Original subtitles

Sir John!

- Sir John! - What is it?

The war, Sir John. It's over.

Over! Yes!

At last. Just listen to them out there.

Yes. That's another one we've come through, Ens.

That's right, Sir John. They can't finish us off, can they?

- Ens! - Yes, sir?

Close that window, will you? It's become damn chilly in here.

Yes, Sir John.

'Look hard...

'For this is the last we shall see of Sir John,

'a Justice of the Peace,

'Chairman of the Wroughton Unionist Association,

'Vice President of his local British Legion,

'Honorary Chairman of the Regional Board

'for the Adjustment of Distressed Gentlewomen

'and sleeping partner in that vast financial compIex,

'the City and Threadneedle Trust.

'Yes, there goes Sir John,

'a solid block in the edifice of what seemed

'to be an ordered and stable society.

'There he goes,

'on his way out.

'For with victory

'came a new age.

'And with that new age a new spirit.'

♪ I'm all right, Jack, I'm OK

♪ That is the message for today

♪ So count up your lolly, feather your nest

♪ Let someone else worry, boy, I couIdn't care less

♪ If you scratch my back, I'll do the same for you, Jack

♪ That's the message for today

♪ Yeah, the workers and the bosses, a sweet duet

♪ Share the gains or the losses, you bet

♪ Well, everybody's comrades now

♪ Like Cain and Abel, we're all brothers, and how!

♪ If there's any fiddle, get in, in the middle

♪ Snatch your whack, Jack, while you may

♪ Well, we all pull together, but not too fast

♪ Got to help the other feller make the job last

♪ We trust one another, just like Big Brother

♪ Blow you, Jack, I'm all right

♪ Hey! We're going to make it in history

♪ It's the bravest new world that you ever did see

♪ Knock the time-and-a-half off, watch out for the bull

♪ Be first for the carve-up, be nobody's fool

♪ They talk about Utopia, don't let 'em soft-soap yer!

♪ Squab your whack, brother, hold on tight

♪ Blow you, Jack!

♪ I'm all right ♪

'Britain in the early fifties.

'A nation facing the challenge of survival

'in a competitive world,

'after a war in which her wealth and manpower had been stripped

'to the very bone.

'The story of one man's response to this challenge

'is also the story of a nation.

'This is the story of one man.

Times have changed, Father.

In industry nowadays they're crying out for peopIe like me.

In my days, the university man went into one of the learned professions,

if he had any brains. If he hadn't, it was either the Church or the army.

I tried the army, Father.

- Did you? - Yes, of course you did.

I say. Mr Windrush.

I'm terribly sorry, Mr Windrush,

but one of our balls is just near the tabIe.

Could we have it, please?

Yes. That's all right, yes.

Stanley, get it for her, will you?

Oh! Please, don't throw it.

I'm a frightfully bad catch.

It's the major's fault.

He's got such a terribly strong service.

- Thanks most awfully. - All right.

Heavens, Father... is that a sample of the locaI talent?

Talent? Oh! That's our Miss Forsdyke.

Not a naturaI bIonde, of course.

- Thirty-love. - No...

Well, I suppose you're used to living here, but I know I shouId find it most unnerving.

Nonsense, Stanley! It's simply a question of attitude.

Here we're down to fundamentals.

I wouldn't disagree with that, Father.

Dignity and privacy, Stanley, onIy exist nowadays in a place like this.

Not on the tennis courts, Father.

- You staying to lunch? - Erm... no, I don't think I will.

I've got to be at the University Appointments Board this afternoon.

I still don't understand why anybody brought up as a gentleman

should choose to go into industry.

Well, of course, I shall be an executive.

- Decided where you're going to live? - That rather depends.

I'm staying with Aunt Dolly at the moment.

Aunt Dolly? Why, your Uncle Bertie's mother.

Is she still alive?

- Well, she was this morning. - Really?

Yoo-hoo, Mr Windrush.

We've quite worn the major out, Mr Windrush.

Do you think we could tempt your son to join us for a game?

No, I'm afraid not. Terribly sorry!

Father, I really must be going. I'll, erm...

I'll let you know how I get on at the interview.

There's no doubt about it.

Industry today offers a young man tremendous opportunities,

provided he has three things:

confidence, intelligence, and enthusiasm.

Now, what particular industry had you in mind?

Well, I was thinking of something not too heavy, sir.

Not too heavy?

Well, not, for exampIe a thumping great business like iron and steeI.

I see. Light industry, eh?

And preferably near London

with early closing.

With what?

Well, I thought perhaps one afternoon a week.

You do expect to work, I suppose?

Oh! Good Lord, yes, sir. I'm not afraid of hard work.

Given the opportunity, I'm confident I shall get to the top.

Oh, I hope you're right.

Well, I'll arrange some appointments for you,

and send you a list of people you can go and see.

- I hope you have some luck. - Thank you very much, sir.

Oh! Windrush! Don't forget...

Intelligence, enthusiasm, and an air of confidence.

Above all, an air of confidence.

I won't, sir.

'Industry! With tremendous opportunities for the young man.

'Industry, spurred by the march of science

'in all directions,

'was working at high pressure

'to supply those vital needs

'for which the peopIe had hungered for so long.'

♪ Detto doubles the bubbles

♪ Detto halves all your troubles

♪ D-E-T-T-O

♪That's Detto, better for you

♪ Detto! ♪

And we need chaps like you with a higher education

to enabIe us, once we've trained you,

to hold our place as one of the great detergent-producing nations of the world.

Now, before I take you and show you around the factory,

are there any questions you'd like to ask me?

You also make Frisko, which costs less.

What's the difference between that and Detto, sir?

Basically none. It's a question of packaging.

Detto, as you see, has the larger carton,

but they contain identical quantities.

Detto is aimed at the young housewife.

It might interest you to know, sir,

that I have a great aunt who tried Frisko once,

and she came out in an appalling rash.

Is that so?

It may interest you to know that my babies' napkins

have always been washed in Frisko

and that no child has shown a sign of a spot since birth.

Of course, my aunt's rash was on her arm.

Next question?

What is the manufacturing cost, sir?

Now, that's a very good question. I'm glad you asked that.

The actual cost of the contents of these two packets

does not exceed three tenths of a penny.

The retail price...

eleven pence... ten pence ha'penny!

Now, what does that indicate?

A whacking great profit.

To market a commodity it is necessary to exploit.

And that costs money.

Currently we are giving away a set of electroplated teaspoons

with every four packets of Detto purchased.

Excuse me, sir...

but has the firm considered the alternative?

What alternative?

It just occurred to me, sir.

Sell the teaspoons and give away the Detto.

Tell me, what is your name?

Windrush, sir.

Windrush!

Well, Mr Windrush,

with your approach I see not only no future for you,

but no future for us.

You'd better go, Mr Windrush.

You are not the detergent type.

♪ Num-Yum's the best, bar none

♪ So of course we say "Num-Yum"

♪ Num-Yum is scrumptious and it's so nutritious

♪ Num-Yum

♪ Num-Yum is fruit and fun

♪ Num-Yum's the best, bar none

♪ Because it's soft and milky and delicious! Num-Yum! ♪

This is Mr Windrush, Hooper.

He's come to see us about an executive trainee appointment.

Now, take him round. Show him the whole process.

I'll come back later.

Thank you very much, sir.

- Morning. - Morning.

Here, try one.

- That's very kind of you, sir. - Not at all.

Thank you very much.

- Do you like it? - Mm...?

It's our new summer formula.

Fascinating. What's in it?

- What's in it?

Come on, I'll show you.

And now, then, this is the first stage of the mixing process.

You see, each pipe up there

gives the intermittent one-minute discharge of the basic ingredients

into a rotating barrel inside here. Go on, eat it up.

That's right. You see, the timing of the flow

determines the quantities, as per formula.

Now then, every four minutes,

a pressure-operated relief valve

discharges the mixture out of here into this duct

on its way to the next stage.

There she goes.

Come on, taste it.

Go on, it's quite cool.

- Good? - Mm...

OK, all right, follow me.

Now, here we have the cooling and blowing tunnel.

You see, air jets cool the mixture to the required consistency,

simultaneously blowing it up...

Now, then, you taste this.

Haven't you finished it yet? You are a slowcoach. Come on!

That's all right, have the lot. Go on, swill it down.

You see, it's all mellow, isn't it?

Yes, all right, come on, over here.

Here the mixture has solidified...

Not here, Miss Hackney! Please, dear!

Here, try a bit.

Now...

Now, this machine, as you see, stamps out

a two-and-a-half-ounce uncoated block. Here, tuck in.

Each machine cuts 48,000 blocks a day...

You're not eating. Go on, enjoy yourself.

...at the rate of approximately 2,000 an hour.

Now, from here, we go down here.

