Original subtitles

Excuse me, do you think I could borrow that?

- You mean-- - Yeah.

- Just for a second. - The powder?

I'll give it right back.

Hello, Barney.

I bought you a present.

Cute.

I bet your mother's got her hands full.

Is she making this the social event of the season?

Take this slug to the Jupiter Club.

Now, come on, I'm sorry. El?

Sorry about that. She's just working through her anger.

El, wait a minute.

Hey, El, very impressive.

I really mean it. Where'd you get this temper?

I've been wanting you to lose it for years.

Have you shown it to Billy or your mother yet?

I'll make you a deal. I will give you a ride

if you will totally change your personality.

For how long?

Is that your security blanket?

No.

It's nothing.

Come on, El, how long you gonna stay mad at me?

It's been four years.

It's been 27 years.

You can see already.

Merry Christmas. Irene.

Merry Christmas, Mr. Rusher.

Merry Christmas to you, too, Ollie.

- Merry Christmas, Ollie. - Okay, Billy.

I'll keep mine on. I got some surprises.

Hi, guys. Hold up your plates.

Bread, stay right there.

We just have two debates left...

- Oh, thank you. - You're welcome, Mrs. Gilbert... Myra.

Myra. Yes, please.

Oh, yes, thank you, James, definitely.

Here we go. Merry Christmas.

Oh, yes. Get one of Myra.

She's our guest.

Oh, sorry. Merry Christmas.

Oh, sorry.

What are you doing here?

I could ask you the same thing.

You saw what I was doing.

Do you believe in fate, destiny?

No, I was just hiding from my mother.

Oh, you mean the one who looks like a refugee

from an opera company?

She's not that bad.

What, are you a damsel in distress?

Don't worry, "dis dress" looks great on you.

I'm new here, I don't know anybody.

Could I meet you?

Of course. But first...

I couldn't possibly.

Not for you. Sh. Come on.

Walk naturally. Right in here. Hurry.

We gotta hurry up, because they're gonna

be in here any moment.

It's beautiful!

This is your decoration.

I've gotta make a little stop over here

by the portrait. I've always wanted to do this.

Sh!

Didn't know I could play.

There you go. Merry Christmas, Dad.

Now come over here.

The stockings were hung on the Christmas tree with care,

in hope that St. Nicholas would just stop...

Come on, drape it.

Haven't you ever decorated a tree before?

Now one more thing this needs

is Mrs. Santa Claus. Isn't she beautiful?

There you go. God, that's what it always needed.

All right, come on in, everyone.

What?

- Do you remember-- - No. We're here.

How was he at the end?

He wasn't in any pain.

He asked for you.

Don't say that, El, please.

Don't... say that.

We're due at the mortuary in 45 minutes

for a family-only viewing,

and then it's back here for the service at noon. Ollie.

Aren't you gonna wait for me to change?

Why, are you going to?

Then why did you come meet me at the airport?

Obviously just another exercise in futility.

Oh, Ollie, could you call Mr. Rusher a taxi, please?

Yes, Mrs. Rusher.

Or you can come with Billy.

- Barney. - Hey, Ollie.

I'm so sorry about your father.

I know.

Oh, uh, I figured you'd need this.

Oh, come on. The old tie rule is still in force?

Mrs. Rusher's only liberating the women.

You men are on your own.

That's the cream of mushroom soup I spilled in 1958.

So what's the deal? Is Billy staying here?

- Haven't you heard? - Huh?

Your brother moved back into the club.

She kicked him out.

- She didn't tell you? - Uh-uh.

Hello, Bill.

Glad you could see fit to make it, Barney.

Hey, in view of the occasion,

could we play bury the hatchet, at least for today,

now that we're both orphans.

What hatchet?

Skip it.

You're not seriously going to wear that to Dad's funeral, are you?

Is nothing sacred to you?

Hey, this is a loaner tie

to get me to my room legally, all right?

Can I hitch a ride with you to the mortuary?

No problem.

No problem.

Can I ask you a question that's been on my mind for 20 years or so?

Would you have even looked twice at Eleanor

if it hadn't have been for me?

Make your point, Barney.

Did you marry her because you knew I loved her?

How unworthy, Barney, even of you.

But true, right?

If you look deep down into your heart,

or in your case, your heart cavity,

you gotta admit it's true.

- You want the truth? - Yeah. - The truth is,

it was never any fun competing with you for anything, Barney.

You were too easy to beat.

Don't jump.

Dis dress looks great on you.

Thought I might find you in here.

Where else?

Mother thinks you should join the family.

She's not my mother.

No, she's my mother, and she's your father's widow,

whether you like it or not.

Why did you kick Billy out of the house?

People are arriving.

Does that mean there's a chance for me now?

Barney, this is a funeral.

I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me.

I guess I'm just at loose ends.

Mother's afraid you're going to make a speech.

Don't you just hate it when she's always right?

No speeches, Barney.

We're just going to sing a few of your father's favorite hymns, that's all.

"A Mighty Fortress Is Our God."

Whatever.

Billy will play it on the piano,

and we will sing it, and the minister will speak,

a few club members will speak briefly,

a moment of silence and, bang, we hit the bar.

- Okay. - Good.

- Tell your mother I'll be brief. - Barney!

What's she afraid of, that I'll do something

to screw up my own father's funeral?

- Frankly, yes. - Is that what you think, El?

Any time we have had any sort of family gathering

here for the last 30 years, you have done your best

to embarrass, sabotage, or mock it.

Because of you, El.

Everything I've ever done is all because of you.

You should've chosen me instead of my nice, straight little brother.

Don't you dare blame me for the mess you've made of your life.

Fine. I'll just blame you for the mess you've made of yours.

Just don't make that speech.

Still jumping when your mother claps, huh?

God, I'm sorry, but I thought

I saw a new spark of independence in you earlier.

I guess I was wrong.

You can't speak; you're not a member.

I'm a member.

Your father had you blackballed.

I am a permanent member of this damn club.

I've been trying to resign for 30 years,

they've been trying to kick me out for 30 years.

It just can't be done. You know why?

It's against some fundamental law of nature.

Once you're in, you're doomed to lifetime membership.

Right?

And this room, this is the holiest of holies.

The sanctum, the castle keep.

Barney, grow up.

Is Billy gonna speak?

Mother asked him to say a few words.

I knew it.

Here's the thing, babe.

I've got something written down here,

and I'm gonna read it, all of it, out loud, out there,

so you run and tell your mother that,

like the dutiful little daughter you always were,

still are, and always will be.

