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1
00:00:05,463 --> 00:00:06,923
♪ ♪
2
00:00:10,741 --> 00:00:12,492
(shrieks)
3
00:00:17,755 --> 00:00:19,590
(school bell rings)
4
00:00:21,508 --> 00:00:22,759
(belches)
5
00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:23,719
(tires screech)
6
00:00:25,228 --> 00:00:27,229
D'oh!
7
00:00:27,230 --> 00:00:28,855
(grunts)
8
00:00:28,856 --> 00:00:31,240
(applause)
9
00:00:31,250 --> 00:00:32,984
(stammers): You sit on me.
10
00:00:32,985 --> 00:00:34,653
There's a remote in my crack.
11
00:00:34,654 --> 00:00:36,710
Uh, Problems I Have!
12
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:37,989
I could use a slip cover.
13
00:00:37,990 --> 00:00:39,908
Um, uh,
Things Your Sister Would Say!
14
00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:41,993
No. Uh...
(gasps)
15
00:00:41,994 --> 00:00:44,122
You haven't replaced me
since 1989.
16
00:00:44,915 --> 00:00:46,916
Things a Couch Would Say!
17
00:00:46,917 --> 00:00:49,710
- Yes!
- (bell dinging)
18
00:00:49,711 --> 00:00:51,713
♪ ♪
19
00:00:56,499 --> 00:00:58,959
Hopefully, we won't be out
too late, Shauna.
20
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,335
(Valley girl accent):
Whatever.
21
00:01:00,336 --> 00:01:01,461
And just for the night,
22
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:03,130
could you lose the tongue ring?
23
00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:04,673
Whatever.
24
00:01:04,674 --> 00:01:07,425
Homer, is it too late
to change babysitters?
25
00:01:07,426 --> 00:01:08,510
Yes.
26
00:01:08,511 --> 00:01:10,262
So I'll have to stay home.
27
00:01:10,263 --> 00:01:12,848
I don't think we have to--
Homer.
28
00:01:12,849 --> 00:01:14,391
Yes, Marge?!
29
00:01:14,392 --> 00:01:17,978
We both have to go
to Drug Awareness Night!
30
00:01:17,979 --> 00:01:20,730
(sighs)
I guess we have no choice.
31
00:01:20,731 --> 00:01:23,400
Here's the number
for the poison control center,
32
00:01:23,401 --> 00:01:25,160
the allergy hotline,
33
00:01:25,162 --> 00:01:27,163
and, if the kids misbehave,
34
00:01:27,164 --> 00:01:28,832
Papa John's Pizza.
35
00:01:28,833 --> 00:01:30,208
Don't worry, Mrs. Simpson.
36
00:01:30,209 --> 00:01:32,127
We'll take great care
of your kids.
37
00:01:32,128 --> 00:01:33,870
"We"?
38
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:34,629
Uh, me and God.
39
00:01:34,630 --> 00:01:36,470
Okay, then.
40
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:37,967
We'll see you soon.
41
00:01:40,110 --> 00:01:43,138
(moaning)
42
00:01:43,139 --> 00:01:47,580
Want to watch videos
of pythons swallowing stuff?
43
00:01:47,590 --> 00:01:50,270
Uh, can't we watch something
with kittens?
44
00:01:50,271 --> 00:01:52,188
Oh, there's kittens in there.
45
00:01:52,189 --> 00:01:53,482
(kitten meows)
46
00:01:56,110 --> 00:01:58,153
This is pointless.
47
00:01:58,154 --> 00:02:00,739
We learned all the new
dangerous drugs last year:
48
00:02:00,740 --> 00:02:03,616
sprack, zup, borzo,
and crystal bam.
49
00:02:03,617 --> 00:02:06,770
I hear
they're mixing bam with zup.
50
00:02:06,780 --> 00:02:07,203
Interesting.
51
00:02:07,204 --> 00:02:09,789
Bam and zup.
(chuckles)
52
00:02:09,790 --> 00:02:12,125
This seminar's already paying
for itself.
53
00:02:12,126 --> 00:02:14,461
Homer Simpson,
are you watching football
54
00:02:14,462 --> 00:02:16,546
through your pants pocket?
55
00:02:16,547 --> 00:02:20,508
But do you know how much love
is lost between these teams?
56
00:02:20,509 --> 00:02:21,551
None!
57
00:02:21,552 --> 00:02:24,950
Turn it off!
58
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,306
This bag of concentrated death
59
00:02:26,307 --> 00:02:29,642
is what the kids today
call "blizzard."
60
00:02:29,643 --> 00:02:31,190
Allow me to demonstrate.
61
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,146
On Skin-ner!
62
00:02:33,147 --> 00:02:35,857
Superintendent,
I-I must protest.
63
00:02:35,858 --> 00:02:38,680
I'm an educational professional
who...
64
00:02:38,690 --> 00:02:40,445
- (grunting)
- That's a good boy.
65
00:02:40,446 --> 00:02:41,529
Take your medicine.
66
00:02:41,530 --> 00:02:42,490
(inhales, sighs)
67
00:02:42,491 --> 00:02:44,991
Oh, let's get out of here.