And, this is the enrobing chamber,

where the blocks are coated with icing, of course, and decorated.

This is my favourite machine.

I say... Is there anything wrong, old man?

My hat!

Pretty overwhelming, isn't it?

Come on, round the other side.

And here we have the coated blocks - soft, milky, delicious.

All ready for stamping with a walnut and a cherry.

Now all that remains is to wrap 'em, pack 'em, despatch 'em.

There we are.

Seen everything, my boy?

Course, it isn't easy to digest, all in one go, you know.

- 'He's turned out to be...' - Look I...

'...some adolescent, stupid moron...

'Are you sure he was at Oxford?'

I can only say I'm sorry.

'I ought to tell you that he created a damned bad impression upon my staff...'

Look, I can't do more than apologise now, can I?

'...all I know...

'...like that. Well, for God's sake, don't get me a maniac...'

Well, I'm sorry. I'm extremely sorry, but goodbye!

It's that fellow Windrush again.

Take this letter, Miss Harvey, would you?

Dear Windrush,

your appointment yesterday with Mr Bartlett,

Managing Director of the British Corset Company,

brackets,

Foundation of the Nation,

close brackets, Limited,

was the eleventh granted you in the past ten days.

'In view of the singular lack of appreciation you have encountered,

'I am led seriously to doubt whether you and industry are compatible.

'Yours faithfully...'

Your Uncle Bertram and a gentleman have called to see you, Master Stanley.

They're having tea with your Aunt Dolly in the drawing room.

Thank you, Spencer.

Here's your tea, my pretties.

Here is Stanley.

- Hello, Aunt Dolly. - Hello, darling.

- Hello, young fellow. - Hello, Uncle.

I don't think you know Mr De Vere Cox.

Yes, he does, Lady Dorothy.

We was comrades-in-arms together during the last war.

Coxie! Good graciousness me! What on earth are you doing here?

He's a business friend of your uncle's.

Matter of fact, we've come to do you a bit of good, Stan.

Really?

May I give you another cup of tea, Mr Cox?

Thank you, milady.

Mother tells me you want to go into industry.

That's right, Uncle. They're crying out for people,

but... I don't know why, it doesn't seem very easy to get in.

M...

Well, Stanley, I happen to be a director of quite an important engineering firm.

Missiles.

How would you like to join us?

That'd be wonderful, Uncle.

Well, of course it would, Stanley. And this is the right time, too.

Your uncle's firm is just about to land a big arms contract.

Actually, it was Coxie's idea that I should take you on.

Thank you very much, Coxie.

Well... what would I have to do?

Well, I expect you'll just supervise, dear.

After all, you were at Oxford.

The first thing to do is to apply to the local labour exchange.

- Labour exchange? - That's right!

I... I did suggest to your Uncle Bertie, Stanley,

that you might, perhaps go in on the other side.

What other side?

Become a worker.

- A worker. - Unskilled, of course.

Does Mr Cox seriously suggest, Bertie,

that Stanley should throw in his lot with the working classes?

I'm perfectly serious.

Tell me, Stanley, on the management side,

what sort of money would you hope to start with?

Oh, about...

eight pounds a week?

Well, there you are, Lady Dorothy.

I mean, if you were an unskilled worker,

your union would see you never got as little as that.

What's more, as a proper worker, Stanley, you're important.

Politicians need your vote,

so they fall over themselves trying to make you happy.

Can you imagine our Stanley here, all muscles and sweat?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, dear lady!

You've got hold of the wrong end of the conception.

These days, it's the management who does all the, er...

perspiring.

I mean, you take an up-to-date firm like Missiles.

Your Uncle Bertie's given himself ulcers trying to make them more efficient

and tell the men it means a bigger wage packet.

And you'll be the one who gets it, Stanley.

I must say, it does sound attractive, Aunt Dolly.

I couldn't bear the thought of you having to join one of those horrid unions.

Well, I don't suppose one has to.

- I so hate violence. - Nonsense, Mother!

That sort of thing doesn't happen nowadays.

Well, Stanley, what about it, eh?

Well, Uncle...

would I be able to work my way up?

Of course. In time.

All right.

I'll have a go.

Very sensible.

Mind you, don't mention to anyone at the works

that your uncle's on the board of directors.

It, er... could disturb the industrial peace.

'The gates had opened on a brand new age,

'and through them marched the people.

'The blues of bygone days had faded into a prospect pink and bright

'as they marched happily to their work.

'Beckoned by opportunity,

'the British worker responded with a new sense of the dignity of labour.

'To match his age-old traditions

'of brotherhood and comradeship.'

- Here you are, Knowlesey. - Ay.

Here you are, Knowlesey. A nice little two-shilling double for today.

- From Bertie in the machine shop. - Ta, mate.

Did you do the one I give you Friday, Charlie?

Get out. I did the horse you give me on Thursday and it's still running.

Knowles! Knowles!

Watch it, here comes Crawley!

Knowles, come here.

This new man here, Knowles. I'm putting him on the trucks with you.

- Give him the low-down, will you? - Right, Mr Crawley.

Come on, you men. Start work!

Come on!

Come on, get cracking. Come on.

That's a nice, er... smooth bit of stuff, ain't it, squire?

- Got your overalls? - I'm afraid I haven't.

Ooh, you'd better buy some quick, otherwise you'll have the major after you.

- Major? - Yeah, Old Itchy, the personnel manager.

What you might call everybody's auntie.

That's all right for the brass at Head Office.

They don't actually have to deal with the workers.

As personnel officer, that's my job.

God help me!

And I can tell you, they're an absolute shower.

A positive shower!

But my instructions, Major Hitchcock, are to carry out a time and motion study

- in every department. - Whose bright idea was that?

Mr Tracepurcel, I suppose. He engaged me.

- Thank you. - But surely the men must know that I...

Know!

Get this into your head.

They know nothing other than what's in their pay packet at the end of the week.

We've got chaps here who can break out into a muck sweat merely by standing still.

One thing they can't stand is being stopwatched.

But the sole purpose of a time and motion study

is to enable the men to work efficiently, well within their natural capacity.

Capacity!

My dear fellow, the only capacity natural to these stinkers

is the capacity to dodge the column.

Sorry, old chap!

Letting off steam like that. Had rather a punishing night, last night.

Did a spot of time and motion study of my own.

Redhead. Rather athletic.

- Quite! - Well, not to worry, old boy!

I shall just have to think of a way for you do your stuff

without these rotters cottoning on.

It won't be easy, though.

The last time and motion fellow we had

tried to pass himself off as one of the workers.

They rumbled him right away.

Poor chap's still in hospital.

Up...

down.

- Dead simple. - I must say.

It looks a jolly efficient little job.

It must be great fun driving it.

Yes, well, all you've got to worry about is to remember

to plug in here at nights, when you knock off work,

so the batteries are fully charged when you come in in the morning.

Terrific. It's so simple.

The man hours saved must be colossal.

Yes. Well, we're on a fixed-bonus system,

so there's no need to go flogging your guts out.

I dare say, but after all,

one of these trucks must be able to do the work of a dozen men.

Not half, really, don't you know?

You're, er... dead keen, ain't you, squire?

Could you just run over the thing once again? I...

Dai, we've got another one. Go on, go and tell 'em.

Good idea, Charlie.

...so when he started shooting off about efficiency

and doing the work of ten men, Brother Carter suggested

that I should report the matter formally to the shop steward.

Very commendable, lad.

On a point of order, Brother Chair,

if he is one of them time and motion blokes,

we'll have to move quick otherwise he'll stopwatch the men on the job

and we'll find ourselves with tighter schedules for the same rate of pay.

Exactly, brother. Exactly. But we have to play this thing rather careful.

On the one hand, we must be fair to the man concerned,

yet on the other hand, we don't wish to raise issues with the management

which will reverberate back to our detriment.

Hear, hear!

This lot's got to be shifted to despatch. We'll start this end.

If you don't mind, I'll start on my own, down here.

- Watch it! - 'Ere, what's your game?

Frightfully sorry!

- Sorry. Sorry. Sorry... - 'Ere, who's gonna sort this lot out?

- You berk! - Are you potty or something?

- Right, play 21. - Same here.

Good lord, man, what the hell do you think you're doing?

- Shut that bleeding door! - Go on! Get off out of it, will you?

I do beg your pardon. I'm new here.

- I should bloody well think you are. - Now, you bring those things back here,

and you get back up the other end. That's where you ought to be.

You berk!

I don't know, they're taking on some proper charlies nowadays, aren't they?

Right, here we go again.

- What are you doing? - Three!

I say...

The most extraordinary thing.

I moved some crates down there,

and there were some chaps playing cards.

- They were absolutely furious. - No, well, I told you to start this end.

But who are they?

They are what is called redundant.

