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1
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_
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I've got a proposition.
3
00:00:03,225 --> 00:00:05,416
Meet me at the Carlyle tonight at 9:00.
4
00:00:05,551 --> 00:00:08,152
You're gonna kiss him again. I know you.
5
00:00:08,226 --> 00:00:09,759
I'm so sorry about last night.
6
00:00:09,784 --> 00:00:10,856
I just want you to know...
7
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It was just a kiss, Liza. Let it go.
8
00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:16,466
Nobody at work knows this, but I'm 40.
9
00:00:16,491 --> 00:00:19,654
I'm gonna sign with
Millennial on one condition:
10
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I use you as a case study.
11
00:00:43,851 --> 00:00:46,679
Yeah, that's the... exactly.
That's the same issue.
12
00:00:46,704 --> 00:00:48,420
Yes.
13
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Morning.
14
00:00:50,658 --> 00:00:52,390
Well, it's all open for discussion.
15
00:00:53,093 --> 00:00:55,115
Okay, that's his people calling me now.
16
00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:56,179
I'll try you back from the office.
17
00:00:56,204 --> 00:00:58,396
I'll be there in five.
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Hello? Hi, yes. Charles.
19
00:01:04,170 --> 00:01:07,875
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
20
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:10,319
You are being blogged and podcasted
21
00:01:10,344 --> 00:01:11,432
everywhere that matters.
22
00:01:11,457 --> 00:01:12,896
Oh, and we've got you listicled
23
00:01:12,921 --> 00:01:15,319
on Buzzfeed and Refinery29.
24
00:01:15,344 --> 00:01:17,298
By Wednesday, there
won't be a millennial
25
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who hasn't heard, read,
or socially transmitted
26
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"The Deciding Decade."
27
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And we were saving the
best news for last.
28
00:01:22,922 --> 00:01:25,122
Ellen's producer said Ellen read
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the advanced copy and loved it.
30
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- Love her.
- Fantastic.
31
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There's one little hitch.
32
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She really responded to the chapter
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where your 40-year-old
patient pretends to be
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a 26-year-old assistant.
35
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So, she'll have you on the show
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if you bring that patient with you.
37
00:01:40,086 --> 00:01:43,040
And reveal her identity
on national television?
38
00:01:43,066 --> 00:01:45,249
That's impossible...
that would be totally unethical.
39
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Not if the patient agrees.
40
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It would be such incredible publicity.
41
00:01:49,630 --> 00:01:53,766
That... maybe I could reach out and ask.
42
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Why would the patient consent?
43
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I mean, wasn't she promised anonymity?
44
00:01:58,330 --> 00:02:00,676
Well, she's clearly an opportunist.
45
00:02:00,701 --> 00:02:02,870
- More like a sociopath.
- Yeah.
46
00:02:02,895 --> 00:02:04,927
Shaving one or two years
off your age is one thing,
47
00:02:04,952 --> 00:02:06,066
but living a double life?
48
00:02:06,091 --> 00:02:08,432
That is a very disturbed individual.
49
00:02:08,457 --> 00:02:10,601
Well..., in the chapter, she said
50
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that she applied for a lot
of jobs as a 40-year-old,
51
00:02:14,063 --> 00:02:16,744
and got turned down every time,
so she had to find
52
00:02:16,769 --> 00:02:19,768
a way around this
institutionalized ageism.
53
00:02:19,793 --> 00:02:21,550
I don't see ageism, I see someone
54
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:24,199
who stepped out of the
industry and paid the price.
55
00:02:24,254 --> 00:02:26,216
She probably wasn't hired
because she doesn't have
56
00:02:26,248 --> 00:02:27,436
the skills or talent.
57
00:02:27,462 --> 00:02:30,123
Well, I can certainly reach out to her.
58
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I think it's risky.
59
00:02:31,602 --> 00:02:34,593
Staking the campaign of
Millennial's first book
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00:02:34,618 --> 00:02:35,970
on a con artist?
61
00:02:35,995 --> 00:02:37,319
I bet you make the deal with Ellen,
62
00:02:37,344 --> 00:02:38,494
and that lunatic sues us.
63
00:02:38,519 --> 00:02:40,519
Oh, my God. We can't chance that.
64
00:02:40,544 --> 00:02:42,326
We'll keep working
and get in touch soon.
65
00:02:42,351 --> 00:02:43,635
All right. Thank you, Charles.
66
00:02:43,660 --> 00:02:45,611
Our pleasure.
67
00:02:46,452 --> 00:02:48,927
Get on the ball. Pre-orders are dismal.
68
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Excuse me?
69
00:02:50,622 --> 00:02:53,559
I'm still here.
70
00:02:56,662 --> 00:02:57,666
Moving on.
71
00:02:57,691 --> 00:02:59,833
Where are we on "P is for Pigeon"?
72
00:02:59,858 --> 00:03:01,597
It's gone to copy editing.
