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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,960 The following programme contains very strong language and adult humour. 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:13,360 - What do you wanna talk about? - Betrayal. 3 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,000 Manolito wants our weed. 4 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:16,480 Manolito wants our weed. 5 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:19,640 He wants to get rid of the MacDonaghs, divide and conquer. 6 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:21,480 Listen, Manolito knows. 7 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,800 He knows that you know about him. Be careful. 8 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:24,000 Fuck it. 9 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,520 Fuck it. 10 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,920 Vin. Vin. Vin. Vin. Vin! 11 00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:35,720 A situation has arisen with Vincent O'Neill. 12 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,600 Do whatever you need to do. 13 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:56,000 Money # 14 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,200 Money # 15 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:04,000 # The best things in life are free 16 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,880 # The best things in life are free 17 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,640 # But you can give them to the birds and bees 18 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,000 # I need money # That's what I want 19 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,040 # I need money # That's what I want 20 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:16,800 # That's what I want # That's what I want 21 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:20,000 # That's what I wa-a-nt # That's what I want 22 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:20,880 # That's what I wa-a-nt # That's what I want 23 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,200 # That's what I want # That's what I want... 24 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,000 Let's have a look. It's erotic. 25 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,720 Let's have a look. It's erotic. 26 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:34,920 # I need money # That's what I want 27 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:36,000 # That's what I want # That's what I want 28 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,320 # That's what I want # That's what I want 29 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:42,040 # That's what I wa-a-nt # That's what I want 30 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,000 # That's what I want # That's what I want... # 31 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,320 # That's what I want # That's what I want... # 32 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:08,000 Now then... 33 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,520 Now then... 34 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,440 What the fuck? 35 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,480 Clingfilm? 36 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:32,000 "Ooh, let me see you stretch those legs apart. 37 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:32,600 "Ooh, let me see you stretch those legs apart. 38 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:34,800 "And bend over." Oh, no. 39 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:38,360 "Ooh, yeah... Ooh, yeah." Oh, no, please, no. 40 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,000 Dirty motherfucker. 41 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:40,200 Dirty motherfucker. 42 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,040 Go on, stretch it, love. Go on. 43 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,080 "I'm bad news." Oh, God. 44 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,640 I thought the plan were to plant these at Manolito's. 45 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,000 It was, but then we had a really serious upside-downy crash. 46 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,560 It was, but then we had a really serious upside-downy crash. 47 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,120 So, we need a minute now, love. Listen, these minges paintings 48 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,880 need putting on fucking ice, you know.Hang on, hang on, hang on, 49 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:56,000 Whitney Houston, we have a problem. What's the problem? 50 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,600 Whitney Houston, we have a problem. What's the problem? 51 00:02:57,640 --> 00:03:00,240 The problem is thus, Ashley. That fucking massive canvas is not 52 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,600 gonna fit down a tiny little hole, is it?Course it will. 53 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,000 You just need to... angle it in. 54 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:04,040 You just need to... angle it in. 55 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:05,960 Erin, Erin, it doesn't matter about angling, 56 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,720 it's fucking physics i'nt it, love? Shut up! It's fucking open? 57 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,000 Why is it open? Who left that up? 58 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,000 Stretch and pull. 59 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:12,800 Stretch and pull. 60 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:16,000 "Stretch, stretch it, pull, pull!" 61 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,200 Doors wide open and all the fucking lights on. 62 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,000 Someone's there. What? 63 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:20,400 Someone's there. What? 64 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,520 Someone's in there. It's probably just Jim. 65 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:25,640 No, look, we've just done big robbery though, haven't we? Carol's right. 66 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:27,600 Could be a fucking bad man. 67 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:28,000 Or a woman.Or a trans woman. Do you... Are we having this now? 68 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,360 Or a woman.Or a trans woman. Do you... Are we having this now? 69 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,800 "Yeah, baby!" Go on. Stretch it, pull it. 70 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,000 Hang about a minute, if I'm not mistaken, that there is the sound 71 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,920 Hang about a minute, if I'm not mistaken, that there is the sound 72 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:41,440 of a faked female orgasm from circa, I'm gonna say, 1983. 73 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,000 Why would a 1980s woman be faking a creamer in the weed bunker? 74 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:44,400 Why would a 1980s woman be faking a creamer in the weed bunker? 75 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:45,840 Creamer? Yeah. 76 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,200 Ugh, oh, my God. Sorry. 77 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,000 Fucking hell. I can't stop it. 78 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:52,760 Fucking hell. I can't stop it. 79 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,080 Don't finish it! 80 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,960 Fucking hell, mate. Ohhh... 81 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,960 Well I can't un-see that now, can I? 82 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,000 Hey, don't try and wank-shame me. You should be terribly ashamed. 83 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,080 Hey, don't try and wank-shame me. You should be terribly ashamed. 84 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:05,000 Be ashamed, you've brought fucking Vaseline. 85 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:06,760 It's perfectly natural. 86 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,000 Having a wank doesn't make me a bad person. 87 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:08,840 Having a wank doesn't make me a bad person. 88 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:11,320 It fucking does when you're doing it in someone's workplace. 89 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,360 You've got your lube there and cling filmed up 90 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,360 your own fucking laptop for it. So bad. 91 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:16,000 I'm sorry... I'm sorry. I'm gonna get a mop 92 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,400 I'm sorry... I'm sorry. I'm gonna get a mop 93 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,200 because I can't have your jizzy smears in my general vicinity.Mm. 94 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:21,760 Just wiping his hands. It's not nice. 95 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,400 What are you even fucking doing 'ere? 96 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:24,000 Oh, my sister's visiting. Yeah, but it doesn't fucking mean 97 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,040 Oh, my sister's visiting. Yeah, but it doesn't fucking mean 98 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,320 you can just come down 'ere and blow fucking loads 99 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,480 all over the shagging place, does it? 100 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,000 Why have you brought special wank shoes? 101 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:32,760 Why have you brought special wank shoes? 102 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,200 They're not mine. Mine are at home. 103 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,880 You motherfuckers underestimated me. 104 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,040 You decided to cross me... 105 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:46,960 well now, you're gonna pay. 106 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,640 Oh... Er... 107 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,320 The duckies... 108 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:04,000 Hiya, love. Hiya. 109 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:04,560 Hiya, love. Hiya. 110 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,960 You alright? 111 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,480 What's up with you now? 112 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:13,760 Poo scenario. 113 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:17,000 Have you had a poo? 114 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,240 You have had a p... 115 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:20,000 It's not a problem. It's not a problem. 116 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,360 It's not a problem. It's not a problem. 117 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,760 - Little... Did you...? - Ooh, fuck, whaaa... 118 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,240 Argh, no, wow. 119 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:27,400 Contain. 120 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,120 Oh, Christ. 121 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,520 Oh, hey up.Hey. It's been a while, hasn't it! 122 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:36,000 You alright?Yeah, I'm alright. Yeah.What's happening? 123 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,160 You alright?Yeah, I'm alright. Yeah.What's happening? 124 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,400 Had my face pissed on a little bit. Didn't know you had a baba. 125 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,000 He's not mine. You remember Sugar, who cleaned your house?Pregnant one? 126 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:44,640 He's not mine. You remember Sugar, who cleaned your house?Pregnant one? 127 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,280 Yeah, that's the badger. I'm just looking after it, aren't I? 128 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,080 Cos she's busy, and JJ, dad, 129 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,000 he's... He's away so... 130 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:52,240 he's... He's away so... 131 00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:55,080 Mad, I was thinking about you just yesterday.How come? 132 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:58,120 Yeah, I'm doing a rat job up at Bletchley Dale and erm... 133 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,000 There's this old fella, Maurice Finch. 134 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:00,120 There's this old fella, Maurice Finch. 135 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,600 I've known him for years, but for some reason, yesterday, 136 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:05,000 he just starts telling me he used to be a career criminal. 137 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,480 Oh, aye, yeah.Some of the mad stories he was coming out with, 138 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:08,000 and I thought you would get a proper buzz outta meeting him. 139 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,880 and I thought you would get a proper buzz outta meeting him. 140 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,440 Fuck yeah, let's do it. I'm bobbing up there after. 141 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,800 When are you dropping the nipper back?Couple of hours. 142 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:16,000 I can't fucking wait. I bet.Uh-uh. 143 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:16,960 I can't fucking wait. I bet.Uh-uh. 144 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,080 So, this is where retired criminals go, is it? 145 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,160 Bletchley Dale Estate, with your fucking red 146 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,480 1970s Capri out front. Christ. 147 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:32,000 There we are. 148 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,200 There we are. 149 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:37,040 Dong ding. 150 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:40,000 Now then.Hey up, Maurice. Vinnie, I were telling you about. 151 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,080 Now then.Hey up, Maurice. Vinnie, I were telling you about. 152 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,960 I'm not, listen... 153 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,640 And there were a fucking bloke, with a tiny moustache 154 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,000 and a bell end for a bell end. 155 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:48,360 and a bell end for a bell end. 156 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,640 Lowry minge paintings? Fucking eh. Yeah man. 157 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:53,480 So, go on, tell me your game then? 158 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,000 Booze and fags was our bread and butter.Mm. 159 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:56,080 Booze and fags was our bread and butter.Mm. 160 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,000 Back in the '80s, when everyone smoked, 161 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,880 we were smuggling in millions. But I'll tell you this, Vinnie. 