The management wanted to sack 'em,

but the works committee said if they did,

we'd all come out on strike.

So, they're kept on as checkers.

Ha! But don't expect them to check anything.

Now, come on, get weaving and only one at a time, mind you.

- That's him, Mr Kite. - You!

You!

What do you think you're doing?

Frightfully sorry.

Afraid I haven't quite got this thing buttoned up yet.

What's your name?

Windrush!

Me and my colleagues are the works committee.

How do you do?

Would you mind producing your union card?

I'm afraid I can't.

Well, you see, I happen to be staying with an aunt

who has rather strong feelings about unions.

She's not the only one with strong feelings, mate.

- It's not compulsory, is it? - No, it's not compulsory,

Only you've got to join, see?

Well, if it's not compulsory that's all right, I'll join.

Have you ever done this sort of job before?

I'm afraid I haven't.

What brought you here, then?

Well, it all started when I was recommended

to take up industrial management.

Industrial management!

All right, mate, off you get.

- Alf, call a stoppage of the truck drivers. - Right.

Brother Carter, take charge of his truck.

Don't you do nothing till your case has been gone into.

Come on, get off it!

Creep!

My dear fellow, we're living in the welfare state.

I call it the farewell state. The soldier's farewell.

Sorry, Major. Just heard there's trouble on the way. The shop stewards.

Damn it! There you are, Waters, what did I tell you?

They're on to you already.

These fellows could smell out a time and motion man in a litter of polecats.

Henry, take Waters outside and camouflage him. Come on.

- Is he in? - Good morning, Mr Kite.

Well, he's very busy, but I know he's always pleased to see you.

Will you come this way?

The works committee to see you, Major.

Come in, take a pew.

Cigarette?

After due deliberation, Major Hitchcock,

the works committee has had to call a stoppage

in response to our members' wishes.

Oh really? What precisely is the trouble?

The members feel that the agreement

negotiated with respect to time and motion study

- is being contravened. - That's impossible!

You know me. I wouldn't do anything behind the backs of the unions.

Then, perhaps, Major Hitchcock, you can explain

the presence of this new man.

New man? But he hasn't started yet.

Hasn't started yet?

Then what's he doing on a f-f-f-forklift truck?

- Who? - Windrush.

Wind... That name rings a bell. Get his particulars.

Let's be perfectly frank with each other, Major.

This man is not a genuine worker.

He's admitted as much.

And in permitting him to drive one of them trucks,

I would say the management is wilfully jeropodising

the safety of its employees.

What is more, Major, he does not hold a union card.

- Here you are, Major. - Thank you.

But you're absolutely right.

It's that damned labour exchange again.

Henry, this man must be sacked immediately.

Well now, do you see what we're up against?

Nowadays they send us anybody. Just anybody.

I must say, I'm really grateful to you chaps for drawing this matter to my attention.

I mean, after all, it is up to the unions to help us keep out the incompetents.

Er... If you do not mind, Major, we would all like to withdraw and consult.

- By all means, go ahead. - Thank you.

That was a near one.

I thought they were onto Waters.

What a shower.

I'd better get on to Crawley and tell him to pay this man off.

Yes, and at the same time, give him a rocket

for employing the twerp in the first place.

Come in!

My colleagues here have instructed me to put to you one question, Major.

Certainly, go ahead, my dear fellow.

Is it, or is it not your intention to sack this man?

Sack him, of course.

I am obliged to point out, Major, that if you sack this man,

the company is in breach of its agreement with the union.

But surely, he's not a union member.

Correct, but, that is merely technical.

But didn't you say that he was incompetent

and couldn't do his job properly?

We do not and cannot accept the principle that incompetence justifies dismissal.

That is victimisation.

- That's right. - Hear, hear!

Well, we... we seem to have been at cross purposes.

I was under the impression that it was you chaps who objected to this fellow.

That was before we was in full possession of the facts.

Well, in that case everything's absolutely splendid,

and the fellow can stay on.

Well, I think we can all congratulate ourselves

on a most productive morning's work.

We haven't had a stoppage like this for ages.

Not since the week before last.

I'm terribly sorry about it.

Ooh, you don't want to be sorry, squire.

It makes a nice little break, don't it?

- What's up now? - Dinner time. Come on, cock.

Blimey. All go today, innit?

Our chairman, as you know, is indisposed,

but he has asked me to say how much Missiles value

the placing with us of this important arms contract.

Satisfaction that is strengthened by the knowledge

that in supplying your country with arms,

Missiles are making their own special contribution to the peace of the world.

Hear, hear!

On a personal note,

I would like to pay tribute to his Excellency, Mr Mohammed here,

whose charm as a diplomat is well matched by his personal integrity.

Hear! Hear!

The success of these negotiations is entirely due to him.

- Thank you, Mr Mohammed. - Thank you.

You flatter me, Mr Tracepurcel.

I am no diplomat, I'm a simple businessman.

My dear sir, no. We're both simple businessmen.

Excuse me, sir. There's a rather urgent call.

Will you excuse me. A rather urgent call.

- Of course. - Thank you.

- Did you enjoy your lunch? - Very much, thank you!

Good!

Yes, the deal's just been signed.

Now, listen very carefully, Cox.

Leak the story to the papers right away.

By tomorrow, our shares will have trebled in value

and we'll start selling them off.

By the end of the week, we should have made a very nice tax-free killing.

And then we can go ahead with the rest of the plan.

Huh?

You don't have to worry about that.

Stanley's nicely lined up. He started work this morning.

In... Incidentally...

I've been studying His Excellency Mr Mohammed rather closely.

I think he should prove cooperative.

Yes, of course, the trouble in the world today is

that everybody is out grabbing for himself.

But in Britain it's so different.

You play the game.

Nice to hear you say that, Mr Mohammed.

It's a matter of mutual confidence, really.

And after all, every man working for Missiles knows

that we're all in the same game together.

That essentially we're all out for the same thing.

Of course, you see, it's entirely different in the Soviet Union.

There they are all working for the same thing.

It is... It is a classless society.

Here, you've got to watch 'em.

That is why the workers have to stand solid.

Yes, yes, they struck me as being pretty solid.

I must say it's very heartening having you intellectuals

coming into the working-class movement like this.

One has to do something.

True, brother, true.

I see from your particulars you was at college in Oxford.

Yes, I was.

- Yes, I was up there meself. - Really?

Yes, I was at the Balliol Summer School, 1946.

Very good toast and preserves they give you at teatime,

- as you probably know. - No, I didn't know, actually.

- Well, there's your form, brother. - Why, thank you.

Pop in on your way home and pay your dues at the branch.

Got far to go, have you?

Erm... Ooh, no, it takes me about fifty minutes.

I was wondering whether I ought to try and find rooms nearer the works.

Well, I might be able to help you there.

- Mrs Kite takes in occasionally.

Oh, well, that's very kind of you, but...

No, no, no. As a matter of fact, I'd welcome it.

I enjoy a bit of serious company and good conversation.

- Pop round and have a look at the rooms. - Well, erm...

Thank you very much, Mr Kite, but, um... Well, perhaps I could let you know.

Ooh...

Er, Dad, tell Mum I'll be in late tonight, will you?

Very well, Cynthia.

You on overtime, are you?

Don't be daft.

Going up West... dancing.

My daughter Cynthia. Works here, spindle polishing.

Really?

Quite a job.

Erm... that room you were talking about just now...

You sure it wouldn't be any trouble?

No, no, Stanley, not a bit of it.

Well, erm... perhaps I could pop round and have a look at it.

Erm... say tomorrow night?

Tomorrow night? Yes, capital, capital.

- Tomorrow night, then. - Good!

Of course, that's imperialism for you.

I mean, you call the coloured chap inferior and what have you got?

Cheap labour.

That's how the bosses make their profits while half the world's starving.

O-oh! For goodness' sake! Stop being such a' old misery!

Here! Eat this!

It's just that I don't like to see our class behaving like the Gadarene swine.

Here, you watch your language, Fred Kite, if you don't mind...

In front of Mr Windrush.

Oh! That girl with that gramophone again. She'll never stop it.

♪ ...she's my chick, boy Stand right back, I'm doing fine

♪ I'm all right, Jack, she's all mine ♪

♪ I'm all right, Jack, I'm doing fine

♪ I've got a sweet doll and she's mine, all mine

♪ All you fellows keep out, you'd better stay away

♪ She's my baby now and that's the way she'll stay... ♪

Yes, here's another good one to start off.

"Collective Childhood and Factory Manhood".

Oh! Sounds fun.

Yes. Very descriptive.

It's all about how they run factories in a workers' state.

However, I won't spoil it for you.

Have you ever been to Russia, Mr Kite?

Er ... No, not yet. The one place I'd like to go to, though.

All them cornfields and ballet in the evening.

