmering down this runway,

and I see Mama RuPaul grinning from one ear to another.

I know damn well she eating this look up.

I'm giving you Cher, giving you Renaissance,

giving you everything and the kitchen sink.

- That reminds me, I cannot get my pots clean.

♪ ♪

- From Down Under, Kween Kong.

Now, this is one golden girl I'd like to know more about.

- Me too.

- I am serving you straight-up Beyoncé realness, girl.

This look is made of lamé,

which is the most cheapest fabric,

which is like me, cheap, but I'm using my body.

I'm moving. I'm being a dancer.

I'm living my showgirl fantasy.

- This gold thing?

♪ ♪

- I don't quite know why it didn't work

as well as it should have.

I just think you were unlucky.

- [laughs]

- [laughs]

Welcome, global glamazons.

- Hello. - Hi.

- It's time for the judges' critiques,

starting with Kitty Scott-Claus.

- Kitty, you came out of the gate strong.

My critique would be for you to just take a breath.

You can slow it down just a little.

- Mm.

- But what a way to open the show.

- You were savage but in the best way.

And tonight on the runway, this look is beautiful.

- Kitty, I'm so glad I was here tonight,

because you did the UK so proud.

- Oh, thank you.

- Really, really, really funny. I'm so impressed.

What a time to be Kitty Scott-Claus.

- Thank you so much, Graham.

- Tonight was a great night for you.

And, listen, you are ready to step

into any television program, host it, produce it, do it all.

You are rea-dy.

- Thank you so much, judges.

- Up next, Vanity Vain. Michelle.

- Hey, Vanity. - Merry Christmas.

- Thank you.

So singing wasn't a bad idea, in theory.

I thought it was actually pretty smart,

and it was different, and it was a way to stand out.

- ♪ Pretending we are models ♪

♪ But no one really slays ♪

- I think the downside was, it just wasn't funny, really.

- No.

- What I think would have helped

is if you would have, like, put a hook,

like., something that was, like, a little chorus-y,

so it felt like a song a little bit.

- You have your own distinctive brand,

and it is so beautiful.

Listen, I know how hard the roast is to do.

And, you know, you came up with something that was original.

- What you did in the roast--

I mean, you took a big swing, and I really admired that.

Did it work? Not entirely.

If you'd done those jokes just talking,

it would have been worse. [laughter]

It would, though, wouldn't it?

This I kind of love, because it's kind of like,

so the theme is Blow Me Away.

Christmas. That's where I'm going.

[laughter]

- Now, who put this together?

Did you put this outfit together?

- No. [laughter]

- So you did put this together.

- Yes, Ru. Yes.

- Anything else you want to add?

- Ho, ho, ho.

[laughter]

- Up next, from Canada, Pythia.

Michelle.

- I felt like you were really nervous.

- You are such a kind soul

that I think, you know, taking jabs at people

is really difficult.

And so I don't think that you ever fully let go.

And then the look tonight, this is your thing.

- This is just--every time I think of Pythia

and the way you do drag, things like this come to mind.

- Yes. [chuckles] Thank you.

- I thought you gave it your best shot.

I think you got a bit lost in it.

- Had you done it as Zeus, it would have been perfect.

Can you do it as Zeus? - As Zeus, yes.

- Yeah.

- [Greek accent] Okay, my friend. [chuckles]

RuPaul wanted to release a greatest hits album,

but his record label didn't feel comfortable

releasing a blank CD. Eh!

[laughter]

- That's the voice right there. That's funny, you know?

- Thank you. Thank you. - Thank you.

Up next, Alyssa Edwards.

- You know, Miss Alyssa, I'm glad you're standing here

for critique so I can just give you a minute to tell you,

through this whole competition,

I am so impressed with the level of your drag.

And to my point, what you were wearing in the roast

was magical.

- Thank you very much. - You are welcome.

- In that roast,

you gave a master class in just confidence.

You know, some of the jokes

weren't as good as other people's,

but you believed them more.

We believed in them, and we were laughing.

- You were the international roast queen.

And then tonight this, again, is something--

You are killing it. - Thank you very much.

Thank you.

- My only note to you is be conscious

of where the camera is, and even if I'm--

Like, if I'm talking to Michelle, you know,

I'm still going to look forward.

I'm looking at Michelle dead in her eyes right now.

- I feel it. - [laughs]

- I'm ready for my close-up.

[laughter]

- Up next, Nehellenia.

- Ciao. - [laughs]

- I did not expect for you to be as good as you were.

You belong here.

Tonight this look was different than anybody else.

You went with blowing a flame and a fire,

and I really loved that.

