Original subtitles

All: Welcome to South Park!

Downloaded from YTS.MX

[ Cheers and applause ]

"South Park" is one of the greatest things of all time.

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

♪♪

You can make fun of anything

because comedy is the universal language.

[ Both fart ]

We know that this is gonna be such a magical evening.

This is like a once-in-a-lifetime thing to do.

♪ Timmy ♪

"South Park" is the greatest show ever.

What do I like about the show? I cringe.

-I'm so excited! -I'm so excited! -I'm so excited!

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here come the bastards ♪

♪ I heard it from a confidant ♪

♪ Who heard it from a confidant ♪

♪ They're definitely on their way ♪

♪ There's one with this idea ♪

♪ Something about a hammer head shark ♪

♪ Nose hairs and flatus ♪

♪ Best keep your distance because ♪

♪♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here come the bastards ♪

♪ Bury your head deep in the sand ♪

♪ Anonymity is a virtue ♪

♪ In this day and age ♪

♪ Amazing hand dexterity ♪

♪ Flagrant misuse of security ♪

♪ Better run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Who the hell are you guys?

[ Cheers and applause ]

We're Ween, man.

The Ween men.

The Ween men.

I do declare

last night was fucking amazing.

I don't know if anybody was here.

[ Cheers and applause ]

I still have a floater from last night.

♪♪

And a big reason for that,

besides all the fanciness that's coming your way,

that is Gene Ween right there on the stage with me.

[ Cheers and applause ]

That is Dean Ween right there

on the stage with me.

♪♪

It's a Ween and Primus sandwich.

[ Cheers and applause ]

And there's nothing in the middle.

It's just fucking Ween and Primus sandwich.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Primus, Ween, I say Primusween --

It's like a drain cleaner.

Primusween -- your pipes are mighty clean

after you use Primusween.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Come on. Get with me now, Red Rock.

Jesus fucking Christ.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Primusween ♪

♪ Primusween ♪

♪ Primusween ♪

♪ Primusween ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪ Here they come ♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪ There's magic inside you ♪

Cartman: What is magic?

It's a thought, it's a vision,

but most of all, magic is a feeling that you get

deep down in your balls.

Or if you're a woman,

deep down in your girl balls.

♪ The magic's inside you ♪

♪♪

And sometimes there's magic in the wonder of a little boy.

Oh, hey, everybody!

It's me, Butters!

Butters, come on! You have to see this!

Hey, where are you going, Eric?

Where the hell are we, dude?

Do you believe in magic, Stan?

Cartman? Where are you?

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Yeah, look! Eric is up on those rocks!

That's right, I'm up here, guys.

There's magic in all of us gathered here tonight.

Come on!

What are you doing, Cartman?

Just come on, it's fucking magic, Kyle.

[ Laughter ]

This way, guys. You got to see.

♪♪

♪ There's magic inside you ♪

♪ You just have to find it ♪

♪ It's deep down in your balls ♪

♪ Or in your girl balls ♪

Look, you guys.

Isn't this amazing?

Let me see.

Whoa.

Where are we?

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

What is this place?

I don't know, but it's just so fucking magical.

Wait a minute. Wait.

You guys, I know where we are.

We're home.

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

Welcome to the shindig.

[ Cheers and applause ]

And welcome, definitely,

from both Matt and I,

welcome to one of the best nights of our lives.

We're on stage with Ween.

And we're on stage with Primus.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

So my name's Trey.

I grew up right here in Morrison, Colorado.

♪♪

Right up 285 up South Turkey Creek.

♪♪

I'm Matt. Hi.

I grew up in Littleton, which is just over there.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Yeah.

That's the biggest cheer Littleton's ever gotten.

[ Laughs ]

And Matt and I met at the University of Colorado

in Boulder right over there.

[ Cheers and applause ]

And I can tell you that as a little boy growing up here,

both Matt and I, like, never dreamed

that we'd be up on this stage.

[ Cheers and applause ]

We're...

We're gonna do a bunch of songs from "South Park" tonight

all throughout the night.

♪♪

But we're gonna mix it in with real music

by Ween and Primus, so it's alright.

[ Cheers and applause ]

But definitely it is a magic night,

'cause I never thought I'd be able to stand up on the stage

and sing this.

♪ Shut your fucking face, uncle fucker ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ You're a cock-sucking, ass-licking uncle fucker ♪

♪♪

♪ You're an uncle fucker, yes, it's true ♪

♪ Nobody fucks uncles quite like you ♪

♪ Shut your fucking face, uncle fucker ♪

♪ You're the one who fucked his uncle, uncle fucker ♪

♪ You don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn ♪

♪ You just fuck your uncle all day long ♪

♪ All day long ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Vocalizing ]

♪ Ohhh ♪

♪ Ohhh ♪

♪ Ohhhhhh ♪

♪ Ooh, ah ♪

♪ Ooh, ah ♪

♪ Ooh, ah ♪

♪ Uncle fucker ♪

♪ Ooh, ah ♪

Say, Terrance, what did the Spanish priest say

to the Iranian gynecologist? ♪ Ooh, ah ♪

I don't know, Phillip. What?

[ Farts ]

[ Both laugh ] ♪ Ooh ♪

Yes, Phillip? [ Farts ]

♪ Uncle fucker ♪

[ Farts ] Ohh, Terrance!

[ Farts ]

[ Farts ] [ Farts ]

[ Farts ] [ Laughter ]

Hey, Scott, guess what. What?

[ Farts ] [ Laughter ]

[ Farting ]

[ High-pitched farting ]

[ Farts ] [ Farts ]

[ Farts ] [ Farts ]

[ Farts ]

Aah! Oh, it's bad! [ Farts ]

[ Farts ]

[ Farts ]

[ Farting ] Hut! Huuuut!

[ Farting ] Hut! Hut!

[ Farting ]

[ Farting ]

[ Farts ] [ Farts ]

[ Farting continues ] ♪ Ooh, ah ♪

♪ Ooh, ah ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Uncle fucker ♪ Aw, sick!

[ Farts ] [ Laughs ]

[ Farting continues ]

♪ Ooh, ah ♪

♪ Ooh, ah ♪

[ Laughter ] Terrance: Oh, you farted!

[ Farting continues ] ♪ Ooh ♪

[ Shouting ] ♪ Uncle fucker ♪

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

Ohh!

[ Farts ]

[ Farts, screams ]

[ Rumbling ]

[ Farts ]

♪♪

♪ Shut your fucking face, uncle fucker ♪

♪♪

♪ You're a boner-biting bastard, uncle fucker ♪

♪♪

♪ You're an uncle fucker, I must say ♪

♪ You fucked your uncle yesterday ♪

♪ Yesterday ♪

♪ Uncle fucker ♪

♪ That's U-N-C-L-E, fuck you ♪

♪ Uncle fucker ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

This is so cool, you guys. Thank you so much.

There's your mom right there.

[ Laughs ]

We have so many people here.

We have family here tonight. We have friends here tonight.

We've got the whole crew of "South Park" here tonight.