Barney?

Barney, Barney, Barney.

Once again, I am obliged to excuse myself

from a pleasant occasion

in order to deal with my eldest son.

Come down here, Barney.

It seems to me that your whole interest in this world

is to interrupt those few rare moments of social intercourse

which we manage to create for ourselves.

Now what is the difficulty, Barney?

Look at me!

I'd really appreciate an answer.

I don't have an answer, Dad.

You've been disruptive

from the very beginning.

You were even born in the middle of a dinner party.

Your mother had to leave before the dessert.

I'm sure you ate it for her,

or did you even notice she was gone?

Dr. Russell told me

the first thing you showed to the world

was your rear end,

and you've continued to show us very little else.

The historical record is replete with examples.

Nursemaids in tears, cooks packing their bags,

cleaning women cowering in corners

while you covered them with your BB gun.

I tried to civilize you.

I sent you to kindergarten,

first thing you write is a four-letter word.

First thing you draw is the male member.

On Winnie the Pooh.

I send you to parties, you pin the tail on the hostess.

You're a good student,

but you flunk history because all you'll study about

is riots, revolutions, and Franklin D. Roosevelt.

And now, this.

Do you consider yourself a man or a boy?

I consider myself...

in the middle.

I see.

And which do you wanna be for the rest of your life?

A man.

And which do you think

you've been this evening at the Christmas party?

- All right, I was a boy. - A boy.

A baby. Your younger brother is out there playing the piano,

acting twice your age.

My friends have suggested that...

you miss your mother.

I do.

So do I.

I know you do, Dad.

Sometimes...

I miss her so much, I almost...

lose control.

- Why don't you? - What?

Lose control.

Why would I want to do that?

Maybe it'd be good for you.

I fail to understand what benefit can be derived

from losing control.

You certainly put it to no useful purpose.

- Maybe I'm just bad. - Nonsense.

You don't know me, Dad.

Well, it's not too late to repair the damage.

You can apologize.

All right, I apologize.

Out there!

You mean make a speech?

You're my eldest son, and you've got to answer for it.

Whose names are on these walls more than any other?

- Yours. - Ours.

Who was the first president of this club?

My great-grandfather. I know, Dad.

I know who shot that moose in Wyoming,

and who dragged those poor fish

out of some lake in the Adirondacks,

and whose name is on this damn tennis cup.

Why, Barney? Why do you scoff?

I don't know, okay? I don't know.

Well...

are you going to apologize?

No.

Why not?

Because I can't, okay? Not to them.

Then you will stay in here until you can.

Merry Christmas, Barney.

I'll never apologize. Never.

Do you hear me?

Never!!

All right, I told her.

What?

Mother. That you were determined to give a speech,

and now I'm going to give you a little speech.

- Look, El-- - No. Just shut up and listen.

After this day is through,

after we have put your father to rest,

quietly or unquietly, I'm through.

I am leaving Boston.

I've spent my life running back and forth

between you and Billy and my mother and myself,

and maybe you were born to this, but I wasn't.

- I can't wait to get the hell out. - Is there another man?

No. Why is that the only thing you men ever think?

- Another woman? - Nuts to you, Barney.

Abandoning the family, El, that's very modern.

I am not abandoning my family.

You're a fine one to preach, aren't you?

Whose heart are you gonna break now that your father's dead?

How did we ever come to this, El?

All I've ever done is love you.

Maybe that's the problem.

Maybe you should've done something else.

Don't jump!

Don't jump?!

- Are you all right? - I'm fine.

- Do you need some help? - Did they catch you?

No, no. That was very gallant of you

not to turn me in.

That's me, Robin Hood. Saving damsels in distress is my specialty.

- Want a hand? - Desperately.

I mean to get inside.

I never thought I'd see you again.

What's your name?

Eleanor Goldberg.

- Goldberg? - I mean Gilbert.

- Why'd you say Goldberg? - We changed it.

- Are you Jewish? - No.

My dad said anything ending in "berg" is Jewish.

My father's Jewish, but my mother made him change our name to Gilbert.

So we got a Jew in the club.

No, he's in Harrisburg.

- Harrisburg's Jewish. - Stop.

I'm not sure, but I think this is love at first sight.

Has that ever happened to you before?

Oh, I, I... no.

It's great, isn't it?

I'm just visiting for the holidays.

Oh, that's even better.

Tragic, star-crossed lovers like Romeo and Juliet.

What's your name?

Oh, no, if I tell you that, we're doomed.

I told you my name.

Oh.

- Rusher. - Rusher?

Rusher.

Am I supposed to know that name?

Are you serious? You've never heard of us?

Then we were destined to meet.

Oh, good. Why?

Sh. See, when I was a child,

an old gypsy woman placed her finger between my eyes,

and prophesized that I'd marry the first girl

who had never heard of the house of Rusher.

That's you.

What's that?

The house of Rusher, that's this.

My ancestors are plastered all over these walls.

Is this just the immediate family?

Wit. She has beauty and wit.

Oh, thank you, gypsy woman.

Listen, you and I have to get to know each other intimately. Come here.

Come on. We haven't much time.

Could we continue this conversation out there?

- No. - Oh, please.

Why do you wanna go out there?

Because of my mother.

She wants me to meet people my own age,

and I wanna show her that I have.

- I'm not a trophy. - Oh, no, I didn't--

- I can't. - But why not?

That old gypsy woman, she put a spell on me.

If I go out there with those people,

I'll bleed to death.

You better come with me. Come on.

- Where? - We're gonna go to a movie.

There's this neat little movie theater in Cambridge.

It just shows classics.

Tonight, they're showing Robin Hood with Errol Flynn.

Can you believe it? That's gonna always be our movie.

Come on.

I'll give you just five more minutes.

Excuse me, young lady,

but this boy has just five more minutes.

Is that your father?

No, it's just someone I pay to tell me the time.

Come on, let's go out the back way.

If anyone tries to stop us, I'll run 'em through.

- You got any money? - No.

Eleanor, there you are.

What are you doing in this musty old room?

I... I...

The boys are out there, Eleanor.

Boys and parties happen to occur around pianos and people.

I know that, Mother.

I'm just shy.

Oh, that's part of your charm, darling.

You just don't realize it.

Then how could you, sitting around Harrisburg,

playing chess with your father? Now come, have fun.

Could I just stay for another minute?

No.

Now, chin up.

Shoulders back.