73
00:03:01,622 --> 00:03:03,613
The early buzz on
GoodReads has been great.
74
00:03:03,638 --> 00:03:04,760
And I sent an advanced copy
75
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,245
to Anthony Lane at "The New Yorker."
76
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,571
What on God's green
earth is so important?
77
00:03:08,596 --> 00:03:10,860
Have I been unclear about
devices in the conference room?
78
00:03:10,885 --> 00:03:13,042
I always keep it face down, except...
79
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,055
Face down or put away,
that's the policy.
80
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We're done. Thank you.
81
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,339
I haven't seen him in a mood like this
82
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since his wife left.
83
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Something is really under his skin.
84
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- Hi.
- Hi.
85
00:03:36,857 --> 00:03:39,454
Um, I'm making a Juice Press run.
86
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Can I get you anything?
87
00:03:40,601 --> 00:03:41,909
Uh, no, thanks. I'm good.
88
00:03:41,934 --> 00:03:44,510
Uh, look, I know I might be
89
00:03:44,535 --> 00:03:46,930
misreading the situation,
but are you okay?
90
00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:49,612
- With me?
- What?
91
00:03:49,637 --> 00:03:51,480
I just want you to know
92
00:03:51,505 --> 00:03:53,554
that I think you're amazing,
93
00:03:53,579 --> 00:03:55,995
and I... I just... I feel so lucky
94
00:03:56,020 --> 00:03:57,625
and so grateful to be working here,
95
00:03:57,650 --> 00:03:59,250
and I just...
96
00:04:00,299 --> 00:04:03,841
Not even a cucumber coconut water?
97
00:04:03,866 --> 00:04:05,478
No, I'm fine. Really, I am.
98
00:04:05,651 --> 00:04:08,116
Uh, company, that's another story.
99
00:04:08,141 --> 00:04:09,933
- Oh?
- There might have to be
100
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,528
some changes around here.
101
00:04:11,553 --> 00:04:13,291
What kind of changes?
102
00:04:13,683 --> 00:04:16,544
I'm sorry. I'm late for a meeting.
103
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Don't worry about it.
104
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:25,770
_
105
00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:35,002
God, I hope I don't lose my job.
106
00:04:35,027 --> 00:04:36,626
You wouldn't have to lie anymore.
107
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:39,066
Yeah, and Caitlin wouldn't
have to go to college anymore.
108
00:04:39,091 --> 00:04:41,063
I mean, I can help with tuition.
109
00:04:41,088 --> 00:04:43,370
My business is doing really
great these days, so...
110
00:04:43,395 --> 00:04:44,719
I would never let you do that.
111
00:04:44,744 --> 00:04:47,905
But I can't tell you how
much that means to me.
112
00:04:47,930 --> 00:04:50,948
Yeah, well, I'm kind
of crazy about the mom.
113
00:05:00,977 --> 00:05:03,000
Ah, I've missed that.
114
00:05:03,025 --> 00:05:05,393
Mm, me too.
115
00:05:06,282 --> 00:05:09,046
So want to go back to my place?
116
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I changed the sheets today.
117
00:05:11,682 --> 00:05:14,521
Josh, are you familiar with
the marshmallow experiment?
118
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Yeah, where you try to see
119
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how many you can fit
in your mouth at once?
120
00:05:18,434 --> 00:05:21,411
No, it's, um... It's
this parenting thing.
121
00:05:21,437 --> 00:05:23,239
Children were given one marshmallow
122
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and told that they could
eat it immediately,
123
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or they could wait 15 minutes,
124
00:05:28,081 --> 00:05:30,730
- and get two marshmallows.
- What?
125
00:05:30,755 --> 00:05:32,755
Why would anybody do that to a kid?
126
00:05:32,780 --> 00:05:34,736
- I mean, it's... that's torture.
- I know.
127
00:05:34,761 --> 00:05:38,354
But anyway, they followed
the kids for like 20 years,
128
00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:40,053
and they found out that
the ones that could
129
00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:43,517
delay gratification had
better life outcomes.
130
00:05:43,542 --> 00:05:46,183
Higher self-reported happiness.
131
00:05:46,208 --> 00:05:48,182
Okay, um...
132
00:05:48,485 --> 00:05:50,816
so who's the marshmallow
in this scenario?
133
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Am I the marshmallow?
134
00:05:52,740 --> 00:05:54,690
Actually, I'm the marshmallow.
135
00:05:54,715 --> 00:05:56,182
Oh.
136
00:05:56,207 --> 00:05:59,160
So you want to take it slow, huh?
137
00:06:00,674 --> 00:06:03,008
I need more time.
138
00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:05,064
I get it.
139
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,800
Thank you.
140
00:06:07,825 --> 00:06:09,868
Yeah.
141
00:06:10,809 --> 00:06:13,843
I am still gonna walk you home,
though, so...