[ Cheers and applause ]

And most of all,

we've got the best fans in the world here tonight.

[ Cheers and applause ]

And there's really no words to describe it.

I think the best word that comes to mind is montage.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ The hour's approaching to give it your best ♪

♪ You've got to reach your prime ♪

♪ That's when you need to put yourself to the test ♪

♪ And show us the passage of time ♪

♪ We're gonna need a montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ Girl, I want a montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ And just show a lot of things happenin' at once ♪

♪ Remind everyone of what's goin' on ♪

♪ What's goin' on ♪

♪ And with every shot, show a little improvement ♪

♪ To show it all would take too long ♪

♪ That's called a montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ Babe, I need a montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ In anything, if you want to go ♪

♪ From just a beginner to a pro ♪

♪ You'll need a montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ That's why "Rocky" had a montage ♪

Bruce Howell on guitar.

♪♪

♪♪

Over here, Mr. Dean Ween.

♪♪

And over there, Larry LaLonde!

♪♪

♪♪

♪ In anything, if you want to go ♪

♪ From just a beginner to a pro ♪

♪ You'll need a montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ Babe, I want a montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ Always fade out ♪

♪ In a montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ If you fade out it seems like more time has passed ♪

♪ In your montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

♪ Montage ♪

[ Vocalizing ]

♪ Montage ♪

[ Vocalizing ]

Thank you!

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

Are you having fun?

[ Cheers and applause ]

'Cause I'm having a great time.

There are cameras here, as you can see.

This is all gonna be on television,

so please watch your language.

[ Laughter ]

We, uh --

We love it here in Colorado,

but there's another place I think about often,

and that place is San Diego.

There's one thing that comes to mind

when I think about San Diego.

And I'd like to sing about it right now.

One, two, one, two, three, four.

♪ Dah dah dah dah dah ♪

♪ Dah dah dah ♪

♪ Dah dah dah dah dah ♪

♪ Dah dah dah ♪

♪ I'm gonna jack it where the sun always shines ♪

♪ He's gonna jack it ♪

♪ Been spreadin' the word and now I've got to ease my mind ♪

♪ Jackin' it, ohhh ♪

♪ Been plantin' those apple seeds ♪

♪ And while the apples grow ♪

♪ I'm gonna go out jackin' it in San Diego ♪

♪ Jackin' it, jackin' it, jackety-jack ♪

♪ Spankin' it, smackin it, spankety-smack ♪

♪ I don't need no shirt, no ♪

♪ I'm gonna take my pants right off ♪

♪ He's about to jack it ♪

♪ On such a fine day, who needs underwear or socks? ♪

♪ Jackin' it, ohhh ♪

♪ Been around God's country and there's one thing I know ♪

♪ There's no better place for jackin' it than... ♪

♪ San Diego ♪

♪ Jackin' it, jackin' it, jackety-jack ♪

♪ Spankin' it, spankin' it, smackety-smack ♪

♪ Jackin' it, jackin' it, jackety-jack ♪

♪ Jack it for the Lord ♪ ♪ Spankin' it, spankin' it, smackety-smack ♪

[ Whistling ]

Hey, why not get down to San Diego?

There's so much to see.

From the warm tortillas of Old Town

to the sparkling waters of Mission Bay.

And when you're done sight-seeing,

why not try jackin' it on one of their city streets?

San Diego. Come, take a load off.

♪ Jackin' it, jackin' it, jackety-jack ♪

♪ Spankin' it, spankin' it, smackety-smack ♪

♪ A-whackin' it, whackin' it, whackety-whack ♪

♪ Spankin' it, jerkin' it, smackety-smack ♪

♪ The cars are all passin' me by ♪

♪ They stop to say "Hello" ♪

♪ Hey, that guy's jackin' it ♪

♪ From out his window, there's a guy shootin' video ♪

♪ Video of him jackin' it ♪

♪ And if the good Lord Jesus ♪

♪ Comes knockin' on my do' ♪

♪ Just tell him I'm jackin' it in... ♪

♪ San Diego ♪

♪ Jackin' it, jackin' it, jackety-jack ♪

♪ Spankin' it, spankin' it, smackety-smack ♪

♪ Whackin' it, whackin' it, whackety-whack ♪

♪ Spankin' it, spankin' it, smackety-smack ♪

♪ Jackin' it, jackin' it, jackety-jack ♪

♪ Spank, spank, spank, spank, smackety-smack ♪ ♪ Spankin' it, spankin' it, smackety-smack ♪

Thank you.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Matt: Man, look at all the people.

Holy shit.

♪♪

[ As Mr. Mackey ] M'kay, can everyone hear me m'kay?

[ Cheers and applause ]

M'kay.

Now, when I say "m'kay, kids," you say, "m'kay, Mr. Mackey."

M'kay, kids?

Audience: M'kay, Mr. Mackey.

M'kay.

Um...

There's kind of a lot of swearing

going on up here, m'kay?

Swearing's bad.

So, uh, I've got a little song to sing about that.

♪ You see, there's times when you get suckered in ♪

♪ By drugs and alcohol and sex with women ♪

M'kay, sex is bad.

M'kay.

♪ But it's when you do these things too much ♪

♪ That you've become an addict and must get back in touch ♪

Aww.

[ Cheers and applause ]

That's so cool.

♪ You can do it, it's all up to you, m'kay ♪

♪ With a little plan, you can change your life today ♪

♪ You don't have to spend your life addicted to smack ♪

♪ Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for crack ♪

♪ Follow my plan and very soon you will say ♪

♪ "It's easy, m'kay!" ♪

♪ Step 1 -- Instead of "ass," say "buns" ♪

♪ Like "kiss my buns" or "you're a buns hole!" ♪

♪ Step 2 -- Instead of "shit," say "poo" ♪

♪ Like "bull-poo", "poo-head," and this "poo is cold" ♪

♪ Step 3 -- With bitch, drop the "T" ♪

♪ 'Cause "bich" is Latin for generosity ♪

♪ Step 4 -- Don't say "fuck" anymore, kids ♪

That's bad.

[ Cheers and applause ]

You know, espec-- You know, if you're around a lot of people,

maybe like 12,000 people,

and you're just saying "fuck" all the time,

it's just -- it's bad.

Maybe...you might have family around.

Maybe your daughter's here

and you're just up here going "fuck, fuck."

That's a bad look.

♪ 'Cause "fuck" is the worst word that you can say ♪

♪ So just use the word, "m'kay" ♪

♪ We can do it, it's all up to us, m'kay ♪

♪ M'kay ♪

♪ With a little plan we can change our lives today ♪

♪ Change it today ♪

♪ We don't have to spend our lives shooting up in the trash ♪

♪ Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for cash ♪

♪ Follow this plan and very soon you will say ♪

♪ "It's easy, m'kay" ♪

♪ Step one ♪ ♪ Instead of "ass," say "buns" ♪

♪ Like "kiss my buns" ♪ ♪ Or "you're a buns hole" ♪

♪ Step two ♪ ♪ Instead of "shit," say "poo" ♪

♪ As in "bull-poo" ♪ ♪ "Poo-head," and "this poo is cold" ♪

♪ Step three -- with bitch, drop the "T" ♪

♪ 'Cause "bich" is Latin for generosity ♪

♪ Step four -- we don't say "fuck" anymore ♪

♪ 'Cause "fuck" is the worst word that you can say ♪

♪ "Fuck" is the worst word that you can say ♪

♪ We don't say "fuck" ♪

♪ No, we shouldn't say "fuck," "fuck" no ♪

You're cured, you can go!