68
00:02:44,992 --> 00:02:47,911
I guess we can watch
the PowerPoint presentation
69
00:02:47,912 --> 00:02:49,204
in bed tonight.
70
00:02:49,205 --> 00:02:51,414
Oh, that sounds magical.
71
00:02:51,415 --> 00:02:53,667
(quietly):
Just don't be conspicuous.
72
00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:56,419
(phone ringing)
73
00:02:56,420 --> 00:02:57,420
Ooh, it's Lenny.
74
00:02:57,421 --> 00:02:59,589
Homer, I found my birth mom!
75
00:02:59,590 --> 00:03:02,342
Her name is Cheryl, and
she wants nothing to do with...
76
00:03:02,343 --> 00:03:03,552
(Marge groans)
77
00:03:04,345 --> 00:03:07,180
(gasps)
A wedding expo!
78
00:03:07,181 --> 00:03:09,808
Marge, there is no way
I'd ever be interested in--
79
00:03:09,809 --> 00:03:11,226
Is there a girl in that cake?
80
00:03:11,227 --> 00:03:13,610
No, just cake.
81
00:03:13,620 --> 00:03:15,438
Oh... that is so sexy.
82
00:03:15,439 --> 00:03:16,773
After you, Marge.
83
00:03:16,774 --> 00:03:19,275
Ooh, a wedding expo!
84
00:03:19,276 --> 00:03:22,737
It's like going
to a thousand weddings at once.
85
00:03:22,738 --> 00:03:26,616
Sneaking in will be the most
romantic thing we've ever done.
86
00:03:26,617 --> 00:03:28,340
More than our real wedding?
87
00:03:28,350 --> 00:03:30,286
A thousand times more.
88
00:03:30,287 --> 00:03:33,248
I was pregnant,
and you had a fever of 103.
89
00:03:33,249 --> 00:03:36,840
103.4.
90
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,754
Aw, you remembered.
91
00:03:41,456 --> 00:03:45,622
For subtitling services, contatct:
waqas.zahoor89@gmail.com
92
00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:47,847
("Allegro Non Molto" from
Vivaldi's Four Seasons playing)
93
00:03:50,641 --> 00:03:53,351
(sniffles)
It's so beautiful.
94
00:03:53,352 --> 00:03:54,894
(sniffles)
Oh.
95
00:03:54,895 --> 00:03:57,898
Even the prenups are gorgeous.
96
00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:02,260
(techno music playing)
97
00:04:02,270 --> 00:04:03,987
Your bride will look radiant
98
00:04:03,988 --> 00:04:06,114
next to these hideous
bridesmaids dresses
99
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:08,575
made in colors
known to scare seagulls.
100
00:04:08,576 --> 00:04:11,770
Oh, so beautiful!
101
00:04:11,780 --> 00:04:12,287
Come back here, you.
102
00:04:12,288 --> 00:04:14,998
You've got 12 more drugs
to test.
103
00:04:14,999 --> 00:04:18,419
I both see and am God.
104
00:04:19,461 --> 00:04:21,254
(suspenseful music playing)
105
00:04:21,255 --> 00:04:24,299
Who will protect me
when you die?
106
00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:26,676
Nothing's gonna happen to...
107
00:04:26,677 --> 00:04:27,553
(grunts)
108
00:04:27,554 --> 00:04:29,262
Does this house have a mixer?
109
00:04:29,263 --> 00:04:30,889
We could make face cookies.
110
00:04:30,890 --> 00:04:32,599
(chuckles)
111
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,685
Aw! You're gonna make
such a good dad.
112
00:04:35,686 --> 00:04:38,229
(moaning)
113
00:04:38,230 --> 00:04:40,106
(groans)
I feel like a walk.
114
00:04:40,107 --> 00:04:41,774
You want to take a walk?
115
00:04:41,775 --> 00:04:45,236
I feel glued to my seat
for reasons I don't understand.
116
00:04:45,237 --> 00:04:46,487
It's all over, sweetheart.
117
00:04:46,488 --> 00:04:48,198
The curse is broken.
118
00:04:48,199 --> 00:04:50,783
Grandma will take care of you
from now o...
119
00:04:50,784 --> 00:04:52,785
- (groans)
- (buzzing)
120
00:04:52,786 --> 00:04:53,870
Ah!
121
00:04:53,871 --> 00:04:56,248
Come on!
122
00:04:57,583 --> 00:04:59,830
(Shauna giggling)
123
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:00,793
JIMBO:
Let's see if we can both fit
124
00:05:00,794 --> 00:05:02,545
in Homer's underwear.
125
00:05:02,546 --> 00:05:04,380
This is very sobering.
126
00:05:04,381 --> 00:05:07,910
Why did we think
this would be cool?
127
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:08,801
What are you kids
doing out so late?
128
00:05:08,802 --> 00:05:10,845
Babysitter party at our house.
129
00:05:10,846 --> 00:05:12,931
Why don't you come inside
for a mug of cocoa?
130
00:05:12,932 --> 00:05:14,682
- (ding)
- Coco-nut, that is,
131
00:05:14,683 --> 00:05:17,352
to fill your belly
with much-needed potassium.
