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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,463 --> 00:00:06,923 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:10,741 --> 00:00:12,492 (shrieks) 3 00:00:17,755 --> 00:00:19,590 (school bell rings) 4 00:00:21,508 --> 00:00:22,759 (belches) 5 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:23,719 (tires screech) 6 00:00:25,228 --> 00:00:27,229 D'oh! 7 00:00:27,230 --> 00:00:28,855 (grunts) 8 00:00:28,856 --> 00:00:31,240 (applause) 9 00:00:31,250 --> 00:00:32,984 (stammers): You sit on me. 10 00:00:32,985 --> 00:00:34,653 There's a remote in my crack. 11 00:00:34,654 --> 00:00:36,710 Uh, Problems I Have! 12 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:37,989 I could use a slip cover. 13 00:00:37,990 --> 00:00:39,908 Um, uh, Things Your Sister Would Say! 14 00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:41,993 No. Uh... (gasps) 15 00:00:41,994 --> 00:00:44,122 You haven't replaced me since 1989. 16 00:00:44,915 --> 00:00:46,916 Things a Couch Would Say! 17 00:00:46,917 --> 00:00:49,710 - Yes! - (bell dinging) 18 00:00:49,711 --> 00:00:51,713 ♪ ♪ 19 00:00:56,499 --> 00:00:58,959 Hopefully, we won't be out too late, Shauna. 20 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,335 (Valley girl accent): Whatever. 21 00:01:00,336 --> 00:01:01,461 And just for the night, 22 00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:03,130 could you lose the tongue ring? 23 00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:04,673 Whatever. 24 00:01:04,674 --> 00:01:07,425 Homer, is it too late to change babysitters? 25 00:01:07,426 --> 00:01:08,510 Yes. 26 00:01:08,511 --> 00:01:10,262 So I'll have to stay home. 27 00:01:10,263 --> 00:01:12,848 I don't think we have to-- Homer. 28 00:01:12,849 --> 00:01:14,391 Yes, Marge?! 29 00:01:14,392 --> 00:01:17,978 We both have to go to Drug Awareness Night! 30 00:01:17,979 --> 00:01:20,730 (sighs) I guess we have no choice. 31 00:01:20,731 --> 00:01:23,400 Here's the number for the poison control center, 32 00:01:23,401 --> 00:01:25,160 the allergy hotline, 33 00:01:25,162 --> 00:01:27,163 and, if the kids misbehave, 34 00:01:27,164 --> 00:01:28,832 Papa John's Pizza. 35 00:01:28,833 --> 00:01:30,208 Don't worry, Mrs. Simpson. 36 00:01:30,209 --> 00:01:32,127 We'll take great care of your kids. 37 00:01:32,128 --> 00:01:33,870 "We"? 38 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:34,629 Uh, me and God. 39 00:01:34,630 --> 00:01:36,470 Okay, then. 40 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:37,967 We'll see you soon. 41 00:01:40,110 --> 00:01:43,138 (moaning) 42 00:01:43,139 --> 00:01:47,580 Want to watch videos of pythons swallowing stuff? 43 00:01:47,590 --> 00:01:50,270 Uh, can't we watch something with kittens? 44 00:01:50,271 --> 00:01:52,188 Oh, there's kittens in there. 45 00:01:52,189 --> 00:01:53,482 (kitten meows) 46 00:01:56,110 --> 00:01:58,153 This is pointless. 47 00:01:58,154 --> 00:02:00,739 We learned all the new dangerous drugs last year: 48 00:02:00,740 --> 00:02:03,616 sprack, zup, borzo, and crystal bam. 49 00:02:03,617 --> 00:02:06,770 I hear they're mixing bam with zup. 50 00:02:06,780 --> 00:02:07,203 Interesting. 51 00:02:07,204 --> 00:02:09,789 Bam and zup. (chuckles) 52 00:02:09,790 --> 00:02:12,125 This seminar's already paying for itself. 53 00:02:12,126 --> 00:02:14,461 Homer Simpson, are you watching football 54 00:02:14,462 --> 00:02:16,546 through your pants pocket? 55 00:02:16,547 --> 00:02:20,508 But do you know how much love is lost between these teams? 56 00:02:20,509 --> 00:02:21,551 None! 57 00:02:21,552 --> 00:02:24,950 Turn it off! 58 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,306 This bag of concentrated death 59 00:02:26,307 --> 00:02:29,642 is what the kids today call "blizzard." 60 00:02:29,643 --> 00:02:31,190 Allow me to demonstrate. 61 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,146 On Skin-ner! 62 00:02:33,147 --> 00:02:35,857 Superintendent, I-I must protest. 63 00:02:35,858 --> 00:02:38,680 I'm an educational professional who... 64 00:02:38,690 --> 00:02:40,445 - (grunting) - That's a good boy. 65 00:02:40,446 --> 00:02:41,529 Take your medicine. 