Original subtitles

(Larisa) -Girlfriend,

why don't you use office printer?

Am I bad at cooking? - Tasty, but homemade food is more familiar to me.

- Don't you trust me?

-I trust.

- I'm sorry I trusted you.

You had a whole week to resolve the issue of primacy.

And they are already here arrange wedding parades.

- Larissa, I... -Bad Mother!

As usual, you have to do everything yourself.

Get ready for the International Guardian Games

and wait for my instructions.

-Will the Games be held in Two Hills?

There hasn't been a draw yet.

(Larisa) - Friends, welcome to the next congress

Organization of the United Mothers.

As you know, as part of the gene abundance program

seed exchange this year

will be held between Mother Russia

and Mother Holland.

And the decoration of the event

will become the traditional Games of the Keepers of the Seed.

The draw will now take place.

and we will find out the city of holding gene exchange.

And it's totally random...

Two Hills!

- Yadviga Kristinovna!

(in English) Isn't this the city where the primates settled?

(Larisa) -It will be an interesting event.

-Ay!

(ring signal)

(Larisa) -Good morning, Rada!

While you were sleeping, I did a body check-up.

I advise you to replace the liver.

-Good morning, ladies.

- Husband, your carrot lyulya.

-Mmm! It smells like fire.

- This is a brand new haze cartridge, especially for Muscovites.

-Husband,

and I made us brandy.

Stolen from our wedding.

- Glad, lately you drink too much.

This causes addiction.

- Understood, my patriarch.

I will be a good wife.

But tomorrow.

-Yes, that's it! Glad!

jokes with alcohol this is a very serious thing!

-Why does she have Velikvagen, and I don't?

Iya what, some special wife?

- I'll give you mine.

-Thank you. You are so generous.

(Larisa) -Saliva exchange recorded.

Violation of social distance.

-By the way, how are we going to have sex - three or one at a time?

And when the husband is not at home,

I should use "Lily of the valley" Or use Iu?

- Glad, please stop. oral aggression.

- Wife, I'm just trying to decide family matters.

Oops, I think I want to have sex.

-A... -Let's go.

- Then I also want to have sex.

- So, it's time for me to drive a taxi.

Feed the family.

- Hera, take your lunch.

And have a good day, husband.

- Hide the cognac, please, more securely.

-Perhaps pour it out? -No, thanks. Still, elite, cognac.

So, that's it, I went to work.

-Who washes beetles like that?

Look, the back is dusty. Three carefully.

Why is the tree so pale?

What will Yadviga Kristinovna say - that we don't have enough sun?

Give him more chlorophyll.

-Mother! I came at your first call.

What do you want?

-Two hills chosen for seed exchange with mother Holland.

-Great! There will be Guardian Games.

Let's take a look at half-naked men.

-There will be a bunch of Inocopters.

-What about me? You are Mother.

You destroy. - Primates are our common problem with you.

Yadviga Kristinovna is coming here, to see them in person.

-Does she already know that you let me out?

(Rat) - You mean you won't? Points are not a problem.

- You know... friends.

We have divided the establishments for men and women,

to avoid hurting your feelings.

- Actually already.

-What's not clear? This place is for girlfriends, not primates.

-Listen, little one, Be careful with the P word.

-Only a primate can call primacy by primacy.

-Did you hear what the primate said? Take off, skin!

-Khm-hm!

How do you talk to your daughter?

(alert music)

Yes, I was joking. Who needs your genes?

- What, you also decided to move to Two Hills?

-Yes.

I miss you, my goose.

What are you, girls? have you become friends?

Will you fight over me?

-Sasha, he is coming to us with a check. Supreme Mother of Russia.

Could you guys spend the day at home?

-Are you ashamed of us? They invited themselves.

- Well, as invited,

so let's get rid of it.

-Somehow you don't really drown for our rights, friend.

-If you want to continue living under the warm female wing,

then sit at home - quiet as mice.