132
00:05:17,353 --> 00:05:18,312
(chuckles):
Grins, people.
133
00:05:18,312 --> 00:05:19,271
Thanks.
134
00:05:19,272 --> 00:05:20,897
Potassi-yum.
135
00:05:20,898 --> 00:05:22,148
This was a great idea.
136
00:05:22,149 --> 00:05:24,317
It's like all the fun
of a wedding
137
00:05:24,318 --> 00:05:26,236
without the boredom
of a wedding!
138
00:05:26,237 --> 00:05:28,279
And who are you two?
139
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:29,989
Um, why, we're...
140
00:05:29,990 --> 00:05:31,532
wedding planners!
141
00:05:31,533 --> 00:05:34,285
Yes, and we're wondering
about your products.
142
00:05:34,286 --> 00:05:36,579
(giggles)
For our clients.
143
00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:40,208
Well, the Toast Master
is an AI-powered microphone
144
00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:42,669
that guarantees
your best man's toast
145
00:05:42,670 --> 00:05:45,380
will be heartwarming
and tasteful,
146
00:05:45,381 --> 00:05:48,758
no matter how drunk
or passive-aggressive he is.
147
00:05:48,759 --> 00:05:50,301
Ooh. Give it a try, Homie.
148
00:05:50,302 --> 00:05:52,950
Oh, I couldn't.
149
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,639
Pretend one of my sisters
is getting married.
150
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,474
That hairy-legged ashtray?
151
00:05:56,475 --> 00:05:58,170
Give me the mic.
152
00:05:58,180 --> 00:06:00,610
When I heard
a guy was marrying Selma,
153
00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:02,188
- I thought, That poor...
- MALE VOICE: Genius.
154
00:06:02,189 --> 00:06:04,232
- ...must be...
- Fully sighted.
155
00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:05,692
- ...and...
- Not marrying her
156
00:06:05,693 --> 00:06:06,734
to harvest her organs.
157
00:06:06,735 --> 00:06:08,111
(laughs)
158
00:06:08,112 --> 00:06:09,404
Thank God. The Heffernans.
159
00:06:09,405 --> 00:06:11,300
Oh, right. That's me.
160
00:06:11,310 --> 00:06:12,824
D.R. Heffernan.
161
00:06:12,825 --> 00:06:14,325
- (quietly): That's "Doctor."
- Right.
162
00:06:14,326 --> 00:06:16,350
Dr. D.R. Heffernan.
163
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,370
The keynote speech
is in two minutes.
164
00:06:18,380 --> 00:06:21,291
- What's a keynote speech?
- (chuckles)
165
00:06:21,292 --> 00:06:24,419
Imagine Dr. Heffernan asking me
what a keynote speech is.
166
00:06:24,420 --> 00:06:25,586
This way.
167
00:06:25,587 --> 00:06:27,463
Finally, things are looking up
168
00:06:27,464 --> 00:06:29,716
for the person
I'm pretending to be.
169
00:06:29,717 --> 00:06:31,301
(laughter)
170
00:06:31,302 --> 00:06:33,761
And the number one
new wedding trend is...
171
00:06:33,762 --> 00:06:35,763
True love!
172
00:06:35,764 --> 00:06:38,766
AUDIENCE:
True love! True love!
173
00:06:38,767 --> 00:06:41,853
Buy our book if we have one.
174
00:06:41,854 --> 00:06:44,606
I'm starting to think
that's not Dr. Heffernan.
175
00:06:46,775 --> 00:06:48,693
(moaning)
176
00:06:48,694 --> 00:06:50,236
(chuckles)
What a...
177
00:06:50,237 --> 00:06:53,156
(moans)
...perfect night.
178
00:06:53,157 --> 00:06:55,158
You wait here while I go...
179
00:06:55,159 --> 00:06:59,370
(seductively):
pay the babysitter.
180
00:06:59,380 --> 00:07:00,121
- (laughter)
- (loud music playing)
181
00:07:00,122 --> 00:07:01,581
I'm not paying you!
182
00:07:01,582 --> 00:07:03,167
Get out of my house!
183
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,754
-Later.
-And now, my lady,
to the boudoir,
184
00:07:07,755 --> 00:07:11,700
which I believe
is somewhere near the bedroom.
185
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:11,925
(chuckles):
Ooh!
186
00:07:11,926 --> 00:07:13,760
Ooh!
187
00:07:13,761 --> 00:07:16,179
(grunts)
Have I picked you up yet?
188
00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:18,140
I can't te-- Oh!
189
00:07:18,150 --> 00:07:19,182
(strained):
You're so light!
190
00:07:19,183 --> 00:07:20,725
(grunting)
191
00:07:20,726 --> 00:07:22,977
- Ow!
- (inhales deeply)
192
00:07:22,978 --> 00:07:24,103
(strained):
Perfect end to...
193
00:07:24,104 --> 00:07:26,640
perfect night!
194
00:07:26,650 --> 00:07:28,441
Voulez-vous coucher avec...
