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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:23,089 --> 00:00:23,689 - Hey sis. 2 00:00:23,722 --> 00:00:24,523 Can I stay here tonight? 3 00:00:24,556 --> 00:00:26,292 Someone wanted to AirBNB my place 4 00:00:26,325 --> 00:00:27,760 and you know. 5 00:00:27,793 --> 00:00:28,762 Cool, thanks! 6 00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,831 - You really should warn me before you do this. 7 00:00:31,864 --> 00:00:32,665 - I know, I know. 8 00:00:32,698 --> 00:00:34,167 I've just been so busy. 9 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,068 - You got a job? 10 00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:37,103 - I've got jobs! 11 00:00:37,136 --> 00:00:38,471 I've been Task Rabbiting 12 00:00:38,504 --> 00:00:39,539 and Ubering 13 00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:41,240 and Crowdsharing 14 00:00:41,273 --> 00:00:42,408 and Park Squatting 15 00:00:42,441 --> 00:00:43,576 and Rex Swapping. 16 00:00:43,609 --> 00:00:44,844 - Is that that pet sharing app? 17 00:00:44,877 --> 00:00:45,678 - Yeah. 18 00:00:45,711 --> 00:00:46,813 - I still don't get how that works. 19 00:00:46,846 --> 00:00:48,681 - Well you know how sometimes you don't want your pet? 20 00:00:48,714 --> 00:00:50,416 - Well, maybe it's time you got a real job. 21 00:00:50,449 --> 00:00:51,617 - These are real jobs. 22 00:00:51,650 --> 00:00:52,685 I'm making money. 23 00:00:52,718 --> 00:00:53,753 I'm my own boss. 24 00:00:53,786 --> 00:00:55,755 I have total freedom. 25 00:00:57,123 --> 00:00:59,692 - Just take care of yourself okay? 26 00:00:59,725 --> 00:01:01,260 - I will. 27 00:01:01,293 --> 00:01:01,761 - Goodnight. 28 00:01:01,794 --> 00:01:02,529 - Night. 29 00:01:10,369 --> 00:01:11,771 - Let's go back to Liz in weather. 30 00:01:11,804 --> 00:01:14,140 - Soul-mate, the app that finds your-- 31 00:01:14,173 --> 00:01:15,575 - Productivity. 32 00:01:16,742 --> 00:01:17,744 Efficiency. 33 00:01:18,711 --> 00:01:21,181 A scientist working at a computer. 34 00:01:22,381 --> 00:01:23,516 This is what we think of 35 00:01:23,549 --> 00:01:25,351 when we think of progress. 36 00:01:25,384 --> 00:01:27,386 And this progress is progressing. 37 00:01:27,419 --> 00:01:28,221 Today. 38 00:01:30,222 --> 00:01:32,458 Forget about those old low-paying apps 39 00:01:32,491 --> 00:01:34,460 that treat you like a commodity. 40 00:01:34,493 --> 00:01:36,529 And experience a new low-paying app 41 00:01:36,562 --> 00:01:38,598 that treats you like a commodity. 42 00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:40,466 Earn money while you sleep. 43 00:01:40,499 --> 00:01:41,768 With Snoozlr. 44 00:01:43,469 --> 00:01:45,371 Humans of the past spent a third of their lives 45 00:01:45,404 --> 00:01:46,672 squandering earning potential 46 00:01:46,705 --> 00:01:48,141 by sleeping. 47 00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:51,310 Humans of progress use Snoozlr 48 00:01:51,343 --> 00:01:54,114 to sell their helping hands while they sleep. 49 00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:55,882 Get sleep. 50 00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:57,150 Get paid. 51 00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:58,451 Get a better world. 52 00:01:59,385 --> 00:02:00,853 Snoozlr. 53 00:02:00,886 --> 00:02:01,787 It's Uber 54 00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:04,124 but like for people. 55 00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:07,326 - Download Snoozlr app. 56 00:02:07,359 --> 00:02:09,329 - Downloading now. 57 00:02:16,769 --> 00:02:18,204 - Finally. 