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1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:06,983
♪ Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,585
♪ Traveled down the
road and back again
3
00:00:09,609 --> 00:00:12,456
♪ Your heart is true
4
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:17,393
♪ You're a pal and a confidante
5
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:20,464
♪ And if you threw a party
6
00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:25,836
♪ Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:30,240
♪ You would see the
biggest gift would be from me
8
00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,209
♪ And the card
attached would say
9
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:38,704
♪ "Thank you for
being a friend" ♪
10
00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:21,925
Rose, what are you doing?
11
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:25,328
I'm diapering a turkey.
12
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:27,496
It's been so long since
I changed a diaper,
13
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,954
I figured I'd practice
before the baby gets here.
14
00:01:31,025 --> 00:01:33,836
Ma! Hello, Martha.
Where were you?
15
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:35,338
I'll give you a hint.
16
00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:37,007
The guest of honor
had lipstick on her teeth
17
00:01:37,031 --> 00:01:38,763
and didn't give a damn.
18
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:41,944
Who died?
19
00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:44,781
My best friend,
Lydia. I'm so sorry.
20
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:47,884
She suffered so. It was
a blessing in disguise.
21
00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:50,286
I always wondered why
blessings wore disguises.
22
00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:53,690
If I were a blessing,
I'd run around naked.
23
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:54,757
(doorbell)
24
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,159
Oh, that must be the baby.
25
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:57,427
There's a baby coming?
26
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,695
A couple from my
church are going camping
27
00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:02,098
over the weekend, and we
get to take care of the baby.
28
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,789
Good. Maybe now you'll
get some food I can chew.
29
00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:09,171
How about a cup of tea, Martha?
30
00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:12,909
A little. I made a pig
of myself at the funeral.
31
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:15,044
It was nice. Everybody
had a good time.
32
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,812
I'm going to miss her so much.
33
00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:18,982
I know. But you said yourself,
34
00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:20,817
the last few weeks
were so hard on her.
35
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,919
At least now she's
resting peacefully.
36
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:25,355
I feel so bad.
37
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:27,023
Hey, I'm the one
who should feel bad.
38
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:29,881
Lydia and I were
wearing the same dress.
39
00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:35,965
Honey, can we go now?
40
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,401
I've been planning this for months
- a weekend alone in the woods.
41
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:39,936
It's going to be perfect.
42
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:43,761
It sounds romantic. Maybe
you'll have another baby.
43
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:47,965
I'd better make sure
we packed everything.
44
00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:50,847
Well, thanks again.
45
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,382
Goodbye, Francis.
You be good now.
46
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,684
Now, don't you
worry about a thing.
47
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:57,187
What a beautiful little thing.
48
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:59,522
Yes. What is it,
Rose? A boy or a girl?
49
00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:02,025
Of course!
50
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:05,962
I mean, is it Frances
as in Francie,
51
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:07,964
or Francis as in Frank?
52
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:11,234
I don't know. It's
wearing yellow.
53
00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:14,092
We could find out, Rose. How?
54
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,574
Put on the Dolphins
game and see if it watches.
55
00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:21,845
By looking, Rose!
56
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:26,716
We could change its diaper,
and see if it has a winky.
57
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,785
A "winky"?
58
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:32,129
That's the scientific
term for it, when it's little.
59
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,659
But the baby isn't wet.
60
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,393
We'll change it
anyway. Here you go.
61
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:38,862
Here I go?
62
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:40,496
The best time to change a diaper
63
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,832
is when there's nothing in it.
64
00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:45,468
I'll do it. You can help me.
65
00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:47,336
OK. Ready?
66
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,228
One, two, three...
67
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,002
(all) Frank.
68
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,690
May I help you, madame?
69
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:09,892
How d'you know I'm
not a mademoiselle?
70
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,794
Because what
man in his right mind
71
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:14,519
would leave you to
languish on the vine?
72
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:23,572
If this was Sicily, you
wouldn't have any lips left.
73
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,542
Take me to my friend
Martha Lamont's table,
74
00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:27,243
and try not to fall in love.
75
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,978
Miss Lamont is waiting
for you at the bar.
76
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:32,849
Oh, good. With luck, she found
somebody who'll pay for dinner.
77
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:36,386
Martha! You look terrific.
78
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:38,854
Are those new knee-highs?
79
00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:42,346
It's a new attitude -
eat, drink and be merry.