For me, where I struggled was the hair.

It doesn't have a shape.

But, Nelly, brava. - Grazie.

- Who knew that you were packing the heat?

We laughed consistently.

It was so fun to watch.

And then tonight on the runway,

you went into this, like, beautiful goddess,

and it all worked.

- You were like one of those annoying people at school

who were like, oh, I'm so worried about my exams,

and then get an A-plus. - Yes.

- It's a really strong night for you.

- Thank you so much.

- You have your act. Comedic gold.

And, you know, I understand the hair.

Maybe a little bit more crimping in it.

- Someone have a brush? [laughter]

- Thank you, Nehellenia. - Thank you, too.

- Up next, Tessa T.

- I thought that you went up there with confidence,

and then that confidence quickly spiraled.

- [sighs]

- Tonight I don't have the words for how gorgeous

this look is. - Wow, thank you.

- We all saw what happened tonight.

I appreciate you just not giving up.

And you got a couple laughs.

And then as far as this look, I love this look.

- Thank you so much, Jamal.

- I don't quite know why it didn't work

as well as it should have. - Me neither.

- I just think you were unlucky.

There's just a certain--

You can't put your finger on why some things work

and some things don't work.

So you were unfortunate, I feel.

As Jamal says, you plowed through, and you did it.

You should be really proud of yourself.

And sweet Jesus baby in heaven above, this is stunning.

It's absolutely gorgeous. - It is absolutely gorgeous.

And, of course, the way you sold it on this runway

was exquisite.

Up next, Kween Kong.

- Hi. - Hi, doll.

- Hello.

- This look tonight on the runway--

I just love seeing this kind of Kween Kong 2.0--

evolved and confident

and feeling the beauty of the skin that you're in.

And then you took to the podium,

and it was a home run. - Oh.

In fact, I learned that Pythia is

the Greek word for "pathetic."

- Yeah, Kween Kong, I had high expectations

of you doing the roast, and you delivered.

Yeah, I have no critiques at all.

- What I really like is how you maneuvered in the wind,

how you were able to work the material.

Excellent night. - Thank you.

Thank you so much, Jamal.

- Boy, oh, boy, did you work that wind machine.

And, of course, your roast was marvelous.

You've really found your voice.

You've really found your right rhythm.

You weren't afraid to just let us

catch up to what the joke was and go,

oh, I see what she's saying.

And then you'd pick it up again.

That--again, it's that dancer instinct.

Beautiful night for you.

Thank you, Kween Kong. - Thank you so much.

- Thank you, All Stars. I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck in the Werk Room,

the judges and I will deliberate.

You may leave the stage.

[engine turning over, revs]

- We're back in "Untucked," and I am feeling quite confident.

I think I'm in a chance of winning this.

Well, I feel very positive.

- Yeah, bitch. - That was lovely.

- You did great. - Congrats.

- I'm so happy. I love the roast.

And do you know what? Nelly, you did so bloody well.

- Thank you so much.

- They did read her for the hair.

- That's a minor detail.

I think this is gorgeous. You look stunning.

- Thank you.

Kitty, she's the best comedian here.

And know that she thinks that

make me so glad, so proud.

- Tessa, how are we feeling?

- Here I was with my, like, roast

that I've worked all night on,

and why are these bitches not laughing?

This was definitely a hard week for me,

but I am not letting this discourage me.

I'm going to fight my way through this.

But it kind of make me feel better

to see Jamal and Graham saying that they saw me not give up.

- For you to get notes like that and critiques like that,

ultimately, whether you lip-synch or not...

- Yeah. - That is a win for you.

- Yeah, totally. - Yeah.

- How do you feel, Pythia? - Pretty good.

I mean, honestly, I'm not going to lie.

I knew I was going to be in this situation.

I just don't understand stand-up comedy.

I have spoken about this for time and time again.

I don't understand that art form.

And that's fine, you know. Whatever happens happens.

If I'm lip-synching, I'm going to lip-synch.

I think I'm going to do it in this, actually.

It's going to be pretty cool. - And baby, baby.

I think this one is one of the most iconic look

of all the seasons.

- Thank you, baby. - It's iconic.

- I may have bombed the roast,

but my look is incredible tonight,

and I really hope that it can save me

from the bottom, like last time.

- What about you, Vanity? Are you feeling okay?

- Well, I think this is my winning week.

I'm winning everything. There's no surprise.

I know exactly what the destiny is doing.

It's also today exactly one year

since I walked into "Drag Race Sweden."

- Wow. - Oh.

- Hopefully you don't walk out today.

