Original subtitles

Thank you for doing this, boys. She's through here.

There she is.

I've seen her in the daylight hours,

but she looks so peaceful at night.

Yeah. Like she's sleeping.

Well, she's been "sleeping" for over 2,000 years.

She's the real deal, then?

A rare and precious thing.

That's what mummies do, right?

They... They sleep a lot 'cause,

you know, they're not actually dead.

That's vampires, bro, from Poland.

Mummies are from ancient Greece.

Egypt.

And Egypt.

Rhutenkharmese has been the centerpiece

of the Broken wood Museum for over 70 years.

You have the address?

We will take good care of Rhuten.

No scratches, you understand?

- Totes. - And no stops.

There can be absolutely no chance of anything going wrong.

We're professionals.

We've done this sort of thing hundreds of times.

No, we've never moved a mummy before.

Okay. Not mummies, but stuff.

In general. Heaps.

Daphne, please relax.

We're only too happy to help because, I for one,

have always had a deep interest in history.

Particularly the Roman pyramids.

- Egyptian. - Yeah! Okay.

Personally, I prefer the Roman ones,

but that's a matter of taste.

Take her away, boys.

Whoa. It's heavier than I expected.

Yeah. Maybe it's a daddy.

There's a rest area up ahead.

Pull over, Frodes.

What? No, Daphne said no stops.

Hey, I'm in charge,

and I say we need to stop and check the cargo.

I don't like this.

Don't fret. Just hold the fort.

Give us a hand, bro.

Hey, I thought we were checking on the, um...

Hey. This is where you don't ask, you just do what I say.

Alright? Come on.

Johnny?

Oh!

- Hoo! - Aah!

Johnny!

Oh, good, you've found it.

It's a dummy, dummy.

Come on. Give us a hand.

This wasn't part of the plan, Johnny.

Work with me, Rhys.

I'm not sure about this idea at all.

I've had enough trouble with my own mother,

let alone some else's who died, what, 2,000 years ago?

Rhys, chill out.

I've cut you in on an even split, 70/30.

Nah, nah, I'm not sure.

80/20, then.

Now, make yourself useful.

Jesus Christ!

You bastard!

No way.

What the hell?

Whoa, get back!

I said back off!

Are you okay?

No way.

Mum?

*THE BROKENWOOD MYSTERIES* Season 08 Episode 01

Episode Title: "From the Cradle to the Grave" Aired on: July 01, 2022.

What have we got?

Well, the details on this one

are a little sketchy

and unusual.

The deceased is possibly a Janis Oades,

mother of Rhys Oades,

who, along with his cousin Frodo

and brother Johnny

were transporting the mummy Rhutenkharmese

from the museum to a private residence in Rivers tone.

Somehow Janis ended up inside the coffin,

then escaped, then died moments later.

- Nothing unusual in that. - Yeah.

But wasn't Rhys in prison

for his part in the savings bank robbery?

Yeah, until he was released on parole... today.

And he hasn't made a positive I.D.?

Well, according to him,

"I'm pretty sure, but I haven't seen her for a while.

And I've never seen her dressed up in bandages before.

It's pretty confusing.

If it's her, her name is Janis."

I didn't know anything about anything.

I was just the driver. It was my cousin Johnny's gig.

Johnny was here?

He took off.

Why?

Well, it was pretty freaky.

What do you know about that?

Never seen it before. Ask Johnny.

I would if he'd decided to stick around.

I am certain of one thing already, Mike.

That woman is not Egyptian.

She looks more Irish, with a hint of Bulgarian maybe.

Well, Janis, if that's your name, this is a first.

Mother posing as a mummy.

Fancy dress party gone wrong?

Or possibly Lithuanian.

Ah.

We'll do our best to find out what went wrong.

Excuse me.

Uh, D.S.S. Mike Shepherd. Can I help?

Daphne Richards.

That mummy belongs to me.

What the hell's going on?

Ah, maybe it's warmer down at the station.

Tami Neil son's "Hey Mama" plays...

♪ Hey, Mama, don't cry ♪

♪ Hey, Mama, don't cry ♪

♪ I'm going home ♪

♪ Hey, Mama, don't you cry ♪

Rhys.

It's been a busy day for you, hasn't it?

I understand you were released

from Broken wood Men's Prison at 2:00 p.m.,

only to end up at a murder scene at 11:00 p.m.

Yeah. Tell me about it.

Well, actually, I was hoping you could tell me.

Oh.

When did you last see your mum alive?

Probably about, oh, 10 years ago.

Yeah, she hit me over the head with a badminton racquet.

Why did she do that?

'Cause she wanted me to play tennis.

So you last saw her 10 years ago?

Hard to forget something like that.

How, then, did she end up in the back of Frodo's coffee cart

in an ancient Egyptian coffin at 11:00 p.m. on a Friday night?

I told you. It was Johnny's idea.

He came to me with a proposition...

A rare antiquity?

Yeah, that's what I said.

And I need a wing man.

Someone I can trust.

Someone with a trailer of these very proportions.

You have a trailer.

Mm. But it's not covered, Frodes.

It's not covered.

I guess he was worried it might rain or something.

Do you think Johnny might have been set up?

Or he was setting you up.

No, why would he do that?

Why would Johnny Oades be moving a 2,000-year-old mummy?

I've been asking myself the same thing.

The cost of freight to Rivers tone is ridiculous.

Special insurance and the rest.

Gordon, I'll lose 10%.

Well, that's on you, darling.

I'm already paying over the odds for the tatty old girl.

Johnny Oades approached the next day

and made a very generous offer.

I don't want her to go.

Yeah, I felt the same about my own mum

when she went into rehab.

I was after payment for the lawns.

Of course.

But I was thinking...

Me and my team could get Rhuten over to Rivers tone for you.

No charge.

You get what you pay for, I suppose.

Or in Gordon's case, you don't.

And Gordon is?

Gordon Godley.

A collector of rare artifacts.

More money than sense.

But I named my price, and he didn't bat an eye.

Can I ask how much?

$100,000.

That's a lot of money.

My museum is going broke.

I was grateful for the offer.

Given the contents of the mummy's coffin

contained a victim, believed to be Janis Oades,

it does raise the question

as to where the remains of Rhutenkharmese are now?

And that is very concerning.

I should lodge a missing persons.

It's probably more a case of theft.

The missing person I'm most interested in is Johnny Oades.

If Frodo had anything to do with it,

he's taking it pretty hard.

For the record, Janis was actually my godmother

before she hooked up with my dad and became my step mum.

So she's not your auntie?

No, she is, 'cause then she left my dad

and married my Uncle Bobby, so she became my auntie, too.

And Johnny's?

Yeah. It's complicated.

Look, I'm kind of grieving on three different fronts here,

and I'm really worried about Johnny.

Well, take your time, Frodo.

But from the outside

it seems that Johnny orchestrated

to have the mummy in his possession,

got you to stop the car,

and, according to Rhys, open the casket.

He had some ulterior motive going on.

Although Rhys said that Johnny was as surprised as he was.

Jesus Christ!

You bastard!

It's interesting that your mother's last words were

"You bastard."

It's not exactly a term of endearment, is it?

No. No, it isn't.

So can you understand what I'm thinking here?

Oh, my God.

Johnny's an illegitimate child?

Clearly prison did nothing to reform Rhys' I.Q.

Gordon Godley needs to be spoken to.

He is...?

The intended recipient of Rhutenkharmese.

A retired archaeologist.

Does he have any connection to Janis Oades?

Likewise Rhys, Frodo, and Johnny.

On it.

If Johnny Oades is so innocent,

why hasn't he come forward?

We've got an alert out on him.

He can't have got far.

How did a 21st-century woman

end up in a 2,000-year-old coffin?

