All language subtitles for Bobs Burgers - 09x11 - Lorenzos Oil No Lindas.en

... Synced and corrected by ChrisKe ...
... www.addic7ed.com ...

- You guys smell that?
- I said, "Excuse me."

- No, you didn't.
- Not that.

Something different.
It's a familiar smell

but also somehow exotic.

Like going to a mall
in a different town.

Oh, you're probably
smelling my smelly mom.

- Hey!
- She's been wearing "essential oils."

Oh, yeah, the rosemary oil.

She bought them from
her new friend, Angie.

- Her hot new friend, Angie.
- What? Mom's way hotter.

Hotter than
Angie? Are you nuts?

I mean, thank you, but you're nuts.

Mm, new friend. That's
nice. How'd you guys meet?

At the grocery store in
the toilet paper aisle.

We bonded 'cause we buy the same brand.

And then what, she said, uh,

"You know what goes good
with toilet paper? Oils."

Kinda, yeah. It's, like,
a hobby or something.

She's bringing some more
over for me to try today.

I can't wait. They're
cheap and I love 'em.

- Like Dad.
- Gene.

She's young and she's fun,

and I like saying, "Hey,
Ange!" when I see her.

Oh, there she is! Hey, Ange!

- That is fun.
- Eh. - Fun enough.

- No.
- Hey, Linda.

- Linda smells great. I'm Teddy.
- Easy, Teddy, easy.

Ange, that rosemary oil is amazing!

My digestion is better,
and I'm crazy relaxed.

Right, kids? Right?

Yeah. She just poops and sleeps, Angie.

Oh, I knew you'd like it.

Here's that geranium oil

- I was telling you about.
- Ooh. Yeah.

It's calming and relaxing
like the rosemary,

but this one also gives
you healthier hair and skin.

Not that you need to worry about that.

- Oh, you. Stop it.
- I want to buy some.

- What else do you have in there?
- Well, this is clary sage,

which is good for ovulation.

- I'll take it!
- Oh. It's for ovulation.

Don't talk yourself out of a sale.

Okay. Hey, I'm having an
essential oil party tonight.

Either of you want to swing by?

An oil party? What's that? What is that?

Oh, it's really low-key. We
have hors d'oeuvres and wine

-and people checking out different oils.
- Sounds great.

Oh! You had me at
hors d'oeuvres, wine and oils.

Well, Teddy and I were
supposed to help Mr. Huggins

- move a bed tonight.
- Oh, right,

I was gonna stay home with the kids.

- Crap! That's tonight?
- Yeah.

But it shouldn't take any time. I hope.

Because that's why I agreed to do it.

Well, it's from 6:00 to
8:00. Come if you can.

- Here's my address.
- Oh, that's early. I can go.

3456th Street. Oh, what a fun address.

It really is.

Okay. See you later. Bye, guys.

- Bye, Ange!
- Bye, Ange! We'll see ya later!

Take it easy.

She's amazing. Did I play it cool?

No. I could hear you
breathing the whole time.

- Yeah...
- Like, heavily breathing.

So, looks like a
fun night with the sibs.

No parents, no rules!

Yes rules. Tina's gonna
babysit. Right, Tina?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Okay.

Hey, guys,

with Mom and Dad out of the house

I have a surprise for tonight.

- You're... going to bed early?
- Is it a meringue?

It's the jigsaw puzzle
Grandma gave us for Christmas.

Ugh. A jigsaw puzzle of the Big Dipper?

- It's impossible!
- She gave that to us,

like, three Christmases ago.

If it didn't happen then,
it's not gonna happen now.

Well, I'll just get it
started, and maybe you guys

will be jumping in before you know it.

Aha! These two pieces were
already stuck together.

Off to a pretty good start here.

Hey, neighbor! Thanks
for helping me do this.

Uh, h-happy to help, Mr. Huggins.

- Hi, Bob.
- Hey, Teddy.

The place we're picking up the bed

is a little further away than I thought.

- I hope that's okay.
- No problem.

