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ADULT TIMMY: Growing up,
we rarely got any individual
2
00:00:02,556 --> 00:00:03,570
attention from my mom.
3
00:00:03,595 --> 00:00:05,350
And you didn't really want it.
4
00:00:05,375 --> 00:00:06,810
Why can't you be taller?
5
00:00:06,835 --> 00:00:07,951
What's the point of feeding you
6
00:00:07,976 --> 00:00:09,117
if you're not doing anything with it?
7
00:00:09,130 --> 00:00:11,669
The nurse at school said I lost an inch.
8
00:00:11,670 --> 00:00:14,079
But one day a year was
different... our birthdays.
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00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:15,709
Mom went to town
with the arts and crafts.
10
00:00:15,710 --> 00:00:17,829
Her chosen media... construction paper,
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00:00:17,830 --> 00:00:20,129
Elmer's Glue, and garbage.
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00:00:20,130 --> 00:00:24,829
ALL: ♪ Happy birthday, dear William ♪
13
00:00:24,830 --> 00:00:29,099
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
14
00:00:29,124 --> 00:00:30,162
- TIMMY: Make a wish!
- [Camera whirring]
15
00:00:30,187 --> 00:00:31,419
I wish I could see.
16
00:00:31,420 --> 00:00:33,749
Just paw around till you hit frosting.
17
00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:36,079
Congratulations. 10 is a milestone.
18
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:37,709
I'm finally off the kids' menu.
19
00:00:37,710 --> 00:00:39,169
At the movies, you're still 9.
20
00:00:39,170 --> 00:00:41,459
I found a dime in my cake.
21
00:00:41,460 --> 00:00:42,869
As a treat, when I mixed the batter,
22
00:00:42,870 --> 00:00:43,870
I threw in all the spare change
23
00:00:43,871 --> 00:00:45,129
from your father's car ashtray.
24
00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:46,378
There's cake money?
25
00:00:46,403 --> 00:00:47,522
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh!
26
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:48,999
Hey! Stop stabbing my cake!
27
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,079
- I just want the money!
- Hey!
28
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:51,080
Don't run with that knife!
29
00:00:51,081 --> 00:00:52,499
You might fall and bend it.
30
00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:54,155
- WILLIAM: Joey! Hey! Stop!
- Here's the old candles, Mom.
31
00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:55,499
They're getting pretty stubby.
32
00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:57,289
Well, if you kids sang the song faster,
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00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:58,629
it might stretch
for a few more birthdays.
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00:00:58,630 --> 00:00:59,749
Oh, just toss 'em, Peg.
35
00:00:59,750 --> 00:01:01,419
There's nothing you can do with those.
36
00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:02,959
Two fun facts about my mother...
37
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,419
she liked a creative challenge
38
00:01:04,420 --> 00:01:06,669
and didn't like my father
telling her what to do.
39
00:01:06,670 --> 00:01:11,710
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
40
00:01:12,830 --> 00:01:14,709
Andy doesn't get a wish?
41
00:01:14,710 --> 00:01:16,829
Oh, he'd just waste it on
a rattle or a diaper change.
42
00:01:16,830 --> 00:01:18,919
What do people think of my Pinocchio?
43
00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:20,999
Made it out of used birthday candles
44
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,129
and real hair I salvaged
from the shower drain.
45
00:01:23,130 --> 00:01:24,919
Oh, that's what that weird smell is.
46
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,079
What you're smelling is me being right.
47
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:28,920
You told me I should
throw those candles away.
48
00:01:28,945 --> 00:01:29,959
[Knife clatters]
49
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:31,959
- Lawrence!
- Hey.
50
00:01:31,984 --> 00:01:33,263
You came down from the seminary.
51
00:01:33,288 --> 00:01:35,091
Boy howdy, look at that hair.
52
00:01:35,116 --> 00:01:36,459
I know, it's getting a little shaggy.
53
00:01:36,460 --> 00:01:38,039
A little? You look like Cousin Itt.
54
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:39,459
[Laughing] Yeah.
55
00:01:39,460 --> 00:01:40,869
[Cartoon music plays]
56
00:01:40,870 --> 00:01:42,869
You missed cake. Where were you?
57
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,014
TIMMY: Hanging around
the "Brady Bunch" house
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00:01:44,039 --> 00:01:45,241
hoping to be discovered.
59
00:01:45,266 --> 00:01:46,305
Was Marcia there?
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00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:47,460
Ah, she's a fox.
61
00:01:47,485 --> 00:01:48,904
I could go for Jan, too.
62
00:01:48,905 --> 00:01:50,314
She's insecure...
63
00:01:50,315 --> 00:01:52,274
- I can work with that.
- Nobody was there.
64
00:01:52,275 --> 00:01:54,144
They don't even film
the show at that house.
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00:01:54,145 --> 00:01:56,104
Showbiz is all lies.
66
00:01:56,105 --> 00:01:58,354
I can't wait to be a part of it.
67
00:01:58,355 --> 00:02:01,644
Boy, that Casper is one friendly ghost.
68
00:02:01,645 --> 00:02:04,104
We will be seeing more of him
later... or not!
69
00:02:04,105 --> 00:02:05,997
He's a ghost!
70
00:02:06,022 --> 00:02:08,404
ADULT TIMMY: "Boxcar Benji" was a
local show back in the good ol' days
71
00:02:08,405 --> 00:02:10,104
when homelessness was still funny.
72
00:02:10,105 --> 00:02:12,444
BOXCAR BENJI: Let's have all
the birthday boys and girls
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00:02:12,445 --> 00:02:15,738
come on out here and strut their stuff.
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00:02:15,763 --> 00:02:18,196
ADULT TIMMY: That's when it hit me...
this show could be a way
75
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,399
to finally get my adorable
mug on television.
76
00:02:20,424 --> 00:02:22,941
Certainly all the big agents
watched "Boxcar Benji."
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00:02:22,966 --> 00:02:25,055
I was this close to being discovered.
78
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,644
Man, these kids are
embarrassing themselves.
79
00:02:27,645 --> 00:02:29,024
- I've got to get on this show.
- ♪ Boxcar Benji ♪
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00:02:29,025 --> 00:02:30,524
It's a hot ticket.
81
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:31,564
I could get you in.
82
00:02:31,565 --> 00:02:33,604
It'll cost you 20 bucks.
