All language subtitles for Man With a Plan 3x06 - Semi-Indecent Proposal

Guys, the flip house
is really coming along.

- Yeah.
- After we sell it,

I'm gonna use the money

to buy a couples
vacation for me and Marcy.

Oh, that's really romantic, Don.

Yeah. Marcy's going to the
Bahamas and I'm going to Mexico.

How am I the divorced guy?

Actually, we're gonna use
the money to buy a house

and then repeat the process
until we own this city.

Yeah... well, just the
bad parts of the city.

We can't afford the good parts.

Okay. Inspection's all done.

All right. Yes.

We failed?

Wha... how could that be?

Did you not see the six-pack
I left in your truck?

The inside pipes are up to code,

but your sewer line to the
street needs to be replaced.

And for next time,

I'm a wine guy.

That means we have to
tear up the whole driveway.

We can't afford that.

We already used our airline
miles to buy the doorknobs.

I feel bad. I'm the one who
convinced you to buy this house.

It's kind of my fault.

What... no, Andi, no.
It's nobody's fault.

But this whole sewer thing,

that's gonna run, like, 20 grand.

Way to go, Andi.

Look at this budget. How are
we gonna come up with 20 grand?

Well, can't we just tack it
onto our construction loan?

We're at our limit with the bank.

When I pull up to the drive-through,

the teller turns off the microphone
and ducks behind the counter.

If we can't finish this
house, we can't sell it.

And if we can't sell it, we
could lose the whole business.

No! I need this job.

Since Jen and I split
up, she has all the money

and the lawyer says I can't have any.

A-All right, everybody, calm down.

Let's all remember:
this is Andi's fault.

All right, all right, all right.

Let's not turn on each other.

Pittsburgh has plenty of banks.

Tomorrow, we'll just
hit up a bunch of them

until we find one that'll give us money.

Or I know a guy down at
the track who lends money.

One hitch: if we can't pay him back,

we'll have to kill
him before he kills us.

All right.

Let's call murdering a guy plan B.

Okay, huddle up, team.

We need a new loan to
finish the flip house

and I don't see any
reason we shouldn't get it.

We are excellent at what
we do, people like us

and we're good-looking.

Okay, I made a list of banks.

We'll split up

- and get to as many as possible.
- All right.

Oh, I got a good feeling about this one.

It's right next-door to Hooters.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I never heard of any of these.

Yeah, well, I picked small ones.

I'm hoping they're small
because they're not smart.

All right, that's the spirit, Andi.

All right, come on,
we're burning daylight.

Let's do this thing.

Ugh, good. You're all here.

I'm glad you're not busy.

Uh, actually, Mom, we're right
in the middle of something.

No, you can tell your
story after I tell mine.

Your father is impossible.

H-He just had his knee operation.

All he wants to do is sit around.

In fairness, he's recovering
from a major surgery.

This seems like a family
matter. I'll wait in the car.

Well, I thought he was doing better.

He was, but now he's
just back on the couch.

I mean, I want

to be known for my patience

and consideration, but
that's just not my bag.

So I'm going to my sister's.

Isn't his homecare nurse helping?

If by helping, you mean
eating all my Milanos

and finishing my crossword puzzles,

then yes, he's a gift from heaven.

Come on. I'm taking your
crossword for the train.

Love to the grandbabies.

What were we doing before she came in?

We were about to lose our business.

Oh, right. That thing Andi did.

So you can see, we're very serious.

We have a solid business plan,

the house is almost done.

A-And we're both wearing ties.

The trouble is, you're
at your loan limit.

Right. That's why
we're both wearing ties.

We think our project
has a lot of potential.

And I'm thinking you might
be more likely to help us

because we are haircut twins.

Oh. Yeah, you're right.

It's like you're looking in a mirror

that wants to give you
money... a money mirror.

So what are you thinking?

I'm thinking I should grow out my hair.

I'm not sure you have enough collateral.

We may be small, but we're not dumb.