- It's... fine.
- Sorry I won't be much help.

Uh, can't lift anything
since my back went out.

Well, uh, I guess that works for us.

Especially because
it's an adjustable bed.

Those things are heavy.

- Yeah.
- My old one weighed a ton.

It looked like a dentist chair
crossed with a Transformer.

Oh. Do you need us to
haul the old one away?

- Mm. Mm.
- Bob, why are you hitting me?

- Don't. Will you stop?
- Mmmm. Mm-mm.

- Your foot is getting away from you.
- Mm. Yep.

No, I donated it. The charity
people came and got it.

- Really cussed me out.
- I hate those guys.

Linda! Come on in!

So glad you made it.

Oh, I'm so excited,
I'm gonna oil myself.

- Heh. Get it?
- Sort of.

This is Gary, Jill, Susan and Kim.

Some oil sellers. All oil users.

Hi! I'm Linda!

- Hi.
- Welcome. -Hi.

And that's Reggie.

Reggie? Are you taking a break

from the deli to learn about oils?

Yep. No more stinkin'
like salami for me.

Eh, I'm still getting
a whiff. But it's good.

Also, I haven't been sick once
since I started using essential oils.

- Wow!
- And my toilet time?

Let's just say it's uneventful.

And I'm so healthy, I don't
even have to wash my hands. Ever.

O... Kay.

Look at all those oils, Angie!

I thought you were just
selling them part-time,

but you've got more oil
than a Beverly Hillbilly.

Oh, no. This is my full-time job.

- Oh.
- But honestly, they sell themselves.

And maybe you can sell them, too.

Oh!

I found another corner-piece.

Wait, five corner-pieces?

You're fighting the good fight, T.

You're that puzzle's Renée Zellweger

from Jerry Maguire... You complete it.

Hello. I'm a kid,

but all my grown-ups are totally home.

Hi, Louise. It's your Aunt Gayle.

Can I talk to your mom?
I lost the lottery again.

Yeah, I lied. Mom and Dad are both out.

They just like me to answer that way.

- Sounds natural.
- Oh, that's nice.

Did they go to the movies?

Or go share one
milkshake with two straws?

Is that what people do?

Tina! Aunt Gayle wants to talk to you!

- Hey, Aunt G. What's up?
- I was calling for your mom,

but I guess she's out with
your dad doing married stuff.

Actually, Dad's helping move a bed,

- and Mom's at an essential oil party.
- What?!

- Your mom's at an essential oil party?!
- Yes.

Oh! We got to get your mom out of here!

- She needs an oil-vention!
- Aunt Gayle, you're scaring me.

Yeah. You know I love being
screamed at and thrown in a car,

but what is going on?

Essential oil parties are dangerous.

I bought the distributor's
package at one of those parties,

$600 worth, and I
couldn't sell any of it,

and I used half of it on myself!

- Oh, my God!
- Bicyclist!

It's on my credit card, Tina.

- I'll be paying it off till I'm dead!
- Aah!

We can't let your mom end up like me!

Aah! You're right!

We can't get any poorer, can we?

I guess she could sell all of
our belongings and our clothes,

make us wear burlap sacks.

Aah! Burlap sacks are
the itchiest sacks.

- We'll get her out of there.
- Hot dog stand!

- Where?
- I'm just saying we should stop at one!

Okay, let's go over the
plan one more time.

We go into the party,
you take Mom aside,

tell her the very sad
story about what happened

- with you and the oils,
and we get out. - Mm-hmm.

Bing bang boom. Angie
will not know what hit her.

We have to get your mom
home before they bring out

the big guns... The credit card swipers.

- Can do!
- And stay by my side at all times.

I can't be trusted
with the p... the p...

the peppermint oil.

Oh, God, just saying the
name gives me the shivers.

- Peppermint oil.
- Oh... !

... and that's when I
got my "aroma diploma."

Oh, I'm not sure why
you're all laughing.

Ugh. It smells like someone
ate, prayed and loved

- too much in here.
- Oh, no.

