Original subtitles

Knowing how untrained and untethered magic

could lead to disaster,

the one in Atlantis being the prime example,

the elders knew that they needed to nurture young magic.

The elders knew they needed to nurture young magic.

Billie.

Billie, are you listening to me?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. "Untethered magic, elders, yadda yadda yadda."

Okay, listen, if you're gonna take over the fight for the greater good,

I really don't think it's a bad idea if you know the history of good magic.

Hey, listen, Paige wanted me to teach you something good,

and I think you're kind of making me look bad right now.

Oh, come on, you could be teaching me tic-tac-toe, she wouldn't care.

She's happy you're getting me off her back for the day.

Okay, so the magical community knew it needed a place

to nurture young magic, so the elders created Magic School.

Yeah, you know, I'm just imagining a bunch of old farts in robes

lecturing on the moral implications of magic.

There's that.

There's also advanced courses in telekinesis, spell casting,

-potion making... -Wait, what?

Astral projection and medieval weaponry...

They really teach that stuff?

This is so cool.

Oh, sorry.

Okay, either there is a gremlin infestation in this house

or Wyatt's little orb-y fingers have gotten a hold of my jewelry.

Jewels? This early in the morning?

What's the occasion?

I have a coffee date, and I'm trying to get out of here

before Leo changes his mind about training Billie.

Nice try, little pirate. I see what you've got here.

Thanks a lot, matey.

Oh, Wyatt, honey, Mommy said no magic.

Well, it's good to know you are more worried

about him using magic than you are about him stealing.

Actually, I'm more concerned with him blowing our cover

with his school play coming up.

Not your cup of tea, huh?

No, I'm just a little out of practice, thank you.

Yeah, well, me too, hence the morning date.

Okay, here's my problem.

Do I pick a lipstick color that goes with my face or my alias' face?

Well, seeing as we're the only ones who can see the real you,

I'd go with pink.

I take it you're not liking this whole new you thing.

No, I guess I just miss the old me a little.

Why are you doing this online dating thing anyway?

You get asked out all the time.

Not anymore, not with me having to deal with Billie all the time.

Besides, not any riskier than what Phoebe's doing, right?

What do you mean?

I don't care how many charts she looks at

to see if Dex is the father of her future child.

He's still a player.

Oh, Paige.

What? It's true.

Even her own newspaper writes about it in the gossip column.

Yeah, I realize that,

but in the interest of sisterly harmony, I would really...

Hey, guys, did you hear the good news?

-Let me guess, Dex is the one? -Yep.

According to every magical calculation there is.

Not only that, but it all times out perfectly.

You know, my vision of us getting married,

when I'm supposed to get pregnant, all of it. He's the one.

Yeah, maybe you should just check that one more time.

I'm sorry?

What do you think of this snazzy costume?

Come on, sweetie. Don't you wanna be one of Cinderella's footmen?

Come... Okay, hang on a second.

Come on, what's wrong?

It's a good costume. Look, it's shiny...

What's the matter?

-I'll be right back. -There you go.

-Don't make a sad face. -Don't be nervous.

Hi, cutie pie, what's going on?

I don't know, he's never usually like this.

He just hates it. Maybe he's allergic to the fabric.

Or something could be sticking him?

A pin, a needle maybe?

Oh, no, no, I checked it.

That couldn't have been in there, really.

-He tried it on before and was fine. -It's okay.

You're doing the best you can, not being his real mom and all.

You're a distant cousin, right?

Oh, we're a little bit closer than you think.

Well, isn't that good to know.

-Here. -No, don't hit Johnny, no.

How's the other costume coming?

-The other...? -The pumpkin?

I want the mouse.

-It was on the info sheet I sent out. -I want the pumpkin.

The other costume, right.

It's all sewn up.

Great.

As long as it looks like the other boys'.

You know how kids can tease.

Okay, Wyatt, let's go work on that forest scene, okay?

Let's go.

Our little secret.

Looks can be deceiving,

but your picture on the dating site didn't do you justice.

Thank you. That's very nice.

So tell me what you do that keeps you so crazy busy.

-Did I say that I was? -No.

But I sense you're like me.

Old-fashioned at heart, not one to do the online dating thing,

but too swamped to meet people any other way.

Yeah. Well, you could say I haven't had a normal life in a while.

But I think that could be changing.

Good.

So, what do you do?

Well, I teach... Or taught.

Kind of at a special-needs school, if you will.

I tutor one-on-one now.

The girl's a real pain in the butt, let me tell...

Okay, over-sharing.

What do you do?

Okay. Well, where to start?

I find that the most exciting thing about market research is the variety.

I mean, the arenas we interface with,

whether it be the job's pharmaceutical validation or qualification,

FDA compliance, info tech, you name it.

First thing we do is we get a database in order.

Dex?

-Hey, babe. -Hey.

So I'm fine with color,

but if you can see if Jess can fit me in for a quick cut after my leg wax,

that would be great.

Sure. Do you want me to pick up some candles?

