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1
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Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:05,938 --> 00:00:09,874
Traveled down the road and back again
3
00:00:09,942 --> 00:00:11,341
Your heart is true
4
00:00:11,410 --> 00:00:16,871
You're a pal and a confidante
5
00:00:16,949 --> 00:00:19,747
And if you threw a party
6
00:00:19,818 --> 00:00:24,755
Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:24,823 --> 00:00:29,123
You would see
the biggest gift would be from me
8
00:00:29,194 --> 00:00:31,719
And the card attached would say
9
00:00:31,797 --> 00:00:35,733
"Thank you for being a friend"
10
00:00:57,789 --> 00:01:00,519
Wait a minute! Just where
do you think you're going?
11
00:01:00,592 --> 00:01:05,825
Over to Mildred's to watch the adult
movie channel. She has a wide-screen TV.
12
00:01:05,897 --> 00:01:09,458
You are not going anywhere.
Dr. Clayton is coming.
13
00:01:09,534 --> 00:01:13,197
- Dr. Silvano is my doctor!
- Dr. Silvano is dead.
14
00:01:13,272 --> 00:01:15,900
Trust me, I'm in better shape
than he is. Goodbye.
15
00:01:16,608 --> 00:01:20,339
Ma, you have to have an examination.
Your blood pressure is up,
16
00:01:20,412 --> 00:01:22,437
you're tired,
you have absolutely no color.
17
00:01:22,514 --> 00:01:25,881
I'm an old white woman.
I'm not supposed to have color.
18
00:01:25,951 --> 00:01:29,546
You want color?
Talk to Lena Horne.
19
00:01:29,621 --> 00:01:32,818
Here we are, Sophia.
Homemade chicken soup.
20
00:01:32,891 --> 00:01:35,655
I used to make it for my husband
when he wasn't feeling well.
21
00:01:35,727 --> 00:01:39,527
Did you make it for him the last time
he wasn't feeling well?
22
00:01:39,598 --> 00:01:41,293
- Hello, everyone.
- Hi, Blanche.
23
00:01:41,366 --> 00:01:44,096
I just happened upon
the most divine dress sale.
24
00:01:44,169 --> 00:01:47,263
I would'have called you girls,
but all they had left were petites.
25
00:01:49,474 --> 00:01:52,068
So what did you buy? Shoes?
26
00:01:54,246 --> 00:01:59,411
I'm a petite. I'd better go there. I need
a black dress for Dr. Silvano's funeral.
27
00:01:59,484 --> 00:02:02,317
Dr. Silvano died two months ago.
28
00:02:02,387 --> 00:02:04,378
You went to his funeral.
29
00:02:04,456 --> 00:02:07,721
Right, I can't let him see me
in the same dress.
30
00:02:07,793 --> 00:02:11,024
Ma, you're not going anywhere
until the doctor comes!
31
00:02:11,096 --> 00:02:15,965
You can't go anywhere now. I want you
to see how good I look in my new dress!
32
00:02:16,034 --> 00:02:20,130
You know something? We're really lucky
we found a doctor who makes house calls.
33
00:02:20,205 --> 00:02:23,265
I know. When I was
growing up in Minnesota,
34
00:02:23,342 --> 00:02:25,606
the doctor made house calls all the time...
35
00:02:25,677 --> 00:02:28,737
...for us and the livestock.
36
00:02:28,814 --> 00:02:31,681
You and the animals had the same doctor?
37
00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:34,014
Sure. Worked out fine...
38
00:02:34,086 --> 00:02:36,816
...until the doctor started
drinking hog liniment
39
00:02:36,888 --> 00:02:40,119
and tried to neuter
the Swensen brothers.
40
00:02:40,192 --> 00:02:42,626
(doorbell
41
00:02:42,694 --> 00:02:45,891
If that's the doctor, tell him
I have no insurance and no money!
42
00:02:45,964 --> 00:02:49,730
If he still wants to come in,
he just wants to see me naked.
43
00:02:51,803 --> 00:02:55,330
Hello, I'm Dr. Clayton.
I'm here to see Sophia Petrillo.
44
00:02:55,407 --> 00:02:57,739
Oh please, please come right in.
45
00:02:57,809 --> 00:03:02,473
I'm Dorothy, Sophia's daughter,
and I usually look much better.
46
00:03:02,547 --> 00:03:04,538
Now, this is my friend, Rose.
47
00:03:04,616 --> 00:03:06,083
- Hello, doctor.
- Rose.
48
00:03:06,151 --> 00:03:08,517
And this is Sophia.
49
00:03:08,587 --> 00:03:11,784
- What seems to be her problem?
