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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,583 --> 00:00:19,285 - Oh, his laugh. 2 00:00:19,318 --> 00:00:20,520 - Her smile. 3 00:00:20,553 --> 00:00:21,488 - His ambition. 4 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,523 - The way she looks at me when we wake up. 5 00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:24,524 - His teeth. 6 00:00:24,557 --> 00:00:25,825 - Her teeth. 7 00:00:25,858 --> 00:00:27,193 - You like my teeth? 8 00:00:27,226 --> 00:00:29,162 - I love your teeth. 9 00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:31,531 - Come and get my teeth. 10 00:00:33,566 --> 00:00:36,636 - I love watching people kiss. 11 00:00:36,669 --> 00:00:39,205 I'm Martin Whistlebottom, CEO of Soulmate, 12 00:00:39,238 --> 00:00:41,574 the app that finds your perfect match. 13 00:00:41,607 --> 00:00:43,810 It's not a list of potential dates, 14 00:00:43,843 --> 00:00:45,778 it's one person, your soulmate. 15 00:00:45,811 --> 00:00:46,846 - I want you inside me. 16 00:00:46,879 --> 00:00:48,815 - Will I get to watch you kiss them on the lips? 17 00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:52,452 Oh, gosh, I'd sure like to. 18 00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:56,322 Stop swiping, stop searching, start loving. 19 00:00:56,355 --> 00:00:57,790 - We found ours. 20 00:00:57,823 --> 00:00:58,691 - Find yours. 21 00:00:58,724 --> 00:01:01,327 - Soulmate. Find yours. 22 00:01:03,195 --> 00:01:04,230 - Kortiri? 23 00:01:04,263 --> 00:01:05,231 - Hi Seth. 24 00:01:05,264 --> 00:01:07,667 - Go to the marketplace and download Soulmate. 25 00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,769 - Downloading now. 26 00:01:09,802 --> 00:01:11,637 - Welcome to Soulmate. Find yours. 27 00:01:11,670 --> 00:01:13,706 Before beginning, please carefully read the Terms of-- 28 00:01:13,739 --> 00:01:14,607 - Agree. 29 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:15,708 - Great. 30 00:01:15,741 --> 00:01:18,177 Soulmate works by analyzing your browser history. 31 00:01:18,210 --> 00:01:18,678 Do we have your permission-- 32 00:01:18,711 --> 00:01:19,312 - Yes. 33 00:01:19,345 --> 00:01:20,280 - Great. 34 00:01:20,313 --> 00:01:21,514 Can we take a photo of you for your match? 35 00:01:21,547 --> 00:01:25,184 - Uh, yeah, let me just, uh-- 36 00:01:25,217 --> 00:01:28,387 - Great. Finding your true Soulmate is just one step away. 37 00:01:28,420 --> 00:01:30,523 To match, just say "find mine". 38 00:01:32,191 --> 00:01:33,259 - Find mine. 39 00:01:33,292 --> 00:01:34,527 - Great. Here goes. 40 00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:41,367 No match found. 41 00:01:43,335 --> 00:01:44,537 - Redo the search. 42 00:01:47,239 --> 00:01:48,842 - No match found. 43 00:01:49,842 --> 00:01:51,310 - Redo the search. 44 00:01:52,811 --> 00:01:54,714 - No match found. 45 00:01:54,747 --> 00:01:55,682 - See? 46 00:01:55,715 --> 00:01:57,617 - It matches everybody, I don't understand. 47 00:01:57,650 --> 00:01:58,885 - I called the company and complained 48 00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:00,253 and the girl who answered hung up. 49 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:01,821 She said I was screwing with her. 50 00:02:01,854 --> 00:02:02,855 - Some girls like that. 51 00:02:06,258 --> 00:02:07,426 - Whatever, there's no way it really works. 52 00:02:07,459 --> 00:02:08,194 - Are you kidding me? 53 00:02:08,227 --> 00:02:09,061 It's how we met. 54 00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:10,563 - Yeah. I don't know anyone who didn't 55 00:02:10,596 --> 00:02:12,231 meet through Soulmate anymore. 56 00:02:12,264 --> 00:02:13,333 I mean, look. 57 00:02:17,269 --> 00:02:17,937 - Gross. 58 00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:19,372 - Oh, you're just being bitter. 59 00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:21,440 - Yeah, you're being a bitter boy. 60 00:02:21,473 --> 00:02:23,376 You're being like a bitter... 