- It's worse than I thought.
- Why?

She's pretty.

Thank you.

No, the host. Pretty friends

are your mom's a-chillies heel.

- Do you mean "Achilles"?
- No, "a-chillies,"

like the heel.

She falls under the spell
of these pretty people,

and she doesn't even
realize they're using her.

Like her cheerleader friend
Monica in high school.

- Mom's a pretty pleaser.
- Kids!

Gayle! What are you doing here?

Mom, Aunt Gayle has
something to tell you.

We got to get you out of here.

Stop it, Gayle. You're acting weird.

I'll make a distraction. You sneak out.

Pizza delivery!

Gayle, either zip it or leave.

- But, Linda...
- Oh, hi.

Sorry, Angie. I didn't know

these guys were gonna show up. I...

Oh, it's no problem. Kids,

Gary brought his son Ronnie, and
he's in the next room playing.

Maybe you could join him in there,

make it the kids' room. Fun!

- Linda.
- Yeah, uh, yeah, kids,

go play in the kids'
room. Stop it, Gayle.

Gayle, finish the job.

Do you guys like doing puzzles?

- Yes.
- No!

I think this is it.

That's not too bad.

Nah. Keep going.

I think... this is it.

Oh... my God.

This is just... so awkward.

Have you never moved a mattress before?

I-I don't remember.

I think everywhere I lived

they were just there already.

Don't worry, the frame
will be a lot easier.

It weighs about eight times
as much as the mattress,

- but it's not as bendy.
- Oh, God.

I think I've asked too much of people

I don't know all that well.

- Well, maybe.
- No, it's fine.

So let's fix that. What's
your favorite movie?

- Or your favorite childhood memory?
- What?

Let's, uh, let's get to
know each other better.

Uh, maybe let's, uh,
wait until we finish.

For me, it's Dark Crystal

- and the time my dad high-fived me.
- Well, that's nice.

And oils don't just
make you smell great,

they make you feel great.

- Oh, I love oils!
- Speaking of oils...

Oh, look!

Uh-oh. Someone's up from his nap.

No, no, Ringo. No.
Ringo, no jumping. Ringo.

- Oh, it's okay.
- It's a puppy. - So adorable.

Oh, I love his name.

I called him Ringo,
because he had ringworm.

Oh. Get down. Get down.

And because he pways the dwums.

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Drums!

Like Ringo McCartney.

This English cottage is coming together.

You bet your ass.

This is taking too long.

What's Aunt Gayle doing out there?!

She must have started
a silent conga line,

since I don't hear any conga line music.

You know what? I'm gonna go out
there and just tell Mom myself.

- Aunt Gayle had her chance...
- Hey, guys. Sorry to interrupt,

but do you mind if we put Ringo in here?

- Oh, my God, what's happening?
- Ringo!

Don't! Stop! Him!

Are you saying, "Don't stop him"?

Or "Don't. Stop him"?

I'm saying get away! Get away from us!

I mean, we're fine with him in here.

Okay, good. I'll leave you guys to play.

Who's the best boy in the
world? Who's the softest boy?

My ears are burning.

Are you sure you're even lifting, Bob?

Yes. I am trying.

It's really heavy,

and I am so weak.

What about your favorite foods?

I'll start this one. Thai food.
No. Mexican.

Wait. Thai. You know what?

I think it's a tie. A Mexican-Thai tie.

- Hey, I need another break.
- No. I have to hold this thing

every time we take a break.

It's not a break for me, Bob.

I'm just gonna push.
Whatever happens, happens.

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

I already started! I can't stop now!

I'm pinned against
the door! Pull it back!

I can't. It's stuck.

I'm gonna try to open the door.

Aah! It's locked!

Oh, you know what? I
probably should've gone

ahead of you guys, because
I have a key. Here you go!

- Ow!
- Oh, did I get you?

J-Just my head and my face.

You need to get out of here, Linda.

Gayle, I said knock it off!

How are things goin' over here?

So far, so great!

But, um... we're gonna leave.