- Her blood pressure is up
50
00:03:11,857 --> 00:03:13,848
and she's a little pale and a little tired.
51
00:03:13,925 --> 00:03:16,758
- She on any medication?
- Yes, to control blood pressure.
52
00:03:16,828 --> 00:03:20,491
- How long's she been on that medication?
- What am I, two years old?
53
00:03:20,565 --> 00:03:24,399
I don't know my own symptoms?
I've lived in this body since I was born.
54
00:03:24,469 --> 00:03:28,132
If something goes wrong,
I'm the first one to hear about it!
55
00:03:28,206 --> 00:03:31,073
I'm sorry, Sophia.
What seems to be the problem?
56
00:03:31,143 --> 00:03:33,771
What am I, a doctor?
57
00:03:33,845 --> 00:03:36,712
Why don't we start
by taking your temperature, huh?
58
00:03:36,782 --> 00:03:41,276
Temperature, hmm. He must have
graduated at the top of his class.
59
00:03:41,353 --> 00:03:44,720
- Under your tongue.
- Uh, tell me,
60
00:03:44,790 --> 00:03:48,749
- are you new to this area, Dr. Clayton?
- Yes. I recently moved here.
61
00:03:48,827 --> 00:03:52,763
Oh, Miami's a beautiful city.
I'm sure you'll enjoy living here.
62
00:03:52,831 --> 00:03:57,461
Yes, and I'm sure your wife,
Mrs. Clayton, will enjoy it, too.
63
00:03:57,536 --> 00:03:59,629
Mrs. Clayton and I
are no longer together.
64
00:03:59,704 --> 00:04:01,695
Oh, I'm so sorry.
65
00:04:04,276 --> 00:04:06,369
So, tell me, have you had a chance
66
00:04:06,445 --> 00:04:09,346
- to see much of the city?
- No, not really.
67
00:04:09,414 --> 00:04:12,815
Perhaps I could show you
some of the highlights sometime.
68
00:04:12,884 --> 00:04:15,182
That sounds great.
I'd love it!
69
00:04:15,253 --> 00:04:17,244
I'd love to go, too.
70
00:04:19,157 --> 00:04:21,455
Except I have to wash my hair...
71
00:04:21,526 --> 00:04:23,892
...every day...
72
00:04:24,796 --> 00:04:27,458
...for the rest of my life.
73
00:04:27,532 --> 00:04:30,433
It's very oily.
74
00:04:30,502 --> 00:04:33,665
What about dinner tomorrow night,
Dorothy? Say, about eight?
75
00:04:33,738 --> 00:04:37,071
Perfect! We'll go to Jack's Crab House.
It's wonderful.
76
00:04:37,142 --> 00:04:40,111
Well, girls, is this dress
gonna stop traffic or what?
77
00:04:41,613 --> 00:04:45,310
Oh, hello there.
78
00:04:45,383 --> 00:04:47,544
I don't believe we've been introduced.
79
00:04:47,619 --> 00:04:49,610
My name is Blanche Deveraux.
80
00:04:49,688 --> 00:04:54,557
That's French for... "Blanche Deveraux. "
81
00:04:56,027 --> 00:04:58,552
- I'm pleased to meet you.
- Forgive me for staring,
82
00:04:58,630 --> 00:05:02,396
but I do declare, you're just about the
most attractive man I've seen in Florida
83
00:05:02,467 --> 00:05:07,666
since Mr. John Forsythe performed Hamlet
at the Burt Reynolds Dinner Theatre.
84
00:05:07,739 --> 00:05:09,969
Blanche, might I see you a moment?
85
00:05:10,041 --> 00:05:12,202
Pardonnez-moi.
86
00:05:12,277 --> 00:05:14,768
Listen, you keep your bloomers on,
Scarlett.
87
00:05:14,846 --> 00:05:16,973
He's taking me out tomorrow night.
88
00:05:17,048 --> 00:05:19,778
But he wants me.
I can feel it.
89
00:05:19,851 --> 00:05:22,649
Let somebody else feel it.
90
00:05:24,456 --> 00:05:27,892
- I saw him first.
- But we were meant for each other.
91
00:05:27,959 --> 00:05:31,622
- I'm a woman, he's a man.
- And what am I, Little Richard?
92
00:05:34,032 --> 00:05:36,159
Oh, all right. Fair's fair.
93
00:05:36,234 --> 00:05:38,668
But if he has a friend
who makes house calls,
94
00:05:38,737 --> 00:05:42,229
I can be ill any night
this week except Thursday.
95
00:05:42,941 --> 00:05:46,741
- Well, doctor, how is she?
- Her temperature seems to be normal.