195
00:07:28,442 --> 00:07:30,360
- (cracking, popping)
- (screams)
196
00:07:30,361 --> 00:07:31,944
(grunting)
197
00:07:31,945 --> 00:07:34,364
- What the?! (shouting)
- Ow!
198
00:07:34,365 --> 00:07:36,949
(both groaning)
199
00:07:36,950 --> 00:07:39,577
I guess
we should stop listening now.
200
00:07:39,578 --> 00:07:40,829
No one's making you stay.
201
00:07:45,793 --> 00:07:48,127
Marge, I'm afraid your days
of walking are over.
202
00:07:48,128 --> 00:07:49,253
Oh, my God!
203
00:07:49,254 --> 00:07:51,214
For about 36 hours.
204
00:07:51,215 --> 00:07:53,716
By then, this mild ankle sprain
should be good as new.
205
00:07:53,717 --> 00:07:55,593
It's my fault.
206
00:07:55,594 --> 00:07:58,971
Homie wouldn't have dropped me
if I hadn't put on a few pounds.
207
00:07:58,972 --> 00:08:02,160
Nonsense. It's not your fault
you're married to a...
208
00:08:02,170 --> 00:08:03,851
this.
209
00:08:03,852 --> 00:08:05,520
(moans)
210
00:08:05,521 --> 00:08:08,106
And it was such
a good date night.
211
00:08:08,107 --> 00:08:09,941
Well, now it's a hernia morning.
212
00:08:09,942 --> 00:08:12,527
See, you've got a tear
in your abdominal wall
213
00:08:12,528 --> 00:08:15,154
and a section of your intestine
has pushed through.
214
00:08:15,155 --> 00:08:17,115
Aren't you going to chuckle?
215
00:08:17,116 --> 00:08:19,117
An inguinal hernia
is no laughing matter.
216
00:08:19,118 --> 00:08:20,326
(chuckles)
217
00:08:20,327 --> 00:08:21,577
"Inguinal."
218
00:08:21,578 --> 00:08:23,371
Will I need surgery?
219
00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:24,997
Possibly. But don't be alarmed.
220
00:08:24,998 --> 00:08:27,125
It's just some scalpel work
around your scrotum.
221
00:08:27,126 --> 00:08:28,960
(groans)
222
00:08:28,961 --> 00:08:31,337
- (engine revs, tires screech)
- A little more.
223
00:08:31,338 --> 00:08:33,131
- (engine revs, tires screech)
- Little more.
224
00:08:33,132 --> 00:08:35,258
- (engine revs, tires screech)
- Little more...
225
00:08:35,259 --> 00:08:37,135
No, those are the wipers!
226
00:08:37,136 --> 00:08:39,429
Oh, you just called OnStar.
227
00:08:39,430 --> 00:08:41,556
Now, look, you two,
you're not kids anymore.
228
00:08:41,557 --> 00:08:43,558
Listen to your body.
It'll tell you what to do.
229
00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:45,893
(engine revs, tires screech)
230
00:08:45,894 --> 00:08:47,190
WOMAN:
OnStar operator.
231
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,354
What is your emergency?
232
00:08:48,355 --> 00:08:50,648
Every comedian
I thought is funny
233
00:08:50,649 --> 00:08:52,400
is dead.
234
00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:56,280
♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show! ♪
235
00:08:56,290 --> 00:08:57,989
Hmm. "Possible side effects
236
00:08:57,990 --> 00:09:00,366
may include hallucinations..."
237
00:09:00,367 --> 00:09:02,702
(angrily):
...mm, "irritability,
238
00:09:02,703 --> 00:09:06,873
inability to fo... cus."
239
00:09:06,874 --> 00:09:09,167
Blah, blah, blah.
240
00:09:09,168 --> 00:09:10,960
"Do not mix with alcohol"?
241
00:09:10,961 --> 00:09:12,837
Fine, I'll drink it separately.
242
00:09:12,838 --> 00:09:14,256
Boy, get me a beer.
243
00:09:15,966 --> 00:09:18,217
- (Bart humming)
- (grunting)
244
00:09:18,218 --> 00:09:20,520
- Huh? What are you doing?
- (chuckles)
245
00:09:20,530 --> 00:09:21,950
Helping you get better.
246
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:22,513
I was watching Animal Planet,
247
00:09:22,514 --> 00:09:24,223
and they said,
if it can't reach its own food,
248
00:09:24,224 --> 00:09:25,850
the hippo dies.
249
00:09:25,851 --> 00:09:26,976
Why, you little...!
250
00:09:26,977 --> 00:09:28,686
(chuckles)
251
00:09:28,687 --> 00:09:31,272
Bart, honey,
your father and I need you
252
00:09:31,273 --> 00:09:33,274
to be a little more grown-up.
253
00:09:33,275 --> 00:09:34,317
Can you do that?
254
00:09:34,318 --> 00:09:35,860
I bet you can.
255
00:09:35,861 --> 00:09:37,488
You got it, Mom.
256
00:09:40,532 --> 00:09:42,158
(humming)
257
00:09:42,159 --> 00:09:45,244
Honey, I signed us up for
physical therapy this afternoon.