♪ We don't have to spend our lives shootin' up in the trash ♪

♪ Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for cash ♪

♪ Follow this plan and very soon you will say ♪

♪ "It's easy, m'kay" ♪

♪ "It's easy, m'kay" ♪

♪ "It's easy, m'kay" ♪

♪ "It's easy, m'kay" ♪

♪ "It's easy, m'kay" ♪

M'kay.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

[ Cheering ]

♪♪

♪♪

So I was a freshman in college in 1989,

and somebody took -- a friend from the Bay Area took me to

a band playing on Alferd Packer Day,

about 80 people.

And it's these guys from the Bay Area,

three guys making such a fucking racket,

and the weirdest music I've ever heard.

And I just thought, "This is fucking great,

I love this band, I gotta listen to this shit forever."

And they quickly became my favorite band,

they still are.

Their name's Primus if you haven't figured it out.

And...

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Chuckles ]

So a few years later, me and Trey make it to Hollywood

and we get a TV show pilot.

So we looked up Primus' management company

in the phone book and sent them a letter

and sent them a copy of "The Spirit of Christmas."

And it worked.

And here we are.

I'm standing here with a felt fish on my head.

So anyway, we got this letter at the office that said,

"Hey, these guys fresh out of college

have made this cartoon, they're big Primus fans,

and they really want you to do this thing.

They have $74 to spend."

And they said, you know, "Hey, you want to do this thing?"

And we thought, "Well, you know..."

And we watched "The Spirit of Christmas",

we thought, "That's fucking amazing.

That's unbelievable, that's incredible.

We're gonna do it." We didn't do it for the money.

We did it because we thought it was an amazing thing.

[ Cheering ]

So a few -- about a month later, we get something in the mail,

and here it is.

This is what we got from these guys.

First shot.

[ Theme song plays ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

So the first thing we thought was,

"Wow, that's fucking amazing, we got our own Primus song."

And second thing we thought was,

"That's a minute and 40 seconds.

That's not an intro theme song. That's way too fucking long."

Yeah, so what they did is, they said, you know,

"Comedy Central --" they passed the buck right on

to their bosses.

They said, "Comedy Central says it's too slow,

it needs to be a little zippa-dee-doo,

a little peppier.

Can you guys re-record it?"

And, you know, we're out there traveling the world,

doing our thing, you know, making that magic.

And we're like, "You know, come on, dude, you gave us $74,

we're not going to go back in and re-record this thing.

How about you just take it and you just speed it up?"

Yeah, so we sped it up in Pro Tools.

We crammed it down really fast, but when you do that

with digital Pro Tools, the voice kind of breaks,

so we had to go back and ask Les,

"Please, can you re-record your voice?"

He was psyched about that, he was super psyched.

Which we did backstage.

You sent one of your friends, we recorded backstage

at Fiddler's Green.

That's true. In Colorado, on tour.

And then it turned on to this.

Turned into this.

♪♪

♪♪

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

♪ I'm going down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪

[ As Cartman ] ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

[Muffled] ♪ I love girls with big fat titties ♪

♪ I love girls with deep vaginas ♪

♪ So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

And then, the kids went into fourth grade.

And we wanted something special, so we called Les again

and said, "Could you send us something else,

send us something new?"

So I said, "Matt, ain't nothing better than

a little bit of wham-mola."

♪♪

♪♪

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

♪ I'm going down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪

[ As Cartman ] ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

♪ Going down to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

[Muffled] ♪ I love girls with big fat titties ♪

♪ I love girls with deep vaginas ♪

♪ So come on down to South Park ♪

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

There you go, there's all the theme songs,

there's a history of it. [ Chuckles ]

[ Cheering ]

So you can see, we have a couple of mics set up here.

That's because one of them has a pitch shift in it.

You know, when we do the boys' voices,

we got to pitch them up.

So, we thought of a few things we could do.

Like this.

♪♪

♪ Who's the boy that can laugh at a storm cloud? ♪

♪ Turn a frown into a smile for free? ♪

♪ Who's the kid with a heart full of magic? ♪

♪ Everyone knows it's Butters! ♪

[ As Butters ] Well, that's me!

[ Cheering ]

♪ Who's the boy with eyes full of wonder? ♪

♪ Who thinks being yourself is the best thing to be? ♪

♪ Who's that rascal with the tweezers in his pocket? ♪

♪ Everyone knows it's Butters! ♪

Well, that's me!

♪ Jumping in puddles, skipping down the hallway ♪

♪ Petting goats at the petting zoo, he loves John Alway ♪

It's John Elway. John Elway!

♪ Who's the tyke with the cutest little dimples? ♪

♪ Batting his eyes at every puppy he sees? ♪

♪ If you look inside yourself, you might be surprised ♪

♪ When you find a little boy named Butters! ♪

Well, that's me.

[ Cheering ]

♪♪

Hi, everybody.

I'm going to try to sing a song. We'll see how it goes.

♪ We'll see how it goes ♪

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

♪ Hey, there, have you heard about my robot friend? ♪

♪ He's metal and small and doesn't judge me at all ♪

♪ He's a cyberwired bundle of joy, my robot friend ♪

[ As Awesome-O ] I am Awesome-O.

Oh, hey, Awesome-O, what's going on?

Um, Butters, Awesome-O is getting very hungry.

I need some candy.

You don't eat candy. You're a robot, Awesome-O.

You don't even eat.

Yeah, but Awesome-O is very hungry, Butters, so go --

♪ I like to dip and daddle with my robot friend ♪

♪ He's smart as can be and emotion-free ♪

♪ And he's computed his way to my heart ♪

♪ My robot friend ♪

Um, Butters, Awesome-O has to go now.

I need to clear out my CPU.

Oh, man, but we have a big trip planned, Awesome-O.

We're going to LA. We're going to Hollywood, remember?

Oh, hell, no!

Awesome-O is not going to LA with you, Butters.

♪ We're going out to LA, me and my robot friend ♪

♪ We're gonna have so much fun in the hot-hot sun ♪

♪ We're two of a kind, just me and my robot friend ♪

Awesome-O thinks that your song sucks, Butters.

Screw you guys. I'm going home.

Wait, don't go!

♪♪

[ Cheering ]

Hey.

♪ Hey, there ♪

♪ Did you know I had a robot friend? ♪

♪ We used to dance and play, but someone took him away ♪

♪ He was my 10 gigahertz old pal ♪

♪ My robot friend ♪

[ Cheering ]

Butters, Awesome-O needs you to call him an Uber

'cause my mom's credit card is not working.

