All language subtitles for Modern Family - 3x11 - Lifetime Supply.HDTV.en

So how's the family?

Great. Kids are getting so big.
Haley's about to go off...

You can stop
holding your stomach in.

- to college.
- You still exercising?

Clearly.

I look at Clint Eastwood or Chuck Norris
and I think,

there's no reason
I can't stay tough like..

Oh, tickles!

But...
Aw!

That hurt?

No. Not r--ow.

What?

It's probably nothing.
You feeling okay?

- Yeah. - Maybe we'll just run
a couple of tests, just to be safe.

What kind of tests?

If there's anything wrong,
I'll give you a call.

Okay.

So how's the real estate market doing?

Well, interest rates are low,
so it's a great time to be a buyer,

But if you're a seller,
you really have to...

Bend over?

True, but a quality property
is still a quality--

No, no, no.
I need you to bend over.

Oh. Right.

Well, let's dim the lights,
crank up the Norah Jones,

and get this over with.

Oh, hey. How'd it go?

Amazing. I was so proud of him.

Oh, thanks, honey.

I'm kind of proud of me, too.

Look at what they gave me.

"California State Bar Association Award,

"For Distinguished Service in The
Field of Environmental Law."

You should have seen it.
They called his name,

he went up on stage,
he gave a great speech.

It was humble, inspirational,

with a touch of dry humor at the end.

It was very Colin Firth.

Oh, Cam, thank you,

But... it's hardly an Oscar.

In the environmental law community,

it kinda is an Oscar.

So how was Lily?
I hope you weren't too bored.

Oh, please, are you kidding me?

I love talking to her.
She knows more words than Haley.

Oh, that looks great up there!

How impressed are you with
your uncle right now?

So impressed.

I didn't wanna ruin their moment

by telling them how many
awards I've gotten,

but let's just say

I don't get out of bed
for a trophy that size.

Darn it!

I'm trying to send an e-mail.

This mouse keeps sticking.

Pretty big reaction. It's 10 bucks, tops.

You just reminded me about
my dream last night.

I was in the middle of a meadow,
coming down a staircase,

then suddenly a black mouse showed up.

He stopped, stared at me in the eyes,

and opened his little mouth.

What did it say?

What did he say, Jay?

He was a mouse.
They don't know how to talk.

Now you're playing logic police?

You're standing on a staircase
in a meadow?

In my country, when somebody
dreams about a black mouse,

it means that something
bad is going to happen!

Ah, don't worry about it.

I dreamt about a lucky blue cow.

- We're good to go.
- Hey, Jay,

this is what I'm wearing
for golfing tomorrow.

Wanted to give you a heads up
in case there's some overlap.

What are you going for here?

Matt Damon in "Bagger Vance."
You didn't get that?

I did. I think
you look just like him.

It's the whole reason I asked
you to teach me to golf.

Any sport where you can
wear this, I'm in.

Who is that? It's 10:00 at night.

- I'll get it.
- Hold on, Gatsby.

Hola! It's Javier! Open up!

Dad!

There's my campeón!

There's your black mouse.

Hola, Javier,
what are you doing in town?

Well, I missed Manny's birthday,
plus I have a free week.

You're staying a week?

Make that go away.

So, Manny, tomorrow,

in honor of you becoming a man,

I am taking you to the racetrack

to enjoy the sport of kings, hmm?

That's so cool!

Actually, Manny and I have
plans to play golf tomorrow.

Golfing? Pfft! That is for old men

and for women who like women.

Come on. Your dad is in town.
Let's go to the races.

Yeah, can we all go?

Ay, no, baby, I can't.

I promised Haley that I was gonna
help her with her Spanish.

- But Jay's going to go with you.
- What?

I'm not gonna let Manny take off
with Javier by himself.

Once, when Manny was 6,

Javier took him to the petting zoo,

which later, I found out

that was the name of the stripper club.

A real petting zoo
would have been cleaner.

- But I was looking forward to playing--
- You're going.

That I don't miss.

