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1
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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:08,298
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:11,260
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:14,221
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:17,808
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:21,395
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:22,938
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:22,939 --> 00:00:24,690
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:30,029
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:38,078
Peter, come on.
11
00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:39,329
- What?
- We're starting.
12
00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:41,039
Oh, is this, uh, a new one?
13
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,125
I thought it was a rerun.
Okay, here we go.
14
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:45,252
Line?
15
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:47,755
What are those guys
doing over there?
16
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,506
Hey, what are those guys
doing over there?
17
00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:51,550
I added a "hey."
18
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,011
Here we go, Patriots!
19
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,596
All right, now let's go
miss the urinal
20
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,514
with half a whiz
and get out of here.
21
00:00:57,515 --> 00:00:59,808
- Right on!
- Hey, why you guys leaving?
22
00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:01,894
We're taking a party bus
to the game.
23
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,479
A bus for partying?
24
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,022
Aw, that sounds awesome.
25
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,024
Like a pair
of Pete's Headphones.
26
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:09,485
♪ Oye como va ♪
27
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:10,694
♪ Mi ritmo ♪
28
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:13,197
♪ Buena pa' gozar ♪
29
00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:14,157
♪ Mulata ♪
30
00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:16,241
♪ Ba, ba-da ba-da-da ♪
31
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:17,993
♪ Ba-da-da-da-da-da ♪
32
00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:22,039
♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da-
da-da-da... ♪
33
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,084
Mom, can we eat?
34
00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:28,754
My stomach is starting to sound
like Arnold Schwarzenegger
35
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,590
gasping for air
at the end of Total Recall.
36
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,884
My eyes are
37
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:36,428
popping out
at the end of this movie!
38
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,514
Well, I'd like to wait
for your father.
39
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:41,642
L-Let me send him another
infuriating check-in text.
40
00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,936
Hel-lo!
41
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,437
Yes?
42
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,314
Peter, where the hell
have you been?
43
00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:50,067
On a magical journey to
Gillette Stadium and back.
44
00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,735
You remember last night
when you called me
45
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:54,321
the lowest-class alcoholic
in the world?
46
00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:57,866
Well, I found one rung lower.
I'm a party bus guy now.
47
00:01:57,867 --> 00:02:00,828
That's got to be way better
than when I drove a Fiat.
48
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,080
Hey! You cut me off!
49
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,249
What? Turn down your radio.
50
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,376
I can't. My stomach's
pressed up against the dial.
51
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,127
You want to go?
52
00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:13,382
Get me 17 shoehorns and
some canola oil, and we'll go!
53
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:16,009
Get back here!
54
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:21,974
Okay, guys, now this is a bus
for a fireman's bachelor party.
55
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,476
So just follow my lead
and we'll fit right in.
56
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,353
All right!
57
00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:28,438
9/11! Boston Strong!
58
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:31,567
Never forget!
How about this guy? You forget?
59
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:34,611
No way. You're too Boston Strong
to ever forget.
60
00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:36,905
Let's roll!
61
00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:40,534
Uh, I mean... civil servants
with hero complexes!
62
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:42,202
- Boom!
- All right!
63
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:44,413
Welcome, other firefighters.
64
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:47,166
Bring us the man of the hour.
65
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,251
Come on, Smitty!
66
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:53,380
To my last night
as a free man!
67
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,177
Hmm. Unfortunate timing.
68
00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:01,054
Now, which one of these
scumbag firemen
69
00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:02,806
will go after his fiancée?
70
00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:05,100
Already happened.
We're very happy.
71
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:12,900
♪ Firemen are not good friends ♪
72
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:17,363
♪ They'll bang your wife
when you are dead. ♪
73
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,745
Peter, this sucks!
74
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,748
What are we doing out here?
75
00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:41,053
I'm beginning to think
those vodka cranberries
76
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,222
may have had alcohol in them.
77
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,647
Wow, partying
on the bus to prom.
78
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,690
Doesn't get much cooler
than this.
79
00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:55,609
None of these lame kids
is drinking.
80
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:58,987
Eh, I think I know
what's going on.
81
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:02,325
Hey, how many of you kids
are on the horny drugs?
82
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:05,036
I'm a cop.