162 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,000 Nothing will ever achieve what my grandad achieved. 163 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:04,480 Nothing will ever achieve what my grandad achieved. 164 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:05,920 He was a great thief. 165 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,560 Well, go on then. 166 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,800 Yeah. You can't leave us fucking hanging. 167 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:11,680 You gotta tell us about your grandad. 168 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:12,000 You look like a man who can keep a secret. 169 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,160 You look like a man who can keep a secret. 170 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,600 Fucking right. But you must tell no one.Uh-uh. 171 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,560 Swear on the rat catcher's life. 172 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,000 Don't swear on my life. 110%, swear on his life. 173 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,280 Don't swear on my life. 110%, swear on his life. 174 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,200 Wow. No one loves you anyway. 175 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:27,840 Fucking hell's bells. 176 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,720 Who's are all these then? I've no idea. 177 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,560 I got 'em from knocking off a trophy shop. 178 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,000 They're all a cover for this bad boy. 179 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,360 They're all a cover for this bad boy. 180 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,560 Where's he going? 181 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:47,200 Oh... But I mean... I'm... What is it? 182 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,560 One of the greatest achievements in the art of thievery, 183 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,000 the original FA Cup. 184 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,240 the original FA Cup. 185 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,000 You're fucking joking. No fucking way. 186 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,320 Stolen on September the 12th, 1895. 187 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:00,000 By my grandfather, Tobias Finch, and three other men. 188 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,240 By my grandfather, Tobias Finch, and three other men. 189 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:04,960 Rumours of its whereabouts have circulated ever since. 190 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,280 Can I have a...? Can I have hold of it? 191 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,000 As long as you don't drop it. No. 192 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:08,880 As long as you don't drop it. No. 193 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,400 Just be careful. 194 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,560 Woah. Fucking hell, Maurice. 195 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,880 Dude, that is... Oh, my God. 196 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,000 That's insane. 197 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:16,200 That's insane. 198 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,400 Has that been in your family and hidden, this whole time? 199 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:22,400 How did they get hold of it? Well, gentlemen... 200 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,600 ..therein lies a tale. 201 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,440 Hm. But remember your promise... 202 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:31,000 you can't tell a living soul. 203 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,000 I swear on his life. Don't swear on it. 204 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:32,640 I swear on his life. Don't swear on it. 205 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,400 The actual FA cup. 206 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:37,000 I have been trusted with that information. 207 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:40,000 So, I'd like to see the zip gesture, please. Come on. 208 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,520 So, I'd like to see the zip gesture, please. Come on. 209 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,200 How the fuck did they steal a fucking cup? 210 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,480 Oh, it's sick, dude, listen to this shit. So... 211 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,000 It was just past midnight, and rumbles of thunder 212 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,160 It was just past midnight, and rumbles of thunder 213 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,960 disturbed the skies over Birmingham. 214 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,840 Four masked men stood in the darkness, on a flat roof. 215 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:56,000 Above a boot and shoe shop in New Town Row. 216 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,280 Above a boot and shoe shop in New Town Row. 217 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,440 Before smashing a hole in the ceiling. 218 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,520 Two men, one of them my grandfather, 219 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:04,000 lowered themselves into the deserted shop. 220 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,280 lowered themselves into the deserted shop. 221 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:10,280 And there, mounted on a stand, 222 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,000 was the original Football Association Challenge Cup. 223 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,520 was the original Football Association Challenge Cup. 224 00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,880 Now, the question you might ask is... 225 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,200 What's the original FA Cup doing in a shop in Birmingham? 226 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:20,000 Five months earlier, Aston Villa played their arch rivals, West Brom, 227 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:24,000 Five months earlier, Aston Villa played their arch rivals, West Brom, 228 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,000 in the 24th FA Cup final. 229 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,000 Aston Villa kicked off. 230 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:28,240 Aston Villa kicked off. 231 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:32,000 In the very first minute, they won a free kick. 232 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,440 The ball was hit long, eventually gaining its way 233 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:36,000 to Villa's Captain Chatt, 234 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:36,200 to Villa's Captain Chatt, 235 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,320 who slammed his volley into the top corner. 236 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:44,000 Villa held onto their lead, lifting the 1895 FA Cup. 237 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,040 Villa held onto their lead, lifting the 1895 FA Cup. 238 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,160 They took the cup back to Birmingham 239 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,320 where it was stored in Villa's Perry Barr ground, 240 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:52,000 until a 73-year-old businessman, 241 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,640 William Tillcock... Or was it Shillcock? 242 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:56,520 William Thrillcock, more like. 243 00:09:56,560 --> 00:10:00,000 He asked for permission to display the trophy in his shop for a week. 244 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:00,200 He asked for permission to display the trophy in his shop for a week. 245 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,200 And when Shillcock opened up in the morning, 246 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,080 he was horrified to discover that the cup was missing. 247 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:06,760 The cup. 248 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:13,320 Detectives Mark Brown and Ian Slater arrived to investigate. 249 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:16,000 Ian Slater as in Ian Slater bums dogs? 250 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,080 Ian Slater as in Ian Slater bums dogs? 251 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:19,600 Mr Shillcock? 252 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:23,200 They inspected the crime scene and concluded that... 253 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,000 They must have scaled that 12-foot wall. 254 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,320 They must have scaled that 12-foot wall. 255 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,280 And he made the assumption that... 256 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:31,000 The evidence suggests it's youths, probably high jinks. 257 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:32,000 We'll have that cup back before sundown. 258 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,280 We'll have that cup back before sundown. 259 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,320 His optimism was misplaced. 260 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:39,000 Back then, the cup was only worth �20, 261 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,000 but now, after all this time... 262 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,440 but now, after all this time... 263 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,520 ..it's priceless. 264 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,000 Wow. Wow.Wow. 265 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,400 Wow. Wow.Wow. 266 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,520 Are we gonna nick it? No, we're not gonna steal it. 267 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,240 I'm trying to tell you a special tale. 268 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,600 I'm not selling you a fucking job. It is a good story, Vin. 269 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:56,000 I have to go. Got a date with sandwich man. 270 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,360 I have to go. Got a date with sandwich man. 271 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,080 I'm meeting his parents for the first time. Wish me luck. 272 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,520 We have to go as well cos I have a pasta bake in the oven, 273 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:04,000 and we have to watch the last three episodes of Minder. 274 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,160 and we have to watch the last three episodes of Minder. 275 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,360 What's Minder?TV show. We've been binging it, 114 episodes. 276 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:12,000 I too must attend to my, er, pressing concerns. 277 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:12,600 I too must attend to my, er, pressing concerns. 278 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,040 Why are YOU going? Need I remind you, Vincent, that 279 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,440 I am the proprietor of Hawley's premier entertainment venue. 280 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,000 I thought it was half empty since the other place 281 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:20,720 I thought it was half empty since the other place 282 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,320 opened down the street. Hey. Hey. 283 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,640 Don't mention that fucking shitheap round me, alright? 284 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:28,000 You have a very attractive angry face, do you know that? 285 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:28,040 You have a very attractive angry face, do you know that? 286 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,400 Thank you. 287 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:46,760 Oh, fucking hell! 288 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:59,200 Jesus. Fucking fuck. 289 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,160 Who you hiding from?Who do you fucking think I'm hiding from? 290 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,200 Stupid old twat. Look, across, 291 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,880 fucking Davey MacDonagh and Donna MacDonagh. 292 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:12,240 Like a little fucking dachshund down there, sniffing round my arse. 293 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,520 German dogs, dachshunds. I know what they are! 294 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:16,000 Rommel had one. Oh... 295 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,760 Rommel had one. Oh... 296 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,400 Aggressive, they are. Right. 297 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,040 And needy. Right. 298 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,520 Prone to obesity. Stop telling me.And chlamydia. 299 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:24,000 I don't give a fuck about fat slaggy dogs with fucking VD, do I? 300 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:28,240 I don't give a fuck about fat slaggy dogs with fucking VD, do I? 301 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,280 Get me the fuck out of here, dude. 302 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,000 What's in it for me?What do you mean "what's in it for you"? 303 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,120 What's in it for me?What do you mean "what's in it for you"? 304 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:36,000 What do you fucking want? Four cans of stout 305 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,160 and a packet of Chilli Heatwave Doritos. 306 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,000 Done. That's a good deal. Right, on my mark, wait... 307 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:40,920 Done. That's a good deal. Right, on my mark, wait... 308 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,040 OK, now! 309 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,000 Vin?! I'm coming... I'm... Ugh. 310 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,360 Vin?! I'm coming... I'm... Ugh. 311 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,960 Fucking open the door now! I'm coming. 