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1
00:01:22,164 --> 00:01:23,708
Here it is, gentlemen.
2
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:27,587
Enough kaboom to turn Gotham
into the world's biggest pothole.
3
00:01:27,878 --> 00:01:30,756
What say we start the bidding
at one million?
4
00:01:31,799 --> 00:01:33,676
- One million.
- Two million.
5
00:01:33,926 --> 00:01:35,636
- Three million.
- Five.
6
00:01:37,346 --> 00:01:41,851
Gentlemen, please. Don't insult me
with nickel-and-dime bids.
7
00:01:42,643 --> 00:01:46,105
The man who walks outwith this bomb
walks outwith Gotham in his pocket.
8
00:01:46,522 --> 00:01:48,899
Yours to pick clean or blow sky-high.
9
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:51,485
Your call. What am I bid?
10
00:01:51,902 --> 00:01:54,196
How about nothing?
11
00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:58,159
Zero, zip, zilch, nada.
12
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:02,163
My personal check for bupkis.
13
00:02:02,246 --> 00:02:05,750
Drawn on
the First National Bank of Squadoo.
14
00:02:11,255 --> 00:02:12,715
Sorry, boys,
15
00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:14,508
this lot is sold.
16
00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:30,149
Whoops.
17
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:37,573
You really should loosen up, dear.
18
00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,575
Have a laugh now and then.
19
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:51,003
That's so much more pleasant.
20
00:02:51,587 --> 00:02:54,715
Alerting the public now
would only cause a panic, Commissioner.
21
00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:58,594
But if that madman plans to use
the bomb, we've got to clear the city.
22
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,889
I can't evacuate 10 million
people on your suspicions.
23
00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:04,600
We don't even know if the bomb's
still in Gotham.
24
00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:06,811
Keep me posted if you find anything.
25
00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:10,356
The Joker will be
extra cautious this time.
26
00:03:10,606 --> 00:03:11,774
We'll have to think like him.
27
00:03:11,982 --> 00:03:14,110
Or recruit someone who does.
28
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:27,832
Ms. Quinn.
29
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:39,051
Don't you knock before entering
a lady's boudoir?
30
00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:42,638
- I need help.
- Well, you've come to the right place.
31
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,390
I recommend a Iobotomy.
32
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,143
The Joker's stolen a bomb.
33
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,270
If I can't get to him in time
34
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:52,481
this city and everyone in it
is going up in a mushroom cloud.
35
00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:57,194
So you want me to
turn squealer on Mr. J. Ha!
36
00:03:58,237 --> 00:04:00,531
Sorry, B-man, no deal.
37
00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:03,284
I've talked to Gordon
and Dr. Bartholomew.
38
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:06,787
You help me find the Joker, and they'll
write your ticket out of here.
39
00:04:06,954 --> 00:04:08,122
Whee!
40
00:04:08,205 --> 00:04:10,624
If you promise no double-cross.
41
00:04:12,042 --> 00:04:14,628
Ah, shoot, take all the fun out of life.
42
00:04:15,212 --> 00:04:16,839
I don't have time for jokes.
43
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,800
Okay, okay, I promise.
44
00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:21,010
Shake?
45
00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:27,308
Oh, the irony of it.
46
00:04:27,391 --> 00:04:31,687
The grim, stalwart Dark Knight
and his greatest female adversary
47
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,898
fighting together to save the city.
48
00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:42,448
I sense a lack of trust.
49
00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:46,911
Sure you don't need any help
keeping Zippy under control?
50
00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:48,245
I'm fine.
51
00:04:48,537 --> 00:04:51,582
Besides, I need you to be ready
if Gordon's men get any leads.
52
00:04:51,832 --> 00:04:53,876
- I'II signal if there's trouble.
- You got it.
53
00:04:54,418 --> 00:04:56,754
- I wanna listen to the radio.
- Don't!
54
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:11,268
Oops.
55
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:13,354
Listen, and listen good.