Smile.

Ah, pretend you're having a perfectly marvelous time.

- I can't pretend, Mother. - Of course you can.

That's what growing up is.

Now you go out there and stake your claim.

I've decided to stay.

You mean for supper?

I mean for good.

Here in the city.

What about Daddy?

Well, uh...

I... I finally decided to do it.

I am going to divorce Myron Gilbert.

This visit was a trial separation.

I have tried, and I am separating.

I am tired of seeking out

every second-rate bridge group and garden club

and church supper, looking for some sense of connection.

Never again.

Not for me.

And certainly not for you.

This is it.

What is?

This club.

This is the real thing.

And that is why I paid $63

for your velvet dress,

and why I want you out there

by that piano with everyone else.

We are going to stay here,

and I am going to launch you,

and you are going to pick and choose,

and marry a man and know what it means

to be happy for the rest of your life.

Mother.

Oh, my darling.

My precious.

I must find the salle de bain,

and adjust my face.

Okay, Mother.

That was a joke, right?

You staged that for my benefit.

I mean, no one says things like that

unless somebody else writes it and gets paid for it.

Don't make fun of my mother.

I'm sorry, it's just so easy.

Now's our chance, let's go.

- I can't. - Why not?

- I just can't, that's all. - Because of her?

What are you afraid she'll do, string you up by your thumbs,

or take away your allowance? Come on.

Now's your big chance. Freedom.

Live life.

Oh, darling, I know my decision to settle here

must be a big shock to you.

It is. It really is, Mother.

But Eleanor, Eleanor, you are my whole life.

Everything I do is for you.

You are all I can depend on to make me happy.

Come along, darling.

No, Mother, let's go this way.

- Are you all right? - Yes, really, I'm fine, Mother.

There's someone I want you to meet.

Did you happen to notice the young boy playing piano?

- Billy?! - No, Mother.

He's an absolute dreamboat,

and I hear his father is Charles Rusher,

who practically owns this place.

Come on!

♪ Come and behold Him ♪

♪ Born the King of angels ♪

♪ Oh, come let us adore Him ♪

♪ Oh, come let us adore Him ♪

♪ Oh, come let us adore Him ♪

♪ Christ, our Lord ♪

Bill, Bill, I want you to meet someone.

Myra?

Charles, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Eleanor.

I'm glad to meet you. This is my son Bill. Bill Rusher.

Hi, Bill.

- May I? - Please, be my guest.

- You play? - Well, just a little.

You play very well.

♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪

♪ Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la ♪

Anybody but Billy!

♪ Troll the ancient Yuletide carol ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

- Hi, Muffy. - Hi, Muffy.

I'll get you something to drink if you like.

Oh, no, this is great.

Hi, Dan.

I'm in seventh heaven now.

Oh, Bill, so silly.

No, I really am.

Surrender the dame and no one gets hurt.

Take a hike, Billy.

Barney, why don't you grow up?

I claim this woman by my right.

I'm the eldest son, the heir apparent.

If you're so suave, how come you don't even know how to cut in?

Because I know only one way to cut in, buttercup,

and that way's kinda permanent.

Barney.

Dip.

El, do you wanna tell him where to go, or should I?

The tango is a secret shared only by two.

One, two, three, you're out.

Barney, I was dancing with Billy.

You and I had this date from the beginning, Blanche.

Barney, would you let go?

No, come on, I got a bone to pick with you, lady.

Come on, Barney. Barney, let me up, please.

Why are you going to Bermuda tomorrow with Billy

for the rest of spring vacation?

Who told you?

- The word got out. - Who?

Word got out, El.

Whoever told you is a big, fat stinker.

You're right. It was your mother.

She said I could just stop telephoning you after today.

Is that what you want?

I just wanna go to Bermuda.

A whole bunch of us are going.

She said you organized the whole damn thing,

and you never even asked me. Why?

'Cause I knew you wouldn't wanna go.

Damn right I wouldn't wanna go.

Frolicking around that crummy island

with a bunch of superficial Ivy Leaguers.

You see? You see the way you are?

Was this your mother's idea?

No, it was mine. I do think for myself sometimes.

Oh, really? Do you really? Do you?

I worked all summer on the Cape to pay for this.

Who do you think's paying for Billy?

I don't know, and I don't care.

- I know; my father's paying for Billy. - So?

So he'd never pay for me.

He's mad at you 'cause you flunked out of college.

I didn't flunk out of college, I left,

because they wouldn't let me on their stupid fencing team.

I don't blame them. You wanna do it like Robin Hood.

Hell, who wants to just stand there?

You know how they make you stand?

You gotta put one foot here,

and one foot here, and then squat.

You can't move in this position, El.

I just wanna go to Bermuda and have fun.

Please, El, come on, stay here with me.

There's nothing to do, Barney.

What are you talking about, nothing to do?

Snow's gone, there's no more skiing.

We could go ice skating.

We could take walks on Beacon Hill.

We could eat ice cream at Brigham's,

and God, we could just be together, El.

Boston is so beautiful.

God, it's like a lantern for lovers

in the forest of the world.

Come on.

Come on.

Tonight's the night, El.

For what?

It.

It?

It.

Where?

You mean it?

No, I just mean where.

Come on, come on.

In here?

Yeah, this is our room, El.

Can we have the lights on?

Okay.

The dance will be over soon.

That doesn't matter. We've got all night.

Says you, you don't have to go home to my mother.

Neither do you.

El, I've thought this thing through completely.

Billy will think you got tired and I drove you home.

I told my father that I'm staying over at a friend's house.

I called your mother, told her Billy's car broke down,

and you're sleeping over at Lucy Dunbar's.

- You called my mother? - I was very polite.

You shouldn't have done that, Barney. She'll suspect.

No, she won't. I was brilliant.

So you see,

everyone will think we're someplace else.

Maybe we should wait till after Bermuda.

That way, we'd have something to look forward to.

I won't be here when you come back from Bermuda, El.

I was drafted today.

Drafted?

There's a war on. I may never come back alive.

Oh, sure.

I knew you wouldn't believe me.

Do you want to take a look

at a draft notice? Read this.

Oh, Barney, what have you got to do?

What any coward would do.

Join the Navy and pray the ship keeps moving.

See, that's why I don't want you going to Bermuda with Billy.

But it's all planned.

Life isn't about plans, El.

It's about taking risks.

It's about following your heart.

Follow your heart, El.

Follow.

Follow.

Follow.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I smuggled all this in this afternoon.