258
00:09:45,245 --> 00:09:47,380
They sound terrific.
259
00:09:47,390 --> 00:09:48,623
Even booking the appointment,
260
00:09:48,624 --> 00:09:50,583
they told me, "Great job."
261
00:09:50,584 --> 00:09:51,959
Absolutely.
262
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,127
I want to get better.
263
00:09:53,128 --> 00:09:54,378
I really do.
264
00:09:54,379 --> 00:09:55,546
I know you do.
265
00:09:55,547 --> 00:09:56,923
We'll start tomorrow.
266
00:09:56,924 --> 00:09:59,500
Mwah.
267
00:09:59,510 --> 00:10:01,177
MALE VOICE:
I would caution
against physical therapy.
268
00:10:01,178 --> 00:10:04,560
Guys like us
don't look good in shorts.
269
00:10:06,517 --> 00:10:09,143
Oh, why is it never hair growth?
270
00:10:09,144 --> 00:10:12,630
It's me, your hernia.
271
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,660
Homer, your doctor told you
to listen to your body.
272
00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:16,317
And I am telling you,
273
00:10:16,318 --> 00:10:18,861
just take it easy.
274
00:10:18,862 --> 00:10:19,696
Are you sure?
275
00:10:19,697 --> 00:10:21,656
I just promised Marge.
276
00:10:21,657 --> 00:10:24,750
Take it from your hernia.
277
00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:25,451
(giggles)
278
00:10:25,452 --> 00:10:27,578
(Marge grunting)
279
00:10:27,579 --> 00:10:29,497
(New Zealand accent):
Oh, you've got this, Marge!
280
00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:31,290
Now, focus on your co-ah.
281
00:10:31,291 --> 00:10:33,960
I guess I've been
neglecting my key-aah.
282
00:10:33,961 --> 00:10:35,461
Is it this?
283
00:10:35,462 --> 00:10:38,890
No. All I can say is,
if you have a muscle
284
00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:41,342
and you know what it does,
then that is not the co-ah.
285
00:10:41,343 --> 00:10:43,940
Oh, the core.
286
00:10:43,950 --> 00:10:44,679
Right, that's
what I said-- co-ah.
287
00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:47,640
Now, what sports are we
gettin' you ready for, Marge?
288
00:10:47,641 --> 00:10:49,642
Rollerblading? Uh, Muay Thai?
289
00:10:49,643 --> 00:10:51,978
No, nothing like that.
290
00:10:51,979 --> 00:10:54,210
I only have to be
in good enough shape
291
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:57,650
to take care
of an immobile 240-pound man.
292
00:10:57,651 --> 00:10:59,443
Ah, so Homer isn't coming, eh?
293
00:10:59,444 --> 00:11:01,696
You know,
I could go to him at work.
294
00:11:01,697 --> 00:11:03,949
Oh, he's got
enough stress at work.
295
00:11:06,243 --> 00:11:08,160
All right, well,
we'll get you into something.
296
00:11:08,161 --> 00:11:10,413
Uh, mountain biking?
Free bouldering?
297
00:11:10,414 --> 00:11:15,840
I got it. Marge, we are going
to get you kitesurfing!
298
00:11:15,850 --> 00:11:16,419
Kitesurfing?
299
00:11:16,420 --> 00:11:18,422
I could do that with Homie.
300
00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:24,428
(alarm blares)
301
00:11:25,178 --> 00:11:26,887
You know what?
302
00:11:26,888 --> 00:11:29,682
I'm not letting Homer
drag me down this time.
303
00:11:29,683 --> 00:11:32,685
Yes, I want to learn
kitesurfing.
304
00:11:32,686 --> 00:11:34,200
♪ Let's go kitesurfing now ♪
305
00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:35,563
♪ Middle-aged ladies
learning how ♪
306
00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:38,240
♪ Come on Kitesurf-ari
with me... ♪
307
00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:39,233
Kitesurfing's a simple sport.
308
00:11:39,234 --> 00:11:41,569
All you need is
the wind and the waves.
309
00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:45,323
And a spreader-bar, bindings,
impact vest, chicken loop,
310
00:11:45,324 --> 00:11:47,783
donkey stick, squirrel clip,
and, of course, parking pass.
311
00:11:47,784 --> 00:11:51,787
Yeah, ruining
people's day at the beach.
312
00:11:51,788 --> 00:11:54,749
We are worse than sand
in a hot dog, eh, Lou?
313
00:11:54,750 --> 00:11:56,417
You know there's
a double murder downtown?
314
00:11:56,418 --> 00:11:59,420
Well, now it's a triple,
'cause you just killed my day.
315
00:11:59,421 --> 00:12:00,963
Keep the kite swooping, Marge.
316
00:12:00,964 --> 00:12:02,965
Follow the timing of my pecs.
317
00:12:02,966 --> 00:12:05,900
Left, right, left, right,
318
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,218
left, left, right...
319
00:12:06,219 --> 00:12:08,304
Ah. Don't look me
in the eyes, Marge.
320
00:12:08,305 --> 00:12:09,847
My pecs are down here.
321
00:12:09,848 --> 00:12:11,349
There you are.
