Original subtitles

- Hey sis.

Can I stay here tonight?

Someone wanted to AirBNB my place

and you know.

Cool, thanks!

- You really should warn me before you do this.

- I know, I know.

I've just been so busy.

- You got a job?

- I've got jobs!

I've been Task Rabbiting

and Ubering

and Crowdsharing

and Park Squatting

and Rex Swapping.

- Is that that pet sharing app?

- Yeah.

- I still don't get how that works.

- Well you know how sometimes you don't want your pet?

- Well, maybe it's time you got a real job.

- These are real jobs.

I'm making money.

I'm my own boss.

I have total freedom.

- Just take care of yourself okay?

- I will.

- Goodnight.

- Night.

- Let's go back to Liz in weather.

- Soul-mate, the app that finds your--

- Productivity.

Efficiency.

A scientist working at a computer.

This is what we think of

when we think of progress.

And this progress is progressing.

Today.

Forget about those old low-paying apps

that treat you like a commodity.

And experience a new low-paying app

that treats you like a commodity.

Earn money while you sleep.

With Snoozlr.

Humans of the past spent a third of their lives

squandering earning potential

by sleeping.

Humans of progress use Snoozlr

to sell their helping hands while they sleep.

Get sleep.

Get paid.

Get a better world.

Snoozlr.

It's Uber

but like for people.

- Download Snoozlr app.

- Downloading now.

- Finally.

And here we go!

- Hey, Snoozlr

I need you to come over and make breakfast in bed

for me and my wife.

- Task started.

Arrived!

Great breakfast!

Breakfast is served.

- Breakfast served!

- Oh, Snoozlr that's right.

Thanks man.

What is this?

What is this!

- You've earned 25 dollars.

- Oh sweet.

Oh shit!

- Thank you for calling Snoozlr support

how can I help you?

- Hi yes.

I was completing a Snoozlr task last night

and I woke up to a very dirty couch.

Also I have some lingering concerns

on the nature of free-will

under Snoozlr's control.

- Oh I'm sorry sir.

Snoozlr just helps coordinate busy people and Snoozlrs.

We assume no liability for damages.

Physical or existential.

- Okay it's a very dirty couch.

- It is all in the terms and conditions

you agreed to the first time you Snoozlerd.

- But I wasn't in control of my body

the first time I Snoozlerd

so, hello?

Hello?

- What did you do to my couch?

- I'm so sorry.

I was Snoozlering last night.

- Oh gross.

- No, no, no.

I mean I'm using Snoozlr now

and I guess I did something sticky?

- Snoozlr?

Jason no.

They treat their employees so poorly.

- Okay.

Technically I'm not an employee

I'm property.

But this is great.

While you go to your dingy little office

and slave away.

- I'm a land-scaper.

- I have the whole day ahead of me

to do whatever I want.

- Uh-huh and what are you gonna do

with all this free time?

- I might take a nap.

My eyes feel like sand-paper.

- Okay, well I should be back around six

if you want to grab dinner.

Jason.

Jason?

Jason?

Oh!

- Scab!

- Thank you for calling Snoozlr support.

- Something terrible happened.

There's blood everywhere

and my joints hurt.

- I'm sorry

but Snoozlr's not responsible for any damage to your person.

- I'm so tired.

- Snoozlr is not responsible for any fatigue

that may occur while Snoozling.

- I'm done.

I'm done.

I'm done with the whole company.

You can't treat people like this.

- But aren't a few dings and scratches

worth total freedom?

- I'm a mindless slave.

- Isn't a little mindless slavery

worth total freedom?

- I want to cancel my account.

- But there is no canceling Jason.

- I want to cancel my account.

- Good-bye.

- Damn Snoozlr!

- Hi Snoozlr.

- Oh hey!

- I want you to march to the home

of the Snoozlr CEO

and demand your rights and protections

as a human being

and a God-damn American.

- Task started!

- Sweetie.

- Mh-hmm.

- Another Snoozlr problem on the lawn.

- What?

Again?

Ugh.

Alright, I'll take care of it.

- This is your wake-up call!

Generations of Americans have fought for workers rights

and you can't just erase them!

- What can I do for you?

- We demand dignity!

We demand protection!

We demand--

- What the hell is he saying?

- Oh who can ever tell?

- What are you saying?

- The inalienable rights of all humans!

- I hear your words and I am moved.

Moved!

Move!

You're trespassing.

- Go home!

- Your brain is gonna explode

the minute I touch this button.

Will send a message to the corporate offices

that all rights of Snoozlrs

will not be infringed.

- We did it!

We made change!

- Good-bye Jason.

- What?

Good-bye Jason?

Cancel, cancel task!

Let me out!

Let me out!

No!

- You've been rated one out of five stars.

You did a terrible job.

Sweet dreams, Snoozlr.

- Thank you for calling Snoozlr support

how can I help you?

- Hi.

I woke up from a Snoozlr task

and I'm naked on the Jersey Turnpike.

- Snoozlr's not responsible

for transportation fees incurred while Snoozlring.

- What?

- Have a nice day!

- Hi, thanks for calling Snoozlr support.

- Help!

I think I killed someone.

I didn't want to

but I was Snoozering.

- We are so sorry you had a bad experience.

Your account will be credited with ten dollars.

- What?

But I need help!

- Okay, bye then.

- Hello!

Thanks for calling Snoozlr support.

- You have to do something!

Someone has raised an army of Snoozlrs.

And they've taken over the whole town!

- Wow, I'm sorry sir.

What is your Snoozlr account number?

- No!

I'm not a Snoozlr user.

My problem is--

- I'm afraid we only help individuals

with Snoozlr accounts.

But have a nice day!

- No don't hang up, don't hang up!