- Barosha, let's go home, huh?

- Larisa and I are making such a little okroshka. Have you tried bioquasic?

-Sasha,

we're all under attack right now. Please.

-OK.

But only for you.

- Didn't you think that Yadviga Kristinovna want to personally meet Muscovites?

-We will have our own Muscovites.

exemplary.

-Look! It's a husband!

(camera clicks)

Let's go to.

(ring signal)

(ring signal)

-How is the family?

Not cramped three of us in the house?

- Everything is fine, dear mother-in-law.

We live soul to soul.

-I need your help.

A matter of urban importance.

- The anthem of the Two Hills is playing!

(ceremonial music)

- Between the green flowering hills

Lies a curly untouched forest...

-Enough.

Now show me the men.

- Guardians of the seed?

-Men.

- Yadviga Kristinovna, please follow me.

- Yadviga Kristinovna!

Girlfriend! What does she do when she's free?

-Autumn amnesty.

I sat under the apple tree, I realized everything.

Now imagining movement Muscovites are people too.

-Let her represent somewhere else.

-Lariska! Turn on the porn!

(Larisa) - I don't know the meaning of the word "porn".

- Well, sing "Black Raven" then.

-There is no such song in my database.

- Wow cook!

-Killing living beings is prohibited Koktebel Convention on Life.

I'm tired of you all. I'm going to sleep.

- In, and you said, everything is possible. Yearning!

Well, I'm tired of sitting.

We went fishing. Wow I want.

-Baron, well, they asked us don't stick out.

-What are we - animals, or something, sit in a cage?

I want an ear!

- Yes, let the Artist drive.

You can tell him from afar horseradish from a woman.

- Tochnyak.

Yes, artist. Throw, huh?

This, and scoop up the river water, so that the ear with a swamp smell was.

And the water here is tasteless. -OK.

Give it to me.

(Gaza Strip - "Collective Farm Punk")

- Don't worry, buddy. Yadviga won't suspect anything.

-We talked to primates at a wedding yesterday and learned a lot.

- We blew it.

- So, Lucius, go.

You have a king, he is older, take it.

- How purple sounds: "King"!

I want this nickname.

Yes, I didn't give you nicknames.

So, then you will be Puzo,

you are an artist

and you are a rat.

-Rat?

Is this a gray nondescript animal? No, I want to be someone bright and noble.

I will...

Rooster.

- I'll be a Rooster too. - You can't repeat it.

-Then I'll be the Rooster King.

- So, boys, hare.

These are very creepy nicknames for primates.

(noise outside the window) Take cards!

(tense music)

- My name is Yadviga Kristinovna, I am the Supreme Mother of Russia.

-Very nice. Gera.

-Rooster.

-King Rooster.

-Ace Rooster.

-They're joking.

- Well, tell me how you live here.

(burps) - Shikardos.

-ABOUT!

Is this the same moonshine?

Well, more like on diluted oatmeal.

-A...

He was not kind.

-And we also have every Muscovite socialized and benefits society.

Gera, for example, works in a taxi.

(stammering) - Can I give you a ride in a taxi?

We just opened a wet park.

I'll give you a discount.

-Even so?

Well, how can I refuse?

- Ku-ku la-la chi-chi ha-ha!

- That's a hello, ditch.

- Come on, mice!

- Hey, female primate!

- You were told to stay at home!

What is this, a fish carcass?

- Well, stop!

-I'm not a female! I am an Artist!

- Stop, they tell you!

-Baron, let's make a fire in the yard, and then we'll burn down the house.

We were forbidden to leave.

(tense music)

-I am hair

grown for ten years.

And these are from the choir

abused me.

- Bitches! I told you: first they cut off the hair, and then - chik!

Get up, bro.

Let's go, Artist, show who offended you.

-Now they will be begging for mercy in unison.

Where are you going, primates?

-Baron, it's them.

-One more move-

and I will click on one point for you,

you sit on your ass and ask:

"Uncle-uncle, how did you do that?"