58 00:02:18,237 --> 00:02:19,772 And here we go! 59 00:02:43,896 --> 00:02:44,897 - Hey, Snoozlr 60 00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:46,933 I need you to come over and make breakfast in bed 61 00:02:46,966 --> 00:02:48,801 for me and my wife. 62 00:02:49,702 --> 00:02:50,970 - Task started. 63 00:03:05,517 --> 00:03:06,419 Arrived! 64 00:03:31,810 --> 00:03:33,379 Great breakfast! 65 00:03:41,820 --> 00:03:43,322 Breakfast is served. 66 00:03:43,355 --> 00:03:44,757 - Breakfast served! 67 00:03:46,659 --> 00:03:47,727 - Oh, Snoozlr that's right. 68 00:03:48,961 --> 00:03:49,796 Thanks man. 69 00:03:52,464 --> 00:03:53,366 What is this? 70 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,301 What is this! 71 00:04:00,072 --> 00:04:01,974 - You've earned 25 dollars. 72 00:04:02,007 --> 00:04:03,309 - Oh sweet. 73 00:04:07,846 --> 00:04:09,549 Oh shit! 74 00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:13,786 - Thank you for calling Snoozlr support 75 00:04:13,819 --> 00:04:14,854 how can I help you? 76 00:04:14,887 --> 00:04:15,788 - Hi yes. 77 00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:18,457 I was completing a Snoozlr task last night 78 00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:20,660 and I woke up to a very dirty couch. 79 00:04:20,693 --> 00:04:22,295 Also I have some lingering concerns 80 00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:22,995 on the nature of free-will 81 00:04:23,028 --> 00:04:24,664 under Snoozlr's control. 82 00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:25,865 - Oh I'm sorry sir. 83 00:04:25,898 --> 00:04:28,501 Snoozlr just helps coordinate busy people and Snoozlrs. 84 00:04:28,534 --> 00:04:30,503 We assume no liability for damages. 85 00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:32,038 Physical or existential. 86 00:04:32,071 --> 00:04:33,973 - Okay it's a very dirty couch. 87 00:04:34,006 --> 00:04:35,474 - It is all in the terms and conditions 88 00:04:35,507 --> 00:04:37,310 you agreed to the first time you Snoozlerd. 89 00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:38,377 - But I wasn't in control of my body 90 00:04:38,410 --> 00:04:39,412 the first time I Snoozlerd 91 00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:40,913 so, hello? 92 00:04:40,946 --> 00:04:41,681 Hello? 93 00:04:44,850 --> 00:04:46,485 - What did you do to my couch? 94 00:04:46,518 --> 00:04:48,321 - I'm so sorry. 95 00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:49,855 I was Snoozlering last night. 96 00:04:49,888 --> 00:04:50,589 - Oh gross. 97 00:04:50,622 --> 00:04:51,256 - No, no, no. 98 00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:52,725 I mean I'm using Snoozlr now 99 00:04:52,758 --> 00:04:55,795 and I guess I did something sticky? 100 00:04:55,828 --> 00:04:56,829 - Snoozlr? 101 00:04:56,862 --> 00:04:57,696 Jason no. 102 00:04:57,730 --> 00:04:59,098 They treat their employees so poorly. 103 00:04:59,131 --> 00:04:59,799 - Okay. 104 00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:01,600 Technically I'm not an employee 105 00:05:01,633 --> 00:05:03,369 I'm property. 106 00:05:03,402 --> 00:05:04,303 But this is great. 107 00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:07,573 While you go to your dingy little office 108 00:05:07,606 --> 00:05:08,841 and slave away. 109 00:05:08,874 --> 00:05:09,642 - I'm a land-scaper. 110 00:05:09,675 --> 00:05:11,043 - I have the whole day ahead of me 111 00:05:11,076 --> 00:05:12,678 to do whatever I want. 112 00:05:12,711 --> 00:05:13,746 - Uh-huh and what are you gonna do 113 00:05:13,779 --> 00:05:15,581 with all this free time? 114 00:05:15,614 --> 00:05:16,982 - I might take a nap. 115 00:05:17,015 --> 00:05:18,851 My eyes feel like sand-paper. 