Uh, prank gone wrong?

Costume party fail?

Or someone trying to avoid burial costs?

While we wait for a positive I.D.,

let's find out everything we can about Janis.

Okay. Rhys and Frodo?

We've got their statements. They can go for now.

Sims. There's an Abigail Phoenix for you.

I'm Detective Sims. How can I help?

Rhys Oades is my boyfriend. He called me.

Right.

So you're aware of what's happened?

I think so. He was really upset.

Is his mum dead?

We're still waiting on a formal identification.

But yes.

How well did you know Janis?

I only met her this evening when we had drinks for Rhys.

But she really seemed nice.

To turning over a new leaf on the tree of life.

Fresh starts, cuz.

To new beginnings for my "Rhyses Pieces."

Means a lot.

Welcome home, Rhys.

Hey, Mum.

- Hey, Auntie-Mum. - Hey, Auntie.

Sorry I didn't visit you in the clink

but you're a big boy now, right?

You made your bed, you lie in it.

Yep.

And who's this?

Oh, Mum, this is Abigail.

My girlfriend.

- Hello, Abigail. - Hello, Janis.

Welcome to the family.

Wait. Rhys was there?

Yeah, of course. The drinks were for him.

What... What time was this?

Around 6:00.

What time did Janis leave?

Um, I don't know. I left before her.

Around 6:30, I guess.

I had to get back to work at the museum.

Okay, you... you work at the museum?

On the front desk, and I help out Daphne

with the functions and stuff.

That's how I met Rhys. Through Johnny.

He mows the lawns there.

Did I mention my brother's in jail?

He's a bit of a bad ass.

Bank robbery. Doing 12 long ones.

12 years?

Nah, months. He was just the driver.

Well, I hope he's being rehabilitated.

Sounds like someone who needs to be supported,

not mythologized.

Yeah. Totes.

I figured Johnny wasn't gonna help out much,

so I wrote to him, and he wrote back.

He's actually a sweet guy.

I really hope he's not in any more trouble.

Would you mind waiting here? Rhys will be out in a moment.

Uh, a witness has Janis Oades at the Snake and Tiger

around 6:30.

Frodo, you are free to go.

Although I'm sure we'll be in touch with follow-up questions.

Um, what about my coffee cart?

Someone will be in touch.

Clements will show you out.

Rhys. Abigail's here.

Oh. Awesome.

Apparently you went to the pub for a drink

earlier this evening.

I did, yeah.

Mm. And your mum was there too.

Oh, yeah. Actually, she was.

I'm just a bit curious as to why

you omitted to mention it when I asked before?

Yeah, nah, I-I did see her, but it was real brief.

She wasn't there long.

Um, she just popped in to say hi

and then had to see some guy about a thing.

A guy. What guy?

Don't know. She didn't say.

Would be a work thing, probably.

What was your mum's line of work?

Singing telegrams.

Yeah, she's been doing it since I was a kid.

Apparently real good.

Rhys, will you be okay to make that I.D. on your mum tomorrow?

- It's a formality. - Yep. Should be okay.

Hey, you. You okay?

Yeah, totally.

I am so sad for you about your mum.

Yeah, nah, it's full on.

I'm here for you. You know that, eh?

We'll see you tomorrow, Rhys.

Um, one thing.

You know how you're looking for Johnny?

He wasn't even there when my mum kind of died,

so he had nothing to do with it.

Are you saying you want to change your statement?

I think that would be best.

So, Rhys, Frodo has already said,

"I heard screams.

I jumped from my car and saw Rhys and Johnny

leaping around, freaking out

'cause of this monstery thing in bandages.

Like I said, it was freaky."

It was pretty dark.

You know, maybe Frodo wasn't wearing his glasses.

Well, Frodo doesn't wear glasses.

Yeah, maybe he should.

Although Johnny might not have been around the coffee cart,

it doesn't mean he didn't have some prior knowledge

about how Janis came to be indisposed.

Now there may be a simple explanation

as to how she ended up in the mummy's coffin

so we just want to talk to him.

You know, just to clear things up, that's all.

So do you have any idea where he is?

Are you sure, hon?

No, I don't.

If you'll excuse me.

Well, he's lying. Just not sure why.

Let him go about his day tomorrow, see where he leads us.

Okay.

I take it that car belongs to Johnny Oades?

Uh, yes.

He left it there last night.

Organize to have it guarded

in case Johnny tries to pick it up.

Copy that.

There's a vehicle registered to Janis Oades

found on Glendalough Lane.

I'll check it out.

This way.

They really did use bandages?

They did.

It's not some Hollywood creation as some think.

I take it this room is temperature controlled?

Naturally.

And alarmed?

When the museum is alarmed, these are activated.

- How many people know the code? - Only me.

Did you check the mummy before it left the premises?

Of course. Around 5:00 p.m.?

After we closed.

Was it checked by both of you?

"She," Detective. Rhutenkharmese was a person.

Apologies. "She."

I was going to, but I had to go and see Rhys.

So only you?

Yes.

You checked her at 5:00 p.m., then went home?

No, I stayed on the premises to prepare for my lecture.

Daphne gives a monthly lecture

to the Friends of the Museum supporters

on a variety of topics.

Last evening's was on the story of Rhutenkharmese,

it being her last evening with us.

Old linen sheets were used

to draw moisture away from the body

and also to hold the shape of the person.

This was an integral part of the mummification process,

moisture being the enemy of preservation.

Then, after a small supper, they left,

and I waited, doing paperwork, until about 9:45 p.m.

when Johnny and his team arrived.

What was supper?

Tea, coffee, sausage rolls. That sort of thing.

Abigail does a lovely spread.

I'm under no illusions that most of the supporters

only come for the supper.

Most of what I say goes right over their heads.

But so long as the food is good, they leave satisfied.

Can't beat a good sausage roll.

Why was transfer so late?

It was Johnny's idea.

Oh, Fennella. Detective Shepherd.

My daughter, Fennella.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

There can be no cleaning

until we've finished examining the tomb room, okay?

- You say it was Johnny's idea? - Yeah.

I prefer nighttime.

Less traffic, less chance of roadworks

Variables, you know?

I work at night mainly, too.

It's kind of more zen.

- Last night? - After the lecture, yeah.

The coffin is actually known as the suhet

and is usually made out of sycamore fig.

Ahh.

The sarcophagus is the stone container

that houses the suhet.

That's when you made another supper

fit for an old folks home.

Fennella!

What? I'm just calling it like it is.

The exact number of mummies prepared is unknown,

but we have been privileged to have Rhutenkharmese

lie with us all these years.

And with that, supper is served.

It's what they want.

Ugh! Not me.

It's not like you help. Why do you even come?

To support my mother.

Alright. Enough.

Sorry.

Hey, baby.

Oh, hey, yeah.

Anything I can do.

I'll see you soon.

Rhys. He's asking if I can be with him to I.D. his mum.

He's upset.

Of course.

I can give you a lift if you like.

Okay. Great.

Uh, you left the lecture before supper?

Yeah.

Because I hate asparagus and I had to start cleaning.

Did you go near the tomb room?

No. They were moving the mummy.

There's no point in mopping the floor before that.

Okay. That'll be all for now.

Excuse me.

Talk to me.

Janis's car's unlocked,

keys in the ignition,

petrol tank half full.

Judging by the tire marks, it wasn't a hard stop.

Like she parked it and walked away...

Although without her handbag.

Any signs of a struggle?

Nothing obvious.

Okay. Thanks.

Like the car. Very retro.

Thank you.

My granddad had one just like it.

It's very dependable.

Don't bother leaving a message.

I never check them.

There's no hurry with this. You can take your time.

The good news is, your mother was not a real mummy,

otherwise she would have had all her organs removed

except her heart.

