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- Synced and corrected by actumaxime -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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00:00:06,221 --> 00:00:08,007
Given these cans are full of steroids,
3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,719
I have a hard time buying
your physique is simply a result
4
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,721
of "clean living and spinach."
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00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,685
Uh, Your Honor, I wish
I had more of a defense,
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00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:19,395
but his statement simply reads,
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"I'm strong to the finich
'cause I eats me spinach.
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00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:26,485
Ah-guh-guh, guh-guh-guh-guh-guh."
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00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:31,448
- Why do you talk like that?
- It's the 'roids.
10
00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:34,118
Guh-guh-guh, guh-guh-guh,
guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-guh.
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Six months' probation and $1,000 fine.
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Maybe work in a leg day.
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00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,252
Your Honor, this is rough.
14
00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:45,504
It's the first time
I've been in a relationship
15
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:46,839
during Fleet Week.
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00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,507
Oh, my God.
17
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,426
I thought you and the duke
agreed that you could look
18
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,845
as long as you don't
ask permission to come aboard.
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00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:54,638
But he's in England,
20
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:59,143
and all these tight-pants heroes
are within pouncing distance.
21
00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:03,856
Oh, the pheromones are too much.
I got to take a walk.
22
00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:06,775
- Which briefcase should I buy?
- That one's cute.
23
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:09,528
Oh, yeah? Good. I'll buy the other one.
24
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,780
You can spend that
kind of money on a briefcase?
25
00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,782
Give me the cash, and I'll make you one.
26
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:15,910
There's an alligator in holding.
27
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I need a new briefcase
28
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to hold all the money I'm gonna make.
29
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,790
I finally got a seat in the
secret Fleet Week poker game.
30
00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:23,959
That poker game is Navy only.
How'd you get in?
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00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:26,712
Because, unlike you,
I have friends in high places.
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00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,881
I believe he's talking about God.
33
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:30,758
No, no, no. I'm talking about you.
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You got me a seat at the poker game.
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00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:33,886
because of your Navy experience.
36
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I can't wait to play some cards.
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Cards? We're playing volleyball.
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00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:40,976
Wait a minute. Ho, ho.
Whoa, whoa. Whoa. Sorry.
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00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:44,271
You said you could get me a seat
at the Fleet Week poker game
40
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:46,482
because you served in the good old Navy.
41
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:51,028
No. I said I served
for the good Old Navy store.
42
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On their volleyball team.
43
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,866
I was stationed at the Paramus Mall.
44
00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:58,994
Why would you phrase it
as "the good old Navy"?
45
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Because the bad Old Navy
was on the first floor
46
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:03,207
by the Sbarro.
47
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:07,086
Come on, Dan!
Get your head out your ass!
48
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:10,756
So when you said that you had
fought in a Banana Republic...
49
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:12,299
It was Black Friday.
50
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We lost a lot of good men that day.
51
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,727
Judge, I... I'm going to say something
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00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,229
because I need to get fired.
53
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Emily Blunt was a better Mary Poppins.
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You are so fired!
55
00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:33,737
What's going on?
56
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:35,406
The next defendant is Jasmine Jennings.
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00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,366
She's the head of the PTA
at my daughter's school,
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and I'd rather not be standing
next to the person
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00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:40,786
who might find her guilty.
60
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,371
You're scared of a school mom?
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00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:45,332
You didn't bat an eye at
that guy shaving a cantaloupe.
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00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:53,382
I don't bother Glenn.
Glenn doesn't bother me.
63
00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:56,135
Jasmine Jennings steamrolls
anything in her path.
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00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,137
And I don't want to be flat, Abby.
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00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:01,640
Being three-dimensional
is a big part of who I am.
66
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:05,644
Can't wait to meet her.
Jasmine Jennings, come on down!
67
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,063
Hello! Hello, hello.
68
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,732
Oh, my God!
69
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:11,150
Wyatt Shaw?
70
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,152
I didn't know you worked nights!
71
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:16,906
This is why you show up
at drop-off in your jammies.
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00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:20,034
I have court. We'll catch up later.
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00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:21,368
Thank you, thank you!
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00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:25,414
FYI... Bradley Cooper
is a dad at my school,
75
00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:28,959
and he will sing a song on my behalf.
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The defendant is charged
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00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,632
with operating an unlicensed food stand.
