Original subtitles

PREVIOUSLY:

If you want to survive this job, don't be afraid of the tough-looking kids.

Evil doesn't look evil. Evil has a pageboy and does its homework.

RITA Teacher

- I'm pregnant. - What?

I'll push you into this mold with a stroller and a standard house.

Bitten, stop. Hey, hey. I don't mind being forced into that mold.

RICCO & BITTEN Rita's son and daughter-in-law

- Be nice to Bitten. - You let her push you around.

That's what people in love do. But you wouldn't know.

- People think I'm a good catch. - I'm no good at relationships.

RASMUS Principal

When did you meet Jette? You love her?

My wife? Sure.

TOM Bitten's dad

- Nikolaj, meat? - I'm a vegetarian.

- Oh, like Hitler? - Like millions of other animal lovers.

JEPPE & NIKOLAJ Rita's son and Jeppe's boyfriend

Grandma, are you here?

Grandma!

- Hi, sweetie. - Mom ...

- Anything wrong? - Grandma's dead.

- You smoke too much. - Yes.

You'll go up in smoke, if you're not careful. I can catch you.

Hello. 2B, sit down.

Quiet down.

Lower your voices.

Janne is away at a seminar, so I'll be your Danish sub.

- I'm Rita. - Hi, Rita.

Hi.

- Yes? Pink girl. - This week's subject is fairy tales.

So I'm told. You're writing and enacting your own fairy tales, right?

- You're making theater decorations? - Yes, all by ourselves.

- Wow! - And we borrowed costumes.

That sounds just great.

Would anyone like to tell me how far along you are?

Yes, green girl.

Me and Rebecca and me and Sille, we're princesses -

- and then we meet Katy Perry and Barbie and have a big party.

- And that's your fairy tale? - Yes. No, we meet Justin Bieber too.

Okay.

We have a knight's club, and no girls are allowed.

Look, let's take it from the top and find out what fairy tales are.

Tell me what happens in the fairy tales you know.

The princess lives happily ever after.

Yes, unlike most school teachers.

THE PRINCESS

Hi.

- Hey! You smoke? - I told the kids I have super powers.

- They think my hands shoot fire. - No.

I had a great time the other day.

- At the tree. - Oh, right.

It was great. I thought a lot about the stuff we talked about.

What did we talk about?

About seeing each other.

You know ... And do something else than just ...

So I was thinking ... How about dinner?

- I'll cook for you. - You cook?

Sure I do. So I'll cook dinner for you.

Friday?

I can't Friday. I'm going to a funeral.

- Anyone close? - Oh, I don't know ... My mom.

I'm sorry.

- Rita, why didn't you tell me? - Oh, you know.

- Was it unexpected? - I don't want to talk about it.

I have to monitor the kids.

- Hi, Rasmus. - Hi.

- Have you seen my lunch box? - Your lunch? No.

Have you noticed things keep disappearing?

No.

The gym mat. One of the computers from the auditorium.

Plates from home economics. My lunch box.

- See a pattern? - Things are disappearing.

Precisely, and I won't stand for it. I want my lunch back.

- I won't rest until I get it. - Sure.

Lunch box?

The options are a traditional plot, a common grave or a forest cemetery.

A forest cemetery sounds cozy.

Well, not cozy, but like a good place.

Think Mom forgot?

She probably did.

She's been acting strange ever since this happened. Or ... stranger.

- She hasn't even cried. - Let's choose some songs.

- Hymns. - "All Things Bright" or something.

- What's your hurry? - Let Mom handle the rest.

Hi. Sorry, I'm late.

So, we're going to go over ...

- Is there anyone you want to invite? - Aunt Gitte has a handle on all that.

Great. So that's it then?

What were Grandma's favorite flowers?

- I don't know, dear. - Lilies. She liked those.

Why aren't you sad?

It might be good for you at least to talk about it.

I don't need to talk about it.

You knew her for 42 years, I knew her for two months, and I'm crying.

Are you sad because she's gone, or because I'm not sad?

I don't know.

Would you like a cup of tea?

- With honey? - No thanks.

I just want to be alone.

Let's draw up some rules for fairy tales. Any suggestions?

- You, Spider-Man. - You need a hero.

- Like who? - Spider-Man!

Fairy tales are from before television.

- A prince. - A prince. Exactly.

It could be a knight or a princess too.

- Who else do we meet in a fairy tale? - Someone evil.

- Transformers! - A witch.

- A dragon. A hobbit. - Yes.

And you need a prize. Something the hero wants.

Take a look.

Okay, so we have a hero. And we have an adversary.

We have a helper.

And we have a prize.