This would make my job quite difficult.

Excuse me, what are you doing here?

Oh, well, the door was open.

Oh, my God, you shouldn't be touching my body!

Oh. Hey... Hey, Dad.

Rhys.

What a bugger, eh?

You're Janis's husband?

Ex-husband.

But details shouldn't matter at a time like this.

As God is my witness, I'm... Oh, I'm gutted.

My condolences.

My heart is broken, and my nuts, they're in a vise.

I'm emotionally and... And painfully devastated.

I think we should...

You two can both verify that this person is Janis Oades?

That's Mum.

Woman of my dreams until the dream ended.

Oh. Who's this little picture of beauty?

Oh, uh, Dad, this is my, um, girlfriend, Abigail.

Hello, Bobby.

I can see what you see in her, mate. Well done.

Good to see someone keeping him on the straight and narrow.

Yeah.

Well, I'd better get back to work.

I just wanted to pay my respects, that's all.

Ah.

Well, ah, that's all we need for now.

- Do you need a ride back? - No.

We'll get a cup of coffee or something, eh, baby?

Abigail.

After the supper, did you wait at the museum?

No, I went straight home to cook a dinner for Rhys.

Being his first night out, I wanted to make it special.

Of course, it did go cold.

Even cold, it was really good.

And Rhys, between 6:30 and 9:30, where were you?

At the Snake and Tiger.

Everyone left, so I played a game of pool.

Yeah, it had been a while.

How did you get to the museum?

Johnny and Frodo picked me up around 9:00, I guess.

Thanks.

And this... 3000 B.C.

Early to middle Bronze Age.

Byzantine, of course.

And this...

You'll never guess the year.

You're right, I probably won't.

Go on. Have a shot.

Uh, 200 A.D.?

Maybe Greco-Roman?

1971.

Terra-cotta pottery from some hippie commune

in the Coromandel.

Don't worry, you wouldn't be the first to get it wrong.

Well, you've certainly had a very exciting career.

Please take one. I have a spare copy somewhere.

Oh, no, I can't. We can't accept gifts.

Oh, I see.

Well, if you want to know my story, it's all in there.

A story not without its disappointments, mind you.

In truth, my passion was finding the sunken city of Atlantis,

but asthma prevented me

from doing the Jacques Cousteau thing.

So I stuck to the desert and the dust.

Hence your interest in Egyptology.

But in all my years on the banks of the Nile

I never netted a mummy.

So if you can't find one, buy one?

Rhutenkharmese was about a sense of completion.

$100,000 worth?

On the open market, I'd get 10 times that.

Were you planning on making a profit?

I don't need to make more money.

Do you think I would go to all that trouble

if I was planning a quick flip?

You were seen leaving the lecture last night

before supper was served.

Where were you going?

A trip to the gentlemen's, as I recall.

And do you know a Janis Oades?

Stop! Stop, stop, stop.

She's by the river.

- Janis? - Lakmé.

She's gathering flowers with Mallika by the river.

The Nile, I like to think.

Right.

Are we good, or...?

Rejuvenated.

Now, where were we?

Janis. Oades. Do you know her?

Hmm. Oades.

I don't believe so.

Borrow it. I insist.

Would you like me to sign it?

Did you do something different?

I find pouring hot water over the coffee grounds

much more effective than the other way around.

Hmm. Good tip.

We have a cause of death from Gina.

Heart failure caused by asphyxiation.

No sign of strangulation?

She suffocated.

Exactly why? We wait for toxicology.

I have my suspicions,

but I like to keep my clothes close to my body.

Bet you were relieved about that.

Russian turn of phrase, no doubt.

Or a tease.

Makes sense, though.

Suffocation from being sealed in a coffin.

Though at 2,000 years old, I doubt that it's airtight.

And Rhys reported Janis yelling, "You bastard!"

So she was breathing then.

Or gasping. Her last gasp maybe.

We're treating this as a homicide, right?

Agreed.

So, what do we actually know?

Janis was last seen at the Snake and Tiger at 6:30 p.m.

before being discovered in the coffee cart

moments before her death.

At the pub, she socialized with Frodo,

Johnny, Rhys, and his girlfriend, Abigail.

Abigail left sometime before 6:30

to help Daphne with her lecture at the museum.

And Janis sent a text message at 6:35 p.m.

saying she was "on her way,"

after saying she had to see "a man about a thing."

Which, for now, are we assuming was a singing telegram booking?

Any update on that number?

Unlisted, but I've got a few lines of inquiry underway.

So, somewhere after 6:35, she was placed in the casket.

But before 9:45, when Frodo, Johnny, and Rhys arrived.

Daphne has stated that she was on the premises throughout,

which means that the museum, and therefore the tomb room,

had no alarm activated.

The lecture lasted from 7:30 to 8:30,

including supper.

And the only people to leave the room were Abigail,

to prepare the supper;

Gordon Godley, to relieve himself;

And Fennella, to...

Start her cleaning, apparently,

but that could do with some clarification.

Hmm.

With the alarm deactivated,

the tomb room was accessible during this period.

We need to know the movements of

Fennella Richards,

Rhys, Frodo, and the elusive Johnny Oades during this time.

Don't judge me.

There's not much else to do without my coffee cart.

Heard from Johnny at all?

- No. - Well, if you do...

Don't worry. I'll give him a smack.

Just tell him we'd love to have a chat.

His stupid plan is costing me business.

Did Janis mention where she was going

after she left the Snake and Tiger?

No, just the usual.

I've got to see a man about a thing.

Which we understand to be a singing telegram booking.

Did Rhys tell you that?

He did.

You should probably know that Janis was a...

A...?

You know.

I don't know.

Come on, man. A...

A "woman of the night."

An escort?

Shh!

Yeah. She has been for years.

Ever since I was a kid.

She was always popping out and saying,

"Oh, I'm just off to sing for my supper."

Which is why Rhys thinks she performs singing telegrams?

Yeah, well, they're kind of the same thing, really.

Just one's got more singing.

And a telegram.

You can come through now.

Stay here, son. I can handle this.

So, apart from Rhys, I've got Debbie and Lisa.

They're up at Tahuna Point. Twins.

Lovely mother. Loves disco.

Nothing wrong with a bit of disco.

Great mood-setter.

And then there's, ah...

Ah, well, that's Tracey and Dwayne.

They're over in Rivers tone.

Their mother's a bit of a handful, if I'm honest.

Very demanding.

Physically.

Right, that's very interesting, but...

And then there's Jono and Frodo. Um...

Wait, sorry. Frodo is your son too?

Possibly.

Um, just quietly, there was a bit of an overlap with me

and my brother's first wife.

We don't talk about it with Frodes.

But Johnny?

Oh, yeah, he's all mine. Yeah, he's my firstborn.

I was only 17, but you know, virility is a gift

that cries out to be shared, yeah?

Have you seen him lately?

Not that I recall. Why?

We'd like to talk to him.

Well, let the boy grieve.

We're all grieving. For a good woman lost, eh?

I've grieved, I tell you.

And amidst all that grief, I started to think about...

Why?

Why was she taken so soon?

And?

Have you seen the will?

No. Have you?

No, but there was a life insurance policy.

Yeah, she got it when we were together,

and knowing Janis as well as I do,

which is extremely well,

uh, it's highly unlikely that she canceled it.

You're suggesting that someone had Janis killed

to benefit from that policy?

Just thought you should know.

Well, as yet, no will has been forthcoming.

It may be that she died intestate.

What's that if it's not legal mumbo jumbo?

If there is no will, her estate will be administered

by the courts to go into probate.

I think Janis would want her death

to be a positive outcome for the kids.

It's better that I handle the family affairs.

If a will does come to light,

I'm sure a lawyer will be in touch...

Assuming, that is, you are mentioned in it.