83
00:02:33,605 --> 00:02:34,605
And a hug.
84
00:02:34,606 --> 00:02:36,016
You want a hug?
85
00:02:36,041 --> 00:02:38,814
Not really, but it's funny
to make you do it.
86
00:02:38,815 --> 00:02:40,884
Come on. Get in here!
87
00:02:40,954 --> 00:02:42,743
This Nixon candle is really good.
88
00:02:42,744 --> 00:02:44,333
My Young Republican club
could sell these
89
00:02:44,334 --> 00:02:45,743
to raise money for the campaign.
90
00:02:45,744 --> 00:02:47,243
That's Pinocchio, not Nixon.
91
00:02:47,244 --> 00:02:48,703
Either way, it's a good notion.
92
00:02:48,704 --> 00:02:50,203
We're setting up a table
at the swap meet.
93
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:51,623
We can donate all the proceeds
94
00:02:51,624 --> 00:02:53,083
to the Committee to Re-Elect.
95
00:02:53,084 --> 00:02:54,953
What do I know about politics?
96
00:02:54,954 --> 00:02:57,083
You made a spot-on sculpture
of Richard Nixon.
97
00:02:57,084 --> 00:02:58,943
I did, didn't I?
98
00:02:58,943 --> 00:03:01,442
Well, I'd need more wax.
99
00:03:01,443 --> 00:03:02,692
I suppose I could ask
100
00:03:02,693 --> 00:03:04,181
Helen Portollo from the Altar Society
101
00:03:04,181 --> 00:03:05,595
to save the old church candles.
102
00:03:05,595 --> 00:03:07,594
Show owes me a favor since
I pretend to be her friend.
103
00:03:07,595 --> 00:03:09,066
You won't be sorry, honey.
104
00:03:09,066 --> 00:03:11,105
Some day when you tell folks
you were a Nixon supporter,
105
00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:12,856
they'll look at you in a certain way.
106
00:03:12,857 --> 00:03:14,986
- Hmm.
- Amen.
107
00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:16,226
ADULT TIMMY:
On Eddie's birthday every year,
108
00:03:16,227 --> 00:03:18,034
Mom went to twice as much trouble.
109
00:03:18,034 --> 00:03:20,784
- Want any more pancakes?
- No thanks, Mom.
110
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,913
It seems Eddie had a twin
with him in the womb
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00:03:22,914 --> 00:03:25,323
who disappeared during
the first trimester.
112
00:03:25,324 --> 00:03:27,743
Mom had made her mind up that
the vanishing twin was a girl.
113
00:03:27,744 --> 00:03:29,703
And Eddie forever carried the stigma
114
00:03:29,704 --> 00:03:31,743
of having absorbed his sister "Lynn."
115
00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:32,983
Sure you don't want any more?
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00:03:32,983 --> 00:03:35,022
Bad things happen when you're hungry.
117
00:03:35,023 --> 00:03:36,732
I'm fine.
118
00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:38,553
Then it's time to go.
119
00:03:38,553 --> 00:03:42,392
PEGGY, EDDIE & PAT:
♪ Happy birthday, dear Lynn ♪
120
00:03:42,393 --> 00:03:46,472
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
121
00:03:46,473 --> 00:03:48,648
♪ And many more ♪
122
00:03:48,673 --> 00:03:50,213
[Clicks tongue]
123
00:03:52,034 --> 00:03:52,948
[Blows air]
124
00:03:52,948 --> 00:03:54,698
Lynn's here. We've stirred her!
125
00:03:54,723 --> 00:03:56,682
- Look!
- Oh, nonsense.
126
00:03:56,707 --> 00:03:57,949
Lynn's up in Heaven.
127
00:03:57,949 --> 00:03:59,948
And she wouldn't be wearing
denim on her birthday.
128
00:03:59,949 --> 00:04:02,068
Maybe she's come for revenge.
129
00:04:02,069 --> 00:04:03,658
This is gonna be distracting.
130
00:04:03,659 --> 00:04:05,780
Please ask that girl
to leave the cemetery.
131
00:04:05,805 --> 00:04:07,802
[Sighs]
132
00:04:07,802 --> 00:04:11,046
EDDIE: It's just one day a year.
It's just one day a year.
133
00:04:11,047 --> 00:04:12,416
[Camera shutter clicks]
134
00:04:12,417 --> 00:04:14,431
Sorry to bother you,
135
00:04:14,456 --> 00:04:15,874
especially if you're grieving.
136
00:04:15,874 --> 00:04:17,793
But could you please mourn
someplace else?
137
00:04:17,794 --> 00:04:19,253
You're scaring my little brother.
138
00:04:19,254 --> 00:04:20,953
He thinks you're
the ghost of my dead twin
139
00:04:20,954 --> 00:04:22,493
who I absorbed in the womb.
140
00:04:22,494 --> 00:04:23,754
I get that a lot.
141
00:04:25,605 --> 00:04:27,854
What's with the camera?
Is this somebody famous?
142
00:04:27,855 --> 00:04:30,184
The original Lassie
is buried here somewhere.
143
00:04:30,185 --> 00:04:31,992
He was really a boy, by the way.
144
00:04:31,992 --> 00:04:33,741
This is the grave of Jean Kittering.
145
00:04:33,742 --> 00:04:35,491
The first women doctor in this area.
146
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,621
So, who did women go to
before he came along?
147
00:04:37,622 --> 00:04:39,649
A woman doctor, not a doctor for women.
148
00:04:39,674 --> 00:04:41,187
So he wouldn't treat women?
149
00:04:41,228 --> 00:04:42,776
No, she was a woman.
150
00:04:43,622 --> 00:04:45,366
Oh!
151
00:04:45,391 --> 00:04:47,911
And I assumed because Jean was a doctor
152
00:04:47,912 --> 00:04:48,973
she couldn't be a woman.
153
00:04:48,973 --> 00:04:51,762
That's a nice reminder
that women can do anything.
154
00:04:51,763 --> 00:04:53,639
Except play Lassie...
155
00:04:53,639 --> 00:04:55,189
who is around here somewhere.
156
00:04:56,719 --> 00:04:59,178
Because it's somebody's birthday!
157
00:04:59,179 --> 00:05:00,598
Is it?
158
00:05:00,599 --> 00:05:02,391
[TV audience shouts] Yeah!