80
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:54,070
Hey, Jacques.
81
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:57,095
Gimme a hand, and
watch where you put it.
82
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:07,750
That was better than
I thought it would be.
83
00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:09,975
Now I can't wait to get down.
84
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,823
Hi. Can I get you ladies drinks?
85
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:17,293
I'll have a Manhattan. And don't
slip me any of the cheap stuff.
86
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,228
I'll have another
Harvey Wallbanger.
87
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:22,465
You've seen quite a bit
of Mr. Wallbanger tonight.
88
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,966
I'm celebrating,
89
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:27,369
because I've just had an
idea that will change my life.
90
00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:29,973
Order anything you like.
91
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,141
I'm going to have
the shrimp cocktail,
92
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,843
the cream of mushroom soup,
93
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,645
asparagus with
hollandaise sauce,
94
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,380
and the filet mignon.
95
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:39,282
I like cholesterol as
much as the next guy,
96
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:42,840
but you're never gonna
get blood to your feet again.
97
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:47,156
I'd like to drink a toast.
98
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:51,127
To Sophia, whom I
hope I can count on.
99
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,895
For what?
100
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:56,466
Get your lips off Harvey
and tell me what you want!
101
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:59,335
Since you mentioned it, I want
you to do something for me.
102
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,671
I want you to come over
to my place tomorrow night.
103
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,473
What, is it your birthday?
104
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:06,442
Sophia, there aren't going
to be any more birthdays.
105
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,210
What are you telling me?
106
00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:10,680
I have so many
things wrong with me -
107
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,615
arthritis, high blood pressure,
108
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:14,950
angina, just to mention a few.
109
00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:16,953
Who doesn't? You can't
get into a canasta game
110
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:20,289
unless you have at least
two debilitating diseases.
111
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:22,981
Your table is ready, mesdames.
112
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:30,466
I don't know, for me it
was better the first time.
113
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:32,167
What do you think?
114
00:06:32,191 --> 00:06:35,037
Right this way, please.
115
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,773
So why do you want me to
be at your house tomorrow?
116
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:41,199
I want you to be
there when I kill myself.
117
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,316
(Francis crying)
What is it, Blanche?
118
00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:50,653
I can't quite make it out.
I think my eyes are tired.
119
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,343
Your eyes are old.
120
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:56,192
Blanche, when are you
gonna admit you need glasses?
121
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,960
I do not need glasses.
122
00:06:57,984 --> 00:07:01,597
My mother didn't need
glasses till the day she died.
123
00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:03,421
And then it seemed silly.
124
00:07:05,024 --> 00:07:06,869
What is his
temperature, Blanche?
125
00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:09,038
I do not know, Dorothy.
126
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:13,476
Even with perfect eyesight,
nobody can read one of these things.
127
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:17,368
Oh, my God. It's 103.2!
128
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:22,619
The poor baby!
129
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,286
We'd better contact his parents.
130
00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:26,288
They're out in the woods somewh-
131
00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:28,057
We'd better call Harry.
132
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:30,559
We're very lucky we have a
pediatrician right down the street.
133
00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:33,163
No, that's a bad idea. Why?
134
00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:36,766
Because by the time I get
my hair done and my face on,
135
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,834
that baby could be
in serious trouble.
136
00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:40,670
Let's call his
real pediatrician.
137
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:43,139
OK. Pediatrician. Pe...
138
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,240
Here it is. Dr. Harry Weston.
139
00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:48,544
Oh, God! Oh, come on,
Blanche, he's a doctor.
140
00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:51,202
He's used to seeing
people at their worst.
141
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:56,741
And if you comb your hair,
you can be right in that ball park.
142
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,322
Harry? Dorothy.
143
00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:02,591
Listen, I'm so sorry I
have to call you at home,
144
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:04,593
but we're taking care
of the Lillistrand baby,
145
00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:07,396
and he's running
a very high fever.
146
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,766
Could you come over right away?
147
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:12,490
No, this is not
Blanche playing a joke.
148
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,273
Thanks, Harry. Thanks very much.
149
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:18,775
He's coming? Right away.
150
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:20,276
I'd better freshen up.
151
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,278
Blanche, he is not
coming over to look at you.
152
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,280
He's coming over
to look at the baby.
153
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:27,371
I will be holding the
baby, next to my bosom.