- What? No!
- Yeah, we should.

The kids are probably
bored stiff in there.

Right?

Now you're Smush
face, now you're smooth face.

Now you're Smush face,
now you're smooth face.

- Now you're Smush face...
- I feel like there's something else

- we're supposed to be doing right now.
- ... now you're smooth face.

Well, I'm up to my butt in puzzle, so...

Almost done here. Just gonna
do this one hundred more times.

Yeah, I should probably make
his back skin into a purse again.

Yeah.

And... we're finally done.

Wow, this thing's amazing.

I'm so grateful to you fellas.

I don't have any beer, but
you want a tomato juice?

Oh, no thanks, Mr. Huggins.

- Uh, I'm-I'm gonna get going.
- It's just,

n-now that I got this bed in
here, I'm kind of freakin' out!

The reason I got this new bed
is I'm starting to date again...

Wow. You don't have to brag.

Eh.

No, it's not that.

It's just I'm a little scared.

I haven't been with
anyone for 20 years.

Oh.

Now my new lady friend
is coming over tonight,

I'm afraid I've been
out of the game too long.

- Can I ask you two some questions?
- Mm-hmm. Oh, God.

You came to the right guys, Mr. Huggins.

First of all, are silk
bathrobes still sexy?

- I'm thinking yes, but let's see it.
- Oh, boy.

Linda, here's the thing.

You're in so much terrible danger.

Gayle, stop whispering in my ear!

- Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
- Mm, mm...

I'm gonna let go of your lips,
and then you can calmly say

- what it is you want to say.
- Mm.

Oils will ruin your life.

Who here is familiar
with the peppermint oil?

Smell that.

Nng, nng, nng, nng,
nng, nng, nng, nng. Ah.

And we're finished... except
for the several missing pieces.

I mean, how hard is it

to keep all your puzzle
pieces in the box, right?

You're my baby, I'm your mommy.
You're my baby, I'm your mommy.

Oh, crap. Mom! We forgot about Mom!

Damn it, Tina and your
stupid English cottage!

- Easy there, puppy-hag.
- Puzzle-putz.

Ladies, please! You both
really messed up tonight.

This thing is great. I
just plug it into my phone,

and you can pay with your credit card!

- Oh crap!
- The swiper!

God, e-commerce has come so
far. What? You were thinking it.

- Oh, yes!
- We waited too long.

Yeah. Aunt Gayle is no good to us now.

It's up to us to get Mom out of here.

There's no time to lose.
She's gonna swipe any second.

- Front to back, I hope.
- Oh, hey, kids.

What are you doing out here?

Oh. Hey.

Uh, poor Ringo threw
up all over the place.

Uh, right, guys?

- Ah, yeah, so much.
- It's ugly.

Oh, no. Sorry.

We're trying a new puppy
food. It's made from wasps.

Are you just saying that
so I won't want to try it?

- Ah!
- Mom, we got to get out of here.

Why does everyone keep saying that?

You're falling under Angie's spell,

like you fell under Monica's
spell in high school!

What? No, this is nothing like Monica.

Monica used to make
me hold her cigarette

whenever a teacher would walk by.

Angie's nice. She likes nice smells.

Has she asked you to
start selling the oil?

Well, yeah, because she thinks I can.

- I didn't see any throw-up in there.
- Maybe Ronnie cleaned it up?

- Or Ringo ate it?
- Or Ronnie ate it.

In any case, we, uh...
all have to get going.

No! We're not going yet.

You guys go back to the kids'
room until we're done in here.

- But...
- No buts!

- But, uh...
- I'll tell you what.

Go back in, and I'll put this
diffuser in there with you.

- Kids love diffusers. Right?
- It's all we ever talk about.

Va-Va-Va-Va, Va-Va-Va-Va.

Ugh!

So what do you think?

Anything look weird to you guys?

- Like, weird how?
- Mm.

You know what I mean. Do I look... okay?

Yeah, you look... you look great.

Uh, so... should we go?