Barney...

I'm gonna put Bermuda to shame.

Now come here. Come here.

Look.

Oysters.

Oysters?

Smoked oysters are supposed to be terrific for sex.

- How? - And voila.

Châteauneuf-du-Pape.

Compliments of Pop.

And...

we are going to drink it...

out of this.

The holy grail.

Actually, it's the citywide

Mixed Doubles Invitational tennis cup

that my mother and father won in 1956.

Oh, Barney, you're crazy.

You're a big, dumb nut.

You are so beautiful.

Oh, Barney.

You are.

Oh, El, don't go. Stay here with me.

Oh, Barney, it's just a week; it's no big deal.

It's a week, El. If you go with Billy now,

while it's still easy to say no,

you're gonna run with that crowd for the rest of your days.

El, come on.

Don't let fear run your life.

What am I afraid of?

Your mother.

I'm a lot closer to my mother than you are to your father,

and you're just jealous.

I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

I just don't know what to do.

Hey, listen.

When in doubt, dance.

Oh, Barney, you make everything seem so simple.

I love this bush music.

Oh, shut up, Barney. Just shut your trap for once, please.

I think it's time we slipped into something more comfortable.

Huh?

- What's this? - Look at it.

Barney.

Barney.

Barney!

It'll look great on you.

What are you doing in there?

Just... just change, El.

I'll be right there.

I can see the moose through this.

This is the night, El.

This is our night.

Okay, here we go.

Barney, the dance is breaking up.

Don't worry.

I'm so confused, I don't know what to do.

Come on, El, stick with me.

Mother always says when I'm confused,

I should think about what I want most.

Eat some oysters.

What I want most is...

is to get my eight hours' sleep,

and to go to Bermuda and lie on the beach with Billy,

and the whole gang, and to play tennis,

and listen to the Whiffenpoofs at the Elbow Beach Club.

You want Whiffenpoofs,

or a real man?

Oh, my.

Bermuda's for beginners.

This is the pro shop.

I'm going to Bermuda, Barney.

I love those people.

You're bad for me.

I'm bad for you?

Yeah, Mother says so. She says you're a beatnik.

A beatnik? She called me a beatnik?

Yes, and she's right.

Whenever I'm with you, I get all mixed up.

Eleanor, your mother spends her time

reading scouting reports on divorced investment bankers,

and memorizes opera plots.

How can you listen to someone who thinks

all that stuff is important?

You're too much for me. I wanna go home.

I want the key.

Barney.

If I can't have you, I'll never have anyone, El.

Eleanor, are you in there?

It's me, Billy.

No, Barney, get dressed.

Only if you don't go to Bermuda.

Eleanor darling.

It's your mother. Are you all right?

Barney, why did you call her?

- Get dressed! - Bermuda no? - Bermuda sí.

- Barney! - Dad?

Barney, this is it. This is the end.

Do it, Charles.

I'm coming in there, Barney.

Stand back, everyone.

I've got the master key.

Oh, God. Thank God.

All right, go home, everyone.

I'll handle this.

You see what I told you.

Car breaking down, my eye.

Barney.

Remove that tablecloth when I'm speaking to you.

Okay, Barney, what's the story?

I got drunk and took a shower

and passed out.

Eleanor found me and locked the door

so I wouldn't get embarrassed.

You don't believe that, do you, Dad?

And my smoking jacket--

how did that happen to be here?

Billy, why don't you drive Eleanor home?

If she prefers to be with Barney,

I really can't persuade her otherwise, Mrs. Gilbert.

That's very mature of you, Billy,

but under the circumstances, I think you should just do it.

Why don't we fight it out on the tennis court like men?

What is your problem, Barney?

All right, that's enough. Both of you.

Perhaps it would be better if Eleanor went home with her mother.

Uh, yes, yes.

All right, yes.

Come along, Eleanor.

Why don't we let Eleanor decide?

Billy, would you drive me home, please?

No, El, don't.

It's not what you think, Barney.

Yes, it is. This is your life.

It's the turning point right now.

This moment, it's your wake-up call.

- Come with me and I'll dodge the draft. - Barney!

At least I can get a student deferment.

You know what you can get...

Let's go before this gets any more ridiculous.

El, El, please.

Have a wonderful time in the armed forces, Barney.

"Have a wonderful time in the armed forces, Barney"?

Now...

- Barney. - I know, I know, Dad.

Go into the bathroom and put on my clothes, right?

And take off that smoking jacket.

- Oh! - Later.

I don't think we heard the entire story, Charles.

There was obviously some hanky-panky going on,

but I think it's safe to say

that we... nipped it in the bud.

Well, you were right to telephone, Myra.

Oh, well, I just hope I didn't wake you up.

Uh, no, I was, uh...

- reading in bed. - Oh.

Oh, well, so was I.

- Really? - Yes.

- What book? - You'll laugh.

No, not at all. Tell me.

The Black Rose by Thomas B. Costain.

Am I hopelessly middlebrow?

No.

Actually, it's quite risqué.

Is it?

Yes, it tries to paint an accurate portrait

of what went on in the Middle Ages.

And what did?

I won't tell.

Well, I imagine whatever went on then

still does.

Oh, Lord, yes.

Absolutely.

Hurry up in there, Barney.

Of course, now, with all the confusion,

I doubt if even a good book will do it.

Do what?

Put me to sleep.

We can't wait any longer, Barney.

You'll have to get home by yourself.

Okay, smile for me, please.

That's good. Great, thank you.

One more, please. Good.

Okay, fellas, come on, help me out here.

Okay, say money.

Money!

Would you girls like some cake?

- Yeah. - Oh, good.

Right there, guys.

All right, one for you.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

There you go.

Get a fork right over there.

You can finish now. Thanks.

Hi. Hello, George.

Eleanor.

All right, Barney, I've done it.

I've married Billy, and we're going to be happy.

Eleanor.

Hello, Charlie.

When do I get a chance to dance with the bride?

Oh, any time, any time at all.

What are you doing out here?

Eleanor?

I was looking for Barney.

Barney?

I know, it's silly--

Eleanor, sweetheart, Barney's in San Francisco.

I know, but I thought he might just arrive.

Oh, how could he? The Navy wouldn't let him.

Ship leaves for the Far East today.

It's his second tour of duty.

He's decided to make a career of the Navy. You know that.

I know, and he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize his career,

I mean, now that he's found one.

I just have this awful feeling.

- I have the same feeling. - You do?