96
00:05:46,811 --> 00:05:50,110
Tell me, Sophia, are you taking
your medication as directed?
97
00:05:50,181 --> 00:05:53,275
I take my medication
every day, if I remember.
98
00:05:53,351 --> 00:05:55,546
You have to remember
to take it every day.
99
00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:58,487
Oh, I'll see that she does, Dr. Clayton.
100
00:05:58,557 --> 00:06:02,721
Elliot. Well, ladies, it's been
a great pleasure meeting you.
101
00:06:02,794 --> 00:06:07,197
Dorothy, it's been
especially nice meeting you.
102
00:06:07,265 --> 00:06:09,733
I'm sure she's all right,
but you call me if you need me,
103
00:06:09,801 --> 00:06:12,167
and I'll see you tomorrow night.
104
00:06:12,237 --> 00:06:16,731
- Goodbye, Elliot.
- Goodbye, Dorothy.
105
00:06:18,343 --> 00:06:22,245
Oh, thank you for being
a kind and generous god.
106
00:06:28,987 --> 00:06:31,478
OK, what do you think of this one?
107
00:06:31,556 --> 00:06:35,117
Dorothy, you and Elliot have been
out almost every night this week.
108
00:06:35,193 --> 00:06:38,185
He's obviously hooked.
You don't have to look good anymore.
109
00:06:38,263 --> 00:06:40,288
What you have on is fine.
110
00:06:45,537 --> 00:06:48,631
- I'll change.
- Come on. I'll help you pick out something.
111
00:06:48,707 --> 00:06:53,303
There's nothing left to pick. The only
thing I haven't tried on is the bedspread.
112
00:06:53,378 --> 00:06:55,369
(doorbell
113
00:07:00,085 --> 00:07:03,521
- Oh, hello, Elliot. Come in.
- Hello, Blanche. Dorothy ready?
114
00:07:03,588 --> 00:07:06,989
I'm afraid she's gonna be a little while.
May I offer you a drink?
115
00:07:07,058 --> 00:07:09,049
Why, sure, if you'll join me.
116
00:07:09,127 --> 00:07:12,119
I don't mind if I do.
What would you like?
117
00:07:12,197 --> 00:07:15,257
Something smooth and sweet
with a little kick to it.
118
00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:17,858
Hmm. How about a Sloe Gin Fizz?
119
00:07:17,936 --> 00:07:21,372
You're talking about the drink
and I'm talking about the bartender.
120
00:07:23,241 --> 00:07:25,232
- Oh.
- Blanche, you feel all right?
121
00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:26,971
- You feel a little flushed.
- I do?
122
00:07:27,045 --> 00:07:30,037
Yeah, let me check your pulse.
123
00:07:30,115 --> 00:07:33,846
Ooh, it's racing.
You know what? So is mine.
124
00:07:33,918 --> 00:07:35,818
I beg your pardon?
125
00:07:35,887 --> 00:07:39,721
- You're a very attractive woman, Blanche.
- I know.
126
00:07:39,791 --> 00:07:44,023
Very... very attractive.
127
00:07:44,095 --> 00:07:46,188
Wait a minute.
What are you doing? How dare you?
128
00:07:46,264 --> 00:07:48,630
- What kind of woman do you think I am?
- Relax.
129
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:51,328
Relax? Don't you tell me to relax!
130
00:07:54,205 --> 00:07:56,765
I am not accustomed to being manhandled.
131
00:07:56,841 --> 00:07:59,241
- I thought you'd be flattered.
- Well, I'm not.
132
00:07:59,310 --> 00:08:04,304
Pardon my strong language,
but you, sir, are no gentleman.
133
00:08:04,382 --> 00:08:06,907
- I'm sorry.
- You ought to be. What about Dorothy?
134
00:08:06,985 --> 00:08:10,250
- She happens to be my friend.
- No reason to bring Dorothy into this.
135
00:08:10,321 --> 00:08:11,948
- Hmm.
- Hi, Elliot.
136
00:08:12,023 --> 00:08:14,617
Hello, Rose.
137
00:08:14,693 --> 00:08:17,355
My, what is that marvelous
scent you're wearing?
138
00:08:17,429 --> 00:08:20,557
Fancy albacore tuna.
139
00:08:22,434 --> 00:08:24,459
I made a casserole for dinner.
140
00:08:24,536 --> 00:08:27,130
Well, you certainly wear it well.
141
00:08:27,205 --> 00:08:30,436
I think it's the pimento
that really sets it off.
142
00:08:31,509 --> 00:08:35,240
- Hello, Elliot. I'm sorry I'm late.
- It's all right, but we should be going.