-You know, set the mood? -Great idea, yeah.

Make it a couple of dozen. Thanks.

Hey there. Bad time?

Hi. No, I'm just getting ready for my big date with Dex tomorrow.

Hey, weren't you on a date?

Yeah, that didn't go so well.

Oh, I know, it's hard.

I just got really lucky that Dex showed up at my funeral.

Yeah, right.

You've known him for what, all of a few weeks now?

Yeah, it's hard to believe, isn't it?

Yeah, I mean, how well do you really know him,

considering the "amount" of time you've actually spent together?

-Paige, where are you going with this? -Nowhere.

-I swear. -Okay.

Well, we've been through this before.

I didn't like Richard, you didn't like Cole.

But we promised each other

that we'd stay out of each other's love lives, right?

Okay, just answer me this. How well do you really know him?

Paige, please don't start.

Would it kill you just to slow things down, you know, a smidge?

You know, I can't slow things down.

Because of my premonitions.

They're not always literal.

But I still have to honor them, don't I?

-But... -Look, honey, I really like him.

And I really care about him, and he really cares about me, okay?

So don't worry, okay?

No, it's not okay.

Piper.

Look, I'm a little behind in the crafty department, okay?

I didn't have time to hone my skills

with a demon attacking every five minutes.

Still not a good idea.

You know what, it's a great idea.

While all those other mothers were out there

making cutesy costumes, I had my nose in this book.

So this book is gonna help me make a damn cute pumpkin outfit.

-What's up? -Oh, you know,

just soaking up knowledge. I'm a virtual sponge.

Good. Keep it up.

So, you know, hon, besides personal gain...

-Why are you so sweaty? -Oh, you know, those...

These Salem witch-hunts, and the lying and the burning,

it's just out of control.

Now that I'm all caught up, how about we hop on over to Magic School

and get some real education?

We can't, because Magic School being the hub of good magic,

you know, and we don't wanna expose ourselves.

Oh, and what is your wife doing?

Making up for lost time. Now zip it.

Actually, she is not gonna use magic to make Wyatt a costume.

Oh, no? Watch me.

You wanted a normal life, remember?

Okay, look, that was before I realized our son was gonna be humiliated

in front of his entire class.

Oh, you know, that happened to me all the time.

-Just made me stronger. -And shut it.

Okay, is this about Wyatt's humiliation or yours?

No. It's about Wyatt and the pageant and...

And you outdoing Mandi?

Fine.

No magic.

But I will still make the best damn pumpkin outfit ever.

And that woman will be sorry she tangled with me.

That is one desperate housewife.

Well?

I'm beginning to gain the boy's trust.

Once he knows it's safe to use his powers around me...

What's taking you so long?

You were supposed to have this cleaned days ago.

Yeah, well, it wasn't easy as we thought. It's a lot more...

I don't wanna hear any more excuses, do you understand me?

We need to create a comfortable place for the boy.

A familiar place.

Or else he'll never do what I want him to do.

Don't let that thing die.

Not until after I'm done using it to get Wyatt.

Okay, honey, I know this is not the morning for this to happen,

but the coffeemaker's on the fritz.

Oh, that's okay. Do you want me to make you some tea instead?

-Tea? -Yeah, it's no problem.

I was just cleaning up.

Well, you are in a surprisingly chipper mood

for someone who hasn't slept all night.

Well, I had to finish Wyatt's pumpkin costume, didn't I?

-And did you finish? -Absolutely.

You know, actually, being a supermom can be surprisingly satisfying.

Don't forget, you're really his super legal guardian.

Yes, and are there any other soft spots you'd like to poke at while you're here?

Honey, I'm sorry.

Oh, it's no big deal.

I think at least Wyatt knows who his mother really is.

Of course he does. He sees you as Piper, we all do.

Yeah, but it's gotta be confusing for him,

especially because all of his classmates

think I'm his cousin, his distant cousin.

Look, he's just gonna have to get used to the way things are.

Hey, you wanna hear my plan on how to save Phoebe from Dex?

Oh, come on, Paige.

Do we really need this in our lives right now?

Do we really need our sister marrying a cheater?

Well, it was just a kiss, right?

So maybe it was his sister?

That's disgusting.

-Sisters don't kiss brothers like that. -Paige.

Look, all I'm gonna do is find out who she really is.

Phoebe's never gonna know.

She's gonna kill you.

She's gonna thank me.

All right, my dear, have a great time at the play.

Thanks.

How do you like me now?

We're close.

Pretty elaborate ritual you got us doing here.

When do I get to know who you're planning to conjure?

You don't get to know.

Actually, I think I do.

Especially since I'm the only one

who knows how to bring back a demon from the wasteland.

If you were the only one, I wouldn't need the boy, now would I?

Why do you need him?

What does he offer?

He offers power.

A power neither you or I possess.

A power I'm going to need

if I'm going to bring back the demon I have in mind.

Tempus?

Barbas?

-Zankou? -When it's time...

Now, or I stop what I'm doing.