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00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:36,926
I was raising money
for the school basketball team,
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00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:40,095
so I set up an itty-bitty bake sale.
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In the main concourse
of Madison Square Garden
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00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,599
during a Knicks game,
82
00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:46,769
blocking the entrance
to multiple restrooms...
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00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,103
with this.
84
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,189
Shot Clock Showdown?!
85
00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:53,108
Never wanted to commandeer
something so bad in my life.
86
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,777
Your Honor, my client was merely
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00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,612
trying to raise money for children.
88
00:03:56,654 --> 00:04:01,200
- Who doesn't love children?
- You.
89
00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:03,702
And me.
90
00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:06,789
If I don't raise money for basketball,
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00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:09,625
some kids might not make the team.
92
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:13,796
Some kids might end up
in art club... with Jeremy M.
93
00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:17,883
M. Woof. I can tell
that's not the Jeremy you want.
94
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,760
All right. I'm gonna say guilty.
95
00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:21,136
Ten hours' community service.
96
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:23,430
But I already do community service.
97
00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:26,642
My foundation provides
nose jobs for at-risk youth.
98
00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:31,313
Got it. Not all giving is good.
All right.
99
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,482
I'm going to take a recess
so I can go get some quarters.
100
00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:36,151
I mean... go to my judge's quarters.
101
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,153
Don't worry. I'm banned from MSG too.
102
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:42,992
Apparently, they got a lot
of rules about touching Beyoncé.
103
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,788
Well, thanks for the pretzel.
104
00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:49,164
I'd love to stay and chat,
105
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,166
but you answer to the call of the sea.
106
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,419
And I answer to the call of the mustard.
107
00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:57,464
Getting free stuff from sailors, huh?
108
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,008
Look, I'm saving up to buy an apartment,
109
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,049
and every little bit helps.
110
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:02,553
- I'm not proud of this.
- Oh, there's no shame in it.
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00:05:02,595 --> 00:05:06,640
People like us should never
have to pay for anything.
112
00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:08,142
People like us?
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00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:10,477
Drop the act, Olivia.
114
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,146
We're both hotties.
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00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:15,398
Your problem is you're thinking
small potatoes.
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00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:18,235
Watch and learn.
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00:05:21,739 --> 00:05:24,241
I'm a wittle hungwy.
118
00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:29,246
Thank you, honey.
119
00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,458
I guess the poker game's off.
120
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,335
We lost the basement
of the drama bookstore.
121
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:37,046
Lin-Manuel Miranda's
workshopping a new production.
122
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:38,797
This one's about George Hamilton...
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00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,507
also never a president.
124
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:43,010
Excuse me. Are you talking
about the Fleet Week poker game?
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00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:45,221
We can't tell you. You're the law.
126
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:49,141
Uh, n... no. I'm a law-yer.
127
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:51,227
I have no allegiance to the law.
128
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:53,145
Oh, if you lost your poker room,
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00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,481
I will not rest until
I find you a place to play.
130
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,734
And all I ask in return
is for you to help me fulfill
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00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:03,364
my lifelong dream of playing
cards for the first time.
132
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,740
You got a deal.
133
00:06:04,782 --> 00:06:06,992
As long as you promise
not to take all our money!
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00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,745
Take... No! Come on!
135
00:06:09,787 --> 00:06:12,581
I got an in on the poker game.
136
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:15,000
I need you to unlock the basement.
137
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,418
I'm not gonna help you take money
138
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,254
- from a bunch of hot servicemen.
- Fine, fine.
139
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:20,589
If you're not gonna do it
for me, well...
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00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:23,592
do it for your boyfriend, the duke.
141
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:26,095
There's no greater test
of your commitment to him
142
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,888
than being locked
in a sweltering basement
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00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:32,351
with a bunch of muscle-bound men
who are good at taking orders.
144
00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:35,437
Is one of them named Bodhi?
145
00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:38,274
And does he have hands that
look like they can fix stuff?
146
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,943
- All six-foot-five of him.
- Too tall.
147
00:06:40,985 --> 00:06:43,571
- All six-foot-two of him.
- Mm.
148
00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:46,115
But come on. Bodhi
doesn't matter, right?
149
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:49,910
You love the duke. Or... do you?
150
00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:51,453
Only way to really find out
151
00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:53,998
is to let me host the poker game
in the basement.