61 00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:24,410 Like if, like, you're being bitter-- 62 00:02:24,443 --> 00:02:25,811 Like if you were a... 63 00:02:25,844 --> 00:02:27,246 - Yeah, you got it babe. 64 00:02:27,279 --> 00:02:27,813 - Okay. 65 00:02:27,846 --> 00:02:28,447 - You got something... 66 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:29,882 - Oh, like a black coffee! 67 00:02:29,915 --> 00:02:30,516 - There you go! 68 00:02:30,549 --> 00:02:31,717 You're a black coffee boy. 69 00:02:32,985 --> 00:02:35,221 - Here we go, three Cabernets. 70 00:02:35,254 --> 00:02:37,190 Did I hear you say you wanted a black coffee? 71 00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,659 - No, evidently I'm being a "black coffee boy". 72 00:02:39,692 --> 00:02:40,893 - Oh. Well, that's too bad, 73 00:02:40,926 --> 00:02:42,695 'cause I only serve green tea boys. 74 00:02:45,364 --> 00:02:47,567 - Oh no, oh. You can't have Cabernet with tomato sauce. 75 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,535 - Ugh, all right. 76 00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:51,237 Other than being a weird dick about wine, 77 00:02:51,270 --> 00:02:53,806 you're a good guy and you'll find a match. 78 00:02:53,839 --> 00:02:55,408 Go to the company and complain. 79 00:02:55,441 --> 00:02:56,976 - What, like, go to the corporate headquarters? 80 00:02:57,009 --> 00:02:58,611 No. I'm not that desperate. 81 00:02:58,644 --> 00:03:00,546 I will find someone without some-- 82 00:03:24,503 --> 00:03:25,438 - Excuse me. 83 00:03:27,706 --> 00:03:28,641 Excuse me! 84 00:03:28,674 --> 00:03:29,909 - Oh! 85 00:03:29,942 --> 00:03:31,010 - Welcome to Burger King. 86 00:03:33,812 --> 00:03:35,314 Sorry. Um, eh-hem. 87 00:03:35,347 --> 00:03:37,750 Welcome to Soulmate. Find yours. 88 00:03:37,783 --> 00:03:39,719 - Um, my app isn't working. 89 00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:42,788 - Um, sir, you're gonna want to talk to technical support. 90 00:03:42,821 --> 00:03:46,292 This is a business where work is done, so. 91 00:03:46,325 --> 00:03:47,393 - Get 'em, Paul. 92 00:03:47,426 --> 00:03:48,594 - I love you. 93 00:03:48,627 --> 00:03:49,629 - I love you so much. 94 00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:51,597 - I love you. 95 00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:52,832 - I did. 96 00:03:54,066 --> 00:03:54,968 I don't have a match. 97 00:04:00,072 --> 00:04:01,341 - Make the call. 98 00:04:05,544 --> 00:04:07,413 - It happened. 99 00:04:09,815 --> 00:04:11,484 - Mr. Whistlebottom? 100 00:04:14,553 --> 00:04:16,522 - So, you're the boy without a match? 101 00:04:16,555 --> 00:04:18,357 - Hi. 102 00:04:18,390 --> 00:04:20,593 Um, your app is broken. 103 00:04:22,728 --> 00:04:24,797 - Have a seat. Do you want a bourbon? 104 00:04:24,830 --> 00:04:26,299 No, that's right, I read your data. 105 00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:28,601 You like wine, don't you? 106 00:04:29,668 --> 00:04:31,971 - Your app is broken. 107 00:04:32,004 --> 00:04:32,805 - No it isn't. 108 00:04:32,838 --> 00:04:33,806 - But you said, in your commercial, 109 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:36,442 you said that there was someone for everyone. 110 00:04:36,475 --> 00:04:38,944 - Well, yeah, just not for you. 111 00:04:38,977 --> 00:04:40,846 You're not quite right for anybody. 112 00:04:40,879 --> 00:04:43,015 You're the seven billionth wheel. 113 00:04:43,048 --> 00:04:44,417 The world's second best. 114 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:45,051 - What's wrong with me? 115 00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:46,285 - Nothing! 116 00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:48,621 I mean, except for the kind of a dick about the wine thing. 117 00:04:48,654 --> 00:04:53,526 But no, it's just that you don't fit anybody. 118 00:04:54,426 --> 00:04:55,594 - I want love. 119 00:04:55,627 --> 00:04:58,097 - Well sure, sure you do. Love is great. 120 00:04:58,130 --> 00:04:59,632 Think of it this way. 121 00:04:59,665 --> 00:05:01,767 You get to be the fun-loving single friend. 