142
00:06:14,621 --> 00:06:16,626
'Cause I'm a gentleman.
143
00:06:23,269 --> 00:06:25,634
- Oh, Kelsey. Hey.
- Hi, Chad.
144
00:06:25,659 --> 00:06:27,561
- Ah!
- Hi.
145
00:06:27,586 --> 00:06:30,812
Okay. Oh. Ah.
146
00:06:30,837 --> 00:06:33,936
So, uh, what's so important?
147
00:06:37,767 --> 00:06:39,539
Wow, you speak Chinese?
148
00:06:39,564 --> 00:06:41,722
Um, just a couple dialects of Mandarin.
149
00:06:41,747 --> 00:06:43,606
Wow. I'm impressed.
150
00:06:43,632 --> 00:06:45,867
I volunteered on a clean water project
151
00:06:45,892 --> 00:06:47,573
in Gansu and kind of picked it up.
152
00:06:47,598 --> 00:06:50,356
But languages are my jam.
153
00:06:50,380 --> 00:06:52,662
What about the password
to Thad's computer?
154
00:06:52,687 --> 00:06:54,935
I've got to change his profile pic.
155
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:56,956
Oh, yeah. That. Sorry.
156
00:06:56,980 --> 00:06:59,532
These passwords are
really hard to crack.
157
00:06:59,557 --> 00:07:01,534
But if it's any consolation,
158
00:07:01,559 --> 00:07:04,331
wow, your tongue looks
really healthy in that photo.
159
00:07:05,255 --> 00:07:07,485
Sorry.
160
00:07:07,574 --> 00:07:11,146
Here, maybe you'll have better luck.
161
00:07:11,635 --> 00:07:13,237
Thanks.
162
00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:15,953
Kelsey, I... I don't
know how to say this,
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00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:18,857
so I'm just gonna come out and say it.
164
00:07:19,089 --> 00:07:22,206
Whoa. Oh, my God. What are you doing?
165
00:07:22,231 --> 00:07:23,172
I know.
166
00:07:23,198 --> 00:07:25,328
It's a little soon, but...
167
00:07:27,832 --> 00:07:30,223
My parents would like
the engagement ring back.
168
00:07:30,248 --> 00:07:32,421
It's a family heirloom.
169
00:07:32,445 --> 00:07:34,810
- Are you serious?
- Of course.
170
00:07:34,835 --> 00:07:36,255
I... I could show you photos
171
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:37,958
of my great-grandmother
wearing that ring.
172
00:07:37,982 --> 00:07:39,953
No. No, it's....
173
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It's fine.
174
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,359
Sorry to be the one just...
175
00:07:43,384 --> 00:07:45,315
bringing you all this bad news.
176
00:07:45,344 --> 00:07:47,178
You know, let me make it up to you.
177
00:07:47,203 --> 00:07:49,033
Let's get out of the city this weekend.
178
00:07:49,058 --> 00:07:50,211
Fishers Island.
179
00:07:50,235 --> 00:07:51,967
I already have ferry reservations,
180
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:56,027
and we could just talk everything out,
181
00:07:56,052 --> 00:07:57,954
and finally just...
182
00:07:58,415 --> 00:07:59,551
be.
183
00:07:59,576 --> 00:08:00,799
Chad?
184
00:08:00,824 --> 00:08:03,916
We are never going to "Be" anything.
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00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,342
Ever.
186
00:08:05,367 --> 00:08:06,815
Do you understand that?
187
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,471
What, so... So you're
just gonna act like
188
00:08:09,496 --> 00:08:11,857
the... the barn at Gary's
wedding never happened?
189
00:08:11,882 --> 00:08:14,262
How do you know about me
and Thad in that barn?
190
00:08:14,287 --> 00:08:15,477
Thad?
191
00:08:15,898 --> 00:08:18,386
Come on, you know that was me.
192
00:08:18,411 --> 00:08:19,376
What?
193
00:08:19,401 --> 00:08:20,656
You said you loved me.
194
00:08:20,681 --> 00:08:22,382
Because I thought that you were Thad.
195
00:08:22,407 --> 00:08:23,706
That was the game we were playing.
196
00:08:23,731 --> 00:08:26,726
- But you knew. Come on.
- I did not know!
197
00:08:26,751 --> 00:08:29,134
Look me in the eye and
say you don't think of me
198
00:08:29,159 --> 00:08:31,038
every time you sit on a big,
fat bale of hay.
199
00:08:32,353 --> 00:08:35,313
You know what? Take
your stupid ring back.
200
00:08:35,338 --> 00:08:38,529
Don't call me, don't text me,
201
00:08:38,554 --> 00:08:41,555
and stop tagging me in funny memes.
202
00:08:41,580 --> 00:08:43,652
They're not funny!
203
00:08:46,708 --> 00:08:49,595
_
204
00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:52,050
Ah.
205
00:08:54,545 --> 00:08:56,872
Okay, you're not going to believe this.