143
00:08:35,313 --> 00:08:39,647
If I'm not back by Christmas, someone
take my mother to midnight mass.
144
00:08:42,854 --> 00:08:46,255
There is something
about that man I don't trust.
145
00:08:46,324 --> 00:08:48,315
I can't put my finger on it.
146
00:08:48,393 --> 00:08:51,419
I can.
He's a letch.
147
00:08:52,297 --> 00:08:54,788
No, that isn't it.
148
00:08:56,101 --> 00:08:58,865
Oh, yes it is, Rose.
He made a pass at me.
149
00:09:00,305 --> 00:09:02,796
Oh, my Lord!
150
00:09:02,874 --> 00:09:05,809
That's terrible! Dorothy'll
be heartbroken when you tell her.
151
00:09:05,877 --> 00:09:08,744
- I'm not telling her anything.
- She's your friend.
152
00:09:08,813 --> 00:09:10,906
- You've got to tell her!
- Oh, no, I don't.
153
00:09:10,982 --> 00:09:15,043
The last time a friend's sweetheart made
a pass at me, I lost my friend and her beau.
154
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:19,113
- And her beau?
- That's right. Anderbeau Johnson.
155
00:09:19,190 --> 00:09:21,556
Clyde Whitehead, Anderbeau's beau,
156
00:09:21,626 --> 00:09:25,357
decided he wanted to see my
cheerleader's sweater from the inside.
157
00:09:25,430 --> 00:09:28,297
So when I told Anderbeau,
she blamed the whole thing on me,
158
00:09:28,366 --> 00:09:30,960
and then Clyde would never
speak to me again for telling!
159
00:09:31,035 --> 00:09:34,129
I lost Anderbeau and her beau!
160
00:09:34,205 --> 00:09:36,332
Now you understand
why I can't tell Dorothy?
161
00:09:36,407 --> 00:09:39,843
I don't even understand
who Anderbobo is.
162
00:09:42,313 --> 00:09:45,282
All I know is that
Dorothy should find out
163
00:09:45,350 --> 00:09:50,049
what kind of a man Elliot really is.
Now, if you're her friend, you'll tell her.
164
00:09:50,121 --> 00:09:53,682
But honey, she'd be devastated! What
kind of a friend would I be to hurt her?
165
00:09:53,758 --> 00:09:56,818
What kind of a friend would you be
if you let Elliot ruin her life?
166
00:09:56,895 --> 00:09:59,056
She could marry that man!
167
00:09:59,130 --> 00:10:01,394
They could have a child!
168
00:10:02,967 --> 00:10:06,403
They could adopt a child!
169
00:10:06,471 --> 00:10:08,905
And then one night at the country club,
170
00:10:08,973 --> 00:10:13,672
possibly during little
Mei-Ling's coming-out party...
171
00:10:16,681 --> 00:10:20,378
...Dorothy's having the time of her life
when she goes to the powder room
172
00:10:20,451 --> 00:10:23,682
and she overhears
the towel lady telling Mrs. Steinbeck
173
00:10:23,755 --> 00:10:26,918
that Dorothy's husband,
Dr. Elliot Clayton,
174
00:10:26,991 --> 00:10:30,256
has bonged every female member
of the country club.
175
00:10:31,095 --> 00:10:33,154
Can you let that happen to Dorothy?
176
00:10:33,231 --> 00:10:35,392
Can you let that happen
to little Mei-Ling?
177
00:10:35,466 --> 00:10:37,457
Hasn't she suffered enough?
178
00:10:40,171 --> 00:10:42,332
Not as much as I have
listening to that story.
179
00:10:42,407 --> 00:10:46,503
Oh... forget the story.
180
00:10:46,578 --> 00:10:49,012
You have to tell Dorothy.
She's your friend!
181
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,207
You're right.
She is my best friend.
182
00:10:51,282 --> 00:10:55,048
- I thought I was your best friend.
- You were till you told me that story.
183
00:10:59,791 --> 00:11:01,782
- Thank you.
- Good night, Dorothy.
184
00:11:01,860 --> 00:11:04,693
Good night, Elliot.
185
00:11:04,762 --> 00:11:08,698
Oh, Dorothy. I thought you'd never
come home. I have to talk to you.
186
00:11:08,766 --> 00:11:11,291
- Is something wrong? Is it Ma?
- Oh, no, she's fine.
187
00:11:11,369 --> 00:11:14,497
It's just that you're out so late
on a school night.
188
00:11:16,774 --> 00:11:20,870
- What?
- I mean, how was your date with Elliot?
189
00:11:20,945 --> 00:11:24,278
Wonderful, as usual.
