Original subtitles

this is a great idea

[Music]

stop it no

stop stop

titling

no

[Music]

no no

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

so

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

right

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

all right all right done deal assuming

you take the whole lot

yeah

all right hey listen uh next time you're

in town let's have a little lunch say hi

to cindy and the kids

take care

come here

i'm chiquita banana and i'm here to say

this came for you when you was on the

phone today

[Music]

the smell of sex and success

make it driving me crazy well what is it

baby

you mean you didn't look

of course i looked but i still need

strong intelligent mr ashton to explain

it to little old me

just something from some college buddies

and just some guys i used to hang out

with

he called ourselves the watchers oh i

bet i know what you were watching

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

rough day oh

not bad how about yours my computer

crashed and i lost a lot of work that's

bad

hey i have an idea

why don't

i cook we can put the kids to bed early

i'll run you a little warm bath

give you a massage

okay

oh

this came today

oh is that thing finally gonna happen

how long have we been talking about that

you interested

i have so much work to do

[Applause]

well if we didn't need the money yeah i

know

let's do it anyway

come on the weekend will do us some good

is that the phone number to the cabin

i didn't think they had a phone that

worked out there

besides you're forgetting about our

brood

grandma

grandma

peter it's me again you know your sweet

little freshman the one you've got

nothing going on with

well she filed sexual harassment charges

today

peter

what the hell is going on call me damn

it oh

[Music]

you're right todd this is great

so what time does opie show up you've

obviously brought me to mayberry

sarcasm

melissa from you

see that guy on the porch back there

he'd be kind of hard to miss

that is henry carr a finer human being

you'll never meet all right if it wasn't

for him

let's just say my life would be

different

you and i probably wouldn't have met

well excuse me mr mckellar that changes

everything

well i think i'll just mosey my little

self right over there and thank him for

making my life what it is today

[Music]

excuse me

[Music]

little lady i wouldn't be thinking you'd

need any excuse

you're just about the prettiest little

thing i've seen here about since

sometime

i

doubt that

don't be doubting that we got ourselves

plenty of college girls

but a real full-fledged woman now that's

rare got a letter from her sister last

week said you're not got yourself

married

is that a bad boy

that's the gospel and this lovely lady

is none other than mrs todd mckellar

melissa melissa stein mckellar

but my friends call me missy and i'd be

pleased if you do the same yeah i'd be

right please too

okay um well then henry

i was wondering if i could use your

powder room

powder room

todd where did you get such a refined

girl

honey the powder room was just inside

the right

okay thank you

hands off

[Music]

oh my god

i didn't mean to scare you deary but you

look so lost

know that that man's ghost

don't worry about him he's just like a

little kitten

but he does have a tendency to sometimes

creep up on you now henry you see those

rims yeah two thousand dollars for the

set

yeah you pay that money then i pull up

in the parking lot and some idiot pulls

up and scratches this is the ghost i

mentioned

he scares hell out of folks but he's

really harmless

nice to meet you ghost

don't take it personal hell i had to

sneak up on him

he just showed up about dinner time and

we haven't been able to run him off

since

now

this is a real treasure the black

nazarino he came all the way from the

philippines

touch him and you're filled with the

holy essence

my

you have an unusual aura

it's like electricity

it's

coming all over you

hissing and sizzling like a snake

hey how are you

how are you

i don't know i haven't heard check this

out superstar hey get this friend of

mine who played

[Music]

here

i want you to have this

god has touched it it has great power

but you have got to have faith

faith is the key to everything

oh

andy i am so glad to do this

hold on to this and it'll protect you

i'd like to go now if that's all right

[Music]

yeah andy carol

one over here this is my lovely and

talented wife melissa

welcome to the family

[Music]

you guys aren't gonna start without us

all right

[Music]

[Applause]

please

[Music]

[Applause]

look i don't know about the rest of you

but

i'm hungry enough

eat a horse

well no but

any beautiful woman who comes too close

do you remember our special place where

you first kissed me

yeah i remember

i'd give anything to have that feeling

again

kiss me like you used to shelly come on

this is not the place for this

this is the perfect place

[Applause]