Modern Family 3x11

sync by YYeTs, corrected by susanaLC
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Would you look at that?

Oh, yeah, you know,

I never saw us as trophy
on the mantle people,

but yours looked so gosh
darned good up there,

I figured, why not be
proud of what we've done?

Uh, "First Place,
Bass Catchers Spring Fish-Off,

Missouri North Division."

2-day total of 10 smallmouth bass

weighing 34.24 pounds

with a 4 1/2-pound kicker.

So you beat all the other
boys aged 12 through 17?

Sure did.

Look at our trophies up there.

We're a couple of winners, aren't we?

Are we?

Claire?

Where are all my razor blades?

- They're not in that box?
- No.

Well, I guess they're gone.

They can't be gone.

In my 20s,
I went on a game show

and won a lifetime supply
of razor blades.

Okay, Phil, time is up.
What is your answer?

3.14159.

Oh! I'm sorry, Phil.

The correct answer is banana cream.

Banana cream.

Banana cream.
Well, you got me there, Chip.

But you're not leaving
empty-handed, no.

You're going home
with a lifetime supply

of Genesis twin-blade razors.

What?! Two blades in one razor?

Man, it'll never get better than that!

You must have used them all up.

They said "a lifetime supply."

Honey, you got 15 years
of free razor blades.

Put that in the "Win" column
and move on.

Mom, is it okay if my
friend Walt comes over

to play "Rebel Fighters 3"?

Honey, don't you think
it is a little weird

that one of your best friends
is an eighty-year-old man?

No, it makes it more fun,
because he was in a real war.

He says cool things like

"See you in hell, Klaus."

I don't even know what that means.

Oh, hey, dad,
some doctor called for you.

Dr. Sendroff?

Yeah, that's it.
You were in the shower.

What did he say?

He wants you
to call him right away.

Oh, well.
See you in hell, Klaus.

What's wrong?

I don't know.

He ran a few tests on me yesterday.

He said he'll call
if something was wrong.

And now he's calling.

Hi, this is Phil Dunphy.

I'm returning Dr. Sendroff's call.

Are you serious?

- What?
- He's on a flight to London.

Um, is there any way I can reach him,

or--uh, uh,
someone else I can talk to?

Okay. Fine.

Please just tell him it's urgent.

Thank you.

Oh, boy.

Honey, I am sure it's nothing.

Claire, I'm tender under my arm.

Maybe Luke hit you
with his broomstick

when you guys were playing Quidditch.

I'm way too fast,
he never touched me.

I can assure you
you are perfectly fine.

That's very comforting,

coming from a marketing
major at a party school.

I like the number 4 horse.

He loves this track,

his dad won the Preakness,

last three finishes were in the money.

I like Miranda's Miracle.

Why?

There's this girl Miranda in my class,

and she is really pretty.

If she likes me back,
it will be a miracle.

Would you bet $2
on that one for me, Jay?

Sure, but you are throwing
your money away.

You both are.

The winner of the race will be number 7--

my hometown.

Number 7...

Well, he's carrying 3 extra pounds,

and he hates the distance.

Those are just words on a page.

I look the horse in the eye,

and he tells me...
he is the winner.

Tells ya?

- Perhaps this will sound crazy.
- No need for the qualifier.

But I have always been able to
see into the soul of a horse.

It is a gift,
and I do not question it.

Just like I always end up
on the shortest line at the bank.

Maybe I should bet on your horse.

Are you kidding me?
These aren't just words.

They give you all this information,

so you can make an informed decision

- and beat the odds.
- Yes, of course,

and this is why everybody
with a racing form is rich.

Now come on.
It's time to place our bets.

What's it gonna be, Manny?

$2 on my hometown.

You really think he's going to win?

Well, I only know what
he tells me with his eyes.

Don't ask me why, but maybe in
some previous life, I was a horse.

Or part of a horse.

Oh, hey, Alex called.

She left her cell phone here.

She's gonna come back and get it.

Cam, did you do something
to your fish trophy?