312 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,280 Fucking outrageous. What's going on? I'm gonna ask you once, 313 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:04,000 alright, and I want a fucking straight answer.Mm. 314 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,160 alright, and I want a fucking straight answer.Mm. 315 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,520 Did you nick the FA cup? What? 316 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:12,000 Don't fuck about with me, Vin. He's been fucking robbed, 317 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:12,320 Don't fuck about with me, Vin. He's been fucking robbed, 318 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,120 and he only fucking told me and you. 319 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,600 When...? When were...? When were this, then?Last night. 320 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,440 Oof. He was with me all night. 321 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:20,000 He got too pissed to walk home. Oh, yeah? 322 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,720 He got too pissed to walk home. Oh, yeah? 323 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,840 Same bed, was it? Mm. 324 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,480 If I was gonna get gay, do you think I'd choose him? 325 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,000 I'd choose someone broad, someone masculine, 326 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,000 I'd choose someone broad, someone masculine, 327 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:33,120 who works with their hands. And I've thought about this, 328 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,440 I would not swallow. Dude... 329 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:36,000 I tasted me own once, by accident, 330 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,000 I tasted me own once, by accident, 331 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,320 and it was like fucking wallpaper paste, 332 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,760 with lumps in it.Fuck... Stop! Go and make a fucking 333 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,000 cup of tea or something, you wretched old bastard. 334 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,240 cup of tea or something, you wretched old bastard. 335 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,760 I mean, right, listen. The whole house has that been robbed, 336 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,520 or is it just the fucking cup? They knew to go to the garage. 337 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,000 They knew where the cup was. 338 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:52,280 They knew where the cup was. 339 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,320 Maurice, he is beside himself, 340 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:57,320 man he is fucking devastated. 341 00:13:57,360 --> 00:14:00,000 I didn't tell a soul, so who the fuck did you blab to? 342 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:00,920 I didn't tell a soul, so who the fuck did you blab to? 343 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,160 I did tell souls. 344 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,040 You fucking swore on my life, man. 345 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:08,000 I... Fingers-crossed job, though, when I said it.Fingers crossed? 346 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:08,680 I... Fingers-crossed job, though, when I said it.Fingers crossed? 347 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,760 Don't get upset. If I fucking drop down dead now... 348 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,880 Listen, it's just superstition that. 349 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:16,000 Really it is. Honest to God, Cardi, Carol and them. 350 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,000 Really it is. Honest to God, Cardi, Carol and them. 351 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,280 They're not gonna rob the fucking FA Cup, are they? 352 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:22,000 Well, someone has, and Maurice thinks it's us. 353 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,840 All that fuss over a tin can. 354 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,800 I fuckin' told him an' all. 355 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,000 I'll tell you summat right now. It's gone and got robbed. 356 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,680 I'll tell you summat right now. It's gone and got robbed. 357 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,520 Yeah? Since I told all you, they think it's me, don't they? 358 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:46,080 It doesn't fucking sit well. 359 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,000 Listen, I'm going through every fucking one of ya. 360 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:48,680 Listen, I'm going through every fucking one of ya. 361 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,200 Cardi... who have you told? 362 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,360 Why are you starting with me? You're on the end, love. 363 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,800 I have to start somewhere, you know what I mean?I went home, 364 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:56,000 and I watched Minder, with my wife, Carol, who is my alibi. 365 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:59,280 and I watched Minder, with my wife, Carol, who is my alibi. 366 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,240 He did indeed because the theme tune won't stop playing round in my head 367 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,000 like an "eargasm". Thomas, who have you told? 368 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,160 like an "eargasm". Thomas, who have you told? 369 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,360 Who the mucky fuck would I be talking to about football? 370 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,960 I only know perverts, don't I? That's true. Ashley... 371 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,280 ..who have you told? Not a soul. 372 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,200 I was on a date, sure. What would I be doing 373 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:20,000 telling anyone about an 1895 FA Cup from the- 374 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:20,640 telling anyone about an 1895 FA Cup from the- 375 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,240 Lying high voice. He's going very high voiced. 376 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:26,160 Very high voiced indeed. Right, OK, fine... Look... 377 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:28,000 I panicked, alright... Get talking. Come on 378 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,000 I panicked, alright... Get talking. Come on 379 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,280 It was the dinner... 380 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,480 with sandwich man and his parents. 381 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,000 They didn't like me from the beginning. 382 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:36,120 They didn't like me from the beginning. 383 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,840 We always wanted grandchildren, didn't we, Stan? 384 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,160 So, there I was, trying to over compensate. 385 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,000 Did you know the original 1895 FA Cup was stolen and not found again? 386 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,840 Did you know the original 1895 FA Cup was stolen and not found again? 387 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:47,720 Fucking fuck. Did it work, at least? 388 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:51,560 Yes, Tommo, it did work. His father gave me a brandy. 389 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:52,000 Fuck your brandy! Where does...? 390 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,280 Fuck your brandy! Where does...? 391 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:57,320 Is his fucking dad the kind of dad that gets dressed up in dark clothes 392 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,400 and maybe break into someone else's fucking house 393 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:00,000 and rob an ancient trophy of some kind?It's not him, I tell yer. 394 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,080 and rob an ancient trophy of some kind?It's not him, I tell yer. 395 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:05,680 I didn't even tell him the name of the house.You mean to tell me... 396 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:08,000 that you didn't mention a house on Bletchley Dale Estate. 397 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,080 that you didn't mention a house on Bletchley Dale Estate. 398 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:14,200 No, I didn't say a word about the house, to the daddy, 399 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,000 but I did tell sandwich man, himself.AH! 400 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,160 but I did tell sandwich man, himself.AH! 401 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,280 Oh, Ashley! 402 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,920 Don't start with the "Ashley"! Fucking fucker! 403 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,880 He would never steal an FA Cup or not'in. 404 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:24,000 And I suppose, just putting this out there, 405 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,720 And I suppose, just putting this out there, 406 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,880 I suppose, right, you are in fact his alibi, 407 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,640 are you not, because, you know, you spent the evening... 408 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,000 I'm surmising, making the beast with two backs? 409 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:32,720 I'm surmising, making the beast with two backs? 410 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,680 Well, not exactly, no. What do you mean, "not exactly"? 411 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,680 There was an argument at the end of the night. 412 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,040 Hi, gorgeous. Hi. How's it going? 413 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,240 Great. Well done with the football chat. 414 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:48,000 Thanks. 415 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,040 Thanks. 416 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,680 What are you doing? Two minutes, they'll never know. 417 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,960 We can't... 418 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,320 Two minutes? Yeah. 419 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:56,000 You had sex in his parents' house? 420 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,240 You had sex in his parents' house? 421 00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:00,120 I did, in his parents' bed, as well. Dog was sitting there watching. 422 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,400 Fair play to you. Fair play to you. 423 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,680 Oh, up the midfield. 424 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:04,000 Up the midfield. 425 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,200 Up the midfield. 426 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:06,800 And what about the argument? 427 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,480 That was in the taxi on the way home. 428 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,720 First of all we were sitting there cuddling and then... 429 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,000 You brought the condom out, right, you didn't just leave it there? 430 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,520 You brought the condom out, right, you didn't just leave it there? 431 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:16,920 No. You said you were doing that. The fuck? 432 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,520 I didn't even wanna fuck in your parents' bedroom. 433 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,240 Do you know what's happened here? You've pissed him off. 434 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,000 And maybe he's fucking stolen it out of fucking revenge 435 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,160 And maybe he's fucking stolen it out of fucking revenge 436 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,080 or summat like that.Sandwich man would not steal the FA Cup. 437 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,440 He's our only suspect. In't he? 438 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:36,000 Aww, have you recovered darling? 439 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,400 Aww, have you recovered darling? 440 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,760 He was smashed off his head in here last night.What? 441 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,160 Up on stage, singing karaoke. Karaoke? 442 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:44,000 Hm, yeah. Did that duet with your brother.My brother? 443 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,440 Hm, yeah. Did that duet with your brother.My brother? 444 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:46,720 Which brother? Niall or Mick? 445 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:47,920 # Cockles and 446 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,120 # Mussels... 447 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:51,520 # Alive, alive, oh... # 448 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:52,000 - Er, the thick one. - Mick! 449 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,640 - Er, the thick one. - Mick! 450 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:54,720 It's Mick. 451 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,120 Yeah, motherfucker. 452 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,800 Start fucking talking right now. 453 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,000 I don't know nothin' about it. I swear on my Uncle Teagan's life. 454 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:00,400 I don't know nothin' about it. I swear on my Uncle Teagan's life. 455 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,480 Uncle Teagan's dead. Is he? 456 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:03,880 Yeah, they buried him, anyway. 457 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:05,360 Christ. Well... Well, all the same, 458 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,840 I don't know anything about any theft of any FA cup. 459 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:08,000 Oh, right. So he told you the story? Oh, yeah. It's a good story. 460 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,760 Oh, right. So he told you the story? Oh, yeah. It's a good story. 461 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,040 That old guy there, on the Bletchley Dale Estate. 