152
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:57,334
Damn it, Fielding. You're right.
153
00:06:57,376 --> 00:07:00,588
And by the way,
the basement's never locked.
154
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,133
I hope my ruling
against Jasmine yesterday
155
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,634
didn't make drop-off awkward.
156
00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:07,303
Nope. Smooth as silk.
157
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,013
The material, not the nut milk,
158
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:12,266
which Jasmine banned because the
name is too sexy for children.
159
00:07:12,308 --> 00:07:13,976
She's just a basic bully.
160
00:07:14,018 --> 00:07:16,312
Just got to put them in their
place and they back right down.
161
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,231
Yeah. Let's live in a world
where that's true
162
00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:21,150
for the next two seconds.
163
00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:27,489
- What is all this?
- Game over!
164
00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:29,700
W... What?
165
00:07:29,742 --> 00:07:33,120
She's doing her community service here?
166
00:07:33,162 --> 00:07:36,332
Wyatt! Thank goodness you're here.
167
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:40,711
We are low on lemon bars.
168
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,380
Thank you, thank you.
169
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,592
She's made a mockery of my ruling.
170
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:50,512
And even worse,
she's weaponized lemon bars.
171
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:52,847
Don't be mad. I'm sure
she'll give you a job soon.
172
00:07:57,904 --> 00:07:59,978
Holding a bake sale in my courthouse
173
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,272
is not community service.
174
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,149
She should be cleaning a highway,
175
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:05,610
maybe even meeting a biker guy
who makes her realize
176
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:10,281
that even though they're from
different worlds, love ain't.
177
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,741
Just write it already.
178
00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:13,451
The world needs to see "Love Ain't."
179
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,829
I don't have time, Wyatt.
I need to put a stop to this.
180
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,831
Couldn't agree more.
181
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:20,125
I did authorize it.
182
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,544
- Why would you say yes to this?
- I didn't say yes.
183
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:25,713
She just put it out there,
then said it was for the kids
184
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,215
and thank you-thank you'ed me.
185
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,050
You can't let her steamroll you, Wyatt.
186
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,677
You have to stand up for yourself.
187
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:33,304
It's go time!
188
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:34,764
If you don't want to listen to me,
189
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:38,476
- listen to Shot Clock Showdown.
- Fine.
190
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:42,021
I guess it's go time.
191
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,442
Yeah.
192
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,654
About those bars.
193
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,364
I don't think I'm gonna make them.
194
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:53,199
He's heating up!
195
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,494
- But you're the sugar daddy.
- I'm not doing it.
196
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,663
Rejection!
197
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:02,250
This isn't laid-back, pajamas-
in-the-drop-off-line Wyatt.
198
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,501
No it's not.
199
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,212
This is all-business, hard-pants Wyatt!
200
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:09,382
Boom! Personal growth!
201
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:12,385
Did that last one seem weird
to anyone else?
202
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:18,427
I guess I'll just find
someone else to make lemon bars.
203
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:19,767
Thank you.
204
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,060
Thank you.
205
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:27,108
What... have I done?
206
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,780
Well!
207
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:35,909
As the cop said
to the draft-dodging hippie,
208
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,702
"I'm taking the pot!"
209
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:41,372
Damn. It's hotter than the
top half of a mermaid in here.
210
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:45,335
Who's thirsty? I've got
regular lemonade and hard...
211
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:50,381
body. Calm down, girls.
You can do him... it!
212
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,718
I'm out of cash. Can I bet
my dead dad's watch?
213
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,721
We're all friends here.
I don't see why...
214
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,557
you didn't bury this with him.
215
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,975
- Dan.
- What?
216
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:03,770
Uh, ante up. I'll be right back.
217
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,605
- What? What?
- What the hell, Dan?
218
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,357
You're taking all their money.
219
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,025
This is lower than when you
locked Flobert in the morgue.
220
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:11,319
Oh, please. That was
part of a prank war.
221
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,821
I'm his Clooney.
222
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,405
And this is about more than money.
223
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,908
This is my way into the secret
New York poker circuit.
224
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,035
You got high-stakes games
at Gracie Mansion,
225
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,829
the Yankee clubhouse...
226
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,580
Joy Behar's game
in Whoopi's dressing room.