Awesome-O, you're back!

Butters, fuck you --

♪ Hey there, did you know about my robot friend? ♪

Lame! ♪ He's smart as can be ♪

♪ And emotion-free ♪ Weak!

♪ And he's computed his way to my heart, my robot friend ♪

Lame! ♪ My robot friend ♪

Weak!

♪ My robot friend ♪

Not cool.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Man: Thank you, Trey!

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Normal voice ] Thank you guys, so much.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪ Times have changed ♪

♪ Our kids are getting worse! ♪

♪ They won't obey their parents ♪

♪ They just want to fart and curse! ♪

♪ Should we blame the government? ♪

♪ Or blame society? ♪

♪ Or should we blame the images on TV? ♪

♪ No, blame Canada! ♪

♪ Blame Canada! ♪

♪ With all their beady little eyes ♪

♪ And flapping heads so full of lies! ♪

♪ Blame Canada! Blame Canada! ♪

♪ We need to form a full assault! ♪

♪ It's Canada's fault! ♪

♪ Don't blame me ♪

♪ For my son Stan ♪

♪ He saw the darn cartoon ♪

♪ And now he's off to join the Klan! ♪

♪ And my boy Eric once ♪

♪ Had my picture on his shelf ♪

♪ And now when I see him he tells me to fuck myself! ♪

♪ Blame Canada! Blame Canada! ♪

♪ It seems that everything's gone wrong ♪

♪ Since Canada came along! ♪

♪ Blame Canada! Blame Canada! ♪

♪ They're not even a real country anyways! ♪

♪ My son could have been a doctor or a lawyer ♪

♪ Rich and true ♪

♪ Instead he burned up like a piggy on a barbecue! ♪

♪ Should we blame the matches? ♪

♪ Or should we blame the fire? ♪

♪ Or the doctors who allowed him to expire? ♪

♪ Heck no! ♪

♪ Blame Canada! Blame Canada! ♪

♪ With all their hockey hullabaloo ♪

♪ And that slut Ryan Reynolds, too! ♪

♪ Blame Canada! ♪

♪ Shame on Canada! ♪

♪ For the smut we must stop ♪

♪ The trash we will stash, the laughter and fun ♪

♪ Must all be undone ♪

♪ We must blame them and cause a fuss ♪

♪ Before somebody thinks of blaming us! ♪

♪♪

Thank you.

[ Cheers and applause ]

You guys, there are so many people to thank here tonight.

Again, the whole "South Park" crew is here.

Where are you guys?

Oh, there they are, there's the "South Park" crew.

Animators, technical directors,

all the people that make it happen.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Thank you, guys.

There's also our executive producer,

Anne Garefino, who put this whole thing together,

and then she got COVID, and she can't be here tonight.

But thank you so much, Anne.

And most of all,

I want to thank my partner, Matt.

I want to say happy anniversary, man.

I love you.

[ Cheers and applause ] Alright.

And we put a little surprise together for Matt.

He has no idea that this is going to happen,

and neither do you.

Roll the tape.

[ Laughing ]

Blame Canada, blame Canada. Blah, blah, blah.

How come we get the blame for everything, eh?

Geddy, I just received a telegram

from Terrance and Phil aboot the "South Park"

25th Birthday Farty.

[ Chuckles ]

Hey, Alex, what can we do for our pals Matt and Trey?

Send them some free Rush beer?

Or even worse, we could show up and jam with them, eh?

[ Laughing ]

[ Cheering ]

[ Cheering continues ]

♪♪

What do you think, Stone-ey-ham?

[ Cheering ]

Well, here you go, brother.

[ "Closer to the Heart" plays ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ And the men who hold high places ♪

♪ Must be the ones who start ♪

♪ To mold a new reality ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ The blacksmith and the artist ♪

♪ Reflect it in their art ♪

♪ They forge their creativity ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Yes, closer to the heart ♪

♪♪

♪ Philosophers and ploughmen ♪

♪ Each must know his part ♪

♪ To sow a new mentality ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to the heart, oh, yeah ♪

♪♪

♪ Ooohhh ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ You can be the captain ♪

♪ And I will draw the chart ♪

♪ Sailing into destiny ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Oh, closer to the heart ♪

♪ I said closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

This is one of the most amazing moments of my life.

[ Cheering ]

Matt Stone-ey-ham, is this one of

the most amazing moments of your life?

Look who is standing in front of you.

It's Geddy and Alex!

♪♪

♪ Oh, closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

Come on now, South Park!

♪ Closer to South Park ♪

♪ Closer to South Park ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to South Park ♪

Come on!

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Yeah, closer to the heart ♪

♪ Closer to the heart ♪

♪ Yeah, closer to the heart ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Song ends ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

Thank you, eh.

[ Cheers and applause continue ]

♪ When I say I have crabs, I mean literally ♪

♪♪

♪♪

You know there's nothing like a cold Colorado morning.

[ Cheering ]

When you're waking the kids up for school,

you go outside, and you got to brush the snow off your truck.

You go back in, and you got to give your kids something to eat.

Get 'em ready for the day.

Well, that's when you start thinking you might want

to smoke a little weed.

[ Cheering ]

♪♪

We just hope that if you do smoke weed,

that you play it safe and choose Tegridy.

[ Cheering ]

'Cause just like that cold Colorado morning,

Tegridy's got that real Colorado flavor.

♪ 'Cause this ol' world is getting to me ♪

♪ It seems like people have got no inte... ♪

Audience: ♪ Tegridy ♪

Trey: Let's try that shit again.

Let's try that again.

♪ This ol' world is getting to me ♪

♪ 'Cause it seems like people got no ♪

Audience: ♪ Tegridy ♪

Trey: Oh, shit, you're right.

♪ So I loaded up the kids, took my wife by the arm ♪

♪ And I moved on out to a Colorado farm ♪

♪♪

♪ Now it's early to bed, early to rise ♪

♪ The crops are plowed, and it's no surprise ♪

♪ City folks are fightin', and I don't give a darn ♪

♪ Darn, darn ♪

♪ 'Cause I make my livin' on a Colorado farm ♪

♪♪

♪ I gotta drive the tractor, gotta cut the grass ♪

♪ Chut-chut goes the baler like it's never gonna last ♪

♪ There's food in the kitchen, there's bud in the barn ♪

♪ Barn, barn ♪

♪ That's what you get on a Colorado farm ♪

Alright, let's go!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Well, it going great, it was going good ♪

♪ The weed was growing like good weed should ♪

♪ Then Joe Biden took my job ♪

Took our job!

♪ Joe Biden took our job ♪

He took our job!

♪♪

♪ Well, they took our job, they took our job ♪

Took our job!

♪ They took our job ♪

♪ Joe Biden took our job ♪

Took our job!

♪ Joe Biden took our jobs ♪

Took our jobs.

Joe Biden took our jobs.

-I want to know. -Hold the G, hold the G.

Did they take your job?