[Music]

so

i'm standing there right and this weird

guy sneaks up behind me and just appears

there and when i finally see him he

scares me so bad i almost paint my pants

that's a ghost henry said he's some mute

who stumbled in here one night and never

left he's harmless but weird definitely

weird and then this spooky old lady

sneaks up behind me taps me on the

shoulder tells me that i've got a weird

aura and starts whispering incantations

did she take you to the secret shrine

that was the weirdest you saw the lord

let me tell you he's back there biggest

[Applause]

i'm so life to see you yeah are you

hungry yeah yes we're surprised really

good cooking

give me a little kisser

i should call myself gypsy wrong today

she's wound up titled an eight-day clock

hey henry what's with that table over

there is rosie giving seances again

oh

rosalie's trying to contact her brother

victor

he's

concentrated

[Music]

mac tell melissa about the black jesus

please

well rosalie's brother brought it back

from the philippines

now it's said that the original had the

power to heal

and this one was

blessed by priests and inherited the

gift tell her about the brother oh well

he vanished trying

to do

guys take it easy

that's him that's the co-present

okay okay guys i have a question

who staged this shindig we've been

talking about it for years but who gets

the atta boy or girl award you guys did

it no no we didn't i didn't know

my guess is peter

um

yeah yeah how is it

not me

ladies and although they're

no gentleman present

allow me to answer that question if you

will

please

forgive my late arrival but getting

darla out of the door is a full-time job

in itself so where is your new love i

had a room where else

don't start now i'm on a roll here all

right

peter metzker

lovely lady

and todd

um she really is lovely

yes she is so uh back off there hey hey

furthest thing from my mind guys sure

why don't you sit down with yourself

wait a minute this is my entrance so

don't spoil it all right

now seeing how the great peter metzger

isn't here to defend himself

i think

[Applause]

that this lovely lady

a full

explanation

dr peter so how he liked to be called by

his

admiring entourage was a

renaissance man

and he was possessed

or

he liked to think he was

with the idea that

mankind not any particular one but

mankind was destined for greatness

and it was his responsibility to lead us

there

[Applause]

but the real question is how many beers

have you had

did peter metzker

founder of the watchers

professional doctoral candidate

connoisseur of b movies

lead us

here

from our happy homes 10 long and weary

years later

and if he did

for what purpose

those are the questions you can decide

ladies

and gentlemen

[Applause]

[Music]

rosalie did you bring us some of your

magical tea

yes and it is magical too

a cup of the wind that blows from the

east

a sliver of salt from the bright eating

its foam overflows the brim

a handful of dust from whence you came

and returneth to the dust that you are

moonbeams from the light of the moon

fire

rosie please no more incantations okay

that wasn't an incantation

that was just a little protection for

all of you oh rosie dinner's on me

yes and he's the one that's going to

need protection if your credit card

don't clip

[Music]

i want you to know that i love you all

you'll like my children but there's a

strange aura surrounding this event

rosie rosie we love you too but quit

playing jean dixon yeah we're just out

for a quiet weekend in the country

good food

good friends

good

times

[Laughter]

[Music]

do you remember the seagull that ruffled

the feathers on the back of your neck

so you do now

it's a long time ago but i'm not be

forgetting

salt in the spray

you call into the gulls overhead

you remember the lassie with the golden

hair

she had eyes as dark as a night sky

believe she took a fancy to you

me as well

[Music]

evening friend

the fine night

so tonight it makes a man's soul crave

for adventure

it was a time ago but

because on a night like this we set sail

for the illusions

as fair skies till the morning turn on

us

should we want to know about the cabin

it's really as i said it would be

it's about time for him

[Music]

good to see you

[Music]

let's look around some first the luggage

can wait now

legend has it that a spirit roams these

hills but it's not bothering me

if you hear a bump in the night you just

ring this bell

and i'll come running

all right

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

oh gosh

this is so great

hey peter this is a great idea man

thanks for the invite yeah thank you i'd

love to take the credit great idea it

wasn't my idea i thought it was yours

not us we barely made it ourselves for

the man of mystery hey peter

well she's a proud old house style tesla

ship when the wind blows

the kitchen's in the back there's

bedrooms all around

the north room has a bit of a chill but

there's a heat over the window

she sure is told monday make yourselves

to home i'll be back later to see if you

need anything thank you thanks guys

thanks again see you later

[Music]

