Original subtitles

PREVIOUSLY

Rosa! Tell the class I'll be there in 10 minutes.

- Mom says to be active in class. - I don't care. This is about Kasper.

RITA Teacher

- But he doesn't get it! - Rosa ...

ROSA Rita's pupil

I'm Lars. Rosa's dad.

- Rosa, from your class. - Fuck.

LARS Rosa's dad

- Did we have a meeting? - Let's make plans.

How do you mean?

RASMUS Headmaster

- Could I stay here for a while? - Of course.

MOLLY Rita's daughter

What if I opened a store? I've been offered a store location.

RICCO - Rita's eldest son Let's check it out.

You'll look at other places as well, right?

BITTEN - Ricco's girlfriend It's the sensible thing to do.

You must have been quite young when you had Ricco.

It wasn't long after you and I broke up. God, you may be siblings!

TOM Bitten's dad

I'm gay.

You're Jeppe? I'm David.

- I'll take the kids out to dinner. - You came while Jeppe's in school!

NIELS - Jeppe's dad Maybe he wants to see his dad.

It's my job to protect him.

JEPPE Rita's youngest son

Oh, yeah!

You're amazing ... in bed.

You're amazing in bed.

Or on the floor ... Did you read the latest material from Sex and Society?

It's interactive.

Talking Sex Ed at this moment is wrong on so many levels.

Sorry. Helle said there was an issue with who should teach Sex Ed.

Shall we put on a show?

More youngsters are getting STDs. Syphilis is on the rise.

I never had a less horny conversation than this.

I always look forward to being with you.

But I always come out of it feeling sad.

- A lot of women think I'm a catch. - I never said otherwise.

I'm no good at couples' stuff. You know that. Clear rules, right?

And as a class teacher Sex Ed is your responsibility.

Clear rules.

THE SHE-WOLF

- I'm bored. - He'll be here soon.

Can't I leave? Why do I have to wait with you?

If he sees me sitting alone, it'll look like I've been waiting for him.

Well, you have.

- Are you even sure he's in there? - He's coming.

- He's not alone. - I can see that, thank you.

- Hi. - Hi.

We waited an hour for that?

- He's cute. - Yes.

I see you found the material?

Do you know why teachers hate Sex Ed?

- 'Cause the pupils get embarrassed? - No, that was in the old days.

Now it's because they ask about things teachers have never heard of.

They've been watching online porn since 5th grade.

And not the soft, German kind.

This material ... It's like teaching a pro soccer player how to dribble.

- I doubt they're that hard core. - I'm afraid they are.

All the more reason to teach them what sex is really about.

What is sex about?

Closeness. Intimacy. Love.

Well, I'll find some new material.

Okay.

- I just put them there. - Isn't it better on the tables?

- I think they should be up here. - This'll make people sit down.

And if they sit down, you increase your chance of selling beverages.

- There. - But ...

It's gonna be a great place, honey.

- Why are you watching gay porn? - Jeppe's computer was lying around.

I'm looking for material for Sex Ed.

This is what appears when you search for 'sex' on his PC.

That's gotta hurt.

They're professional porn stars. They probably warmed up.

No more porn for you!

I've never really known what goes on inside his mind.

It seems it's something about being abused by three mechanics.

It's porn. Ricco watched it, too.

That's different. I always knew where I had Ricco.

Jeppe won't even talk to me about it.

Maybe he doesn't need to talk.

Well, I do.

Why are you so worried about what he does?

Jeppe. Jeppe.

- What's going on? - Are you active or passive?

Are you the one who gets it, or the one who fucks?

- Mom, what time is it? - I'd like to know what you are.

What ... yuck, Mom!

- Good night. - I'm staying till you talk to me.

- I'm grown-up, and I'm fine. - Jeppe, you're 15 ...

Crap.

Mom, Jesus ...

- Hi, Rita. - Hi, there.

- Hey. - Hi.

I ran into Hjørdis. She wants to teach Sex Ed.

She wants as much teaching experience as possible.

- Can she handle it? - Hjørdis? Yes, of course.

- Okay. Hjørdis will be fine. - I think so, too.

Rasmus wants you to teach Sex Ed in 9th grade.

So that you can develop your pedagogic skills.

- It's a challenge. - This may come as a shock to you.

- I'm not that experienced with sex. - You'll be fine.

There's a box from Sex and Society.

With materials and, you know ... props.

Props?

- Hi. - Hi.

- What are you doing? - Nothing.

It was fun when she took out that plastic thing.

- I thought it was childish. - Yeah, it was.

Isn't it ridiculous that we don't get proper Sex Ed?

We could get AIDS and stuff. Do you think that's funny?

I didn't mean it like that.

When you start having sex, maybe you'll mature a little.

See you, Rosa.

See you.

Rita.

- Hi. - Hi. Rosa already went home.

- I know. - Okay.