83
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:08,246
But I'm not a narc.
84
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,000
Cool cop! Cool cop! Cool cop!
85
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:14,544
Did you dook yourself?
86
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:16,713
Just listen to the chant, Peter.
87
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:19,133
Listen to the chant.
88
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:23,930
♪ ♪
89
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,684
Close dancing, 12 o'clock.
90
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:31,561
Hey, arm's length,
dirty porno lovers!
91
00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:33,855
So, going stag tonight, Meg?
92
00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:36,650
Oh, no, I brought someone.
93
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:39,027
Hello. I'm in love with Meg.
94
00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:41,655
Well, now I'm very sorry
I asked.
95
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:44,074
Wow, the end of high school.
96
00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:46,785
Tonight, we pass around
Stifler's mom,
97
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:49,621
and in the morning, it's off
to die quick in Vietnam.
98
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,790
Peter, I think you're getting
your movies mixed up.
99
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,667
Attention, students.
100
00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:56,920
It's time to announce
this year's prom king and queen.
101
00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:58,422
Natalee Holloway!
102
00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:00,966
Now, now.
103
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,634
And the winners are...
104
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:06,389
Connie D'Amico
and "Kermit Legs" Kyle!
105
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,893
Ah, so close.
106
00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:13,228
Hello, gorgeous.
107
00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:15,480
- How old are you?
- 18.
108
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:17,149
All right, and I just
recorded you saying that.
109
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,609
And hi. I am Glenn Quagmire.
110
00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,278
Courtney. Nice to meet you.
111
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,655
You don't look like
you're in high school.
112
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:26,575
I got held back.
You like getting held back?
113
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,994
Sometimes.
114
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,416
All right, youngins.
115
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,918
I dragged this piece of dirty
cardboard in from the alley
116
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:39,296
to show y'all how to get down.
117
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,257
Peter! Let's boogie!
118
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,804
♪ Ho! Ho! ♪
119
00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:49,807
♪ ♪
120
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:16,458
Aah!
There was a staple in the box!
121
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,585
Where's the nurse's office?
122
00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:21,046
Hey, you want
to get out of here?
123
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,298
Yeah. Let's go.
124
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:25,092
You take requests?
125
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:27,302
What are you looking for?
126
00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:29,221
♪ A-hunga, hunga,
hunga, hunga... ♪
127
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:34,226
♪ It's been one week
since you looked at me ♪
128
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,853
♪ Cocked your head to the side
and said I'm angry ♪
129
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,980
♪ Five days since
you laughed at me... ♪
130
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:41,776
-I know all the lyrics.
I just don't know them fast!
-♪ Three days... ♪
131
00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:47,197
- And initial here.
- What is all this?
132
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,032
Oh, these just say if anything
should happen to you,
133
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,408
I'm not responsible,
blah-blah-blah.
134
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,202
I'm-I'm just boring myself.
135
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,371
I had a lot of fun
with you tonight, Courtney.
136
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,331
Me too.
137
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:58,125
Oh, Courtney.
138
00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,459
Oh, Glenn.
139
00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:02,003
Oh, oh, giggity!
140
00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:05,382
Wait. Did you
just say "giggity"?
141
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,800
Yeah. Sorry.
142
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:09,427
Sometimes I just blurt that out
when I get excited.
143
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:11,222
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
144
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,561
Here. Rub this up and down
on the inside of your cheek.
145
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,564
- Giggity.
- Aah! Stop saying that!
146
00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:27,737
What is it, Glenn?
What's wrong?
147
00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:30,949
You're... you're my daughter!
148
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,242
Oh, my God!
149
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:33,827
Wow.
150
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:36,746
I guess this means
I have a phone call to make.
151
00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:38,456
Hey, it's Glenn Quagmire.
152
00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:41,126
Would you tell Andrew
that he is not the father?
153
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:44,171
Andrew,
you are not the father.
154
00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:04,274
Courtney, there's something
I just got to ask.
155
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,193
What the heck was the theme
of that dance?
156
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,611
What do you mean?
157
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:10,155
I mean, like, there was
palm trees like it was Hawaii,
158
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,449
but then there was
a suit of armor in the corner.