154
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:31,888
What a magnificent picture.
155
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:34,845
God, I wish that thing
didn't look so sickly.
156
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:38,427
(crying continues)
157
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,296
I don't care if you
are paying for dinner.
158
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,164
What you wanna do is crazy.
159
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,099
It's time to go, Sophia.
160
00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:46,469
I don't want to see
another Monday.
161
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:49,238
I don't want to wait, and
end up going like Lydia.
162
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:51,774
I'm going to decide
when it's over.
163
00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:55,044
I always thought somebody
named God did that.
164
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,212
You don't understand.
165
00:08:57,236 --> 00:09:00,716
I'm afraid of the
pain, of the hurting.
166
00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:03,753
I'm afraid of being
alone, of dying alone.
167
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,521
I can take the pills myself,
168
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,057
but I want you to be
there and hold my hand.
169
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,459
You're right, I
don't understand.
170
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:13,529
I'd do anything to stay alive.
If my heart stopped beating,
171
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:17,273
I'd want every doctor in town
jumping up and down on my chest.
172
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,269
You say that now,
173
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,805
but I don't have the
courage to die by inches.
174
00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:25,474
I'm going to do it,
whether you're there or not.
175
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:29,433
I don't want to die
alone. Please, help me.
176
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:45,049
(Francis crying)
177
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:53,302
Dorothy, do you think this
looks alluring and yet nurselike?
178
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,471
I don't know, Blanche.
179
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:59,442
Maybe the earrings
put it over the top.
180
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:01,143
Oh, no, I did
that for the baby -
181
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,645
they love shiny things.
182
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,313
Listen, maybe you
two oughtta wait
183
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:06,716
in the kitchen with the kid.
184
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,183
(doorbell)
185
00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:10,786
Oh, I'll get it. Freeze!
Don't go near that door.
186
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:12,510
Gimme that thing.
187
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:19,696
Hello, Frank, darling. (coos)
188
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,331
How do I look?
189
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:25,957
It's all wrong, Blanche. The
baby doesn't match your shoes.
190
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:33,175
Hello, ladies! (Dorothy) Oh, Harry,
thanks so much for coming over.
191
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:36,512
Frank! Frank, talk to me.
What's going on here?
192
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:38,547
He isn't feeling very well,
193
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:41,672
so we thought we'd
have you over for a drink.
194
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:48,891
Hey, why don't we just forget
the baby and go dancing?
195
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:49,958
Oh!
196
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:52,895
Blanche, that is some outfit!
197
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:55,097
What do you call that?
198
00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:57,967
A negligee.
199
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,569
Brings back fond memories.
200
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,660
My mother used to
have one just like it.
201
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:08,978
Here, take him - he's wet.
202
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,646
Well, somebody
better change him,
203
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,430
or he'll get a
rash on his winky.
204
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,153
We're sorry we had
to disturb you, Harry,
205
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,788
but he's running a fever of 103.
206
00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:21,324
What do you think it is?
207
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:24,293
He could be teething,
it could be the flu.
208
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:27,296
Maybe he's just a hypochondriac.
209
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,599
Really?
210
00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:31,667
Well, let's take a look.
211
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,604
So, you've been keeping
these ladies busy, have you?
212
00:11:34,628 --> 00:11:36,105
Oh, I didn't mind.
213
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:39,664
I have such a highly
developed maternal instinct.
214
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:48,217
Uh, I was talking to
the baby, Blanche.
215
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,686
Any other symptoms? Rash or...?
216
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,489
No, he was fine one minute,
and running a fever the next.
217
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:56,258
Is it the usual? Huh?
218
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:59,094
Yeah. Frank tends to get ear
infections from time to time.
219
00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:03,032
Is he gonna be all right? He'll be
fine. We'll keep a close watch on him.
220
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,301
Give him four drops
of this right now,
221
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:06,903
and then once every two hours.
222
00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:10,005
Give him plenty of fluids so
he doesn't get dehydrated.
223
00:12:10,029 --> 00:12:12,441
And I'll check back
on you tomorrow.
224
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:15,110
When are we supposed to sleep?
225
00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:17,847
Not that I mind. I
was born to heal.
226
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,604
Heel, Blanche!
227
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:23,286
Welcome back to
motherhood, ladies.
228
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:25,921
I'm sure you were good mothers
and you remember what to do.