116 00:05:18,884 --> 00:05:20,353 - Okay, well I should be back around six 117 00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:21,520 if you want to grab dinner. 118 00:05:23,055 --> 00:05:23,790 Jason. 119 00:05:25,891 --> 00:05:27,426 Jason? 120 00:05:27,459 --> 00:05:28,428 Jason? 121 00:05:29,428 --> 00:05:30,430 Oh! 122 00:05:53,919 --> 00:05:54,754 - Scab! 123 00:06:04,463 --> 00:06:05,831 - Thank you for calling Snoozlr support. 124 00:06:05,864 --> 00:06:07,500 - Something terrible happened. 125 00:06:08,867 --> 00:06:09,869 There's blood everywhere 126 00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:11,504 and my joints hurt. 127 00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:12,772 - I'm sorry 128 00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:15,541 but Snoozlr's not responsible for any damage to your person. 129 00:06:15,574 --> 00:06:16,742 - I'm so tired. 130 00:06:16,775 --> 00:06:18,677 - Snoozlr is not responsible for any fatigue 131 00:06:18,710 --> 00:06:20,546 that may occur while Snoozling. 132 00:06:20,579 --> 00:06:21,514 - I'm done. 133 00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:22,215 I'm done. 134 00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:23,049 I'm done with the whole company. 135 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:25,117 You can't treat people like this. 136 00:06:25,150 --> 00:06:26,685 - But aren't a few dings and scratches 137 00:06:26,718 --> 00:06:28,120 worth total freedom? 138 00:06:28,153 --> 00:06:29,889 - I'm a mindless slave. 139 00:06:29,922 --> 00:06:31,590 - Isn't a little mindless slavery 140 00:06:31,623 --> 00:06:33,459 worth total freedom? 141 00:06:33,492 --> 00:06:34,894 - I want to cancel my account. 142 00:06:34,927 --> 00:06:37,129 - But there is no canceling Jason. 143 00:06:37,162 --> 00:06:40,032 - I want to cancel my account. 144 00:06:40,065 --> 00:06:40,966 - Good-bye. 145 00:06:40,999 --> 00:06:42,468 - Damn Snoozlr! 146 00:06:55,814 --> 00:06:56,782 - Hi Snoozlr. 147 00:06:56,815 --> 00:06:58,050 - Oh hey! 148 00:06:58,083 --> 00:06:59,752 - I want you to march to the home 149 00:06:59,785 --> 00:07:01,454 of the Snoozlr CEO 150 00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:03,055 and demand your rights and protections 151 00:07:03,088 --> 00:07:04,223 as a human being 152 00:07:04,256 --> 00:07:06,058 and a God-damn American. 153 00:07:06,091 --> 00:07:07,427 - Task started! 154 00:07:20,706 --> 00:07:21,173 - Sweetie. 155 00:07:21,206 --> 00:07:22,541 - Mh-hmm. 156 00:07:22,574 --> 00:07:24,810 - Another Snoozlr problem on the lawn. 157 00:07:24,843 --> 00:07:25,644 - What? 158 00:07:25,677 --> 00:07:26,946 Again? 159 00:07:26,979 --> 00:07:28,547 Ugh. 160 00:07:28,580 --> 00:07:30,049 Alright, I'll take care of it. 161 00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:32,718 - This is your wake-up call! 162 00:07:32,751 --> 00:07:35,087 Generations of Americans have fought for workers rights 163 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:37,022 and you can't just erase them! 164 00:07:45,831 --> 00:07:48,067 - What can I do for you? 165 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:49,502 - We demand dignity! 166 00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:50,836 We demand protection! 167 00:07:50,869 --> 00:07:51,804 We demand-- 168 00:07:57,709 --> 00:07:58,944 - What the hell is he saying? 169 00:07:58,977 --> 00:08:00,980 - Oh who can ever tell? 170 00:08:01,013 --> 00:08:02,081 - What are you saying? 171 00:08:07,853 --> 00:08:10,990 - The inalienable rights of all humans! 172 00:08:11,023 --> 00:08:13,726 - I hear your words and I am moved. 173 00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:14,727 Moved! 