Aha. I will be.

Janis loved me, and our connection was so...

well, it was so passionate it couldn't be contained.

Hello?

- Who's this? - Who wants to know?

Detective Constable Daniel Chalmers,

Broken wood CIB.

You are?

- Elfred. - Elfred.

I'd like to have a little chat about a Janis Oades.

I don't know anyone by that name.

Someone from your number texted her last night multiple times.

That wasn't you?

Can we meet somewhere discreet?

Nothing to see here, son.

It seems that she died "in prostate."

- Intestate. - Mm? Yeah.

And it seems she had stomach problems as well.

She may have died without a will.

- Oh, hello. - Hello.

You two know each other?

Only in passing.

Mm.

Come on.

You had some questions?

Ah. Please.

I take it your grandfather was an archaeologist.

No, artilleryman. Second World War.

El-A lame in.

He won Rhutenkharmese in a poker game.

Some soldiers came back from the war with physical wounds,

others with PTSD.

My grandfather came back with an Egyptian mummy,

and he built a museum around her.

I've taken the liberty to call the National Museum

to advise on a preservation plan.

I wish you had not done that.

As an exhibit in a homicide, it needs to be kept by the police.

This room is temperature controlled

up to a point but it's...

Any progress with her remains?

Ah, not as yet.

So, you didn't stay for the supper.

No.

Because you... You don't like asparagus?

Who does?

Mm, I do, actually.

Your funeral.

So while the others were enjoying

their lethal sandwiches and raspberry slice, you were...?

I always start in the maritime section.

And did you notice anyone else at that time?

Anyone, um, entering the tomb room?

I was focused on my work.

That's when I noticed the helmet.

Had it fallen or been knocked?

Never happened before, though.

Have you had any dealings with a Janis Oades?

I've never met anyone by that name.

But you know Johnny Oades, of course?

Oh, yeah.

His car's still parked out the front.

You haven't seen him lurking around have you?

No.

He asked me out once.

Johnny?

I said, "No, Johnny, no.

That's not something you do with your half-sister."

I just cleaned that.

Sorry.

Uh, does that mean...?

Bobby Oades is my dad? Yeah, apparently.

Mum doesn't really like to talk about it,

so we don't have anything to do with him.

He's a gravedigger, though. I know that much.

My dad digs graves.

I always thought that was pretty cool.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

He's a cool guy.

Daphne Richards has a child to Bobby Oades,

Janis's ex-husband.

Surely that has some significance

above and beyond the fact he has at least eight children.

- Eight? - Yeah.

Seriously, the man is a phenomenon.

Is there anyone in Broken wood not fathered by him?

Pretty sure I'm not.

Yeah, and you should feel very okay about that.

What about Janis's phone?

Janis's last booking was a gentleman by the name of Elfred.

He didn't want to come into the police station

or have me come to his home.

He admits texting Janis,

though he only knew her as "Flora Begonia."

Very exotic.

He swears Janis never turned up at his place

which is 10 K's beyond where Janis's car was found

out near Pateke Point.

Which suggests she was en route.

Mm.

The IT guys established

that Janis's smart phone never clicked over

to the Pateke Point cell tower.

She, or at least her phone, never went to Elfred's place.

She stopped along the way at Glendalough Lane...

For a reason as yet unknown.

Then somehow got herself into a coffin at the museum,

which is a five-minute drive away here.

Glendalough Lane is very close to the cemetery

where Bobby Oades works.

Can that be a coincidence?

Ugh. Bobby Oades.

Even just the name makes me want to take a shower.

Gordon's pulling out of the deal.

- I can't afford to stay open. - I'm sorry to hear that.

Perhaps if you'd made finding the remains

of Rhutenkharmese were more of a priority,

I could have kept the sale together.

I'm confident that once we find the person

who disposed of Janis Oades,

that will lead to Rhutenkharmese being recovered.

Too late for me.

Bobby Oades?

What about him?

I understand he is Fennella's father.

So? What if he is?

You said you only knew him in passing.

Which is sadly accurate.

The result of one too many flaming sambucas

at the Frog and Cheetah 20 years ago.

It's not something I like to dwell on.

So you two are not in contact?

Not if I can help it.

Why?

Bobby does nothing

nor has he ever done anything for me or Fennella.

He was Janis's ex-husband.

I'm just wondering if you knew her in passing too.

I told you. I never met the woman.

I'd heard of her,

and from what I understood

I doubt she was the museum type.

She'd certainly never been here.

Bobby's been making noises about a life insurance policy.

He seemed hopeful.

Well, perhaps if he gets a payout,

he might like to send some of it my way...

20 years of back-dated child support

could come in handy right now.

Got an update on Janis's will?

Ah, we're not here about that.

Better be quick. Got a long night ahead.

Couple of graves to dig.

You dig by hand?

Hell yeah. None of this machine nonsense.

Each one bespoke. Each one guaranteed 90 degrees.

You want to lie in the ground, you want to lie straight.

I'll be digging one for Janis soon.

That'll be a special time.

We understand that you prefer to work at night.

Why's that?

Less interruptions.

You, um, have a daughter, Fennella,

who works at the museum.

Apparently.

We've never managed to bond.

Her mother's always been a bit arms-length.

Fresh turf for a grave dated 1919?

Maintenance.

These old graves, sometimes they sink.

Were you working two nights ago?

The night that Janis died?

Yep. Till about 9:00 p.m.

Glendalough Lane isn't far.

Around 6:45 p.m.,

a car pulled off to the side of the road.

It was Janis. See anything?

Mate, most of my work is six feet below ground level.

She could've landed a jumbo jet, I wouldn't have seen anything.

And after 9:00 p.m.?

I was at the Snake and Tiger until closing

with my son Johnny.

Johnny wasn't there.

He was ferrying an Egyptian mummy to Rivers tone

between 9:00 and 11:00.

It's not how I remember it.

Johnny was at the pub. You can ask the barmaid.

We might just do that.

You need to clean up your mess.

All good, Dad. I got a plan.

Let's hope it's better than the last bloody one.

Toxicology has confirmed what I already suspected.

The victim was carrying

an extraordinarily high level of Ketamine.

Horse tranquilizer?

I thought she was part Bulgarian,

but now I think she is part horse,

because only a horse could survive that amount of sedation.

Although she didn't.

She survived long enough to get out of the death casket

and chase young men down the street.

Do we know how she ingested it?

I took another close look.

I can find no evidence of injection or residue

in the nasal cavity, or signs of suppository.

So she took it orally?

I deduce she most likely drank it.

Yeah, I remember Johnny.

He was acting like the half-wit that he is.

Reckoned he'd fallen asleep in the toilet.

You know, you'd make a great mother.

I have an instinct for these things.

More drinking, less talking, Bobby.

Yeah.

Oh, my God!

What do you know.

I must've fallen asleep in the dunny for like two hours.

I'll have another.

What?

Of whatever it is I was having before.

Before what?

Before I fell asleep in the dunny.

For two hours!

Have you considered colonic irrigation?

What is that?

What time was this?

About 11:00.

He was sweating as though he'd run a marathon.

I assumed it was just because he's up to his old tricks.

If you've been dealing in the toilets again...

No way. Not me.

Not ever. God's honest.

Search me. I'm clean.

Yeah, you better be.

Because if I catch you at it, I'll break both your arms.

Johnny was dealing drugs?

I can't prove it.

And I'm no nark. But I'm pretty sure.

Have you seen him since that night?

- No. - And Rhys Oades.

On the night in question, was he here by himself

between 6:30 and 9:00 before Frodo picked him up?

He popped out for a while.

Poor kid.

First night out of the can,

drink goes straight to your head.

Gina's declared that the victim was incapacitated by Ketamine.