so peter how the research grants coming

slow

psych studies and bureaucrats don't mix

yeah money's kind of tight on our into

you know i would love for carol to be

able to quit her job but it just ain't

happening

fishing

what do you plan on catching up on my

sleep i guess i think so

hey phil what's up

i never forget a friend and i never

forget a favor

and this is

hundred 1500

from five years ago forget interest i've

forgotten it keep it i don't need it

listen it'll help with some research

seriously phil i don't need it no i'll

take it really

what's that professor's name the real

wacky guy that was pottwarf i think that

was no no carter car he was losing his

hands

yeah carter oh she was crazy what is

this 1980 meaning

meaning they're acting like freshmen

but i like it you're a dirty old man

todd

dirty

yes

but oh

my god speakers hey hold on there

anybody want a beer yeah i'll take one

uh no bourbon and coke for me hey you're

on your own for that one bud check the

kitchen okay i'll be back

carol kelly

natural

never tried it with the first one damn

near killed me give me drugs anytime

come to think of it though jennifer does

tend to sometimes zone out

well mac when i can even get him to

consider starting a family is very

adamant about natural childbirth

as if he gets a say in the matter

okay listen the next time he gives you

grief try this little experiment

tell him to take two of his fingers

stick them in the corners of his mouth

like this

then tell him to stretch his cheeks back

over his ears like this

that's childbirth

carol are you and andy happy

we have our fights like anyone mostly

about money

but yeah

we're happy

why

i think mac's having an affair

oh shelley no

[Music]

hi

oh hi

i'm just putting on my face phil mustin

on the way out

he's quite a character isn't he

don't you just love him we're going to

rio de janeiro just as soon as he works

out some things wow that'll be a great

trip

it's hard to sightsee flat on your back

you got a point

you want a bump

a bump

oh um

not this time thanks

well i do

well

don't let me interrupt you

i'm gonna go check on the guys i'll see

you later

bye

wait so you are telling me that if say

hitler were alive i didn't say hitler

well just for the sake of argument

though if he were alive today he would

be using gene splicing instead of death

camps come on that wouldn't be such a

bad idea i can't believe you'd say that

what would you rather some madman just

running around killing people that's not

the point so what is the point excuse me

gentlemen has anybody seen todd i think

he's out on the porch somewhere okay

thanks

god the point is who's going to decide

what's good or bad is it going to be a

doctor a prospective mother some

insurance bureaucrat trying to tell a

doctor how to treat a patient exactly

right exactly

[Music]

there you are

[Music]

it's beautiful isn't it

could go for a swim

yeah

i just want to soak up the night for a

while

it's a long way from the health club

that i'm thankful for

what's wrong

i don't know

i'm just

it's been a long day i'm just tired

hello the house

hi

i'm just checking back how's everything

perfect when the wind blows on a clear

night it's nearer my god to thee

[Laughter]

a little touch of sweetness in honor of

the ladies

now the wine could be older but then so

would we because the vintage is the year

of our graduation oh sentimental

so in honor of that auspicious occasion

i'd like to propose a toast

yeah what's it been so far

it's called introduction

the moment has come to pay homage to the

passing years

the gathering of old

new

and dear friends

to all of you

[Music]

this wouldn't be the same without one of

your stories yeah yeah yeah

captain i heard a rumor you might have

canned peaches in the cellar more than a

rumor ma'am a fact that you're saying

thanks you got the munchies again

she's

[Applause]

what's up with carol

pregnant

you're kidding me

dude you know what it is hey man my boys

don't shoot blanks

congratulations thank you very much

are you hoping for a little boy time

yeah

[Music]