66 00:02:41,530 --> 00:02:42,490 (inhales, sighs) 67 00:02:42,491 --> 00:02:44,991 Oh, let's get out of here. 68 00:02:44,992 --> 00:02:47,911 I guess we can watch the PowerPoint presentation 69 00:02:47,912 --> 00:02:49,204 in bed tonight. 70 00:02:49,205 --> 00:02:51,414 Oh, that sounds magical. 71 00:02:51,415 --> 00:02:53,667 (quietly): Just don't be conspicuous. 72 00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:56,419 (phone ringing) 73 00:02:56,420 --> 00:02:57,420 Ooh, it's Lenny. 74 00:02:57,421 --> 00:02:59,589 Homer, I found my birth mom! 75 00:02:59,590 --> 00:03:02,342 Her name is Cheryl, and she wants nothing to do with... 76 00:03:02,343 --> 00:03:03,552 (Marge groans) 77 00:03:04,345 --> 00:03:07,180 (gasps) A wedding expo! 78 00:03:07,181 --> 00:03:09,808 Marge, there is no way I'd ever be interested in-- 79 00:03:09,809 --> 00:03:11,226 Is there a girl in that cake? 80 00:03:11,227 --> 00:03:13,610 No, just cake. 81 00:03:13,620 --> 00:03:15,438 Oh... that is so sexy. 82 00:03:15,439 --> 00:03:16,773 After you, Marge. 83 00:03:16,774 --> 00:03:19,275 Ooh, a wedding expo! 84 00:03:19,276 --> 00:03:22,737 It's like going to a thousand weddings at once. 85 00:03:22,738 --> 00:03:26,616 Sneaking in will be the most romantic thing we've ever done. 86 00:03:26,617 --> 00:03:28,340 More than our real wedding? 87 00:03:28,350 --> 00:03:30,286 A thousand times more. 88 00:03:30,287 --> 00:03:33,248 I was pregnant, and you had a fever of 103. 89 00:03:33,249 --> 00:03:36,840 103.4. 90 00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,754 Aw, you remembered. 91 00:03:41,456 --> 00:03:45,622 For subtitling services, contatct: waqas.zahoor89@gmail.com 92 00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:47,847 ("Allegro Non Molto" from Vivaldi's Four Seasons playing) 93 00:03:50,641 --> 00:03:53,351 (sniffles) It's so beautiful. 94 00:03:53,352 --> 00:03:54,894 (sniffles) Oh. 95 00:03:54,895 --> 00:03:57,898 Even the prenups are gorgeous. 96 00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:02,260 (techno music playing) 97 00:04:02,270 --> 00:04:03,987 Your bride will look radiant 98 00:04:03,988 --> 00:04:06,114 next to these hideous bridesmaids dresses 99 00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:08,575 made in colors known to scare seagulls. 100 00:04:08,576 --> 00:04:11,770 Oh, so beautiful! 101 00:04:11,780 --> 00:04:12,287 Come back here, you. 102 00:04:12,288 --> 00:04:14,998 You've got 12 more drugs to test. 103 00:04:14,999 --> 00:04:18,419 I both see and am God. 104 00:04:19,461 --> 00:04:21,254 (suspenseful music playing) 105 00:04:21,255 --> 00:04:24,299 Who will protect me when you die? 106 00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:26,676 Nothing's gonna happen to... 107 00:04:26,677 --> 00:04:27,553 (grunts) 108 00:04:27,554 --> 00:04:29,262 Does this house have a mixer? 109 00:04:29,263 --> 00:04:30,889 We could make face cookies. 110 00:04:30,890 --> 00:04:32,599 (chuckles) 111 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,685 Aw! You're gonna make such a good dad. 112 00:04:35,686 --> 00:04:38,229 (moaning) 113 00:04:38,230 --> 00:04:40,106 (groans) I feel like a walk. 114 00:04:40,107 --> 00:04:41,774 You want to take a walk? 115 00:04:41,775 --> 00:04:45,236 I feel glued to my seat for reasons I don't understand. 116 00:04:45,237 --> 00:04:46,487 It's all over, sweetheart. 117 00:04:46,488 --> 00:04:48,198 The curse is broken. 118 00:04:48,199 --> 00:04:50,783 Grandma will take care of you from now o... 119 00:04:50,784 --> 00:04:52,785 - (groans) - (buzzing) 120 00:04:52,786 --> 00:04:53,870 Ah! 121 00:04:53,871 --> 00:04:56,248 Come on! 122 00:04:57,583 --> 00:04:59,830 (Shauna giggling) 123 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:00,793 JIMBO: Let's see if we can both fit 124 00:05:00,794 --> 00:05:02,545 in Homer's underwear. 125 00:05:02,546 --> 00:05:04,380 This is very sobering. 126 00:05:04,381 --> 00:05:07,910 Why did we think this would be cool? 127 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:08,801 What are you kids doing out so late? 128 00:05:08,802 --> 00:05:10,845 Babysitter party at our house. 129 00:05:10,846 --> 00:05:12,931 Why don't you come inside for a mug of cocoa? 130 00:05:12,932 --> 00:05:14,682 - (ding) - Coco-nut, that is, 131 00:05:14,683 --> 00:05:17,352 to fill your belly with much-needed potassium. 