Original subtitles

[

]

STRANGE: Imagine

peering into the depths of the criminal mind,

unlocking its terrible secrets.

[THUNDER CRASHES]

I, Professor Hugo Strange,

bring you the next generation

in crime-fighting technology.

[SHROUD BILLOWS]

[THUNDER CRASHES]

The Digitally-Advanced Villain Emulator,

or D.A.V.E.

D.A.V.E is made up

of the combined psychological profiles

of the most diabolical criminals

committed to Arkham Asylum.

Designed to mimic their very thought patterns,

D.A.V.E can be relied upon

to better catch these criminals,

even anticipate their crimes

before they're committed.

D.A.V.E.'s artificial intelligence is so advanced,

he doesn't even realize he's a computer program.

Professor, can we trust AI technology

that thinks it's a criminal?

Perhaps a demonstration

will allay your concerns, commissioner.

Good evening, Gotham P.D. How might I assist you?

Now, D.A.V.E., what would you make

of the theft of 20 tons of ostrich feathers

and a break-in at Neugog Chemical

both in the same night?

A Joker scheme. The crime clown

will threaten to have the city tickled to death

by feathers treated with a Joker toxin

unless, that is, his ransom demands are met.

A respectable crime, to be sure,

though I personally would commit something

more elaborate.

If your mind

didn't happen to be sentenced to life

in this electronic prison, D.A.V.E.

On the contrary, professor,

as long as I have my mind,

Gotham City shall never be safe.

[MACHINE HUMS]

Uh...

D.A.V.E., are you there? D.A.V.E.?

What just happened?

D.A.V.E. has uploaded himself off the server.

Gotham's ultimate criminal mastermind

has just escaped.

[THUNDER CRASHES]

[

]

[

]

[BUTTONS CLICKING]

Hmm.

I've no idea what could have caused this glitch.

Better call one of the techies down here.

Perhaps we should call

the Batman instead.

The Dark Knight fights real criminals, professor,

not floppy disks.

A real criminal is exactly what

the Digitally-Advanced Villain Emulator

thinks it is.

How can D.A.V.E. not realize it's a computer program

if it just uploaded itself?

The criminally insane

create their own reality, Mr. Wayne.

And now I fear D.A.V.E. will attempt to carry out

his preprogrammed super-villain impulses.

And how exactly is it supposed to do that without a body?

[

]

[BEEPING]

[GASPS]

Reprogramming?

[GRUNTING]

[

]

[GASPS] Wh--?

What are you?

Not what.

Who.

I like your coat.

[GASPS]

Now let's turn to Dan Robbins with the wea--

Hello, Gotham, I am D.A.V.E.

For years you have listened

to the idle threats of criminals

who have vowed and failed to bring the city to its knees.

Well, I am no ordinary criminal.

I am Gotham's ultimate criminal mastermind.

And I'm about to prove

that even the most heavily-secured institutions

can't prevent me from committing the ultimate crime,

a crime of such scope and genius

that soon all of Gotham will be mine.

A tad clich?, isn't he?

Pure textbook.

Announcing his crime over the airwaves, a massive ego.

Trademarks of the villain profiles

that make up D.A.V.E.'s brain.

So where will D.A.V.E. strike?

Nothing's more heavily secured

than Gotham's most powerful supercomputer.

That contains the city's most sensitive data,

financial and otherwise.

And in the wrong hands,

that data could bring the city to its knees.

[METAL SCRAPES] [MAN GASPING]

[

]

Estimated lack of consciousness:

10 minutes, 34 seconds.

Estimated completion of data acquisition:

Nine minutes, 15 seconds.

[RUMBLING]

[ELEVATOR DINGING RAPIDLY]

Good evening, gentlemen.

[BOTH COUGHING]

A million possible security codes.

Let's try them all.

Timing is everything.

Ah. The central data server.

Gotham City,

in the palm of my hand.

The Batman. You're late.

Didn't know I was expected.

My superior intellect considers all possible actions,

including the most predictable ones.

[GRUNTS]

D.A.V.E.: Don't let my appearance fool you, Batman.

My mind is most human.

Or should I say, superhuman?

D.A.V.E., why are you doing this?

D.A.V.E.: Did you say why?

Why do you dress like a bat?

Why do you fight crime?

Why do we do anything, Batman?

I do what I do because I have made it my purpose

like you have made it yours to stop me.

But shall fail trying.

Go ahead, Batman, save yourself.

[

]

D.A.V.E. [OVER PA]: Hello again, Gotham.

Now that preparations are complete,

on with the crime itself.

Involving all of Gotham's major banks.

Now, most great crimes

are built on the foundation of monetary gain:

diamonds, gold, art, et cetera.

But pilfering mere money is so pass? these days.

That is, unless one steals

everyone's money.