And we have a giver of the prize. That could be the king.

The hero wants the prize. He can get the prize from the king.

And the adversary could be the king.

I have a better idea. Let's make up our own fairy tale.

Pretend you are on the stage.

-There once was a princess. - I'm a beautiful princess!

- She lived in a beautiful palace. - And I'm a king.

Okay, we've got a princess, we've got a king. What else do we need?

- We need a queen. - Okay, let's say you're the queen.

The princess grew up in the castle without a care in the world.

- Little did she know that ... - That what?

That the king ...

- What? - Maybe he wasn't such a nice king.

- Then what was he? - A very bad father.

The king had put a spell on the queen.

The princess didn't understand why her mother wouldn't listen to her.

She wanted to know what was wrong with the king.

Listen to this.

Yes.

Say you have ...

Hjørdis, come in and sit down.

Say you've caught someone doing something you think is illegal ...

- Yes? - But it's a friend.

- A friend? - Yes. Called ... Miranda.

- What did Miranda see? - A co-worker stealing stuff.

He keeps the stuff in a room as if he lives there. At the school.

- That sounds a bit odd. - Should she tell anyone?

- Is this co-worker a man? - Who says so?

- You did. - I don't always listen to my friend.

Hjørdis, tell ... Miranda that if she knows of any illegalities -

- she must report it. Even if it involves a co-worker.

- I'll be sure to pass that on. - Have you got something to tell me?

That was it. Thank you for your time.

Hjørdis ...

You're friends with Rita, aren't you?

I, too, have a friend, and he's had like an affair with her.

What's his name?

His name is ... Elvis.

- Go on. - And ...

Elvis wants more with Rita than just an affair.

He thinks she feels the same, but she's kind of complicated.

Do you know anything about her feelings and stuff?

Tell ... Elvis that I think the stuff Rita's going through at the moment -

- may make her ready to meet the right man.

Okay. I'll be sure to pass that on.

To Elvis.

- Hey. - Hi.

- Bitten called. - Hang it in the closet, please.

- Lillebeth's dead. - Who?

- Rita's mom. Lillebeth. - Oh ...

I said we'd attend the funeral.

- I guess we have to. When? - Friday.

- Oh no. Friday's the Culture Fair. - It's during the daytime.

Sure, but then there's the wake ...

I have tickets for Kim Høgh's light installation at Glyptoteket.

- It's a funeral. - I didn't even know her.

It's too cold out here.

Where were we?

Oh yes. The princess suspects something's amiss with the king.

So, one day while the king was taking a nap, the princess snuck in and saw -

- that he had a long, black ... hairy tail!

The princess rushed out to tell the queen that the king was an ogre.

What did the queen do?

The queen called the princess a liar.

She said she was making it all up.

And then the queen cast a spell on the princess.

Oh yes. So that anything the princess said from then on -

- anything that came out of her mouth turned into ...

Frogs.

Don't tell lies about the king! From now on, anything you say -

- will turn into frogs jumping out of your mouth.

- That's too gross. - Pretend I'm the princess then.

But, dearest Queen, the king is an ...

Ew!

Ew!

- What happened next? - Well ...

The ogre king got worse. The queen knew very well -

- that the princess was right. But instead of helping her, she ran away.

She ran away?

Yes. She moved out.

I don't like this.

The queen left her own daughter.

Isn't anyone going to help her?

- She couldn't be helped. - You said there always was a helper.

Yeah, I guess I did.

Please, won't somebody help me?

A host of knights and soldiers came to court the princess.

But the princess scared them off, for every time she opened her mouth ...

Thank you.

Sorry. It's all my mom's fault.

Ew!

The princess lost all hope. Who would ever love her?

- But then one day ... - Hello.

Are these your frogs?

What was the prince called?

He ... he was called Tom.

Prince Tom?

Did they live happily ever after?

- Bye. - Bye. See you tomorrow.

- Bye. - Bye, Alfred.

- What's going on? - Rasmus told me about your mother.

- I'm so sorry. - Thanks.

It's okay to cry, you know.

Nice of you to say so, but I think I'll pass. I'm okay.

You know how I've always been fascinated with Syrian history.

Yeah?

Syria was the first place to have professional mourners.

They believed that repressed grief would live on inside you -

- and turn into a demon called Bhalak who'd eat you up from the inside.

Crying is important. If you need a mourner, just say the word.

It would do you good to talk to someone.

I think you're right.

Lisbeth, I'm good. Go on home.

Hi.

Err, the front office was empty, so ...

Anything wrong?

Wow!

- What are you doing here? - I don't know.

Let's see what we've got.

These will have to do.