[Music]

peaches and cream

okay now you can start all right

this is the tail of an angry sea

with the wind blowing hard

and the waves white his phone crashing

across the deck

it was on such a night

that a small troller was trying to find

her way home

and the captain was fighting with all of

his might trying to keep her bow into

the wind

but the crew in the captain could see

the rocks coming everywhere closer

and though they were bathing like mad

men

still she took on water

and after a while

a great wave come crashing across her

deck and broke her back

passed in all aboard a drift into the

dark sea

now after a while

the captain woke up on shore

wondering how he'd come across the rocks

in one piece

so he thanked the virgin got up

and began to search for his crew

after a while

he come to an end on the side of the

path

he looked warm and cheery

so he goes in to inquire about his crew

there were swabs sitting all about

drinking their railing

telling tales of the sea and such

the innkeeper was a great brite man with

a huge smile and a belly to match

so he draws the captain a flag in a veil

and inquires as to why he is out on such

a night

but the captain tells him about the

storm

and the crash upon the rocks and how he

is searching for his crew

would that be your crew says the

innkeeper pointing to a fire table

the captain turns

and sure enough

each of his men in turn

lift their glasses and greeting to him

again he thinks the virgin

the innkeeper says

what port might you be sailing out of

portsmouth says the captain

lordsman visits says ian keeper

would you know the hadley's

i do says the captain as many as sunday

night i have eaten mrs hadley's cooking

then you will know me says the innkeeper

for you mrs hadley's brother

samuel

it cannot be said the captain

for samuel was killed some years ago in

a mining accident

a cave-ins is the innkeeper

they never found my body

you see captain

that was my night to go

and this is yours

a little tale to sleep on

remember the bell

bring it if you need me

okay guys what's next a walk a movie a

discussion uh i think i'm going to turn

it early

but i remember the old movies oh we've

got all weekend for movies who's up for

darts

[Applause]

maybe later

for money

son you couldn't afford it yeah let's

go are those snakes oh it's much too

beautiful a nightmare

shall we

oh damn i i broke my heel

you guys go ahead we'll catch up in a

minute are you sure yeah not a problem

honey are you okay let me see can daddy

kiss it make it better

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Music]

oh

[Applause]

oh

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

oh that's it baby oh yes

oh

that's five bucks pay up

yeah yeah

tell you what their hot shot

what about

two out of three

i'm here until all your money runs out

are you gonna keep playing with all that

going on

are you jealous

no

embarrassed is more like it don't they

know we can hear them no they probably

don't care

anyway the sound of passion helps me

drive my point home

[Music]

what are you doing i thought you were

going to bed uh i couldn't sleep because

of the floor shift floor show

the floor oh yeah no i'm just making

some notes for a deposition oh god a

deposition i hate those

they scare the [ __ ] out of me nothing

like that it's just a little

misunderstanding

hey melissa you feel like taking a walk

yeah i'd like that okay

good luck

[Applause]

[Music]

honey i love you so much

[Music]

i love you too

[Music]

you know everything's gonna be okay

[Music]

i'm due for promotion pretty soon and

when that happens

maybe you could quit your job

my job's not that bad

i just worry about the kids and

the future and the money

it's gonna be okay

i promise

tonight

we got a little moonlight

we got a little name

[Music]

i heard you five minutes ago yeah right

right a minute we got you oh got me

you guys are missing the show oh you can

call it that show

they are going at it hot and heavy i'm

surprised you can't hear them down here

phil

[Laughter]

