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1
00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:39,472
- Hi, Grampy!
2
00:00:39,505 --> 00:00:40,540
- There you are!
3
00:00:40,573 --> 00:00:41,707
I thought you weren't gonna make
it.
4
00:00:41,740 --> 00:00:42,809
- Oh, no, have you been waiting?
5
00:00:42,842 --> 00:00:44,644
I told you I was running late.
6
00:00:44,677 --> 00:00:46,712
- Oh, I didn't see any message.
7
00:00:46,745 --> 00:00:47,613
- Oh, no, not on a phone.
8
00:00:47,646 --> 00:00:49,616
I sent you a thought on the
Hivemind.
9
00:00:51,283 --> 00:00:52,218
Let me just make sure it went
through.
10
00:00:52,251 --> 00:00:53,820
That's so odd.
11
00:00:55,721 --> 00:00:56,823
- I'm not on the Hivemind.
12
00:00:56,856 --> 00:00:57,557
- What?
13
00:00:57,590 --> 00:00:58,224
Why not?
14
00:00:58,258 --> 00:00:59,659
Everyone's on the Hivemind.
15
00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:00,827
- I like the Internet.
16
00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:01,861
What's wrong with that?
17
00:01:01,894 --> 00:01:03,796
- The Hivemind is so much
better.
18
00:01:03,829 --> 00:01:06,165
You can instantly exchange
thoughts and feelings
19
00:01:06,198 --> 00:01:09,335
or access the memories
of anyone on the planet.
20
00:01:09,368 --> 00:01:11,504
It's totally bleef.
21
00:01:11,537 --> 00:01:12,371
- I don't like how people
22
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,474
have their minds melded all the
time.
23
00:01:14,507 --> 00:01:17,510
Whatever happened to good,
old-fashioned conversation?
24
00:01:17,543 --> 00:01:20,713
Two people, together,
silently texting each other.
25
00:01:20,746 --> 00:01:22,882
- I guess things are different
now.
26
00:01:22,915 --> 00:01:24,851
- You're telling me.
27
00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:27,653
When I was your age,
everything was simple.
28
00:01:27,686 --> 00:01:29,222
You wanted to meet up with
somebody,
29
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:30,490
you sent them an evite.
30
00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:33,292
Then you sent them an email to
make sure they got the evite.
31
00:01:33,325 --> 00:01:35,361
And then, a couple days
later, you texted them,
32
00:01:35,394 --> 00:01:36,562
because they never answered.
33
00:01:36,595 --> 00:01:38,298
- Is everything okay?
34
00:01:39,465 --> 00:01:41,634
- I'm just a little lonely
since your grandma died.
35
00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:43,469
None of my old friends
36
00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:45,171
are answering any of their damn
texts.
37
00:01:45,204 --> 00:01:47,440
- That's because nobody texts
anymore.
38
00:01:48,841 --> 00:01:50,376
- Oh.
39
00:01:50,409 --> 00:01:52,411
- Grandpa, I know new
technology can be scary,
40
00:01:52,444 --> 00:01:53,579
but if you get on the Hivemind,
41
00:01:53,612 --> 00:01:55,581
you can use it to meet your
neighbors,
42
00:01:55,614 --> 00:01:57,350
or old friends from high school,
43
00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:59,886
or everyone in this park.
44
00:02:01,887 --> 00:02:03,890
- Hi, Appleby!
45
00:02:05,824 --> 00:02:08,528
- You'll never be alone again.
46
00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:11,797
- Can I use it to meet
my college girlfriend?
47
00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:13,499
- Of course, super easy!
48
00:02:13,532 --> 00:02:14,600
What brain tap do you use?
49
00:02:14,633 --> 00:02:15,735
Alpha Slug, or Flurm, or?
50
00:02:15,768 --> 00:02:17,303
- I don't know.
51
00:02:17,336 --> 00:02:19,239
I had it implanted so long ago.
52
00:02:20,539 --> 00:02:21,941
It's the one that makes you
53
00:02:21,974 --> 00:02:23,743
remember the smell of wet
leaves.
54
00:02:23,776 --> 00:02:25,211
- Cranial?