322
00:12:11,350 --> 00:12:13,477
Left, right,
left, left, right...
323
00:12:14,186 --> 00:12:17,630
So, Mom is kitesurfing
324
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,273
while Dad is eating
three desserts.
325
00:12:19,274 --> 00:12:22,860
Oh, your grandma and I
had our differences,
326
00:12:22,861 --> 00:12:27,198
but we stopped arguing when she
disappeared for three decades.
327
00:12:27,199 --> 00:12:28,283
Oh.
328
00:12:28,992 --> 00:12:30,451
Oh, it's so nice
329
00:12:30,452 --> 00:12:32,495
to get an evening out
just with you.
330
00:12:32,496 --> 00:12:34,121
Can I get you a baby chair?
331
00:12:34,122 --> 00:12:35,331
No? You're good?
332
00:12:35,332 --> 00:12:36,874
Homer's-a talking to nobody.
333
00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:39,126
The Cat Lady
is eating with cats.
334
00:12:39,127 --> 00:12:41,212
Ralph is in-a the lobster tank?
335
00:12:41,213 --> 00:12:43,130
I'm expensive.
336
00:12:43,131 --> 00:12:45,910
Homer, you're doing great.
337
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,635
Look at those guys--
eating half portions,
338
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:49,762
trying to stay fit.
339
00:12:49,763 --> 00:12:52,556
They're just setting
themselves up to meet my buddies
340
00:12:52,557 --> 00:12:55,893
Torn ACL and Pinched Nerve.
341
00:12:55,894 --> 00:12:57,395
Now, you, you're smart.
342
00:12:57,396 --> 00:12:59,855
The most strenuous thing
you're gonna do
343
00:12:59,856 --> 00:13:02,900
is fart
"The Star Spangled Banner."
344
00:13:02,901 --> 00:13:04,944
Mm, that's got
a difficult range.
345
00:13:04,945 --> 00:13:07,710
Is there an easier anthem?
346
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:11,158
Hey, the riskiest thing
we're gonna do is have lasagna.
347
00:13:11,159 --> 00:13:13,770
We just had lasagna.
348
00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:14,328
Have it again!
349
00:13:14,329 --> 00:13:16,380
Nobody's gonna stop you.
350
00:13:16,390 --> 00:13:17,666
I love you.
351
00:13:20,430 --> 00:13:21,544
Who are you?
352
00:13:21,545 --> 00:13:24,172
Cirrhosis. What's it to ya?
353
00:13:27,968 --> 00:13:30,940
Homer, I'm going to the beach.
354
00:13:30,950 --> 00:13:32,555
I packed lunch for two
if you want to come.
355
00:13:32,556 --> 00:13:33,973
Oh, the beach.
356
00:13:33,974 --> 00:13:35,933
Sure. Let's get sunstroke,
357
00:13:35,934 --> 00:13:38,269
a hyperextended tendon,
358
00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:41,897
and wrap it up by getting
decapitated by a Frisbee.
359
00:13:41,898 --> 00:13:43,733
Hard pass.
360
00:13:43,734 --> 00:13:45,943
Sorry, Marge. Hard pass.
361
00:13:45,944 --> 00:13:49,238
(sighs) It's been so long
since you made a move on me.
362
00:13:49,239 --> 00:13:51,115
Or any move.
363
00:13:51,116 --> 00:13:53,534
Um, how about
if I drone you a kiss?
364
00:13:53,535 --> 00:13:54,786
(kiss)
365
00:13:58,810 --> 00:13:59,248
(horn honks)
366
00:13:59,249 --> 00:14:00,791
Hurry up, Marge.
367
00:14:00,792 --> 00:14:02,877
We're gonna catch big air
all morning,
368
00:14:02,878 --> 00:14:05,796
sleep all afternoon,
then boil a sheep for breakfast.
369
00:14:05,797 --> 00:14:08,700
I'm still on New Zealand time.
370
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,426
Been here 12 years
but can't shake it.
371
00:14:10,427 --> 00:14:13,120
Please, Homer,
you're my husband.
372
00:14:13,130 --> 00:14:15,264
Get up and live.
373
00:14:15,265 --> 00:14:18,580
Sorry, Marge.
I got to go with my gut.
374
00:14:18,590 --> 00:14:19,686
- (yawns)
- (blows raspberry)
375
00:14:22,220 --> 00:14:25,609
If you don't come after me,
there's a big problem.
376
00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:29,290
The drone doesn't count.
377
00:14:34,117 --> 00:14:37,161
Hey. Can you watch the kids
this afternoon?
378
00:14:37,162 --> 00:14:38,746
Sorry, Marge.
379
00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:40,289
Hernia.
380
00:14:40,290 --> 00:14:41,999
We make quite a team.
381
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,751
Who are you talking to?
382
00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:46,860
Hey, I do not have voices
in my head.
383
00:14:46,870 --> 00:14:47,671
(quietly):
They're in my crotch.
384
00:14:47,672 --> 00:14:49,423
- (giggles)
- Ooh!
385
00:14:49,424 --> 00:14:52,469
Just call my sisters
to watch the kids.