227
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:26,000
Huh?! Wha... Sorry. I...
It's hard to hear over his abs.
228
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,545
You got to give these guys back
their money.
229
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:31,673
All right. Fine. I'll give
them back their money.
230
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,299
All right, guys. Here. Look.
231
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,093
A hundred dollars for
whoever has the most tattoos.
232
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,053
Now, listen.
I would take your word for it.
233
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,848
But my friend here... has to see it.
234
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:43,226
Why are they always
in the sexiest places?
235
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:48,273
Ooh. I can't. I can't.
236
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,027
If you're gonna be a professional mooch,
237
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,363
you'll have to master more
than just flirting.
238
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:58,283
There's also persuasion. Guilt.
239
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:01,244
Some people can be instantly hypnotized.
240
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:02,829
Sleep!
241
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:07,917
Okay. You're not one of them.
242
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:09,627
Look.
243
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,629
Your idea to get free clothes
by impersonating a mannequin
244
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,922
is great.
245
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:17,260
But it's small potatoes.
Where are the big potatoes?
246
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,721
It takes years to work up
to the big potatoes.
247
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,514
But I need a new apartment now,
248
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:24,476
and no one will give me
a wittle down payment.
249
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:28,271
I've got your down payment right here.
250
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:30,815
I knew a man who started
with a paper clip
251
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,609
and traded his way up to a house.
252
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:36,237
And that man's name was Murray Flobert.
253
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:39,491
It wasn't me.
It's just a wild coincidence.
254
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,992
This better work,
255
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,827
because I'm beginning to feel
like a woman
256
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:46,080
who started with a pretzel
and ended up with a paper clip.
257
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:49,459
Hey, Mr. Hard Pants.
258
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:53,213
No one's ever talked to me
that way, and I didn't like it.
259
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,924
I loved it.
260
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:58,760
- You did?
- Let me show you how much.
261
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:04,474
Hey, I got quarters for the...
ho-o-ly Shot Clock Showdown.
262
00:12:06,015 --> 00:12:08,442
He shoots,
he scores!
263
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:14,107
Flobert! Look.
264
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,695
- I traded up to a scooter.
- Oh!
265
00:12:18,214 --> 00:12:19,674
Hey!
266
00:12:19,716 --> 00:12:21,676
Paper clip to slice of pizza
to air fryer
267
00:12:21,718 --> 00:12:24,095
and then back to paper clip,
which I used to pick the lock
268
00:12:24,137 --> 00:12:26,556
on the evidence room,
where I found this.
269
00:12:26,597 --> 00:12:28,016
I'm proud of you!
270
00:12:28,057 --> 00:12:30,977
But look what my paper clip turned into.
271
00:12:32,395 --> 00:12:35,523
H... H... Hey!
272
00:12:35,565 --> 00:12:37,775
So when you said big potatoes,
273
00:12:37,817 --> 00:12:40,862
you meant actual literal potatoes.
274
00:12:40,903 --> 00:12:43,031
My ship's finally come in.
275
00:12:43,072 --> 00:12:46,909
The trick now is making sure
the IRS doesn't find out.
276
00:12:48,077 --> 00:12:50,204
You know, when I said stand up to her,
277
00:12:50,246 --> 00:12:51,748
I knew you'd get in her face.
278
00:12:51,789 --> 00:12:54,375
I just didn't know you'd get in her face.
279
00:12:54,417 --> 00:12:55,793
This is bad.
280
00:12:55,835 --> 00:12:57,378
I was trying to free myself
from this woman,
281
00:12:57,420 --> 00:12:58,588
and now I'm in even deeper.
282
00:12:58,630 --> 00:13:00,173
It was one kiss.
283
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,549
I'm the Pringles of people.
284
00:13:01,591 --> 00:13:03,718
Once you pop, you just don't stop.
285
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:05,219
This is for you.
286
00:13:05,261 --> 00:13:07,597
It's the only package
I'm allowed to handle.
287
00:13:09,932 --> 00:13:14,771
- Oh!
- Amazon Prime? What'd I get?
288
00:13:17,607 --> 00:13:19,567
Who sent me a tie?
289
00:13:19,609 --> 00:13:22,111
You're welcome, you're welcome.
290
00:13:22,153 --> 00:13:23,696
That came fast.
291
00:13:23,738 --> 00:13:25,448
So, I've been thinking.