159
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,826
There was a big banner
w-with fish on it.
160
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:17,370
Can we get back to the fact
that you're my dad?
161
00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:19,664
Yeah, you're right.
I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
162
00:08:20,429 --> 00:08:23,556
Well, let me ask.
What's up with your mom?
163
00:08:23,557 --> 00:08:25,809
Actually, I never knew my mom.
164
00:08:25,810 --> 00:08:28,853
I was hoping that you could
tell me about her.
165
00:08:28,854 --> 00:08:31,439
Uh... of course I can.
166
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,941
Your mom...
167
00:08:32,942 --> 00:08:36,611
your mom... was really...
168
00:08:36,612 --> 00:08:38,822
thing hanging on
the bulletin board behind you.
169
00:08:38,823 --> 00:08:41,533
That's so nice to hear.
Tell me more.
170
00:08:41,534 --> 00:08:44,995
Oh, gosh, she was,
she was just so...
171
00:08:44,996 --> 00:08:46,621
word on the bottom
of your coffee cup.
172
00:08:46,622 --> 00:08:49,290
I always knew she would be!
What else?
173
00:08:49,291 --> 00:08:51,835
I just have some
great memories of her...
174
00:08:51,836 --> 00:08:53,795
numbers to call
in case of emergency
175
00:08:53,796 --> 00:08:55,505
or accidental poisoning.
176
00:08:55,506 --> 00:08:58,591
It's like she's here
with us right now.
177
00:08:58,592 --> 00:09:01,261
So you don't know your mom?
Who do you live with?
178
00:09:01,262 --> 00:09:03,138
Well, right now I'm on a futon
179
00:09:03,139 --> 00:09:04,889
in the rafters
of my friend's garage.
180
00:09:04,890 --> 00:09:07,100
Oh! Actually,
I better get going.
181
00:09:07,101 --> 00:09:09,602
I have to feed their ferrets.
They breed them.
182
00:09:09,603 --> 00:09:11,980
It's pretty terrifying.
183
00:09:11,981 --> 00:09:15,025
Anyway, thank you so much
for being so nice,
184
00:09:15,026 --> 00:09:17,527
and let's talk soon?
185
00:09:17,528 --> 00:09:19,779
Wait, hold on. You can't
live in a ferret garage.
186
00:09:19,780 --> 00:09:20,822
You need a home.
187
00:09:20,823 --> 00:09:23,616
You know, you could
move in here.
188
00:09:23,617 --> 00:09:26,161
I have an extra bedroom,
and the bed has a bunch
189
00:09:26,162 --> 00:09:28,079
of different-sized
pillows on it.
190
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,874
Hmm. I do love dealing with
those pillows every day,
191
00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:32,459
but are you sure?
192
00:09:32,460 --> 00:09:34,419
I don't want to be a burden.
193
00:09:34,420 --> 00:09:37,380
No, it's no problem.
Hey, you're my daughter.
194
00:09:37,381 --> 00:09:39,549
I want to make sure
you have everything you need.
195
00:09:39,550 --> 00:09:42,343
Thanks. That's sweet.
196
00:09:42,344 --> 00:09:46,014
Um... okay! Yeah.
I'll move in.
197
00:09:46,015 --> 00:09:47,474
That's huge for me.
198
00:09:47,475 --> 00:09:49,893
Hey, is that an Instant Pot?
199
00:09:49,894 --> 00:09:52,395
- No, it's a Crock-Pot.
- You got to get an Instant Pot.
200
00:09:52,396 --> 00:09:54,647
You can make short ribs in it.
It falls right off...
201
00:09:54,648 --> 00:09:56,149
Yeah, yeah, falls right off
the bone. I know.
202
00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:57,650
I've had this conversation
five times.
203
00:09:57,651 --> 00:09:59,319
Hey, Quagmire.
204
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,529
I hear you're considering
an Instant Pot.
205
00:10:01,530 --> 00:10:03,990
Courtney,
that's Joe, my neighbor.
206
00:10:03,991 --> 00:10:07,203
Hey, Courtney.
You getting this guy on board?
207
00:10:10,372 --> 00:10:13,208
So, I think I had
a wet nightmare last night.