[ Audience shouts ]

They took my -- Mickey, did they take your job?

Took my job!

They took his damn job!

Did they take you job?

What about -- we got a nice little lady over here.

Oh.

Can you come up here, ma'am?

Come up here, little girl.

Someone brought a kid to the concert.

That was a good idea.

Come here, honey.

Young lady, did Joe Biden take your job?

I don't know.

What's your name, little girl?

Harper.

Joe Biden took your damn job, didn't he?

Yes, sir.

Now, I want you to turn to this crowd

and say with meaning that Joe Biden took your job.

Ready?

Joe Biden took my derr.

Yeah! Joe Biden took -- he took her job!

He took my job!

Took her damn job! That son of bitch.

That son of bitch.

♪ Well ♪

♪ Ice-cold beer, pickup trucks ♪

♪ Country music, listin' shit ♪

♪ We got tegridy to keep us warm ♪

♪ Warm, warm ♪

♪ That's what you get on a Colorado farm ♪

♪♪

♪ And I'm just living on a Colorado farm ♪

♪ Shit ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Joe Biden.

It is quite possibly the funniest joke

ever conceived, and its origin is unknown.

The fishsticks joke crosses all borders, all races,

all ages and ethnic groups, and is slowly uniting our country.

In fact, the only person who appears to not get the joke is

rapper Kanye West, who becomes furious when people

use the joke on him.

Snyder: You ready don't get it?

Hey, man, I'm a genius, alright?!

If I was a homosexual or a fish, I would know!

Now let's see.

Somethin' about fishsticks interacting with me

makes me a gay fish.

Kanye, really.

Alright, now what do we know about fishsticks?

They're breaded, they're fried, they're frozen.

Then under me, we have rapper, genius.

And gay fish are homosexual.

They swim.

Is it because breaded has something to do with genius,

which swims?

No, because you said you like fish sticks, Kanye!

Don't -- Don't you get it?

You see, "fish-dicks" is a -- is a play on words.

I don't need anyone tellin' me "play on words"!

I'm a motherfuckin' lyrical wordsmith motherfuckin' genius!

Boys, I understand what you did now.

Untie them, guys. I know what I have to do.

Yo, Kanye, you sure about this?

It's time for me to stop runnin'.

I need to believe what people tell me.

Let all my fans know I love 'em, but a gay fish just can't

live in the outside world forever.

Don't be sad for me, guys!

♪♪

♪♪

Unh, come on.

♪♪

[ Autotuned ] ♪ I've been so lonely, girl ♪

♪ I've been so sad and down ♪

♪ Couldn't understand why haters joked around ♪

♪ I wanted to be free with other creatures like me ♪

♪ And now I got my wish ♪

♪ 'Cause I know that I'm a gay fish ♪

♪ Gay fish ♪

♪ Gay fish, yo ♪

♪ Motherfuckin' gay fish ♪

♪ He's a gay fish ♪ ♪ I'm a fish, yo ♪

♪ Going on a gay fish ♪

It's all right, girl.

♪ Makin' love to other gay fish ♪

♪ All those lonely nights at the grocery store ♪

♪ In the frozen fish aisle feelin' like a whore ♪

♪ 'Cause I wasn't being true even though everyone said ♪

-♪ I had to make a switch ♪ -♪ Gay fish ♪

♪ 'Cause I know that I'm a gay fish, gay fish ♪

♪ Gay fish, yo ♪

♪ Motherfuckin' gay fish ♪

-♪ He's a gay fish ♪ -I'm a fish, yo ♪

♪ Baby, I'm a gay fish ♪

It's all right, girl.

♪ I used to be scared, denying who I was ♪

♪ Acting straight but going out to gay fish clubs ♪

♪ Dancing with the marlins ♪

♪ Making out with the all the snappers ♪

♪ I'd take the salmon home ♪

♪ And work that caudal fin for hours ♪

♪ But now I'm out and I'm free to love what I want ♪

♪ Be it yellowfin or trout or them trout in Vermont ♪

♪ Slap that sea bass ass, I make the grouper butt shake ♪

♪ I'll come to your house and have an orgy ♪

♪ In your fish tank, bitch ♪

♪ Motherfuckin' gay fish ♪

♪ Baby, I'm a gay fish ♪

♪♪

♪ I really get around, I'm the slut of the sea ♪

♪ When I say I have crabs, I mean literally ♪

♪ I was out having dinner and had to go down ♪

♪ On that mackerel on the dish ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm the gayest of the gay fish ♪

♪ Gay fish ♪

Gay fish, yo.

♪ Motherfuckin' gay fish ♪

I'm a fish, yo. ♪ He's a gay fish ♪

♪ Baby, I'm a gay fish ♪

It's all right, girl.

♪ Unh ♪

♪ But I gotta settle down, I can't be a whore ♪

♪ I can't just sleep with any fish no more ♪

♪ I've got me a lover, a brother ♪

♪ Who's a cross-dressing pike named Trish ♪

♪ And together we are gay fish ♪

♪ Gay fish ♪

Gay fish, yo.

♪ Motherfuckin' gay fish ♪

♪ I'm a fish, yo ♪ ♪ Gay fish ♪

♪ Baby, I'm a gay fish ♪

It's all right, girl.

♪ And I'm making love, ooh ♪

♪ To other gay motherfuckin' fish ♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Now we're gonna have a little more Ween for us.

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Hey, little boy, whatcha got there? ♪

♪ Kind sir, it's a mollusk I've found ♪

♪ Did you find it in the sandy ground? ♪

♪ Does it emulate the ocean's sound? ♪

♪ Yes, I found it on the ground ♪

♪ Emulating the ocean's sound ♪

♪ Bring forth the mollusk cast unto me ♪

♪ Let's be forever, let forever be free ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Hey, little boy, come walk with me ♪

♪ And bring your new found mollusk along ♪

♪ Does it speaketh of the trinity? ♪

♪ Can it gaze at the sun with its wandering eye? ♪

♪ Yes, it speaks of the trinity ♪

♪ Casting light at the sun with its wandering eye ♪

♪ Bring forth the mollusk, cast unto me ♪

♪ Let's be forever, let forever be free ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Alright, Red Rocks.

♪ Yes, yes ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ Yes, yes ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ Yes, yes ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ Yes, yes ♪

♪ No ♪

You see there are three things that spur the mollusk

from the sand.

The waking of all creatures that live on the land.

And with just one faint glance, back into the sea,

the mollusk, it lingers, with its wandering eye.

Yeah!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Finale plays ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Song ends ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ Do you wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby? ♪

♪ Say, baby? ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

Les: So, many years ago, we did a song

and a fellow by the name of Tom Waits

did one of the characters in the song,

and tonight we're going to try and eclipse that performance

with a little special guest.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Stop.

♪♪

[ As Butters ] Well, I remember it as if it were a meal ago...

Said Butters the Cat as he reeled back

to clear whatever foreign matter may have

nestled its way into his mighty throat.

Many a fat alley rat had met its demise

while staring point blank down

the cavernous barrel of this awesome prowling machine.

