Original subtitles

[

]

BATGIRL: So someone snatched an endangered black leopard.

[RUSTLING IN BUSHES]

Since I bet that cat's worth some serious scratch.

I'd say that narrows our list of suspects

considerably to, oh, let me count, one.

This wasn't Catwoman.

Really, this totally purrs Catwoman.

Just because she's a cat burglar,

doesn't mean she's a cat thief.

Look at the number of footprints.

This wasn't a solo job.

Hey, you ought to consider

doing this for a living.

I also doubt it's a coincidence

that the only other leopard of its kind in captivity,

arrives in Gotham tomorrow,

as part of Amazing Leslie's Animal Extravaganza.

[WINDOW OPENS]

[

]

[PURRS]

So...

when do I get to say, told you so?

[

]

[

]

[SOFT CLANKING]

[ROAR]

It's okay, pretty kitty, tut-tut, oh.

[THUD]

[GASPS]

Now, handsome, this isn't what it looks like.

Oh, let me guess, it involves space aliens

and a road trip to Fresno.

Hm, couldn't find a babysitter?

Good one. Where's the other leopard?

I didn't steal the other leopard.

But I am going to steal this one.

[

]

[GRUNTS]

Since you two missed the show tonight,

here's your chance to catch the wrestling gorillas.

[GROWLS]

[

]

Sorry, fellas.

[GROWL]

[GRUNTS]

[GROWLS]

Meow.

Kitty doesn't have time to play, little one.

[GRUNTS]

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTS]

Oh, not bad.

Just wait until I start trying.

[GRUNTS]

[GASPS]

[GRUNTS]

[LEOPARD ROARS]

[GROWL]

Playtime's over.

[

]

[STRUGGLING]

Come on, precious.

[PURRS]

[TIRES SCREECH]

Hello, kitties.

[ROARS]

Joker?

[GROANS]

[SIGHS]

Twisted dreams.

Well, looks like we're back to my theory.

Catwoman stole the leopards.

I'm not so sure.

I found a strand of hair.

Okay?

It's green.

[

]

CATWOMAN: I never pegged you for a cat person, Joker.

Me? I despise the mangy beasts.

You see, I snatched these kittens

for a recent business acquaintance...

[PURRS]

Mr. Kilgore Steed.

The Kilgore Steed?

That creep hunts endangered species

on his private island.

Well, in exchange for those leopards

Kilgore has promised to deliver me the real cat's meow.

[CACKLES]

You're lucky I'm tied up.

Bringing us back to the subject.

I've always been told there's...

[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] more than one way

[NORMAL VOICE] to skin a cat.

[

]

A true classic.

Of course, I tweaked the punch line a smidge.

[CHAINS CLANKING]

Modern audiences like their humor

with a little more bite.

[JOKER CACKLES]

[

]

[CHAINS RATTLE]

And here I thought curiosity killed a cat.

[CACKLE]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[

]

My heroes.

Help her.

JOKER: Come on, boys.

The cats.

[LAUGHS]

[

]

Come on, we need to go get those cats.

Uh, we?

You're off to the pound, Catwoman.

Let's not be hasty, handsome.

Do you know where Joker's headed?

Hm, didn't think so. Well, I do.

And if we don't hunt them down toot sweet,

someone else will.

You're not falling for this.

[

]

Lead the way.

Catwoman leading the way?

Isn't that like calling in Penguin for backup?

[JOKER WHISTLING]

[HUMMING]

JOKER: Land, ho.

[CHUCKLES]

Let's collect my booty, boys.

CATWOMAN: For years, Kilgore Steed's been getting his kicks

by hunting the rarest of the rare.

Wild animals belong in the wild.

Not in cages, not wearing silly costumes

and especially not being hunted.

You're pretty hardcore about this.

Hm.

Animals are what make me purr.

When you're not hunting jewels.

[CHUCKLES]

Always the sourpuss. I bet he never lets you drive?

He barely lets me sidekick.

[

]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Knock, knock.

Evening, Joker.

You're supposed to say who's there?

[GROWLS]

You've done well.

Hmm.

Manly d?cor. My trophies.

Each and every one imported to my island.

So I could hunt them within my private safari.

Ahhh.

JOKER: What an amazing maze.

Adds to the thrill of the hunt, it would seem?

[GROWLS]

In you go kitties.