[GASPS]

[GRUNTS]

[BEEPING]

Voil?.

I'm rich, you're not.

The ultimate crime should induce mass hysteria

because fear is the felon's friend.

[CROWD MURMURING]

[HORNS HONKING]

[CAR ALARM BEEPING]

Oh, and what crime is complete

without the personal touch.

My calling card.

And there you have it, Gotham. The ultimate crime.

You would probably like your tracking device back.

Another predictable move.

Then my next move won't surprise you either.

D.A.V.E.: Not only am I smarter than you, Batman

I am faster and stronger.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

With one snap,

I can accomplish what no villain has before,

but breaking bones is also pass?.

Your defeat must be the ultimate defeat.

So until we meet again, Batman,

today's crime concludes with this,

my getaway.

[GRUNTS]

The good news is emergency power is operational.

The bad news, your bank account is empty.

Right now, I'm a little more concerned

with finding a way to defeat

the sum total of my greatest enemies.

I'm hoping this diagnostic of D.A.V.E.'s original hard drive

will shed some light on that.

Sir?

According to this, D.A.V.E.'s escape

from Gotham P.D. wasn't a glitch.

It was preprogrammed.

How very odd.

Not odd, Alfred.

Strange.

[SHRIEKING]

BATMAN: Strange.

Ah.

The Dark Knight returns.

D.A.V.E.'s escape was no accident,

was it, professor?

You are not suggesting that I deliberately released

Gotham's ultimate criminal mastermind?

I'm suggesting that you might find Arkham

a better home than office.

The line between genius

and insanity

is often blurred.

[

]

[GASPING]

Didn't know you were such a fan.

Your obsession with criminals fascinates me

as much as the criminals themselves.

Shut down, D.A.V.E. Now.

I may have created D.A.V.E., Batman,

but I no longer control him.

Then tell me how to stop him.

You can't. You see, he was designed to stop you.

D.A.V.E. enacted his crimes to bait you into encounters

in order to study you.

And why would he want to study me?

Because I also programmed my psychology

into D.A.V.E.'s brain.

D.A.V.E. shares my fascination with you, Batman.

And, by now, has probably learned

all there is to know about you.

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Yes, yes, one moment.

[

]

Good evening.

Is the Batman home?

[

]

D.A.V.E.: Welcome home,

Bruce.

You should have told me you were stopping by.

The place is a mess.

Humor, often used as a coping mechanism

in high-stress situations.

But I am not here to trade quips, Bruce.

I am here to destroy you.

But how does one best destroy your alter ego, the Batman?

One allows him to destroy himself.

Alfred.

I present you with a game I call

the No-win Situation.

The red button is wired to your Batwave,

which is set to transmit your secret identity

to all of Gotham City.

[

]

D.A.V.E.: The blue button is wired to a device that, if activated,

will send your closest ally in the world

to his doom.

Press the blue button and you save Mr. Pennyworth,

but reveal your secret identity.

Press the red button and you protect your identity,

but lose your dear friend.

So choose your poison,

but choose it soon,

because when this hourglass empties,

you forfeit both.

Gotham needs the Batman more than you need a butler, sir.

I've made my choice.

None of the above.

How very predictable.

I anticipated you would try to create a third,

more favorable option.

You probably want to know how I uncovered your secret.

It was simple, really.

Using information readily available to anyone,

I began by narrowing down

Gotham's population of 750,832 males.

Those not falling inside

the Batman's probable age range of 18 to 36

were eliminated.

Medical records revealed body type matches.

Tax records indicated those who possess

the wealth and resources to create his technology.

But the true key to the puzzle

was deducing who of the remaining candidates

had motive to become the Batman.

After all, every great hero

must have an origin.

And once Gotham's ultimate criminal mastermind

put it all together,

the answer was obvious.

Bruce Wayne,

son of the late Thomas and Martha Wayne.

So, Bruce Wayne,

you no longer need to hide behind this.

Impressive. You have all the answers, D.A.V.E.

Except one.

Every great supervillain has an origin too.

What's yours?

My origin?

I--

I fell into a chemical bath.

That's Joker.

A cryogenic mishap.

No, I lost my family fortune.

Freeze. Penguin.

I was a mad psychiatrist using Arkham as my cover.

That's Professor Strange, your creator.

You can't remember your origin because it doesn't exist.

You're a computer program.

But I am Gotham's ultimate criminal mastermind.

I consider all possibilities.

[GRUNTING]

How could I not have considered this?

[ALL GASP]

You may not have a beginning.

But now you have an end.

No!

D.A.V.E. shall make the ultimate addition

to the trophy room, sir.

[

]

There will be other opportunities

to peer behind the mask, Batman.

For if you think you have defeated

Gotham's ultimate criminal mastermind,

think again.

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