159
00:05:02,416 --> 00:05:04,706
- No?!
- Here you are. "Boxcar Benji."
160
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,868
- Outstanding.
- I thought so.
161
00:05:07,868 --> 00:05:10,487
"All audience members must be
10 years of age or younger."
162
00:05:10,488 --> 00:05:12,130
Oh, no problem.
163
00:05:12,155 --> 00:05:14,071
My headshot says I can play 8 to 25.
164
00:05:14,071 --> 00:05:15,608
An "ID will be required."
165
00:05:15,633 --> 00:05:17,328
I'll get you a fake ID, easy.
166
00:05:17,353 --> 00:05:19,602
I-I could even get you
a pilot's license.
167
00:05:19,603 --> 00:05:21,232
By the way, if you ever hear,
168
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:22,972
"This is your captain, Warren Ashby,"
169
00:05:22,973 --> 00:05:24,704
I suggest a hasty disembark.
170
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:26,800
[Doorbell chimes]
171
00:05:27,563 --> 00:05:29,182
BOXCAR BENJI: ♪ Check your
bindles at the door ♪
172
00:05:29,183 --> 00:05:30,808
April Portollo? [Laughs]
173
00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:32,437
Last time I saw you
was the fourth grade,
174
00:05:32,438 --> 00:05:33,847
we were playing hide and seek.
175
00:05:33,848 --> 00:05:35,847
- Well, then I'd say I won.
- [Laughs]
176
00:05:35,848 --> 00:05:37,807
My mom asked me to drop
these off for your mom.
177
00:05:37,808 --> 00:05:40,557
Yeah, she needs wax
for her Nixon project.
178
00:05:40,558 --> 00:05:42,017
I thought Agnew was the one made of wax.
179
00:05:42,018 --> 00:05:44,939
And Nixon was made out of lies
and children's tears.
180
00:05:44,939 --> 00:05:47,188
Well, my dad says
that in these tough times,
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00:05:47,189 --> 00:05:48,848
we need a strong leader like Nixon.
182
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,440
Hmm. What do you say?
183
00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,809
Even Catholics are entitled
to think for themselves.
184
00:05:53,810 --> 00:05:56,439
Hmm. I guess I repeat what my dad says,
185
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,149
just in a less frightening tone.
186
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:00,359
WENDI: How often do you come out here?
187
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,609
EDDIE: Just for my birthday.
188
00:06:01,610 --> 00:06:03,399
Which would have been
Lynn's birthday, too,
189
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,809
if I hadn't hogged
all the amniotic fluid.
190
00:06:05,810 --> 00:06:09,769
That's so strange,
because I crave amniotic fluid.
191
00:06:10,751 --> 00:06:12,300
[Imitating ghost] Oooooooooh.
192
00:06:12,301 --> 00:06:14,420
- I'm kidding.
- [Laughing]
193
00:06:14,421 --> 00:06:17,000
If I was your sister's ghost,
194
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:19,776
would I ask you to
take me out some time?
195
00:06:19,776 --> 00:06:21,735
You heard all my weird family stuff
196
00:06:21,736 --> 00:06:22,945
- and you still want to go out with me?
- [Paper rustles]
197
00:06:22,946 --> 00:06:24,133
You're cute,
198
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:25,946
plus you know a lot about Lassie.
199
00:06:25,971 --> 00:06:27,922
I do. For the dangerous stunts,
200
00:06:27,923 --> 00:06:30,682
they used a Shetland pony
in a collie suit.
201
00:06:30,683 --> 00:06:33,132
- But I'll save the rest for our date.
- [Motor whirring in distance]
202
00:06:33,133 --> 00:06:35,428
I should go before I change my mind.
203
00:06:37,359 --> 00:06:38,855
Thank you, Lynn!
204
00:06:39,553 --> 00:06:41,012
Oh, no.
205
00:06:41,013 --> 00:06:44,310
Oh, no, no! No, no! Aah! No!
206
00:06:44,335 --> 00:06:46,722
[Gasping]
207
00:06:46,723 --> 00:06:48,183
[Panting]
208
00:06:50,879 --> 00:06:51,903
Oh.
209
00:06:51,903 --> 00:06:53,010
There's Lassie.
210
00:06:53,010 --> 00:06:56,019
Kids, let's go! Birthday time!
211
00:06:56,020 --> 00:06:58,479
ADULT TIMMY: My mom got pretty busy
making and selling candles for Nixon.
212
00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,769
It fell to our dad to take over
when it came to our birthdays.
213
00:07:00,770 --> 00:07:03,849
Where's all the decorations?
214
00:07:03,850 --> 00:07:05,559
Here. Turn this into a crown.
215
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,769
ALL: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
216
00:07:08,770 --> 00:07:11,559
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
217
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,559
♪ The song's almost over ♪
218
00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,349
♪ Happy birthday ♪
219
00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:18,399
♪ To you ♪
220
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:19,899
Make a wish.
221
00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:21,197
There aren't any candles.
222
00:07:21,197 --> 00:07:22,631
Just blow on the cake so we can eat it.
223
00:07:22,656 --> 00:07:23,913
I'll help.
224
00:07:23,938 --> 00:07:25,584
I'm definitely not having any now.
225
00:07:25,609 --> 00:07:27,148
Enjoy your spit cake.
226
00:07:27,173 --> 00:07:29,306
Want to go get his present?
227
00:07:29,331 --> 00:07:32,330
Or you could go get his present.
228
00:07:32,331 --> 00:07:34,504
I worked a long day,
229
00:07:34,504 --> 00:07:36,543
stopped to get dinner
and a cake on my way home,
230
00:07:36,544 --> 00:07:38,323
so I guess now I'll go to our bedroom
231
00:07:38,348 --> 00:07:40,163
and get Frank that present
232
00:07:40,164 --> 00:07:42,793
we put a lot of thought into. [Chuckles]
233
00:07:42,794 --> 00:07:46,456
I know a lucky boy
who's getting a shoe tree.
234
00:07:46,964 --> 00:07:48,503
- Yes!
- [Door closes]
235
00:07:48,504 --> 00:07:50,503
Hey. Did I miss Frank's birthday?
236
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:51,789
I bought him a shaving kit.
237
00:07:51,789 --> 00:07:54,515
Oh, so thoughtful. This is from me now.