206
00:08:56,897 --> 00:08:57,937
- Oh, hey, Lauren.
- Uch.
207
00:08:57,962 --> 00:09:00,131
Kelsey just texted me
that she slept with Chad.
208
00:09:00,156 --> 00:09:01,407
- What?
- Wait, wait.
209
00:09:01,432 --> 00:09:02,898
- That's the twin, right?
- Yes, and apparently,
210
00:09:02,923 --> 00:09:04,068
he banged her all over
211
00:09:04,093 --> 00:09:05,427
some barn in Great Barrington.
212
00:09:05,452 --> 00:09:07,601
- What, last night?
- No, dude. Years ago.
213
00:09:07,626 --> 00:09:09,259
He pretended to be Thad.
214
00:09:09,445 --> 00:09:11,230
- Oh, my God.
- I know, dude.
215
00:09:11,255 --> 00:09:13,010
He Houdini-ed her.
216
00:09:13,035 --> 00:09:14,318
No, that's not Houdini-ing.
217
00:09:14,343 --> 00:09:16,254
Houdini-ing is when someone
has sex with you from behind,
218
00:09:16,279 --> 00:09:18,946
then someone else steps in,
and then the original person
219
00:09:18,971 --> 00:09:20,417
waves to you from the bedroom window.
220
00:09:20,442 --> 00:09:22,167
Oh, my God. You know everything. You do.
221
00:09:22,192 --> 00:09:23,684
You're like Sexipedia.
222
00:09:23,708 --> 00:09:26,255
- Is Kelsey all right?
- Oh, yeah, no. She'll be fine.
223
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,712
And now that she has Thad's laptop,
224
00:09:27,737 --> 00:09:29,464
she never has to see Chad again.
225
00:09:29,489 --> 00:09:31,022
- She has Thad's laptop?
- Oh, yeah, no.
226
00:09:31,047 --> 00:09:31,978
I'ma help her get into it.
227
00:09:32,003 --> 00:09:33,217
You know, it's the least I can do
228
00:09:33,242 --> 00:09:34,297
since she's been twinned.
229
00:09:34,322 --> 00:09:36,421
No, "Twinned" is two
girls and the same dildo.
230
00:09:36,446 --> 00:09:38,477
What? Really? Twinned?
231
00:09:38,502 --> 00:09:40,975
Oh, my God. Why do I doubt?
232
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,600
Why have we not done that?
233
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:45,122
You know, I got to go to work.
I will see you kids later.
234
00:09:45,147 --> 00:09:46,471
Mwah.
235
00:09:48,657 --> 00:09:50,272
Did you hear that?
236
00:09:50,297 --> 00:09:52,383
It's only a matter of time before Kelsey
237
00:09:52,408 --> 00:09:53,917
gets into that laptop
and finds out everything.
238
00:09:53,942 --> 00:09:55,275
Wait, what are you gonna do?
239
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:56,499
I got to tell her.
240
00:09:56,524 --> 00:09:58,613
And it's better that she
hears it from me first.
241
00:09:58,638 --> 00:10:00,358
I'm just gonna do it...
I'm gonna go in there
242
00:10:00,383 --> 00:10:01,486
and rip off the Band-Aid.
243
00:10:01,511 --> 00:10:03,250
"Ripping off the Band-Aid"
is when two guys...
244
00:10:03,275 --> 00:10:04,813
I don't want to know.
245
00:10:05,051 --> 00:10:06,930
Good luck.
246
00:10:07,662 --> 00:10:09,261
Ooh.
247
00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:19,849
- Hey.
- Hey.
248
00:10:19,874 --> 00:10:23,486
Lauren told me about the Chad situation.
249
00:10:23,511 --> 00:10:24,445
Are you okay?
250
00:10:24,471 --> 00:10:27,081
The whole thing is just so gross.
251
00:10:27,106 --> 00:10:29,094
I wonder if Thad knew.
252
00:10:29,118 --> 00:10:31,177
- He couldn't have, right?
- Uh...
253
00:10:31,202 --> 00:10:33,204
I mean,
I always brown out at weddings, but...
254
00:10:33,229 --> 00:10:35,466
You mean drink too much, right?
255
00:10:35,491 --> 00:10:36,961
Yeah... wait, what do you think I...
256
00:10:36,986 --> 00:10:38,422
No, nothing. Just that.
257
00:10:38,447 --> 00:10:40,068
- Okay.
- What are you doing?
258
00:10:40,093 --> 00:10:41,795
I'm trying to guess this password.
259
00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:44,421
It gave me a hint:
"Kelsey's favorite snack."
260
00:10:44,446 --> 00:10:46,980
I tried banana chips,
chocolate covered almonds.
261
00:10:47,005 --> 00:10:48,814
And no luck. I'm gonna just...
262
00:10:48,839 --> 00:10:50,988
I've got to hire a computer
expert or something.