132 00:05:17,353 --> 00:05:18,312 (chuckles): Grins, people. 133 00:05:18,312 --> 00:05:19,271 Thanks. 134 00:05:19,272 --> 00:05:20,897 Potassi-yum. 135 00:05:20,898 --> 00:05:22,148 This was a great idea. 136 00:05:22,149 --> 00:05:24,317 It's like all the fun of a wedding 137 00:05:24,318 --> 00:05:26,236 without the boredom of a wedding! 138 00:05:26,237 --> 00:05:28,279 And who are you two? 139 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:29,989 Um, why, we're... 140 00:05:29,990 --> 00:05:31,532 wedding planners! 141 00:05:31,533 --> 00:05:34,285 Yes, and we're wondering about your products. 142 00:05:34,286 --> 00:05:36,579 (giggles) For our clients. 143 00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:40,208 Well, the Toast Master is an AI-powered microphone 144 00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:42,669 that guarantees your best man's toast 145 00:05:42,670 --> 00:05:45,380 will be heartwarming and tasteful, 146 00:05:45,381 --> 00:05:48,758 no matter how drunk or passive-aggressive he is. 147 00:05:48,759 --> 00:05:50,301 Ooh. Give it a try, Homie. 148 00:05:50,302 --> 00:05:52,950 Oh, I couldn't. 149 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,639 Pretend one of my sisters is getting married. 150 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,474 That hairy-legged ashtray? 151 00:05:56,475 --> 00:05:58,170 Give me the mic. 152 00:05:58,180 --> 00:06:00,610 When I heard a guy was marrying Selma, 153 00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:02,188 - I thought, That poor... - MALE VOICE: Genius. 154 00:06:02,189 --> 00:06:04,232 - ...must be... - Fully sighted. 155 00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:05,692 - ...and... - Not marrying her 156 00:06:05,693 --> 00:06:06,734 to harvest her organs. 157 00:06:06,735 --> 00:06:08,111 (laughs) 158 00:06:08,112 --> 00:06:09,404 Thank God. The Heffernans. 159 00:06:09,405 --> 00:06:11,300 Oh, right. That's me. 160 00:06:11,310 --> 00:06:12,824 D.R. Heffernan. 161 00:06:12,825 --> 00:06:14,325 - (quietly): That's "Doctor." - Right. 162 00:06:14,326 --> 00:06:16,350 Dr. D.R. Heffernan. 163 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,370 The keynote speech is in two minutes. 164 00:06:18,380 --> 00:06:21,291 - What's a keynote speech? - (chuckles) 165 00:06:21,292 --> 00:06:24,419 Imagine Dr. Heffernan asking me what a keynote speech is. 166 00:06:24,420 --> 00:06:25,586 This way. 167 00:06:25,587 --> 00:06:27,463 Finally, things are looking up 168 00:06:27,464 --> 00:06:29,716 for the person I'm pretending to be. 169 00:06:29,717 --> 00:06:31,301 (laughter) 170 00:06:31,302 --> 00:06:33,761 And the number one new wedding trend is... 171 00:06:33,762 --> 00:06:35,763 True love! 172 00:06:35,764 --> 00:06:38,766 AUDIENCE: True love! True love! 173 00:06:38,767 --> 00:06:41,853 Buy our book if we have one. 174 00:06:41,854 --> 00:06:44,606 I'm starting to think that's not Dr. Heffernan. 175 00:06:46,775 --> 00:06:48,693 (moaning) 176 00:06:48,694 --> 00:06:50,236 (chuckles) What a... 177 00:06:50,237 --> 00:06:53,156 (moans) ...perfect night. 178 00:06:53,157 --> 00:06:55,158 You wait here while I go... 179 00:06:55,159 --> 00:06:59,370 (seductively): pay the babysitter. 180 00:06:59,380 --> 00:07:00,121 - (laughter) - (loud music playing) 181 00:07:00,122 --> 00:07:01,581 I'm not paying you! 182 00:07:01,582 --> 00:07:03,167 Get out of my house! 183 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,754 -Later. -And now, my lady, to the boudoir, 184 00:07:07,755 --> 00:07:11,700 which I believe is somewhere near the bedroom. 185 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:11,925 (chuckles): Ooh! 186 00:07:11,926 --> 00:07:13,760 Ooh! 187 00:07:13,761 --> 00:07:16,179 (grunts) Have I picked you up yet? 188 00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:18,140 I can't te-- Oh! 189 00:07:18,150 --> 00:07:19,182 (strained): You're so light! 190 00:07:19,183 --> 00:07:20,725 (grunting) 191 00:07:20,726 --> 00:07:22,977 - Ow! - (inhales deeply) 192 00:07:22,978 --> 00:07:24,103 (strained): Perfect end to... 193 00:07:24,104 --> 00:07:26,640 perfect night! 