462 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,080 Keeping that Cup all those years. 463 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:16,000 But I was too nervous last night to really care. 464 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,200 But I was too nervous last night to really care. 465 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,000 I was only in the pub for Talent Night. 466 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:21,640 The fuck is your talent? 467 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,680 Stand-up comedy. Gor... Fuck me. 468 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:24,000 So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means... 469 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,200 So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means... 470 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,600 It's not the end of the world. 471 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,200 Fuck off! 472 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,000 You did this last night at the Crow's Nest?Yeah. 473 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:32,640 You did this last night at the Crow's Nest?Yeah. 474 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,480 Before the karaoke. Who have you spoke to 475 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,280 after fucking blabbermouth here were done with yer?Yeah. 476 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,000 No one, I swear. I came back here, and went I went to bed. 477 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,280 No one, I swear. I came back here, and went I went to bed. 478 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,440 Oh no, no. I stopped off at the chippy. 479 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,440 Oh, fuck, you didn't tell Val and Ian? 480 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,000 No, no, I don't speak with Val and Ian, unless to say my order. 481 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:48,680 No, no, I don't speak with Val and Ian, unless to say my order. 482 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:50,600 And why not? She has a man voice, 483 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,200 and he's a fucking lady voice. Freaks me out. 484 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,000 - There you go, darling. - 4.50, please, mate. 485 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,160 - There you go, darling. - 4.50, please, mate. 486 00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:00,280 It is strange. Alright, just listen. 487 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,640 You've been to the chippy, you've had your chips. 488 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,000 Right? Who have you spoken to after that? 489 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,840 Right? Who have you spoken to after that? 490 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:07,480 No one. Thank God for that. 491 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:08,880 Or did I tell Niall? Fuck! 492 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,560 Carol, what's up? 493 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:12,000 Niall, how's it going? Is it my mother? 494 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,040 Niall, how's it going? Is it my mother? 495 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,760 Oh, no, no, no, no emergency, no. 496 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,400 Just, er... Just thought I'd give my little brother a call, 497 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,000 see how you were doing. Bullshit, Carol. Who's dead? 498 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:20,880 see how you were doing. Bullshit, Carol. Who's dead? 499 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:22,600 No. No. I just haven't seen you in a while. 500 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,680 Thought we'd meet for an old pint and a catch up. 501 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,320 Ask him where he is? Where are ya? 502 00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:28,000 I am busy, working. Working? 503 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,400 I am busy, working. Working? 504 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:32,800 Yes, working. I haven't got time to be standing here talking to you. 505 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,400 The ferry to Dublin is now boarding from bay six. 506 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:36,000 Listen, I have to go. I have to go. OK. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. 507 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,120 Listen, I have to go. I have to go. OK. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. 508 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,520 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Alright.Dublin.Fuck. 509 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,440 Dublin.What the fuck's he gone to Dublin for? 510 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,000 He goes regular, for his poker tournaments 511 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:44,320 He goes regular, for his poker tournaments 512 00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,840 and to off-load counterfeit dollars. Counterfeit dollars? 513 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,560 Yeah. The Irish spend them in New York. 514 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:52,000 So, does he know a lot of dodgy folk in Dublin?The cunt knows everybody. 515 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:52,280 So, does he know a lot of dodgy folk in Dublin?The cunt knows everybody. 516 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:53,880 He's a right sly bastard. 517 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:55,360 That's exactly the shit he'd do. 518 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,720 How often do the bloody ferries run then?Twice a day, from Holyhead. 519 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:00,000 W-When's the last one? 3:00pm. 520 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,720 W-When's the last one? 3:00pm. 521 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,280 How do you know that? I like ferries. 522 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,920 And I know exactly where he'll go: 523 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,320 Auntie Aoife's. Yeah. 524 00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:08,000 Because he's so fucking tight, he would not pay 525 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,240 Because he's so fucking tight, he would not pay 526 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:10,640 for a hotel or a guest house. 527 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:13,520 He's as tight as a goat's hole going up the side of a cliff. 528 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,760 He'll be at Auntie Aoife's and Uncle Eldon's, 529 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:16,000 the nice little guest house on O'Grainy Lane. Come on. 530 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,920 the nice little guest house on O'Grainy Lane. Come on. 531 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,880 Deceptacon # 532 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:28,240 # Every day and night 533 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:31,240 # Every day and ni-i-ght 534 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,000 # I can see your disco, disco 535 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,880 # I can see your disco, disco 536 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,680 # Dick is sucking my heart of out my mind 537 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,920 # One, two, three, four 538 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:40,000 # You got what you been asking for... 539 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,120 # You got what you been asking for... 540 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,080 ..touch 'em, just left them. 541 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:46,440 No, they didn't stink. They were all kind of... 542 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,000 stained. 543 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:48,200 stained. 544 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,920 Patchy.Excuse... No, they weren't mine, 545 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,240 they were my stepdad's... Excuse me, very important, 546 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,720 important, can you...? I gotta go. 547 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:56,000 Yeah. We want tickets for the Dublin ferry, for all of us and one car. 548 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,920 Yeah. We want tickets for the Dublin ferry, for all of us and one car. 549 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,240 Well, all the car ferries are gone. Eh? 550 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:04,000 There's only a foot-passenger ferry. But it doesn't say on't website. 551 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:04,320 There's only a foot-passenger ferry. But it doesn't say on't website. 552 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,280 Write in. I will.Do. 553 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,720 I fucking will. You should.Fine.Fine. 554 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:12,000 Jesus... Fuck. Can someone just pay patchy pants here? 555 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:12,320 Jesus... Fuck. Can someone just pay patchy pants here? 556 00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:18,880 # Is alright, alright, alright, alright, alright... # 557 00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:23,360 Fuck you, other ferry. 558 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,120 OK, so I'm gonna start. 559 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,880 It's fucking hopeless this, it's shite. 560 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,000 I found out I'm afraid of elevators, so I'm taking steps to avoid it. 561 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,800 I found out I'm afraid of elevators, so I'm taking steps to avoid it. 562 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,760 What's the problem with eating a clock? 563 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,720 Eh? Too time consuming. 564 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:36,000 You'll have to stop. It's fucking shite. 565 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,880 You'll have to stop. It's fucking shite. 566 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:39,880 Found out my friend couldn't pay her water bill, 567 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,400 so I sent them a get-WELL-soon card. 568 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,000 Oh, my God. Stop fucking encouraging him. 569 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:44,840 Oh, my God. Stop fucking encouraging him. 570 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:46,960 No one's enjoying it, love. Come on, Michael. 571 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,560 Come and have a minute with us. Be a good lad now. 572 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,000 Hey, how's your mate, Erin? 573 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:52,560 Hey, how's your mate, Erin? 574 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,880 She's fine, yeah. All good. Where is she? 575 00:21:57,360 --> 00:21:59,080 Well now, therein lies a story. 576 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:00,000 Well, go on, then. We've got a... 577 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,120 Well, go on, then. We've got a... 578 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,880 sea crossing to fill, eh? Carol? 579 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,720 What love? UGH! 580 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,000 Jesus Christ. My good fucking coat! 581 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:08,640 Jesus Christ. My good fucking coat! 582 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,200 Sorry. Jesus Christ, like. 583 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:13,120 Dirty Old Town # 584 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,000 # Dreamed a dream 585 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:16,520 # Dreamed a dream 586 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,360 # By the old canal 587 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,120 # I kissed my girl 588 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,640 # By the factory wall 589 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,920 # Dirty old town... # 590 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:32,000 Here's your new house now, lads. Look at this gaff. 591 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,080 Here's your new house now, lads. Look at this gaff. 592 00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:35,360 Ooh! Great spot. 593 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:40,000 Aww fucking stiff as a board in there. 594 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:41,480 Christ. 595 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,320 Thanks, man. 596 00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:46,640 They're lovely people now, are my auntie and uncle, 597 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,000 but there's a few things you'll have to ignore, OK? 598 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:48,720 but there's a few things you'll have to ignore, OK? 599 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,400 When she's talking, an awful bit of spittle comes out. 600 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,680 Hm.Now and again. But he has a very, very big facial wart, 601 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,000 OK, that the eyes are tend to be drawn to. 602 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:56,800 OK, that the eyes are tend to be drawn to. 603 00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:58,800 But please do not talk into it, OK, 604 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,600 cos he's very, very sensitive about it. 605 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,520 He's also in the closet still, very much. Like, we all know, 606 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:04,000 we're supposed to pretend we don't know. We know. 607 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,000 we're supposed to pretend we don't know. We know. 608 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,320 They sound lovely.You think he's a giver or a taker? 609 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:10,640 He's a taker. No, he takes it. Kids. 610 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,000 Carol, Ashley, Michael. Come in here now 611 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,200 Carol, Ashley, Michael. Come in here now 612 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,080 and give your auntie a big hug. Oh! 613 00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:18,960 Hi, Auntie.Hi, Auntie. 614 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,000 And who are these reprobates? 615 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,680 And who are these reprobates? 