All language subtitles for Batman s03e07 Make Em Laugh.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:34,427 We've waited weeks for reservations. 2 00:01:42,935 --> 00:01:45,980 - Name? - King, party of one. 3 00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:50,693 King, King. No, I'm sorry, I don't show that reservation. 4 00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:54,488 Oh, yeah? Well, let me show you something, fruitcake. 5 00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:57,533 Ahh! 6 00:02:00,786 --> 00:02:02,288 Hands up, chowhounds. 7 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:08,711 Drop your forks and prepare to cower before the uncanny Condiment King. 8 00:02:08,794 --> 00:02:11,464 - Who is that? - Some kind of nutcase. 9 00:02:11,547 --> 00:02:14,592 - Just ignore him. - Someone will call security. 10 00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:20,681 Hey. Hey! I don't believe this! I say cower, and you're still eating? 11 00:02:21,098 --> 00:02:22,892 Well, all right then. 12 00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:32,318 Now, see here, you. 13 00:02:39,283 --> 00:02:40,534 Hot sauce. 14 00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:43,954 Anyone else want to be a hero? 15 00:02:44,163 --> 00:02:46,332 Then take out your wallets, cash and jewels 16 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:49,085 and toss them here on the table. Come on. Right now. 17 00:02:52,546 --> 00:02:54,882 Disturbance reported at the top of the Crown restaurant. 18 00:02:55,132 --> 00:02:59,011 Suspect is a male, costumed extremist armed with what appears to be 19 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,262 a ketchup gun. 20 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:03,015 It's gonna be one of those nights. 21 00:03:08,604 --> 00:03:13,693 So long, suckers. Parting is such sweet-and-sour sorrow. 22 00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:23,411 What's this? 23 00:03:23,869 --> 00:03:26,997 Ah! The big, bad Bat-guy. 24 00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:31,377 I knew you'd catch up to me sooner or later. How I've relished this meeting. 25 00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:37,675 You, the dynamic Dark Knight, versus me, the conceptual Condiment King. 26 00:03:38,050 --> 00:03:39,093 Come, Batman. 27 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:42,888 Let's see if you can cut the mustard- 28 00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,098 Quiet. 29 00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:49,353 - You hit me. - Now, listen, Mustard Man, 30 00:03:49,603 --> 00:03:51,272 or whatever you call yourself. 31 00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:55,192 You're obviously new at this, so I'm willing to go easy on you. 32 00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:58,863 Provided you give back the loot and never even think about doing this again. 33 00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:00,156 Deal? 34 00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:04,160 - Horseradish! - This is your last warning. 35 00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,746 Let's go, Batso. You and me. 36 00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:10,124 I'm the prince of pickles, sultan of sauce. 37 00:04:10,958 --> 00:04:13,335 You don't stand a chance. You hear me? 38 00:04:14,128 --> 00:04:15,755 Later, chump. 39 00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:21,469 Hang on. 40 00:04:33,397 --> 00:04:34,857 Harvey, call an ambulance. 41 00:04:35,983 --> 00:04:37,568 I know this man. 42 00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:40,696 He's that TV comic, Buddy Standler. 43 00:04:42,406 --> 00:04:44,074 Still no clues in the mystery 44 00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:45,826 behind comedian Buddy Standler's 45 00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,828 one-man crime spree last night. 46 00:04:48,078 --> 00:04:52,041 A rampage that ended with a trip to the hospital for the famed TV comic. 47 00:04:52,291 --> 00:04:55,419 Though Standler himself is unable to account for his actions, 48 00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:57,922 his manager had these observations. 49 00:04:58,172 --> 00:05:02,510 I don't get it. Buddy's just thrown his entire career away. 50 00:05:02,718 --> 00:05:04,887 The network's canceling his show 51 00:05:05,054 --> 00:05:07,681 and the restaurant's suing him for a million dollars. 52 00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,601 Why'd he do it? It just doesn't make sense. 53 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:14,522 That's too bad. I watch Standler's show all the time. He's great. 54 00:05:14,730 --> 00:05:17,483 Any idea what would have caused him to go off the deep end? 55 00:05:17,858 --> 00:05:20,361 No, but talk about bad timing. 56 00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:22,404 He was supposed to be one of the judges 57 00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:24,573 for the annual laugh-off competition tonight. 58 00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:26,700 Alfred and I bought tickets. 59 00:05:27,284 --> 00:05:29,286 By the way, where is Alfred? 60 00:05:38,879 --> 00:05:42,216 - One side, mac. - I beg your pardon. 61 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,140 Ooh. Pretty. I want it. 62 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:54,979 - Hey, you can't do that. - Sure I can, lady. 63 00:05:55,187 --> 00:05:57,189 I'm the Pack Rat, 64 00:05:57,439 --> 00:06:00,693 -and your trash is my treasure. - Hey! 65 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:04,947 Mmm. Shiny. 66 00:06:06,323 --> 00:06:07,366 Security! 67 00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:13,914 Oh, no, you don't. 68 00:06:26,802 --> 00:06:29,013 Whoa, dibs on the dummy hand. 69 00:06:30,764 --> 00:06:32,016 Good heavens. 70 00:06:39,773 --> 00:06:42,109 I've been looking everyplace for one of these. 