194 00:07:26,650 --> 00:07:28,441 Voulez-vous coucher avec... 195 00:07:28,442 --> 00:07:30,360 - (cracking, popping) - (screams) 196 00:07:30,361 --> 00:07:31,944 (grunting) 197 00:07:31,945 --> 00:07:34,364 - What the?! (shouting) - Ow! 198 00:07:34,365 --> 00:07:36,949 (both groaning) 199 00:07:36,950 --> 00:07:39,577 I guess we should stop listening now. 200 00:07:39,578 --> 00:07:40,829 No one's making you stay. 201 00:07:45,793 --> 00:07:48,127 Marge, I'm afraid your days of walking are over. 202 00:07:48,128 --> 00:07:49,253 Oh, my God! 203 00:07:49,254 --> 00:07:51,214 For about 36 hours. 204 00:07:51,215 --> 00:07:53,716 By then, this mild ankle sprain should be good as new. 205 00:07:53,717 --> 00:07:55,593 It's my fault. 206 00:07:55,594 --> 00:07:58,971 Homie wouldn't have dropped me if I hadn't put on a few pounds. 207 00:07:58,972 --> 00:08:02,160 Nonsense. It's not your fault you're married to a... 208 00:08:02,170 --> 00:08:03,851 this. 209 00:08:03,852 --> 00:08:05,520 (moans) 210 00:08:05,521 --> 00:08:08,106 And it was such a good date night. 211 00:08:08,107 --> 00:08:09,941 Well, now it's a hernia morning. 212 00:08:09,942 --> 00:08:12,527 See, you've got a tear in your abdominal wall 213 00:08:12,528 --> 00:08:15,154 and a section of your intestine has pushed through. 214 00:08:15,155 --> 00:08:17,115 Aren't you going to chuckle? 215 00:08:17,116 --> 00:08:19,117 An inguinal hernia is no laughing matter. 216 00:08:19,118 --> 00:08:20,326 (chuckles) 217 00:08:20,327 --> 00:08:21,577 "Inguinal." 218 00:08:21,578 --> 00:08:23,371 Will I need surgery? 219 00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:24,997 Possibly. But don't be alarmed. 220 00:08:24,998 --> 00:08:27,125 It's just some scalpel work around your scrotum. 221 00:08:27,126 --> 00:08:28,960 (groans) 222 00:08:28,961 --> 00:08:31,337 - (engine revs, tires screech) - A little more. 223 00:08:31,338 --> 00:08:33,131 - (engine revs, tires screech) - Little more. 224 00:08:33,132 --> 00:08:35,258 - (engine revs, tires screech) - Little more... 225 00:08:35,259 --> 00:08:37,135 No, those are the wipers! 226 00:08:37,136 --> 00:08:39,429 Oh, you just called OnStar. 227 00:08:39,430 --> 00:08:41,556 Now, look, you two, you're not kids anymore. 228 00:08:41,557 --> 00:08:43,558 Listen to your body. It'll tell you what to do. 229 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:45,893 (engine revs, tires screech) 230 00:08:45,894 --> 00:08:47,190 WOMAN: OnStar operator. 231 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,354 What is your emergency? 232 00:08:48,355 --> 00:08:50,648 Every comedian I thought is funny 233 00:08:50,649 --> 00:08:52,400 is dead. 234 00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:56,280 ♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show! ♪ 235 00:08:56,290 --> 00:08:57,989 Hmm. "Possible side effects 236 00:08:57,990 --> 00:09:00,366 may include hallucinations..." 237 00:09:00,367 --> 00:09:02,702 (angrily): ...mm, "irritability, 238 00:09:02,703 --> 00:09:06,873 inability to fo... cus." 239 00:09:06,874 --> 00:09:09,167 Blah, blah, blah. 240 00:09:09,168 --> 00:09:10,960 "Do not mix with alcohol"? 241 00:09:10,961 --> 00:09:12,837 Fine, I'll drink it separately. 242 00:09:12,838 --> 00:09:14,256 Boy, get me a beer. 243 00:09:15,966 --> 00:09:18,217 - (Bart humming) - (grunting) 244 00:09:18,218 --> 00:09:20,520 - Huh? What are you doing? - (chuckles) 245 00:09:20,530 --> 00:09:21,950 Helping you get better. 246 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:22,513 I was watching Animal Planet, 247 00:09:22,514 --> 00:09:24,223 and they said, if it can't reach its own food, 248 00:09:24,224 --> 00:09:25,850 the hippo dies. 249 00:09:25,851 --> 00:09:26,976 Why, you little...! 250 00:09:26,977 --> 00:09:28,686 (chuckles) 251 00:09:28,687 --> 00:09:31,272 Bart, honey, your father and I need you 252 00:09:31,273 --> 00:09:33,274 to be a little more grown-up. 253 00:09:33,275 --> 00:09:34,317 Can you do that? 254 00:09:34,318 --> 00:09:35,860 I bet you can. 255 00:09:35,861 --> 00:09:37,488 You got it, Mom. 256 00:09:40,532 --> 00:09:42,158 (humming) 257 00:09:42,159 --> 00:09:45,244 Honey, I signed us up for physical therapy this afternoon. 258 00:09:45,245 --> 00:09:47,380 They sound terrific. 259 00:09:47,390 --> 00:09:48,623 Even booking the appointment, 260 00:09:48,624 --> 00:09:50,583 they told me, "Great job." 261 00:09:50,584 --> 00:09:51,959 Absolutely. 262 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,127 I want to get better. 