238
00:07:54,789 --> 00:07:56,918
So you're still in the candle business?
239
00:07:56,919 --> 00:07:58,998
I just hope these Nixon people
put the money to good use.
240
00:07:58,999 --> 00:08:01,528
Yeah, buy more fear-mongering TV ads.
241
00:08:01,553 --> 00:08:03,190
Yeah, those are very good.
242
00:08:03,215 --> 00:08:05,698
- Vote for Nixon or ka-boom!
- Yeah.
243
00:08:05,723 --> 00:08:07,748
It's good to see you
doing your own thing, Mom.
244
00:08:07,749 --> 00:08:09,628
You've always been so talented, yeah.
245
00:08:09,629 --> 00:08:11,078
It's time other people saw that.
246
00:08:11,079 --> 00:08:12,538
Ugh, people.
247
00:08:12,539 --> 00:08:14,328
I like making stuff for our family.
248
00:08:14,329 --> 00:08:16,231
But now that I'm part of
the Nixon administration,
249
00:08:16,256 --> 00:08:17,368
who has the time?
250
00:08:17,369 --> 00:08:18,578
Other than the shaving kit,
251
00:08:18,579 --> 00:08:20,368
I really dropped the ball
on Frank's birthday.
252
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:23,498
Then stop making candles.
Dad'll understand.
253
00:08:23,499 --> 00:08:25,215
Then Nixon loses, the Reds take over,
254
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:26,253
the whole country's mad at me?
255
00:08:26,278 --> 00:08:27,208
No thanks.
256
00:08:27,209 --> 00:08:28,748
- Mom, Pat's choking!
- [Coughing in distance]
257
00:08:28,749 --> 00:08:29,762
[Sighs]
258
00:08:29,787 --> 00:08:32,575
Whoever invented candle-making
did not have kids.
259
00:08:33,765 --> 00:08:35,684
- [Coughs]
- Under control, Peg.
260
00:08:35,709 --> 00:08:38,429
- Just a coin from the cake.
- Dad had me stick a few quarters in.
261
00:08:38,454 --> 00:08:40,503
Quarters? We use dimes and pennies.
262
00:08:40,528 --> 00:08:41,918
Quarters are much too generous.
263
00:08:41,919 --> 00:08:43,559
- Oh, so this is my fault?
- [Pat coughing, coin jingles]
264
00:08:43,584 --> 00:08:45,746
Oh, it's out.
265
00:08:46,749 --> 00:08:48,406
PEGGY: Gosh. Honestly.
266
00:08:49,907 --> 00:08:51,576
Peg, this isn't working.
267
00:08:51,601 --> 00:08:54,061
I had to bring home Sara Lee
and McDonald's tonight.
268
00:08:54,086 --> 00:08:56,171
I don't want these kids
to start expecting the finer things.
269
00:08:56,201 --> 00:08:57,701
It's this candle rigmarole.
270
00:08:57,726 --> 00:08:59,912
- I was just saying to Lawrence...
- That you're gonna give it up?
271
00:08:59,937 --> 00:09:01,035
- Because you've really been
- Well, actually...
272
00:09:01,060 --> 00:09:02,119
letting things slide around here.
273
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,409
Look, I know your heart's set on it,
274
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:05,529
but I'm putting my foot down.
275
00:09:05,530 --> 00:09:07,199
You're putting your foot where?
276
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:08,792
As usual, talking to my mom like this
277
00:09:08,817 --> 00:09:11,067
just made her do the opposite
of what he wanted...
278
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,739
even though it was the opposite
of what she wanted, too.
279
00:09:13,764 --> 00:09:15,079
I'm putting it down, Peg.
280
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,789
This candle nonsense is done.
281
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:20,329
Over the years, my parents
perfected a kind of arguing...
282
00:09:21,385 --> 00:09:22,594
Candles for sale.
283
00:09:22,619 --> 00:09:23,813
...where one of them would lose...
284
00:09:23,838 --> 00:09:25,188
Nixon fundraising candles.
285
00:09:25,213 --> 00:09:27,190
...and the other one would
somehow also lose.
286
00:09:28,295 --> 00:09:30,358
I just wanted to say
happy birthday, son.
287
00:09:30,358 --> 00:09:31,848
You get that care package Mom sent?
288
00:09:31,873 --> 00:09:33,324
Yeah, I wore my crown to breakfast
289
00:09:33,349 --> 00:09:34,622
and got quite the ribbing.
290
00:09:34,647 --> 00:09:36,597
You know, you'd think the
Catholic Church would have
291
00:09:36,598 --> 00:09:38,429
a little bit more acceptance
for people in funny hats.
292
00:09:38,476 --> 00:09:40,645
I know your mom will miss seeing you...
293
00:09:40,646 --> 00:09:42,225
she's soft that way.
294
00:09:42,257 --> 00:09:44,725
Peg, you want to say hey to Lawrence?
295
00:09:44,726 --> 00:09:46,935
I'm good. They're $4 apiece.
296
00:09:46,936 --> 00:09:48,435
Thank you.
297
00:09:48,436 --> 00:09:50,244
[Laughs]
298
00:09:50,269 --> 00:09:52,658
These weirdos aren't buying
our candles patriotically.
299
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:54,391
- They just want to mock our President.
- Who cares?
300
00:09:54,391 --> 00:09:56,060
I'm outselling everyone,
even the sturdy woman
301
00:09:56,061 --> 00:09:57,333
who makes pottery.
302
00:09:57,333 --> 00:10:01,130
Oh, your wax effigies are lovely, dear.
303
00:10:01,155 --> 00:10:03,372
Oh. They're really excellent,
aren't they?
304
00:10:03,373 --> 00:10:06,662
I do watercolor portraiture myself.
305
00:10:06,663 --> 00:10:09,942
Would you be interested
in an artist's trade?
306
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:12,080
Careful, that could be
beatnik code for a drug deal.
307
00:10:12,105 --> 00:10:13,941
Shh, artists are talking.
308
00:10:13,942 --> 00:10:15,901
I could paint a portrait of you
309
00:10:15,902 --> 00:10:18,111
in exchange for one of your pieces.
310
00:10:18,112 --> 00:10:20,151
Oh, I would never want
a picture of myself.
311
00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:21,600
- I'm not that crazy.