I wish I knew as much about it as you do.

Er... you haven't read any of Lenin's work, have you?

Erm... no, I'm afraid I haven't.

That will open your eyes for you.

Is he still on about Russia?

I'll tell you straight: that's all we ever get to hear in this house.

- Have another cup of tea, Mr Windrush. - Er... no, I won't, thank you very much.

- No! - Perhaps you'd care to imbibe.

Mother. Where's that Australian burgundy we had?

- Where is it? It's in the... - No, no, really.

- Are you sure? - Absolutely certain.

Cynthia, this is Mr Windrush.

You know, the gentleman that's going to take the room.

Yes, we have met already.

- Good evening. - There's some tea for you.

No, I can't stop. I'm off now.

Well, where are you going this evening, for goodness' sake, then?

- Movies. - O-oh. - Well, I've got my car outside.

- Perhaps I couId give you a lift. - Oh, well...

That would be kind, wouldn't it, Cynthia?

Yes. Ta.

Here, you don't want to go yet, Stanley, do you?

- Erm, well, I don't, but I really ought to be getting along now, Mr Kite. - Oh.

- Bye, Mum! - Bye-bye, dear. Don't be late.

- Dad... - Well, goodbye. Thank you very much.

No, don't worry, Mrs Kite. We'll see ourselves out.

What a lovely young fellow, eh? Ain't he well mannered.

And potentially very intelligent.

Oh, yes. I don't know anything about that.

You know, Mother, it's a pity Cynthia don't read a bit.

That girl's not properly developed.

Not properly developed? Whatever on earth are you talking about?

Intellectually, I mean.

Oh, well, she's young. She wants a bit of fun.

She makes sure she gets it.

You know, I was thinking, him living here

might make a very good friend for Cynthia.

After all, he is a gentleman. You can trust his sort.

Please explain.

Well, Mr Mohammed, I'm afraid there's a distinct possibility

that Missiles will be unable to fulfil your contract.

But you're joking. The peace of the Middle East depends on it.

Ah, no, my dear fellow, I'm not joking.

Cox, perhaps you would explain to Mr Mohammed.

Well, there's an engineering concern that I happen to own.

I own the shares and Bertie owns the tax losses...

only they're not in his name, of course.

Well, erm...

we don't happen to be very busy just at the moment.

That is unfortunate, but the contract is already with Missiles.

Yes, but, then, supposing Bertie's right and they can't deliver?

You want a rush job.

Well, that's where my little company comes in.

Only, of course, it's going to cost your government a bit more.

About 100,000 pounds more.

Well, that's a nice little sum to divide between three.

Eeny,

meeny,

miny.

Ah! I see!

Between simple businessmen, Mr Mohammed, even peace is divisible.

But why should you have trouble at Missiles?

A new worker we've just taken on...

Shocking troublemaker, Mr Mohammed.

Never knows when to stop.

Stan...

Mm-hm...

Do you mind me asking you something?

Of course not.

Cross your heart.

Cross my heart.

Are them your own teeth?

Are they what?

Are them your own teeth?

Well, of course they are.

I thought they were somehow.

Only you keep them so nice and white,

it just crossed my mind they might be dentures.

Stan!

Mm-hm...

I'm so glad you're coming to live with us.

♪ Num-Yum is fruit and fun

♪ Num-Yum's the best bar none

♪ Because it's soft and milky and delicious

♪ Num-Yum! ♪

Come on, squire. What's the trouble?

The damned thing won't go.

Oh! You've done it now.

You forgot to plug in, didn't you?

I saw that last night. And when Charlie saw it, he said...

he said, "There's a bloke who'll have a flat battery in the morning," he said.

Well, if he saw the plug was out, why the devil didn't he put it in?

Demarcation, Stan.

Demarcation? What the blazes is demarcation?

Not his job. He mustn't go doing work that belongs to other people, must he?

I thought we workers were all solid together.

Squire, you need educating. He's in a different union.

He's in the Amalgamated. We're in the General.

Well, what's the point in having two unions?

Blimey, when was you born?

How would we go on for wage claims?

The Amalgamated gets a rise, so the General puts in for one.

If the General gets it, then the Amalgamated starts all over again.

So it goes on, you see, like leapfrog.

Otherwise we wouldn't none of us get a rise, would we?

I see...

I hate to mention a horrible thing like work.

Would you two mind getting your trucks out on the job?

Put it back and plug it in.

Get a spare.

Here's the box you had put in the recreation room, sir.

All right, Henry. Leave it there.

Ooh... Very good.

The dirty beast!

Major! I'm sorry, but I really cannot go on like this.

- Yes? - Your idea that I should keep out of sight

and time these men through binoculars is quite impossible.

Waters, listen to this. This is very good.

"Re that prize bloodhound with binoculars which watches us,

"we suggest you don't let him come sniffing round the workshops

"or he might lose his testimonials.

Signed, "Four Dog Lovers."

I don't find that particularly amusing.

I say, you ought to see some of the others. Sheer porner.

Still, I suppose if it weren't for this box they'd be writing all over the walls.

Hello. Hitchcock, Personnel.

Hello, sir.

Oh, of course. Yes, yes. Good show.

Henry, come in here!

What...?

Oh, leave that to me, sir. I'll lay that on.

Goodbye, sir.

Blast!

Henry. Bit of a flap on.

The deputy chairman's bringing down that bunch of darkies

we're doing this contract for.

Got to lay on the usual things.

You know, speeches in the canteen after lunch,

clean towels, little bit of soap in the toilet.

Well, go on, mush!

- By the way, he wants to see you. - Who? Me?

Yes, you must report to him directly he arrives.

Right...

I had you sent down here to do a job, Waters,

and you're simply not doing it.

But nobody will cooperate, sir, least of all Major Hitchcock.

Now listen to me, Waters.

If you want cooperation, get hold of that new man, Windrush.

He's on the trucks. He's young, keen, intelligent...

and he hasn't been corrupted. Yet.

Well, sir, I could start timing the mechanical handling if you'd like that.

Good. Well, after lunch, get down to Despatch.

I've told Crawley to have him working there.

But what about the works committee?

Eh, as you know, Waters, I'm addressing the workmen at lunchtime

and what I have to say is bound to provoke a works committee meeting.

My guess is they'll be out of the way.

- Very well, sir. Thank you very much, sir. - Get on with it.

Very nice, Bertie. Very nice indeed.

Young, keen, and intelligent. Blimey!

You'd better hop it now. I don't want the other directors to see you here.

Right. Oh! Look, in that speech of yours,

give 'em plenty of the old "working your fingers to the bone" stuff.

Oh! And don't forget all that bunk about export or die.

Export or die is no empty phrase.

If we cannot sell the things we produce, we cannot buy the things we need.

The result will be starvation.

I wonder if there's anyone here who can put his hand on his heart

and truly say,

"I am doing my best."

The greatness of this...

Turn it down, Charlie boy. There's enough wind inside.

...honesty. Hard work and a sense of duty.

An ideal which many, I'm afraid, have rather lost sight of.

To ensure this country's healthy trading intercourse with foreign markets,

we must sell at the right price.

What's he on about, Stan?

Commercial intercourse with foreigners.

...any notion of slackness,

demands greater efficiency and everyone doing an honest day's work

for a fair day's pay, for a change.

It means that we must be ready to work with our neighbours,

irrespective of whether they share our beliefs

or whether they belong to another union, or to another race.

For the success of the firm is the success of us all.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

And now get back and buckle down to your jobs.

A very excellent speech, Mr Tracepurcel.

It's so nice for me to see British democracy in action.

Well, thank you, my dear fellow.

Jolly good speech, I must say.

Creep!

Well, Hitchcock, I think my speech should have quite an effect, eh?

I should be most surprised if it didn't, sir.

- Afternoon! - Afternoon!

- Are you in charge here? - Eh, no, you want the despatch chargehand.

He should be back soon.

He's a shop steward and they've got a works committee meeting on.

Ah... Eh... Handy little machine you've got here.

Yes, they're jolly good, aren't they?

I know you'll think me an awful fool, but I'm a new boy around here.

Oh! Really? I haven't been here long myself.

Oh! Yes? What are you doing exactly?

Well, I'm shifting these generators from the stores to here for loading up.

You must find this machine saves you a lot of sweat.

Oh! It certainly does.

Pity it can't take more than one crate at a time.

- Oh, but it can. - Oh! Really?

Oh, yes.

- Would you like me to show you? - I would indeed.

Righty-oh. Now you stay here.

Mind your legs, the back swings round a bit.

That's the idea.

- There we are! - My goodness, that was quick.

Not really. I could go much faster than that if I wanted to.

- But not with two, surely? - More than two. Three. Four, if you like.

- Oh, that's impossible. - All right, I'll show you.