263
00:10:51,013 --> 00:10:52,161
Are you sure?
264
00:10:52,186 --> 00:10:55,485
I mean, there could be a
lot of iffy stuff on there.
265
00:10:55,509 --> 00:10:57,382
This is all I have left of him.
266
00:10:57,468 --> 00:11:00,872
For better or for worse,
it's all right here.
267
00:11:00,897 --> 00:11:04,079
Hi, uh, there is a potential investor
268
00:11:04,104 --> 00:11:05,571
stopping by the office
in about ten minutes.
269
00:11:05,596 --> 00:11:08,311
Could you two be prepared
to talk about Millennial?
270
00:11:08,336 --> 00:11:09,692
Something short, like a...
271
00:11:09,717 --> 00:11:11,011
An elevator pitch?
272
00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:12,333
- Yeah, sure.
- Absolutely, yeah.
273
00:11:12,358 --> 00:11:13,324
It's important.
274
00:11:13,349 --> 00:11:15,514
Uh, but casual.
275
00:11:16,536 --> 00:11:18,267
But important.
276
00:11:20,725 --> 00:11:22,210
Liza!
277
00:11:25,187 --> 00:11:27,052
We must really be on
the ropes if Charles is
278
00:11:27,077 --> 00:11:28,513
springing a visit like this on us.
279
00:11:28,538 --> 00:11:30,275
Had I known, I would have
worn something less whimsical.
280
00:11:30,299 --> 00:11:32,735
Okay, this is from the
"Forbes" billionaires list.
281
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,322
Bryce Reiger, 26.
282
00:11:34,347 --> 00:11:37,416
Founded Tap That,
a digital wallet app in 2014.
283
00:11:37,441 --> 00:11:39,267
I'll make sure to
download it on your phone.
284
00:11:39,292 --> 00:11:41,723
Hmm, looks like another
Silicon Valley whiz kid
285
00:11:41,748 --> 00:11:43,110
throwing his money around.
286
00:11:43,135 --> 00:11:45,368
While his friends buy islands,
he buys prestige
287
00:11:45,393 --> 00:11:47,493
by saving a century-old
publishing house.
288
00:11:47,518 --> 00:11:49,319
Oh, look. He owns an island too.
289
00:11:49,344 --> 00:11:51,049
If old media is so dead,
290
00:11:51,074 --> 00:11:52,908
why is new media always
trying to buy us?
291
00:11:52,933 --> 00:11:53,788
Oh, that must be him.
292
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:54,746
Where?
293
00:11:54,771 --> 00:11:56,832
Oh, my...
294
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,998
So, are the any new "Crown
of Kings" coming out?
295
00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:01,482
I love "Crown of Kings."
296
00:12:01,507 --> 00:12:03,251
Besides "Twilight", it's the top-selling
297
00:12:03,276 --> 00:12:04,976
four-installment book
series of all time,
298
00:12:05,001 --> 00:12:06,861
with 106 million units.
299
00:12:06,886 --> 00:12:09,753
Uh, 25.4 million for "Rise of Kings,"
300
00:12:09,778 --> 00:12:11,909
28.1 for "Clash of Kings,"
301
00:12:11,934 --> 00:12:14,969
17.8 for "Ghosts of Kings"...
That was the worst one...
302
00:12:14,994 --> 00:12:18,303
And 34.7 million for "King of Kings."
303
00:12:18,327 --> 00:12:20,190
You certainly know
your "Crown of Kings."
304
00:12:20,579 --> 00:12:23,520
This is our head of
marketing, Diana Trout.
305
00:12:23,545 --> 00:12:24,878
It's easy for me to memorize stuff.
306
00:12:24,903 --> 00:12:26,247
I'm a little on the spectrum.
307
00:12:26,272 --> 00:12:29,708
That's why your perfume
is so offensive to me.
308
00:12:29,733 --> 00:12:33,492
Not offensive, just, uh,
pungent and repulsive.
309
00:12:33,517 --> 00:12:35,288
I beg your pardon?
310
00:12:36,470 --> 00:12:39,292
Definitely smelling
secretion of beaver anus.
311
00:12:39,317 --> 00:12:41,487
- What?
- Otherwise known as castoreum.
312
00:12:41,512 --> 00:12:43,959
It's a common ingredient in
many commercial perfumes.
313
00:12:43,984 --> 00:12:46,581
This is Givenchy. So...
314
00:12:46,606 --> 00:12:48,908
Said the beaver to his anus.
315
00:12:49,241 --> 00:12:52,593
Why don't we continue this
conversation at dinner?
316
00:12:52,618 --> 00:12:55,392
I will go shower.
317
00:12:59,347 --> 00:13:02,048
Since our imprint
curates exclusive content
318
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,546
for millennial readers,
we're excited to launch
319
00:13:04,571 --> 00:13:05,637
our first title:
320
00:13:05,662 --> 00:13:07,126
"The Deciding Decade:
321
00:13:07,151 --> 00:13:08,551
Making Your Twenties Matter."