Nobody said you were dumb.

Though we are hoping for desperate.

Look, we have other options.

We just don't want
to have to kill a guy.

So you have all the numbers.

What do you say?

No.

No.

No.

- Please?
- No.

Maybe...

Oh, wait. I didn't see that. No.

No, no, no.

That loan guy

left with our application.

That is not a good sign.

Do you hear anybody laughing out there?

I haven't been rejected this
much since middle school.

And high school...
and when my wife left.

I should be used to this by now.

Thanks for waiting.

So? How bad is it?

Actually, I think we can
do something with this.

Okay, I'm sorry... wait. Wait.

Did you just say not "no"?

I'm gonna need to run some numbers...

He's running numbers.
He's running numbers!

- He's getting a calculator.
- All right, be cool, Lowell.

Sorry. It's just, this loan
is really important to us.

Well, I'll be honest,
it's not a slam dunk,

but you've got a spark.

I have a good feeling about you.

You seem hard-working.

I am hard-working.

And dedicated.

Super-duper dedicated.

Do you need to write that on
there? Or, y-you'll remember.

He'll remember. He'll...

Ah. Crosscourt smash.

- Suck on that, Funchy.
- Hey.

Watch the language. This is Wimbledon.

The queen's in the audience.

Oh, no, my boys are here.

Uh, hide the fun.

- Dad? Oh.
- Hey, guys.

Joe's just been sitting
here in tremendous pain.

Uh, sorry to bother you, Dad. We
need to borrow one of your ties.

We got a couple more banks to see,

and Don got mayonnaise on his.

I told you today of all days,
don't get extra mayonnaise.

It was a turkey sandwich.
That bird gave his life

and I'm not gonna put mayonnaise on him?

Don't be disrespectful.

How's the leg, Dad?

Oh, not good.

And Funchy's pushing me too hard.

Hey, I'm here to kick
ass and eat Milanos,

and I'm all out of Milanos.

Ooh.

Hey, Andi. How's it going?

I have a not no.

That's amazing. So
far, all we got is noes.

Well, one bank took our picture,

but I think that's to make
sure we never come back.

Okay, well, let me keep
working on this and...

Okay, you... listen, you got this. Okay?

Be confident, but not cocky.

Stay calm, but it's all up to you.

It's life or death. Just have fun.

So, what do you think, James?

Well, uh, this is a tricky one.

Uh, but sometimes, you just
got to go with your gut.

Don't tell the squares upstairs,

but I'm a bit of a vibe guy.

Oh. Well, we are a
very pro-vibe company.

Absolutely. I'm vibrating right now.

So, um, what's the next step?

Well, there's a lot to go through,

and I have meetings the rest of the day.

I'd say come back tomorrow,
but Karen's here then,

and she has zero vibes.

What if we met to talk
about it over dinner?

You mean, like, a real business dinner?

I've never had one of those...
I mean, I have, I have.

I've had so many, it's
like, ugh. But, uh,

I've just never had one of
those scheduled for tonight,

i.e. I'm free.

I'd invite you, too, but, uh,

she seems like the boss,
am I wrong about that?

No. I'm not allowed
to make any decisions.

- That's how smart she is.
- Mm.

Look at you, all ready for
your first business dinner.

I know you don't like it
when I say "You go, girl,"

so I'll just say it in my head.

You go, girl.

I heard that.

I couldn't keep it in, I'm too excited.

I can't wait to tell Adam.

Oh, no, no. No, you can't tell Adam.

Uh-uh. No. He wouldn't understand.

I mean, even though
it's a business dinner,

all he'll hear is that I'm
going out with another guy.

I can't keep a secret
from Adam. He's my hero.

Jimmy Olsen never lied to Superman.

Look, he gets jealous,
even when there's no reason.

One time, at a concert, the singer said,

"This one goes out to all the ladies,"

and Adam was in a bad
mood the whole night.

He said he knew Billy
Joel was talking to me.