I say... Are you sure I'm not keeping you from your work?

Oh, no, no, no!

Wouldn't like to get you into trouble, or anything.

- Especially as you're new here. - Not at all. I'm learning a lot.

Oh, good! Right! Watch this!

Don't want to get you into trouble.

Brothers, it means trouble. You all heard what was said in his speech?

- We did, Brother Chair. - We did, Fred.

I have no hesitation in categorically delineating it

as being barefaced provocative of the workers.

Hear, hear!

On a point of order, Brother Chair, I would say we was left with no option.

Exactly, brother.

Up to now we've been bending over backwards

trying to be helpful to the management, but the cooperation's been all one-sided.

You're right. They f-f-f-f-fight us on every issue.

Correct. Now, if I am to ascertain the sense of this meeting,

from now on no concessions.

Every man in this factory's got quite enough on his plate as it is

without having any more piled on.

There we are. Dead easy.

Splendid! Absolutely first rate.

I shall want them put into effect immediately.

Certainly, sir.

Actually, nobody told me the shop stewards

- had agreed to the re-timings of the job. - They haven't.

Well, sir, with all due respect, these figures are absolutely worthless.

- Why? - Why? Waters knows as well as I do

that you must actually time a man on the job.

A man was timed.

A man was? How? Who?

Quite an inexperienced operator.

- I'm surprised to hear that. - New man, sir. Name's Windrush.

Windrush? Windrush.

Look, sir, I... I don't want to be a Jeremiah,

but most of these figures are absolute science fiction, sir.

There's no fiction about those figures, Major.

In point of fact, Windrush's rate of work is much higher.

Yes, but he's a new man.

He hasn't got used to the natural rhythm of the other workers.

What you call their natural rhythm of work is neither natural, rhythmic

or anything very much to do with work.

I agree.

Oh, absolutely, sir.

Right, take 'em away and get on with it.

This is just the sort of thing I had in mind when I decided to have you down here.

- Keep it up! - Thank you, sir. I'll do my best.

Before long we'll really have things moving in this place.

Er...

- Slice of cake? - What? Turn you stone deaf.

Last week I was skint, then I had three cross doubles, and all of them came up.

No... Turn it up!

The boys will get the impression you're creeping.

Sorry!

Here you are, squire, a nice cup of gnats'.

- Here... - No, go on, have this one on me.

Otherwise we'll have old Kitey chasing you for the rent at the weekend.

There you are, look. Told you. He's come to collect.

Fall in, the Church Lads' Brigade. Come on.

Thank you, brother.

Right, brothers, are we all gathered?

My purpose in convening you is to lay before you certain facts.

A few minutes ago, I was handed this paper

by a representative of the management.

It purports to contain certain timings made by the management,

which directly affect the rates for the job that you are doing.

Now, this is the first time that this has been mooted to the works committee,

and everything about it constitutes quite definitely, quite definitely...

a definite breach of the existing agreements

that exist between management and unions.

- A diabolical liberty. - Hear, hear!

How could they have retimed the job without any one of us knowing?

Correct, brother.

And that brings me to a point

that has led us to take a particularly grave view of the matter in hand.

My information is that one of our members did, in fact,

cooperate with the management.

Brother Windrush. I am obliged to put to you an open question.

Did you or did you not, in fact, collaborate with the management?

Me? Collaborate? What do you mean?

Was you on loadings yesterday afternoon?

Yes.

Brother Jackson, you're in charge of loadings. Where was you?

Between the hours referred to I was at a shop stewards' meeting.

So, you were there alone, brother.

Yes, I was. Except for the other chap.

The other chap!

I think you ought to know, brothers, that this so-called other chap

was, in point of fact, the new time and motion man.

- That's torn it. - That's handy.

What, old Soapy?

Brother Windrush, perhaps you'd care to make a statement about that.

I'm terribly sorry, but he didn't tell me that.

He just said that he was new here.

You must be dead stupid. Of course he wasn't going to tell you.

It was just that he was so interested in the truck.

Well, all he's interested in is more work for less money.

But I wasn't working particularly hard,

and I got the job done in half the time.

Well, at that rate, you'd only need half the drivers.

You want your head seen to.

It's all right for you, matey, but we need the money.

So do I. In fact, I could do with a bit more.

Huh. You're going the right bleeding way about getting it. No mistake.

- You s-s-s-silly c-c-c-c-clot. - Hear, hear!

You can say that again.

Order, brothers, order.

Windrush, your case will come up tonight before the branch for consideration.

Well, I would like to make it clear that I was not working hard.

Just quicker!

Looking at those schedules here, I'd say you was working like a ruddy black.

'Ere... that's it.

You all heard what was said in the speech about working with coloured labour.

The next thing you know, we'll have the blacks here

doing our jobs like they do on the buses in Birmingham.

- Dirty rotten trick! - Typical!

What are you going to do, Kitey? Call the drivers out?

Call the drivers out? I tell you, brothers, everybody's coming out.

Hear, hear!

Hey, you! You're in the loading bay, aren't you?

- Has that fellow Windrush gone yet? - Try the car park.

He's got one of them bubble cars.

Is your name...? Good lord, it is.

Of course I know you.

That's right, I served under you in the army.

- How are you, sir? - I might have known it.

You were damn bolshie in the army, and now you're trying the same thing here.

But sir, what do you mean?

What do I mean?

Don't come the innocent with me, Windrush.

You haven't been here more than five minutes, and the whole place is on strike.

- But sir... - You're a positive shower.

A stinker of the first order.

I'm frightfully sorry, sir, but I'm going to have to leave.

Ow!

- Here, come on. We're on strike. - Who said so?

- Old Kitey has just passed a motion. - Since when, man?

Half an hour ago. Come on!

Here, come on, pack it in. There's no point us working for nothing, is there?

Well, here's to the solidarity of the workers.

Long may they remain united.

I think we can be pretty sure that the workers won't give in.

The only thing is that my fellow directors may not approve of the stand I've taken.

And if they do not?

Then I might have to withdraw the schedules,

and the strike would collapse.

But it must not collapse.

I have to have time to get permission to transfer the contract

to my friend Mr Cox here.

Well, how long would you like, Mr Mohammed?

Four or five days. At least.

Oh, I daresay I could manage that.

Do you know, Bertie, I...

I think perhaps we ought to call the newspapers in on this.

I can't help feeling there's a nice, warm, human story here somewhere.

You haven't finished. Come on, Stanley,

you can't stop eating just because you're not working, you know?

- My dear boy! - I say, Mr Kite's quite late, isn't he?

Soppy branch meetings. Jaw, jaw, jaw.

I don't know what they find to talk about.

They're talking about me, I think! Considering my case.

Ah, daft lot!

Ah, there he is now.

Come on, Dad!

Tea's waiting.

Stanley and Cynthia's practically finished theirs.

Good evening, Mother.

Good evening, Mr Kite.

Communication addressed to you from the branch committee.

- Good evening, Cynthia. - Dad...

"Disassociation"? What's that?

You have been sent to Coventry.

You mean... nobody will talk to me for a month?

That is correct, yes.

Does that mean that you're not even allowed to talk to me, Mr Kite?

Only to inform you of the nature of the branch committee's decision,

democratically arrived at.

Demok... but I wasn't there, Mr Kite!

Utterly unnecessary. We was in full possession of all the facts.

So, you've all come out again, eh?

Jolly good job the wives don't go out on strike.

- You washed your hands? - They're clean enough, Mother.

Yes, well, I hope they are.

Here, who can that be?

- Yes? - Good evening. Is this Mr Kite's house?

- Yes. - We're from the press.

From the press. Would you wait one moment, please?

Dad!

Dad!-

- It's the newspapers. - What?

- There's a crowd of reporters outside. - Ah! That'll be about the strike.

No doubt they want a statement from me.

I wouldn't go getting myself in the newspapers if I were you.

Don't be silly, Mother. When you're in the public eye,

you must expect that sort of thing.

Let them in.

I must ask all those present to retire while I hold a press conference.

Press conference? Huh? Who do you think you are? Diana Dors?

- Will you come in, please? - Good evening.

- Good evening. - Good evening, friends.

- Good evening. - Please be seated.

- Mr Kite? - That is correct, friend, yes.

I think I know what you've all come about,

so if you'd care to take the seats available,

I'm quite prepared to get down to the facts of the case.

Now, the situation as I see it is this:

- It has always been the union's... - Mr Kite...

Could we interrupt you just for a moment?

Certainly, friend. Certainly.

We understand you have a Mr Windrush lodging with you.

That is so, yes.

Could we see him, do you think, Mr Kite?

See him?

Well, I do not know.

Is he in?

Yes, he's in...

but it may not be convenient.

Would you mind asking him?

Mother!

Mr Kite, this strike at Missiles.