[GROWL]

I believe you have something for me?

[

]

[HIGH-PITCHED LAUGHING]

[GASPS]

They're gorgeous.

KILGORE: Albino hyenas, the rarest of the rare.

[CACKLES]

Think they look like their pa?

[BARK]

I-I wanna be sure the pups

have a good sense of humor.

And how do you determine that?

With a joke, of course.

[MUFFLED GROANS]

[COUGHS]

[MUFFLED GROANS]

[SIGHS]

[COUGHS]

[HYENAS CACKLE]

They know funny.

[ELECTRONIC BEEPING]

[

]

I know your heart was set on a cat hunt.

But would it upset you much if it was a cat and two bats?

[JOKER CACKLES]

[

]

If they've done anything to those cats,

I will scratch their eyes out.

You almost sound like you're going hero on us.

Hey, for the right cause.

You should give it try.

You might actually make a good good guy.

I'd need a sidekick.

And with few costume adjustments

you're not too far from being a Catgirl.

CATWOMAN: Kilgore's compound is supposed to be littered with traps.

[GASPS]

JOKER [OVER SPEAKER]: Now hold those poses.

That's how I want you to look

when you're stuffed and mounted on my wall.

[

]

What's your game, Joker?

The three of you, of course.

But before we play,

there are a few simple ground rules.

[CLANK]

Nah, ah, ah, ah.

Rule number one, no gadgets

or the pretty kitties take the express train,

from endangered to extinct.

No.

[LEOPARD PURRS]

[

]

[LAUGHS]

JOKER: My own bat and cat toys.

CATWOMAN: Why are you doing this?

'Cause my growing boys here need fresh meat,

and plenty of it.

Oh, lookie.

A rare, poisonous arachnid wants to join the fun.

Well, the more the merrier.

Off you go, Legs McGee.

JOKER: Now, on your mark...

get set...

run for your lives.

JOKER: Just a little something to help keep our eyes-es on the prizes.

[BEEPING]

[

]

Moss. Too slippery to climb.

[GRUNTS]

[SCRAPING]

[GROWLS]

[ROARS]

[

]

[GASPS]

Oh, boys,

dinner is served.

[BARKING]

[CACKLE]

Can't bear to look.

[CATWOMAN LAUGHS]

Come on. Cut it out.

That tickles, ha, ha, ha.

Boys? Sic her. She's a cat.

What kind of crazy canines are you?

Sorry to burst your balloon, Joker,

but hyenas are more closely related to cats than dogs.

And by the way, they're laughing at you.

Well, I'm gonna have the last laugh.

Hyah!

[GRUNTS]

[

]

[GRUNTS]

[BEEPING]

[BEEPING]

Time to find the others.

[GRUNTS]

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTS]

[GROWLING]

[GRUNTS]

[GASPS]

[BEEPING]

BATGIRL: Road map to Catwoman.

[

]

Yah!

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

Joker-brand catnip will give you a Cheshire grin.

BATMAN: Not if I can help it.

[GRUNTS]

You busted my boutonniere.

You're lucky that's all.

[HYENAS CACKLE]

Shut up.

Ah.

[GRUNTS]

[LAUGHS]

Take this.

Find the cats.

[

]

[PANTING]

BATMAN: Biometrics, Joker.

What are you, uh, prattling on about, Batsy?

It only opens for me.

Then I'll just belt you one.

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

CATWOMAN: Mama's here, babies.

[LEOPARDS PURR]

Looks like smiley could use some Joker-gas antidote.

Let's get these leopards back to their owners.

Oh, yeah, about that.

[GRUNTS]

Oh, hey.

Sorry, kid, but I've taken a shine to these darlings.

And seriously, if you ever decide to make the switch

from sidekick to partner in crime--

I'll be sure to look you up.

[LEOPARDS ROARING]

[GRUNTS]

[PANTING]

Here kitty, kitty, come on.

Ugh, what are you waiting for? Come on.

You of all people should know, cats don't like water.

Or being caged.

[GROAN]

Always the sourpuss.

[PURR]

[

]

I can't believe I thought there was some good in her.

I should have warned you about her tricks.

She's a sly one.

I guess, leopards don't change their spots.

You know, it was your instinct

not to trust her in the first place.

That mean you'll keep me?

You make a better Batgirl than a Catgirl.

Good. Never was much of a cat person anyway.

[

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