55
00:02:25,244 --> 00:02:26,445
That's a terrible brain tap.
56
00:02:26,478 --> 00:02:27,880
I'm gonna force sync you a
better one.
57
00:02:27,913 --> 00:02:28,581
- I'm sure that--
58
00:02:28,614 --> 00:02:30,683
I'm sure the Cranium is fine.
59
00:02:30,716 --> 00:02:31,918
- Cranial.
60
00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:33,252
- But okay, whatever.
61
00:02:33,285 --> 00:02:34,687
Just doublethink Cranial.
62
00:02:35,754 --> 00:02:36,956
- How the Hell do you
doublethink?
63
00:02:38,557 --> 00:02:41,594
- You just think about the
smell of wet leaves twice.
64
00:02:41,627 --> 00:02:43,229
- What do you mean, think twice?
65
00:02:43,262 --> 00:02:45,464
How do you think about something
twice?
66
00:02:45,497 --> 00:02:46,599
- You just think about it,
67
00:02:46,632 --> 00:02:47,833
and then you think about it
again.
68
00:02:47,866 --> 00:02:48,734
Like this.
69
00:02:59,511 --> 00:03:00,746
- Wait.
70
00:03:00,779 --> 00:03:01,681
What's happening?
71
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:05,551
I can hear the sound of
2000 teeth chattering.
72
00:03:05,584 --> 00:03:08,721
And I feel the sensation of
ground beef between my fingers.
73
00:03:08,754 --> 00:03:09,889
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, just ignore
that.
74
00:03:09,922 --> 00:03:10,923
- What's happening?
75
00:03:10,956 --> 00:03:11,891
- That's Cranial.
76
00:03:11,924 --> 00:03:12,958
It comes built in with these
sense prompts
77
00:03:12,992 --> 00:03:15,828
that supposedly ease you
into the whole experience,
78
00:03:15,861 --> 00:03:17,697
but it kinda just clutters
everything up.
79
00:03:17,730 --> 00:03:20,533
Are you sure you don't want
me to force sync you Flurm?
80
00:03:20,566 --> 00:03:22,202
- Yes, yes, I'm sure.
81
00:03:22,968 --> 00:03:24,870
- Okay, well, after
these feelings subside,
82
00:03:24,903 --> 00:03:27,207
you should be launched into the
Hivemind.
83
00:03:34,313 --> 00:03:34,981
- See?
84
00:03:35,014 --> 00:03:35,915
Look at all these great thoughts
85
00:03:35,948 --> 00:03:37,683
everyone else in the world is
thinking.
86
00:03:37,716 --> 00:03:38,684
- Make it stop!
87
00:03:38,717 --> 00:03:39,719
- Try to focus on me.
88
00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:40,753
Focus on my voice.
89
00:03:45,924 --> 00:03:47,293
- What the Hell is this?
90
00:03:47,993 --> 00:03:49,028
Why are there so many of us?
91
00:03:49,061 --> 00:03:50,930
- I'm thinking of you,
and you're thinking of me,
92
00:03:50,963 --> 00:03:52,665
but we're also syncing
each other's thoughts,
93
00:03:52,698 --> 00:03:54,400
so you're thinking of me
thinking of you
94
00:03:54,433 --> 00:03:56,369
and I'm thinking of you
thinking of me thinking of you,
95
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:57,003
and so on.
96
00:03:57,036 --> 00:03:58,504
Does that make sense?
97
00:03:58,537 --> 00:04:00,006
- No.
98
00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:01,374
I hate this.
99
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:02,575
I don't want to do this anymore.
100
00:04:02,608 --> 00:04:03,809
- You're doing great.
101
00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:05,711
I thought you wanted to try
and find your old girlfriend.
102
00:04:05,744 --> 00:04:06,412
- Rebecca Heath.
103
00:04:06,445 --> 00:04:07,914
- Great, just doublethink her.
104
00:04:17,389 --> 00:04:19,058
- Rebecca, is that really you?
105
00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:21,060
- Hello, Travis.
106
00:04:21,093 --> 00:04:23,562
I see you're finally in the
Hivemind.