- Oh. [Chuckles]
312
00:10:21,625 --> 00:10:22,827
What I'd really love is a painting
313
00:10:22,852 --> 00:10:25,099
- of my unborn daughter Lynn.
- Oh.
314
00:10:25,099 --> 00:10:26,775
All right, Peg, you about done here?
315
00:10:26,776 --> 00:10:29,565
Not even close, these things
are selling like hot-pants.
316
00:10:29,566 --> 00:10:30,745
Well, I got to go.
317
00:10:30,745 --> 00:10:32,374
I've got family responsibilities...
318
00:10:32,375 --> 00:10:34,178
child supervision, lawn maintenance...
319
00:10:34,203 --> 00:10:37,204
the kind of things I put
before any frivolous hobbies.
320
00:10:37,205 --> 00:10:38,422
Got it.
321
00:10:38,447 --> 00:10:40,374
But would you mind taking this empty box
322
00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:41,874
we brought the candles in?
323
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:44,669
There you go.
Oh, wait, this one's empty, too.
324
00:10:44,694 --> 00:10:46,936
And this one. This one, too.
325
00:10:46,995 --> 00:10:49,784
Gosh, guess I sold
more of my frivolous hobbies
326
00:10:49,785 --> 00:10:51,492
than I realized today.
327
00:10:52,495 --> 00:10:54,334
HELEN: Peggy!
328
00:10:54,335 --> 00:10:56,313
Oh, hi, Helen.
329
00:10:56,338 --> 00:10:58,044
- I've been dying to catch up with you.
- Oh.
330
00:10:58,044 --> 00:11:00,011
Steven and I just
got back from Acapulco.
331
00:11:00,036 --> 00:11:02,688
- I can see your tan.
- Not all of it!
332
00:11:02,688 --> 00:11:04,509
The way the beaches are down there...
333
00:11:04,509 --> 00:11:06,202
[Hushed] ...I'm the same color all over.
334
00:11:06,227 --> 00:11:07,508
Oh.
335
00:11:07,509 --> 00:11:08,918
You know, you and Mike should go.
336
00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:10,764
Maybe someday when we're older,
337
00:11:10,764 --> 00:11:12,035
like you and Steven.
338
00:11:12,060 --> 00:11:13,700
Well, why wait?
339
00:11:13,725 --> 00:11:15,379
I mean, you don't have
to stay where we stayed.
340
00:11:15,380 --> 00:11:17,219
There's plenty of lower-priced options.
341
00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:20,325
- These are so clever.
- Mm.
342
00:11:20,325 --> 00:11:22,324
You know, when you asked me
for the used altar candles,
343
00:11:22,325 --> 00:11:24,618
I was really worried
that the electric company
344
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:26,034
had finally shut off your lights.
345
00:11:26,035 --> 00:11:27,314
EDDIE: Here's some more Pinocchios, Mom.
346
00:11:27,339 --> 00:11:29,251
They're Nixons now, keep up.
347
00:11:29,276 --> 00:11:30,611
I just saw Lynn's ghost!
348
00:11:30,636 --> 00:11:31,824
She followed me here!
349
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,383
You saw the girl from the cemetery?
350
00:11:33,408 --> 00:11:34,654
- Where?
- This way.
351
00:11:34,655 --> 00:11:36,614
There's also a dead bird
you can pet for free.
352
00:11:36,615 --> 00:11:39,534
You know, my friend runs
the Spencer Gifts
353
00:11:39,572 --> 00:11:41,404
at the new Eagle Rock mall.
354
00:11:41,405 --> 00:11:43,757
It's very, very upscale...
I'm sure you haven't been there.
355
00:11:43,782 --> 00:11:46,244
But I bet that she could sell these.
356
00:11:46,245 --> 00:11:47,781
You think my little doodads
357
00:11:47,806 --> 00:11:49,648
are good enough to sell at the mall?
358
00:11:49,673 --> 00:11:52,204
Oh, please, you wouldn't
believe the tacky junk
359
00:11:52,205 --> 00:11:54,260
people waste their money on these days.
360
00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:56,376
Why don't I just take a few to her
361
00:11:56,401 --> 00:11:57,470
and see what she thinks.
362
00:11:57,495 --> 00:11:59,384
Oh, Helen, that is so kind of you.
363
00:11:59,409 --> 00:12:00,639
Gosh, I just don't understand
364
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:02,639
why people say
such awful things about you.
365
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:03,720
[Laughs]
366
00:12:05,566 --> 00:12:07,235
Ernie. Meet my brother.
367
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:09,854
[Hushed] I-I'd like a false ID, please.
368
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:12,665
I need to be 10 years old
to go to "Boxcar Benji."
369
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:14,174
A 10-year-old with a driver's license
370
00:12:14,199 --> 00:12:15,803
is gonna look suspicious.
371
00:12:15,828 --> 00:12:17,197
Except in Honduras.
372
00:12:17,222 --> 00:12:18,635
They got kid taxi drivers.
373
00:12:18,660 --> 00:12:19,983
That place is a mess.
374
00:12:19,983 --> 00:12:21,836
I got to get down there
before the party's over.
375
00:12:21,836 --> 00:12:23,803
A passport ought to do it.
Fill this out.
376
00:12:23,803 --> 00:12:25,052
Have it back to you in a couple weeks.
377
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:26,468
- Thanks, Ernie.
- All right.
378
00:12:26,493 --> 00:12:28,203
Hey, you're forgetting something.
379
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:32,992
She's in there.
380
00:12:32,993 --> 00:12:35,412
I didn't know ghosts
went to the bathroom.
381
00:12:35,413 --> 00:12:37,332
- Or girls.
- Boy-oh-boy,
382
00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:39,269
I've been trying to find this
girl since my birthday,
383
00:12:39,269 --> 00:12:40,674
but I didn't even catch her name.
384
00:12:40,674 --> 00:12:43,199
Her name is Lynn and now she's pooping.
385
00:12:43,224 --> 00:12:44,343
Thanks for the help,
386
00:12:44,368 --> 00:12:46,810
but when she comes out, play it cool.
387
00:12:46,835 --> 00:12:49,415
Oh, I know how to be with women.
388
00:12:51,830 --> 00:12:53,579
You look beautiful, Lynn.
389
00:12:53,674 --> 00:12:55,213
And that was the day
it was finally confirmed
390
00:12:55,214 --> 00:12:56,483
that Pat needed...