56
00:05:13,854 --> 00:05:16,774
You don't touch anything, say anything
57
00:05:16,857 --> 00:05:18,901
or do anything unless I tell you!
58
00:05:19,151 --> 00:05:21,278
- Got it?
- Yes, sir.
59
00:05:24,573 --> 00:05:27,326
So far, Joker hasn't been seen
at any of his old hideouts.
60
00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:30,663
I want you to show me the last place
he used when he escaped.
61
00:05:32,414 --> 00:05:33,582
Okay.
62
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:42,299
This used to be our special love nest.
63
00:05:45,886 --> 00:05:49,098
Have a look around while I slip into
something more comfortable.
64
00:05:49,723 --> 00:05:50,808
No tricks.
65
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,227
Hey, we have a deal, remember?
66
00:06:26,051 --> 00:06:27,219
Whee!
67
00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:31,682
Ah! I feel like a human being again.
68
00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:36,145
Hi, babies! Mommy's home!
69
00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:42,192
Are you the sweetest babies?
70
00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:45,070
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
71
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,575
How do you �he our ha-hacienda?
72
00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:51,118
Charming.
73
00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:53,329
Especially these monitors.
74
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:55,915
Between the cops,
city hall and the mayor's office,
75
00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:57,583
Joker has the whole city wired.
76
00:06:58,083 --> 00:06:59,251
He's a genius.
77
00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:01,128
What's the attraction, Quinn?
78
00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:03,797
This sick infatuation with the Joker.
79
00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:06,050
Look, Bats, when I was a doctor
80
00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:08,886
I was always listening
to other people's problems.
81
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:15,142
Then I met Mr. J., who listened to me
for a change and made everything fun.
82
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,313
You think it's funny
when he hurts people?
83
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:21,190
It's just a joke.
84
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,442
Hope you're still laughing
when it's your turn.
85
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,110
Hmph.
86
00:07:27,446 --> 00:07:29,531
Meet us at
the Apex novelty factory.
87
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:33,077
Quinn says it's an old hideout.
But the Joker may be using it again.
88
00:07:33,243 --> 00:07:34,370
I'm on my way.
89
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:48,217
- Grab on.
- I can do it myself, thank you.
90
00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:51,595
Ha-ha! Ow!
91
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:10,155
Sneak, sneak, sneak.
92
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:11,949
- Shh.
- Shh.
93
00:08:12,157 --> 00:08:15,703
What do you mean, "Shh"?
No one's been in this dump for years.
94
00:08:37,224 --> 00:08:38,350
Uh-oh.
95
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,859
Hey, guys, look who I got.
96
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:50,446
Well, well.
97
00:08:50,946 --> 00:08:52,072
If it ain't the big, bad Batman
98
00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:54,241
come to break up
Boxy Bennett's little social club.
99
00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:57,703
It's gonna cost you, freak, big time.
100
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,831
Hi, Boxy. Long time no see.
101
00:09:02,082 --> 00:09:03,292
Harley Quinn.
102
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:06,420
Last I heard, they tossed you in
the squirrel farm and swallowed the key.
103
00:09:07,504 --> 00:09:08,547
What you doing with the Bat?
104
00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:14,636
Come on, you don't think
I was working with Batman?
105
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:18,682
I know you'd blow us both away
if you thought that.
106
00:09:19,391 --> 00:09:20,517
You thought right, sugar.
107
00:09:23,812 --> 00:09:24,855
Phew.
108
00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:27,399
So, you ain't seen Mr. J. around,
have you?
109
00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:28,525
Nope.
110
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,861
You know, I never could figure
what a cute "file number like yourself
111
00:09:30,944 --> 00:09:32,613
saw in a slob like the Joker.
112
00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:36,033
Especially when there are suave guys
like me around.
113
00:09:36,825 --> 00:09:37,993
Now, Boxy.
114
00:09:38,577 --> 00:09:41,163
Sure, my pudding's
a little temperamental.
115
00:09:43,248 --> 00:09:46,752
But, gee, what relationship
doesn't have its ups and downs?