Truly a wonder of nature, this urban predator.

Butters the Cat had many a story to tell,

but it was a rare occasion such as this

that he did...

♪♪

♪♪

She came slidin' down the alleyway

like me drippin' off a hot biscuit.

The aroma, the mean scent

was enough to arouse suspicion in even the oldest of tigers

that hung around the hot spot in those days.

The sight was beyond belief.

Many a head snapped for double, even triple takes

as this vivacious feline made her way

down into the delta of the alleyway,

where the most virile of the young tabbies

were known to hang out.

They hung out in droves.

Such a multitude of masculinity

could only be found in one place.

And that was O'Malley's alley.

♪♪

But not even a muscle in her neck did twitch

as she sauntered straight into the heart of the alleyway.

♪♪

She knew what she wanted...

She was lookin' for that stud bull.

She was looking for that he cat.

And that was me.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Butters the Cat is my name

and I say unto thee...

♪♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna lay down by my side? ♪

♪ Ah, baby, do you wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby? Say, baby? ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna lay down by my side? ♪

♪ Ah, baby, do you wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby? Say, baby? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna lay down by my side? ♪

♪ Ah, baby, do you wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby-by-by-by ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna lay down by my side? ♪

♪ Ah, baby, do you wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby? Say, baby? ♪

♪♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna lay down by my side? ♪

♪ Ah, baby, do you wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby? ♪

♪ Say, baby? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna lay down by my side? ♪

♪ Ah, baby, do you wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby? ♪

♪ Say, baby? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby, do you wanna lay down by my side? ♪

♪ Ah, baby, do you wanna lay down with me? ♪

♪ Say, baby? Say, baby? ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Kyle: Well, let's see how he likes the icy blast

of my nunchucks of Kuramoto.

Ugh! Oof!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

♪♪

Aaaaaah!

Aaaah! [ Crying ]

Cartman: Oh, shit, dude.

Butters, oh, my God!

So, how would you ninjas like to do battle?

Uh, not not, Craig. We -- We have to be going.

I am not Craig. I am Ginza!

♪♪

What -- What's the matter, fellas?

Are you ninjas or p-p-pussies?

Hyah!

I swore to never fight again.

We don't have a choice, Kyle. Just humor them.

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Subarashii, chin chin mono ♪

♪ Kintama no kami aru ♪

♪ Sore no oto, sarubobo? ♪

♪ Iie! Ninja ga, imasu ♪

♪ Hey, hey, let's go! Kenka suru ♪

♪ Taisetsu na mono, protect my balls ♪

♪ Boku ga warui, so let's fighting ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

♪♪

♪ Kono uta, chotto, baka ♪

♪ Wake ga wakaranai ♪

♪ Eigo ga, mecha, kucha ♪

♪ Daijobu, we do it all the time ♪

♪ Hey, hey, let's go! Kenka suru ♪

♪ Taisetsu na mono, protect my balls ♪

♪ Boku ga warui, so let's fighting ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

Bruce Howell!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Hey, hey, let's go! Kenka suru ♪

♪ Taisetsu na mono, protect my balls ♪

♪ Boku ga warui, so let's fighting ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

♪♪

♪ Keen tama wa budda budda ♪

♪ Keen tama wa budda budda ♪

♪ Keen tama wa budda budda ♪

♪ Keen tama wa budda budda ♪

♪♪

♪ Hey, hey, let's go! Kenka suru ♪

♪ Taisetsu na mono ♪

♪ Protect my balls ♪

♪ Boku ga warui, so let's fighting ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

♪ Let's fighting ♪

♪ Someone fighting ♪

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

So when Matt and I were

at the University of Colorado in Boulder,

we were like 20 years old

and with a bunch of friends in college,

we made a musical called "Alferd Packer: The Musical."

[ Cheers and applause ]

And I know there's some people here tonight --

I know Jason's here,

I know Dian's here.

I don't know if Ian and Alex are here.

I don't know if Jon Hegel's here.

But we thought we'd do one song from that tonight.

And even if you haven't seen it,

as a Coloradoan, I think you can appreciate it

'cause it's about when you lose your horse.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ She'll never know ♪

♪ What she meant to me ♪

♪ Whenever I was with her ♪

♪ I was always as gentle as I could be ♪

♪♪

♪ And now I don't know why ♪

♪ But she's gone away ♪

♪♪

♪ And I'll just have to stand on my own two legs ♪

♪ Your eyes, your smile ♪

♪ Made my little life worthwhile ♪

♪ There's was nothing I couldn't do ♪

♪♪

♪ When I was on top of you ♪

♪♪

♪ I'd pull her hair ♪

♪ And she'd know to stop ♪

♪ When she'd look behind her ♪

♪ I'd always be there ♪

♪ And now I don't know why ♪

♪ But she, she's gone ♪

♪ And all I can do ♪

♪ Is try to carry on ♪

♪ Your eyes, your smile ♪

♪ Made my little life worthwhile ♪

♪ The sky was a lot more blue ♪

♪ When I was on top of you ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ When I was on top of you ♪

♪♪

Thank you.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪ A child without an eye ♪

♪♪

♪ Made her mother cry ♪

♪ Why ask why? ♪

♪ She kept her child clean ♪

♪♪

♪ On Buckingham Green ♪

♪♪

♪ The children saw the eye ♪

♪♪

♪ As a sign from God ♪

♪ Descending from the sky ♪

♪ It was alright to dream ♪

♪♪

♪ Of Buckingham Green ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Summon the queen ♪

♪♪

♪ Spoke the child of eye ♪

♪ It's time to fly ♪

♪ Turning fire to steam ♪

♪♪

♪ On Buckingham Green ♪

♪♪

♪ A child without an eye ♪

♪♪

♪ Made her mother cry ♪

♪ Why ask why? ♪

♪ She kept her child clean ♪

♪♪

♪ On Buckingham Green ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

Jesus, Jesus Christ!

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

[ As Cartman ] How about we sing "Kyle's Mom's a Bitch"

in B flat minor?

[ School bell ringing ]

Okay, children, let's take our seats.

Uh, apparently, none of you tried to get me fired yesterday,

so I guess we're just gonna have to go on and learn more today.

Now who can tells me what happens to water

when we heat it up in the Bunsen burner?

-It evaporates. -Good, Butters.

Now if we take the glass tube of the Bunsen burner,

we can also see how other things react.

Evaporation is an exothermic reaction,

so let's look at an endothermic one.

Mr. Slave, position 7 please.

Now I'm gonna put the glass tube into Mr. Slave's tight ass.

The heat from Mr. Slave's ass... Ahhhhh!

will act as our new conductor of energy. Oh, God.

[ Groans ]

Okay, now, Butters, could you bring over Lemmiwinks

for me, please?

Sure!

[ Squeaking ]

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.

Thank you, Butters.

Now what do you think is gonna happen when I introduce

the element of the gerbil to the endothermic heat of

Mr. Slave's ass?

Well, let's see.

[ Groans ]

[ Squeaking ]

[ Groans ] Jesus! Jesus Christ!