71 00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:54,663 - Yes? - Master Bruce? 72 00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:55,873 Alfred? 73 00:06:55,956 --> 00:06:58,250 I think you're needed at Mayfield's right away, sir. 74 00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:00,252 There's a man with a gun running amok. 75 00:07:00,419 --> 00:07:01,503 He's- 76 00:07:01,670 --> 00:07:05,758 A word of advice, mac. Never rat on a rat. 77 00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:16,185 Alfred? 78 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,357 Alfred! 79 00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:37,539 You'll get oatmeal and like it. 80 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:42,544 Listen, Eddie, if they expect me to judge that stupid laugh-off again, 81 00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,755 they'd better be prepared to pay. 82 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,968 Hold on, I got somebody at the door. 83 00:07:54,723 --> 00:07:56,642 - Yeah? - Pizza delivery. 84 00:07:56,850 --> 00:07:58,727 I didn't order any pizza. 85 00:08:00,604 --> 00:08:04,608 - But I'll take it. How much? - It's on me. 86 00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,902 Hey! 87 00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:18,247 Okay, everybody, empty your pockets. 88 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:22,918 I want gum wrappers, loose string, those little balls of lint. 89 00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:26,630 None of that cash stuff. 90 00:08:27,214 --> 00:08:28,465 Hey! 91 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,051 What? 92 00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:35,723 So it's the rat versus the bat and the brat. 93 00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:39,977 Only one will survive, and that's gonna be me. 94 00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:41,395 Everybody, clear out. 95 00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:11,592 Come on out. 96 00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:17,848 Mmm, mmm, mmm. 97 00:09:52,007 --> 00:09:53,258 It's Harry Loomis. 98 00:09:53,550 --> 00:09:55,052 Another famous comedian. 99 00:09:55,302 --> 00:09:56,428 Look at his neck. 100 00:10:04,686 --> 00:10:05,979 A microchip? 101 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:08,482 Mind control. 102 00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:12,945 This is beginning to point toward our old friend, the Mad Hatter. 103 00:10:26,166 --> 00:10:29,044 Wake up, Jervis. We have to talk. 104 00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:32,714 Come on, rise and shine. 105 00:10:40,013 --> 00:10:41,765 Wow, he's really out. 106 00:11:07,082 --> 00:11:08,208 Here's what we know. 107 00:11:09,459 --> 00:11:13,380 Someone implants the Mad Hatter with one of his own mind-control devices, 108 00:11:13,630 --> 00:11:15,799 then does the same thing to two comedians. 109 00:11:15,966 --> 00:11:17,217 But what's the connection? 110 00:11:17,467 --> 00:11:19,720 Looks like it's three comedians now, sir. 111 00:11:21,930 --> 00:11:24,391 "TV personality Lisa Lorraine was abducted 112 00:11:24,474 --> 00:11:26,310 "from her apartment early this evening." 113 00:11:26,518 --> 00:11:30,397 And here's our common link. This comedy competition. 114 00:11:30,647 --> 00:11:33,400 Sure. Buddy, Harry and Lisa judge it every year. 115 00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,444 Remember, we taped the last one. 116 00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:37,112 Right here, Master Dick. 117 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,114 And I've cued it to something you should see. 118 00:11:45,412 --> 00:11:47,206 Well, that's it for our contestants. 119 00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:50,542 Now our panel of distinguished judges will choose 120 00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:53,670 the funniest person in Gotham. 121 00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:05,390 Not so fast, chuckles. You haven't introduced me yet. 122 00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:07,643 Smiling Shecky Rimshot. 123 00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:09,228 Ba-dum-boom. 124 00:12:11,563 --> 00:12:12,856 Come on, already. 125 00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:16,526 Good evening, ladies and germs. 126 00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:19,738 Hey, did you hear about the guy walked into a doctor's office 127 00:12:19,821 --> 00:12:21,990 with a frog on his head? Doctor says, 128 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:24,868 "That's the weirdest looking wart I've ever seen." Frog looks up and says, 129 00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:27,955 "Yeah, I woke up this morning, there was a big bump on my butt." 130 00:12:34,002 --> 00:12:36,463 Hey, then there's this guy who buys a new dog. 131 00:12:36,546 --> 00:12:38,340 He takes it for a walk and the friend says- 132 00:12:38,423 --> 00:12:39,633 Huh? 133 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:43,095 Sorry, pal. We've already made our decision. 134 00:12:43,303 --> 00:12:47,266 And for your information, registration closed days ago. 135 00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:50,519 I'm not leaving until I get that trophy. 136 00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:54,314 Oh, yes, you are. 137 00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,696 You can't do this to me! 138 00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:02,781 I'm the greatest comic in Gotham! 139 00:13:04,032 --> 00:13:06,910 I'll get even. I'II ruin you all. 140 00:13:07,494 --> 00:13:09,079 Freeze it right there. 141 00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:14,626 I think I see what you mean, Alfred. 142 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:17,421 Without the hat... 143 00:13:19,631 --> 00:13:21,049 And different hair... 144 00:13:21,508 --> 00:13:22,843 The Joker! 