I saw Billy Joel in New York once.

He said, "Get out of my way."

Look, I just want to
get this loan, come home

and surprise Adam when it's all done.

Which is why I need you to cover for me.

Just tell him, uh, I went
to the mall or something.

No, I can't handle that kind of stress.

In high school, I was voted most
likely to panic and pass out.

When I was presented with
the award, I passed out.

Well, I believe in you.

Don't.

You can do this.

I can't.

Lowell... you go, guy.

Well, now I have to try.

Maybe we would have had
a shot at that last bank

if you didn't have
ice cream all over you.

A tie is not a napkin.

- Agree to disagree.
- Oh...

Oh, hey, Lowell.

Hey, uh, where's Andi?

You had to call me?
You guys couldn't think

to do this yourselves?

Well, we didn't know what to
do after we made fun of him.

Yeah, Andi wasn't here. Where is Andi?

Why do you think I'm lying?

What?

Fine. I wasn't supposed to tell you,

but since you can see right through me,

she went to dinner
with the loan officer.

Why wouldn't Andi want me to know that?

I'm sure it's a very nice lady.

It's a guy. Okay?

The loan officer is a guy.

What?!

Every guy is after her.

This-this is Billy Joel all over again.

No, no, it's not like that.

I met the loan guy. He's harmless.

You better have just said "armless."

It's a business dinner.

Is that what he told her?

Let me tell you something, Lowell.

If it's a guy and a dinner,
at a table, with a waiter,

it's a date.

He's right.

Restaurants are where
women fall in love.

They watch you eat.
If they can handle it,

then they mate with you.

Where'd they go?

Moonbeams.

Moonbeams?!

That's the most romantic place in town.

I'm afraid to take Andi there

'cause we got three kids already.

I'm going down there to bust this up.

What? Wait. Why?

This guy is taking advantage of her.

Andi doesn't know how
business creeps operate.

She only sees the best in people.

It's one of her worst traits.

But we need the loan.

Are you saying my wife is
less valuable than money?

Yes.

I mean, we-we have plenty of Andi.

What we don't have is money.

Your problem is you are
not sensitive, like me.

Now, I am gonna go down there
and rearrange this guy's face

like Mr. Potato Head.

I better follow him, make sure
he doesn't do anything stupid.

Let him go. He loves his wife.

If you don't move out of my way,

I will pick my teeth with you.

You know what, Marcy?

You go. I'm gonna stay
here and make fun of him.

James, I appreciate you
taking the time to meet me.

I-I put together all the documents

on our property.

Yes, it's in my
daughter's princess binder,

but it says, "Always stay magical."

I think that's good advice for anybody.

Well, this is definitely a first.

But it doesn't matter
what's on the binder,

it's what's inside that matters.

Oh, more stickers.

I'm not trying to bribe you,
but you approve our loan,

you'll get a gold star.

Dad?

I'm afraid you got
the wrong guy, partner.

What are you doing here? I
thought you couldn't walk.

Okay, you got me. But
don't tell your mother.

If she knows I'm okay,
she'll make Funchy leave.

Medicare pays for two more weeks.

But if your knee is healed,
you don't need him anymore.

I made a friend, and
I'm not giving him back.

Well, thanks for including
me in your insurance scam.

I think you've got some bigger problems.

Looks like your wife is
stepping out with another guy.

I was gonna text you, but my steak came.

I know all about it.
I'm here to break it up.

Geez.

Where do you think you're going?

To give that guy a piece of my mind.

You're not getting past me.

I've been eating ramen for six weeks

because of this flip house.

My sodium is through the roof

and I'm feeling crazy strong.

Okay, Marcy, I cannot let my wife

be on a date with another guy.

They are not on a date. Look at them.

It's a public place.

Nothing is going on.

He's pouring her wine. That is a date!

Your dad and Funchy are having wine.

Is that a date?

I don't know, it looks
pretty romantic over there.

They're sharing a wedge salad.