Uh, turn around, Mr. Huggins.
Let's get a look at the back.

Wow.

What? What? My tattoo?

There's a tattoo under there?

Throw us back in here with the adorable

Ringo to distract me?

It's not gonna work, Angie!

Not now, my sweet boy.

On a positive note,
over here in puzzle-town,

I have drawn replacement pieces

with these markers and sticky notes,

And we're about to
move into an English cottage.

Ronnie, you son of a bitch, if
I was just five years younger.

Oh... I don't get it.

Wait. Markers.

Yeah. They're like pens, but...

Well, just try one and see.

My side's going pretty well.

How are you doing over there, Bobby?

I'm getting a lot of hair in
my mouth right now, so, uh...

Ha. Ha, ha, ha.

Let-let... let's wrap it up. Ugh.

Just swallow it. It won't hurt you.

Hey, what are you guys
talking about back there?

Nothing. Oh, there's
the tattoo. Found it.

- What is that?
- It's a yin-yang.

Who told you this was a yin-yang?

The guy at the place! Is it that bad?

Uh, I'll just shave some and leave some.

Then, it kind of works.

Oh, wait. No, it doesn't.

Eh, it doesn't. Uh, do
you have any high boxers?

Uh, sorry to interrupt again.

- Louise doesn't look so good.
- I feel okay.

I'm just a little wheezy
and a little itchy.

Maybe too much oil in the air?

I'm so sorry.

I've heard an allergic
reaction is possible,

but I've never seen it.

Guess I'm lucky, Angie.

Hmm. Come here. Give me that.

- Uh-oh. - Is
that marker?

- You kids are in big trouble!
- Come on!

- We're trying to help you!
- Mom, you got to listen to us!

No! No, no, no! Don't start.

I'm gonna finish talking about
the deluxe distributor package

with Angie, and you're gonna
leave with your Aunt Gayle.

Deluxe distributor package? No!

Gayle, take the kids home, and
give those vials back to Reggie.

- Ah...
- Keep 'em.

Mom, we don't want what happened
to Aunt Gayle to happen to you.

- What are you talking about?
- Gayle? Ugh.

Gayle!

- Huh?
- Tell her!

Oh. Right. Linda, I tried selling oil.

I tried it. I got in over my head!

I bought the distributor package.

I couldn't sell any of it.

It's on my credit card
for the rest of my life!

Gayle, none of that surprises me, okay?

But that's not gonna happen to me.

All of you, go home... now.

- Let us love you!
- Aah! Aah!

If you come back in
here, you're grounded.

You too, Gayle. Good-bye.

- What do we do now?
- I don't know.

Take a bat to the window?
Tina, pass me your bat.

- I didn't bring a bat.
- Damn it, Tina.

Is... anyone else
having trouble like that?

Um, uh, my sales are...

They're-they're pretty terrific.

I've been selling a lot,
to my family, mostly.

Uh, they're very supportive.

Mine, too, but the best news is
I-I may have found a new lender.

So I can buy more oils to pay
for the ones I used on myself.

I'm looking forward to
selling my first vial.

And sure, a-a friend of
mine stopped talking to me,

'cause of the oils, but I really thought

he could use some diffusers
to deal with his sinuses.

He-he has bad sinuses.
Eucalyptus, right?

- Right!
- I'm not crazy. He's crazy!

Huh.

Nah, but maybe-maybe more to the left.

- Okay. Okay.
- There you go. Nailed it.

- Okay, how about that?
- No, that's perfect.

- That's perfect.
- Okay. Okay, so that lamp's on?

- Yup.
- And that lamp off.

All right. Yeah. Both
of 'em not on. Try that.

- That's pretty dark.
- Oh, now it's dark. Right. Yeah.

- This is stupid.
- Okay. okay, yeah.

- Uh... that's better.
- Of course it's better!

What is wrong with you guys?!
When is this gonna end?!

Sorry. That was unnecessary.

It's just been... a very annoying

and physically painful evening.

I've taken up enough of your time.