Based on the volume in her bloodstream,

she probably took it 15 to 20 minutes before

she fell into a catatonic state.

Ketamine, the horse tranquilizer?

And recreational drug.

And guess who's been up to his old tricks.

Johnny Oades?

Supposedly dealing at the Snake and Tiger.

Mm.

Get that car of his searched.

Senior.

And while you're at it, pop into the hospital.

Johnny's just been taken there by one of our uniform guys.

You can have two minutes with him.

He's possibly suffering some kind of psychosis.

We're running tests.

And how has this psychosis presented?

Detective, you know I can't say.

Johnny.

You're a hard man to get hold of.

Pumpkin-headed butterflies doing the fandango.

We know you've had a hard time with the death of your auntie,

but we just need to talk about what happened that night.

- That's all. - Nothing to do with me.

- I wasn't even there. - We know that's not true.

What we don't know is why you're lying.

You should know I'm not mentally fit to stand trial.

For what?

Anything.

Would that have anything to do with the death of your auntie?

Pink fairies on a pumpkin head.

Scaramouche, Scaramou...

- He needs to rest. - He needs acting lessons.

Detectives.

See you real soon, Johnny.

Detective Sims.

Rhys.

I'm wondering if you could come over for a chat about something?

Abigail's made afternoon tea.

An offer too good to refuse.

What are you looking for?

Drugs.

Well, he wouldn't keep them in the car. It's too obvious.

We're talking about Johnny Oades here.

You okay there?

He calls it his mobile dispensary.

Time to get back to work.

I have to say that is the freshest I've ever tasted.

Anything less would be a travesty.

It's been a while since I've encountered

a classic vol-au-vent.

Time consuming but worth it

for the crunch and crackle of the puff pastry.

Well, you certainly are a dab hand in the kitchen.

I have my Nana to thank for all her homemaking tips.

Did she teach you how to knit, too?

She did. Do you?

Oh, no.

Abigail's real talented.

No, you're the talented one.

I'm gonna read them one of your letters.

- No, oh, no. - No?

- No. - I'm going to.

"Dear Abigail, thank you for your letter.

It lifted my spirits no end, like a native hawk undulating

as it surfs along the rolling southwesterly breeze,

the wind that pulls my love

across the scarred landscape of my heart to you.

Time, space, air, you.

Rhys."

Isn't that lovely?

Wow. Wow.

You wrote that?

Uh, yeah.

The thing about prison is there's lots of time.

4,380 hours is what he endured.

And what do you plan to do with your new found freedom, Rhys?

Uh, well, I always wanted to be an astronaut, um,

and Abigail said, you know,

it's never too late to reach for the stars.

So, I'm gonna train in that.

Yeah, except apparently you got to be real good at maths.

Well, as my Nana said,

roadblocks are only blocks in the road

that need to be removed for happy motoring.

Or in your case, happy space travel!

Ah, so, Rhys, what was it you wanted to chat to us about?

Was it about the fact that you weren't at the pub

for the whole time that you suggested?

'Cause we do have a witness who saw you leave.

Be honest, love.

A little bit, yeah.

The thing about prison is, there's time but no stars.

I just wanted to see the stars.

And the rest as well.

About Johnny.

Yeah, about my statement, how I changed it?

I'd like to change it back.

He lied to protect Johnny

because Johnny was freaking out.

Oh, hey, Johnny.

Shh!

Hey, how did you get in here, man?

Man of stealth, Rhys, man of stealth.

Now, listen good.

I wasn't there, you understand?

- How's that? - You owe me!

What? What for?

I picked you up from prison today, no charge.

Yeah, but look where I am now!

Don't be a girl. This is about life and death.

First, Janis. How'd that happen?

I could be next.

Shh!

Frodo, you are free to go.

We'll be in touch with follow-up questions.

What about my coffee cart?

That's so embarrassing.

He'll keep.

Thank you for your belated honesty, Rhys.

Oh, no worries. Anytime.

And, um, thank you for your sensational catering.

Those sausage rolls.

I can see what all the fuss was about.

My pleasure.

Trade secret... On the packet it says

preheat oven to 180 degrees

and then leave in for 15 minutes.

- But don't. - Don't preheat?

Straight in and leave for 22 minutes.

That way the sausage rolls and the oven, they work together.

Good tip.

But you've got to watch them constantly.

A minute too long and they'll go from golden brown to coal.

I'll try it.

Thanks again.

Rhys Oades as an astronaut. Now, there's a special thought.

It's good to have goals.

It's not good to be deluded, as Abigail surely is

if she thinks Rhys wrote those letters.

He would've got another inmate to write them.

Oldest trick in the book.

But it means he's still not being a 100% honest.

No, but on a positive note, we do have a time line

for how long it took for supper to be prepared.

22 minutes?

And if she was cooking and Daphne was lecturing,

what was Gordon Godley doing all that time?

♪ And everybody's got their poison ♪

It's around the back. You're good to go.

Sweet as. First coffee's on me.

No need for that. Thanks, Frodo.

Detective Shepherd?

Ah, no. I'll get him for you. You are?

Antigone James. National Museum.

Okay. Just a minute.

Boss, the museum expert.

Thanks.

Gina.

You should know the powder is Ketamine.

Gina, you're a very clever woman.

But I already know that.

Positive on Johnny Oades's merchandise.

I'm gonna bring him in for a chat.

Copy that.

Frodo! You need to move that.

Well, I can't. The engine will seize.

I can still do you a coffee, though?

Boss, I need to borrow your car.

Excuse me.

- Is this a wind-up? - Seriously. Mine's blocked in.

- What about Kristin's? - She's in Rivers tone.

No scratches.

Hey, you know I have a great respect for the elderly.

When you used the gentlemen's on the night in question,

did you visit any other part of the museum?

No.

So nowhere else, then?

Why would I? I've seen it all several times.

Most of it is trite.

Rhutenkharmese was the only thing of value, to be honest.

And how long do you think you were indisposed?

Do we really need to talk about this?

Well, the period between you leaving and returning

is no less than 22 minutes.

I wasn't aware I was being timed.

It's just quite a long period.

Perhaps I indulged in a curry for an early dinner

and it caused me a degree of discomfort,

and perhaps I sat there for a disagreeable period of time.

Perhaps? You either did or you didn't.

Perhaps you can name the Indian restaurant

where you purchased this curry from.

Did I say it was Indian? Perhaps it was Malaysian.

- Mr. Godley... - What do you think I was doing?

Stuffing a woman I've never heard of

into the casket of a mummy?

These days I can barely tie my own shoelaces

let alone heft bodies in and out of coffins.

Any more insinuations and I'll be engaging my lawyer.

Tests show normal brain function.

And his cortisol levels are within an acceptable range.

If he's suffering PTSD,

then it's not presenting in the usual ways.

Normal transmission has resumed, then?

The only unusual thing

is that he keeps asking to be moved to a psych ward.

Which would help in a plea that he's not fit to stand trial.

Any reason why he can't be discharged?

- None that I can see. - Thank you, Doc.

Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.

You're a box of birds, I hear.

Oh, no, quite a bit worse.

They're taking me to the psych ward.

First you're gonna come with me to the station

and give me some straight answers

around the death of Janis Oades.

Nah, I'm struggling a bit mentally, eh?

Do you know what killed your auntie?

Ketamine overdose.

We found some interesting merchandise

under the seat of your lawnmower.

Nice little sideline you've got going there.

No, no, no way.

So it's not hard to make the connection

between your endeavors and Janis's death.

I would never offer drugs to my auntie.

That would be like asking your sister out on a date.

You need to work harder on your analogies.

Okay. I did not know that she was my sister.

Get dressed.

I'll need you to sign Mr. Oades out.

- Of course. - Thank you.

Oh, yeah, it's all coming back to me now.