Oh, yeah, I forgot about
this fun middle part.

You see, now it looks like a
fish jumping out of the water.

Yeah, right over mine.

Do I sense something, Mitch?

You know, just because mine's
a little taller than yours,

doesn't make yours any less important.

Oh, no. That's not what I was feeling,

not even a little bit.

Oh, my god. You don't like
that I put my trophy up.

I just think it's a little weird

that immediately after I win a trophy,

You feel the need
to dig this thing up

and plop it down next to mine.

I'll have you know

that I want to display
this for quite some time.

But I put it in box in the garage

with all my other awards--

Yes, award-z--

Out of courtesy
to a sadly award-less you.

It looks ridiculous.

Mine is a distinguished
professional award

given to me by my peers,

and yours was given to you on a pier.

Okay, well, for your information,

when I won this,
it was a very big deal.

I cut a ribbon at the grocery
store and signed autographs.

"Best fishes, Cameron Tucker"

Oh, you know what?
I just remembered!

Mine comes with
a really fun pedestal, too!

Oh! Look at that!

- Oh, and proper hierarchy is restored.
- Mm-hmm.

Unless you suddenly remember

that your fish came with a top hat.

Okay. Well, you know what?

I'm gonna go get Lily from her
party and go to the park.

OK.

This award has changed you, Mitchell.

You may be flying high now,

but pretty soon, you're gonna
be free falling, Tom Petty...

Because you're petty.

Tom Petty.

Hmm? Get it?

About three sentences ago.

Hola, Haley.

Hi, Gloria. Thanks for coming over.

En español, por favor.

Uh, hola, Gloria.

Gracias for coming over.

No, the whole thing.

I don't know the whole thing.

Why do I even need to learn Spanish?

I live in california.
I'm never gonna use it.

That's the problem with Americans.

They expect all of us
to know their language,

but they don't even make
the effort to learn ours.

Win a war sometime.

Then we'll start talking like you.

Ha. So wrong.

Oh, hey, Gloria.

Hi, Phil. How are you?

I wish I knew.

Why? What's wrong?

Uh, I don't wanna bum you out.

My doctor did some tests

and said he'd call
if something was wrong,

and he called this morning.

And what did he say?

I don't know. I missed the call.

Now I can't reach him.

The black mouse.

- What?
- In my dream.

It was a bad omen.

But probably not for you.

The staircase.

No, no, no. You're fine. You're fine.

Am I? Get this --

15 years ago, I won a lifetime
supply of razor blades.

They ran out...

today.

What's with the spitting?
Are you warding off death?

No. When I did

I think I suck in a little bug.

$16 for the first race,
$10 from the second race,

plus $34--$60?

You're a genius, dad.

Well, I cannot take all the credit.

It is a particularly chatty
group of horses today.

I love gambling! It's so easy!

It's not easy.

Well, not for you.
You've lost, what, three in a row?

Oh, burn, Jay!

I'm sorry. That was uncalled for.

This is all so heady.

$50 on little bacon to win.

Ooh-ee.

- Yeah, ooh-ee.
- What? What ooh-ee?

There is something not
right about that horse.

- I think I saw it, too.
- You didn't see anything.

This horse is a heavy favorite.

The rest of the pack couldn't
beat a merry-go-round.

I'm sticking with Little Bacon.

It's your funeral.

Who are we going with, dad?

Nobody in this race, papito.

It was quiet down there
in the paddock just now--

too quiet.

Oh, gee. You know what? Make it $300.

Oh, my.

I'm telling you, kid, this is the one.

And you know how I know?

'Cause it said, "pfft."

They don't talk like that.

"Maria bought a beautiful
white dress for her wedding."

Um, Maria compró

un hermoso vestido blanco

para su-- I-I'm sorry.

I cannot concentrate with him here.

What are you doing?

Just taking it all in.

You're a beautiful, intelligent woman...

And don't you ever forget it.

Wow, he is so weird sometimes.

No, he's not weird! He's a saint!