I'd like to see you again.

You come to your child's school to tell her teacher you want to have sex?

- It doesn't strike you as odd? - It was really good sex.

Yes. It was.

- Here ... My number. - Hi.

- The meeting's about to start. - Hi.

- Rosa's dad? - Yes.

My card. I've promised Rita to help her with a built-in closet.

Yes.

See you then. Bye.

Poor man. With a wife like that ...

- And the daughter. - Yes.

Phew.

What's for dinner?

- Nothing. - We have to have something.

Wait until Ricco's reception. Or make something yourself.

That's not my job.

- What are you doing? - What?

I made that ashtray.

There's no need to keep things you made now that you're all grown up.

- How are you guys doing? - Pretty good, actually.

- You sound surprised. - No, just happy.

Good. As long as you're sure.

- I am. - Cause you have to be.

- I am. - Cause it's important. To be sure.

- If you want children ... - Mom?

- I'm sure. - Okay.

- Does Ricco want children? - As many as possible.

And what about you?

I'll start out with one and see how it goes.

- Did you ever want more children? - Nope.

We always agreed on just one.

You should write 'Lonely Planet' and let them know you're open.

If you're featured there, tons of tourists will come.

- To Husum? - Yes.

- If you don't write, no one will come. - I think I'll start with the locals.

- They're not exactly pouring in. - They'll come.

- More wine? - Yes, please.

- Do you have more? - Yes, by the sink. Bring two.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Thank you. - Having a good time?

- I am now. - You haven't changed.

- It's who I am. - True enough.

- And you're still the diplomat. - It's who I am.

- When did you meet Jette? - A year after we broke up.

- "We"? - You. Year 1 after Rita.

One of us had to. You'd never do it. What if someone got upset with you?

A good thing I had you to take care of it.

- Doesn't she trust you? - I think it's you, she doesn't trust.

- Do you love her? - Do I love my wife? Of course.

I never loved my husband.

I'm sorry to hear it.

I mean it. I'm sorry to hear it.

- Oh, here you are. - Yes.

What a good idea to get to know each other a little better.

- So, what do you do? - I make jewelry.

I design jewelry. Rings, ear rings, necklaces and ...

- I'm currently in my wool phase. - You sure are.

She's quite successful. She was on 'Good morning, Denmark'.

- It's nothing. - It was great.

Don't contradict your wife. If she says it's nothing, I'm sure it's true.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- This is a great place. - I wish more people had come.

These things take time, don't they?

I feel like a drink. Let's go to a bar.

- I don't drink. - Then look at girls, and I'll drink.

Or look at guys. Come on. We'll find a gay bar.

I don't want to go to a bar.

- Cool place, huh? - Yes.

- What shall we drink ... - Coca-Cola for me.

- Two gin and tonics please? - Two gin and tonics.

- Who's your type, anyway? - Do we have to talk about that?

Come on. Show me someone you like.

- That guy over there. - The one in blue?

Yes.

I think contact is established.

- Shall I wave him over? - No, please don't ...

- Too late. Here he comes. - Hi.

This is Jeppe, and I'm Ricco.

- Tobias. - Hello.

What are you doing here? Just hanging out or ...

We came in for a drink, and then Jeppe spotted you.

Nice.

I have to use the restroom. Will you hold my seat?

- Sure. - Thanks.

Does he have a boyfriend?

"Are you busy?"

You're amazing.

Aren't you coming back in?

- No, I'll just sit here for a while. - Come on, come back in!

- They're only interested in you. - No way!

They're interested in this!

Ricco, get your hot body in here!

I'm coming! We can start working out together.

- Okay? - I'll come in soon.

Save a shot for me!

They're all so shallow with their pop music and gym crap.

If they spent half as long on reading the newspaper as in the gym ...

Yeah.

So I am having my own party out here.

Wanna join me?

- Okay. - Cheers. I'm Nikolaj.

Cheers. Jeppe.

- Morning. - Hung over?

Yes.

Do we have waffle mix? I need something sweet.

- I'll make you some. - Really?

You're the best.

- Just be okay by tonight. - What happens tonight?

- Nina and Claes are coming over. - Do I have to be here?

Yes. Ricco, you have to be here!

- They want to get to know you. - They don't care if I'm here or not.

Do you want waffles, or don't you?

- You wanted to see me? - Yes, thanks for coming. Coffee?

- No, thank you. - Water?

- No, thanks. What can I do for you? - Please have a seat.

So ...

- Okay, I'll go first. - Good idea.

I had a talk with your 9th-grade pupils who told me -

- that Hjørdis tried teaching them Sex Ed.

Apparently it didn't go very well.

It had confused them more than enlightened them.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I would like you to take over.

And I would like a magic fountain with goldfish of solid gold.

It's my responsibility to ensure that they get proper Sex Ed.

It's my responsibility to ensure that they don't fall behind.