145 00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,900 I tell you, Maury, I'm dying here. 146 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,277 I got a full house, 147 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,572 and all three of my celebrity judges are either missing or in jail. 148 00:13:43,655 --> 00:13:46,033 You gotta find me some replacements quick. 149 00:13:46,950 --> 00:13:49,453 Ask and ye shall receive. 150 00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:51,580 What in the... 151 00:13:52,497 --> 00:13:57,127 Permit me to introduce Judges Knuckles, Vinnie and Kowalski. 152 00:13:57,544 --> 00:14:00,297 They'll be presenting me with the trophy tonight. 153 00:14:00,797 --> 00:14:03,842 Listen, you can't just walk in here and take... 154 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:06,011 Oh, but I already have. 155 00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:14,394 These little microchips are a wonder. 156 00:14:14,728 --> 00:14:18,982 Remind me to thank the Mad Hatter if he ever wakes up. 157 00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:22,736 Hey, start the show already. 158 00:14:23,111 --> 00:14:26,156 - Let's go already! - Start the show! 159 00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:31,286 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 10th annual Gotham Laff Off. 160 00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:35,415 And now, it is my deepest honor to present to you 161 00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:40,170 the evening's first and only contestant, Smiling Shecky Rimshot. 162 00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:43,507 Hey, folks, you're beautiful. 163 00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:46,510 Funny thing happened to me on the way to the theater last year. 164 00:14:46,593 --> 00:14:50,972 It seems three no-talent hacks tried to stop me from winning. 165 00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:52,516 But guess what! 166 00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:57,521 I'm back. 167 00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:07,614 Oh! Such unhappy faces. 168 00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:10,200 Judges, let's cheer them up. 169 00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:18,667 My high-octane laughing gas will have you rolling in the aisles. 170 00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:35,976 It's just you and us, Joker. 171 00:15:36,309 --> 00:15:38,353 Not quite, Batman. 172 00:15:38,603 --> 00:15:42,774 I've got a new girl, and she'll really sweep you off your feet. 173 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:48,405 Lisa Lorraine? 174 00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:54,870 Call me Mighty Mom. 175 00:15:55,078 --> 00:15:56,371 Ain't she sweet? 176 00:15:57,622 --> 00:16:01,001 My very own happy homemaker. 177 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,378 But I don't do windows. 178 00:16:04,754 --> 00:16:06,006 Not bad. 179 00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:09,301 Honey, why don't you show our pals how you clean house? 180 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:12,345 In other words, mop 'em up. 181 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,440 Who's first to get dusted? 182 00:16:23,982 --> 00:16:25,609 Think you can get the brain patch off her? 183 00:16:25,817 --> 00:16:26,818 No problem. 184 00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:37,120 - Hey! - Naughty boy. Mama spank. 185 00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:46,755 What did I tell you about playing with your toys in the house? 186 00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:49,674 - Get rid of it! - You're the boss. 187 00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:02,729 No! Not on my nice clean floor. 188 00:17:02,812 --> 00:17:05,565 - Just hold still. - Ow! 189 00:17:05,815 --> 00:17:07,150 That hurts. 190 00:17:09,986 --> 00:17:13,490 - Don't worry. I'm back to normal. - Who can tell? 191 00:17:37,889 --> 00:17:41,142 - Stay back. - You've hit a new low, Joker. 192 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:45,105 Only you would ruin three lives for a silly piece of tin. 193 00:17:45,605 --> 00:17:47,691 You're dumber than you look, Bats. 194 00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:53,822 It's not the trophy that matters, it's the title. 195 00:17:53,905 --> 00:17:58,660 I am the greatest clown this dismal burg has ever seen. 196 00:17:58,868 --> 00:18:02,414 What would the common folk do without my pranks and antics? 197 00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:04,207 Let's find out. 198 00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:12,048 Up, up and away! 199 00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:31,318 Quit rocking the boat! 200 00:18:42,787 --> 00:18:45,707 Oh! Too bad, Bat-sap. 201 00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:48,001 But you should have remembered the old saying, 202 00:18:48,251 --> 00:18:51,588 "Dying is easy, comedy is hard." 203 00:19:03,099 --> 00:19:04,934 Mind if I join the party? 204 00:19:12,275 --> 00:19:14,653 Ow! You miserable brat. 205 00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:22,869 Get this stupid thing off me. 206 00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:30,377 Oops! 207 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:32,962 Watch it. 208 00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:36,424 I think I'm getting airsick. 209 00:19:56,069 --> 00:20:01,491 I'll get you for this, Batman! No one upstages me and lives. 210 00:20:03,910 --> 00:20:06,830 Is there a problem, officers? 211 00:20:13,169 --> 00:20:18,174 What's so funny? I'll give you something to laugh about! 212 00:20:18,224 --> 00:20:22,774 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 16081

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