263 00:09:53,128 --> 00:09:54,378 I really do. 264 00:09:54,379 --> 00:09:55,546 I know you do. 265 00:09:55,547 --> 00:09:56,923 We'll start tomorrow. 266 00:09:56,924 --> 00:09:59,500 Mwah. 267 00:09:59,510 --> 00:10:01,177 MALE VOICE: I would caution against physical therapy. 268 00:10:01,178 --> 00:10:04,560 Guys like us don't look good in shorts. 269 00:10:06,517 --> 00:10:09,143 Oh, why is it never hair growth? 270 00:10:09,144 --> 00:10:12,630 It's me, your hernia. 271 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,660 Homer, your doctor told you to listen to your body. 272 00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:16,317 And I am telling you, 273 00:10:16,318 --> 00:10:18,861 just take it easy. 274 00:10:18,862 --> 00:10:19,696 Are you sure? 275 00:10:19,697 --> 00:10:21,656 I just promised Marge. 276 00:10:21,657 --> 00:10:24,750 Take it from your hernia. 277 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:25,451 (giggles) 278 00:10:25,452 --> 00:10:27,578 (Marge grunting) 279 00:10:27,579 --> 00:10:29,497 (New Zealand accent): Oh, you've got this, Marge! 280 00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:31,290 Now, focus on your co-ah. 281 00:10:31,291 --> 00:10:33,960 I guess I've been neglecting my key-aah. 282 00:10:33,961 --> 00:10:35,461 Is it this? 283 00:10:35,462 --> 00:10:38,890 No. All I can say is, if you have a muscle 284 00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:41,342 and you know what it does, then that is not the co-ah. 285 00:10:41,343 --> 00:10:43,940 Oh, the core. 286 00:10:43,950 --> 00:10:44,679 Right, that's what I said-- co-ah. 287 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:47,640 Now, what sports are we gettin' you ready for, Marge? 288 00:10:47,641 --> 00:10:49,642 Rollerblading? Uh, Muay Thai? 289 00:10:49,643 --> 00:10:51,978 No, nothing like that. 290 00:10:51,979 --> 00:10:54,210 I only have to be in good enough shape 291 00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:57,650 to take care of an immobile 240-pound man. 292 00:10:57,651 --> 00:10:59,443 Ah, so Homer isn't coming, eh? 293 00:10:59,444 --> 00:11:01,696 You know, I could go to him at work. 294 00:11:01,697 --> 00:11:03,949 Oh, he's got enough stress at work. 295 00:11:06,243 --> 00:11:08,160 All right, well, we'll get you into something. 296 00:11:08,161 --> 00:11:10,413 Uh, mountain biking? Free bouldering? 297 00:11:10,414 --> 00:11:15,840 I got it. Marge, we are going to get you kitesurfing! 298 00:11:15,850 --> 00:11:16,419 Kitesurfing? 299 00:11:16,420 --> 00:11:18,422 I could do that with Homie. 300 00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:24,428 (alarm blares) 301 00:11:25,178 --> 00:11:26,887 You know what? 302 00:11:26,888 --> 00:11:29,682 I'm not letting Homer drag me down this time. 303 00:11:29,683 --> 00:11:32,685 Yes, I want to learn kitesurfing. 304 00:11:32,686 --> 00:11:34,200 ♪ Let's go kitesurfing now ♪ 305 00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:35,563 ♪ Middle-aged ladies learning how ♪ 306 00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:38,240 ♪ Come on Kitesurf-ari with me... ♪ 307 00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:39,233 Kitesurfing's a simple sport. 308 00:11:39,234 --> 00:11:41,569 All you need is the wind and the waves. 309 00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:45,323 And a spreader-bar, bindings, impact vest, chicken loop, 310 00:11:45,324 --> 00:11:47,783 donkey stick, squirrel clip, and, of course, parking pass. 311 00:11:47,784 --> 00:11:51,787 Yeah, ruining people's day at the beach. 312 00:11:51,788 --> 00:11:54,749 We are worse than sand in a hot dog, eh, Lou? 313 00:11:54,750 --> 00:11:56,417 You know there's a double murder downtown? 314 00:11:56,418 --> 00:11:59,420 Well, now it's a triple, 'cause you just killed my day. 315 00:11:59,421 --> 00:12:00,963 Keep the kite swooping, Marge. 316 00:12:00,964 --> 00:12:02,965 Follow the timing of my pecs. 317 00:12:02,966 --> 00:12:05,900 Left, right, left, right, 318 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,218 left, left, right... 319 00:12:06,219 --> 00:12:08,304 Ah. Don't look me in the eyes, Marge. 320 00:12:08,305 --> 00:12:09,847 My pecs are down here. 321 00:12:09,848 --> 00:12:11,349 There you are. 322 00:12:11,350 --> 00:12:13,477 Left, right, left, left, right... 