And you will miss him
when he's gone...

One day.

Hey, Uncle Mitchell.

Your, uh, phone's on the table.

What's that?

Oh, Cam's old fishing trophy.

Yeah, when I woke up this morning,

that's where I found it.

Right after you got yours?

Thank you!

Oh, my god. Welcome to my world.

Last week,
I got this beautiful plaque

from the debate team for
outstanding achievement,

and what did my mom do?

She found one of Luke's
"participant" ribbons

and a certificate Haley got for
showing up somewhere on time,

and put all three of them
together on the same shelf!

It's, like, so unfair!

I was so glad I talked to Alex,

because she agreed with every
single thing I was feeling--

which made me realize

that I was acting
like a 14-year-old girl.

Ah, come on, kid.

I just lost an arm 'cause of you.

Now get your head in the game.

Sorry. I can't concentrate
with my dad staring at me.

I just love you so much.

I hope he's talking to you.

Ugh. Oh, great, now I'm dead.

I'm going to the bathroom.

You know, they say that happens.

Hey, Walt.

You ever think about death?

I'm 85. Death is my roommate.

I got a call from the doctor.

There's a 60% chance I'm gonna die.

Ha! Doctors--

said I'd be dead ten years ago.

Look at me.

I'm healthy as a--

I gotta go change my tank.

Phil, you've gotta let this go.

I'm sorry, Claire.

I don't know how to react

when I find out there's a
70% chance I'm gonna die.

Honey, listen to me.

You're gonna be fine.

- You really think so?
- I know so.

Claire's my rock.

You know when you're on a
plane and there's turbulence,

you look at the flight attendants,

and if they're still smiling
and serving drinks,

you know everything's gonna be okay?

That's Claire.

I could also picture her as a cop.

And into the final furlong
it's Little Bacon

followed by Bradswaxjacket.

Go Little Bacon. Go Little Bacon.

You got this! You got this!

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

And the winner is number 9
Little Bacon by 3 lengths.

Yes! I knew it!

You see that, Manny?
Dumb luck always runs out.

But if you live in the real world,

and you use your head,

not have it in the clouds
like Dr. Dolittle there,

you'll do okay.

Guess we should have listened
to Jay on this one, dad.

You got that right.
You should have listened to Jay.

And I'll tell you something else.

You can't look in a horse's eyes

and tell there's something wrong.

You can't even look in their
eyes at the same time --

One's here and one's here!

Come on. Let's go to the window, kid.

I may need some help
carrying my winnings.

Oh. Wait.

Jay, look.

Inquiry.

What's that?

It is when a horse has
committed an infraction.

Possible infraction.
Usually it's nothing.

I'm sure...

The number 9 horse Little Bacon

has been disqualified for interference.

What?!

The winner is number 6,
Bradswaxjacket.

You see?

The eyes...

They do not lie.

Tough break, Jay.

Here...

Little something for gas.

Cam was right.
I-I was being petty.

So I found his box of old trophies

and I decided to surprise him

by having them on the
mantle when he got home.

Well, I was the one who was surprised.

I had no idea
how many trophies he had--

First place, and all of
them for different things.

Music, football,
art show, science fair,

a chili cook-off.

A lifetime of accolades hidden away

just so I wouldn't feel bad.

Aah! That's a mouse! That's a mou--oh! Ew!

Oh! Disgusting!

Oh, no! No, cam, I-I was
gonna make a big display!

I believe you have.

No, no, Cam! There was a--

Oh! Gross!

Listen, Manny, do me a favor

and get me a cappuccino from
right over there, okay?

No, it's okay. I got it.

So...

You wanna talk about what
happened back there?

- Not at all.
- You know...

it is not just the horses whose souls
I can read through their eyes.

You really wanna know?
I'll tell you.

Okay. I'll leave you alone.

All right, listen, hang on.

I'm sorry I went after you
like that in front of Manny.

That was wrong.

No, I get it.
Nobody likes to lose at the races.

I don't owe this guy anything.