190
00:11:24,349 --> 00:11:27,375
Dorothy, I have to tell you something.
191
00:11:27,452 --> 00:11:30,182
It's just so hard.
I don't know how to tell you,
192
00:11:30,255 --> 00:11:32,951
except, I guess, just straight out.
193
00:11:33,024 --> 00:11:35,117
What?
194
00:11:35,193 --> 00:11:37,855
Well...
195
00:11:39,964 --> 00:11:41,955
...Elliot made...
196
00:11:43,101 --> 00:11:45,092
...Elliot made...
197
00:11:46,838 --> 00:11:48,829
What?
198
00:11:48,907 --> 00:11:50,898
Elliot made a...
199
00:11:50,975 --> 00:11:54,138
What? What did Elliot make,
a ship in a bottle? What?
200
00:11:56,180 --> 00:11:59,343
Elliot made a pass at me.
201
00:11:59,417 --> 00:12:02,250
Elliot made a pass at you?
202
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:06,484
You mean, he winked at you. He winks
at everyone. He's a very big winker.
203
00:12:06,557 --> 00:12:09,526
No. It was more than a wink.
204
00:12:09,594 --> 00:12:13,690
He came up to me,
and he put his big, masculine arms
205
00:12:13,765 --> 00:12:17,758
around my tiny little waist.
206
00:12:17,835 --> 00:12:20,804
- I don't believe you.
- What?
207
00:12:20,872 --> 00:12:24,171
I don't believe that he put
his big, masculine arms
208
00:12:24,242 --> 00:12:27,837
around your alleged tiny little waist.
209
00:12:27,912 --> 00:12:29,675
Why would I make up such a thing?
210
00:12:29,747 --> 00:12:31,715
- Because you're jealous.
- Jealous?
211
00:12:31,783 --> 00:12:35,048
You're used to getting all the attention,
and someone comes along
212
00:12:35,119 --> 00:12:38,111
and wants me and not you
and it is eating your guts out.
213
00:12:38,189 --> 00:12:40,919
- Eating my guts out?
- You know something?
214
00:12:40,992 --> 00:12:44,587
You could never be a real friend
to another woman, and you know why?
215
00:12:44,662 --> 00:12:46,220
- Why?
- Because you're a slut!
216
00:12:46,297 --> 00:12:49,460
- A slut?!
- Don't repeat everything I say.
217
00:12:49,534 --> 00:12:51,900
Don't repeat everything you say? I'm not!
218
00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:54,939
- You just did.
- Nothing you say's worth repeatin'.
219
00:12:55,006 --> 00:12:57,566
You, Blanche, are an amoral,
220
00:12:57,642 --> 00:13:02,807
backstabbing, self-centered Jezebel,
and I am very glad that this happened
221
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,713
because now I know really
what kind of person you are.
222
00:13:05,783 --> 00:13:08,946
The hell with you and your oversexed
boyfriend, Dorothy Zbornak!
223
00:13:09,020 --> 00:13:13,116
I'm just glad that little Mei-Ling's
coming-out party was ruined.
224
00:13:19,097 --> 00:13:20,291
Who?
225
00:13:20,365 --> 00:13:24,495
And I'm glad that Elliot is bonging
every woman at your country club!
226
00:13:26,237 --> 00:13:28,467
What the hell are you talking about?
227
00:13:28,539 --> 00:13:30,473
Ask the towel lady!
228
00:13:45,656 --> 00:13:49,353
Morning, Blanche.
Can I get you some coffee?
229
00:13:49,961 --> 00:13:53,021
"Dorothy deserves to know
what kind of a person Elliot really is.
230
00:13:53,097 --> 00:13:56,658
If you're her friend, you'll tell her. "
Thanks for the advice, Rose.
231
00:13:56,734 --> 00:14:00,329
Now Dorothy's not speaking to me,
and I'm not speaking to you.
232
00:14:00,405 --> 00:14:03,431
Now you can get me that coffee.
233
00:14:03,508 --> 00:14:05,669
I know it doesn't
feel like it right now,
234
00:14:05,743 --> 00:14:08,576
but you did the right thing
by telling Dorothy about Elliot.
235
00:14:08,646 --> 00:14:11,376
- What about Elliot?
- He made a pass at me.
236
00:14:11,449 --> 00:14:14,247
- While he's seeing my Dorothy?
- Yes.
237
00:14:14,318 --> 00:14:18,311
I can't believe it!
My daughter is finally dating a doctor...
238
00:14:18,389 --> 00:14:21,381
he turns out to be a scuzz bucket!
239
00:14:22,493 --> 00:14:25,860
Why does everything happen to me?