391
00:12:56,508 --> 00:12:58,905
Glasses! I got glasses!
392
00:12:58,930 --> 00:13:00,194
Here, Frank.
393
00:13:00,219 --> 00:13:01,599
We short-changed you on your birthday,
394
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:02,625
so I got you something, too.
395
00:13:04,831 --> 00:13:07,436
- A glasses repair kit?
- Those glasses aren't cheap.
396
00:13:07,436 --> 00:13:09,222
- It won't be long before that kid...
- They broke.
397
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:11,097
The gift of responsibility.
398
00:13:11,122 --> 00:13:12,292
Thanks a lot, Dad.
399
00:13:14,353 --> 00:13:16,103
I just got my passport in the mail.
400
00:13:18,683 --> 00:13:21,052
Look at that raised lettering.
401
00:13:21,053 --> 00:13:23,012
For a low-life,
Ernie does exemplary work.
402
00:13:23,013 --> 00:13:24,552
But it says I'm from Denmark.
403
00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:26,231
And he gave you a bitchin' name, too.
404
00:13:26,231 --> 00:13:28,025
"Donk Slimhammer."
405
00:13:29,189 --> 00:13:31,558
The whole point was to make
"Timmy Cleary" famous.
406
00:13:31,583 --> 00:13:33,625
I think it's Donk's time to shine.
407
00:13:33,658 --> 00:13:35,617
Timmy Cleary, eh.
408
00:13:35,642 --> 00:13:38,975
Donk Slimhammer,
that guy's going places.
409
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:40,380
PEGGY: I'm here!
410
00:13:40,405 --> 00:13:42,963
We can start Pat's birthday now.
411
00:13:43,519 --> 00:13:45,598
Oh. Oh.
412
00:13:45,623 --> 00:13:47,058
Oh, you guys started without me.
413
00:13:47,059 --> 00:13:48,228
Is that Mom?
414
00:13:48,229 --> 00:13:49,668
And you gave him his glasses,
415
00:13:49,693 --> 00:13:51,748
even though I'm the one
who found them on a bus bench.
416
00:13:51,773 --> 00:13:53,482
You sound like my mom.
417
00:13:53,483 --> 00:13:54,569
You're so busy, Peg,
418
00:13:54,594 --> 00:13:55,812
I never know when you're gonna show up.
419
00:13:55,813 --> 00:13:57,097
And where's everybody else?
420
00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:59,136
Oh... Eddie had a thing,
Timmy had a thing,
421
00:13:59,137 --> 00:14:01,056
Joey didn't have a thing
but he had no interest.
422
00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:02,503
Family birthdays are like Mass
423
00:14:02,528 --> 00:14:04,372
on the Feast of the Most Holy
Blood of Saint Boniface...
424
00:14:04,372 --> 00:14:05,541
attendance is mandatory.
425
00:14:05,542 --> 00:14:07,001
Except for you.
426
00:14:07,002 --> 00:14:08,751
Okay, you know what, Mike?
427
00:14:08,752 --> 00:14:10,461
Don't worry about it.
428
00:14:10,462 --> 00:14:12,029
I'll just do everything...
I'll do the birthdays
429
00:14:12,054 --> 00:14:14,371
and I'll single-handedly get
our President re-elected.
430
00:14:14,372 --> 00:14:16,041
But right now I'm gonna go bake Pat
431
00:14:16,042 --> 00:14:18,331
an old-fashioned, home-made
birthday cake from a box.
432
00:14:18,332 --> 00:14:20,291
- I already have a cake.
- You're getting another one!
433
00:14:20,292 --> 00:14:21,872
♪♪
434
00:14:24,257 --> 00:14:26,512
[Exhales sharply]
435
00:14:26,512 --> 00:14:28,957
Hey, there's a present for Timmy
in the closet there.
436
00:14:29,237 --> 00:14:31,767
- Can I help, Momma?
- I don't know, Pat, can you?
437
00:14:31,792 --> 00:14:32,792
No.
438
00:14:32,817 --> 00:14:33,911
What the heck is this?
439
00:14:33,911 --> 00:14:36,450
You're getting Timmy a picture
of Eddie wearing pigtails?
440
00:14:36,451 --> 00:14:38,845
It's a look you might consider.
It frames your face nicely.
441
00:14:38,870 --> 00:14:40,003
PEGGY: No. You grabbed the wrong tube.
442
00:14:40,028 --> 00:14:42,314
That's the Lynn painting I got
from that swap meet weirdo.
443
00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:43,689
That doesn't look like Lynn at all.
444
00:14:43,689 --> 00:14:45,861
This is crazy, Mom, you have to stop.
445
00:14:45,862 --> 00:14:47,931
You've hung this Lynn thing
over me for way too long,
446
00:14:47,956 --> 00:14:48,966
trying to make me feel guilty
447
00:14:48,966 --> 00:14:50,795
for something I had nothing to do with.
448
00:14:50,796 --> 00:14:52,037
You were the last one to see her.
449
00:14:52,062 --> 00:14:53,335
I didn't even have eyes yet!
450
00:14:53,336 --> 00:14:55,125
It was a long time ago, Mom.
451
00:14:55,126 --> 00:14:58,023
If we can forgive the Germans,
we can maybe forgive Eddie.
452
00:14:58,048 --> 00:14:59,967
I haven't forgiven the Germans.
453
00:14:59,968 --> 00:15:02,217
[Inhales sharply] You're right.
454
00:15:02,218 --> 00:15:03,912
Who's to say what happened in there?
455
00:15:03,912 --> 00:15:05,897
And it's certainly not healthy
to brood on things.
456
00:15:05,921 --> 00:15:07,499
- Thank you.
- Next time any of you die,
457
00:15:07,523 --> 00:15:09,176
I promise not to dwell.
458
00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:11,845
I guess I won't get it framed
and hang it over your bed.
459
00:15:11,846 --> 00:15:12,965
For now.
460
00:15:12,966 --> 00:15:14,885
The real Lynn is prettier anyway.
461
00:15:14,886 --> 00:15:16,096
See?
462
00:15:17,926 --> 00:15:20,096
My God! It's her.
463
00:15:22,386 --> 00:15:24,515
[Rotary phone clicks]
464
00:15:24,516 --> 00:15:26,532
Hello? Directory assistance.