322
00:13:08,576 --> 00:13:10,892
The eBook will hyperlink to the author's
323
00:13:10,917 --> 00:13:13,554
genre-leading podcast
and all social platforms.
324
00:13:13,579 --> 00:13:16,279
And for print, we're
using biodegradable ink
325
00:13:16,305 --> 00:13:18,813
on 100% recycled, fair-trade paper.
326
00:13:18,837 --> 00:13:20,436
Yes. I like all that.
327
00:13:20,461 --> 00:13:22,019
Tap that.
328
00:13:22,044 --> 00:13:24,194
Uh, don't your people use Tap That?
329
00:13:24,219 --> 00:13:26,214
Of course we do.
330
00:13:27,666 --> 00:13:30,433
So you just gave her money?
331
00:13:30,458 --> 00:13:32,781
I gave her recognition and affirmation.
332
00:13:32,806 --> 00:13:35,507
And ten American dollars, yes.
333
00:13:35,531 --> 00:13:37,088
I love your tattoo.
334
00:13:37,113 --> 00:13:38,036
Oh, thank you.
335
00:13:38,061 --> 00:13:39,594
Yeah, are those ants?
336
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:40,890
They are termites.
337
00:13:40,915 --> 00:13:42,815
That's revolting.
338
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,729
And so fascinating.
339
00:13:44,754 --> 00:13:46,454
Termites are one of the most adaptable
340
00:13:46,479 --> 00:13:47,632
species on the planet.
341
00:13:47,657 --> 00:13:49,148
They live in every climate,
342
00:13:49,173 --> 00:13:50,398
they've survived every epoch,
343
00:13:50,423 --> 00:13:52,062
and they produce so much hydrogen that
344
00:13:52,087 --> 00:13:53,435
the Department of Energy considers them
345
00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:55,428
a potential renewable fuel source.
346
00:13:55,452 --> 00:13:56,918
They're miraculous.
347
00:13:56,943 --> 00:13:59,457
They also eat feces,
but I'm sure you're aware.
348
00:13:59,482 --> 00:14:01,132
I... I think I recognize the artist.
349
00:14:01,157 --> 00:14:02,669
Is it Kori Hurami?
350
00:14:02,694 --> 00:14:03,960
How did you know that?
351
00:14:03,985 --> 00:14:06,689
I have a really close
friend who knows him.
352
00:14:06,714 --> 00:14:09,636
He and Kori shared a studio
for a while in Kanagawa.
353
00:14:09,661 --> 00:14:11,729
You're friends with Josh from Inkburg?
354
00:14:11,754 --> 00:14:13,338
Josh is Liza's boyfriend.
355
00:14:13,363 --> 00:14:16,078
Ex-boyfriend. Not to rub it in.
356
00:14:16,103 --> 00:14:19,707
Well, uh, not so ex, anymore, actually.
357
00:14:19,732 --> 00:14:21,518
- What?
- Uh, yeah.
358
00:14:21,543 --> 00:14:22,815
We're trying to figure things out.
359
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,585
Josh's work is just stunning.
360
00:14:24,610 --> 00:14:26,821
I mean, it silences me
every time I see it.
361
00:14:26,846 --> 00:14:28,245
He's a real artist.
362
00:14:28,271 --> 00:14:29,701
Yeah, he really is.
363
00:14:34,719 --> 00:14:36,481
- Thank you.
- Good night.
364
00:14:36,506 --> 00:14:37,796
Have a good night.
365
00:14:37,821 --> 00:14:40,620
- Have a good one.
- We'll be in touch.
366
00:14:41,082 --> 00:14:43,969
That went well, thanks
to our millennials.
367
00:14:43,994 --> 00:14:45,519
Well, it was a group effort.
368
00:14:45,543 --> 00:14:48,960
_
369
00:14:50,530 --> 00:14:52,878
Oh, God, noses in their phones already.
370
00:14:52,903 --> 00:14:54,533
Good night.
371
00:14:54,558 --> 00:14:55,924
I'll see everyone in the morning.
372
00:14:55,949 --> 00:14:57,077
- Night.
- Good night.
373
00:14:57,102 --> 00:14:58,866
I'm going uptown too.
374
00:14:58,891 --> 00:15:00,847
Taxi?
375
00:15:01,261 --> 00:15:03,887
Are we about to go to a
billionaire's loft party?
376
00:15:03,912 --> 00:15:05,074
Yes, please.
377
00:15:05,098 --> 00:15:06,736
I may even find a computer nerd
378
00:15:06,761 --> 00:15:08,412
to help me crack open Thad's laptop.
379
00:15:08,437 --> 00:15:11,220
- You have the laptop with you?
- Yes.
380
00:15:31,933 --> 00:15:34,867
- Your place is incredible.