616 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,760 Oh-ho, here he is now, Uncle Eldon, are you well? 617 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:28,000 How you getting on? That's, Vinnie and Tommo 618 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:28,680 How you getting on? That's, Vinnie and Tommo 619 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,600 and Cardi and this is, er, Curtis Plum, Uncle Eldon. 620 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,120 Well, eh, thanks for having us all the same. 621 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,000 Oh, bring it in for a hug. Alright, argh. 622 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,840 Oh, bring it in for a hug. Alright, argh. 623 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,880 Oh! Argh! 624 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,840 - Argh. - Argh. 625 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,000 No more of you. 626 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:44,920 No more of you. 627 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:48,240 Quite the day we're after having. To what do we owe the honour? 628 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,240 We're on our jolly, back in the Emerald Isle, 629 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,000 showing the lads the sights. 630 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:52,280 showing the lads the sights. 631 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,080 You haven't seen our Niall kicking about, have ya?Now, he, er... 632 00:23:55,120 --> 00:23:58,400 dropped his stuff off in room three, said he had business to attend to. 633 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:00,000 Sound. Room three.Three it is. 634 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:00,280 Sound. Room three.Three it is. 635 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:01,840 Can we have a look around, maybe? 636 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,000 There you are. There... There you are, 637 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,000 There you are. There... There you are, 638 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,520 - a bit of Schweppes. - Oh... 639 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,280 Well, that's a no, then. Fuck. 640 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:16,000 I remember Aston Villa's glory days, 641 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,680 I remember Aston Villa's glory days, 642 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,040 not the 1895 ones, 643 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:23,160 the 1980's European Cup. 644 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,000 Their goalkeeper, Jimmy Rimmer, got a neck injury 645 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,400 Their goalkeeper, Jimmy Rimmer, got a neck injury 646 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,600 and was stretchered off, replaced by a youngster, 647 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:31,560 Nigel Spink. 648 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:32,000 Ha. With his tight little blue shorts, 649 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,320 Ha. With his tight little blue shorts, 650 00:24:35,360 --> 00:24:37,720 bum cheeks visible. 651 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,000 That's a very visceral image. 652 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:40,840 That's a very visceral image. 653 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:45,240 D-Did Niall say w-where he were going when he went out? 654 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,440 No, you know Niall, 655 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:48,000 always blustering around. 656 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,680 always blustering around. 657 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,000 He used my laptop, though, 658 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,640 asked if he could go on it as he had no data. 659 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,000 Oh, oh. Oh, right, OK. And er, Aoife, love, 660 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,160 Oh, oh. Oh, right, OK. And er, Aoife, love, 661 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,680 might we by any chance peruse the afore mentioned laptop? 662 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,240 Yep, for sure, laptop there. 663 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:04,000 Right. 664 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:04,520 Right. 665 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,440 Now...Come on, lads. Here you are. 666 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,760 Right. Ah. 667 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,000 The games awaits. OK. Password? 668 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:12,680 The games awaits. OK. Password? 669 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,440 Tonsillitis. Ah! 670 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,920 Fucking hell, love. Like, "tonsillitis" as a password, 671 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:20,000 why have you got it as a password? I can't even spell it.Exactly, 672 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,280 why have you got it as a password? I can't even spell it.Exactly, 673 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,240 so you'll never guess it. 674 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:28,000 Two Ts, three Is, two S's. 675 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:28,080 Two Ts, three Is, two S's. 676 00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:30,200 I sort of, sort of asked for that didn't I, really? 677 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:31,680 Yeah, alright. Er... 678 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,280 Right, here we go. 679 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,000 We have one search for "how to back", bake, 680 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,600 We have one search for "how to back", bake, 681 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,920 "a light-as-a-fairy cake." 682 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,040 Oh, that was me. That's you, yeah, alright, 683 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,000 OK, and then we've got "Japanese boy wrestling." 684 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:44,520 OK, and then we've got "Japanese boy wrestling." 685 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,400 That was me. 686 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:47,640 Theme emerging, I see. 687 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,160 Ah, and then a search for... 688 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:52,000 "tanning salon and nail bar. Glow Job." 689 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,480 "tanning salon and nail bar. Glow Job." 690 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:57,760 Glow Job, is that that place up Tremaine Street, Aoife? 691 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,000 You know, I think it is. Now you mention it, 692 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:00,760 You know, I think it is. Now you mention it, 693 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:04,200 straight after he used the laptop, he used the landline. 694 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,920 Does your home phone happen to have a redial function on it? 695 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,000 I've never really noticed it. How does she reach? 696 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,600 "This is Glow Job, where the sun is always shining. 697 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,000 "No one here at the moment. 698 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:16,280 "No one here at the moment. 699 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,600 Leave a message, and we'll get back to you." 700 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,240 Oi, oi. Grab-c-Nesbit. 701 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,720 I recognise that voice. It's Mardie Fisher. 702 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:24,000 Who's Mardie Fisher? He used to be a contortionist. 703 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:24,960 Who's Mardie Fisher? He used to be a contortionist. 704 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,800 Extortionist.Right, whatever. He got into all kinds of bother. 705 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,040 He... It cost him his hair, all the worry. 706 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,000 He used to have lovely long locks, so he did.Right. 707 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:32,280 He used to have lovely long locks, so he did.Right. 708 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,320 so we've got an ex extortionist, bald as a coot 709 00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:36,800 but with a criminal past, runs a tanning salon-And nail bar. 710 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:38,520 And a nail bar, up this Tremaine Street. 711 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:40,000 Mm.This could be a front for illegal wheeling and dealing. 712 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,040 Mm.This could be a front for illegal wheeling and dealing. 713 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,040 Where's Tremaine Street, then? A couple of miles as the crow flies. 714 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,480 No, we can't go by crow. Be a bit further then. 715 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:48,000 You can use my car if you like. Your car? 716 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,120 You can use my car if you like. Your car? 717 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,840 There's seven of 'em. Well, they can squeeze together. 718 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,680 Like we did in the Army. 719 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,000 No. 720 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:56,720 No. 721 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,560 My grandfather had a heart of a lion 722 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,000 but a lifetime ban at the local zoo. Dude. 723 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:16,000 Shut the fuck up, Michael. Your jokes are terrible. 724 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:20,000 Come here, lad. 725 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:20,160 Come here, lad. 726 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:21,720 Fucking hair-do on him. 727 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,080 We're closed. Can you not read? 728 00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:26,760 I struggle, dyslexic. 729 00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:28,000 What about your friends? Can they not read? 730 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:28,720 What about your friends? Can they not read? 731 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:32,280 They're all dyslexic as well. Look, listen, 732 00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:34,960 has Niall Dennings been in here, by any fucking chance? 733 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,000 Never heard of him. 734 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:36,840 Never heard of him. 735 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,320 Now give over. Cos we know he's been in there. 736 00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:40,960 We don't want any trouble. 737 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,960 Let us in. We'll have a bit of a chat. 738 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:44,000 We're closed. Let me have a fucking word with him. 739 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,200 We're closed. Let me have a fucking word with him. 740 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,240 Mr Fisher, I'm Niall's sister, Carol, alright? 741 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,400 Now, he's after being an awful fucking eejit, 742 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,000 and he's also taken something that doesn't belong to him, 743 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:52,760 and he's also taken something that doesn't belong to him, 744 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,920 so you're gonna have to open that door now 745 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:57,360 or we are gonna start kicking it with our feet. 746 00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:58,800 Get at it. Fucks sake. 747 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:00,000 Alright, take it easy. 748 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,120 Alright, take it easy. 749 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:04,160 Keep your bollocks on. What a gentleman. 750 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:05,640 Don't Waste My Time # 751 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:08,000 # Remember when you said... # 752 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,240 # Remember when you said... # 753 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,240 OK, let me think. Let me think. It's coming back to me, 754 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,000 coming back to me. Niall... Niall... Oh, yeah, Niall. 755 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,520 coming back to me. Niall... Niall... Oh, yeah, Niall. 756 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,520 He WAS here... Alright. 757 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:22,000 ..but he just wanted a man facial and...Hm. 758 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,000 And I don't know anything about any stolen items so...Mm. 759 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,320 And I don't know anything about any stolen items so...Mm. 760 00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:27,720 What's in that back room? 761 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,200 My stock and my tanning room. 762 00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:32,000 We're a tanning salon. And nail bar. 763 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,560 We're a tanning salon. And nail bar. 764 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:36,120 And nail bar. Correct. Listen to me. 765 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,560 I don't want you thinking we're thinking you're untrustworthy. 766 00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:40,000 I feel like I really need to check in the back room. 767 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,760 I feel like I really need to check in the back room. 768 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,520 No one goes in my back room. 769 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:47,200 Unless I invite them in my back room. 770 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:48,000 Oh...Alright. Well just invite us in, then. 771 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,200 Oh...Alright. Well just invite us in, then. 772 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,600 I won't. There's nothing back there, I've nothing to feel guilty about. 