[ Squeaking ]

♪♪

Lemmiwinks, you must find your way out of this place,

or you will surely die.

Who am I? Just a friend. Heed my words, Lemmiwinks.

Your time is running out. Make for the large intestine.

All will be made clear there.

♪ A great adventure is waiting for you ahead ♪

♪ Hurry onward, Lemmiwinks, for you will soon be dead ♪

♪ The journey before you may be long and filled with woe ♪

♪ But you must escape the gay man's ass ♪

♪ So your tale can be told ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

Ladies and gentlemen, the voice of Mr. Slave,

Mr. John Hansen.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪ Lemmiwinks' journey is distant, far and vast ♪

♪ To find his way out of a gay man's ass ♪

♪ The road ahead is filled with danger and fright ♪

♪ But push onward, Lemmiwinks, with all of your might ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

Lemmiwinks, you are coming to the entrance

of the small intestines.

There, you shall meet the Sparrow Prince.

All shall be made clear to you there.

[ Groans ] Jesus Christ!

[ Cheering ]

♪ The Sparrow Prince lies somewhere way up ahead ♪

♪ Don't look back, Lemmiwinks, or you'll soon be dead ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks, the time is growing late ♪

♪ Slow down now, and seal your fate ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

I am the Sparrow Prince.

Long has my spirit been trapped in this place.

Before you lies the maze of the small intestine.

One path leads to the stomach, the other, to certain doom.

Take with you this helmet and torch.

Let them be your guide.

Ooh, ooh.

Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!

Christ.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ Take the magic helmet-torch to help you light the way ♪

♪ There's still a lot of ground to cross inside the man so gay ♪

♪ Ahead of you lies adventure ♪

♪ And your strength still lies within ♪

♪ Freedom from the gay man's ass is the treasure you will win ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks came to the stomach dark ♪

♪ 'neath the depths of the lungs and heart ♪

You choose your path wisely, Lemmiwinks.

I am Catatafish.

♪ Catatafish of the stomach's cove ♪

I will let you pass, Lemmiwinks,

but only if you answer my riddle.

♪♪

♪ Catatafish's riddle will soon be told ♪

Ooh-ooh, ah! Ah, ah, ah!

Ah, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus Christ!

[ Laughter ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Cheers and applause continue ]

Please, just one more. Please.

Jesus Christ!

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ Lemmiwinks has made it out, his journey is nearly through ♪

♪♪

[ As Frog ] Great job, Lemmiwinks.

[ As Sparrow ] Thanks to you we are all free!

[ As Catatafish ] But your adventures are just beginning.

For you are no ordinary gerbil, Lemmiwinks,

you are now the gerbil king!

♪♪

All hail the gerbil king!

All hail the gerbil king!

All hail the gerbil king!

♪ Now that you're the gerbil king ♪

♪ There's more adventures to go on ♪

♪ Fly away to faraway lands ♪

♪ And to the setting sun ♪

♪ There are still so many enemies ♪

♪ And battles yet to fight ♪

♪ For Lemmiwinks the gerbil king ♪

♪ To be told another night ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks ♪

♪ Gerbil king ♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ As Cartman ] Okay, what should we sing now? Hmm.

Let's see.

We sang songs about my balls.

We sang songs about jacking off.

What other song could we possibly sing?

Hmm.

I know!

How about we sing "Kyle's Mom's a Bitch"

in B flat minor?

[ As Kyle ] Cartman, stop calling my mom a bitch.

♪♪

♪ Well ♪

Don't you do it.

♪ Well ♪

Don't say it.

♪♪

♪ Well ♪ I'm warning you.

Okay, okay.

I'm so sick of him calling my mom a bitch.

♪ Well ♪

♪ Kyle's mom is a bitch, she's a big fat bitch ♪

♪ She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world ♪

♪ She's a mean ol' bitch if there ever was a bitch ♪

♪ She's a bitch to all the boys and girls ♪

♪♪

♪ On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch ♪

♪ And Wednesday through Saturday she's a bitch ♪

♪ Then on Sunday, just to be different ♪

♪ She's a super King Kamehameha bi-atch ♪

♪ Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom? ♪

♪ She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world ♪

♪ She's a mean ol' bitch and she has stupid hair ♪

♪ She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch ♪

♪ Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, she's a stupid bitch! ♪

♪ Kyle's mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch ♪

♪ Talk to kids around the world ♪

♪ And it might go a little bit somethin' like this ♪

[ Singing Chinese gibberish ]

[ Singing French gibberish ]

[ Singing Dutch gibberish ]

[ Singing African language gibberish ] ♪ Kyle's mom is a bitch ♪

♪ Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom? ♪

♪ She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world ♪

♪ She's a mean ol' bitch, and she has stupid hair ♪

♪ She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch ♪

♪ Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, she's a stupid bitch ♪

♪ Kyle's mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch ♪

♪ I really mean it ♪

♪ Kyle's mom ♪

♪ She's a big fat fucking bitch ♪

♪ Big ol' fat fucking bitch, Kyle's mom! ♪

♪ Kyle's mom ♪

♪ Kyle's mom ♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ How 'bout some feces with your flounder? ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ Fuck yeah ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ All shouting indistinctly ]

Wait. Wait just a second.

Now, we've got to think here.

Now, let's see. What would Brian Boitano do?

Yeah, what would Brian Boitano do?

♪♪

Brian! Skate!

Brian! Skate!

♪ What would Brian Boitano do ♪

♪ If he was here right now? ♪

♪ He'd make a plan, and he'd follow through ♪

♪ That's what Brian Boitano'd do ♪

♪♪

Brian! Skate!

Brian! Skate!

♪ When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics ♪

♪ Skating for the gold ♪

♪ He did two Salchows and a triple Lutz ♪

♪ Wearing a blindfold ♪

♪ When Brian Boitano was in the Alps ♪

♪ Fighting grizzly bears ♪

♪ He used his magical fire breath ♪

♪ To save the maidens fair ♪

♪♪

Brian! Skate!

Brian! Skate!

♪ So what would Brian Boitano do ♪

♪ If he was here today? ♪

♪ I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two ♪

♪ That's what Brian Boitano'd do ♪

♪♪

Brian! Skate!

Brian! Skate!

♪ When Brian Boitano traveled through time ♪

♪ To the year 3010 ♪

♪ He fought the evil robot king ♪

♪ And saved us all again ♪

♪ When Brian Boitano built the pyramids ♪

♪ He beat up Kublai Khan ♪

♪ 'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from anybody ♪

No, Brian!

Those chicken wings are really spicy!

Do not eat those!

♪♪

♪ I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings ♪

♪ I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings ♪

♪ I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings ♪

♪ I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings ♪

♪ I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings ♪

♪ I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings ♪

♪ I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings ♪

♪♪

Brian! Skate!

Brian! Skate!