107
00:04:23,595 --> 00:04:24,897
- This is incredible.
108
00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:26,399
It's been so long.
109
00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:29,769
How are you, what have you been
up to?
110
00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:31,437
God, there's so much to say.
111
00:04:31,470 --> 00:04:32,839
- There sure is.
112
00:04:33,739 --> 00:04:34,540
Here.
113
00:04:39,078 --> 00:04:40,780
Well, it was nice catching up.
114
00:04:40,813 --> 00:04:41,481
- Wh-- what?
115
00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:42,649
- Think of me again sometime.
116
00:04:43,982 --> 00:04:44,917
- That's it?
117
00:04:46,418 --> 00:04:47,954
- Aw, that's so sweet.
118
00:04:48,887 --> 00:04:51,057
- No, it was nothing.
119
00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:52,058
- You both shared
120
00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:53,860
every detail about your
life with each other.
121
00:04:55,127 --> 00:04:57,930
- What happened to real
friendship?
122
00:04:57,963 --> 00:04:59,965
People you saw everyday,
123
00:04:59,998 --> 00:05:01,000
on Facebook,
124
00:05:01,033 --> 00:05:02,568
when you scrolled past them.
125
00:05:02,601 --> 00:05:03,769
- I'm sorry, Grandpa.
126
00:05:03,802 --> 00:05:04,737
I know how you feel.
127
00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:06,372
- No, you don't.
128
00:05:06,405 --> 00:05:07,540
You're too young to know how I
feel.
129
00:05:07,573 --> 00:05:09,442
- No, I mean I literally
know how you feel.
130
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,077
I'm tapped into all your
thoughts.
131
00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:12,011
Remember?
132
00:05:12,044 --> 00:05:13,045
We all are.
133
00:05:13,078 --> 00:05:15,081
- But why?
134
00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:17,750
Whatever happened to privacy?
135
00:05:17,783 --> 00:05:19,885
In my day, we only shared things
we liked,
136
00:05:19,918 --> 00:05:20,986
and things we hated,
137
00:05:21,019 --> 00:05:22,488
and our meals,
138
00:05:22,521 --> 00:05:24,824
and our current mood, job, and
location,
139
00:05:24,857 --> 00:05:26,459
and pictures of our genitals,
140
00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:27,927
and pictures of naked
celebrities
141
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,528
that we hacked from their
phones,
142
00:05:29,561 --> 00:05:31,497
but not everything!
143
00:05:33,966 --> 00:05:35,968
I want to get out of this thing.
144
00:05:36,001 --> 00:05:37,002
How do I get out of this thing?
145
00:05:37,035 --> 00:05:37,970
- You don't.
146
00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:38,938
That's the whole point.
147
00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:41,507
We're all connected,
and you're never alone.
148
00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:42,341
- No.
149
00:05:42,374 --> 00:05:44,510
It's too much, it's way too
much.
150
00:05:44,543 --> 00:05:46,379
- Sure, yeah, there are some bad
parts,
151
00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:49,648
but look at what the Hivemind
can do.
152
00:05:49,681 --> 00:05:51,717
It's brought humanity together.
153
00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:53,018
War is over.
154
00:05:53,051 --> 00:05:53,852
With a single thought,
155
00:05:53,885 --> 00:05:55,154
you can feel the wind on your
face
156
00:05:55,187 --> 00:05:56,355
from the other side of the
world,
157
00:05:56,388 --> 00:05:59,692
or feel the combined power
of all the love in the world,
158
00:05:59,725 --> 00:06:03,996
or truly understand a single
person with 100% empathy.
159
00:06:04,029 --> 00:06:05,531
- Yes!
160
00:06:05,564 --> 00:06:06,432
Yes!
161
00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:08,267
Wow!
162
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,802
- And there's so much you can
give.
163
00:06:09,835 --> 00:06:11,837
Your wisdom, the love
you felt for Grandma,
164
00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:12,938
your bank account info, the
feeling
165
00:06:12,971 --> 00:06:14,974
of holding your granddaughter
for the first time.
166
00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:16,041
- Wait, wait.
167
00:06:16,074 --> 00:06:18,611
What was that last thing you
said?