208
00:10:13,209 --> 00:10:14,918
Is that possible?
209
00:10:14,919 --> 00:10:17,629
- Hello, fellow daddios.
- Did you bang your kid yet?
210
00:10:17,630 --> 00:10:20,548
Okay, Peter, can I talk to you
for a second?
211
00:10:20,549 --> 00:10:23,593
I'm sorry, but I am not going
to stand for any misogyny.
212
00:10:23,594 --> 00:10:25,470
Stop acting like
a Neanderthal pig.
213
00:10:25,471 --> 00:10:27,388
Those sound scary.
214
00:10:27,389 --> 00:10:29,599
What were you two ladies
talking about?
215
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,976
Joe, can I talk to you
for a second?
216
00:10:31,977 --> 00:10:35,146
It's 2019.
Time-tested jokes like that
217
00:10:35,147 --> 00:10:37,190
are now offensive
and not funny at all.
218
00:10:37,191 --> 00:10:39,943
Okay, I got to go.
219
00:10:39,944 --> 00:10:42,237
I'm taking Courtney
to her first WNBA game.
220
00:10:42,238 --> 00:10:44,197
I got courtside seats.
221
00:10:44,198 --> 00:10:46,574
They're way in the back, but
I'm sitting next to Courtney.
222
00:10:46,575 --> 00:10:48,952
I-I got dad jokes now.
223
00:10:48,953 --> 00:10:51,162
See you, friends.
224
00:10:51,163 --> 00:10:52,831
Yes, 911?
225
00:10:52,832 --> 00:10:55,375
Someone has stolen
the old Quagmire
226
00:10:55,376 --> 00:10:59,212
and replaced him with
a respectable man.
227
00:10:59,213 --> 00:11:01,714
Sir, this line is reserved
for emergencies only.
228
00:11:01,715 --> 00:11:03,258
Please end your clammy joke.
229
00:11:03,259 --> 00:11:05,010
Okay. Sorry.
230
00:11:06,502 --> 00:11:10,502
For subtitling services, contatct:
waqas.zahoor89@gmail.com
231
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:14,857
- You remember what I told you?
- I'm the best around.
232
00:11:14,858 --> 00:11:16,525
Nothing's gonna
ever keep me down.
233
00:11:16,526 --> 00:11:18,981
That's right. I made that up.
Now go get 'em, kiddo.
234
00:11:18,983 --> 00:11:20,943
I'll be watching
with the other moms.
235
00:11:23,237 --> 00:11:25,530
Here's all the usual suspects.
236
00:11:25,531 --> 00:11:27,824
Oh, you're doing a video.
237
00:11:27,825 --> 00:11:31,286
Turn it... G-Get it off.
Glenn, I look terrible.
238
00:11:31,287 --> 00:11:33,330
Glenn, Courtney's up!
239
00:11:33,331 --> 00:11:35,624
Okay, okay, here we go. Please.
240
00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:37,502
Let's go, Courtney!
241
00:11:43,424 --> 00:11:45,718
Ah, perfect! That's a ten!
242
00:11:47,553 --> 00:11:50,889
9.2? 9.2?!
243
00:11:50,890 --> 00:11:52,350
9.2?!
244
00:11:55,686 --> 00:11:57,355
9.2?!
245
00:12:03,444 --> 00:12:06,738
9.2?! I'll give you a 9.2.
246
00:12:06,739 --> 00:12:07,740
On the Richter scale!
247
00:12:08,824 --> 00:12:10,575
Courtney, let's go.
248
00:12:10,576 --> 00:12:13,286
I get to go again.
We do it twice.
249
00:12:13,287 --> 00:12:15,164
Oh.
250
00:12:28,344 --> 00:12:30,555
Let's go, Courtney.
251
00:12:33,391 --> 00:12:35,141
So, you liking
Take Your Daughter to Work Day?
252
00:12:35,142 --> 00:12:36,643
Uh, yeah!
253
00:12:36,644 --> 00:12:39,396
I can't believe my dad knows
how to fly this thing.
254
00:12:39,397 --> 00:12:42,440
- You want to try?
- Me? I don't know.
255
00:12:42,441 --> 00:12:43,650
Come on, it's easy.