I can... I can feel the fog of grief lifting.

You've got something you want to tell me?

Firstly, that's Oades with an "O"...

Hey!

Ah!

Police! I need your car.

As you were.

Hey! Hey, Police! I need your car.

Come on!

Gordon Godley is citing curry issues,

but I'm not buying it.

Charlie 3, confirm direction.

Suspect heading west in a white Holden Kings wood,

rego FT 1387.

I'm in pursuit.

Do you want a coffee?

No.

Yeah!

Oh, no, no, no.

Hang in there, baby!

Oh, no, no, no.

Hey!

Dad!

Johnny? No! No, Johnny!

- I need to hide! - Don't come near me!

- Ooh. - Oh!

What was it you wanted to tell me?

I need a bloody ambulance.

What?

No scratches.

Johnny Oades steals my car and there are no scratches?

Slight unspooling.

Is that mechanical?

Holly Collins. It's sacrilege.

Where is he now?

In hospital. With two broken arms.

Huh. That's karma at least.

That grave...

Why were you digging it up again?

I told you. Maintenance.

That's a lot of maintenance.

When these bodies shrink, there's a chance of subsidence.

It happens from time to time. That was a bad one.

When Rhys had "welcome home" drinks

the night that Janis died, you weren't there.

Why was that?

I wasn't invited.

That's the thing with kids... You bring them into the world,

you work your ass off for them, and they forget about you.

It hurts sometimes.

Not as much as losing Janis.

Any update on her will?

He knows more than he's letting on.

We need to keep obs on the cemetery,

see what Bobby Oades gets up to at night.

Johnny's out of surgery.

Johnny, it's good to see you're feeling better.

I'm not.

Aw.

Would you like a sip of water?

Well, we'd like the truth.

I had nothing to do with it. Ask Rhys.

Rhys has supplied us

with various versions of the truth,

none of which made much sense

until he admitted to lying to cover for you.

Frodo, on the other hand, was very clear.

That you were with the coffee cart when Janis emerged.

He said he saw you run off down the road.

Presumably to the Snake and Tiger,

where you concocted a lame story

about having been there for the two hours prior.

And I believe Frodo more than you.

And I expect a judge will too.

Alright! Alright!

But I want immunity from persecution.

What might you be persecuted for, Johnny?

My auntie rose from the dead, and she was accusing me.

You bastard!

Like it was my fault.

But she wasn't even supposed to be in there.

Who was supposed to be in there, Johnny?

Some crumbly old mummy.

So why open the coffin?

I was just gonna look after it,

the mummy, for a while.

That's all.

- Why? - It was a dead person.

Really dead.

2,000 years dead. No harm done.

Why?

Because later, you know, we'd sell it back

to that weirdo Gordon Godley guy.

We've been approached by someone on the dark web

who wants to buy it,

so we're gonna swap the mummy for a dummy.

No one will know, right?

When Gordon realized, we'd make an approach

via an anonymous source and sell him back the missing component.

But I was just doing the grunt work.

It wasn't my idea.

Whose idea was it?

That's just what I've been struggling with.

You see, when I opened the coffin

and my auntie came out,

well, I wasn't prepared for that because

it was her idea.

Janis came up with the plan. Yeah.

Oh, come on, Johnny. Blaming the deceased?

It's the truth.

Auntie knew about Gordon

because she had some personal dealings with him.

Of what nature?

- Do I have to say? - Yes.

She worked sometimes as an...

An escort?

Yeah, we know.

Oh. Okay.

Nothing sexual though. Just a bit weird.

Are you nearly done, Gordy?

You're a marvelous woman, Flora.

I like to think Rhutenkharmese had similar qualities.

That's how Janis knew

about Gordon's excitement over the purchase.

It's a simple switch, Johnny.

I've already measured the coffin.

She's gonna fit real good.

And that nutjob will pay untold

to get his sweetheart back.

Even split, 70/30.

Don't say I don't do anything for you.

Nice.

Me and Janis, we were just trying to pull

a tiny, tiny little shifty over Gordon,

and she ends up dead!

When did Janis measure the coffin?

What does it matter?

The dummy never made it in there.

We'll be back in touch, Johnny.

In the meantime, there'll be a guard stationed out here

if you need anything.

Oh, wait. I get immunity, right?

From persecution? Absolutely.

Oh, sweet as.

From prosecution? Not so much.

Eh?

Shouldn't that be kept at the right temperature?

The museum expert has made some findings.

It's not 2,000 years old.

- Older? - It's not even 200.

It's a mock-up, probably made in the 1940s

and flicked off in bazaars in Cairo

to unsuspecting tourists and soldiers.

So, quite possibly everything about Rhutenkharmese is a ruse?

Except the death of Janis Oades.

Except she was part of the ruse herself.

She and Johnny were in cahoots to rip off Gordon

by stealing the mummy and ransoming it back.

And according to Johnny,

Janis measured the coffin, which means...

She visited the museum.

It still doesn't explain how she ended up inside it, though.

Unless Gordon got wind of it and took preemptive action.

Hello, Gordon. It's Detective Kristin Sims.

Hi, I'd like to speak to you about your curry consumption.

I would be very surprised if Janis Oades had been here.

I thought you didn't know her?

Well, from the little I know of her...

Here we are.

The 17th.

Four days before she died.

Well, that is news to me.

I would've remembered because I would've said, "Oades?

Must be a relation."

Very true.

And if I had seen the name,

I also would have made the connection,

as would've Abigail, given her connection with Rhys.

She must've come in when the desk was unattended.

And still signed the book.

An honest type, perhaps?

Oh, excuse me.

Welcome.

I believe you were of assistance to my colleague

in locating Johnny's drug supply.

Who else knows about it?

Half the town.

And what about your mother?

My mother wouldn't know Ketamine from ketchup.

- But you do? - Only from what I've heard.

Fennella?

A museum expert believes Rhutenkharmese's casket

is not old enough to be authentic.

Sorry?

Are we still dealing with an actual mummy or not?

As far as I know, the coffin is 100% authentic.

Yeah, I assumed you did.

Otherwise it would be a very forward move

to on-sell a bogus mummy to an archaeologist.

Gordon was never an archaeologist.

If you want to talk about authenticity,

maybe you should start with Gordon "Dogly" Godley.

Mike.

Gordon Godley has never been near

an archaeology site in his life.

Copy that.

He made all his money in dog-food products.

Not sure what we're dealing with.

Do you want to wait for backup?

No.

I can handle this.

Do these look familiar?

They are a very successful line in our family business.

One that you've operated for over 45 years.

More or less.

Was that hard to do while excavating in the Middle East?

I took a closer look at this.

This was ghost-written by a local journalist,

Cushla McLeod.

I never said I was a writer.

And she is a lovely girl.

Hmm, well, I rang her.

She said the closest you've ever got to the Nile

is the Egyptian cotton in your sheets.

She was paid well.

Yeah. To write an utter fantasy.

I have a genuine interest in antiquities.

Janis Oades.

Contrary to what you told me, a witness has stated

you had quite a detailed and ongoing relationship.

I didn't recognize the name.

But you do recognize the face.

Flora. I knew her as Flora Begonia.

And you paid for her services sometimes.

Only as a companion. A lovely woman.

So open.

She was open to ripping you off.

I don't know what you mean.

Well, she was planning to have the remains

of Rhutenkharmese stolen to then ransom back to you.

Flora would never do that.

No, but Janis might.

In fact, she did. Up to a point.

But now no one knows where Rhutenkharmese is

or how Janis got into that coffin.

- Unless you do. - Of course not.

What else were you doing during the lecture

when you went to the gentlemen's?

Sorry, are you expecting someone?

My lawyer.

Knock, knock.

Only me.

Thank heaven.