that's 10 bucks double or nothing

thank you

no wait wait i'm sitting there trying to

watch one of your stupid old sorry old

movies and the damn walls are shaking

and mac and todd are back there shooting

darts like they hear it every day

and believe me mac hasn't heard it in a

while at least not from me

mac and shelley are having troubles i

told her you'd talk with him

what did you do

oh damn carol i hope it's not broken

when i breathe hey todd

todd

yeah man what's up something carol broke

her ankle

are you okay well it's probably just a

spring but could you take a look at it

me it's bruised i was just where i say

i'm not really a doctor i just play one

on weekends don't make me laugh what

happened swelling carol twisted her

ankle it could be broken

arthur can you get some ice yeah sure

i'll bring it back it's no big deal

i think maybe we should just go into

town and find a doctor

i don't think we're gonna find an md up

this way

hey

i know a good vet that was close by oh

hey i've put on a little weight but i'm

no cow

do you want me to ring the bell and get

the captain no i'll let him rest i'm in

good hands with dr tom

dog

i'm no good with broken bones but i got

a sure cure for your hiccups what get a

giant gob of peanut butter and stick it

in your mouth

by the time you swallow it they're gone

it works every time that'll cure them in

a jiffy oh

peter do we have any peanut butter i

don't think so

what happened

to her ankle what happened to you guys

we thought you were going to catch up

decided to take a nap

darling was a little tired carol o'han

you want a valium hmm

tempting

but no

i want to be at one

with the pink

so phil where are you two headed

skinny dipping you wanna come

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

i still think we ought to get her to a

doctor yeah i'll be fine shelly why

don't you quit playing mother hen and

why don't you quit being so damn snippy

excuse me

if you'd like i'll make a call to the

campus doctor

maybe we should just all go home and try

this weekend another time shelley i'll

be all right and besides the last thing

i want to do is give up all this

pampering

i hope you're taking notes for when we

get home

really i'll go use the car phone see if

he's got any advice

okay

[Applause]

[Music]

daddy wants to play

look

it's darla

oh phil

oh

[Music]

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

fly back

yes

[Music]

oh

[Music]

oh

[Music]

[Music]

i'm a cigarette for you

yeah

i know

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

it's one of the movies that peter

brought you want me to change it yes

how's the ankle hurts

how's the movie

cheesy

carol if i mix a little ethyl glycol

with the ice shelly everybody knows you

have a chemistry degree

fine

i just thought that a little ethyl

glycol would help if that's all right

with you

oh hey guys take the gloves off okay

it's my ankle and i think it's a

brilliant idea well there ought to be

some around here somewhere

melissa would you take a look and see if

you can find any okay what am i looking

for ethyl ethyl glycol

that's cleaning fluid i'll get it all

right

and i'll check the basement

[Music]

just how bad are there problems she

thinks he's having

[Music]

[Music]

either

hey man where'd you disappear to no

thought i'd take a shower well did you

reach the doctor

um

he said take two aspirin and

follow him in the morning what did he

say peter he said it sounded like a bad

spring you know keep some ice on it keep

it elevated she needs to take a couple

pain pills okay

let nature take its course pretty much

so if you guys don't need me i think i

am going to hit the rack

see you in the morning baby

well

me too

it's been a long day

andy are you coming

uh actually i think i'm gonna hang out

and catch up

bye

[Applause]

todd you are drunk

yeah ready to go to bed

a little bit

oh i'll make it worth your while

i bet you would ready to play

okay

in a little bit i'm gonna go out and

look at the stars first

okay but i'll be waiting

okay

[Applause]

all right guys good night

oh that is a lucky son of a [ __ ]

what do you mean melissa

well yeah she's sweet but i mean his

connections

he made over a hundred thou last year

well he has always had the salesman's

gift yeah that's for sure

how are things with you and shelly

ah you have to ask huh

she thinks you're having an affair

did she tell carol that

yep

oh man

[Music]

oh boy

[Applause]

[Music]

hey hey

rosie scare you today

she's different

they say she's clairvoyant that she was

born with a veil

rosalie yeah she can be spooky sometimes

but

she has been dead on

great choice aboard

what you doing

tell the truth i am contemplating the

possibility of love that lasts a

lifetime

you and carol are a great match

you seem to um

have found all the answers so what was

your secret

actually i think we have

discovered all the questions

hey you know what

rosalie gave this to me today

she said it has the power to heal

why don't you give it to cairo

it's kind of pretty oh i think you

should keep it

i'm sure carol could put it to much

better use

besides i'm not much on superstition

but i'll make a deal with you

if it heals her ankle i get it back

indian giver deal right deal

well i don't know what to say

don't say a thing

good night

[Music]

yes

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

sleep well half a cup

ask me when i wake up

[Music]

breakfast

anyone's interested i am

that smells good

all by myself

it looks good

oh good morning good morning morning

terrible

[Music]

well i've got uh sausage and biscuits i

got some hot coffee and i might be able

to scare up some toast and jam just

coffee for me biscuits sound good

do you want us to take you into town

today

no let's just enjoy the day

who's up

well this is out back

uh i haven't heard from phil darling yet

surprise

uh what's max says

i don't know i slept out here

uh and todd

uh i haven't seen him

what the hell's going on

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Music]

hey phil is not in this room

[Music]

called the sheriff good idea right

[Music]

are you back

what's wrong

will somebody tell me what the hell's

going on

darla's dead

melissa found

her of a [ __ ]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

anybody see what happened

i don't know i just walked down she was

laying there

maybe she slept

that's a good idea i'm gonna go check

the room see if i can find anything

[Music]

hey open up

open up

[Music]