174 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:15,261 Move! 175 00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:16,595 You're trespassing. 176 00:08:16,628 --> 00:08:17,563 - Go home! 177 00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:20,165 - Your brain is gonna explode 178 00:08:20,198 --> 00:08:22,635 the minute I touch this button. 179 00:08:23,602 --> 00:08:26,105 Will send a message to the corporate offices 180 00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:27,706 that all rights of Snoozlrs 181 00:08:27,739 --> 00:08:29,742 will not be infringed. 182 00:08:31,610 --> 00:08:32,144 - We did it! 183 00:08:32,177 --> 00:08:33,846 We made change! 184 00:08:45,624 --> 00:08:46,759 - Good-bye Jason. 185 00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:47,193 - What? 186 00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:48,294 Good-bye Jason? 187 00:08:48,327 --> 00:08:50,062 Cancel, cancel task! 188 00:08:50,095 --> 00:08:51,030 Let me out! 189 00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:52,064 Let me out! 190 00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:54,233 No! 191 00:08:56,668 --> 00:08:58,771 - You've been rated one out of five stars. 192 00:08:58,804 --> 00:09:00,606 You did a terrible job. 193 00:09:00,639 --> 00:09:02,608 Sweet dreams, Snoozlr. 194 00:09:06,445 --> 00:09:07,780 - Thank you for calling Snoozlr support 195 00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:08,781 how can I help you? 196 00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:09,482 - Hi. 197 00:09:09,515 --> 00:09:11,016 I woke up from a Snoozlr task 198 00:09:11,049 --> 00:09:12,952 and I'm naked on the Jersey Turnpike. 199 00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:14,020 - Snoozlr's not responsible 200 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,155 for transportation fees incurred while Snoozlring. 201 00:09:16,188 --> 00:09:16,856 - What? 202 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,123 - Have a nice day! 203 00:09:19,257 --> 00:09:20,726 - Hi, thanks for calling Snoozlr support. 204 00:09:20,759 --> 00:09:21,360 - Help! 205 00:09:21,393 --> 00:09:22,094 I think I killed someone. 206 00:09:22,127 --> 00:09:22,661 I didn't want to 207 00:09:22,694 --> 00:09:23,862 but I was Snoozering. 208 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:25,798 - We are so sorry you had a bad experience. 209 00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:27,866 Your account will be credited with ten dollars. 210 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:29,234 - What? 211 00:09:29,267 --> 00:09:29,935 But I need help! 212 00:09:29,968 --> 00:09:31,036 - Okay, bye then. 213 00:09:32,037 --> 00:09:32,805 - Hello! 214 00:09:32,838 --> 00:09:33,706 Thanks for calling Snoozlr support. 215 00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:34,640 - You have to do something! 216 00:09:34,673 --> 00:09:38,611 Someone has raised an army of Snoozlrs. 217 00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:41,146 And they've taken over the whole town! 218 00:09:41,179 --> 00:09:42,214 - Wow, I'm sorry sir. 219 00:09:42,247 --> 00:09:43,349 What is your Snoozlr account number? 220 00:09:43,382 --> 00:09:43,916 - No! 221 00:09:43,949 --> 00:09:45,351 I'm not a Snoozlr user. 222 00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:46,352 My problem is-- 223 00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:48,153 - I'm afraid we only help individuals 224 00:09:48,186 --> 00:09:49,722 with Snoozlr accounts. 225 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:51,023 But have a nice day! 226 00:09:51,056 --> 00:09:52,825 - No don't hang up, don't hang up! 14237

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