-Your mouse...

-And I!

And I!

And I!

-Don't bother me playing farm, I'm milking the cow.

-Give me some cognac?

-No. Hera said you have an addiction.

- I don't have an addiction.

I'm just thirsty.

Cognac.

- Husband forbade it!

What kind of husband is he to you? He doesn't love you at all.

He married you because of politics.

- And on you - out of pity.

-So.

No, the three of us will not get along.

-Yes?

And what do you suggest?

-Iya, we are 50 years old.

Let's solve the problem like grown-up friends.

Who is the last to the apple tree, he leaves the family.

-Agreed. - On the count of six.

Once...

Here is the ditch!

-Why are Hera and Jadwiga gone for so long?

“Maybe he took her back to Rumbling Waters?” -Klava!

- And I liked the Supreme Mother.

There is something in power sexually attractive.

- Stop it. -Homik.

- You both take a cue from Lucius.

Don't forget that you are primates.

-You are so powerful!

-I thought Two Hills was a small town, and we drove around it for 20 minutes!

-So how did you like it? - Wet park is great.

Especially the swing from the vines.

Okay, let's get to know each other now. with your wives?

(alert music)

-And you...

where... you know?

-Iya gave a live broadcast yesterday. In "Yabloklassnitsy".

Or what did you think

The Supreme Mother is not on the Internet?

- And Rada and Iya ... left.

-Where? - On a honeymoon.

According to tradition, after the wedding, the wives leave,

not to annoy her husband.

-Yes.

(energetic music)

- Swallow the dust!

-Glad!

(Schubert - "Ave Maria")

(Lucius) -A-ah-ah!

My seed spheres!

- Poor Lucius!

He was without a codpiece! -Quiet!

Hello, Kristina Yadvigovna...

-But this is moonshine. - It's cognac. -Glad!

-Daughter of Mother City suits drunken racing on Velikvagen.

The seed keepers represent primates.

The criminal is on the loose.

Elena Zoevna, what is going on with you in the city and where are the real primates?

- Yadviga Kristinovna, I couldn't risk it.

Primates are carriers of the patriarchal plague.

- Lead me to them.

-They can be more dangerous than you think.

(Muscovites, in chorus) - You will collect social points ...

-I'm a good mom...

-You're a good mom...

-Yes, that's enough!

Your mother, Lena, what's going on here?

-Hypocrisy.

-Stand up please. -Thank you.

You talk to us about democracy,

and they killed our brother.

-Yes!

-Quiet.

You talk to us about equality,

and you yourself open a cafe only for women.

We love cold lemonade too.

- You say that we abuse you, harass and rape.

So admire your "oppressors".

-as Supreme Mother

I am sorry for all the women of Mother Russia.

- Yadviga Kristinovna, but they arrange salivation,

flaunt their homo-supense sexuality, consume alcohol.

-Linen!

- If you are so disgusted by our culture, then we separate.

We create our male enclave with their own laws and regulations.

- But this is our city. -Actually up to Two Hills

here was Peredelkino Far.

And my grandfather was born and raised here.

Historically, this is our land. And you are our guest.

-Fair.

You will have an enclave.

And deal with these hooligans.

- Yadviga Kristinovna... -You have the Guardian Games on your nose!

- Homik!

(Artist) -Get out! Won-won-won!

- You said, your grandfather is from Vyazma... - Close the chute.

(out of breath) -Hello!

I'm sorry, but she threatened me.

She said - if I do not give cognac,

then she will print the ax on the printer.

-What? - Elena Zoevna,

It seems Rada has problems with alcohol.

-She has a problem with you.

Take her to the Independence Center.

-Husband?

And Torba told me about the wedding night.

When will we have it?

-Let's not today, okay?

-Sleep mode.

(Larisa) - I'm turning off.

-Well, how did you go?

How are the men? -Great.

I hope we don't have to hide soon.

-What? Here?

So good? -Yes.