323 00:12:14,186 --> 00:12:17,630 So, Mom is kitesurfing 324 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,273 while Dad is eating three desserts. 325 00:12:19,274 --> 00:12:22,860 Oh, your grandma and I had our differences, 326 00:12:22,861 --> 00:12:27,198 but we stopped arguing when she disappeared for three decades. 327 00:12:27,199 --> 00:12:28,283 Oh. 328 00:12:28,992 --> 00:12:30,451 Oh, it's so nice 329 00:12:30,452 --> 00:12:32,495 to get an evening out just with you. 330 00:12:32,496 --> 00:12:34,121 Can I get you a baby chair? 331 00:12:34,122 --> 00:12:35,331 No? You're good? 332 00:12:35,332 --> 00:12:36,874 Homer's-a talking to nobody. 333 00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:39,126 The Cat Lady is eating with cats. 334 00:12:39,127 --> 00:12:41,212 Ralph is in-a the lobster tank? 335 00:12:41,213 --> 00:12:43,130 I'm expensive. 336 00:12:43,131 --> 00:12:45,910 Homer, you're doing great. 337 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,635 Look at those guys-- eating half portions, 338 00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:49,762 trying to stay fit. 339 00:12:49,763 --> 00:12:52,556 They're just setting themselves up to meet my buddies 340 00:12:52,557 --> 00:12:55,893 Torn ACL and Pinched Nerve. 341 00:12:55,894 --> 00:12:57,395 Now, you, you're smart. 342 00:12:57,396 --> 00:12:59,855 The most strenuous thing you're gonna do 343 00:12:59,856 --> 00:13:02,900 is fart "The Star Spangled Banner." 344 00:13:02,901 --> 00:13:04,944 Mm, that's got a difficult range. 345 00:13:04,945 --> 00:13:07,710 Is there an easier anthem? 346 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:11,158 Hey, the riskiest thing we're gonna do is have lasagna. 347 00:13:11,159 --> 00:13:13,770 We just had lasagna. 348 00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:14,328 Have it again! 349 00:13:14,329 --> 00:13:16,380 Nobody's gonna stop you. 350 00:13:16,390 --> 00:13:17,666 I love you. 351 00:13:20,430 --> 00:13:21,544 Who are you? 352 00:13:21,545 --> 00:13:24,172 Cirrhosis. What's it to ya? 353 00:13:27,968 --> 00:13:30,940 Homer, I'm going to the beach. 354 00:13:30,950 --> 00:13:32,555 I packed lunch for two if you want to come. 355 00:13:32,556 --> 00:13:33,973 Oh, the beach. 356 00:13:33,974 --> 00:13:35,933 Sure. Let's get sunstroke, 357 00:13:35,934 --> 00:13:38,269 a hyperextended tendon, 358 00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:41,897 and wrap it up by getting decapitated by a Frisbee. 359 00:13:41,898 --> 00:13:43,733 Hard pass. 360 00:13:43,734 --> 00:13:45,943 Sorry, Marge. Hard pass. 361 00:13:45,944 --> 00:13:49,238 (sighs) It's been so long since you made a move on me. 362 00:13:49,239 --> 00:13:51,115 Or any move. 363 00:13:51,116 --> 00:13:53,534 Um, how about if I drone you a kiss? 364 00:13:53,535 --> 00:13:54,786 (kiss) 365 00:13:58,810 --> 00:13:59,248 (horn honks) 366 00:13:59,249 --> 00:14:00,791 Hurry up, Marge. 367 00:14:00,792 --> 00:14:02,877 We're gonna catch big air all morning, 368 00:14:02,878 --> 00:14:05,796 sleep all afternoon, then boil a sheep for breakfast. 369 00:14:05,797 --> 00:14:08,700 I'm still on New Zealand time. 370 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,426 Been here 12 years but can't shake it. 371 00:14:10,427 --> 00:14:13,120 Please, Homer, you're my husband. 372 00:14:13,130 --> 00:14:15,264 Get up and live. 373 00:14:15,265 --> 00:14:18,580 Sorry, Marge. I got to go with my gut. 374 00:14:18,590 --> 00:14:19,686 - (yawns) - (blows raspberry) 375 00:14:22,220 --> 00:14:25,609 If you don't come after me, there's a big problem. 376 00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:29,290 The drone doesn't count. 377 00:14:34,117 --> 00:14:37,161 Hey. Can you watch the kids this afternoon? 378 00:14:37,162 --> 00:14:38,746 Sorry, Marge. 379 00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:40,289 Hernia. 380 00:14:40,290 --> 00:14:41,999 We make quite a team. 381 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,751 Who are you talking to? 382 00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:46,860 Hey, I do not have voices in my head. 383 00:14:46,870 --> 00:14:47,671 (quietly): They're in my crotch. 