Hjørdis said that Rasmus asked her to teach Sex Ed.

- Yes. - Odd for him to interfere.

Okay, well then he's the one I should talk to.

Okay, fine. I'll do it, if it's so damn important to you.

Thank you.

He's just not my type. I find his films presumptuous.

How many others can you name who make conceptual films?

It's not that I don't acknowledge his talent ...

But the art of suggestion isn't something he embraces.

Why should we be so damn polite: "I hope I didn't offend you ..."

There's a difference in how you ... He abuses his artistic devices.

- And it's pubertal. - Agreed.

Sorry, we're nerding it up. Let's talk about something we all like.

It's okay. I think about sex while you talk.

- Ricco! - We would like to talk to you, too.

- Did you make the food? - Some of it.

It's delicious. A fantastic salad.

- Are they from the fjord in Jutland? - Who?

- Oh, no they're from the supermarket. - Try the ones from the fjord.

- Denmark's finest soil. - We must try them.

- Do you know Meyer's organic apples? - They're scrumptious!

They taste of ...

Apples?

An apple isn't just an apple ... isn't just an apple.

Then what is it?

Have you been to the theatre recently?

Hi.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

ARE YOU HAVING SEX?

Today we'll talk about factual prose, so please find your articles.

As you can see clitoris is located externally on the body -

- and it has nothing to do with penetration or the size of a penis.

The size of the clitoris hood varies considerably.

From the size of a pinhead to ...

... the size of the tip of my finger.

Jeppe, pay attention please? You might need this one day.

- He's gay, you know. - Don't tease someone with that.

If it were true, it would be very hurtful towards Jeppe.

- But he is. - It's true. It's no secret.

How stupid do you think I am. You'd be bullied, if that was true.

No, it leaves more girls for the rest of us.

That's enough.

It's painful for anyone here who might actually be a homosexual.

So, where were we? The clitoris hood ...

No, you know what? Let's go straight to condoms.

- It looks great. - Oh, thanks.

Hi. How's it going?

It's ... pretty quiet. How about you.

I'm okay. What movie to you want to see?

I don't know. Any suggestions?

- Just no Hollywood crap for me. - I don't like it either.

I'm really happy you wanted to come.

Yes ... me, too.

Come ...

I read an article that said that more money is spent on Valentine's Day -

- than on AIDS research.

Really?

- Hey. - Hey.

- What's up? - Not much.

How's it going?

Jeppe, this is my friend, David. He's also a freshman.

And David this is Jeppe, the guy I told you about from the other night.

- Okay. But we know ... - Hi.

- Are you seeing a movie? - That's the plan.

- We'd better go in. - Sure. No problem.

See you. Bye.

I'm not watching that shit.

Is the bread home-made?

It's home-made by the baker ... who delivers it.

But it's freshly made.

... And it is made from grain cultivated on Grain Island -

- a small island with exquisite soil.

It makes all the difference. It is full of minerals -

- and you can really taste the high quality of the grain.

Okay ...

The lettuce is from the fjords. You know the area, right?

Yes, of course. Well, I'll have one, then.

Certainly.

- Where have you been? - At the movies.

With whom?

- Jeppe, tell me. - Or what?

You'll throw out more of my stuff?

Okay... Sex Ed.

- We already did it with Hjørdis. - We want pussy-pics!

René, you can watch porn at home. We're going to talk about sex -

- which can be difficult when you're among friends and classmates.

Let's talk about this fellow instead. His name is Dennis.

He's 15. An ordinary, average guy.

Do you think he's had sex?

Kasper, you're shaking your head. Why don't you think so?

The average age is over 16. Hjørdis told us.

Okay, but what if he is ... precocious?

- You mean an immigrant? - Then his name wouldn't be Dennis.

Precocious. It means grown-up. Mature.

Maybe if he's had a girlfriend for a long time ...

How long will you have been together before you have sex?

A couple of months.

What do the rest of you think?

A long time. You have to get to know each other first.

- Does that matter? - Yes.

What about the stuff he watches online. Doesn't he want to try it out?

- No. - So he ...

You don't think he goes out and experiments?

He's only 15.

Yeah ...

Yes, he is.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Is something wrong?

I wish I knew him better. I don't understand him.

- He's the total opposite of me. - But isn't that a good thing?

- You give your body frequently to men. - Yes ...

You're what one might call cheap. A slut, a whore, a cheap cu ...

Thank you, I get the picture. What's your point?

If Jeppe rebels by being the opposite of you -

- doesn't that automatically make him sensible?

- You're not half dumb. - Yes. I mean no. I'm not.

- What? - Do you have a minute?

I've been thinking.

I'm not gonna force you to talk to me.

You can always come to me, if you want to talk about anything.

Until that happens, I know you'll do the right thing.

I know you well enough to know that.

Shall we get pizzas?

Subtitles: Tina Goldberg Dansk Video Tekst