I am indeed the answer to your prayers, Gordon.

What is it, old chap?

You called me in the middle of a squash game.

- Hello, Dennis. - Hello, Detective.

What an absolute pleasure it is to see you

in this wondrous and opulent abode.

Now, I understand the topic of discussion

is my client's ablutions.

And being a man of more senior years,

some things take a little longer than they used to.

And the sarcophagus is the stone container

that houses the suhet...

There's always a sense of urgency,

surrounded by a long wait.

22 minutes?

And if it was a bad curry, then...

A curry?

A curry? No one mentioned a curry.

Was it spicy? Well, that was foolish.

That will cause you no end of discomfort.

Dennis, if there was a curry

he'd hardly be inclined to indulge in supper,

which is exactly what a witness has your client doing...

And with that, supper is served.

Mm. Not half bad.

Though not quite up to your usual standard.

That was a bold move.

Especially after a run-in with a curry.

There was a curry?

Alright, alright!

Right. Ah...

Detective. A word with my client.

Yeah.

I'll admit my client hasn't been completely forthcoming

on what he was up to on the night in question.

- No kidding. - I don't kid, Detective.

Not around mental health issues, as you know.

There was no functional trip to the bathroom.

Instead, he escaped,

as he often does during those tedious lectures,

into a private indulgence.

So it's a... a fetish?

It's therapy.

10 minutes of "La Wally," and he feels like a new man.

And he was back in time for supper, so no harm done.

But we have been privileged

to have Rhutenkharmese lie with us all these years.

And with that, supper is served.

If this is true...

It is true. You have my word.

Why didn't he simply just say from the get-go?

I mean, it's not illegal.

It's quite weird. But it's not against the law.

Gordon's remaining family members

have warned him several times.

They've threatened to remove him from the board of directors

and cut off his income stream.

Now there's only thing worse than a crazy old rich man,

and that's a crazy old poor bastard.

Gordon is simply a well-respected businessman

with a penchant for idiosyncratic behaviors.

Isn't that right, Gordy?

This is simply a minor transgression

from a man with curious predilections.

Yes, I think so.

What did you mean by "not up to your usual standard"?

Sorry?

About the supper?

The girl usually does vol-au-vents

and a seafood Mornay.

A rather nice way to finish off the evening.

Nothing wrong with a good vol-au-vent.

But she didn't make much of an effort.

Sausage rolls. Rather dull.

Not to mention the asparagus sandwiches were half frozen.

Belt tightening, no doubt.

Daphne Richards is on the bones of her behind.

Even though my client made a very generous offer

in the purchase of Rhutenkharmese,

sadly, she couldn't see it through.

Now, if we are done here, I can still make twilight golf.

You should've seen Mike's face

when that call came over the radio.

He was stunned.

Looked like he'd been tasered, actually.

But, my friend, I had your back.

I thought, "No, I can handle this, I'll calm him down."

So I offered to make him a coffee, and he was like, "No."

Maybe he didn't want coffee.

When has Mike ever said no to a coffee?

Well, when...

...he's had his quota.

You know this'll be a punishment, right?

He'll be tucked up inside by the fire,

with a glass of Merlot

while we're out here on a frozen tundra.

I spy with my little eye

something beginning with "N."

- Nighttime. - Yeah.

I spy with my little eye something beginning

with a person dressed in black with a wheelbarrow

moving stealthily through a cemetery.

Okay, that's not actually how the game works.

Hey! Wait!

Hold it there. Police.

So this is Rhutenkharmese?

In a manner of speaking.

They're the remains of someone who was meant to become her.

Did Bobby take much convincing?

I bury people, not dig them up.

You have done nothing for me, or for Fennella.

Not a dollar. You are going to help.

You need your head read.

If you do this, the slate is clean.

Otherwise, I'm coming after you for 20 years of it.

That's called blackmail.

No, Bobby. It's called child support.

He picked one of the older graves.

Better chance of authenticity.

What about the actual remains of the mummy?

There never were any.

My grandfather arrived home with an empty coffin,

but such was the interest

he realized he could make money off it.

So he created a story

and built a whole museum around Rhutenkharmese.

From what I've read, there never was a person of that name.

But for nearly 70 years, no one's been any the wiser.

However, when Gordon bought her,

I knew he wouldn't be able to resist looking inside.

Such an odd man.

So I knew there had to be some vestige of a human.

Well, surely Gordon would know he'd been duped.

We covet what we want to believe to be true, Detective.

But if he did expose the remains as being 2,000 years too young?

I would have blamed the three clowns who moved her.

Johnny Oades has a police record.

It would have been entirely believable

if he had interfered with the coffin.

Though you didn't expect him to actually do it.

I put the remains in the suhet.

But not Janis.

If you didn't put Janis in,

that would imply that someone else did.

Not imply. Prove, surely.

Then how did you come back into possession of the remains?

That's what I'd like to know.

Well, perhaps if he gets a payout,

he might like to send some of it my way.

Someone was onto me.

I just wanted to put them back where they came from,

as if nothing had happened.

I've only just covered the bloody thing in!

20 years, Bobby.

I'll dig it.

But you're filling it!

It's like trying to get Pandora back in her box.

So, what happens now?

At the very least, you'll be charged with interference

of human remains.

The Egyptian coffin laid empty in Broken wood Museum

for 70 years.

A con job on the public.

Daphne Richards, having knowingly sold an empty vessel,

placed the remains of "Gwen 1919" inside

before dispatching to Gordon Godley,

hoping he'd be none the wiser.

Meanwhile, Janis and Johnny planned to abduct

who they believed to be Rhutenkharmese

to ransom to Gordon, replacing it with a dummy.

But before they could do that, somebody...

Presumably the offender... Removed Gwen 1919...

And hid her in Daphne's car...

That same somebody incapacitated Janis

and placed her inside the coffin instead.

Okay.

Gordon was being ripped off by two parties...

Janis and Daphne.

Well, Janis was the target,

but was it meant as a message for Gordon?

Or was it simply a convenient way to dispose of a body?

And by placing the remains in Daphne's car,

was someone trying to frame her?

So, Daphne was in the meeting room.

Abigail went into the kitchen.

Gordon went to the maritime room to indulge in some role-playing,

as corroborated by Fennella.

Mm, who supposedly went to clean but was out of the room

for a good half an hour while supper was served...

Enough time to switch the bodies

and stash Gwen in her mother's car.

True. But why?

Whoever put Janis in that casket

must've known there'd be a stench in a matter of days.

Suspicions raised, police get called...

"Hello, Gordon, um,

why is there a dead hooker in your Egyptian coffin?"

Maybe the offender didn't care.

Or maybe Gordon planned to bury her later in the garden.

Yeah, honestly, Gordon is a sad individual,

quite deluded, but harmless.

I mean, the most worked up he got was about

the lack of vol-au-vents and half-frozen asparagus rolls.

Why were they frozen?

I don't know. You'd have to ask homemaker Abigail.

I'm sure she'd have some tips.

Pull down the bottom, and push the top up.

You look very smart, Rhys.

Yeah?

No one's ever said that before.

Big day with your mum's funeral. I hope it goes well.

I reckon it's gonna be a special day.

Totally, dude.

Burying your mum is always special.

I was hoping to catch up with Abigail.

Oh, she's downtown picking up some last-minute-thing thing.

Why?

I was wanting to ask her

about meeting Janis at the Snake and Tiger.

Did they get along?

Oh, yeah, it was... It was real nice.

Totally, bro.

Although Janis was being her usual self.

What's she doing here?

Oh, Mum, uh, this is Abigail. My, um, my girlfriend.

Hello again. Stuck to Rhys's shoe, are you?

Auntie Janis could be pretty direct sometimes.