773 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,000 So, you won't mind if we have a little peek then? How about no peek? 774 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:56,760 So, you won't mind if we have a little peek then? How about no peek? 775 00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:58,520 I'm sorry I'm just gonna step in here. 776 00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,440 Mardie, love, can you see how your resistance 777 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,000 is making us a little bit more suspicious, about yer? 778 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:04,320 is making us a little bit more suspicious, about yer? 779 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:06,160 Yous waltz in here, 780 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,000 I don't know yous from Adam, 781 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:09,760 and you demand to see in my back room. 782 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,000 Who the fuck do you think yous are?Mr Fisher, look, 783 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:12,280 Who the fuck do you think yous are?Mr Fisher, look, 784 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,600 we're Niall's brothers, that's Niall's sister there. 785 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,400 These are our mates. Tell us what he was doing here, and that's it. 786 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:20,000 I'm not to telling yer. Yer deaf? We have a fucking situation here, 787 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:20,600 I'm not to telling yer. Yer deaf? We have a fucking situation here, 788 00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:23,400 alright? Now, I'm not leaving this fucking tanning salon- 789 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:26,000 And nail bar. And the fucking nail bar, Cardi. 790 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:28,000 We can't leave here until we check in that back room, 791 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,320 We can't leave here until we check in that back room, 792 00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:35,360 and make sure Niall and/or the stolen fucking item in't in it. 793 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:36,000 I can see the predicament we're in. 794 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:37,280 I can see the predicament we're in. 795 00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,920 Mm. Here's what I can do for yer, right? 796 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,800 None of yous are coming in my back room, 797 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,000 but he did leave a package. 798 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:44,360 but he did leave a package. 799 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,480 I dunno what's in the package, 800 00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:49,760 but I can step back there, alone, 801 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:51,840 and bring it out to yous. How's that? 802 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:52,000 Or who's to say he's not just gonna fuck off out the back? 803 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,280 Or who's to say he's not just gonna fuck off out the back? 804 00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:58,280 Out the back of my own tanning salon? Leave yous eejits here alone? 805 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,000 Do I look insane? Mm. 806 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:00,760 Do I look insane? Mm. 807 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,120 Do you want the package, or do you not want the package? 808 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:06,000 Fucking go and get that fucking package right now, and quick. 809 00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,840 I can't believe it. 810 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,160 He's a full head of long hair. 811 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,000 It's a fucking wig dude. Come on, man. 812 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,320 It's a fucking wig dude. Come on, man. 813 00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:27,080 W-Wig? How's it stay on? 814 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,880 It's stuck to his head, love. 815 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,400 W-What...? W-What...? Well, what if he hangs upside down? 816 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:32,000 Oh, my God. Who hangs upside down? 817 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,240 Oh, my God. Who hangs upside down? 818 00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:35,800 Me, it's good for the brain. I hate to say this, Mick, 819 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,320 I really do. You're not the best advert for inversion, are ya? 820 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:40,000 What with you being, sorry, but... thick as two short planks. 821 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:40,760 What with you being, sorry, but... thick as two short planks. 822 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:44,720 Tommo, you shut the fuck up. You're as thick as fucking one short plank. 823 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,040 I rest my case. 824 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,400 You wanna see what's in my back room? 825 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,880 Here's what's in my fucking back room. 826 00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,000 You lousy fucking poxy bastards. 827 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,160 You lousy fucking poxy bastards. 828 00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,360 Come on you fuckers, yeah! 829 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,280 Get yourselves a lovely spray tan. 830 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,080 Welcome to Glow Job. 831 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:04,000 Oh, I've missed a bit, did I? 832 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:04,960 Oh, I've missed a bit, did I? 833 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,760 Here. Here. 834 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,040 Get some fucking tan lines around that. 835 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:12,000 Fuck me. Grab his fucking arms. You're wanting some of that, do yer? 836 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:12,840 Fuck me. Grab his fucking arms. You're wanting some of that, do yer? 837 00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,000 Sabotage # 838 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:18,200 Hold still for crying out loud, will yer? 839 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:28,000 You better start talking. 840 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,280 You better start talking. 841 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:32,520 I'm not telling you shit about shit. 842 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:35,960 You will tell us shit about shit. I'll take your fucking eyebrow off. 843 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,760 Now, did Niall come here or not? 844 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,760 You know what you can do? Go and fuck your mother. 845 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,800 Oh, rude. Oh...Fucking piece of work 846 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:44,000 Did he try and sell you a trophy? Fuck your Uncle Eldon. 847 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,400 Did he try and sell you a trophy? Fuck your Uncle Eldon. 848 00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,920 I tell you what. Thomas, pull his fucking eyebrow off. 849 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,080 No. No. Argh! 850 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:52,000 Gone. Argh! 851 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:52,440 Gone. Argh! 852 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,400 Gone. You look like a fucking idiot. 853 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:58,080 On one side, you're a 50% twat right now. 854 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,000 I'll do the other one. When I run out of hairs, 855 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:03,080 I'm gonna go down there. I do my own genitals. 856 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:05,680 I'm like a fucking dolphin down there. 857 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,880 Man after my own heart. Fucking weird dude. 858 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:08,000 Alright, Mick, go and smash up 859 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,400 Alright, Mick, go and smash up 860 00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:11,920 all his shit in the back room. We're fucking up your back room, 861 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:13,720 pouring away the shampoos. No!Smash it up. 862 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,240 Pour it all out. I'll talk. 863 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:16,000 No, not the shampoos. No! 864 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,240 No, not the shampoos. No! 865 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,280 I'll talk. I'll talk. 866 00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,520 Look in my phone. 867 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:23,480 Where is it? It's in my flaps. 868 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:27,880 Passcode: 0072. Roger Moore. 869 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:29,600 No, no, no. He was 0073. 870 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,000 George Lazenby, he was 0072. I mean everybody knows that, like. 871 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:32,600 George Lazenby, he was 0072. I mean everybody knows that, like. 872 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,560 Yeah. He was shite. Wasn't even a proper Bond. 873 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,040 Hm. Last calls. 874 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,280 Don Randy? 875 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:40,000 Who the fuck's Don Randy? 876 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,080 Who the fuck's Don Randy? 877 00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:44,000 Sounds like sort of, er, mid-level '70s porn star, doesn't it? 878 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,640 Hey. Hey. Who's Don Randy? 879 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:48,000 He's a scary fucker, and you do not wanna mess with him. 880 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,400 He's a scary fucker, and you do not wanna mess with him. 881 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,320 That's who he was meeting here, 882 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:56,000 and that's all I know. That's all I can tell yer. Now, fuck off. 883 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:56,040 and that's all I know. That's all I can tell yer. Now, fuck off. 884 00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:00,640 Listen, what is that there? Is that a bloody five or a three? 885 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:02,480 It's a three.Well, it looks- No, five. 886 00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:04,000 - Is it?I don't... Fucking try three. - What you gonna say? 887 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,400 - Is it?I don't... Fucking try three. - What you gonna say? 888 00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:07,680 I'm gonna style it out, like a boss. 889 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:09,520 I'll lay the bait, he's gonna take nibble. 890 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:11,880 You gonna invite him to be in Be My Bitch Volume Seven? 891 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:12,000 - Just shut up, ya gob shite. - "Hello."Oh, shit. 892 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,160 - Just shut up, ya gob shite. - "Hello."Oh, shit. 893 00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,080 I'm looking to speak to a Donald Randy? 894 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:19,840 "Don Randy? Do I sound like Don Randy, 895 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:20,000 "you filthy fucking bastard." Oh, I'm sorry love. 896 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,560 "you filthy fucking bastard." Oh, I'm sorry love. 897 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,640 Oh, she's gone. It must have been a five. 898 00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:27,120 Do you think You fucking lemon. Alright. What? 899 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:28,000 Well, I got all geed up for it, didn't I?Give it here. 900 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,360 Well, I got all geed up for it, didn't I?Give it here. 901 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,160 You need to be more zen. You get way too wound about things. 902 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:33,880 You need to be better at fives. 903 00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,000 My girlfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo, 904 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:36,040 My girlfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo, 905 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,240 so I put my foot down. Michael... 906 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:40,600 Honestly. 907 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,040 Weird timing.You'll change your tune when I'm famous. 908 00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:44,000 "Hello." Oh, it's the same lady, man. 909 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:45,160 "Hello." Oh, it's the same lady, man. 910 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,200 "You, you filthy bastard. Paul! 911 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:49,360 "This pervert keeps ringing me." Don't tell Paul. 912 00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:52,000 Don't tell Paul, it's an honest mistake, love. 913 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:52,280 Don't tell Paul, it's an honest mistake, love. 914 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,400 My mate's bad at fives. Listen... 915 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:57,240 someone, put the right fucking number in this right fucking now. 916 00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,800 Here, I'll try. No, you fucking won't.Give it here. 917 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:00,000 Give it to me.Here you are.Go on. Fucking thicks, the lot of you. 918 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,400 Give it to me.Here you are.Go on. Fucking thicks, the lot of you. 919 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,920 Yeah? Here you go. 920 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:08,000 Yes, Carol.Right, go on. Fuck, is it gonna be her again? 921 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:08,280 Yes, Carol.Right, go on. Fuck, is it gonna be her again? 922 00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:10,280 - No. No, listen.Shit. - "Hello." 