116
00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:56,261
A flat.
117
00:10:00,599 --> 00:10:05,187
I never knew
That our romance had ended
118
00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:09,149
Until you poisoned my food
119
00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:12,611
And I thought it was a lark
120
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:15,781
When you kicked me in the park
121
00:10:16,615 --> 00:10:20,160
But now I think it was rude
122
00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:26,500
I never knew that
you and I were finished
123
00:10:27,334 --> 00:10:30,212
Until that bottle hit my head
124
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:34,424
Though I tried to be aloof
125
00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:36,969
When you pushed me off the roof
126
00:10:38,262 --> 00:10:41,348
I feel our romance is dead
127
00:10:43,308 --> 00:10:47,813
It wouldn't have been so bad
If you had told me
128
00:10:48,313 --> 00:10:52,151
That someone had taken my place
129
00:10:53,735 --> 00:10:58,407
But no
No, you didn't even scold me
130
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:03,579
You just tried to disfigure my face
131
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:10,252
You'll never know
How this heart of mine is breaking
132
00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:14,006
It looks so hopeless, but then
133
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:18,260
Life used to be so placid
134
00:11:18,343 --> 00:11:21,388
Won't you please put down that acid?
135
00:11:21,471 --> 00:11:27,561
And say that we're sweethearts again
136
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,818
- Yeah.
- All right, baby!
137
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,618
Whoo! All right, B and R!
138
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:51,793
Hey, ugly.
139
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:55,464
They're all working together.
140
00:12:10,145 --> 00:12:11,813
Let's go, Quinn!
141
00:12:12,147 --> 00:12:13,315
Quinn!
142
00:12:13,398 --> 00:12:14,691
Whee!
143
00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:16,485
Bombs away!
144
00:12:17,277 --> 00:12:18,654
Huh?
145
00:12:20,447 --> 00:12:21,531
Yes!
146
00:12:26,411 --> 00:12:28,330
Did you see the way
I handled those creeps?
147
00:12:28,455 --> 00:12:29,706
Pow! Bam!
148
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:32,084
Oh, Batgirl, eat your heart out.
149
00:12:32,834 --> 00:12:35,504
What was she before she went bonkers?
150
00:12:35,879 --> 00:12:37,381
A clinical psychiatrist.
151
00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:40,592
Figures.
152
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:48,517
- Any word on the Joker?
- Nothing.
153
00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:51,979
I even checked with Gordon again,
and the mayor still refuses
154
00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:53,772
to let the cops evacuate the city.
155
00:12:57,901 --> 00:12:59,069
Oh, it's brilliant.
156
00:13:00,445 --> 00:13:02,406
Way to go, Mr. J.!
157
00:13:02,781 --> 00:13:03,865
What are you saying?
158
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:06,201
Oh, come on, Bats.
159
00:13:06,868 --> 00:13:09,871
You've seen how my pudding
keeps an eye on Gotham.
160
00:13:10,205 --> 00:13:12,082
What better way to
tie up the cops
161
00:13:12,165 --> 00:13:14,084
than to tie up the mayor?
162
00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:20,924
Whoo-hoo!
163
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:39,901
See, do I know how
Mr. J. thinks, or what? Ha!
164
00:13:40,944 --> 00:13:44,656
And here you thought I was just another
bubble-headed blond bimbo.
165
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:48,035
Well, the joke's on you.
I'm not even a real blond.
166
00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:52,122
Good job.
167
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:54,958
Huh? Hey!
168
00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:01,840
- What gives?
- I can't risk you warning the Joker.
169
00:14:02,799 --> 00:14:05,010
Would I do a thing like that?
170
00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,846
Hey, let me out! Come on!
171
00:14:10,515 --> 00:14:13,226
Boy, you just can't trust some people.
172
00:14:21,568 --> 00:14:25,697
Nothing like a moonlight dip,
eh, Mr. Mayor?
173
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:29,076
Please, just make your ransom demands
and get on with it.
174
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:33,789
Oh, no ransom this time, Hammy.