- What is that thing?
381
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:37,628
Ah, that is a thermodynamic decelerator.
382
00:15:37,654 --> 00:15:39,552
Yeah, the software
engineers are using it
383
00:15:39,577 --> 00:15:41,644
to launch blocks of ice
into the pool to see
384
00:15:41,669 --> 00:15:43,283
how much ice it takes
to lower the temperature
385
00:15:43,308 --> 00:15:44,487
of the water one degree.
386
00:15:44,512 --> 00:15:45,700
Okay. Why?
387
00:15:45,725 --> 00:15:46,754
What else are you gonna do with
388
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,311
a thermodynamic decelerator?
389
00:15:48,336 --> 00:15:49,218
Right?
390
00:15:49,243 --> 00:15:50,776
Oh, please. Help yourself.
391
00:15:50,801 --> 00:15:52,171
Oh, Tequila?
392
00:15:52,195 --> 00:15:53,592
Condensed water.
393
00:15:53,618 --> 00:15:55,026
For maximum hydration.
394
00:15:55,051 --> 00:15:56,642
Your cells will thank you.
395
00:15:56,667 --> 00:15:58,833
Uh, is there anything
else I can get you?
396
00:15:58,859 --> 00:16:01,718
Actually, um, I was wondering
397
00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:04,539
if anyone here could help
me get into this old laptop?
398
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,549
It's a friend's. He forgot the password.
399
00:16:06,573 --> 00:16:08,852
Yeah. No problem. Uh, find Lin.
400
00:16:08,877 --> 00:16:10,544
No problem.
401
00:16:12,232 --> 00:16:14,366
Oh, is that something healthy too?
402
00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:15,903
No, it's cocaine.
403
00:16:15,928 --> 00:16:17,623
For the models.
404
00:16:17,647 --> 00:16:19,054
Unless you want some.
405
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,849
- No.
- No?
406
00:16:20,873 --> 00:16:23,442
I just want to tell
you both how glad I am
407
00:16:23,467 --> 00:16:25,000
that you're part of Empirical.
408
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,516
People can't always tell when I'm glad,
409
00:16:26,541 --> 00:16:28,025
because I'm a little on the spectrum,
410
00:16:28,050 --> 00:16:29,395
but I'm really glad.
411
00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:31,177
We are really glad too, Bryce.
412
00:16:31,202 --> 00:16:33,422
Yeah, I was worried
that a publishing house,
413
00:16:33,447 --> 00:16:35,117
especially one as old as Empirical,
414
00:16:35,142 --> 00:16:38,194
would be nothing but relics
like Charles and Diana,
415
00:16:38,219 --> 00:16:40,439
but you two get it... You get that
416
00:16:40,465 --> 00:16:42,727
we are literally on
the cusp of being able
417
00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:44,528
to do this...
418
00:16:44,553 --> 00:16:45,920
with a book.
419
00:16:45,945 --> 00:16:47,241
And you've read it.
420
00:16:47,266 --> 00:16:48,779
That's a book of photographs.
421
00:16:48,804 --> 00:16:51,717
Bottom line: if it wasn't for you two,
422
00:16:51,742 --> 00:16:54,177
and a need for some
enormous taxable losses,
423
00:16:54,202 --> 00:16:56,342
I wouldn't even bother with Empirical.
424
00:16:56,367 --> 00:16:57,618
But with you?
425
00:16:57,643 --> 00:17:00,014
I sense a paradigm shift.
426
00:17:00,355 --> 00:17:02,811
Provided you're as committed
to the future as I am.
427
00:17:02,836 --> 00:17:04,437
- Ah...
- Are you?
428
00:17:04,462 --> 00:17:06,114
- Hell yes!
- Absolutely!
429
00:17:06,139 --> 00:17:07,678
All right. Tap that.
430
00:17:07,703 --> 00:17:09,072
Oh.
431
00:17:10,105 --> 00:17:11,653
Ah, it was a big one!
432
00:17:11,678 --> 00:17:13,443
Ah, Lin. There you are.
433
00:17:13,468 --> 00:17:15,316
We need your, uh, code-cracking powers.
434
00:17:15,341 --> 00:17:17,151
This is Kelsey and Liza. This is Lin.
435
00:17:17,176 --> 00:17:18,719
Excuse me for a moment.
436
00:17:18,744 --> 00:17:20,797
I'm sure Lin can get your
laptop open in a few minutes.
437
00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:22,754
Minutes? I'm insulted.
438
00:17:22,779 --> 00:17:24,833
- Let me see it.
- Oh.
439
00:17:29,024 --> 00:17:32,208
What if he's got stuff
about other girls on there?
440
00:17:32,232 --> 00:17:34,040
Like, weird videos?
441
00:17:34,334 --> 00:17:37,189
Kelsey, you don't have to
open it if you don't want to.
442
00:17:37,214 --> 00:17:40,063
But there could be some really sweet,
meaningful stuff.