386
00:14:54,554 --> 00:14:55,472
(snoring)
387
00:14:55,473 --> 00:14:57,223
Let's drop him in the woods
388
00:14:57,224 --> 00:14:59,184
and see if he can
find his way back.
389
00:15:03,647 --> 00:15:05,606
Our parents are drifting apart.
390
00:15:05,607 --> 00:15:08,192
And as much as
I don't enjoy doing this,
391
00:15:08,193 --> 00:15:10,903
I need the advice
of the only couple we know
392
00:15:10,904 --> 00:15:12,947
that seems to like each other.
393
00:15:12,948 --> 00:15:14,281
I'm stuck with you.
394
00:15:14,282 --> 00:15:16,992
Relationships
are simple, really.
395
00:15:16,993 --> 00:15:19,370
Like, if Shauna's best friend
Tiffany comes on to me,
396
00:15:19,371 --> 00:15:21,205
I make out with Shauna,
397
00:15:21,206 --> 00:15:23,332
but I pretend it's her friend.
398
00:15:23,333 --> 00:15:24,458
Aw.
399
00:15:24,459 --> 00:15:25,751
(moaning)
400
00:15:25,752 --> 00:15:27,670
Tiffany. Oh, yeah.
401
00:15:27,671 --> 00:15:29,213
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
402
00:15:29,214 --> 00:15:31,382
Guys. Guys, guys, guys.
Let's focus!
403
00:15:31,383 --> 00:15:32,383
Focus.
404
00:15:32,384 --> 00:15:34,552
Please give me something useful.
405
00:15:34,553 --> 00:15:37,540
Okay. Your parents
have just got to find
406
00:15:37,550 --> 00:15:39,980
something they both like doing.
407
00:15:39,990 --> 00:15:41,100
Like, I like laughing at losers.
408
00:15:41,101 --> 00:15:43,936
And I make losers happen.
409
00:15:43,937 --> 00:15:46,522
- (grunts)
- (laughing)
410
00:15:46,523 --> 00:15:48,941
(moaning)
411
00:15:48,942 --> 00:15:51,260
(gasps)
Common interests!
412
00:15:51,270 --> 00:15:52,280
Of course.
413
00:15:55,949 --> 00:15:57,199
TV ANNOUNCER:
Back now to live coverage
414
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,994
of Little XII college golf
on ESPN-D3-2,
415
00:15:59,995 --> 00:16:03,289
your second home
for Division III sports.
416
00:16:03,290 --> 00:16:05,416
Dad, can you drive us
down to the beach?
417
00:16:05,417 --> 00:16:08,252
I have a school project on...
sea turtles.
418
00:16:08,253 --> 00:16:10,171
Don't listen to them.
419
00:16:11,131 --> 00:16:13,507
You can see me?!
420
00:16:13,508 --> 00:16:15,677
It's always the babies.
421
00:16:19,973 --> 00:16:22,850
Hey. Where are the turtles?
422
00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:24,935
There are no turtles, Homer.
It's a trick.
423
00:16:24,936 --> 00:16:27,938
These kids are trying to help
you, 'cause they love you.
424
00:16:27,939 --> 00:16:31,233
So there never were turtles?
425
00:16:31,234 --> 00:16:32,276
No turtles!
426
00:16:32,277 --> 00:16:33,736
I'm starting to think
427
00:16:33,737 --> 00:16:36,363
there were no turtles.
428
00:16:36,364 --> 00:16:37,782
(gasps)
Marge.
429
00:16:38,950 --> 00:16:40,618
She looks so beautiful.
430
00:16:40,619 --> 00:16:42,578
I've been such a fool.
431
00:16:42,579 --> 00:16:46,810
And you forgot to get
a parking pass. Heh.
432
00:16:46,820 --> 00:16:47,959
Our work is done, Lou.
433
00:16:49,502 --> 00:16:50,754
(shudders):
Oh...
434
00:16:56,593 --> 00:16:59,511
I'll never let
myself go like that!
435
00:16:59,512 --> 00:17:01,431
I'm-a comin', Marge!
436
00:17:02,515 --> 00:17:04,267
Ew! Gross!
437
00:17:06,102 --> 00:17:08,312
Homer, you're making me mad.
438
00:17:08,313 --> 00:17:11,230
And if there's one thing
you don't want to aggravate,
439
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,260
it's a hernia!
440
00:17:17,113 --> 00:17:19,114
I'm Marge's husband, Homer.
441
00:17:19,115 --> 00:17:20,991
Homer! Good-o!
442
00:17:20,992 --> 00:17:22,910
Would you like me
to rehab you at work?
443
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:25,454
I could come right to you.
Same price.
444
00:17:25,455 --> 00:17:28,666
Maybe. But now I need
your biggest, fastest kite.
445
00:17:28,667 --> 00:17:29,833
- The Widdamaka?
- What?
446
00:17:29,834 --> 00:17:31,752
Can you say that
without an accent?
447
00:17:31,753 --> 00:17:33,921
-(without accent):
The Widowmaker.
-Oh! That's scary!
448
00:17:33,922 --> 00:17:35,923
- Back to the accent!