256
00:12:43,651 --> 00:12:45,318
You don't even need
a college degree,
257
00:12:45,319 --> 00:12:48,155
which is a very scary true fact.
Go ahead.
258
00:12:50,157 --> 00:12:51,575
You're doing great. Now roll it.
259
00:12:51,576 --> 00:12:53,660
What? No way.
260
00:12:53,661 --> 00:12:56,496
Don't worry, you're a Quagmire.
It's in your blood.
261
00:12:56,497 --> 00:12:58,624
- Grip it and rip it.
- Okay.
262
00:13:00,793 --> 00:13:03,753
Attagirl. Perfect.
263
00:13:03,754 --> 00:13:05,505
N-No. No, no.
We're not doing that.
264
00:13:05,506 --> 00:13:07,924
I got my daughter
with me today, you perverts.
265
00:13:07,925 --> 00:13:09,384
He's not doing it today.
266
00:13:09,385 --> 00:13:11,261
- Aw, shoot.
- Another time.
267
00:13:11,262 --> 00:13:12,763
Probably got his kid with him.
268
00:13:16,517 --> 00:13:19,060
I'm glad you guys could finally
come over for dinner.
269
00:13:19,061 --> 00:13:20,854
Sure thing, Lois.
Thanks for having us.
270
00:13:20,855 --> 00:13:23,940
See, Meg?
That's a thigh gap.
271
00:13:23,941 --> 00:13:26,568
Now, Courtney, I'd like
to awkwardly introduce you
272
00:13:26,569 --> 00:13:27,986
to someone your own age.
273
00:13:27,987 --> 00:13:29,571
Courtney, this is Megan.
274
00:13:29,572 --> 00:13:31,156
Maybe you listen
to the same music.
275
00:13:31,157 --> 00:13:32,407
- Hey.
- Hey.
276
00:13:32,408 --> 00:13:33,617
Yo, Courtney,
what's your Instagram?
277
00:13:33,618 --> 00:13:34,909
I just got on there
278
00:13:34,910 --> 00:13:36,620
and need some interesting peeps
to follow.
279
00:13:36,621 --> 00:13:38,872
Oh, you'll have to ask my dad.
280
00:13:38,873 --> 00:13:40,999
He approves
all my follow requests.
281
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,877
Denied! Nice try, ass.
282
00:13:43,878 --> 00:13:46,212
Hey, have you guys seen
the Wonder Woman film?
283
00:13:46,213 --> 00:13:48,048
- Yeah, no.
- Oh, you have to.
284
00:13:48,049 --> 00:13:49,174
It's a triumph.
285
00:13:49,175 --> 00:13:50,925
Courts and I
have seen it five times.
286
00:13:50,926 --> 00:13:52,719
It's an important movie, Peter.
287
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:55,180
You should watch it with Meg.
It's a masterwork.
288
00:13:55,181 --> 00:13:57,015
Oh, I've been wanting
to see that.
289
00:13:57,016 --> 00:13:58,476
Okay, we totally will.
290
00:14:00,770 --> 00:14:01,978
Hey, Dad,
I just checked the weather,
291
00:14:01,979 --> 00:14:04,814
and it looks like sunny skies
all weekend.
292
00:14:04,815 --> 00:14:07,400
- You guys have big plans?
- Yeah, we're going camping.
293
00:14:07,401 --> 00:14:09,778
Hey, you and Meg should
come with us, Peter.
294
00:14:09,779 --> 00:14:12,322
We'll make it a father-daughter
bonding weekend.
295
00:14:12,323 --> 00:14:15,492
- Oh, that's a great idea.
- Yeah, let's go, Dad.
296
00:14:15,493 --> 00:14:17,702
Y-You know who you should take
instead of me?
297
00:14:17,703 --> 00:14:20,205
Uh, Stewie or-or Chris or Brian.
298
00:14:20,206 --> 00:14:21,539
May-Maybe Lois.
299
00:14:21,540 --> 00:14:23,708
Or Seamus is fun.