229
00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:28,657
Blanche, watch the others. You
look like you pick up things quickly.
230
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,193
Gotta go.
231
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,482
Bye.
232
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:41,303
(Francis crying)
233
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:43,239
What is wrong with this baby?
234
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:48,276
Honey, darling, please
shut up for Aunt Blanche!
235
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,279
You know, back in St. Olaf,
236
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:52,948
we had a surefire method
for getting babies to sleep.
237
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:55,284
If herring, elk, or
anyone named Sven
238
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:58,687
figures in this, I
don't wanna hear it.
239
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:01,490
OK, I've got another one.
240
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:04,226
Whenever my kids couldn't
sleep, we always sang to them.
241
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:07,797
A lullaby? Sort
of. "Mr. Sandman."
242
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:09,765
Oh, I don't know, Rose...
243
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,501
Dorothy, come
on. It's worth a try.
244
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,569
It's either we sing or he sings.
245
00:13:14,593 --> 00:13:16,505
Oh, all right.
246
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,729
♪ Boom
247
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,935
♪ Boom
248
00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:27,116
Well? Well what?
249
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,918
After my "boom" comes
your "boom," and then yours -
250
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:32,989
until we're all "boom" ing.
251
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:36,392
How complicated
is that herring thing?
252
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,894
♪ Boom ♪ Boom, boom, boom
253
00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:40,295
♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom
254
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:42,698
♪ Boom ♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom
255
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,567
♪ Boom ♪ Boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom
256
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:46,101
♪ Boom ♪ Boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom
257
00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:48,270
♪ Mr. Sandman
258
00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:50,472
♪ Bring me a dream ♪
Boom, boom, boom, boom
259
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:53,275
♪ Make him the
cutest that I've ever seen
260
00:13:53,299 --> 00:13:54,610
♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom
261
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:57,212
♪ Give him two lips
like roses and clover
262
00:13:57,236 --> 00:13:58,614
♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom
263
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:01,750
♪ Then tell him that his
lonesome nights are over
264
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:04,308
(silence)
265
00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:12,928
(crying)
266
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:16,487
(resume song)
267
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:22,371
♪ Mr. Sandman (deep) ♪ Yes?
268
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,039
♪ Bring me a dream
269
00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:28,611
♪ Make him the
cutest that I've ever seen
270
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:32,414
♪ Give him the word
that I'm not a rover
271
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:35,384
♪ Then tell him that his
lonesome nights are over
272
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:41,012
♪ Mr. Sandman ♪ I'm so alone...
273
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:45,861
Boy, you guys really stink.
274
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,530
We were just singing
the baby to sleep.
275
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:51,067
It was waking me up.
276
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:52,768
Maybe we ought to
go out in the kitchen.
277
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:53,936
So we can talk.
278
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:57,205
So we can eat. Better.
279
00:14:57,229 --> 00:15:00,809
Ma, we're sorry our
singing woke you.
280
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:04,346
It wasn't you. I had
a horrible nightmare.
281
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:07,283
I dreamt my Uncle Giuseppe
came down from heaven
282
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:09,085
and was pointing a finger at me.
283
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,842
I think it was a finger.
284
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:18,694
And he was warning me - if I did a
certain thing, I wouldn't get into heaven.
285
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,363
What thing? Try murder.
286
00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:23,498
It was just a dream, Sophia.
287
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:26,201
It's not just a dream for me.
288
00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:27,969
Martha wants to commit suicide,
289
00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:31,507
and she wants me
to be there with her.
290
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,642
And what did you say?
291
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,210
I said I'd think about it.
292
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:38,547
You can't say no to somebody
who pops for a $75 dinner.
293
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:40,737
Tell them, Blanche.
294
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,492
Ma, I can't believe that
you're seriously considering
295
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:53,128
getting involved in this!
296
00:15:53,152 --> 00:15:56,265
Martha's a sick woman. And
she doesn't wanna get any sicker.
297
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:59,067
She's gonna do it anyway,
so why should she die alone?
298
00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:00,869
This is wrong, Sophia.
299
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:03,272
Forget about whether
this is right or wrong.
300
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,874
Ma, I'm worried about you!
301
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:08,210
When Martha takes
those pills or whatever
302
00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:11,246
and the life drains out of her,
303
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:15,417
you're gonna be
in that room, alone.