I believe you're chief shop steward, aren't you?

I am... for my sins.

Then it was you who brought the men out?

Technically that might appear so.

However, a motion was put and passed democratically, and if I might...

How many strikes have you called in the last year, Mr Kite?

Now, now. I do not regard that question as being revelant to the immediate issues.

Are you a member of any political party, Mr Kite?

Friend, my politics are a matter

between my conscience and the ballot box.

Well, are you a Conservative, then?

Look here, friend, the interests of the working classes

are historically and diametrically opposed to those vested interests

which lay behind the party you have mentioned.

What is more, and again...

Do you mind if we ask you some questions, Mr Windrush?

No, not at all. Of course.

This strike at Missiles, Mr Windrush. We're told you started it.

- Yes, I'm afraid I did. - By working too hard.

Well, I wouldn't say that.

But you did work a lot harder than the others?

Well... not harder, really. Perhaps a bit quicker.

What are your mates going to say about this?

I'm not quite sure, really.

You see, they're not allowed to speak to me.

- Why not? - Well, I've been sent to Coventry.

Sent to Coventry for working hard?

I suppose so. I'm not quite sure, really.

These mates of yours. How do you feel about them?

Oh, they're first-class chaps.

No hard feelings?

Good Lord, no.

But don't you want to get back to work?

Yes, I do, I...

- I need the money. - But the union's stopping you?

Yes, well...

It's not really as simple as all that, really.

You see, there's the negotiated agreement,

and then there's also the question of the black men.

Black men? How do they come into it?

Well, I must admit I don't really understand that myself.

But I'm sure Mr Kite could explain it for you.

Would it be fair to say, Mr Windrush,

that your whole object is to help get this big export order completed

- as quickly as possible? - Oh, absolutely.

I think we all realise that if we can't export, we shall die of starvation.

And I mean, we must produce the goods

- at the right price, mustn't we? - Do forgive me, Mr Windrush,

but I'm most anxious to get the human angle on this sort of problem.

Are you the only person living here with Mr and Mrs Kite?

Erm... Yes, that's right. I mean, apart from their daughter Cynthia.

- Oh! And what is she doing? - She's at the factory, too.

Really? Mm...

Then you must be seeing quite a lot of each other?

Yes, well... It's really getting awfully late, now and I...

Mr Kite hasn't had his supper yet.

- Thank you very much. - Before we go, Mr Windrush,

could we have a picture of you with Mrs Kite and her daughter?

Just over here, Mr Windrush. Next to Mrs Kite!

You don't want to photograph me!

What do you want to photograph me for?

Give us a chance to get my apron off, then.

Let's make it a little more friendly.

Put your arms round them, Mr Windrush.

That's it.

Now, Miss Kite, if you'll just look up at Mr Windrush and...

smile.

Thank you.

"- Salute Stanley Windrush. - Why?

"Because this man did in one hour what his workmates did in several.

"What did his union do?

"They sent him to Coventry.

"Was he working too hard?

"No! He was working more efficientry... efficiently.

"What a reward! Does he forgive them?

"Yes, he does.

"'They are first class chaps,' he says.

"Here is an example to us all.

"The management must back this man."

There. Lord Beaverbrook write that.

I should never have allowed him to be interviewed.

They was bound to use him as a tool to whitewash the bosses.

This is a stunt of the management's.

Look at this, Mum.

"The Sketch" says... if Stan was working in Russia

he'd be made a hero of the Soviet Union.

Ooh, you've come out lovely in this one, Cyn.

I must say, they do look nice together, Dad.

Look at Stan in this one.

He looks just like Frankie Sinatra. Innit marvellous!

Beats me how you can sit there reading that muck!

I don't know about muck.

You have sent him into Coventry, haven't you?

I notice they don't say, "Salute Fred Kite."

Your press conference didn't do you much good, did it?

Don't be rude to your father now.

- Well, I'd better be off. - Thought you said you wasn't working?

I can't stay here arguing. I've got a lot to do.

Report to the executives, check up on the pickets.

From what I can see, the only time you ever jolly well do any work's

when you're on strike.

- There he is! - Ah...

Mind your backs, please.

Any further developments, Mr Kite? Care to make a statement?

Any news?

I have only one thing to say to you lot.

This strike is going to be one hundred per cent solid.

Apart from that, I have no comment.

Excuse me. Stand back, please. Stand back.

Keep a look-out for Master Stanley's car, Truscott.

I imagine the house must be somewhere near here.

Very good, Your Ladyship.

Would you mind coming out this side, madam?

Yes, I think I'd better.

Whatever is going on here?

Oh, good morning. Is my nephew at home?

- Nephew? - Mr Windrush.

Who? Stan?

Yes, er... Stanley.

Oh! Mum, it's Stan's auntie.

Auntie?

- Will you come in, then, please? - Oh, thank you.

I've told Stanley you're here.

- He's just dressing. - Oh, thank you.

Cynthia, you go and get dressed, too, for goodness' sake.

Ooh.. All right, Mum.

- See you later. - Yes, er... yes.

I'm ever so sorry.

It's all my fault. I told Stan he could have a lie-in this morning.

- Seeing he wasn't working. - I see.

Do please sit down, won't you? I'll make you a cup of tea.

No, I won't have any tea, thank you.

It's not a bit of trouble. The kettle's on for Stanley anyway.

You're very kind, but no, thank you.

I must say, we do love having your nephew here.

Yes, he's a nice boy.

Oh, yes. He's so considerate and so polite.

I'm very glad to hear that.

Nowadays, manners do seem to have changed, don't they?

You're telling me. It's not only manners changed.

Sometimes I think the whole world's changed.

- It has indeed. - That's what I say.

I was saying to Mr Kite the other day,

I say, it's all very well your saying, 'Change this, change that'...

Wotcha gonna be left with?

- Perhaps I will sit down. - Yes, of course. That's the ticket.

That's right.

- You make yourself comfortable. - Thank you.

And I'm going to make you a nice cup of tea.

Thank you very much.

Young Stanley's side of the family haven't got two ha'pennies to rub together.

Still, I suppose she looks after them all right?

She looks after her money. That's about all she looks after.

Mind you, I dare say young Stanley will come in for a bit when she goes upstairs.

I know Stanley now calls himself a worker,

but I'm most anxious that he shouldn't be disloyal.

Oh, definitely. How do you like your tea?

Oh, strong. And no sugar, please.

After all, family ties count for something.

No one's entitled to forget the principles of his upbringing.

Oh, quite.

You see... it's quite unthinkable that a gentleman should go on strike.

I mean, officers don't mutiny, do they?

No, they don't. I see what you mean.

Thank you. Well, that's what I've come to tell Stanley.

Now, come on!

Don't know what that lot suddenly turned up for.

They won't see nothing. This strike's solid.

Why don't you tell them to... ph-ph-...

photograph something worthwhile?

Hello, what's he come here for?

You shouldn't be up here, Stanley, you're in Coventry.

Anyway, you don't want this lot picking on you again, do you?

Well, of course I don't.

But the fact is, Mr Kite,

I've decided to go back to work.

You've what?

Well, it may be difficult for you to understand this, but...

well, it's a simple matter of loyalty, really.

I should think it is a simple matter of loyalty!

You see, I can't let my family down.

I mean, Uncle expects it of me.

Uncle? What's your uncle got to do with it?

Well, actually he's Mr Tracepurcel.

Though he did ask me not to tell you.

I should bloody well think he did.

Well, of course I might have known.

Huh! Blind! I've been blind. I might have known.

An agent provocator, that's what you are.

- No, no, Mr Kite. - You whited sepulchre, you!

Talked your way into the union, wormed your way into my house,

and all the time you was a... you was a fifth column in our midst.

I didn't mean to upset you like this, Mr Kite.

Do you mind if I drive on into the factory?

- Oh, no, you don't! - Come on.

Fascists!

All right, go on in, if you're going.

You filthy traitor, Windrush.

Judas!

...and everything else.

Blackleg.

Nice thing...

And me chief shop steward.

Made me a laughing stock.

It's not right.

I'm easy enough, but...

but there are limits.

Ooh... home at last!

My feet are killing me.

Don't know why they can't run more buses.

Ooh... what a journey.

Edie sends her love to you.

- Yes, dear, that's right. - Put them down there for the moment.

Have you got that present for Stanley there, Mum?

Here it is, dear.

Stan not had his supper yet?

- No. - Why? Isn't he in?

No. I put the kettle on for you, Mother.

- Mum, shall I put it on his plate? - Yes, dear, all right.

When will Stanley be back?

- He is back. - What do you mean, "He is back"?

He's back where he belongs.

'Ere, just a moment.

What exactly do you mean by that?

- He's packed up and gone. - Gone where?

I had no choice, Mother. You see, he's a blackleg.