122 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,536 The guy who throws the bachelor parties, 123 00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:06,872 who takes the husbands out on guys night out, 124 00:05:06,905 --> 00:05:10,009 who gets drugs for the couple on holidays. 125 00:05:10,042 --> 00:05:10,676 - That's the most depressing thing 126 00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:11,811 I've ever heard in my life. 127 00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:16,382 Aren't there any single women who don't use your app? 128 00:05:16,415 --> 00:05:17,817 - Well, coma patients. 129 00:05:19,885 --> 00:05:22,688 My heart really goes out to you, son, it does. 130 00:05:22,721 --> 00:05:25,691 You know, I wish there was something I could do for you. 131 00:05:25,724 --> 00:05:30,730 Except, I can refund you the $20.00 you spent on the app. 132 00:05:32,698 --> 00:05:34,734 You cash this at First National, 133 00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:38,705 they know me pretty well over there, if you catch my drift. 134 00:05:39,972 --> 00:05:41,540 - That's it? 135 00:05:41,573 --> 00:05:42,474 - Oh, chin up, young man. 136 00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:46,412 Love is a game for fools and scoundrels. 137 00:05:46,445 --> 00:05:47,146 - Who said that? 138 00:05:47,179 --> 00:05:48,081 - Well, I did. 139 00:05:49,815 --> 00:05:51,651 So, be well. 140 00:05:53,552 --> 00:05:54,987 All right, there's the door. 141 00:05:55,020 --> 00:05:56,555 Might as well go through it, 142 00:05:56,588 --> 00:05:58,825 because you're really depressing me. 143 00:06:05,564 --> 00:06:07,500 - You could try dudes. 144 00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:09,001 - Are you just wearing underwear? 145 00:06:10,769 --> 00:06:12,671 - Why would I get dressed? 146 00:06:12,704 --> 00:06:15,741 I didn't realize it, but everything I do in my life 147 00:06:15,774 --> 00:06:17,510 is to get into a relationship. 148 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,445 And now that I know that's off the table, 149 00:06:19,478 --> 00:06:22,848 like, know, I kinda don't care about anything. 150 00:06:22,881 --> 00:06:25,651 - Here we go. Can I get you anything else to drink? 151 00:06:25,684 --> 00:06:28,053 - A whole bottle of wine. 152 00:06:28,086 --> 00:06:29,989 - Uh, any particular kind? 153 00:06:30,022 --> 00:06:31,424 - Whatever's cheap. 154 00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:32,091 - Okay. 155 00:06:33,759 --> 00:06:34,760 - Well, something rustic. 156 00:06:34,793 --> 00:06:36,829 - I can't watch this. 157 00:06:36,862 --> 00:06:37,897 You turned into like a... 158 00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:39,665 You were kinda like a, like a-- 159 00:06:39,698 --> 00:06:42,601 - Okay. It's cheap but it's got a nice spice to it 160 00:06:42,634 --> 00:06:45,070 and cherry in the mid-pallet. 161 00:06:45,103 --> 00:06:47,006 - Oh, oh, oh. 162 00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:48,741 - Um, excuse me. 163 00:06:48,774 --> 00:06:51,510 I'm sorry if this is forward but after your shift, 164 00:06:51,543 --> 00:06:53,612 would you like to get a drink with my friend here? 165 00:06:55,047 --> 00:06:56,449 - Oh, I have a boyfriend. 166 00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:59,786 - Okay. How about just as friends? 167 00:07:01,253 --> 00:07:04,089 - Sure. Okay, yeah. 168 00:07:04,122 --> 00:07:05,725 Probably be a good story. 169 00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:09,895 - Oh, good, another friend. 170 00:07:09,928 --> 00:07:11,831 - It'll get you out of the house. 