465
00:15:26,556 --> 00:15:30,118
My name is Eddie and I need you
to find a number for me.
466
00:15:32,346 --> 00:15:33,845
[Laughs] Nice threads.
467
00:15:33,846 --> 00:15:35,765
Is that the latest fashion
from Copenhagen?
468
00:15:35,766 --> 00:15:37,225
TIMMY: It's gonna be hard slipping away.
469
00:15:37,226 --> 00:15:38,800
Mom seems extra excited
about this birthday.
470
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:40,123
She loves birthdays.
471
00:15:40,123 --> 00:15:42,641
Another chance to take a bow
for pushing out eight kids.
472
00:15:42,641 --> 00:15:45,684
Congratulations,
you did what a cat can do.
473
00:15:47,021 --> 00:15:48,100
[Groans]
474
00:15:48,101 --> 00:15:50,890
Hells bells! That hair, Lawrence.
475
00:15:50,891 --> 00:15:52,260
You walk in a room these days,
476
00:15:52,261 --> 00:15:53,640
I think it's Jesus come to take me.
477
00:15:53,641 --> 00:15:54,944
Then I realize it's just you
478
00:15:54,969 --> 00:15:56,560
and I still have to do
tomorrow's laundry.
479
00:15:56,561 --> 00:15:58,060
While you're at it...
480
00:15:58,115 --> 00:16:01,103
Oh, there's my boy! Or girl.
481
00:16:01,103 --> 00:16:02,668
- [Chuckles]
- Getting harder to tell these days.
482
00:16:02,669 --> 00:16:04,732
It's just hair, Dad...
trying something different.
483
00:16:04,757 --> 00:16:06,372
- Everybody wants to be "different."
- Mm.
484
00:16:06,397 --> 00:16:08,066
You know what would really be different?
485
00:16:08,091 --> 00:16:11,746
Just being the same.
"The same" would be different.
486
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:14,248
Hmm. You got some sort
of point there, Dad.
487
00:16:14,249 --> 00:16:16,038
I'm gonna go wash up for the party.
488
00:16:16,039 --> 00:16:18,908
The party. Your surprise for Timmy.
489
00:16:18,909 --> 00:16:20,177
- Mm.
- [Chuckles]
490
00:16:20,202 --> 00:16:21,788
You're full of surprises.
491
00:16:21,789 --> 00:16:24,578
Helen Portollo just dropped off a check.
492
00:16:24,579 --> 00:16:25,628
They paid me for my candles.
493
00:16:25,628 --> 00:16:27,247
Apparently you're selling
them in the mall now?
494
00:16:27,248 --> 00:16:28,553
The Spencer Gifts in Eagle Rock,
495
00:16:28,578 --> 00:16:29,750
and they're going like gang-busters.
496
00:16:29,775 --> 00:16:31,747
They even outsold those teeth
that run around on tables.
497
00:16:31,748 --> 00:16:32,920
- [Envelope rustles]
- At what price, Peg?
498
00:16:32,945 --> 00:16:33,996
$3.99.
499
00:16:33,996 --> 00:16:35,718
10% off if you say Peggy sent you.
500
00:16:35,743 --> 00:16:37,205
I mean what it costs your family.
501
00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:38,865
[Birds chirping in distance]
502
00:16:38,866 --> 00:16:40,624
It doesn't cost us anything,
503
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:44,146
in fact here's a check
with my name on it.
504
00:16:44,146 --> 00:16:45,563
"Mrs. Michael Cleary."
505
00:16:45,564 --> 00:16:46,733
And I'm not letting anything slide.
506
00:16:46,734 --> 00:16:47,734
The kids are all fed and clothed.
507
00:16:47,735 --> 00:16:48,983
I know where most of them are,
508
00:16:48,984 --> 00:16:50,029
and I'm about to throw Timmy
509
00:16:50,054 --> 00:16:51,087
the best party he's ever had.
510
00:16:51,087 --> 00:16:53,666
So what exactly is the problem, Mike?
511
00:16:53,783 --> 00:16:57,202
Everybody out to the garage!
We're having a party!
512
00:16:57,258 --> 00:16:58,917
Why do you look so stupid?
513
00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:00,377
It's Danish.
514
00:17:00,378 --> 00:17:02,047
Okay, you wouldn't get it.
515
00:17:02,048 --> 00:17:03,957
I've got five minutes to catch my bus.
516
00:17:03,958 --> 00:17:06,173
What on earth does Mom need
to show me in the garage?
517
00:17:06,173 --> 00:17:07,427
Maybe they finally rented you
518
00:17:07,428 --> 00:17:08,884
that boxing kangaroo you always ask for.
519
00:17:08,884 --> 00:17:10,623
I'm not getting my hopes up again.
520
00:17:10,624 --> 00:17:13,043
Timmy, I know you love
that show with the bum.
521
00:17:13,044 --> 00:17:15,623
So I tried to get you tickets
but found out you were too old.
522
00:17:15,624 --> 00:17:18,624
So I did the next best thing.
523
00:17:21,754 --> 00:17:25,423
♪♪
524
00:17:25,424 --> 00:17:26,923
Ta-da!
525
00:17:26,924 --> 00:17:28,793
You did all this?
526
00:17:28,818 --> 00:17:30,148
Happy birthday, Timmy.
527
00:17:32,924 --> 00:17:35,662
♪ Check your bindles at the door ♪
528
00:17:35,741 --> 00:17:38,053
♪ Boogie on down to the dance floor ♪
529
00:17:38,053 --> 00:17:39,912
I was trapped, trapped in that way
530
00:17:39,963 --> 00:17:41,857
only a loving family can trap you.
531
00:17:41,896 --> 00:17:44,212
I wanted so much to catch my bus
532
00:17:44,213 --> 00:17:45,962
and get my moment of TV stardom
533
00:17:45,963 --> 00:17:47,842
on the real "Boxcar Benji" show.
534
00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:50,632
Fun! I didn't miss it!
535
00:17:52,173 --> 00:17:53,747
♪ Dance with Boxcar Benji
to the birthday... ♪
536
00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:54,382
But my mom.
537
00:17:54,382 --> 00:17:55,781
She wanted so much to give this to me,
538
00:17:55,821 --> 00:17:59,047
something hand-crafted
from the heart for my birthday.