300
00:14:23,709 --> 00:14:25,752
Carter Pewterschmidt,
Babs Pewterschmidt,
301
00:14:25,753 --> 00:14:27,962
Bonnie, Joe, their son Kevin,
302
00:14:27,963 --> 00:14:30,590
Cleveland, Jerome,
Bruce, Opie, Carl,
303
00:14:30,591 --> 00:14:33,468
the "phony" guy,
the ostrich, Al Harrington,
304
00:14:33,469 --> 00:14:37,138
Billy Finn, John Travolta
from one of our cutaways,
305
00:14:37,139 --> 00:14:39,974
uh, all of our characters
as Star Wars characters,
306
00:14:39,975 --> 00:14:41,768
everybody from
The Cleveland Show,
307
00:14:41,769 --> 00:14:43,228
Cherry Chevapravatdumrong--
308
00:14:43,229 --> 00:14:44,854
that's how that name
is pronounced--
309
00:14:44,855 --> 00:14:46,981
the Orville--
the ship, not the cast--
310
00:14:46,982 --> 00:14:49,609
um, me... Aw, damn it!
311
00:14:49,610 --> 00:14:51,361
Okay, fine. I'll go.
312
00:14:51,362 --> 00:14:52,529
- Thank you.
- Cool.
313
00:14:52,530 --> 00:14:55,240
I heard my name, too. I'm in!
314
00:14:55,241 --> 00:14:57,909
No? I'll drive, buy snacks?
315
00:14:57,910 --> 00:14:59,661
No? Okay.
316
00:14:59,662 --> 00:15:01,872
Everyone else is out here, too.
317
00:15:10,089 --> 00:15:12,757
Oh, my God,
it's literally everyone.
318
00:15:12,758 --> 00:15:15,844
That can only mean...
show ghosts!
319
00:15:15,845 --> 00:15:17,847
♪ ♪
320
00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:32,069
♪ ♪
321
00:15:39,702 --> 00:15:41,828
I'm really glad
you decided to bring Meg
322
00:15:41,829 --> 00:15:44,122
on this camping trip, Peter.
It's gonna be great.
323
00:15:44,123 --> 00:15:46,709
-Because we're in the...
-Because we're in
the great outdoors.
324
00:15:49,211 --> 00:15:50,837
Ah.
325
00:15:50,838 --> 00:15:53,339
You don't get air like this
back in Quahog, do you, Pete?
326
00:15:53,340 --> 00:15:55,884
Uh, I don't know.
Some places, probably.
327
00:15:55,885 --> 00:15:59,721
Hoo-ah! Gosh, being in nature
gives me such great energy.
328
00:15:59,722 --> 00:16:01,973
Hey, Courtney, you ever see
a yellow-headed warbler?
329
00:16:01,974 --> 00:16:04,309
That's the only warbler
I haven't seen.
330
00:16:04,310 --> 00:16:05,894
Not for long it's not.
331
00:16:07,646 --> 00:16:09,606
Don't answer that.
332
00:16:09,607 --> 00:16:11,649
We're eating.
333
00:16:11,650 --> 00:16:12,901
They're probably eating.
334
00:16:12,902 --> 00:16:14,736
Okay, we're gonna have
a fun camp competition.
335
00:16:14,737 --> 00:16:17,113
And the first event,
worth five points,
336
00:16:17,114 --> 00:16:19,240
is a race down to the lake
right now!
337
00:16:19,241 --> 00:16:21,201
Last one there is
a stinky poo-poo egg!
338
00:16:21,202 --> 00:16:22,827
Come on, Dad!
339
00:16:22,828 --> 00:16:26,456
What Meg didn't know,
what none of them knew,
340
00:16:26,457 --> 00:16:28,333
is that I already was
341
00:16:28,334 --> 00:16:30,669
a stinky poo-poo egg.
342
00:16:34,173 --> 00:16:36,299
Boy, you don't get
stars like this
343
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:37,717
back in Quahog, do you, Pete?
344
00:16:37,718 --> 00:16:39,010
Stop calling me Pete.
345
00:16:39,011 --> 00:16:41,596
I know what'll cheer you up.
Skits!