171 00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:13,232 - Yeah, man. Gotta get out of the the house 172 00:07:13,265 --> 00:07:15,801 or you're gonna turn into like a... 173 00:07:15,834 --> 00:07:16,235 Like a... 174 00:07:16,268 --> 00:07:16,902 - Like a... 175 00:07:16,935 --> 00:07:17,536 - Like a. 176 00:07:17,569 --> 00:07:18,037 - Like a... 177 00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:18,804 - Like a. 178 00:07:18,837 --> 00:07:19,605 - Like a! 179 00:07:19,638 --> 00:07:20,239 - Like a? 180 00:07:20,272 --> 00:07:21,774 - Oh, I like-a you. 181 00:07:21,807 --> 00:07:23,876 I like-a you, I like-a--- 182 00:07:27,012 --> 00:07:28,681 - I love-a! I love-a! 183 00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:30,183 - I love-a, I love-a! 184 00:07:31,783 --> 00:07:33,819 - And the good thing is that in Florida, 185 00:07:33,852 --> 00:07:35,154 there's always someone nearby who knows 186 00:07:35,187 --> 00:07:37,623 how to wrestle an alligator. 187 00:07:37,656 --> 00:07:38,858 - Or point you towards the nearest 188 00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:40,092 wrap-around sunglasses store? 189 00:07:40,125 --> 00:07:41,894 - Right, yeah. There's a great one 190 00:07:41,927 --> 00:07:43,162 over on Water Street, actually. 191 00:07:43,195 --> 00:07:44,263 - Oh, I'll bet. 192 00:07:44,296 --> 00:07:45,030 - Where are you from? 193 00:07:45,063 --> 00:07:45,998 - Ohio. 194 00:07:46,031 --> 00:07:46,832 - Oh. 195 00:07:46,865 --> 00:07:47,733 - Hi. 196 00:07:47,766 --> 00:07:48,934 - Oh! 197 00:07:48,967 --> 00:07:49,835 - Ahaha. 198 00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:51,871 - Can I get you guys something? 199 00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:53,806 - I'll take an earthy Pinot, 200 00:07:53,839 --> 00:07:55,941 maybe something from the Willamette Valley if you've got it, 201 00:07:55,974 --> 00:07:57,910 otherwise a Burgundy. 202 00:07:57,943 --> 00:07:58,678 - And for you? 203 00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:02,147 - Same. 204 00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:03,549 - Nice guy. 205 00:08:03,582 --> 00:08:06,652 - So, you met your boyfriend on Soulmate? 206 00:08:06,685 --> 00:08:11,590 - Yeah, uh, Tim. He's pretty awesome. 207 00:08:11,623 --> 00:08:12,157 - Oh, good. 208 00:08:12,190 --> 00:08:14,693 - And you? 209 00:08:14,726 --> 00:08:19,632 You, uh, obviously prefer boxers. 210 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:23,035 - Do you ever think about what it was like before Soulmate? 211 00:08:23,068 --> 00:08:25,938 How can I- er, um... 212 00:08:25,971 --> 00:08:27,773 How did people find love? 213 00:08:29,274 --> 00:08:31,877 - I guess they just roamed around 214 00:08:31,910 --> 00:08:35,014 and hoped for the best, right? 215 00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:37,917 They would meet and go on dates 216 00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:38,718 and then they'd make things work 217 00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:41,687 even if it wasn't totally perfect. 218 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,757 I guess that's what I'd do if my boyfriend ever died. 219 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:48,027 That's a horribly dark thing to say. 220 00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:49,295 - And here we go. 221 00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:50,296 - Thank you. 222 00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:55,734 Well hey, this is fun. To pals. 223 00:08:55,767 --> 00:08:56,902 - To pals. 224 00:09:00,872 --> 00:09:01,974 - Great nose. 225 00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:52,024 - Having trouble finding happiness? 226 00:09:52,057 --> 00:09:54,093 At Brakesmate, we know that sometimes you have to 227 00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:56,362 take matters into your own hands. 228 00:09:56,395 --> 00:09:58,197 Our app tells you where the brakeline is 229 00:09:58,230 --> 00:10:01,634 on every make and model car and how to dismantle it. 230 00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:06,105 Over time, every relationship ends. Why not choose when? 231 00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:09,908 Our patented technology will make it look like an accident. 232 00:10:09,941 --> 00:10:13,779 Stop swiping, stop searching, start brakeline cutting, 233 00:10:13,812 --> 00:10:15,948 Brakesmates. Find Brakes. 15768

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