♪ Brian Boitano was born ♪

♪ On the planet of Kryluck ♪

♪ He came to Earth to save us all ♪

♪ From war and death and suck ♪

♪ Hi-de-lo-dee-hi-dee-lay ♪

♪ Brian Boitano's here ♪

♪ So round up all your lasses ♪

♪ And tell them to have no fear! ♪

♪ Say, come over here, my honey ♪

♪ And you're gonna take off my pants ♪

♪ And I'm gonna make dirty love to you ♪

♪ 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! ♪

♪♪

♪ 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Munching ]

[ Man singing in Spanish ]

Okay, here you go, amigo.

Another taco plate and the taquitos.

Oh, thank you.

And did I mention I am a food critic for Yelp?

Yes, you mentioned that several times.

Okay, I just didn't want you caught off guard.

I was thinking of giving this place five stars.

Really?

Yeah, but I'm kind of teetering on five stars or one star.

Oh no, no. No one star, please. What can we do to --

I mean, I could probably be persuaded

with some free desserts.

Let me get that for you.

Great. And could you turn down the music a bit?

This pagan shit hurts my ears.

Of course. [ Crunches ]

Hi, two of us for lunch, please.

Yes, right away.

Oh, and I just wanted to mention that

my wife and I are Yelp reviewers,

so, uh, your best table, please.

Oh, geez, you guys, too, huh?

Okay, I'll get you set up right over here, okay?

Mm-hmm.

Hmm. This place seems nice.

I guess we'll see.

I guess we'll see, won't we?

Oh, God. Now everyone thinks they're a food critic.

♪♪

Do we have any Yelp reviewers in the audience?

[ Cheers and applause ]

'Cause you know that they do to your food, right?

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ So you're one of Yelper's special blessed ♪

♪ You demand a restaurant's very best ♪

♪ Well, they're gonna treat you special ♪

♪ I'm telling you, chum ♪

♪ Now get yourself ready for some boogers and cum ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ That's called the Yelper special ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Hey, what's that on your pretzel? ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ Your online critiques are real useful to some ♪

♪ Now have a good time eating boogers and cum ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Someone farted on your salad ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ But all your critiques are valid ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ You think you're special like you're A-number one ♪

♪ Well, there's a whole lot of special in boogers and cum ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ How 'bout some feces with your flounder? ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ You like that queefy quarter pounder? ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ What's that spice that's all tangy on your tongue? ♪

♪ That's yuzu pepper ♪

♪ And boogers and cum ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪ Look, we got a Yelp reviewer right here.

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

Come on out here, guy.

♪ They're gonna jack off in your food ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ They're gonna wipe their ass ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ And put it in your food ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Along with a whole lot of boogers and cum ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Hey, being a food critic's easy ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Oh, you feel a little queasy? ♪

♪ Do you need a diagnosis? ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ 'Cause the doctor's got one ♪

♪ Your stomach's all filled with boogers and cum ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Piss in your potatoes ♪

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

♪ Some guy's shit on your tomato ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ Alright, fancy food critic, looks like you've won ♪

♪ Now please enjoy all the booo-hooo-gerrrs ♪

[ Crowd cheers ]

♪ Booo-hooo-gerrrs ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ Booo-hooo-gerrrs ♪

♪ Aaand cuuum ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ Aaand cuuum ♪

♪ Enjoy your boogers and cum ♪

You guys, thank you so much.

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

This has been so much fun. We've had such a good time.

♪ Boogers and cum ♪

We want to give a big, big thank you...

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ...to our lady singers.

Thank you, ladies!

[ Cheers and applause ]

And, you guys, a huge, huge thank you to Ween.

Thank you so much for being here, you guys.

Glenn McClelland on keys back there.

Claude Coleman on drums.

Dave Dreiwitz on bass.

Bruce Howell on guitar.

[ Speaks indistinctly ] filling in for me.

Bekon on synth and keys back there, Bekon.

And a very big thank you to Primus for being here tonight.

Tim Alexander on drums.

Kind of cool.

Tim Alexander on drums,

Larry LaLonde,

and of course Les Claypool.

[ Cheers and applause ]

-Thank you! -Thank you!

We love you. Thank you.

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ America ♪

♪ Fuck yeah ♪

♪ So lick my butt and suck on my balls ♪

[ Cheering ]

[ Cheering ]

[ Cheering continues ]

Oh, geez, we have nothing else prepared.

[ Chuckles ]

We did forget to sing the National Anthem.

We hope maybe you can help us sing this.

♪♪

♪ America ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ America, fuck yeah! ♪

♪ Coming again to save the motherfucking day, yeah ♪

♪ America, fuck yeah! ♪

♪ Freedom is the only way, yeah ♪

♪ Terrorists, your game is through ♪

♪ 'Cause now you have to answer to America ♪

♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

♪ So lick my butt and suck on my balls ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

♪ Whatcha gonna do when they come for you now? ♪

♪ It's the dream that we all share ♪

♪ It's the hope for tomorrow ♪

♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ Ahhh ♪

-♪ McDonald's ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Walmart ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Turkey ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Baseball ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ NFL ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Rock and roll ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Slurpees ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

That's right.

♪♪

♪♪

Ladies and gentlemen,

Bruce Howell is not only an amazing guitarist,

he also does all the sound design on "South Park."

Let's go, Bruce.

♪♪

♪♪

Let's here it for Dean Ween.

Dean!

♪♪

♪♪

Alright. Great American hero Larry LaLonde.

♪♪

♪♪

And last but not least, Mr. Les Claypool.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ And on the boats and on the planes ♪

♪ They're coming to America ♪

Gene Ween!

♪ Every time that flag's unfurled ♪

♪ They're coming to America ♪

♪ They're coming to America ♪

♪ They're coming to America ♪

♪ They're coming to America ♪

♪ They're coming to America ♪

Fuck yeah!

-♪ My country tis of thee ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Sweet land of liberty ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Of thee I sing ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Of thee I sing ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

♪♪

♪ Terrorists, your game is through ♪

♪ 'Cause now you have to answer to America ♪

♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

♪♪

♪ America ♪

♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

♪♪

♪♪

Thank you, America!

You know that "South Park" can only happen in America right?

Fuck yeah!

[ Cheering ]

♪ Ahhhh ♪

-♪ Starbucks ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Disney World ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Porno ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah ♪

-♪ Reeboks ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Big tits ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Sushi ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Taco Bell ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Chicken nuggets ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

Fuck yeah, chicken nuggets.

♪♪

♪♪

Thank you, Colorado!

Thanks to everyone for coming.

Especially for all of you in...

-♪ Lakewood ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Littleton ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Aurora ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Evergreen ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Conifer ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Fort Collins ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Boulder ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Estes Park ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Steamboat Springs ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Aspen ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

-♪ Cherry Creek ♪ -♪ Fuck yeah! ♪

♪ Colorado fucking Springs ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Thank you!

[ Cheering ]

Thanks so much.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪ I'm going down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

♪ I'm going down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪

[ As Cartman ] ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

♪ Going down to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

[Muffled] ♪ I love girls with big fat titties ♪

♪ I love girls with deep vaginas ♪

♪ So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ MTV ♪