346
00:16:41,597 --> 00:16:43,723
♪ Skits, skits, skits, skits ♪
347
00:16:43,724 --> 00:16:45,850
♪ Skits, skits,
skits, skits ♪
348
00:16:45,851 --> 00:16:47,936
♪ Skits-skits-skits-skits,
skits-skits ♪
349
00:16:47,937 --> 00:16:49,480
♪ Skits! ♪
350
00:16:53,442 --> 00:16:56,195
Well, isn't this
a perfect bench for a sit.
351
00:16:57,947 --> 00:17:00,573
Say, Dad, what are you doing?
352
00:17:00,574 --> 00:17:02,575
Oh, just sitting on
the invisible bench,
353
00:17:02,576 --> 00:17:05,161
reading about those
North Korea jokesters.
354
00:17:05,162 --> 00:17:08,957
But, Dad, they moved
the invisible bench last week.
355
00:17:08,958 --> 00:17:10,876
Oh. It's over there now.
356
00:17:12,127 --> 00:17:13,920
Whoa!
357
00:17:16,924 --> 00:17:19,969
Ladies and gentlemen,
"The Invisible Bench" skit.
358
00:17:21,303 --> 00:17:22,637
Peter, you're up.
359
00:17:22,638 --> 00:17:25,974
Okay, here's one.
I call it "The Invisible Noose."
360
00:17:25,975 --> 00:17:27,976
First, I throw a rope
over this tree limb,
361
00:17:27,977 --> 00:17:29,477
put the noose around my neck.
362
00:17:29,478 --> 00:17:31,563
Now I'll just step
onto this rock
363
00:17:31,564 --> 00:17:34,233
and jump off into
the sweet relief of death.
364
00:17:38,487 --> 00:17:40,947
Peter, would you mind
flattening your rod?
365
00:17:40,948 --> 00:17:43,741
Fine. I'll Tootsie it
between my thighs.
366
00:17:43,742 --> 00:17:46,912
Yeah, okay, whatever gets it
away from my daughter's face.
367
00:17:52,209 --> 00:17:54,419
Are you eating an apple
with a knife?
368
00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:56,296
God, that's always so forced.
369
00:17:56,297 --> 00:17:58,882
Hold on.
We've been here already.
370
00:17:58,883 --> 00:18:00,758
Yeah, she's right.
371
00:18:00,759 --> 00:18:02,761
That's where I graffitied
that rock.
372
00:18:05,264 --> 00:18:08,016
We've changed our minds.
We're going on record.
373
00:18:08,017 --> 00:18:09,434
We're not lost, all right?
374
00:18:09,435 --> 00:18:11,311
We're just two dads
bonding with our daughters,
375
00:18:11,312 --> 00:18:13,396
and getting lost
is not part of the plan.
376
00:18:13,397 --> 00:18:14,439
All right, nobody panic.
377
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:15,773
We just need to get
our bearings.
378
00:18:15,774 --> 00:18:17,025
Hey, here comes a hiker.
379
00:18:17,026 --> 00:18:19,193
Excuse me, sir, we're lost.
380
00:18:19,194 --> 00:18:21,779
Ha! Then you must be
my car keys, right?
381
00:18:21,780 --> 00:18:24,574
It is so nice
to get out of the city
382
00:18:24,575 --> 00:18:26,409
and meet friendly people.
383
00:18:26,410 --> 00:18:28,745
You're not helping, Dad.
As usual.
384
00:18:28,746 --> 00:18:30,580
Well, at least
I didn't get us lost.
385
00:18:30,581 --> 00:18:34,042
We're not lost! We're just...
two dads in the woods,
386
00:18:34,043 --> 00:18:36,669
who love our daughters
very, very much.
387
00:18:36,670 --> 00:18:39,380
Okay, so maybe it's not
the life we chose.
388
00:18:39,381 --> 00:18:41,883
Well, you chose it. I didn't.
That's for damn sure!
389
00:18:41,884 --> 00:18:43,509
- Dad, will you help him?
- Shh.
390
00:18:43,510 --> 00:18:45,428
I've been waiting for this.
I knew it was fake.
391
00:18:45,429 --> 00:18:47,180
Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't...
392
00:18:47,181 --> 00:18:49,307
I'm not Dad! I'm Quagmire!
393
00:18:49,308 --> 00:18:50,725
Glenn Quagmire!
394
00:18:50,726 --> 00:18:52,185
Giggity giggity!