That he might turn up?

I wish he would.

Don't you dare tell anyone I said that.

- You do miss him. - Of course I do.

I won't get a decent night's sleep until this insane war is over.

Have you ever told him that?

No. Somehow, we always seem to get sidetracked.

Yes.

Oh, Charlie, have I done the right thing?

Well, of course you have.

It's just wedding day jitters.

I hope that's all it is.

Eleanor, you see this cup?

My wife and I won this cup in 1956.

Our names are right there.

I know. Someone showed it to me.

Eleanor, I tried to win this cup

every year after we were married,

and we never even came close.

Then in 1956, we won it hands down.

Do you know what allowed us to win?

No. What?

We found our rhythm.

There wasn't a point we played that we weren't in tune.

It was absolutely exhilarating.

Sounds ideal.

Ah, it was.

It was so ideal, I've never married again.

That's sad, Charlie.

No, not really.

I can think about it, remember it,

see it in others; I see it in you and Bill.

Our game has its problems.

That's what I'm saying; you need to practice.

But someday, you and Bill will have your names

right here on this cup.

Do you think Barney will ever have his name on it?

I used to hope so.

Maybe he doesn't want to win.

Not at mixed doubles anyway.

There you are.

Guess what just arrived?

What?

A wedding present special delivery from Barney.

Oh. I'm delighted he's remembered

his manners on one occasion anyway.

You won't say that when you hear what it is.

I took the precaution of opening it.

Why? What is it?

A picture frame.

What's wrong with that?

It's what's in the frame.

What?

His picture.

Well, that's touching.

A picture of Barney.

In his sailor suit?

In his birthday suit.

Barney sent as a wedding present

a picture of himself nude?

Full front. 11x13.

In Kodacolor.

Good Lord!

- And... - And?!

- How do I say this? - How do you say what?

He had a great big white bow tied around his...

Dinghy.

Oh, God.

Oh, God!

Oh, thank heaven he is a million miles away.

That's what I told Eleanor.

Well, that's what I told those two sailors at the main entrance.

Sailors?

They looked like sailors.

They had leggings and arm bands,

and cute little nightsticks like policemen.

Myra, that's the shore patrol.

What are they looking for?

For Barney.

Oh, no.

Oh, no!

Charles.

Lovely party, isn't it?

Oh, Harriet, I love your hair.

Hi, Gil.

Okay, baby.

One more peep outta you, and I'll plug ya.

Okay, I want you to call your daughter, all right?

Oh, Barney, please, don't do this.

Do it. Can you see her?

- She's dancing with Billy. - Call her.

Yoo hoo. Yoo...

Tell her you're drunk, you're sick, you've got the whirlies.

- Eleanor dear, I need your assistance. - That's good.

Please leave her alone.

Let her be happy.

She'll be happy with me.

She is married, they have furniture. They have linens.

Great. She won't have to change the monogram

since Billy and I have the same last name.

She loves Billy.

Barney!

Eleanor, Eleanor, he has a gun.

Oh, Mother, it's not a gun, it's a branch.

No wonder we're losing the war.

- Leave us alone, Mother. - Eleanor.

I can take care of this, Mother.

Eleanor, please.

Tell Billy that I'm fixing my dress. Period.

Fine. All right.

Bravo. When did you learn to stand up to your mother like that?

What are you doing here?

I went AWOL and grabbed a plane.

- Let's go. - AWOL?

Yeah, I got a rented car parked at the service entrance,

aimed at the turnpike. Will you come on?

Barney, I'm married to Bill.

That's fair enough. Billy gets the wedding, I get the honeymoon.

Come on.

You're supposed to be on some ship, you're a deserter.

Oh, no, I'm a conscientious objector.

I object to Billy, and so do you.

What about your career?

El, you are my career.

We'll drive all night, El.

We'll change clothes, change lives.

We'll cross borders.

Get away from me.

I wanna kiss the bride.

Oh, I do love you, Barney, I do.

Where have you been? Why didn't you come sooner?

Come on, Charles, hurry up.

I'm right behind you.

Young Lochinvar out of the west.

About to sweep the bride off her feet?

- We were just leaving, Dad. - No, you're not.

Yes, we are, right, El?

Eleanor.

Nobody is leaving, Barney, except you,

and you are leaving by the side entrance

where the shore patrol is waiting to fly you back to your ship.

Shore patrol?

Two of the nicest boys. One's even a Negro.

I'm going my own way. Stay back.

How did the shore patrol know how to find you, Barney?

I'll bring them in if I have to.

No, wait, please. How did they know, Barney?

I don't know.

I mean, how did they know to come here,

right here to this club?

- Did you tell someone you were coming here? - No, I...

You did, didn't you? You told everyone.

- Your captain, your buddies... - I didn't tell my--

You probably wired President Nixon

and said, "Help, send in the cavalry at the last minute."

Okay, I might've told one guy.

You left a trail a mile wide.

You made sure you couldn't get me,

because you didn't wanna get me.

- How can you say that? - 'Cause you're terrified of getting me.

That's not true.

Okay, Barney, you can keep on playing Robin Hood,

and have your merry shore patrol men

rush in here and ruin my wedding,

or you can get the hell out of here quietly.

I'll go quietly.

Good-bye, Dad.

I'll call someone in Washington.

We'll get you off with a light punishment.

Good-bye, Mrs. Gilbert.

Frankly, Barney, I think it would do you

a world of good if they put you

in the clinker, or the jug, or the mess,

or wherever it is they put you in.

Good-bye, El.

Good-bye, Barney.

I still love you, El.

Get going, Barney.

I do.

I think you and Billy should get dressed

for your wedding trip.

Don't look so sad, Eleanor.

Next time you see Barney, he'll be just another member of the family.

That's what's so sad.

Has this child already been baptized or no?

No.

We have prayed that our Lord, Jesus Christ,

would receive him and to release him from sin.

Doest thou therefore, in the name of this child,

renounce the devil and all his works?

The vain, pomp, and the glory of the world,

and the sinful desires of the flesh?

I renounce them all, and by God's help,

will endeavor not to follow nor be led by them.

Doest thou believe only the articles of the Christian faith

as contained in the apostles' creed?

Uh, yes, I do.

Wilt thou be baptized in His name?

I just was.

I mean, I will. I mean, that is my desire, yes.

James is absolutely the most active baby.

He gets into things I didn't even know he could get into.

It's incredible, it really is.

See, nothing's changed?

Except us.

Nine years.