[Applause]

then when does cost money lad

friend darla she's she's dead i just

need to use your phone telephone company

cut me off a while back

me and gandhi haven't missed it much

though

somebody wants me they usually leave a

message at the restaurant

[Music]

somebody cut the wire on peter's mobile

and the captain's phone has been off

since january

i'm gonna go to town and get the sheriff

[ __ ] where are my keys oh here take our

car okay i'm coming with you okay let's

go

i really want to go home

well i found something that might shed a

little light on things

this is phil's briefcase

i also found this indictment

i think darla was murdered and as much

as i hate to say it i think phil did it

to cover up what she knew

she knew about what

about an embezzlement scheme that phil

was involved in darla too i thought he

just met her well apparently he knew her

long enough

she was his secretary and she's also

named in the indictment

it's like a [ __ ] episode of murder

she wrote yeah well there's more

when we first got here

i saw phil and peter arguing over some

money that phil had i think it could

have been a payoff oh come on man now

you're saying peter's involved oh wait

wait wait wait last night i saw peter

and he was talking into a little mini

recorder um

when i asked him about it he said it had

something to do with the deposition but

he was very evasive when i wait hold it

let's not jump to any conclusion well

it's obvious that something else is

going on

well

let's just wait until matt and shelly

get back with the sheriff then maybe we

can get some answers

[Applause]

mac what's wrong [ __ ] i don't know i

don't i just i'm not sure this is the

right way

do you think we should have turned right

back there oh hell i don't know

i don't know everything looks different

than it did last night honey i think it

was the other way

yeah

okay all right let's turn around

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

what the hell is this what now we got a

flat

[Music]

spare is flat

i'm gonna have to walk back to the cabin

all right let's go

i'm gonna cut through the woods and

you'd slow me down

sweetheart

i'm sorry

i don't want you to go back to the cabin

you'd be better off staying here

man i'm scared it's okay don't be just

you'll be okay here just lock the doors

okay

mac

i'm sorry for the way i've been acting

i love you

too

listen

i'm not having an affair

hey guys i think i found some proof

monday may 15 lecture notes current

research has shown that personality

disorders may not be genetically linked

but possibly a derivative of

circumstance

[Laughter]

subject a is a 34 year old male who

suffers from delusional episodes and a

persecution complex

so what does that prove i mean peter's

always had an interest in psychology

maybe nothing but listen to this though

this is an interview with subject a who

was describing a delusional episode in

which he felt he couldn't control his

violent impulses

built up beside me

and it was staring at my

my head i had to get on my [ __ ] head

it was i was gonna split

exactly what was that have to get out

this is iron man

desire

to have someone

to own them

to love them and have them turn away

from me like you were [ __ ] nothing

does anybody notice anything strange

it sounded like he was talking to

himself

exactly oh wait a minute that doesn't

prove a damn thing

i mean that could be some class notes or

a research project and it certainly

doesn't have anything to do with filler

darla

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

so

[Music]

where the hell am i

ah

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

you okay

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

god

turn it

what turn it off

who turned the damn thing back on

can't we do something with darla it just

seems so disrespectful to leave her out

there until the sheriff gets here it's

evidence

125 000.