443
00:17:40,088 --> 00:17:41,709
- All done.
- Seriously?
444
00:17:41,733 --> 00:17:44,576
I know, I was hoping for
more of a challenge too.
445
00:17:44,698 --> 00:17:46,854
I'm really nervous.
446
00:17:46,879 --> 00:17:48,845
I'm right here.
447
00:17:49,123 --> 00:17:52,225
Whatever we find out,
we find out together.
448
00:17:52,250 --> 00:17:53,995
I'll give you some privacy.
449
00:17:54,020 --> 00:17:56,796
Wait, Lin. What was the password?
450
00:17:56,821 --> 00:17:58,096
"Deez nuts."
451
00:17:58,122 --> 00:18:00,021
"Deez nuts"?
452
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:02,793
- That's my favorite snack?
- Are they like Grape Nuts?
453
00:18:02,818 --> 00:18:03,927
What are Grape Nuts?
454
00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:05,440
He's saying his nuts
455
00:18:05,465 --> 00:18:06,804
are my favorite snack.
456
00:18:06,829 --> 00:18:08,118
Meaning his balls.
457
00:18:08,143 --> 00:18:09,953
Ew.
458
00:18:09,978 --> 00:18:11,643
You know what?
459
00:18:11,668 --> 00:18:13,023
I'm done.
460
00:18:13,255 --> 00:18:17,274
Deez nuts are the last secret of Thad's
461
00:18:17,299 --> 00:18:19,133
that I needed to know about.
462
00:18:21,490 --> 00:18:23,483
Hey, do me a favor.
463
00:18:23,508 --> 00:18:25,248
Launch this into the pool for me.
464
00:18:25,273 --> 00:18:27,757
Seriously? Excellent.
465
00:18:35,849 --> 00:18:38,899
Rest in peace, Thad.
466
00:18:39,874 --> 00:18:41,758
Let's get out of here.
467
00:18:48,897 --> 00:18:51,768
I'm so glad that computer's
not haunting me anymore.
468
00:18:52,551 --> 00:18:54,217
It's like I can finally breathe.
469
00:18:54,242 --> 00:18:55,919
Ah, I know what you mean.
470
00:18:55,950 --> 00:18:58,933
I mean, um, I'm so happy for you.
471
00:18:58,958 --> 00:19:00,969
I am so happy for you!
472
00:19:01,185 --> 00:19:04,169
But why didn't you tell me you
and Josh were back together?
473
00:19:04,194 --> 00:19:08,035
Honestly, it's not all really resolved.
474
00:19:08,078 --> 00:19:10,729
Well, he did mess up not including you
475
00:19:10,754 --> 00:19:12,228
in that "T Magazine" thing.
476
00:19:12,253 --> 00:19:13,986
Did he apologize for that?
477
00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:15,637
Yeah.
478
00:19:15,662 --> 00:19:17,362
And he's ready to have your relationship
479
00:19:17,387 --> 00:19:18,396
out in the open?
480
00:19:18,422 --> 00:19:20,089
There is nothing he would like more
481
00:19:20,114 --> 00:19:22,247
than an open, honest relationship.
482
00:19:22,272 --> 00:19:24,987
But sometimes you can't be
483
00:19:25,011 --> 00:19:26,273
100% honest.
484
00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:28,525
Is that like a herpes thing?
485
00:19:28,551 --> 00:19:31,039
What? No!
486
00:19:31,419 --> 00:19:33,729
I know it seems impossible,
487
00:19:34,026 --> 00:19:36,537
but he could be gone just like that.
488
00:19:36,562 --> 00:19:38,732
So if you love him,
489
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:40,945
just be with him.
490
00:19:48,423 --> 00:19:49,891
Good morning, everyone.
491
00:19:49,917 --> 00:19:51,614
I have an announcement to make.
492
00:19:51,639 --> 00:19:54,318
I'm very happy to tell you
that I just received word
493
00:19:54,343 --> 00:19:57,416
that we have a new minority partner.
494
00:19:57,441 --> 00:19:58,896
Bryce Reiger.
495
00:20:00,648 --> 00:20:03,482
And let's have a very
special round of applause
496
00:20:03,507 --> 00:20:05,530
for Kelsey and Liza.
497
00:20:05,555 --> 00:20:07,636
They really helped seal the deal.
498
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:41,850
Hi.
499
00:20:48,262 --> 00:20:50,131
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
500
00:20:50,156 --> 00:20:51,156
Hey.
501
00:20:51,181 --> 00:20:52,803
Maybe it's your turn to wait.
502
00:20:52,828 --> 00:20:54,581
I've got all the marshmallows.
503
00:20:54,606 --> 00:20:56,904
Yeah, well...
504
00:20:56,929 --> 00:20:59,035
I got the stick.
505
00:21:03,276 --> 00:21:04,675
Mm!
35526
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