It'll be fine. It'll go... how it goes.

Uh, Mr. Huggins, listen.

You're-you're a great guy, I-I think.

I... like you less
today, but I'm pretty sure

- you're a great guy.
- That's fair enough.

So... just be yourself
with your new lady friend.

Tell her everything you
told me and Teddy today...

Your favorite movies,
your favorite foods...

But mostly, tell her that
you're feeling nervous.

She'll appreciate your honesty,

and it might take away the
pressure you're feeling.

Wow. Makes sense. Thank you, Rob.

- It's Bob.
- What?

Nothing. It's fine. You're welcome.

- And the robe is sexy.
- Thank you.

Wow. "Be yourself." Wish I said that.

The guy can barely carry a mattress,

but then he pulls
through down the stretch

with the poignant life lesson.

Ugh. Bobby, you're good.

Ooh! I know why that happened.

I had all these extra
screws, and I thought,

"Wait, did I bring these,
or are they from the bed?"

Now I know, they are from the bed.

That's on me. Bob, give me a hand.

Got to go. Bye.

I'm sorry you're all... struggling.

I... had another... great month.

I found about, I think, 15 more
people who bought oil and...

seemed excited about
selling it themselves.

- Way to go, Ange.
- Oh, my God.

- What?
- You are like Monica.

Well, a new kind of Monica.

- A nice Monica.
- Who?

Angie, you're young,
and you're beautiful.

- You're glowing.
- She's radiant.

And that's why you succeed at this.

People are drawn to you.

It's not the oils. It's you. It's Angie.

You could sell... ice
to people in Iceland.

I did. I... lived in
Iceland after college.

I sold ice to people...
who... wanted... ice.

Of course you did.

You don't even realize
you're kind of using people.

- I am?
- Kind of.

To you, this stuff sells
itself, but when you sell it

to other people to sell, it's...
it's a weight around their neck.

A big oily weight that
no one wants to buy.

Sorry, Ange, but it's kind of true.

People like us see people like you,

and it's like, "What's your secret?"

- Yeah. Who-who doesn't
want to feel pretty? - Yeah.

But there's no secret.
You're in your thirties,

and you don't have three kids,
and-and... you have this rug.

- Oh, I love this rug.
- It's a great rug.

And I wanted to feel like
how I imagine you feel.

I-I wanted it so bad that I
would have spent real money,

even though my family was
trying to stop me, and...

and now they're outside the
window, listening in the bushes.

We actually can't hear
much, but we get the gist.

Mommy sees you. You
can come back inside.

I don't know what to say.

I guess I never thought of it that way.

And that's okay, Angie.

You don't have to think of it that way.

Look at you. Enjoy it
while you got it. I did.

But now I got this,
and it's even better.

Yeah, take a look at what
you could have, honey.

I get your point, Linda, and you know

you don't have to pay up front
for the distributor package.

There's an installment plan, and...

Ange, it's not gonna happen.

- I'm listening.
- Gayle, no!

Okay, okay.

Thanks for coming to rescue me,
guys, and Gayle, you were right.

She's a Monica in Angie clothing.

I tried to tell you.

You really embarrassed
yourself in there.

Aunt Gayle, you still have
those vials in your nose.

- Tina, shh. Shh, shh, shh.
- Sorry.

Gene, I took Ringo.

Nice. No one will ever catch on.

- Louise, did you take the dog?
- No.

Quiet, quiet, quiet.

We're taking him back. Let me see him.

Who's a baby? Ah, we'll
take him back in an hour.

♪ Hey, Ange! ♪

♪ That-that-that,
that is fun ♪

♪ Hey, An-An-An ♪

♪ Hey, Ange! ♪

♪ That-that-that-that,
that-that... that is fun ♪

♪ Hey, An-An...
hey, An-An, hey, An ♪

♪ That is fun ♪

♪ Hey, Ange! ♪

♪ That-that-that... ♪

♪ That... that is fun. ♪

... Synced and corrected by ChrisKe ...
... www.addic7ed.com ...