- I'm sorry about your mom. - Many people are.

I wish I were too.

It's pointless to feel bad about not being sad.

You're either sad or you aren't.

- Everyone expects me to be sad. - You never care what others think.

- Do you think I ought to be? - Sad?

- I don't know. - You knew her back then.

I remember her as being vain and childish, but ...

"It's a long time ago, Rita. Get over it."

If you know what I'm going to say, have this conversation on your own.

So, is Jette waiting with dinner back home?

Yes, But I'm going to call her and say I'm working late.

- Hey! - Two seconds.

- Don't you ever have classes? - No, it's all about the parties.

What's up?

Everything's just a bit strange.

Grandma is dead, and Mom doesn't seem to care.

What, we can't hold hands anymore?

Sure. It's just ...

You still let social norms rule your life.

- No, I'm just being careful. - Don't be careful.

Screw the norms. Just be yourself.

Sure.

I've got an idea.

We may provoke some people into yelling or spitting at us.

But I'll be right here.

Let's go over there.

Hang on.

I don't think they care.

You want me to be honest with myself?

I don't want to be with you anymore.

I'm in love with someone else.

I know you're stealing stuff and abusing school property.

It's wrong and illegal, and you must give everything back -

- or else I'm going to report you to Rasmus.

- Is that my lunch? - It's my wife.

She kicked me out, and I don't know what to do.

Is that my lunch?

Please don't tell on me.

Please don't. I'll get fired.

- Veggie lasagna. - Okay.

It's tasty, it's healthy, and it keeps for many days, if you're alone.

- I've never been alone before. - I've been alone for 33 years.

It's not that bad, if you like your own company.

Apron.

Rinse and chop.

- Err ... - Rinse and chop.

Well ... I'd better ...

I'm keeping you away from home.

- You must be beat. - You know, I enjoy talking too.

I come here and drink all your sherry and go on about my dead mother.

- There you go again. - What?

Deciding if people should be with you or not.

Sit down.

Haven't you got anyone waiting for you?

You have to pay my kids to be in the same room with me.

- They hate me. - They love you ... and hate you.

You have that effect on people. They hate you a little, and ...

... then they love you a little more.

- Your wife doesn't feel that way. - She's jealous.

Why should she be jealous?

I mean, she's married to you.

But you're Rita.

And Rita is ... special.

I'd better get that.

What are you laughing at?

I'm writing a fairy tale with my second-graders.

I was just reminded of something.

Is it going to be a good story?

I don't know. It doesn't have an ending yet.

Hey! No running in the halls. You know very well.

No running in the halls. You know very well.

- Hi. Rita... - Yeah?

Don't you have a funeral to go to?

It's your mother.

Just be happy you don't have to find a sub, okay?

I have a fairy tale to finish.

Okay. The princess found her prince, and all was well for a while.

You're the world's nicest princess.

And you're the nicest prince.

But one day the queen returned.

- Mom, where have you been? - Out fulfilling myself.

What does that mean?

It's something grown-ups say when they only think of themselves.

And when grown-ups only think of themselves, their children get mad.

Just like our princess.

- Go away, stupid prince. - But I want to be with you.

It's just something you think. Go away!

- But, Princess ... - Then I'm going to go.

That's all, folks.

But why didn't the prince and the princess get married?

Well, the princess thought she was half ogre like her dad.

So she had to find a prince who was half ogre too.

- Like Shrek? - Exactly.

Cool.

- Hi. Hello, sweetie. - Hi, Mom.

- Have you seen Rita? - No.

- She'll be here. - Ricco, did you hear from Mom?

Not a fucking word.

- Come on. - In a minute.

I remember her as a warm and caring mom.

And she was such a good grandma to you.

Still no sign of Mom? I'm sick of small talking with Auntie Gitte.

- Have you tried her cell? - No answer.

- Embarrassing, huh? - She's on her way.

I'm just glad Mom isn't alive to see it. That's the only upside.

I'll go check again.

I don't get it.

Did the princess and the queen make up?

- No. - They never saw each other again?

No, they didn't.

That's not a real ending.

No.

I guess it isn't.

- Take over my class, will you? - Sure. Why?

I need to get to that funeral.

We're gathered here to say goodbye to Lillebeth Schmidt Kronborg -

- the mother of Gitte and Rita and the widow of Knud.

Saying it may be easy, but believing it is hard.

She is no longer among us. And a long ...

Sorry.

Lillebeth Schmidt Kronborg is dead. Saying it may be easy -

- but believing it is hard. She is no longer among us.

Let's begin by singing the first hymn.

Subtitles: Helle Schou Kristiansen Dansk Video Tekst