Here, you can have all the bacon.

- Oh, you get me.
- Yeah.

Hmm?

J-Just before you go over there,

I want to remind you how
important this loan is to us.

At least hear my side of the story.

Okay, you have two minutes.

Okay, so, the year was 1974,

and a pair of professors
who thought they were barren

gave birth to a miracle
baby named Marcy.

This pie chart is very well done.

Oh, yeah, well, hope...
hope you're not on a diet.

You know, 'cause it's a pie chart.

She's laughing.

What's she laughing at?

Well, maybe he told her a joke. Yeah...

She doesn't laugh at my jokes like that.

Last week I told her the one

about Mr. T in the haunted house.

"I pity the ghoul."

Ghoul is another word for ghost.

He used to say, "I pity the fool."

Aw, forget it.

I just wish I could hear
what they're talking about.

Ooh, I see an opening.

- No, no...
- Shh!

Oh, don't mind me,
I'm a, uh, seat warmer.

That's how fancy this place is.

Not a cold butt since 1987.

Ladies.

Oh, for God's sakes. Adam.

Well, well, well.

What are you doing here?

I'll tell you what I'm doing here.

This is not a business
dinner. This is a date.

You are preying on an
innocent woman in need,

because you are a slimy, scheming...

friendly-looking guy.

You don't seem that threatening.

This is ridiculous.

I mean, after 18 years of marriage,

I can't have dinner with
a business associate?

This is not Billy Joel.

Billy Joel hit on me one night.

That's pretty cool.

I am trying to save our business,

and all you're doing is making
us both look like amateurs.

I think I can clear this up.

Oh, thank you, James.

This is a date.

Ha! I knew it.

I assume the worst in people.
That's one of my best traits.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wha-What about the loan?

I ran it past Karen this afternoon.

She said no, but I was
still jazzed about our date.

It wasn't a date. I am married.

- Yeah, it doesn't bother me.
- Oh...

You gotta knock on the
door if you want it to open.

I'm not a door. Are you hearing him?

Hey, I'm just happy I
was right about this.

I got really sweaty there for a second.

But I'll gladly take him outside
and tune him up, if you want.

No.

I'm not gonna waste my
time on some jerk who,

in this day and age, still tries to use

a position of power
to manipulate people.

And, you know, I
wouldn't normally do this

to an innocent glass of wine, but...

Ooh!

Oops.

That was awesome. Hmm.

That's why all the guys are after her.

So you failed to seduce the bank guy.

I wasn't trying, Don.

Oh, now you weren't trying.

Did you even listen to the story?

The bad news is we're
back where we started.

No money, no loan.

Now Don and I will have
to vacation together.

Honey, I'm sorry I
got so jealous tonight.

Obviously, you can
take care of yourself.

Oh, that's okay.

I mean, you were right about him.

Just like Billy Joel.

"This one goes out to all the ladies."

He was looking right at you.

Hey, guys.

Why the long faces?

Why are you so cheerful?

Did you pass out in a flower patch?

Actually, I have some good news.

When Adam left for the
restaurant, I had a feeling

the deal might go south, and it
was time for extreme measures.

So I went to see my ex, Jen,

and I told her I wanted $20,000.

You didn't.

I did. And I told her if
she didn't give it to me,

I would tell her grandma
that she cheated on me

with her horse riding instructor.

Nobody wants their nana to
know they did it in a barn.

Anyhoo, the money's
already in my account.

Lowell, you just saved
our company. That's great.

I mean, that's blackmail.

- It is?
- Yeah.

I'll be right back.

- Oh, oh...
- No.

No. Oh...

Oh, geez, Bev's home.

Oh...

I'm back.

Hi, dear.

I'd get up, but I can't.

- His leg's not getting any better.
- Yeah.

Looks like Funchy's
gonna have to stay around

a little while longer.

You're propping up the wrong leg, Joe.

That was your one job!

Synced and corrected by Octavia
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