292
00:13:25,490 --> 00:13:27,742
You're a stripes guy now.
293
00:13:27,784 --> 00:13:30,078
It's a good power look
for your upcoming interviews.
294
00:13:30,119 --> 00:13:33,122
- Uh, my what?
- For your new job, silly.
295
00:13:34,624 --> 00:13:36,626
How am I supposed to introduce you?
296
00:13:36,668 --> 00:13:38,252
"This is my lover, Wyatt.
297
00:13:38,294 --> 00:13:40,922
He works with a bunch of losers
at a dump."
298
00:13:40,964 --> 00:13:43,341
I don't care for your choice of words,
299
00:13:43,383 --> 00:13:45,635
but that is one dynamite blazer.
300
00:13:47,011 --> 00:13:50,807
Oh. I just noticed Amber
didn't heart my text.
301
00:13:50,848 --> 00:13:53,142
I have to destroy her. BRB.
302
00:13:54,310 --> 00:13:56,688
Starting to think
you shouldn't have kissed her.
303
00:13:57,689 --> 00:14:00,608
Just tell her it was a mistake.
Women love that.
304
00:14:00,650 --> 00:14:02,610
If I do that, I'll be chaperoning dances
305
00:14:02,652 --> 00:14:04,153
for the rest of my life.
306
00:14:04,195 --> 00:14:06,864
I can't be learning eighth-grade
slang when I'm 70.
307
00:14:06,906 --> 00:14:09,158
No. I'll stick it out
till my kids are in college,
308
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:12,370
and I'll never have to know what
the future version of "sus" is.
309
00:14:12,412 --> 00:14:15,164
But I bet it's probably "florg."
310
00:14:15,206 --> 00:14:17,542
So, I'm thinking for your next phase,
311
00:14:17,583 --> 00:14:22,380
- we do finance or international finance.
- Finance?
312
00:14:22,422 --> 00:14:25,258
I thought being a lawyer
was a true passion of yours.
313
00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:26,801
But what do I know?
314
00:14:26,843 --> 00:14:29,137
The only thing I've done
with your mouth is listen to it.
315
00:14:30,930 --> 00:14:32,890
Wyatt, can you just tell
your little bossy-boss
316
00:14:32,932 --> 00:14:34,517
that you love all my plans for us?
317
00:14:34,559 --> 00:14:36,102
Thank you, thank you.
318
00:14:36,144 --> 00:14:39,981
I just remembered...
I got to go feed my birds.
319
00:14:40,023 --> 00:14:42,650
Birds, right?
320
00:14:42,692 --> 00:14:44,611
Always eating
in the middle of conversations
321
00:14:44,652 --> 00:14:47,030
you definitely want to have.
322
00:14:51,034 --> 00:14:54,203
Gentlemen, I'm afraid
that I'm gonna have to fold...
323
00:14:54,245 --> 00:14:58,541
all this cash in my pocket! Ugh!
324
00:14:58,583 --> 00:15:01,836
Boys, I've now been hypnotized
by Flobert,
325
00:15:01,878 --> 00:15:04,922
and I am no longer susceptible
to your charms.
326
00:15:04,964 --> 00:15:08,259
And... it's super not working.
327
00:15:08,301 --> 00:15:09,927
Oh, speaking of working!
328
00:15:09,969 --> 00:15:12,513
Gurgs, if you and your Taser
will escort me to the ATM
329
00:15:12,555 --> 00:15:16,184
so I can deposit all this money,
there might be a special...
330
00:15:16,225 --> 00:15:17,977
high five in it for you.
331
00:15:18,019 --> 00:15:20,605
Dan, I know there's nothing I can say
332
00:15:20,647 --> 00:15:22,357
to get you to walk away from this game.
333
00:15:22,398 --> 00:15:25,234
So I brought a ringer
to send you packing.
334
00:15:25,276 --> 00:15:27,236
What? What do you mean, a ringer?
335
00:15:27,278 --> 00:15:30,031
What...
336
00:15:30,073 --> 00:15:31,449
Ol... Olivia.
337
00:15:31,491 --> 00:15:33,952
In law school, I paid
for my tuition by playing poker.
338
00:15:33,993 --> 00:15:35,453
Great.
339
00:15:35,495 --> 00:15:37,914
So you wiped the floor with some
pimply-faced law students?