384 00:14:47,672 --> 00:14:49,423 - (giggles) - Ooh! 385 00:14:49,424 --> 00:14:52,469 Just call my sisters to watch the kids. 386 00:14:54,554 --> 00:14:55,472 (snoring) 387 00:14:55,473 --> 00:14:57,223 Let's drop him in the woods 388 00:14:57,224 --> 00:14:59,184 and see if he can find his way back. 389 00:15:03,647 --> 00:15:05,606 Our parents are drifting apart. 390 00:15:05,607 --> 00:15:08,192 And as much as I don't enjoy doing this, 391 00:15:08,193 --> 00:15:10,903 I need the advice of the only couple we know 392 00:15:10,904 --> 00:15:12,947 that seems to like each other. 393 00:15:12,948 --> 00:15:14,281 I'm stuck with you. 394 00:15:14,282 --> 00:15:16,992 Relationships are simple, really. 395 00:15:16,993 --> 00:15:19,370 Like, if Shauna's best friend Tiffany comes on to me, 396 00:15:19,371 --> 00:15:21,205 I make out with Shauna, 397 00:15:21,206 --> 00:15:23,332 but I pretend it's her friend. 398 00:15:23,333 --> 00:15:24,458 Aw. 399 00:15:24,459 --> 00:15:25,751 (moaning) 400 00:15:25,752 --> 00:15:27,670 Tiffany. Oh, yeah. 401 00:15:27,671 --> 00:15:29,213 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 402 00:15:29,214 --> 00:15:31,382 Guys. Guys, guys, guys. Let's focus! 403 00:15:31,383 --> 00:15:32,383 Focus. 404 00:15:32,384 --> 00:15:34,552 Please give me something useful. 405 00:15:34,553 --> 00:15:37,540 Okay. Your parents have just got to find 406 00:15:37,550 --> 00:15:39,980 something they both like doing. 407 00:15:39,990 --> 00:15:41,100 Like, I like laughing at losers. 408 00:15:41,101 --> 00:15:43,936 And I make losers happen. 409 00:15:43,937 --> 00:15:46,522 - (grunts) - (laughing) 410 00:15:46,523 --> 00:15:48,941 (moaning) 411 00:15:48,942 --> 00:15:51,260 (gasps) Common interests! 412 00:15:51,270 --> 00:15:52,280 Of course. 413 00:15:55,949 --> 00:15:57,199 TV ANNOUNCER: Back now to live coverage 414 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,994 of Little XII college golf on ESPN-D3-2, 415 00:15:59,995 --> 00:16:03,289 your second home for Division III sports. 416 00:16:03,290 --> 00:16:05,416 Dad, can you drive us down to the beach? 417 00:16:05,417 --> 00:16:08,252 I have a school project on... sea turtles. 418 00:16:08,253 --> 00:16:10,171 Don't listen to them. 419 00:16:11,131 --> 00:16:13,507 You can see me?! 420 00:16:13,508 --> 00:16:15,677 It's always the babies. 421 00:16:19,973 --> 00:16:22,850 Hey. Where are the turtles? 422 00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:24,935 There are no turtles, Homer. It's a trick. 423 00:16:24,936 --> 00:16:27,938 These kids are trying to help you, 'cause they love you. 424 00:16:27,939 --> 00:16:31,233 So there never were turtles? 425 00:16:31,234 --> 00:16:32,276 No turtles! 426 00:16:32,277 --> 00:16:33,736 I'm starting to think 427 00:16:33,737 --> 00:16:36,363 there were no turtles. 428 00:16:36,364 --> 00:16:37,782 (gasps) Marge. 429 00:16:38,950 --> 00:16:40,618 She looks so beautiful. 430 00:16:40,619 --> 00:16:42,578 I've been such a fool. 431 00:16:42,579 --> 00:16:46,810 And you forgot to get a parking pass. Heh. 432 00:16:46,820 --> 00:16:47,959 Our work is done, Lou. 433 00:16:49,502 --> 00:16:50,754 (shudders): Oh... 434 00:16:56,593 --> 00:16:59,511 I'll never let myself go like that! 435 00:16:59,512 --> 00:17:01,431 I'm-a comin', Marge! 436 00:17:02,515 --> 00:17:04,267 Ew! Gross! 437 00:17:06,102 --> 00:17:08,312 Homer, you're making me mad. 438 00:17:08,313 --> 00:17:11,230 And if there's one thing you don't want to aggravate, 439 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,260 it's a hernia! 440 00:17:17,113 --> 00:17:19,114 I'm Marge's husband, Homer. 441 00:17:19,115 --> 00:17:20,991 Homer! Good-o! 442 00:17:20,992 --> 00:17:22,910 Would you like me to rehab you at work? 443 00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:25,454 I could come right to you. Same price. 444 00:17:25,455 --> 00:17:28,666 Maybe. But now I need your biggest, fastest kite. 445 00:17:28,667 --> 00:17:29,833 - The Widdamaka? - What? 446 00:17:29,834 --> 00:17:31,752 Can you say that without an accent? 447 00:17:31,753 --> 00:17:33,921 -(without accent): The Widowmaker. -Oh! That's scary! 448 00:17:33,922 --> 00:17:35,923 - Back to the accent! - The Widdamaka. 