[laughs] That would be the gag.

You'd be like, happy anniversary, bye.

- I don't want to lip-synch again,

but I just feel it in the air.

Like, this is happening again.

And...

I'm preparing to blow the judges away.

- [laughs]

- [laughs]

Welcome back, All Stars.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Ciao. - I've made some decisions.

[dramatic music]

Kitty Scott-Claus, in the roast and on the runway,

you were peach perfect.

Alyssa Edwards, you really tongue popped.

- [pops tongue]

- Nehellenia, you were on fire.

Kween Kong, you were pure gold.

♪ ♪

Kitty Scott-Claus...

Kween Kong...

condragulations.

You are both the winners of this week's challenge.

- Fuck, yeah! - Oh, my God.

- Oh, my fucking God.

- You will split a tip of $10,000.

- Thank you so much. - Thank you so much.

- Oh, my God. Thank you.

My third win! Hooray! Oh!

And to share it with Kween--

I mean, I couldn't have picked between us,

and neither could Ru.

- [screams] I'm so excited.

Three wins each?

$5,000 each?

Oh, my God.

- Alyssa...

Nehellenia...

you are safe.

The four of you may step to the back of the stage.

- Yes, motherfucker.

Check us, baby.

- Vanity Vain, in the roast, you swung big,

but your runway was a bit of a miss...

a Christ-miss. - [chuckles]

- Yeah.

- Pythia...

tonight your runway was pure magic,

but your roast

did not cast a spell.

Tessa T, you sparkled on the runway,

but your roast lacked luster.

Tessa...

♪ ♪

You're safe. - Thank you so much.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

- You may join the other girls.

- [exhales sharply] Another lucky escape.

Part of me is kind of bitter

because I really wanted to lip-synch to the song

in this look. [laughs]

- Vanity, Pythia,

I'm sorry, my dears, but you are up for elimination.

- I really thought that my runway was going to save me,

but here we are.

I have never had to lip-synch for my life

during "Drag Race," so I'm feeling a little nervous.

- Two Global All Stars stand before me.

♪ ♪

This is your last chance to impress me

and save yourself

from elimination!

The time has come

for you to lip-synch...

for your life.

- Vanity may have sent two girls home, but not this time.

I'm in it to win it.

- I just think I can sell this more than Pythia.

I'm a rock star, and she's a mannequin.

Hit the fan.

I'm ready.

- Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

[light rock music]

♪ ♪

- [vocalizing]

♪ ♪

♪ I had to escape ♪

♪ The city was sticky and cruel ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Maybe I should have called you first ♪

♪ But I was dying to get to you ♪

♪ I was dreaming while I drove ♪

♪ The long straight road ahead ♪

♪ Uh-huh, yeah ♪

♪ Could taste your sweet kisses ♪

♪ Your arms open wide ♪

♪ This fever for you was just burning me up inside ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I drove all night ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I taste your sweet kisses ♪

♪ Your arms open wide ♪

♪ This fever for you is just burning me up inside ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I drove all night ♪

♪ To get to you ♪

♪ Is that all right? ♪

♪ I drove all night ♪

[cheering]

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

- So good. - That bitch tore it up.

- Oh.

- Wow.

- Oh, my gosh.

All Stars, I've made my decision.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Vanity Vain, shantay, you stay. - [gasps]

- Oh, my God.

- Officially the lip-sync assassin.

- You may join the other girls. - Thank you so much.

Mwah. Love you.

Oh, my God.

I'm officially the lip-sync assassin of the season.

And kind of ironic to send home the Canadian queen

to a Canadian singer.

[shade rattle]

- Pythia, my queen,

you are and will always be

an international icon.

Now, sashay away.

- Thank you so much for everything.

And I will promise you I will keep looking for that voice.

[laughter] Thank you so much.

- Thank you. - [chuckles]

Bye-bye.

- We love you, Pythia. [applause]

♪ ♪

[ting]

[laughter]

- Condragulations, All Stars.

And, remember, if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you going to love somebody else?

Can I get an "amen" up in here? all: Amen!

- All right, now let the music play.

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ When I play, play ♪

♪ Oh, oh, when I play, play ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh, baby, I'm a winner ♪

[laughs]

- Next time on "RuPaul's Global All Stars"...

For this week's Maxi Challenge, your sisters are here to help,

as you transform them into a member

of your "Drag Race" family.

- I sent three of those bitches home.

Did you drive all night?

- Oh, fuck.

- It is a showstopper.

- I definitely want to go to that party.

- The family resemblance was not there.

- ♪ Can you feel the love? ♪

♪ ♪