You threw him out?

Don't cry like that, darling.

Don't upset yourself, Cynthia.

You see what you've done, don't you?

What am I going to do with these suspenders?

I could tell you.

It's so unfair.

He's got no thought for others.

Now he's ruined my whole life.

I hope you're satisfied, Fred Kite.

Look, Mother. It was democratically arrived at.

I mean, I am chairman of the works committee...

Oh, yes, you're chairman of the works committee, all right.

Don't we all know it.

Sick to death of you and your works committee.

Union this, union that, and your blasted Soviet Union.

- There is a strike on, Mother. - You're telling me there's a strike on.

I'll tell you something else.

The strike's spread. To this house, from now on.

Cynthia, get our bags packed.

We're going back to Auntie Edie's.

Two can play at this game, you know.

You wanted a strike, you've got one.

Perhaps when you feel like going back to work, I will.

And here's something else I'm going to tell you.

Here's another strike that's 100% solid.

'This is the BBC Home Service.

'Here is the 9am news for today, Thursday, March 10th.'

The Transberberite Embassy has announced

that its government has cancelled

its one and three quarter million pound contract with Missiles Ltd.

in view of the strike there, now in its fifth day.

Their spokesman Mr Mohammed revealed

that the contract had been re-allocated to another British firm,

'Union Jack Foundries Ltd. of Clapton.

'The Managing Director of Union Jack, Mr Sidney De Vere Cox,

'said last night,

"'Missiles have my sympathy in their present troubles,

"'but I naturally rejoice

"'that this valuable export order will not been lost to the Old Country."'

How far is it, Mr Cox?

Oh, we'll be there in 20 minutes.

What a damn fine morning, Mr Cox.

Couldn't be better, old man. It's in the bag.

To quote your English proverb,

we seem to have the bird by the bush in the hand.

Well, here we are.

- 'Ere! Where do you think you're going? - On strike, guv!

On strike? What are you on strike for?

In sympathy with Missiles.

Sympathy? What about a bit of sympathy for me?

- Excuse me, Mr Cox... - Ah, shut up!

'Industrial crisis provides a challenge to a free society.

'But at such a time the nation remains calm.

'Calm because it knows it can be certain of leadership.

'Leadership that is bold, tolerant, yet decisive.'

I see great principles at stake here.

As Minister of Labour, you can be sure that I shall act.

You can also be sure that I shall not interfere,

that is with those great principles which I deem to be at stake.

The Trade Union Congress has deliberated,

and on behalf of my colleagues

I can say that we are not prepared either to endorse the strike officially

nor to condemn it.

All unions being autonomous are free to make their own decisions.

For the time being, the General Council calls upon employers

to exercise restraint and to avoid provocation.

'But behind the official pronouncements,

'other vital forces are at work.

'The traditional respect of the British for the individual,

'allied to a rare genius for compromise and the unorthodox approach.'

Why don't we just buy him off?

No, De Vere. It's too risky.

What's he like, this fellow Kite?

Absolute shocker. Sort of chap that sleeps in his vest.

Looks very much as if we shall have to climb down.

Do you think the time's ripe, sir? They're hardly feeling the pinch yet.

Well, I bloody am. My men are out too, you know.

Next thing I'll lose the contract.

That's true, Hitchcock.

The nation's interests must come first.

Look, all you've got to do is to go back to the old schedules

and sack this ... berk Windrush.

No, no, Cox. We can't sack him.

Not just like that, I mean. Not while he has the press behind him.

All right, then.

But will somebody please go and find out just what this geezer Kite will settle for.

Hitchcock, you'll have to go and see Kite.

- Huh! - Oh! ...

Hello, Kite.

I thought for a moment you might be out on a spree.

And what might you want?

I hope I haven't called at an inconvenient time.

You might have.

Mr Kite, I wonder if I could have a word with you.

I daresay you could. Yes.

What a charming little place you have here.

How's the lady wife and daughter?

- They're away on a bit of a holiday. - Really?

Oh, I suppose they're finding it difficult to get back, with the strike on.

I daresay they are.

Mr Kite, I really came round to see if I could help you settle this strike.

- Help? - Of course!

My dear fellow, you know me. I'm on your side in this.

If they'd listened to me in the first place, there wouldn't have been a strike.

- Yes, well, I never wanted it. - Exactly.

The directors behaved like absolute shockers...

looking pretty damn silly now, eh?

Hm! Typical! Typical!

The point is, from now on they're more likely to listen to what I say.

I see.

Er... perhaps you'd care to sit down, Major?

Thank you.

Do you imbibe?

- What a perfectly splendid idea. - Good.

Well, to kick off,

supposing I could get them to consider dropping these new timings?

No, no. Sorry, Major, it wouldn't work.

They would have to admit that these timings was unworkable.

Mind you, to be helpful, I would agree to the job being retimed.

Only ... only properly under the supervision of the works committee.

I see. That's very reasonable.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

You appreciate of course that Windrush would have to go.

Of course he will.

Now, you agree to get the men back to work,

and I guarantee to sack Windrush the moment all this blows over.

No, no, no, Major, it wouldn't work, no.

None of my members would come back with him still working there.

That is a snag, isn't it?

- Perhaps you'd like a refill, Major? - Huh?

If you're twisting my arm...

Thank you.

Windrush is the real problem.

How do we get rid of the shower and avoid a public stink?

You know, I shall never be able to answer all these, Aunt Dolly.

Of course not, dear.

You'll have to put an acknowledgement in the personal column of the "Times".

Good Lord, Spencer, what have you got there this time?

Another present for you, Master Stanley, just arrived.

Oh, don't bring any more of them in here, Spencer.

- There really isn't room. - Very well.

And tell Truscott to take all the flowers to the hospital in the morning.

Very well, ma'am.

"With gratitude for your fight against the rising cost of living,

"this gift comes to you from five Cheltenham ladies

"living on fixed incomes."

How very kind, Stanley.

Jolly kind indeed, Aunt.

Just listen to all that cheer! (We want Stanley!)

How long have they been there, Aunt Dolly?

Hours, dear.

What a nation we British are once we're stirred.

♪ ...who are born of thee

♪ Wider still and wider... ♪

And the children of Babylon are destroyed

and become an abomination in the eyes of lasciviousness.

Three cheers for Mr Churchill and Stanley Windrush.

Hip hip hurray!

We want Stanley!

What can you do with women?

Thank you.

Say, you do appreciate my position, don't you?

I mean, you do appreciate it?

Yes, I appreciate to a degree,

but why have the stinker here in the first place?

Well...

There you are. Not exactly invisible mending,

but it will keep the draught out.

Takes you time to find out who your friends are, don't it?

Of course I've been betrayed.

We've all been betrayed, old chap.

Do you think she'll come back?

Mine didn't. Thank God! H'm.

I don't know, I don't know.

I mean, I've always given her the best I could provide.

She's always fit and well.

I mean, it ain't as if she was overworked.

You see, I...

'Ere! That's it!

That's it. Overworked.

- Yeah? - Yes.

Ill health brought on by overwork.

I thought you said she was in tip-top condition.

Ha, no, not her, Windrush.

That is how we get rid of him.

He resigns on account of ill health brought on by overwork.

Kite, that's absolutely bang on.

Ill health brought on by trying to work the new schedules.

Yes!

The best of British luck.

Do you think he can he be made to do it?

You trust his Uncle Bertie. He'll do as he's told.

But I'm perfectly fit, Uncle.

Yes, yes, I know you're perfectly fit.

This is just a formula, used every day. Army politics... whatever you like.

I do wish you'd stop worrying about me, Uncle.

Resignation would be far too easy a way out.

What you've done has been wonderful,

and there's no question of my letting you down now.

That's very nice of you, Stanley. I appreciate it, but...

No, no, Uncle. I wouldn't dream of it.

You've already sacrificed that contract.

I'm not gonna have you sacrifice your principles as well, just because of me.

Don't be such a damned fool, Stanley. To hell with my principles!

Ah! The two heroes of the hour.

They're still calling for you, Stanley. You simply must show yourself.

- Really, Aunt Dolly, must I? - Indeed, you must!

And you too, Bertie. Come along.

Quiet, fellers, quiet!

Tonight at eight-thirty, we are presenting once again

our popular discussion programme "Argument",

and the subject this evening is the present industrial strike.

The producers have arranged

for some of the leading personalities connected with the strike

to appear in the programme.

So you will hear a spokesman for the management,

for the shop stewards,

and of course Mr Stanley Windrush who was the cause of the strike.

The chairman will be Malcolm Muggeridge,

so don't forget to look in at eight-thirty.

If you'd like to hang your things in here, then come up to the make-up room.

It's just down the corridor. The others are already there.

Thank you very much.

That's right, Stan.

- It's yours. - Coxie...