449 00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:37,490 I'll take it! 450 00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,218 When I got married, I took a vow: 451 00:17:39,219 --> 00:17:40,844 "Something, something, something 452 00:17:40,845 --> 00:17:42,722 till death something." 453 00:17:46,590 --> 00:17:47,726 (yelps) 454 00:17:47,727 --> 00:17:49,478 Homer! Rooster your gimbal! 455 00:17:49,479 --> 00:17:50,813 Rooster your gimbal! 456 00:17:50,814 --> 00:17:52,231 What does that mean?! 457 00:17:52,232 --> 00:17:53,650 Pull the rope! 458 00:17:55,402 --> 00:17:56,861 The other rope. 459 00:17:59,447 --> 00:18:00,948 Homie! 460 00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:02,408 You came for me! 461 00:18:02,409 --> 00:18:04,410 And I'll never leave you. 462 00:18:04,411 --> 00:18:06,704 Except right now when the wind blows me 463 00:18:06,705 --> 00:18:08,414 (fading): God knows where.... 464 00:18:08,415 --> 00:18:10,792 They're headed for a wind farm! 465 00:18:12,335 --> 00:18:13,669 (both gasp) 466 00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:16,296 BOTH: Whoa...! 467 00:18:16,297 --> 00:18:17,631 (kiss) 468 00:18:17,632 --> 00:18:19,133 Whoa...! 469 00:18:19,134 --> 00:18:20,217 (kiss) 470 00:18:20,218 --> 00:18:22,137 Whoa...! 471 00:18:26,558 --> 00:18:28,892 (New England accent): Well, Mother, looks like we caught 472 00:18:28,893 --> 00:18:30,853 a couple more kiteboarders. 473 00:18:30,854 --> 00:18:33,897 - I'll get the big ladder. - I'll tell the hospital 474 00:18:33,898 --> 00:18:36,901 their power's gonna be down for a while. 475 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,946 Strong woman, I love you. 476 00:18:40,947 --> 00:18:43,741 (exhales) And I love you. 477 00:18:43,742 --> 00:18:46,869 And never again will I listen to a doctor. 478 00:18:46,870 --> 00:18:49,790 Wait, that's not the takeaway. 479 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:50,998 Takeaway? That's a good idea! 480 00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:53,250 Yello? Pizza Palace? 481 00:18:53,251 --> 00:18:55,169 Can I get a Henry the Eight-Inch Pizza 482 00:18:55,170 --> 00:18:56,420 with extra meat? 483 00:18:56,421 --> 00:18:58,672 And a side of chocolate cheesy bread? 484 00:18:58,673 --> 00:19:00,900 No such thing. 485 00:19:00,910 --> 00:19:01,760 - Can you make it anyways? - (groans) 486 00:19:05,930 --> 00:19:08,140 Chief, I've got to make dinner for my kids. Could you please 487 00:19:08,141 --> 00:19:10,893 - tell me what this is about? - Like most physical therapists 488 00:19:10,894 --> 00:19:14,730 in America, this man is actually a Russian spy. 489 00:19:14,731 --> 00:19:16,982 Nigel is a spy? 490 00:19:16,983 --> 00:19:18,400 Dimitri Nigelovonovitch. 491 00:19:18,401 --> 00:19:20,819 Did you ever wonder why he was so interested 492 00:19:20,820 --> 00:19:22,780 in seeing your husband at work? 493 00:19:22,781 --> 00:19:24,948 I thought it was close to his house. 494 00:19:24,949 --> 00:19:28,202 Didn't you ever ask yourself how a beach bum like him 495 00:19:28,203 --> 00:19:31,538 could afford a top-of-the-line 2007 Saturn SUV 496 00:19:31,539 --> 00:19:33,373 with a full spare tire? 497 00:19:33,374 --> 00:19:35,709 I guess I didn't want to know. 498 00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:39,881 Just thank God, thank God your husband is entrapping him now. 499 00:19:41,341 --> 00:19:44,760 Homer, I just need a few pictures of... 500 00:19:44,761 --> 00:19:46,428 the co-ah. 501 00:19:46,429 --> 00:19:48,430 - The what? - Goo-ah. 502 00:19:48,431 --> 00:19:51,266 - The car? - Goo-ah. 503 00:19:51,267 --> 00:19:53,393 Like a crow? Caw? 504 00:19:53,394 --> 00:19:55,620 Co-ahr-car? 505 00:19:55,630 --> 00:19:58,232 (Russian accent): Damn it. Show me your reactor core. 506 00:19:58,233 --> 00:19:59,984 All units, move in! 507 00:20:04,197 --> 00:20:06,866 ("Theme from Mission: Impossible" playing) 508 00:20:14,666 --> 00:20:17,335 ♪ ♪ 509 00:20:23,883 --> 00:20:25,968 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 510 00:20:25,969 --> 00:20:27,261 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 511 00:20:27,262 --> 00:20:29,179 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 512 00:20:29,180 --> 00:20:31,182 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 513 00:21:09,262 --> 00:21:11,264 Shh! 32744

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