It was just her way of saying

Rhys and Abigail seem really tight.

Yeah. That was mum's way.

"Again." She said "again"?

I understood that was their first meeting.

Pretty sure they'd never met before.

I mean, Abigail would've said something.

Actually, the real reason I came...

I was wanting to know the brand of sausage roll

that Abigail prefers.

They're quite something.

You and me, man.

So good.

You look flash too, Frodo.

Thanks.

J.M.'s Special Savouries.

Hey, I reckon if you come to the wake, there'll be plenty.

I might just do that.

Got a new friend?

She weighs 55 kilos. Same as Janis.

Developments?

Afternoon tea first.

Time to give me a lecture.

So in conclusion, it's my belief that country music

causes more divorces in Western populations than any other genre

due to its persistent themes of doom and gloom.

- Done? - Done.

22 minutes.

Ah, ah, ah! We've got a funeral to get to.

Auntie-Mum was a really, really great tennis player.

She loved tennis.

She was very aggressive,

which worked to her advantage most of the time.

She was always the life of the party at any given time.

Didn't expect to see you here.

I always like to come to funerals of people

I have worked on.

We become very close.

Bobby, after this, you and I are going to have

a little chat about subsidence.

She was an awesome God-Auntie-Mum,

and although she could be quite scary sometimes,

she had a heart of gold.

Or maybe more like lead. You know, hard but soft.

Thank you, Frodo.

Clearly, Janis was well loved by many,

though it seems most of those couldn't be here today.

And now, Rhys?

Uh, thank you, Mum, um, for leaving me

to my own devices all the time,

yeah, so I can discover the world on my own

and forge my own path.

I reckon I'm destined for some destiny now, yeah.

Thank you, Rhys.

Now we'll sing Psalm 23... "The Lord Is My Shepherd."

- Let us sing. - Oh, my favorite one.

Uh, one final tribute to my mum.

This morning when I woke up, um,

Abigail asked to marry me, and...

He said yes!

Um, do you think you could do the honors?

It... It would mean a lot to my mum.

Uh...

What a delightful idea, but it's not that simple.

You'd need a marriage license.

Got one earlier. And rings.

Rhys and I thought that this would be a nice way

to turn a negative into a positive.

- Way to go, Rhysie. - That's my boy.

I'll be a grandfather soon. I can feel it in my loins.

Well, yes, um...

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today

to witness a... A sacred ceremony...

The union of Rhys and...

- Abigail. - Abigail.

With great reverence, we come together

to celebrate the love and devotion

of these two children of God.

Do you want to get this show on the road, or...?

Just waiting to pick my moment.

If anyone has cause to object to the forming of this union,

please speak now or forever hold your peace.

- Okay, that'll be it. - Yeah.

Ah, uh, I do have one thing, Reverend.

Rhys...

You need to know that Abigail

is about to be charged

with the murder of Janis Oades.

- No way. - Excuse me?

We know you had easy access to the drugs that killed Janis.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Well, you knew where Johnny's stash was kept.

♪ Now I have tried a thousand times ♪

♪ To think about that day ♪

♪ Now I could find... ♪

You had a clear opportunity to administer it.

♪ Time won't pause ♪

♪ The demons claws will always bleed you dry ♪

♪ You take time here, it takes time from there ♪

♪ At you live it till you die ♪

I've got to see a man about a thing.

Peace offering.

God loves a trier.

And I never refuse a free drink.

I've got to get back to work.

I'll see you at home, Rhys.

Hope to see you again, Janis.

Boys.

You had about 15 minutes before Janis became incapacitated.

You said you drove directly to the museum

to prep the supper, yet strangely enough

the asparagus rolls were overly chilled,

which suggests they were prepped earlier.

And...

...there were no vol-au-vents.

Switching sausage rolls in for vol-au-vents

meant you had time up your sleeve

to lie in wait for Janis...

...until she succumbed.

Then all you had to do

was wait for your window of opportunity.

...actually called a suhet

and was usually made out of sycamore fig.

The sarcophagus is the stone container that houses the suhet.

Once you had those sausage rolls in the oven,

you had precisely 22 minutes to execute your plan.

Sorry.

"Sorry" is just a five-letter word, Janis.

Not good enough. Not good enough at all.

And with that, supper is served.

That's how it happened, isn't it?

But why Daphne's car? What had she ever done to you?

I tried Johnny's first. It was locked, and I panicked.

When exactly did Janis become a roadblock?

As my Nana said... Roadblocks are only blocks in the road

that need to be removed for happy motoring.

From the moment I met her.

You're cutting it fine. We're about to close.

I'm only here to see that crusty old mummy.

$10. Thank you.

And please fill out the visitor's book.

I'm only gonna be five minutes.

Still. It's policy.

Actually, I'll pay cash.

"Oades"? Janis?

That's my name, don't wear it out.

No, hi, I'm Abigail.

Oh, you know your own name too.

Do you want a round of applause?

I'm sure Rhys mentioned me.

No.

We go out together.

How do you manage that? He's in jail.

Not for much longer.

- Yeah, I heard he's getting out. - I'm so excited.

We're having drinks at the Snake and Tiger.

Oh, I know. Johnny told me.

Rhys.

He made his bed, he can lie in it.

But not with you.

Doubt you're his type.

Rhys needs love and support, not detractors,

not from his own mother.

I'm sorry. I think we got off on the wrong foot.

"Sorry" is just a five-letter word, girl.

It's no use to me.

The thing is, Rhys and I get on so well.

I have our future together all planned out.

We can tell you about it at the pub.

I know your type, missy.

Needy. Looking for someone to save.

I just wanted to...

Life's not about what you want.

Life's about what you need.

Rhysie needs to stand on his own two feet,

not have some mousy little girl like you trying to fix him.

- I'm not trying to... - He can't be fixed.

He was dropped on his head as a baby, maybe.

Don't know.

Something went wrong.

Part of me thinks, "Oh, my bad."

Then again, what can you do?

Except keep the parasites like you away from him.

You're not welcome in my family. And you never will be.

How could she not love you, like a proper mother?

I'm so confused.

She was destroying you with negativity.

Can you finish our wedding, please?

Abigail Phoenix...

No! We're not finished!

No, you need to come with us down to the station.

Now.

Will you write to me, Rhys?

Yeah.

♪ But instead you hit the crack pipe ♪

♪ Mamma's gonna see you right, baby ♪

You understand what happened, Rhys?

She killed your mother.

The thing is, I-I didn't actually write those letters.

Oh, no, I think... I think she knows that.

I'm sure there are many things she doesn't want to face.

♪ So you come home a broken man ♪

♪ Skin and bone and empty hands ♪

♪ But mamma's is gonna see you right, baby ♪

♪ Mamma's gonna see you right ♪

In my line of work, I've heard a lot of confessions

but nothing quite like that.

Marrying Rhys.

That was a real "Screw you, Janis" from Abigail.

- More than killing her? - More poetic.

I've never been to a funeral wedding before.

First for me, too.

Marriage.

Remind me never to go there again.

Um, well,

that would usually involve being in a relationship,

so there's little chance of that, right?

I'm aware of that.

Did he just insinuate that...

There's a new Mrs. Shepherd waiting in the wings?

- Nah. - No. Not in a million years.

Tami Neil son's "One Thing" playing...

♪ Whatever kind of box they put me in ♪

♪ I'll still be laughing, baby, sink or swim ♪

♪ There's only one thing making me brand-new ♪

♪ There's only one thing, and that thing is you ♪

♪ Uh-uh ♪

♪ Uh uh uh uh uh-uh ♪

♪ Uh-uh ♪

♪ Uh uh uh uh uh-uh ♪

♪ Uh uh-uh ♪

♪ Uh uh uh uh uh-uh ♪

♪ Uh-uh ♪