- The Widdamaka.
449
00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:37,490
I'll take it!
450
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,218
When I got married,
I took a vow:
451
00:17:39,219 --> 00:17:40,844
"Something, something, something
452
00:17:40,845 --> 00:17:42,722
till death something."
453
00:17:46,590 --> 00:17:47,726
(yelps)
454
00:17:47,727 --> 00:17:49,478
Homer! Rooster your gimbal!
455
00:17:49,479 --> 00:17:50,813
Rooster your gimbal!
456
00:17:50,814 --> 00:17:52,231
What does that mean?!
457
00:17:52,232 --> 00:17:53,650
Pull the rope!
458
00:17:55,402 --> 00:17:56,861
The other rope.
459
00:17:59,447 --> 00:18:00,948
Homie!
460
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:02,408
You came for me!
461
00:18:02,409 --> 00:18:04,410
And I'll never leave you.
462
00:18:04,411 --> 00:18:06,704
Except right now
when the wind blows me
463
00:18:06,705 --> 00:18:08,414
(fading):
God knows where....
464
00:18:08,415 --> 00:18:10,792
They're headed for a wind farm!
465
00:18:12,335 --> 00:18:13,669
(both gasp)
466
00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:16,296
BOTH:
Whoa...!
467
00:18:16,297 --> 00:18:17,631
(kiss)
468
00:18:17,632 --> 00:18:19,133
Whoa...!
469
00:18:19,134 --> 00:18:20,217
(kiss)
470
00:18:20,218 --> 00:18:22,137
Whoa...!
471
00:18:26,558 --> 00:18:28,892
(New England accent):
Well, Mother,
looks like we caught
472
00:18:28,893 --> 00:18:30,853
a couple more kiteboarders.
473
00:18:30,854 --> 00:18:33,897
- I'll get the big ladder.
- I'll tell the hospital
474
00:18:33,898 --> 00:18:36,901
their power's gonna be down
for a while.
475
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,946
Strong woman, I love you.
476
00:18:40,947 --> 00:18:43,741
(exhales)
And I love you.
477
00:18:43,742 --> 00:18:46,869
And never again
will I listen to a doctor.
478
00:18:46,870 --> 00:18:49,790
Wait, that's not the takeaway.
479
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:50,998
Takeaway?
That's a good idea!
480
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:53,250
Yello? Pizza Palace?
481
00:18:53,251 --> 00:18:55,169
Can I get
a Henry the Eight-Inch Pizza
482
00:18:55,170 --> 00:18:56,420
with extra meat?
483
00:18:56,421 --> 00:18:58,672
And a side
of chocolate cheesy bread?
484
00:18:58,673 --> 00:19:00,900
No such thing.
485
00:19:00,910 --> 00:19:01,760
- Can you make it anyways?
- (groans)
486
00:19:05,930 --> 00:19:08,140
Chief, I've got to make dinner
for my kids. Could you please
487
00:19:08,141 --> 00:19:10,893
- tell me what this is about?
- Like most physical therapists
488
00:19:10,894 --> 00:19:14,730
in America, this man
is actually a Russian spy.
489
00:19:14,731 --> 00:19:16,982
Nigel is a spy?
490
00:19:16,983 --> 00:19:18,400
Dimitri Nigelovonovitch.
491
00:19:18,401 --> 00:19:20,819
Did you ever wonder
why he was so interested
492
00:19:20,820 --> 00:19:22,780
in seeing your husband at work?
493
00:19:22,781 --> 00:19:24,948
I thought
it was close to his house.
494
00:19:24,949 --> 00:19:28,202
Didn't you ever ask yourself
how a beach bum like him
495
00:19:28,203 --> 00:19:31,538
could afford a top-of-the-line
2007 Saturn SUV
496
00:19:31,539 --> 00:19:33,373
with a full spare tire?
497
00:19:33,374 --> 00:19:35,709
I guess I didn't want to know.
498
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:39,881
Just thank God, thank God your
husband is entrapping him now.
499
00:19:41,341 --> 00:19:44,760
Homer, I just need
a few pictures of...
500
00:19:44,761 --> 00:19:46,428
the co-ah.
501
00:19:46,429 --> 00:19:48,430
- The what?
- Goo-ah.
502
00:19:48,431 --> 00:19:51,266
- The car?
- Goo-ah.
503
00:19:51,267 --> 00:19:53,393
Like a crow? Caw?
504
00:19:53,394 --> 00:19:55,620
Co-ahr-car?
505
00:19:55,630 --> 00:19:58,232
(Russian accent): Damn it.
Show me your reactor core.
506
00:19:58,233 --> 00:19:59,984
All units, move in!
507
00:20:04,197 --> 00:20:06,866
("Theme from
Mission: Impossible" playing)
508
00:20:14,666 --> 00:20:17,335
♪ ♪
509
00:20:23,883 --> 00:20:25,968
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
510
00:20:25,969 --> 00:20:27,261
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
511
00:20:27,262 --> 00:20:29,179
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
512
00:20:29,180 --> 00:20:31,182
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
513
00:21:09,262 --> 00:21:11,264
Shh!
32744
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