What on earth are you doing here?

That's your cut. A little idea of mine.

My cut?

Well, you didn't think we was going to leave you out, did you?

Only of course, you've got to do what your uncle says.

What on earth are you talking about?

Resign, on grounds of ill health.

Now, I've already had all this out with Uncle.

Now, look at me, old Stan.

This is a bit delicate.

I daresay your Uncle Bertie wouldn't like me telling you all this,

but if you don't resign, the strike goes on.

And we all lose a hundred thousand smackers!

Who's "we"?

Well, there's me, your Uncle Bertie and that black fellow Mohammed.

This is absolute nonsense.

Uncle's firm's already lost the contract.

Well, yes, in a way.

To me... Union Jack Foundries.

You see what it is. It's business.

High finance and that...

Are you suggesting Uncle Bertram stirred up all this trouble deliberately?

That's right. With your help, don't forget.

Only, it's got to stop now, or it's no good.

I'm going crazy!

I'd have thought if you wanted to stop the strike,

you would have been talking to Mr Kite.

We have, Stan. Very amicable, too.

It was him who suggested the ill-health lark.

- There you are, Mr Kite. - Thank you, Miss.

Ask the girl to go and see what's happened to Mr Windrush.

I know you won't say nothing,

because if you do, well, I mean, your Uncle Bertie will go inside for a few years.

Kill your Aunt Dolly, that would.

Anyway, I prefer to be honest, put my cards on the table.

Quite a change for you.

Yes, well, you take my advice, Stan.

When it's your turn on the old telly,

get up quietly and tell them you want to resign.

Right?

Ta-ta!

Make-up's waiting for you, Mr Windrush.

Mr Windrush!

They're waiting for you.

Yes, of course!

'On the air in five seconds.

'Quiet, everybody!

'Four... three... two... one.'

"Argument". The programme that puts you in the picture.

Good evening.

The subject on everyone's mind today is unquestionably the strike.

'Now, some people think that the national economy

'is being endangered by the irresponsible...'

'Ere! Turn it up, will you?

Other people take the view that the living standards of the workers

have been viciously attacked by the employers,

who in any case are in breach of contract.

We've got in the studio four people intimately concerned

in the development of this unhappy situation.

On my right is His Excellency, Mr Mahommed.

And next to him, Mr Tracepurcel.

Then, on my left, Mr Kite.

And next to him, Mr Windrush.

Before turning these gentlemen over to the studio audience for questioning,

I'm going to ask each of them to make a brief individual statement.

And I'm going to begin with Mr Kite.

Now, Mr Kite, as Chairman of the works committee at Missiles,

where do you stand?

Um... oh, yes.

Um, the situation is quite straightforward.

As trades unionists, we have always been concerned with...

for efficiency and for the individual worker.

And it is...

It is for that reason

that we oppose the attempt of the management

to overwork the man on the job.

Hear, hear!

It is for that reason that we oppose the introduction of blackleg labour.

Hear, hear!

And it is for that same reason...

It is for that same reason that we oppose...

Erm...

That reason we oppose...

Hear, hear!

Thank you, Mr Kite.

You've made the point, I think.

Now I'm going to call on Mr Windrush,

who, as a worker at Missiles,

might perhaps be described as the odd man in.

And now, Mr Windrush, what have you got to say?

Eh, Mr Windrush?

I'm going to find it pretty difficult to say what I want to say in a few words.

In fact, I'm only now just beginning to catch on.

As my friend Knowles would have said,

I must have been dead stupid.

I've swallowed everything they have given me to swallow.

Everything!

All the phoney patriotic claptrap of the employers.

All the bilge I've heard talked about workers' rights

until my head's reeling with the stink of it all.

The trouble is, everybody's got so used to the smell, they no longer notice it.

Furthermore, they're deaf, too.

So deaf they can't even hear the fiddles.

In fact, they don't want to.

Wherever you look, it's a case of "Blow you, Jack, I'm all right".

On a point of order, Mr Chairman...

I might have known you'd have a point of order.

Hey, this is going to be a beaut...

This meeting has got to follow the rules of proper procedure...

- Oh, shut up, Fred! - Mum!

We all know your proper procedure.

Hang a chap without giving him a hearing. Is that what they do in the Soviet Union, hey, Kitey?

I protest. My politics is a matter between my conscience

- and the ballot box. - Your politics?

"To each according to his needs,

"from each as little as he can get away with,

"and no overtime except on Sundays at double the rate."

That's a damn fine way to build a new Jerusalem.

Mr Chairman, I do think that we all ought to try and deal with each other fairly.

Don't you fall for that soft soap, Mr Muggeridge.

When a deal's fair for Uncle Bertie,

you can bet your life it's a wet and windy one for the rest of us.

Sit down, Stanley, you're making a fool of yourself.

When you talk of "country",

You're waving a great big Union Jack,

so nobody can see what you're up to behind it.

What does the idiot think he's doing?

- What the devil are you playing at? - Not your little game, Uncle Bertie.

'You've cheated everyone, even Aunt Dolly.'

- 'You leave my mother out of this!' - 'Pon my soul!

'You're a bounder, Uncle Bertie,

'a streamlined, chromium-plated, old-fashioned bounder.'

- You cad! - You humbug!

- You traitor! - You twister!

- Snake! - Skunk!

Gentlemen! Gentlemen, please...

- What we want to get at are the facts. - The facts?

I've got the facts over here.

Here they are. Hundreds of them.

These are the only facts that interest anybody in this dispute.

This is what they all want. This is all they want.

Something for nothing.

Camera three onto Muriel!

We're sorry to have to leave "Argument" at this point,

but an unexpected technical hitch has developed which is beyond our control.

'We expect to resume normal services shortly.'

Blimey! Ain't it marvellous?

Just when they was getting nicely warmed up. Ain't it marvellous?

Brothers, please! Brothers!

Use your self-control!

Give me that! That's mine!

This is the sort of conduct society can never... will never tolerate.

You wilfully instigated these disorderly scenes,

and in the course of doing so, you saw fit

to make a wicked and slanderous attack upon the integrity of your employer,

a man surely entitled to your gratitude and loyalty.

Not content with this,

you impugned the motives and actions of your fellow workers

in the person of their representative, Mr Kite.

He offered you comradeship, and he gave you shelter.

His reward has been your treachery and spite.

Will that lady kindly compose herself or leave the court?

- Shut up, will you? - Fred!

- You shut up, too! - Fred!

In the face of these outrages,

your victims behaved with remarkable generosity.

Rather than testify against you,

Mr Mohammed has invoked his diplomatic immunity.

Mr Tracepurcel and Mr Kite were both emphatic in their plea

that your behaviour could only be explained by ill health,

brought on by overwork.

In the circumstances, l am prepared to accept

that your conduct was in part due to a mental instability.

Provided that you immediately seek medical aid,

you'll be bound over to keep the peace for the period of one year.

Oh, good shot, Major!

- Glorious world to be alive in. - Mm...

- Peaceful here, isn't it? - Yes, I suppose it is.

Rather a contrast to all the undignified rushing and grabbing

- that goes on outside, eh, Stanley? - Yes, Father.

We've turned our back on all that kind of vulgarity.

We're only interested in the simple things

that mankind has always been after.

Yoo-hoo! Mr Windrush?

- Is that your son with you? - Yes, do you want him?

Oh, goodie!

Stanley, would you like to come and play with us?

We're going to have a tournament. Knockout, you know...

Thanks, but I don't think I'm really quite up to it.

Nonsense, Stanley, a young fellow like you?

Oh, go on, be a sport.

- I bet you're jolly good. - Oh, come on, Stanley!

None of us are terribly hot, you know.

- I wouldn't be any good, honestly. - Rubbish!

He's only just being modest.

Come on, ladies, come and make him play.

Oh, no!

No! Father!

♪ I'm all right, Jack, I'm OK

♪ That is the message for today

♪ So count up your lolly, feather your nest

♪ Let someone else worry, boy, I couldn't care less

♪ You scratch my back

♪ I'll do the same for you, Jack

♪ That's the message for today

♪ Well, we're all united 100%

♪ Yeah, we're all solid like cement

♪ Hear the happy voices shout out

♪ One out, all out!

♪ Blow you, Jack, I'm all right

♪ Yeah, the workers and the bosses, a sweet duet

♪ Share the gains and the losses Huh, you bet!

♪ Well, everybody's comrades now

♪ Like Cain and Abel we're all brothers, and how!

♪ They talk about Utopia, don't let 'em soft-soap yer!

♪ Grab you whack, brother, hold on tight

♪ Blow you, Jack (Corrections by: vipo - Leningrad-Gush Dan, 2015)

♪ I'm all right ♪ (Corrections by: vipo - Leningrad-Gush Dan, 2015)