that's motive

you know peter just might don't even say

it

i'm gonna go look for him

todd don't go out there

i'll be fine

you scared me to death

did you see mac

willie

he went through the woods to get some

help and he ought to be back by now

i don't know do you think

maybe you ought to go look for him

[Music]

peter

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

later

[Music]

it's just me

have you seen peter

a time ago

said he was going back to the house to

wait for the sheriff

it's just [ __ ] great

listen captain if you

never mind i gotta get back

you owe us an explanation i don't owe

you a damn thing i'd like to know what

the hell you doing listen to my private

notes peter we're just confused darla's

dead phil is missing there's all this

money can you explain this tape yeah

session notes with a disturbed

individual as to where phil is i don't

know that's a good question well the

tape makes it sound like you're talking

to yourself

peter

todd so what about the money that phil

gave you it was an old loan why

alone

alone

i don't know

i'm sorry man

i knew it could be you

well one vote of confidence at least

thank you peter we're sorry we just let

our imaginations get out of hand

i think so

are you okay

i just wish shelly and mac would get

back with the sheriff yeah they should

be here by now

look at i'm going to drive towards town

and see if i can spot

that's a good idea i'll walk out with

you i need to get some air

[Applause]

pop the hood

minus one distributor cap go check yours

[Music]

nothing man it's gone

it's bad well listen the the sheriff

will be here pretty soon yeah so when

mac and shelly found them [ __ ] look

i know these woods man i'll cut through

hit the highway and i'm like doc that is

not a good idea we need to stay together

yeah the sheriff doesn't show we're not

gonna have any together left man i'm

gone

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

it's amazing what people will do for it

yeah

the root of all evil well actually it's

the love of money that's the root of all

evil by itself it's just a tool jesus

you two amaze me

i don't believe you dude how with the

money

darla's dead are [ __ ] killers still

walking around here and you two act like

you just want some kind of reward

jesus christ

we need me to get you some more ice

melissa

[Music]

i'll be back

todd i thought you were gonna get me

some more ice

i'll get you some

where that son of a [ __ ] go who peter

after the sheriff like he said

well there's this car and then he took

out through the woods somebody screwed

with all the cars

look at this

yeah so

so that's his first girlfriend the one

that vanished without a trace

i found it next to phil's body in the

basement

oh my god

i'm gonna go look for him

[Music]

wow

[Applause]

and we ought to have no part in the

heart of man

the goods of this world are vile and

soon pass into dust

but the future is vast and exalted

[Music]

[Music]

we just found phil in the basement he's

been murdered

now we think peter had something to do

with it todd

i know that it wouldn't be peter

sure as hell hope not but if you do see

him

just be careful you too

you too

[Applause]

found this out by the patio this has got

to be what killed phil

[ __ ] that has to belong to the damn

captain exactly peter could be in

trouble no i don't think so i still

think peter's involved todd come on look

i just left the old man he was acting

weird but he wasn't trying to kill me

what about mac and shelley they should

have been back hours ago

oh

thank god peter

are you okay

where you been man

we're running through the

trees

what's your problem i don't know maybe

this

where the hell did you get that i got it

from phil man a [ __ ] message from the

grave [ __ ] you

guys guys hey hey hey hey hey

just back off top back off

so what happened peter i thought you

went looking for help

i couldn't get through

now todd melissa's not doing well at all

go and check on her

go

go

[Applause]

what do you make of this

some spearfishing thing yeah we found

phil's body in the basement he was

stabbed over and over probably with this

i've seen that i've seen it over the

captain's house

in this picture

it could mean something

she was the captain's niece

before i knew you guys she yeah we heard

she was your girlfriend well do you

think the captain is acting outside yeah

maybe he thinks you have something to do

with him

i don't know

i found this in the woods man i'm gonna

i'll match it up one of the cars i'll go

in and get the sheriff

no no no you get safer

stay here

go in there lock yourself up stay tight

man i'll be back as soon as i can be

careful

[Music]

[Applause]

how's your ankle

sore

can you go get you some more ice

no i'll get it i've got to do something

i'll be back be careful todd

[Applause]

i think we should keep the money

what

it would

solve a lot of problems

carol phil and darla died because of

that

we don't know that

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

are you talking

[Music]

mack and shelly are in the basement

what

i said

mac and shelly are in the [ __ ] death

trap basement

and you

my fine friend let the murderer walk

right out the front door watch it todd

peter is off the hook now the harpoon

belongs to the captain he is out looking

for him now he's out planning his next

victim

we have been sitting on the [ __ ]

couch the whole [ __ ] night

how do you expect somebody to drag mac

and shelley's bodies into the basement i

don't know

i don't know

i just know he's involved

i know he's involved

look we have got to keep ourselves

together okay

okay yeah

you especially for melissa's sake i

don't know

my head is killing me

look i'm just

i'm going to take a shower

it might make me relax

all right

hmm

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

so

[Music]