240
00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:29,161
- Dorothy hates me.
- Oh, Blanche, that's not true!
241
00:14:29,233 --> 00:14:31,997
Oh, yes it is, and I hate her
right back double.
242
00:14:32,904 --> 00:14:35,031
Now get me some cream.
243
00:14:38,109 --> 00:14:40,976
Morning, Dorothy. Blanche and I
were just having some coffee.
244
00:14:41,045 --> 00:14:43,240
- Would you care to join us?
- Frankly, Rose,
245
00:14:43,314 --> 00:14:46,112
I would rather use
Willie Nelson's hairbrush.
246
00:14:48,586 --> 00:14:50,816
Must you attack everything Southern?
247
00:14:52,256 --> 00:14:55,851
Come on, now, girls.
This is no way to behave.
248
00:14:55,927 --> 00:14:59,454
Isn't there some way we can
settle this like rational adults?
249
00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:02,294
We can, once Dorothy
stops acting like a child.
250
00:15:02,366 --> 00:15:04,926
I am acting like a child?
Do you know what your problem is?
251
00:15:05,002 --> 00:15:07,095
- (doorbell
- That's Elliot. I have to leave.
252
00:15:07,171 --> 00:15:10,834
How dare you leave in the middle
of a fight? You come back here!
253
00:15:10,908 --> 00:15:13,342
I have a few things
I want to say to you, missy!
254
00:15:13,411 --> 00:15:16,972
All right, girls, now hold it right there,
and I'm not fooling around!
255
00:15:19,717 --> 00:15:23,312
Dorothy, I think you have to confront
Elliot with Blanche's accusation.
256
00:15:23,387 --> 00:15:26,322
Absolutely not!
Now, I have to go.
257
00:15:28,259 --> 00:15:30,887
Morning, Dorothy.
Ready to go?
258
00:15:30,962 --> 00:15:33,795
Not quite.
259
00:15:33,865 --> 00:15:37,892
Elliot, Blanche says
that you made a pass at her.
260
00:15:37,969 --> 00:15:40,028
- What?
- You heard her.
261
00:15:41,139 --> 00:15:44,870
- I don't know what to say.
- You sure knew what to say last night
262
00:15:44,942 --> 00:15:47,604
Elliot, did you make a pass
at Blanche or not?
263
00:15:47,678 --> 00:15:50,203
- Absolutely not.
- He's lying.
264
00:15:50,281 --> 00:15:52,272
Look at him, he's twitching...
265
00:15:53,618 --> 00:15:57,987
...and blinking. He's lying
and twitching and blinking.
266
00:15:58,055 --> 00:16:00,546
He is blinking, Dorothy.
267
00:16:02,193 --> 00:16:05,356
Maybe I had better wait for you
in the car.
268
00:16:05,429 --> 00:16:08,057
Dorothy, you just have to believe me.
269
00:16:08,132 --> 00:16:12,865
It's not enough that you have had
half the men in Dade County.
270
00:16:12,937 --> 00:16:16,395
You have to have everyone
else's men. It is pathetic.
271
00:16:16,474 --> 00:16:19,932
I have just never felt
so betrayed in all my life.
272
00:16:20,011 --> 00:16:22,309
I haven't been a good friend
to a lot of people,
273
00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:24,541
but I have been a very good
friend to you, Dorothy.
274
00:16:24,615 --> 00:16:27,778
And you take some
stranger's word over mine?
275
00:16:27,852 --> 00:16:31,185
I'm not gonna stand for this, not in
my own house. I want you out of here.
276
00:16:31,255 --> 00:16:33,655
Blanche, you don't mean that.
She doesn't mean it.
277
00:16:33,724 --> 00:16:38,354
- I do so mean it.
- I'll be out as soon as I can find a place.
278
00:16:40,398 --> 00:16:43,526
Blanche, you can't just
throw Dorothy out on the street!
279
00:16:43,601 --> 00:16:46,695
You just watch me.
280
00:16:58,449 --> 00:17:01,145
What's the matter, Sophia?
You couldn't sleep, either?
281
00:17:01,219 --> 00:17:05,553
No, I was sleeping great, Rose.
I just wanted to show off my pajamas.
282
00:17:12,964 --> 00:17:15,728
I'm upset about Dorothy and Blanche.
283
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,893
Oh, me, too.
284
00:17:17,969 --> 00:17:21,370
Who'd believe that they'd
break up their friendship over a man?
285
00:17:21,439 --> 00:17:24,533
- It happens.
- What can we do?
286
00:17:24,609 --> 00:17:28,136
- Nothing. Just stay out of it.
- I can't do that.