It's a long time.

Come on in. It won't bite you.

We haven't had a chance to catch up.

- Shall I, uh... - Just leave it in case.

In case what?

Oh, in case the baby needs me.

Oh.

I really appreciate your coming all the way from San Francisco.

Hey, for my own godson? You kidding?

I guess, though, as far as Billy's concerned,

this one's a write-off with me as godfather.

Well, let's just say he's cautiously optimistic.

- I'll bet. - Come sit.

I'd rather stay mobile. Thanks.

Same old Barney.

You look marvelous. The California sun.

You look fine, too.

Ugh, me, I'm a cow since the baby.

Well, since three babies.

I'm two sizes larger upstairs.

- Lucky baby. - Now, now.

Lucky Billy.

I said now, now.

Why'd you ask me to be the godfather, El?

Oh, I don't know.

My third child, probably my last.

I guess I thought that someone in my family

ought to have a connection with something outside these walls.

That's why I came back.

I needed some connection inside.

I thought...

Do you wanna deal with...

He just needs changing.

Bill will get it. He's terribly helpful.

- Terribly. - Don't start.

- Barney. - He likes it.

So tell me all about you. It's been so long.

Well... after the Navy,

I finished college on the G.I. bill.

I know that.

I want to hear all the gory details.

Did you have a chance to sow your wild oats?

The Navy was eons ago.

I know. Well?

I tried. I tried.

I'm sure you did.

Hint, hint.

I got married.

Barney.

Not legally, but it was like marriage.

She was Vietnamese.

I lived with her whenever we were in port.

We even had a little house.

Well, what happened?

I wanted to bring her back.

I went to the embassy, filled out papers, everything,

but then...

I chickened out.

Because of your father.

Because of you.

Oh.

I'll never love anyone else.

Honey, please.

I can't... I don't know what to do with him.

He wants you.

Come on, James, please.

Oh, sweetie, what's the matter?

- Oh, big boy, come here. - I need a drink.

Cheers.

Oh, Mommy's here.

Yeah, Mommy's here.

Oh, my big boy, huh?

Yeah.

Oh. Oh, don't cry 'cause you look at Uncle Barney.

Look, look. Oh.

Hi, Jimmy.

- Let's go see Uncle Barney. - Hi, big guy.

You wanna go to Uncle Barney?

Oh, his face lights up.

Hi, little guy.

Jimmy.

Is he supposed to look like Winston Churchill,

or is that just me?

It's okay, sniffle, sniffle.

You wanna see a real healthy tongue?

He needs a nap.

Ground zero.

Yeah. Walking puts him right out.

You're just tired.

I'm like that, too, without sleep.

Watch out now.

Okay, look, his eyes are going up.

I think he's about ready to go to sleep.

- El, did I tell you-- - You don't have to whisper.

I'm going back to Berkeley.

Why? You already finished school.

I'm going for my PhD.

- In what? - The Middle Ages.

The Middle Ages?

I'm gonna focus in on the idea of courtly love.

What is that?

There was a whole movement of men back then

who were in love with married women.

And what did they do?

They worshiped from afar.

Didn't they ever just come around?

Not much.

Why not?

It was too dangerous.

Barney, Eleanor.

Charlie.

I'm sorry to interrupt, but I've just had to call the police.

- Police? - There's trouble.

Old Mr. Sidley went down to take his afternoon dip,

and what should he find but three naked Negroes

and a Jewess, all splashing around

- in the pool. - They're my guests, Dad.

They're your what?

They gave me a lift from Berkeley.

They were hot, and they hadn't bathed in four days, so...

Welcome home, Barney.

Eleanor, I wonder if you'd phone the police,

tell them we were mistaken.

Yes, all right.

- Barney. - Sir.

I would like you to go down to the pool,

and ask your guests to put on their clothes

and come up to the main room,

and lift a glass to my newest grandson.

I will see that they are made comfortable

because they are your guests,

and the cardinal rule of this club is hospitality.

All right.

And then, I'm going to do something I should've done

ten years ago.

I am hereby blackballing you, my eldest son,

from this club.

You will no longer be welcome here.

I wish you well in Berkeley,

I hope you come home now and then to visit.

You are my son, after all,

and I love you, but when you return,

you may not, repeat, not come to this club.

We will go out to a restaurant.

We will be shown to a dirty table

in a dark corner by a cheap woman who chews gum.

After an endless wait, she will bring us watery cocktails,

crackers wrapped in cellophane,

call us "honey,"

and serve us lukewarm coffee

with the main course.

That's what democracy is these days,

and that apparently is what you want, and I'm sorry.

If that's what you want, I'm sorry, too.

It's not what I want, Barney, and never has been.

But I can't change what I am,

and you can't accept it.

Excuse me, there's a phone call for you, Mr. Rusher.

Take a message, would you, Ollie.

I've just started my soup.

It's from your son.

Tell Billy I'll call him later.

The other one.

Oh.

Charles, your soup will get cold.

Excuse me.

Thank you, Ollie.

Ollie, would you please cover Mr. Rusher's soup?

I'll keep it warm for him, madam.

There you are.

What on earth are you doing in here?

Well, what did he want?

Money again?

Yes.

Hm. For bail again?

No, he wanted seed money for a business venture.

Oh, Charlie, when are you going to stop doing this?

He doesn't have a dime.

And whose fault is that?

He lost a perfectly good teaching job

because he was organizing the students.

To protest certain irrelevancies in the curriculum.

Oh, Charles, when is he going to learn to accept things

just the way they are?

I am suddenly very tired.

Well, so am I.

I am tired of your tearing yourself apart

over that boy.

I mean, he is simply de trop.

Oh, Charles, you have

a wonderful, hard-working son,

and a lovely daughter-in-law.

We have three very, very cute grandchildren.

- They tire me, too. - Charlie.

I mean it, I don't like going there.

Meals are noisy, the television is always blaring away,

all that endless talk about schools.

You are getting old.

Yes, I am.

And I want to be with people my own age.

Why don't we get married?

What?

Why not?

Well, I...

thought you were tired.

I am.

Let's lean on one another

in our autumn years.

Think about it.

Take your time.

I'll go see about the boy.

After long and careful consideration,

I accept.

Uh, we'll have a small, sober ceremony.

Just family members only, don't you think?

But I think we should have music.

We'll get people dancing.

Oh, remember, Charles?

♪ Heaven, I'm in heaven ♪

♪ And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak ♪

Oh, hell, let's have a party.