923 00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,600 Now then... is that Don Randy? 924 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,640 "Who's asking?" I fucking am. 925 00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:16,000 And you are? "Vincent O'Neill." 926 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,480 And you are? "Vincent O'Neill." 927 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:20,360 I have been given this number, 928 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,640 apparently it's the number of a very important entrepreneur 929 00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:24,000 called Donald Randy. "This is his phone." 930 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,680 called Donald Randy. "This is his phone." 931 00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:30,120 Fuck, doesn't answer his own phone, that's classy that. Very classy.. 932 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:32,000 What's the proposal? I am a marijuana, 933 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:33,800 What's the proposal? I am a marijuana, 934 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:36,280 er, botanist. Ooh. 935 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:40,000 And I would like to dis...discuss distribution. 936 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:40,840 And I would like to dis...discuss distribution. 937 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:42,880 I'll ask. 938 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,560 He's just gone?He's just fucked off. Oh.... 939 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:48,000 - Mr Randy. - "Who the fuck are you, 940 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,400 - Mr Randy. - "Who the fuck are you, 941 00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:53,000 you perv, ringing my bird asking for John Randy? 942 00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,960 Fucking Paul.It's Paul, in't it? It's bloody Paul. Paul, listen, 943 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,920 it were a genuine mistake. My mate's really bad at fives. 944 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,440 It's one fucking number. We're looking for Donald Randy, 945 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:03,600 not fucking John Randy you turnip. 946 00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:04,000 "Ring again..."Abort."..I'll come over there and cut your cheek out!" 947 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,680 "Ring again..."Abort."..I'll come over there and cut your cheek out!" 948 00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:09,120 Do you know what, man, it's a very strange threat. 949 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:10,760 You don't even know where the fuck I am. 950 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,000 I'm on a mobile phone. Where you gonna come to? 951 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,200 I'm on a mobile phone. Where you gonna come to? 952 00:35:13,240 --> 00:35:14,640 "To where you are." 953 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,840 Fuck me hang on."I'll fucking kill you!"What's going on there, then? 954 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:19,840 Paul, hang on a minute, love. Is it call waiting? 955 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:20,000 What do you press now? Hey up, Paul. Listen to me, love. 956 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,160 What do you press now? Hey up, Paul. Listen to me, love. 957 00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,720 your bird's having an affair, in't she? She's cheating on ya. 958 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,320 "Fuck you!"See what's before your eyes. Know what I mean? Chow. 959 00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:28,000 - Hello? - "Vincent O'Neill?" 960 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:29,440 - Hello? - "Vincent O'Neill?" 961 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:32,360 Er, this is his associate, one Mr Shaftner. 962 00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:35,680 That's cool as fuck.He'll meet you at midday tomorrow at Duffy's bar. 963 00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:36,000 Bring samples. And sit by the window. 964 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:37,440 Bring samples. And sit by the window. 965 00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,920 We will do exactly that, thank you. 966 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,800 Voila, we have a meeting. Well in. 967 00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:44,000 One spliff I've got left. I were fucking saving it for t'ferry. 968 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,880 One spliff I've got left. I were fucking saving it for t'ferry. 969 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:52,000 I want you on your fucking best behaviour. None of your nonsense. 970 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:52,200 I want you on your fucking best behaviour. None of your nonsense. 971 00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:54,200 Obviously not. It's big deal, get in there. 972 00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:55,320 Get the fuck in the pub. 973 00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:57,800 Ah ba-ba-ba, you're not going nowhere, you piss head. 974 00:35:57,840 --> 00:35:59,680 You're not drinking- I want a drink.Listen, 975 00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:00,000 it's a very serious situation we're all in. I want you out here, 976 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,280 it's a very serious situation we're all in. I want you out here, 977 00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:04,800 chilling out, we can't go in mobhanded. Fucking give over. 978 00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:06,960 We can't go in mobhanded. Go on, fuck off. 979 00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,480 Shite, Vin... 980 00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:23,000 ..there's no window seats left. No, it's alright, we'll just... 981 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:25,800 We'll just loiter here for a bit. 982 00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,320 He specifically said to find a fucking window seat, didn't he? 983 00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:31,800 There's no window seats. 984 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:32,000 Unless we ask one of these starey bastards to move. 985 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,120 Unless we ask one of these starey bastards to move. 986 00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:36,920 Why does he want us sat near a fucking window seat, anyway? 987 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:40,000 The demand of a gangster. They need to see people coming in and out. 988 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:40,200 The demand of a gangster. They need to see people coming in and out. 989 00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:42,800 I don't like this, Vin. We need to get out of here.Don't be a... 990 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:44,880 No, no, hang on. Stop being a fucking tart, dude. 991 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:47,440 What if he's correct? What if Niall's got in over his head? 992 00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:48,000 What if this a fucking trap? 993 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:48,720 What if this a fucking trap? 994 00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:50,880 What if this fucking Don Randy is, 995 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:54,000 in fact, the Irish Don Corleone? It's not gonna be Don Corleone, 996 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,000 it's gonna be Donald. Donald Corleone? 997 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:56,040 it's gonna be Donald. Donald Corleone? 998 00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,960 Not D... Right, give over now, pair of ya. 999 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:02,120 Look hard.Woah, woah, woah. What? Oh, fuck me. 1000 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:04,000 Oh, he looks hard.He's a big lad. Oh, he looks like a killer. 1001 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:05,040 Oh, he looks hard.He's a big lad. Oh, he looks like a killer. 1002 00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:10,920 Vincent O'Neill! 1003 00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:12,000 Er, D-Don Randy? Vincent O'Neill? 1004 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:12,880 Er, D-Don Randy? Vincent O'Neill? 1005 00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:15,320 Oh, Don Randy? Pleased to meet you, so I am. 1006 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,680 Alright, then. Oh, get in there. 1007 00:37:18,720 --> 00:37:20,000 Always good to get a new business associate from the UK. 1008 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,160 Always good to get a new business associate from the UK. 1009 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,840 OK.I see all the window seats are taken, maybe we'll get a booth. 1010 00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:27,240 Ciaran here'll get us a few pints. You can drink your hole off. Come. 1011 00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:28,000 What was any of that? 1012 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:28,960 What was any of that? 1013 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,720 He wants to get a pint to drink our holes off.Gross dude. 1014 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:35,000 Now then, get your laughing gear round that. 1015 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:36,000 Now honestly, that is the finest plant 1016 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:36,960 Now honestly, that is the finest plant 1017 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,120 you will ever fucking smoke in your life. 1018 00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:42,200 What I'm saying is, if you wanna get in the weed business, 1019 00:37:42,240 --> 00:37:44,000 we're good men to get in business with. 1020 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:44,360 we're good men to get in business with. 1021 00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:50,680 Ciaran. Go easy, Ciaran, for fuck's sake. 1022 00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:52,000 It's bloody strong. I-I don't touch it myself. 1023 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,200 It's bloody strong. I-I don't touch it myself. 1024 00:37:53,240 --> 00:37:55,480 I like a brandy, like to slip my shoes off at the end 1025 00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:58,840 and I watch a police procedural and sip away at a fine, fine brandy. 1026 00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:00,000 Summat about brandy? He likes a tipple in the evening 1027 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,080 Summat about brandy? He likes a tipple in the evening 1028 00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:04,360 and watches a cop show on telly. Right, yes, yes, now listen, er.. 1029 00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,840 Now that your, er, beautiful assistant has parted ways with us, 1030 00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:08,000 perhaps we might pick your brains about a person of interest to us, 1031 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:11,200 perhaps we might pick your brains about a person of interest to us, 1032 00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:13,440 who you might've run into earlier today. 1033 00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:16,000 And who's that then? Niall Dennings. 1034 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:16,360 And who's that then? Niall Dennings. 1035 00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:21,000 Why do you wanna know? 1036 00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:24,000 He's got something belonging to an associate of ours. We want it back. 1037 00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:26,240 I see. 1038 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:32,000 Yeah, that Niall is fucking idiot, less brains than a slug, 1039 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:32,240 Yeah, that Niall is fucking idiot, less brains than a slug, 1040 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:34,080 and he owed me money, big, big money. 1041 00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:35,920 Gambling debt. He ran off back to England. 1042 00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:38,960 So, I told Mardie Fisher to tell him, if ever he come back, 1043 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,000 he's gonna lose both his testicles. Testicles. 1044 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,560 he's gonna lose both his testicles. Testicles. 1045 00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:43,880 Mardie called me today and said the gobshite is back, 1046 00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,520 but he had my money. I arranged to meet the fucker at Mardie's. 1047 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:48,000 None of it. Niall owed Don Randy money, 1048 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:49,080 None of it. Niall owed Don Randy money, 1049 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,720 so Mardie Fisher linked 'em back up again.Right. 1050 00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,320 What's he stolen from yer? The fuck... 1051 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,000 The FA cup. The what? 1052 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:56,520 The FA cup. The what? 1053 00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:00,800 The fuck... The fucking original FA cup, the cunt's got it. 1054 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,400 Have you seen him with it? Trophy? No, didn't see that. 1055 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:04,000 He paid me what he owed me and went. Fuck me.How much did he owe you? 1056 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,160 He paid me what he owed me and went. Fuck me.How much did he owe you? 1057 00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:08,200 Seven grand. Seven... Seven grand, I got that. 1058 00:39:08,240 --> 00:39:09,960 I got seven grand. Where'd he get that? 1059 00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,000 He said he got lucky, at Micky Flanagan's sports bar. 1060 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:12,240 He said he got lucky, at Micky Flanagan's sports bar. 1061 00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,960 You know what I think, he's full of shit. Still... 1062 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,040 I got my money, so you know, he keeps his testicles. 