He stops by a couple of times
a year to see his kid.

It used to be a relief,
gave me a nice break.

But now Manny and I,
we got our own thing.

Look, I know I'm not his dad...

Maybe I don't like the reminder.

- Oh! Oh, my gosh!
- Hey, what's up?

- What?
- We came as soon as we heard.

Heard what?

We heard Phil got bad news
from the doctor.

Who told you that?

Gloria!

No, I didn't say
that he got bad news...

I said that
he was getting bad news.

You don't know
that he's getting bad news.

I saw a black mouse.

I saw a black mouse.

So he says.

- Okay. You guys...
- Oh, this is worse than I thought!

No, it's not. Listen to me. Listen.

Phil is fine. As a matter of fact,

you should go before
he even knows you're here.

No, no. We're staying.
We're staying.

We got here as soon as we could.

Did you bring the coffee cake?

Yes, I have it right here.

He carried it in from the car.
I paid for it.

Listen. Listen to me.

I am very sorry for what
you are going through.

Thank you.

Who is this?

Who, indeed?

I am Javier Delgado, Manny's father

and Gloria's former husband and lover.

I hope you do not think
this is insensitive,

but you are a beautiful woman,

and you will have no
trouble to find a man--...

Javier!
The body is not even cold yet!

The body is upstairs
watching basketball.

He is fine.

- Gloria said he was sick.
- No.

He went to the doctor,
he had some tests.

The doctor called. That's it.

Plus today he run out of his
lifetime supply of razors.

That's a sign.

This is a lot of hocus-pocus!

I can't believe I bought
a coffee cake over this!

Wait, wait, wait, no, no.
I'm confused.

What did the doctor say exactly?

I don't know.
We missed his call this morning.

The doctor called on Saturday?

- Yeah. So?
- Nothing.

Not nothing. Not nothing. What?

Well, it's just that, uh,

Doctors don't usually call
on Saturday with good news.

But they could call--

I mean, he could call with anything.

Do you think he's sick...

What's... what's going on?

Nothing. Nothing.
Everybody just came by

for absolutely no reason at all.

You look worried.

I'm not worried.

Oh, god. The plane's in trouble.

You put away the drink cart
and you're strapping in.

- You're gonna be fine, kid!
- You are gonna be great!

I wish I looked this good.

Stop, please!
You're freaking me out.

Are you gonna die?

I don't know!
There's stil a 5% chance I'll make it!

- It's Dr. Sendroff.
- Okay. Okay.

Guys, I don't know what's on

the other end of this phone call...

But whatever happens,
I just want you to know,

you've already given me
a lifetime supply of happiness.

I remember once as a child--

- Answer it!
- Do it!

Dr. Sendroff?

What's the word?

- Are you serious?
- What?

That's it?

What is it?!

H-hold on one second.

He's calling about a real
estate listing. I'm fine.

Ay, no.

Yesterday, you said you'd
call if something was wrong.

Then you called,
then you disappeared.

That is the most irresponsible,
unprofessional thing

I've ever heard of in my entire life!

And do you have anyone to represent you

in the sale of your current house?

Look into his eyes.

I don't care what the doctor says.

I give him six months.

Stop staring.

So, Phil Dunphy, tell us
a little bit about yourself.

Well, Chip, I'm married to
a great lady-- Hi, Claire!

And I have a baby girl.

Um, I'm a real estate agent,
and I enjoy playing checkers.

- Okay.
- Both Chinese and American.

And, uh, I am a fan of hip-hop.

Well, good for you.

Though I try to stay neutral in the
whole east coast/west coast thang.

- Next up we have a--
- One quick thing--

Shout out to my, uh, college buddy Ling,

who built his own helicopter and
is taking his first flight today,

and, uh, I also wanna
wish a happy anniversary

to my in-laws
Jay and Dede Pritchett.

Your eternal love is an
inspiration to us all.

Okay. That's enough.

Next up, we have a homemaker
from West Mifflin, Pennsylvania.

Hi.

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