Oh, let's have a biggie. Oh, Charles.

Oh, Charles, yes!

Yes, yes, yes, yes!

Yes.

That's fine, dear.

You make the arrangements.

"You make the arrangements."

Why do I always attract such exhausted men?

Twenty-five by...

Nineteen and...

Three-quarters.

Mother, what are you doing?

I thought you quit.

I was just measuring this ratty old furniture.

I am going to put slipcovers on everything

I can lay my hands on.

Not this room, Mother, please.

Just leave this room like it is.

All right.

You're the boss. This is your day, after all.

It's not just mine.

Well, you fought for it.

It's all because of you that women now have the run of the club

every Thursday.

- We all fought. - You were the leader.

So why aren't you out there enjoying it?

I got bored.

Well...

Why don't you go bowl or play golf

or something?

Hey, better yet,

go out and meet the new members.

You just can't run away from the whole shebang.

If Charlie knew you were hiding out in here,

when you fought tooth and nail

for women to be out there, he'd have another heart attack.

He didn't even call me.

Who?

Barney.

Eleanor...

I sat by the phone all morning.

He didn't even call.

He was at the hospital seeing his father.

He still could've called.

Well, he's a very busy man now.

Or so he says.

Anyway, I cannot stand around here

sympathizing with someone who did not receive a telephone call

from a crazy brother-in-law.

I have been sitting around hospitals for weeks.

I'm gonna try my hand at

And one thing's for sure.

He can't come back here.

He's blackballed.

May I help you?

No, I'm just looking.

Are you a new member?

No, I'm not actually.

I'm a guest.

But I have a member.

Hi, beautiful.

Barney!

Dad told me it was women's day,

but faint heart ne'er won fair lady.

Well, it worked. It really worked.

I'll say. One of the waiters made a pass at me.

- Hi. - Hi.

Listen, can I take these off? These heels are absolutely killing me.

Look at these clothes.

They must've cost a fortune.

They did. I'm rich now.

Ranching must not only be romantic, it must pay well.

Ranching?

I always knew when you finally settled down,

it would still be adventurous.

Oh, that's right, ranching.

No, I'm not a rancher, El.

I did own a ranch for a little while,

but that was just speculation.

- Speculation? - Yeah.

See, what I do is, I buy very large tracts of land,

usually pristine, unspoiled wilderness,

and then I just sit back and wait for the developers

to pave a path to my door.

Oh.

Also, I buy old buildings much like this one

for the pleasure of tearing them down.

In my spare time, I play the stock market.

You see, I have this compulsion

to see how much money I can make.

I'm between planes at the moment, so come on.

Fill me in all about you.

- Oh, me? - Yeah, you.

Dad said you're the high priestess around here now.

Oh, I do my bit.

I've got a part-time job.

Hey, doing what?

Family counseling.

I went back to school like everybody else,

and now I'm an expert at keeping families together

on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

Are you any good?

I'm great at solving

everyone's problems but my own.

So how was Charlie?

Alive, so to speak.

Thanks to the wonders of plastic tubing.

The doctors say he'll be fine. He just needs to slow down.

He was trying to eat a steak, El.

What?

For lunch.

Every time we ever went out to dinner,

that was his order.

New York steak, medium rare, lightly charred.

But this was one of those, um,

gray pieces of hospital meat.

I asked him if he wanted me to cut it for him,

but he was too proud to have any of that,

so there he was,

cutting away with his shaking hands and...

The thing is, when he went to eat it,

he forgot he was wearing his oxygen mask,

and his fork kept hitting it.

So he'd move it aside, and then he'd eat,

and put it back,

and I knew he'd keep forgetting it, you know,

and he just kept...

I just sat there.

I just... I couldn't move.

I couldn't say a word.

Oh, Barney, it must be so hard for you

to see your father like this.

Yeah, well, that's the way it goes.

It's okay.

How's Bill taking it?

I trust in his usual stride.

Not missing a step.

I've got a vacation coming up.

I thought I might come visit you.

What?

I'd like to come visit you.

Visit me?

Yeah, for a few days.

Maybe a week.

What, you and the whole gang?

No, no.

Just me.

Separate vacations are good occasionally.

I've learned that much.

Last year, Bill went duck hunting, and I...

He went duck hunting.

Let me tell you something, El.

While you were learning about separate vacations

and duck hunting, you wanna know what I was learning about?

I was learning that it's hard as hell

to stay away from home

when you're in love with your brother's wife.

You didn't have to stay away.

I wrote you many times to come visit us.

"Visit us"?

That's terrific.

You expect me to stay downstairs in the guest room

while you and Bill are upstairs doing it

to late-night television?

Bill's never up that late.

And I can't seem to get any sleep.

El, do you have any idea

the amount of time I've spent in therapy

trying to make peace with this,

trying to figure out a way to just be friends with you.

Friends?

Friends? What, are you disappointed?

You expected more?

What do you expect, do you expect to just

fly out to California for a fun-loving weekend

with your old brother-in-law?

Get those home fires burning,

then fly back to the nest here?

- Barney, please. - What's the matter with you?

Are you sick and tired of the swinging suburban scene?

What do you people do here, I forget.

You go in, throw your keys in the center of the rumpus room,

and then go home with whoever picks them up?

- You think I would do that? - I don't know, do you?

Or maybe you got something different going

with those suburban sisters out there in the main room.

Equality of the sexes, friend.

Time was when this might've ended in a kiss.

What makes you so noble?

You chose the wrong guy, El.

You sold yourself short.

Oh, and you. What about you?

At least I preferred the challenge of going my own way.

Bulldozing the wilderness?

What did you think, that I was Albert Schweitzer

- or Woody Guthrie? - Yes.

Some sort of mythic folk hero,

fighting the good fight like Robin Hood?

I don't believe what I've done.

To think I kept myself going all these years

thinking about you.

Wondering what you were up to,

dreaming of you out there missing me.

So it's good-bye then, huh?

Yes, good-bye.

I don't wanna look forward to your visits anymore.

There's no point to it.

We should've done something about us

a long time ago.

Yes.

What a large woman that was.

She's from out of town.

Uh, Billy's on the telephone, and he wants to know

what time he should put the pizza in the oven.

Tell him I'll, uh...

Oh, Mother, I don't wanna go home.

Eleanor.

Eleanor, my baby.

Oh, baby.

Its okay.

Oh, it's okay.

I'm seeing this place for the last time.

Come on, Dad, you're just having a bad day.