304
00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:19,221
What are you gonna do,
Ma? How are you gonna feel?
305
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:21,423
I don't know,
but I'll deal with it.
306
00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:24,093
When my time comes,
I sure want somebody
307
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:27,063
to put me out of my misery
if something tragic happens -
308
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:32,456
like I get a fatal illness,
or I've lost my looks.
309
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:37,295
Tell us when, Blanche.
310
00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:41,310
Ma, I forbid you to do this.
311
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,445
Sometimes you forget
- I'm the mother here.
312
00:16:43,469 --> 00:16:44,780
That has nothing
to do with this.
313
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,481
It has everything
to do with this.
314
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:49,618
In the 25 years I have on
you, I've learned something.
315
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:53,456
I just wish I could
remember what it is.
316
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,123
Oh, yeah, I got it.
317
00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:58,326
It's not whether you agree
or disagree with somebody.
318
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:01,396
It's whether you can be there for
that person when they need you.
319
00:17:01,420 --> 00:17:04,233
Sophia, I can't believe
you're doing this.
320
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:05,935
You know, this
reminds me of the story
321
00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:08,537
of Gunilla Ulf's daughter,
322
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:11,340
St. Olaf's very
own angel of death.
323
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,809
Tell it, Rose. Tell it.
324
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,100
Really? All the way through?
325
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:20,382
All the way through. But
please try to make the end
326
00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:24,152
come as close to the
beginning as possible.
327
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:26,488
Well, Gunilla Ulf's
daughter was a nurse
328
00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:29,925
at Cedars of St. Olaf Hospital.
329
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:33,562
One night she was taking
care of Sven Bjornsson,
330
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,297
and he asked her
if she would get him
331
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:38,367
some more mouth
moisteners and then kill him.
332
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,870
Gunilla brought the mouth
moisteners right away,
333
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,472
but the killing thing
334
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:46,441
seemed to go against
everything she'd been taught.
335
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:48,710
You're doing beautifully, Rose.
336
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,846
He begged and he begged,
337
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:53,482
and by her coffee break,
she couldn't stand it anymore,
338
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:57,286
so she pulled the
plug and he died.
339
00:17:57,310 --> 00:18:00,322
Well, she was racked
with guilt that night.
340
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:06,194
Not only had she parked
her car in a doctor's spot,
341
00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:09,397
but she was never sure
whether Sven's pleading
342
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:12,034
was the pain talking,
or the medication talking,
343
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,358
or the guy in the
next bed talking!
344
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,875
You see, the guy in the next
bed was Ingmar von Bergen,
345
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:23,433
St. Olaf's meanest
ventriloquist.
346
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:34,089
Rose, we are going
somewhere with this, aren't we?
347
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:38,093
I mean, if not, I'm gonna
cut out your tongue.
348
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,228
Yes!
349
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:41,963
Sven came back
to haunt Gunilla -
350
00:18:41,987 --> 00:18:44,899
since then, every
Tuesday night at ten.
351
00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:49,104
Nine, Central time. Oh!
352
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,173
She hears noises.
353
00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:53,542
Some say it's the wind, but...
354
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:55,710
some say it's Sven's voice
355
00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:58,147
whispering back
from the other side,
356
00:18:58,171 --> 00:19:01,905
saying, "Turn around
quick - his lips are moving."
357
00:19:08,547 --> 00:19:11,893
You see that, Ma?
358
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:13,262
You kill someone,
359
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:17,699
you end up being a Rose story.
360
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:19,468
Is this what you want?
361
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,104
Dorothy, I'll worry
about me later.
362
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:23,672
I gotta do this.
363
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:26,764
Goodnight, pussycat.
364
00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:37,218
(gasps)
365
00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:38,453
You came.
366
00:19:38,477 --> 00:19:39,688
I said I would.
367
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:43,391
Come in. Come in and sit down.
368
00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:45,828
I have something to show you.
369
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:49,364
Look, ten carats,
and not a flaw.
370
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:52,968
I bought it today,
on time. (chuckles)
371
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:55,704
Very nice.
372
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,473
Look, I was thinking,
373
00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:59,308
maybe you shouldn't
go through with this...
374
00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:00,909
No, I have to go.
375
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:03,478
I've never felt so happy.
376
00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:04,979
Do you like the ring?
377
00:20:05,003 --> 00:20:08,250
Reminds me of a doorknob
I had back in Brooklyn.