539
00:17:59,047 --> 00:18:01,775
♪ A can of beans
and your two good feet ♪
540
00:18:01,837 --> 00:18:04,924
♪ Riding the rails to that hobo beat ♪
541
00:18:04,949 --> 00:18:07,918
♪ Seeing the world from a boxcar seat ♪
542
00:18:07,988 --> 00:18:10,676
♪ Being a hobo is so darn neat ♪
543
00:18:10,738 --> 00:18:12,400
♪ Boxcar Benji ♪
544
00:18:12,447 --> 00:18:13,752
I made my choice.
545
00:18:13,827 --> 00:18:16,127
I put family before stardom.
546
00:18:16,943 --> 00:18:19,205
It would not be the last time
I made that dumb mistake.
547
00:18:19,236 --> 00:18:20,508
[All cheering]
548
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,518
- Yeah!
- Whoo-hoo!
549
00:18:22,572 --> 00:18:24,862
[Sighs] I stashed a sliver away
550
00:18:24,863 --> 00:18:27,929
before those jackals
snarfed it all down.
551
00:18:28,221 --> 00:18:29,587
I'm fine, thank you.
552
00:18:29,788 --> 00:18:30,992
[Exhales sharply]
553
00:18:30,993 --> 00:18:34,349
[Indistinct talking on TV]
554
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:35,271
Mmm.
555
00:18:35,271 --> 00:18:37,367
Is that cherry I'm tasting
in your frosting?
556
00:18:37,771 --> 00:18:39,345
That piece was meant for Pat.
557
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:40,563
I mixed some cough syrup in
558
00:18:40,563 --> 00:18:42,969
to try to tamp him down a notch.
559
00:18:43,048 --> 00:18:45,519
You gave Timmy a heck of a party, Peg.
560
00:18:46,048 --> 00:18:48,587
You're running things around
here like you always did
561
00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:50,212
and also making money.
562
00:18:51,878 --> 00:18:53,776
I've got no right to complain.
563
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:56,062
Oh, Mike.
564
00:18:56,998 --> 00:19:00,372
That's so... true.
565
00:19:00,708 --> 00:19:02,175
I guess I just like being the one
566
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,765
that brings home the bacon around here.
567
00:19:04,458 --> 00:19:07,085
When I saw that check today,
568
00:19:07,692 --> 00:19:09,521
it just made me feel like...
569
00:19:09,627 --> 00:19:12,090
[Inhales deeply] ...what am I here for?
570
00:19:12,135 --> 00:19:14,380
Are you kidding? [Clicks tongue]
571
00:19:14,448 --> 00:19:17,949
I look around at our family
and what we've built...
572
00:19:19,022 --> 00:19:21,564
I realize you're the only person
I like in this house.
573
00:19:21,564 --> 00:19:22,985
I feel the same way.
574
00:19:23,447 --> 00:19:25,615
And I-I want to be supportive.
575
00:19:25,963 --> 00:19:29,881
So, just know that I'm happy
you're making candles,
576
00:19:30,179 --> 00:19:31,219
and I want you to keep doing it.
577
00:19:31,219 --> 00:19:32,101
- I'm gonna quit.
- [Plate clatters]
578
00:19:32,126 --> 00:19:33,889
What? No, you have a talent.
579
00:19:33,890 --> 00:19:35,899
- I insist you use it.
- [Inhales sharply]
580
00:19:36,001 --> 00:19:37,359
Are you putting your foot down?
581
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,453
I'll be using my foot very judiciously
582
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:42,889
from here on out.
583
00:19:42,938 --> 00:19:45,375
Mike, I never wanted to be
a high-powered career woman
584
00:19:45,430 --> 00:19:49,429
like Mary Tyler Moore or Betty Crocker.
585
00:19:49,493 --> 00:19:52,071
I'll just go back to being a
creative genius around here,
586
00:19:52,118 --> 00:19:53,650
like I've always been.
587
00:19:54,079 --> 00:19:58,683
Here, use this to pay
the Water and Power,
588
00:19:58,683 --> 00:20:00,697
finally replace the asbestos
in the attic.
589
00:20:00,722 --> 00:20:02,511
Look, it'd be great to get new asbestos.
590
00:20:02,549 --> 00:20:05,606
But no, this is yours.
591
00:20:05,683 --> 00:20:08,359
- Spend it on something you really...
- Acapulco.
592
00:20:08,384 --> 00:20:09,960
Acapulco?
593
00:20:10,466 --> 00:20:11,733
The one in Mexico?
594
00:20:11,758 --> 00:20:13,154
Whichever one that show-off Helen
595
00:20:13,154 --> 00:20:14,879
and her stupid bald husband went to.
596
00:20:14,904 --> 00:20:16,786
She had a margarita, big deal.
597
00:20:16,818 --> 00:20:18,707
All right, we'll go to Acapulco.
598
00:20:18,746 --> 00:20:20,785
Oh, you're coming, too?
599
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,002
Yeah.
600
00:20:22,765 --> 00:20:26,091
I'm thinking about getting
one of those all-over tans.
601
00:20:26,116 --> 00:20:27,884
[Laughs] Yeah. I'm definitely doing that
602
00:20:27,885 --> 00:20:29,473
whether the beach we're on
allows it or not.
603
00:20:29,530 --> 00:20:31,620
♪♪
604
00:20:34,565 --> 00:20:36,181
A few weeks later when it was
Joey's birthday,
605
00:20:36,181 --> 00:20:38,043
his wish was that we all
go to the beach.
606
00:20:38,044 --> 00:20:39,470
JOEY: Whoo-hoo!
607
00:20:39,544 --> 00:20:41,333
My mom and dad were glad to accommodate
608
00:20:41,404 --> 00:20:43,193
since they were already
headed to the beach.
609
00:20:43,270 --> 00:20:45,193
In Acapulco.
610
00:20:46,146 --> 00:20:47,231
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
611
00:20:47,256 --> 00:20:49,833
But the rest of us were happy
to give Joey his birthday wish,
612
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:51,900
a family beach day.
613
00:20:51,931 --> 00:20:55,197
[Engine starts]
614
00:20:55,222 --> 00:20:56,462
That he didn't have to go to.
615
00:20:56,525 --> 00:20:58,111
Have fun! Take your time!
616
00:20:59,486 --> 00:21:03,361
- Girls...
- ♪ Going up to the spirit in the sky ♪
617
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:08,429
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
45953
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