What brings you home this time?

To see you, Dad.

- Do you need money? - No.

You're not gonna get any more money out of me.

I don't want money, Dad.

- You in trouble? - No, I'm fine. Free and clear.

- Sit down. - I'm okay.

I said sit down. There.

Yes, sir.

You going to see Eleanor?

- No. - You sure? - I'm sure.

Thy shalt not covet thy brother's wife.

Thy neighbor's wife.

Doesn't matter. Nobody reads the Bible these days anyway.

You've been badgering that poor girl for 25 years.

It's over, Dad.

She chose Bill.

I know.

You lost, Barney. You lost the game.

Now get off the damn court.

Do it. We're not fooling around here.

They're having... problems just now.

I don't want you taking advantage.

I'm going, it's all going.

The club's going, did you know that?

I heard.

On the market. Nobody wants to keep it up anymore.

The waiters steal, the pool leaks.

Up for sale.

Won't be the same, will it?

What do you care? You never liked the club anyway.

- I always came back. - Only to make trouble.

- Not always. - Always.

Not this time, Dad, I--

Oh, here it comes.

What do you want?

I'd be delighted if you finally figured that out.

I want your blessing.

You know the story of the prodigal son?

Man had two sons, one good, one bad.

The bad one comes home, and the father kills the fatted calf.

Even after all the trouble he's caused.

That father was a fool.

Bill gets the fatted calf.

He needs it.

He's got three children.

He's been at the wheel all this time.

Fine. I'm with you.

All you've ever done is break up the party, am I right?

- Am I right? - You're right.

- Why? - Why? - Yes, why?

I'd like to know.

Before I die.

I'd really like to know.

- You're not going-- - I am dying, and we both know it.

One thing there's never been between us,

God knows, is the sparing of feelings.

- Let's not start now. - Right, Dad.

So... why?

I blamed you for Mom's death.

Your mother's death.

I thought you mistreated her.

You were formal and distant.

She needed something else.

Barney, your mother died of cancer.

I didn't say it was rational.

That idiotic notion...

I'm trying to explain. Will you listen? You listen to me now!

That damn tennis championship

you always go on about.

That damn trophy you won.

You understand that you remember it

because it was the only time that you and Mom

were ever in sync.

But Dad, that was the aberration.

That was the exception.

You know, you never saw her.

You never saw me.

I saw you, Barney.

I've seen you all your life.

You're a person who didn't wanna play

by the rules, because you didn't like them.

I understood that.

I just never approved.

Is that what you want now, my approval?

No, Dad, I want your blessing.

Your acceptance!

I don't want you to approve of me.

God, I'd be disappointed in you if you did.

Just accept me, Dad.

Can you even look at me?

Can you wish me good luck?

Okay.

Okay, fine. Thanks anyway.

Barney.

There's a psychiatrist at the club.

Jewish fella, you'll be happy to know,

who once told me that the trouble with the world

is that everyone is trying to kill his father.

Do you agree with that?

No.

And, he said,

if I understand him correctly,

that that's what you've been trying to do

your whole life, trying to kill me.

Dad, no, please.

Did you really come here just to see me?

To see you, Dad, I promise.

Why wasn't it different between us?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know either.

It's odd.

It's very odd.

Um, I'm very tired.

I'll take you back.

No, just leave me here.

Myra will come for me soon enough.

Good-bye, Barney.

Thank you for stopping by to see me.

Good-bye, Dad.

Now we really are ready to begin.

Mother says all right already.

You can give your speech.

Just keep it brief and respectable.

Barney.

I can't do it.

I'd stand up there and cry like a damn baby.

Oh, Barney.

You do it.

- Me? - Go on, I'm staying in here.

Oh, come on, Barney.

This isn't a speech, it's some sort of document.

It's a deed.

- A what? - A deed.

It's a deed; I bought this place.

You what?

I bought it, the whole damn place.

- It's mine. - But what for?

I don't know.

I thought, uh...

I wanted to give it to the old man.

I think it's fabulous.

It's dumb.

No, no, it's a terrific thing.

It was dumb. I'm a dumb clown.

All my life, making faces in front of a mirror.

I'm still doing it,

and the mirror isn't even here anymore.

I think it's terrific. I'm gonna go out there and tell them.

Fine, you do that. And while you're at it,

tell them to clear their smellies out of the locker room.

I'm gonna have this place torn down.

Tear it down?

You wouldn't do that.

What else am I gonna do with this damn thing?

I don't know.

I mean, what would Robin Hood do?

Oh, come off it, El.

No, no. What does he do at the end of the movie?

- I don't remember. - Well, I do.

He wins this great contest and gets his castle back.

And then what, sits around and pays

huge property taxes to the sheriff of Nottingham?

No, no, he lowers the drawbridge,

and he opens the gate, and all these people rush on,

they're singing and dancing all over the place.

- Oh, sure. - No, it's true.

And you have the feeling he'll turn it into a wonderful place

and Maid Marion helps,

and they get together and start the Renaissance.

I thought you were leaving.

- Where are you going? - None of your business.

- And what are you going to do? - None of your business.

- I.E., you haven't a clue. - I.E., none of your business.

I have a life of my own, you know.

I've had jobs, I've--

El, I didn't bring the shore patrol with me this time.

There's no seventh cavalry waiting for me

in the wings to rescue me.

Why should I believe you?

Why? Because everything I've ever done was for you.

No, it wasn't for me.

It was for your father.

Well, he's gone now, isn't he?

I'm free, El, and so are you,

just like we were right here in this room

twenty-five years ago,

before your mother came in and put the screws to you.

Remember?

Just what do you two think you are doing?

There happens to be a funeral going on.

I'm sorry, Mother.

Oh, Eleanor.

My precious, my baby.

Once again, once again, it's just the two of us.

Oh, you are all I have now, my darling...

Ready for another 25 years?

I think I went mad three minutes ago.

Eleanor, I need you.

No, Mother, you don't need me.

You're a big girl now, you can take care of yourself.

Well.

Not only have I lost a husband,

but it seems I am to lose my daughter as well.

What can I say?

Bravo.

Congratulations.

The mountaintop at last.

You were great.

Yeah, great.

You know you're my whole life, El.

You're the only good, decent, solid thing

I've ever had.

That's who I am, you know.

A person who loves you.

Oh, Barney.

We never existed outside this room.

We never once left this room together.

If we did, we'd go up in smoke, we'd vanish.

We have to try.

Come on.