287
00:17:28,212 --> 00:17:31,181
Let me tell you a story.
288
00:17:31,249 --> 00:17:34,878
Sicily, 1912. Picture this:
289
00:17:34,952 --> 00:17:39,082
Two young girls,
best friends, who shared three things...
290
00:17:39,156 --> 00:17:42,922
a pizza recipe, some dough,
and a dream.
291
00:17:42,994 --> 00:17:45,428
Everything is going great until one day,
292
00:17:45,496 --> 00:17:50,195
a fast-talking pepperoni salesman
gallops into town.
293
00:17:50,268 --> 00:17:52,259
Of course, both girls are impressed.
294
00:17:52,336 --> 00:17:55,965
He dates one one night,
the other, the next night.
295
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:59,635
Pretty soon, he drives
a wedge between them.
296
00:18:00,611 --> 00:18:02,943
Before you know it, the pizza suffers,
297
00:18:03,014 --> 00:18:05,574
the business suffers,
the friendship suffers.
298
00:18:05,650 --> 00:18:08,483
The girls part company
and head for America,
299
00:18:08,552 --> 00:18:11,715
never to see one another again.
300
00:18:11,789 --> 00:18:15,691
Rose, one of those girls was me.
301
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:19,753
The other one you probably know
as Mama Celeste.
302
00:18:31,509 --> 00:18:33,943
Sophia, what's the point?
303
00:18:34,011 --> 00:18:37,674
The point is, I lost a fortune!
304
00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:42,849
What does that have to do with getting
Dorothy and Blanche back together?
305
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,013
Nothing! I told you, stay out of it!
306
00:18:45,089 --> 00:18:49,321
I can't! I can't just stand by
and watch this happen.
307
00:18:49,393 --> 00:18:51,452
I've got to do something.
308
00:18:51,529 --> 00:18:53,520
That might work, too.
309
00:19:00,271 --> 00:19:03,434
Abbondanzal
310
00:19:10,948 --> 00:19:14,111
Rose, honey, can I borrow your
golf gloves? I already packed mine.
311
00:19:14,185 --> 00:19:18,884
- Only if you promise not to move out.
- I cannot promise that!
312
00:19:18,956 --> 00:19:21,584
Then putt with bare hands!
313
00:19:21,659 --> 00:19:23,650
(doorbell
314
00:19:26,230 --> 00:19:30,189
- Hi. Ready to go?
- Soon as Rose lends me some gloves.
315
00:19:30,267 --> 00:19:33,930
They're in the bottom drawer
on the left, under my clarinet.
316
00:19:35,439 --> 00:19:37,430
Be right back.
317
00:19:51,822 --> 00:19:56,384
Has anyone ever told you
you look exactly like Jerry Vale?
318
00:19:57,528 --> 00:20:00,929
- No.
- They should.
319
00:20:00,998 --> 00:20:05,662
He's the only man in the world that can
make the hair on my arms stand up.
320
00:20:07,905 --> 00:20:10,669
Can I fix you a drink?
321
00:20:10,741 --> 00:20:14,472
No, thanks. Is something
wrong with your leg?
322
00:20:14,545 --> 00:20:18,481
Nothing you can't fix, doctor man.
323
00:20:18,549 --> 00:20:21,609
- I beg your pardon?
- I know I look square,
324
00:20:21,685 --> 00:20:24,552
but I'm like my father's tractor.
325
00:20:24,622 --> 00:20:27,090
I take awhile to warm up,
but once I get going,
326
00:20:27,158 --> 00:20:31,652
I can turn your topsoil
'til the cows come home.
327
00:20:33,531 --> 00:20:34,862
Rose, please.
328
00:20:34,932 --> 00:20:38,129
Wanna see some Polaroids
of me in my tennis skirt?
329
00:20:38,202 --> 00:20:41,228
Look, Rose, I'm flattered, and please,
330
00:20:41,305 --> 00:20:43,671
no offense, but you're just not my type.
331
00:20:43,741 --> 00:20:46,835
- But Blanche was.
- That never happened.
332
00:20:46,911 --> 00:20:48,970
Oh, yes it did.
Blanche told me all about it.
333
00:20:49,046 --> 00:20:51,640
- She made it up.
- I don't think so.
334
00:20:51,715 --> 00:20:55,742
Look, nothing came of it.
I did apologize to her.
335
00:20:55,820 --> 00:20:58,687
- And you lied to me.
- Dorothy!
336
00:20:58,756 --> 00:21:00,917
You lied to me about Blanche!
337
00:21:00,991 --> 00:21:05,052
Dorothy, sweetheart, please try
to understand. It was no big deal.