378
00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:09,985
What are you doing?
379
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:12,621
Just my way of saying thank you.
380
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,990
Well, I think I've taken
care of everything.
381
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:18,393
Now, you'll see to it that they
don't put lipstick on my teeth.
382
00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:22,598
Don't worry. I'll take them
out and check them personally.
383
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:30,339
Well... I guess...
it's time to go.
384
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:32,207
You will hold my hand?
385
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,875
Sure I will.
386
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:37,301
I'm so glad I don't
have to go alone.
387
00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:42,351
Uh... d'you remember how we met?
388
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,286
Yes. About eight years ago.
389
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,021
We shared a room
in the hospital.
390
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:48,557
You had the heart scare,
I was the gall bladder.
391
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,625
They gave you my
sponge bath by mistake.
392
00:20:50,649 --> 00:20:53,195
You ate my Jell-O. It
was a horrible little room.
393
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:55,030
We couldn't wait
to get out of it.
394
00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:57,499
Because we wanted
to live. Yes. I remember.
395
00:20:57,523 --> 00:21:00,124
Remember better. Remember life.
396
00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:04,039
I don't have much of one.
397
00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:05,841
I'm not like you.
398
00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:08,811
You live with
friends and family,
399
00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:12,047
holidays and warmth.
400
00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:14,849
I hear the silence.
401
00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:17,018
We'll talk. We'll
talk all the time.
402
00:21:17,042 --> 00:21:18,487
You can come over Thanksgiving,
403
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:20,055
Christmas, every Friday night.
404
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:24,426
I may not be there, but you
could always talk to Rose.
405
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:27,996
No, I want to go. Lydia
looked so peaceful.
406
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:30,832
We're not in this
life for peace!
407
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,334
You're crying!
408
00:21:32,358 --> 00:21:34,469
No, I'm not. I don't cry.
I can see your tears.
409
00:21:34,493 --> 00:21:36,405
I can see yours. Know
what that tells me?
410
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:39,674
What? You're not as ready
to die as you think you are.
411
00:21:39,698 --> 00:21:41,543
You still wanna live, kid.
412
00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:44,079
Some kid!
413
00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:45,947
I don't know what to do.
414
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:47,950
That's the point.
If you're not sure,
415
00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:49,952
you can't change
your mind tomorrow.
416
00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:52,420
You wanted me to
be here for your death.
417
00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:55,557
How about letting me
be here for your life?
418
00:21:55,581 --> 00:21:58,093
Like a friend?
419
00:21:58,117 --> 00:22:00,484
Like a best friend.
420
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,976
Dorothy, honey, sit down.
Pacing isn't gonna help.
421
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,645
I just can't stop
thinking about Ma.
422
00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:20,849
Look at that! Perfect - 98.6.
423
00:22:20,873 --> 00:22:23,985
Yeah, that's what
it looks like to me.
424
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,922
Thank God! That
means he's better.
425
00:22:26,946 --> 00:22:28,991
Here. I'm pooped.
426
00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:31,026
I guess there must be a reason
427
00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:36,198
why women have babies when
they're 20ish instead of 40ish.
428
00:22:36,222 --> 00:22:38,200
Blanche, the only
thing in this room
429
00:22:38,224 --> 00:22:41,158
that's 40ish is your hairdo.
430
00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:45,274
Ma.
431
00:22:45,298 --> 00:22:47,442
It's OK. She changed her mind.
432
00:22:47,466 --> 00:22:49,678
Oh, Ma, Thank God! I
know, Dorothy. I know.
433
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:52,414
(doorbell rings) That
must be the Lillistrands.
434
00:22:52,438 --> 00:22:55,584
Frank, we love you,
but you are out of here.
435
00:22:55,608 --> 00:22:57,118
Gimme a minute.
436
00:22:57,142 --> 00:22:58,642
Sure.
437
00:23:01,447 --> 00:23:04,826
Listen, you. You're
just starting out.
438
00:23:04,850 --> 00:23:07,328
You're in for the long haul.
439
00:23:07,352 --> 00:23:08,864
Keep your seat belt on -
440
00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:11,332
there are lots of
twists and turns.
441
00:23:11,356 --> 00:23:14,803
(crying)
442
00:23:14,827 --> 00:23:18,195
Stop that, or they're gonna
come in here and sing again!
33127
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