[Music]

get going

[Music]

oh

henry

wake up henry we've got to go get your

sheriff rosalie it's late and the

sheriff's a family man i don't care if

he is or not but our children are in

danger this man calls himself the black

saban he in his own way is a fake here

who claims that he can withstand pain

and that nothing whatsoever can hurt him

the black sabang says he wears a charm

or amulet that makes him impervious to

harm a psychologist would look beyond

that

and see in the charm yeah that lies

close to the power of self-hypnosis

and now

let us watch this matter oh yeah he used

to perform the classical feat

[Applause]

[Applause]

hey andy

did you go for help yeah

i can show you're dead

so when are they coming well i hope soon

peter you did go for the sheriff right

oh yeah

i had to wake him up first

ought to be out here with a doctor

anytime

probably stopped for a donut at first

yeah did you call me hon uh yeah um

could you go and check on todd and

melissa

sure

be careful

so carol

much money is there exactly

don't you know

how could i

125 000

it's a big time score

man or woman could do a lot with that

we have full intentions of returning to

the show

of course

i was just making conversation

ugh

todd

guys

[Music]

you're not in there

we'll check the kitchen

where's peter

i don't know

[Music]

todd

[Music]

what's your name

[Applause]

so be it

death

to the traitor

[Music]

ah

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

oh

[Music]

[Applause]

oh

[Applause]

[Music]

carol

[Music]

carol

carol

[Applause]

[Music]

carol

[Music]

my god

his guts are torn what do you think

happened

[Music]

he's not the killer

no

come on let's go

[Music]

[Applause]

peter

[Applause]

[Music]

down here are you all right

it's mama's little baby

peter what the hell's going on here i'm

the wild child

it's my party

haven't you guessed

oh

i'm sorry

i neglected to sign the invitations

hi

why kill our friends

or why screw with my life

[Music]

[Applause]

she's why

[Applause]

you [ __ ] with my life

we never meant to hurt you she loved me

once

so you stepped in with your

psychological [ __ ]

oh

[Music]

that doesn't matter now

but it was exquisite watching her die

[Music]

did you know

she thought it was you

she kept calling out your name peter

[Music]

why would you do this to her

you need some help man help

i don't think so

six bodies

i did it all myself you bastard possibly

who's to know once

you and your friends are dead

[Music]

it will be the perfect frame

no one will believe it

[Music]

your friends did

[Music]

ah

[Music]

so

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

peter

yeah

[Music]

it's okay

he's gone

[Music]

it's all right rosalie there was nothing

you could do

oh

that's not true henry i should have made

them listen rosalie you can't make

people listen they're going to believe

what they want to believe

i'm gonna need your statement

and yours too of course

fine

geez you know

sure was a shocker when henry carr

called didn't peter wake you up

i got woke up but it wasn't by peter it

was henry carr

he called saying rosalie was having a

fit and would i please get out here and

take a look at things

i saw that uh bloody jeep out there on

the road didn't take much to come

running

you dry those tears and read me some

mores

all right

it's mostly dark

befitting the tragedy

but there's also some bright ones

looking to the future you make sure you

have the paramedic take a look at that

ankle

yellow and gold with a little red at the

top 95 000 sure

she has life inside of her also a secret

peter lying

yeah about a lot of things

i guess i would lie too if i had

something like that to hide

i was so scared

it's okay but

everything's gonna be all right

[Music]

look at that henry

just look at him stuck him with a

fishing knife only just the tip

i closed the door behind him

and i backed him up a bit

his face lost all its color i said tell

me why you've come

then i dug a little deeper just to

loosen up his tongue

he said i only come to help you man

[Music]

him to the devil

my initials on his skin