338
00:21:05,129 --> 00:21:09,225
Oh, you think so? I probably lost
one of my best friends because of you.
339
00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:11,234
To me, that's a very big deal.
340
00:21:11,302 --> 00:21:16,069
- I take it we're not playing golf.
- We're not playing anything anymore.
341
00:21:17,441 --> 00:21:20,501
I'll call you in a few days
when you've cooled down.
342
00:21:20,578 --> 00:21:23,206
Don't bother. I really have
nothing to say to you.
343
00:21:28,719 --> 00:21:31,347
- I'm so sorry, Dorothy.
- No, I'm the one who's sorry.
344
00:21:31,422 --> 00:21:37,019
I have to go talk to Blanche. I've
been an idiot through this whole thing!
345
00:21:37,094 --> 00:21:39,824
Darn right you have!
346
00:21:47,071 --> 00:21:49,232
- (knock on door
- Come in.
347
00:21:51,242 --> 00:21:52,869
Oh, it's you.
348
00:21:56,814 --> 00:21:58,805
Look, Blanche, we have to talk.
349
00:21:58,883 --> 00:22:01,010
I don't have anything to say to you,
Dorothy.
350
00:22:01,085 --> 00:22:03,349
Then let me do the talking.
351
00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:07,049
Elliot was just here and he told me
the truth about what happened.
352
00:22:08,559 --> 00:22:11,687
Well, I hate to say "I told you so,"
but I did. I told you so!
353
00:22:14,431 --> 00:22:18,561
Honey, I'm sorry for not believing you.
354
00:22:18,636 --> 00:22:22,003
- There's no excuse for my behavior.
- There most certainly isn't.
355
00:22:22,072 --> 00:22:26,236
I guess when it came down to it, I didn't
believe you because I didn't want to.
356
00:22:26,310 --> 00:22:28,938
Nobody ever believes me
when I'm telling the truth.
357
00:22:29,013 --> 00:22:32,141
I guess it's the curse of being
a devastatingly beautiful woman.
358
00:22:32,216 --> 00:22:34,207
Oh, please!
359
00:22:36,787 --> 00:22:41,383
The only other woman who could possibly
understand is Priscilla Presley...
360
00:22:43,561 --> 00:22:47,463
...and Susan Anton.
No, not Susan Anton.
361
00:22:47,531 --> 00:22:50,227
Even my husband didn't
believe me on our wedding night
362
00:22:50,301 --> 00:22:53,600
- when I told him he was the first.
- But George wasn't your first.
363
00:22:54,838 --> 00:22:58,035
Well, he didn't know that!
364
00:22:58,108 --> 00:23:00,872
The point is, he didn't believe me.
365
00:23:00,945 --> 00:23:04,779
Look, Blanche...
Blanche, I'm sorry.
366
00:23:04,848 --> 00:23:07,112
Do you think you can ever forgive me?
367
00:23:07,184 --> 00:23:09,345
I don't know.
I have to think about it.
368
00:23:10,854 --> 00:23:12,845
I understand.
369
00:23:14,425 --> 00:23:17,485
OK, I've thought about it.
I forgive you!
370
00:23:17,561 --> 00:23:19,893
Oh, Blanche, Blanche, thank you!
371
00:23:19,964 --> 00:23:24,196
Oh, what the heck!
That's what friendship's all about.
372
00:23:24,735 --> 00:23:28,728
Oh, Blanche, Dorothy!
Oh, I'm so glad you made up.
373
00:23:28,806 --> 00:23:32,207
- I knew you couldn't stay mad for long.
- Of course we couldn't.
374
00:23:32,276 --> 00:23:37,009
Oh, it takes a big woman to forgive
somebody calling her a slut!
375
00:23:39,617 --> 00:23:42,108
You!
376
00:23:43,053 --> 00:23:44,987
Fight over? Good.
377
00:23:45,055 --> 00:23:48,650
Here, taste these.
I'm conducting a pizza challenge.
378
00:23:48,726 --> 00:23:52,093
One of these is mine,
one is Mama you-know-who's.
379
00:23:52,162 --> 00:23:54,187
Taste them and tell me
which you like better.
380
00:23:54,264 --> 00:23:57,324
If I'm right, this could be worth millions.
381
00:23:57,401 --> 00:23:59,631
My face could be
in every freezer in America.
382
00:23:59,703 --> 00:24:02,297
Mmm. A, definitely.
383
00:24:02,373 --> 00:24:05,433
- Mmm. Yep, A.
- Yeah, A. A, without a doubt.
384
00:24:06,410 --> 00:24:10,676
You can't pick men
and you can't pick pizza!
32287
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