175
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:37,000
- You can't mean-
- Oh, yes, indeedy-do.
176
00:14:37,125 --> 00:14:41,797
Instead of taking you, the cops
and the Batman down separately,
177
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,216
I'm going to blast you all at once.
178
00:14:45,842 --> 00:14:47,928
Send down the plane, boys.
179
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:49,971
We're blowing town.
180
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:51,306
Literally.
181
00:14:51,723 --> 00:14:52,974
Yes, sir.
182
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,727
But all those innocent people.
183
00:14:56,019 --> 00:15:01,483
Some joke on them, eh?
Think of it as the ultimate punch line.
184
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:45,277
What? Hey!
185
00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:53,285
Gee, it's amazing what you find
in people's glove compartments.
186
00:15:54,369 --> 00:15:55,495
Harley?
187
00:15:55,745 --> 00:15:58,331
Hi, pudding. Miss me?
188
00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:03,044
You clever little minx.
189
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,297
How did you escape from Arkham?
190
00:16:05,672 --> 00:16:08,091
Batman sprung me so I could find you.
191
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:11,845
Had me all locked up
in his bad old car, too.
192
00:16:12,387 --> 00:16:13,472
Aww.
193
00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:16,308
Quinn, we had a deal!
194
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:20,854
Deal's off, B-man. No one ever said
anything about hurting Mr. J.
195
00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:37,037
Oh!
196
00:16:40,790 --> 00:16:43,418
10-minute countdown
sequence has been engaged.
197
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:44,753
Oh, my Lord.
198
00:16:45,378 --> 00:16:46,588
Come, my dear.
199
00:16:46,671 --> 00:16:50,759
We'll get to a safe altitude,
then watch the fireworks.
200
00:16:50,842 --> 00:16:52,761
It's lucky you were here, Harley.
201
00:16:52,969 --> 00:16:55,639
The countdown sequence
didn't leave Joker enough time
202
00:16:55,722 --> 00:16:57,682
to swing by Arkham and pick you up.
203
00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,476
Quiet, brat.
204
00:16:59,726 --> 00:17:02,437
You were gonna come back for me,
weren't you, pudding?
205
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:04,940
Of course, pumpkin pie.
206
00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:07,859
It's just that... Well, here you are,
207
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:10,529
so I can save myself a trip.
208
00:17:10,987 --> 00:17:12,447
But what about all our friends?
209
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:17,536
Ivy and Two-Face and hat guy
and lizard man and puppet head and-
210
00:17:17,994 --> 00:17:19,120
What about them?
211
00:17:19,412 --> 00:17:20,956
Don't forget your little pets.
212
00:17:21,998 --> 00:17:25,460
The babies!
We can't leave the babies!
213
00:17:25,835 --> 00:17:27,796
I'll buy you a goldfish!
214
00:17:27,879 --> 00:17:30,173
- Let's go!
- No!
215
00:17:30,423 --> 00:17:31,716
Why, you little-
216
00:17:56,866 --> 00:17:58,868
You know, Bats, I got a crazy idea
217
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:02,122
Mr. J. may not be the guy
for me after all.
218
00:18:43,121 --> 00:18:46,166
- Go around again!
- But, boss...
219
00:18:49,085 --> 00:18:51,796
- I said do it!
- Yes, sir.
220
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,352
Made it with time to spare.
221
00:19:34,881 --> 00:19:38,093
That bomb's going off
even if I go with it!
222
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:50,563
Laugh this off, pudding!
223
00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:11,376
Whoa!
224
00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:52,959
- Freeze, clown.
- Quinn, stop!
225
00:20:53,543 --> 00:20:55,086
He's mine, Bats.
226
00:20:59,632 --> 00:21:01,551
You wouldn't dare.
227
00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:05,180
You don't have the guts.
228
00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:09,476
Not in a million years would you-
229
00:21:29,537 --> 00:21:32,373
Baby, you're the greatest.
230
00:21:32,423 --> 00:21:36,973
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