340
00:15:37,956 --> 00:15:41,167
Actually, it was the Deep Stack
Poker Extravaganza in Vegas.
341
00:15:41,209 --> 00:15:42,543
Three years in a row.
342
00:15:42,585 --> 00:15:44,545
Had to give it up
'cause I had a problem.
343
00:15:44,587 --> 00:15:46,339
With the Russian mafia.
344
00:15:46,381 --> 00:15:47,715
Don't you worry.
345
00:15:47,757 --> 00:15:50,218
I'm not gonna let
that mean lady hurt you.
346
00:15:51,594 --> 00:15:53,388
I won't take up much of your time.
347
00:15:53,429 --> 00:15:55,431
We're both very busy people.
348
00:15:55,473 --> 00:15:58,810
Something you should know
if you want to pick a fight...
349
00:15:58,851 --> 00:16:00,645
- I always win.
- Oh, yeah?
350
00:16:00,687 --> 00:16:03,856
Well, something you should know.
We're not both busy people.
351
00:16:03,898 --> 00:16:06,985
I was drawing my dream cat.
352
00:16:07,026 --> 00:16:08,987
- It's so cute.
- I know, right?
353
00:16:09,028 --> 00:16:11,406
It's got this cute little heart
nose and... Wait a minute!
354
00:16:11,447 --> 00:16:13,908
We're in a fight,
and I'm not afraid of you.
355
00:16:13,950 --> 00:16:16,953
You sound just like Ella Fitz Marcus.
356
00:16:16,995 --> 00:16:20,164
Before me, she ruled the PTA
because every year
357
00:16:20,206 --> 00:16:24,168
she got Al Roker to narrate
our holiday pageant.
358
00:16:24,210 --> 00:16:27,005
Until the year that Al didn't show
359
00:16:27,046 --> 00:16:30,091
because his new
Italian chauffeur got lost.
360
00:16:30,133 --> 00:16:33,761
How'd I know
that Al's chauffeur was Italian?
361
00:16:33,803 --> 00:16:35,888
A-beats a-me.
362
00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:38,725
Mamma mia.
363
00:16:38,766 --> 00:16:41,352
So... thank you, thank you.
364
00:16:41,394 --> 00:16:42,979
No, thank you, no, thank you.
365
00:16:43,938 --> 00:16:46,190
Let me tell you a story
about another bully I knew.
366
00:16:46,232 --> 00:16:50,612
That bully's name was my entire
sixth-grade basketball team.
367
00:16:50,653 --> 00:16:53,114
And also some of the parents.
368
00:16:53,156 --> 00:16:56,034
Whenever I went to shoot,
they'd all yell, "No!"
369
00:16:56,075 --> 00:16:57,910
'cause they thought I'd miss.
370
00:16:57,952 --> 00:17:00,455
In case it wasn't clear,
I was the chauffeur in my story.
371
00:17:00,496 --> 00:17:02,832
We're on my story now.
372
00:17:02,874 --> 00:17:05,168
I spent that entire season on the bench,
373
00:17:05,209 --> 00:17:07,837
but I practiced every chance I got.
374
00:17:07,879 --> 00:17:09,505
And when it was time
for the division finals
375
00:17:09,547 --> 00:17:12,133
and half the team was out
with mono because of a game
376
00:17:12,175 --> 00:17:13,968
of spin-the-bottle I was excluded from,
377
00:17:14,010 --> 00:17:16,179
they had no choice but to put me in.
378
00:17:16,220 --> 00:17:19,807
And when everyone shouted,
"No," I made that shot.
379
00:17:19,849 --> 00:17:21,601
Turns out it was in the wrong basket.
380
00:17:21,643 --> 00:17:22,977
That's why they were shouting.
381
00:17:23,019 --> 00:17:25,772
But the point is... I don't back down.
382
00:17:25,813 --> 00:17:27,649
So you've always been a loser.
383
00:17:27,690 --> 00:17:30,860
Great story. Kind of knew the ending.
384
00:17:30,902 --> 00:17:33,947
Too bad for you... I don't lose.
385
00:17:33,988 --> 00:17:36,074
- You lost in my courtroom.
- That was rigged.
386
00:17:36,115 --> 00:17:38,993
You were the judge, and no one
wins in fluorescent lighting.