1063 00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:20,000 Testicles again.We need to get to Mickey Flanagan's sports bar. 1064 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:20,080 Testicles again.We need to get to Mickey Flanagan's sports bar. 1065 00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:22,880 Alright.Alright, gentlemen. I got bits.Mm.You're a good lad. 1066 00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:26,960 Express Yourself # 1067 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:35,240 # Express yourself 1068 00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:39,440 # Express yourself... # 1069 00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:42,280 Keep your eyes out. It's gotta... Fuck me. It's gotta be in here, man. 1070 00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:44,000 It's gotta be, gotta be, got.. Oh, my God, 1071 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:44,760 It's gotta be, gotta be, got.. Oh, my God, 1072 00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:48,040 It's right in front of us. Dude. Michael, you fucking pleb. 1073 00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:50,000 Not having a beer. 1074 00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:52,000 - Do you know what I mean? - Hello. 1075 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,080 - Do you know what I mean? - Hello. 1076 00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:54,400 It's that badger. 1077 00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,480 Fucking it. Uh-huh. 1078 00:39:56,520 --> 00:40:00,000 "This is a life-size replica of the original FA Cup from 1895. 1079 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,080 "This is a life-size replica of the original FA Cup from 1895. 1080 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,760 "The original was stolen and was never seen again." 1081 00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:05,880 Fucking replica? Motherfuckers. 1082 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:07,440 Excuse me, love. 1083 00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:08,000 How long's that been in here? 1084 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,280 How long's that been in here? 1085 00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:11,520 No idea, they're always changing stuff round. 1086 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,800 Well, was it here last week, this, duck?Don't think so. 1087 00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,000 No? Well, that's fucking it! Innit? I'll tell you what's happened here, 1088 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,720 No? Well, that's fucking it! Innit? I'll tell you what's happened here, 1089 00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,440 he's fucking sold it, is what he's done. 1090 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:22,240 He's sold it to these fuckers. 1091 00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,000 Now they're pretending it's a shagging replica. 1092 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:24,280 Now they're pretending it's a shagging replica. 1093 00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:26,520 You know what I mean? It's fucking real thing, innit? 1094 00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:32,000 Alright, come here. Oi, come here to me. 1095 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:32,240 Alright, come here. Oi, come here to me. 1096 00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:34,880 We're gonna have to nick it back. How?What do you mean "how"? 1097 00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:36,920 Method. Listen to me. 1098 00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:40,000 Hundred year ago, this fucking thing here was robbed seamlessly. 1099 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:40,880 Hundred year ago, this fucking thing here was robbed seamlessly. 1100 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:43,440 We're gonna do the very same thing. We're gonna come in, 1101 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:46,640 under the cover of darkness. We're gonna come through the fucking roof. 1102 00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:48,000 Like Maurice's granddad. Can I get a onetime? Come on.Yeah. 1103 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,280 Like Maurice's granddad. Can I get a onetime? Come on.Yeah. 1104 00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:52,520 Que Sera, Sera # 1105 00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:55,800 # Hey 1106 00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:56,000 # Get it set up # Set up 1107 00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:57,320 # Get it set up # Set up 1108 00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:58,960 # 1109 00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:12,000 # When I was just 1110 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:13,000 # When I was just 1111 00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:16,000 # A little boy 1112 00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:17,600 # I asked my mother 1113 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,120 # "What will I be? 1114 00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:20,000 # "Will I be handsome? 1115 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,480 # "Will I be handsome? 1116 00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:23,320 # "Will I be rich?" 1117 00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,840 # This is what she said to me 1118 00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,000 # "Que-e-e-e sera, sera, sera" # Sera, sera 1119 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:32,280 # "Que-e-e-e sera, sera, sera" # Sera, sera 1120 00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:34,200 # "Whatever will be" 1121 00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:36,000 # Sera, sera # "Will be, will be 1122 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:36,160 # Sera, sera # "Will be, will be 1123 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:39,640 # "The future's not ours to see" # Sera, sera 1124 00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:43,480 # "Que sera, sera" # Que sera, sera 1125 00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:44,000 # "What will be, will be" # Que sera, sera 1126 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:48,120 # "What will be, will be" # Que sera, sera 1127 00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,040 # When I was just 1128 00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:52,000 # A child in school 1129 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:52,680 # A child in school 1130 00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:54,120 # I asked my teacher 1131 00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:55,280 # "What should I try?"... 1132 00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:59,800 # "Should I sing songs?" 1133 00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:00,000 # This was her wise reply 1134 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,000 # This was her wise reply 1135 00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:08,000 # "Que-e-e-e sera, sera, sera" # Sera, sera 1136 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:08,640 # "Que-e-e-e sera, sera, sera" # Sera, sera 1137 00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:10,520 # "Whatever will be" 1138 00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:12,480 # Sera, sera # "Will be, will be 1139 00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:15,960 # "The future's not ours to see" # Sera, sera 1140 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:19,680 # "Que sera, sera" # Que sera, sera... 1141 00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:24,000 # Mamma, will I be a singer? # Que sera, sera 1142 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:27,040 # Mamma, will I be a singer? # Que sera, sera 1143 00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:30,640 # Hey, hey, hey, hey # Hey, hey, hey, hey... 1144 00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:39,000 # Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey # Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... # 1145 00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,720 Black River Swamp # 1146 00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:56,000 # There's a place... 1147 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:56,440 # There's a place... 1148 00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:02,640 # Where the pine trees... 1149 00:43:04,240 --> 00:43:06,160 # Grow so tall... 1150 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:09,000 No, let me have it a bit more, will yer?Calm yourself, jeez. 1151 00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,840 Bloody hell. Will you let me have it a bit more?!No! 1152 00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:12,000 Will you let me have it? We're trying to take a photo. 1153 00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:14,240 Will you let me have it? We're trying to take a photo. 1154 00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,080 Careful. Stop.Mick. 1155 00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:18,640 Let me have it.Oi, eh... Let me have it!Stop, you'll drop... 1156 00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:20,000 Ah, Mick! Awww! 1157 00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,480 Ah, Mick! Awww! 1158 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:24,520 Fucking unreal.No, fuck! 1159 00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:25,600 Dude... What's going on? 1160 00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:28,000 Are you fucking serious, man? Ya fucking...It was Ashley. 1161 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:29,880 Horrible wankers is what you are. What? 1162 00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:33,200 Fucking trophy's gone in the fucking sea.No! 1163 00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:35,840 Oh, Tommo. It was Mick! 1164 00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:36,000 Fucking hell!Fucking idiots. Mind the pints. Three for a tenner. 1165 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,960 Fucking hell!Fucking idiots. Mind the pints. Three for a tenner. 1166 00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:42,320 Maurice is NOT gonna be happy about this. 1167 00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:44,000 Why did the captain leave the ship? 1168 00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:44,560 Why did the captain leave the ship? 1169 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:47,280 Are you fucking joking? Here's a fucking joke! 1170 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:51,160 It was fucking Ashley. 1171 00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:58,800 # Down there 1172 00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:00,000 # By the fishing hole 1173 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:01,760 # By the fishing hole 1174 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:06,160 # And the smell of old Black River... 1175 00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,000 I've already got one. Oh, no, no, no. 1176 00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:08,640 I've already got one. Oh, no, no, no. 1177 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,720 This isn't the replica, this is the original. 1178 00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:15,160 Original my arse. How's a twat like you got the original? 1179 00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:16,000 I swear to you on my Uncle Teagan's life. 1180 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,320 I swear to you on my Uncle Teagan's life. 1181 00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:20,080 This is from 1895. 1182 00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,000 That's the real McCoy. 1183 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:25,080 That's the real McCoy. 1184 00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:28,040 How much you looking for? 1185 00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:31,120 For you... seven grand. 1186 00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:32,000 You can get rid of that replica there 1187 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:32,640 You can get rid of that replica there 1188 00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:35,080 and have the real thing on display. You must be joking. 1189 00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:36,720 This is going in my house. 1190 00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:38,240 I don't know how you've got it, 1191 00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,000 but this is sporting fucking history, 1192 00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,000 but this is sporting fucking history, 1193 00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:43,920 The replica stays where it is. Mm-hm. 1194 00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,960 Right, wait there... 1195 00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:48,000 ..I'll get your cash. Good man yourself. 1196 00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:49,560 ..I'll get your cash. Good man yourself. 1197 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:56,000 # I can hear them hound dogs howlin' 1198 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:59,480 # I can hear them hound dogs howlin' 1199 00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:03,880 # Chasing that old fox where I used to roam... # 1200 00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:04,000 Where's Vincent? 1201 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,160 Where's Vincent? 1202 00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,600 You motherfuckers underestimated me. 1203 00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:10,320 Well now, you're gonna pay. 1204 00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:12,000 - Just come and f.. Ugh. - Vin? Fuck! 1205 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,200 - Just come and f.. Ugh. - Vin? Fuck! 1206 00:45:13,240 --> 00:45:15,240 Ah! Put it down, what is ...? 1207 00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:16,840 Who else knows about this? 1208 00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:18,800 Unhand me! Oh! Oh! 1209 00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:20,000 This isn't normal, Vin. 1210 00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:20,560 This isn't normal, Vin. 1211 00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:22,560 Christ, I know it's not fucking normal. 1212 00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:36,000 So Much Trouble In My Mind # 1213 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:37,320 So Much Trouble In My Mind # 1214 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:40,280 # I got so much trouble in my mind 1215 00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:44,000 # I got so much trouble in my mind 1216 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:45,320 # I got so much trouble in my mind 1217 00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:48,480 # I got so much trouble in my mind 1218 00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:52,000 # Give me the strength to carry on 1219 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:52,600 # Give me the strength to carry on 1220 00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:56,720 # Give me the strength to carry on 1221 00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:00,000 # Cos everything I got is just about gone 1222 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:01,960 # Cos everything I got is just about gone 1223 00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,400 # And I think about it... # 99331