395
00:18:52,186 --> 00:18:54,395
I don't want to be out here!
I hate camping!
396
00:18:54,396 --> 00:18:56,606
And what the hell was the theme
of that stupid prom?!
397
00:18:56,607 --> 00:18:58,608
All the cups said,
"Oh, What a Night!"
398
00:18:58,609 --> 00:19:00,902
I mean, if it was,
"Oh, What a Knight" with a "K,"
399
00:19:00,903 --> 00:19:02,070
that would've made some sense,
400
00:19:02,071 --> 00:19:03,655
'cause there was
a suit of armor there.
401
00:19:03,656 --> 00:19:05,782
What was that about?
Answer me!
402
00:19:05,783 --> 00:19:08,576
I-I think it's possible
to overthink these things.
403
00:19:08,577 --> 00:19:10,161
Ugh, what a mish-mosh.
404
00:19:10,162 --> 00:19:11,871
Damn it, I just want to be home,
405
00:19:11,872 --> 00:19:14,540
not here, lost in the woods,
looking at this stupid map
406
00:19:14,541 --> 00:19:16,292
with a magnifying glass.
407
00:19:16,293 --> 00:19:17,419
Aah!
408
00:19:18,504 --> 00:19:20,506
♪ ♪
409
00:19:24,843 --> 00:19:27,095
Oh, my God.
What are we gonna do?
410
00:19:27,096 --> 00:19:28,304
I don't know.
411
00:19:28,305 --> 00:19:30,932
- Help!
- Dear God, someone help us!
412
00:19:30,933 --> 00:19:32,934
You know when this
would never happen?
413
00:19:32,935 --> 00:19:34,936
If I was sitting on the couch,
watching TV,
414
00:19:34,937 --> 00:19:37,063
ignoring you completely.
415
00:19:37,064 --> 00:19:39,983
Courtney, I'm sorry
for what I said earlier.
416
00:19:39,984 --> 00:19:42,610
You mean when you completely
ripped my school dance theme?
417
00:19:42,611 --> 00:19:44,487
No, no, there was no theme
to rip.
418
00:19:44,488 --> 00:19:46,531
That's the point.
I stand by all of that.
419
00:19:46,906 --> 00:19:48,490
If anything, I'm more angry.
420
00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:50,450
No, I'm-I'm talking about
being your father
421
00:19:50,451 --> 00:19:51,993
before I was ready.
422
00:19:51,994 --> 00:19:54,788
I promise, if we make it
out of here,
423
00:19:54,789 --> 00:19:56,539
we can start again.
424
00:19:56,540 --> 00:19:58,959
- Deal?
- Deal.
425
00:20:06,092 --> 00:20:07,717
9/11!
426
00:20:07,718 --> 00:20:09,928
Boston Strong!
427
00:20:09,929 --> 00:20:11,554
Oh, it's Smitty.
428
00:20:11,555 --> 00:20:13,014
We're saved!
429
00:20:13,015 --> 00:20:15,183
But we should warn the birds
the fire's coming.
430
00:20:16,727 --> 00:20:20,271
All right, stay calm.
431
00:20:20,272 --> 00:20:23,693
Grab the pictures.
I'll get your mother's ashes.
432
00:20:28,697 --> 00:20:31,783
Wow, Peter, that was
a close call with that fire,
433
00:20:31,784 --> 00:20:34,452
but I'm glad you all
made it back safe and sound.
434
00:20:34,453 --> 00:20:35,787
Yeah, me, too.
435
00:20:35,788 --> 00:20:37,163
What the hell?
436
00:20:37,164 --> 00:20:38,873
Oh, I hope it's okay.
437
00:20:38,874 --> 00:20:40,959
I bought some more pillows.
438
00:20:44,255 --> 00:20:47,298
I mean, what is the deal
with women and pillows?
439
00:20:47,299 --> 00:20:48,800
Has-has anyone else
noticed this?
440
00:20:48,801 --> 00:20:50,718
No.
441
00:20:50,719 --> 00:20:54,639
No one? But I-I got three
minutes of material on pillows.
442
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,684
We don't want to hear it.
443
00:21:33,220 --> 00:21:35,181
Captioned by
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