387
00:17:39,035 --> 00:17:41,329
All right. Let's play on your turf.
388
00:17:41,371 --> 00:17:42,914
Shot Clock Showdown.
389
00:17:42,956 --> 00:17:45,124
I'm gonna beat you for Ella and Al Roker
390
00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:48,127
and every single mother
you crushed over the years.
391
00:17:48,169 --> 00:17:49,504
You're on.
392
00:17:49,545 --> 00:17:53,841
Oh, and by the way,
I also have a basketball story.
393
00:17:53,875 --> 00:17:56,753
I won a national championship
with UConn.
394
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,830
So we both have equally
good basketball stories!
395
00:18:05,721 --> 00:18:07,321
All right. So you're both all in, huh?
396
00:18:07,657 --> 00:18:10,047
I'll tell you what.
It's my call. All in.
397
00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:11,980
Ha! Queen-high straight.
398
00:18:12,055 --> 00:18:13,848
- Beats my two pair.
- Yeah. Well, you know what?
399
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:16,887
I hate to inform you. The queen is dead.
400
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,014
Long live the king... high straight.
401
00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:22,184
Oh, money? Come here. Daddy missed you.
402
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:23,852
Hold on. Hold on.
403
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,562
This guy's two pair is really good.
404
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:27,689
It's 3s... and 3s.
405
00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:29,483
Ha! That's four of a kind.
406
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,860
Oh, my God. I win!
407
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:35,739
I can finally afford to fix
the typos in my back tattoo.
408
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:39,368
Thanks for your help. Here's a watch.
409
00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:42,913
Good luck with your horniness.
410
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,040
Hold on. It's after midnight.
411
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:48,836
Fleet Week is over
and I didn't lick one sailor.
412
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:51,213
Let's see how you do next week
during Wrestle Mania.
413
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,631
Mamma mia.
414
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,299
Come quick!
415
00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:57,094
The judge is about to play
some mom in Shot Clock Showdown!
416
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,763
- Hundred dollars on the mom?
- Yeah. I'll take that action.
417
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,307
- You got 100 bucks?
- I got a paper clip.
418
00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:08,063
She's on fire!
419
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:10,232
Don't do this. You can't beat her.
420
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:12,901
I stood up to Jasmine once,
and now I have to memorize
421
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:14,403
a list of acceptable talking points
422
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:17,322
because this weekend,
I'm meeting her parents.
423
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:20,284
But I do think it will help me
talk to Dan.
424
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,453
You wish.
425
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:25,080
So she played for UConn.
That's ancient history.
426
00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:26,915
She only stopped playing pro
a couple years ago
427
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,959
after winning her third Olympic gold.
428
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,173
Twenty points! Unbeatable!
429
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:38,969
Feel that? That's how Lithuania felt.
430
00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:41,388
Potatoes!
431
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:44,850
Get your big potatoes here!
432
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:49,438
Judge, if you think you can do this...
433
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,689
I believe in you.
434
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,941
Wyatt, that's very sweet of you.
435
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:54,485
But that's the last thing I need.
436
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:57,863
My game was built on people
not believing in me.
437
00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:01,450
Abby, just know I'm here for you.
438
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:04,411
I am behind you zero percent!
439
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:15,422
Boo!
440
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,231
No!
441
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,082
Unbelievable!
442
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:53,168
Your negativity made her stronger.
443
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:58,173
Hey. I just want to say...
you owe me five bucks.
444
00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:00,050
Oh, no. I... I hope this doesn't mean
445
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,885
we'll have to take a rain check
on meeting your parents.
446
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,596
I'm taking a rain check on everything.
447
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:06,265
I need to focus on my basketball.
448
00:21:06,306 --> 00:21:09,852
I just lost to a four-foot
civil servant shooting a potato!
449
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,021
Thanks for sticking by me.
450
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,440
Aw, no need to thank me.
451
00:21:14,481 --> 00:21:17,943
And you did inspire me
to stand up for myself.
452
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:19,611
I think I deserve a raise.
453
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:23,031
Awkward.
454
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:24,700
Someone unplug that thing.
455
00:21:24,741 --> 00:21:27,995
It was unplugged the whole time.
456
00:21:28,036 --> 00:21:30,179
That's night court, baby!
457
00:21:30,245 --> 00:21:35,245
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