168
00:06:18,644 --> 00:06:20,579
- Grampy, who you talking to?
169
00:06:20,612 --> 00:06:23,049
- Welcome to the Hivemind,
sucker!
170
00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:27,053
- Shit!
171
00:06:27,086 --> 00:06:28,187
You didn't think about
any sensitive information
172
00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:29,455
around her, did you?
173
00:06:29,488 --> 00:06:30,423
- What the Hell is happening?
174
00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:31,090
- That wasn't me!
175
00:06:31,123 --> 00:06:32,091
That was someone who just
176
00:06:32,124 --> 00:06:33,893
used my thoughts,
feelings, and experiences
177
00:06:33,926 --> 00:06:35,661
to pretend to be me.
178
00:06:35,694 --> 00:06:36,962
It's a brain phishing scam.
179
00:06:36,995 --> 00:06:37,896
- How am I supposed to know
that?
180
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:39,532
- Couldn't you tell that that
wasn't me?
181
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:40,833
- No, it...
182
00:06:40,866 --> 00:06:41,967
looked exactly like you.
183
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,036
I don't even know when real you
left.
184
00:06:44,069 --> 00:06:44,937
- Really, Grandpa?
185
00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:46,505
I think it's pretty obvious.
186
00:06:46,538 --> 00:06:49,775
- This is just as horrible
as I thought it would be!
187
00:06:49,808 --> 00:06:51,210
Just log me out.
188
00:06:51,243 --> 00:06:52,978
- Nobody says, "Log out"
anymore.
189
00:06:53,011 --> 00:06:54,847
- I don't care!
190
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,882
I don't care what people do
today.
191
00:06:56,915 --> 00:06:58,084
I don't need them.
192
00:06:59,151 --> 00:07:02,021
Just, how do I get out of this
thing?
193
00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:04,490
- Just unthink the smell of wet
leaves.
194
00:07:04,523 --> 00:07:06,058
- What do you mean, unthink?
195
00:07:06,091 --> 00:07:07,059
Look, nevermind.
196
00:07:07,092 --> 00:07:08,060
Nevermind.
197
00:07:08,093 --> 00:07:10,062
I'll figure it out.
198
00:07:19,271 --> 00:07:20,806
Sorry I snapped at you.
199
00:07:20,839 --> 00:07:21,874
- That's okay.
200
00:07:21,907 --> 00:07:24,677
I could think that you
were going through a lot.
201
00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:26,745
And all your money was stolen.
202
00:07:26,778 --> 00:07:28,581
- I didn't need this Hivemind
before,
203
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:29,782
and I don't need it now.
204
00:07:30,682 --> 00:07:32,585
- Oh, okay.
205
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:35,187
See you next week, Grampy.
206
00:07:35,220 --> 00:07:36,722
Sorry.
207
00:08:09,855 --> 00:08:10,689
- Hello.
208
00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:12,124
Thank you for installing Alpha
Slug.
209
00:08:12,157 --> 00:08:13,092
To tap into the Hivemind,
210
00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:15,561
just doublethink the
feeling of deep shame.
211
00:08:15,594 --> 00:08:17,763
If you are having trouble
connecting to the Hivemind,
212
00:08:17,796 --> 00:08:19,732
try sleeping for 15 seconds.
213
00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:21,300
If this does not resolve the
issue,
214
00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:23,669
ensure your thought probe
is properly installed
215
00:08:23,702 --> 00:08:26,205
by removing and reinserting
it into your skull.
216
00:08:26,238 --> 00:08:29,008
This may require light surgical
knowledge.
217
00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:32,044
Please use caution when using
Hivemind to view pornography,
218
00:08:32,077 --> 00:08:33,846
as you will experience the
sensation
219
00:08:33,879 --> 00:08:36,148
of thousands of simultaneous
orgasms.
220
00:08:36,181 --> 00:08:39,251
Do not think too hard about
the logic of the Hivemind.
221
00:08:39,284 --> 00:08:42,254
Do not think about the Hivemind
while within the Hivemind.
222
00:08:42,287 --> 00:08:43,289
Have fun.
15269
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