You dare challenge me?

No. I just think I have the right to know what we're dealing with, that's all.

Especially considering the inherent risk involved

with kidnapping the son of a Charmed One.

I'm not kidnapping him.

I'm offering him a new home, a family,

a place to express his full potential.

Even if you lure him in here,

what makes you think he'll stay?

Because I'm going to replace the mommy he lost,

and The Source will replace his daddy.

The Source?

We can't bring him back.

You're right, we can't.

Not without Wyatt, anyway.

Any other questions?

I'm sorry, is that yours?

Is your name Sylvia too?

Sylvia.

That's so funny, I thought I recognized you.

How are you?

Fine, great.

Yeah, thanks.

You don't remember me, do you?

That's okay, it was a long time ago when we met. Kind of a crowded party.

-Dex introduced us, actually. -Oh, Dex, right.

-I'm sorry, I don't remember meeting... -Jo.

Jo Bennet. I'm an art dealer.

Really? So am I, what firm?

Well, I deal mostly with private collectors,

you know, kind of hush-hush transactions,

stuff like that... How is Dex?

Dex is good, I guess.

Yeah, he just had a show last week.

It went really well, he's got some good stuff.

Great, great. Are you two still going out?

Dex and I? No. No, not anymore.

Really? Are you sure about that?

Yeah, I think I'd remember that.

Why are you asking?

Oh, probably just a little strange thing.

I was actually here, you know, yesterday,

and I thought I saw you two kissing.

Oh, yeah, that.

You know, that was nothing. We were just saying hello.

-We broke up months ago. -That's great.

No, that's awful. Sorry about that.

It was fun while it lasted.

You know, it still is fun once in a while, actually,

if you, you know, include the breakup sex.

Breakup sex?

Yeah, is there anything better?

Listen, I gotta run. It was nice seeing you again.

Yeah, it was real nice seeing you.

What do you mean he's not a pumpkin?

I can't imagine how it slipped my mind.

We decided mice costumes would be more comfortable.

Oh, but Wyatt's really excited about being a pumpkin.

Oh, poor thing.

Maybe the problem is the green thing on his head.

-Princess, you look like a princess. -The green thing is the stem.

The stem of the pumpkin I was up all night making.

And it's a cute pumpkin, really.

Well, I think he should wear it.

But this isn't about you now, is it?

-Excuse me? -Ladies.

We all want the children to be happy, don't we?

Especially Wyatt.

-He's been through so much lately. -And losing his mother and all.

We don't wanna traumatize him any further.

Oh, no, he's not traumatized.

I mean, he has me.

And you're doing the very best job you can.

-Considering... -Considering what?

How new you are at this. How overworked you must be.

She's right. You do look exhausted.

I'm fine, and Wyatt's fine. We're all fine.

Now, if you'll just excuse me...

Sweetie, if you're worried about the mouse costume,

I can whip one up for Wyatt in a jiffy.

I can jiffy-whip one up myself, actually.

Really, it's no problem.

You've done quite enough already.

Right.

Leo?

Please tell me there's a demon somewhere,

because I really need to blow something up.

Sorry, everything's fine, except Billie wants to go to Magic School.

What? No.

That's what I told her too.

That woman is out to get me.

Look, Piper, I think she's defiant, but I think her intentions are good.

Well, she may seem nice and sweet,

but there is something deeply tweaked beneath the surface.

-Come on, Piper, I don't think Billie... -No, not Billie, Mandi.

The Miss Too-Good-To-Be-True I've been griping about.

Not only is she getting more cloyingly perfect with every moment,

but now she is actually out to get me.

Don't be ridiculous.

I wish I could just blow her up.

Look, Piper, you can't blow her up. She's not a demon.

No, she's worse than a demon, she's a room mom.

It's time to come home now, honey, okay?

Hi. All right, what'd she say? We're going to Magic School or what?

Well, she said what I thought. She said, "No, it's too dangerous."

Come on, do you always listen to what she says?

You guys used to live and breathe danger.

Right. And now we're retired.

Exactly, you're off being Ozzie and Harriet.

It's my job to pick up the slack around here. I need to learn quick.

And Magic School has books and apothecary

and really bitchen weapons.

Which you can read about in the textbooks.

I'm done reading.

-I'm going to Magic School. -How?

-I'm a quick study. -Okay, wait, we'll get...

Exposed. You did it.

I did? How cool.

Something's not right.

Well, who are they? Are they students?

No, they're demons.

Demons? What are demons doing here?

Taking over.

Okay, this is bad. This is really bad.

He's kind of cute though.

No, they're not cute, okay?

They're demons. Do you understand what that means?

-Hurt, maim, kill? -A lot of monosyllables, got it.

No, you don't have it. If they've taken over, they have access to everything.

Spells, maps, weapons...

You know, these might come in handy.

With everything here, they can wipe us all out.

Whitelighters, elders, gnomes...

-Witches? -Everything.

Okay, fine, what do we do?

We gotta get out of here, fast.

All right, let's go.

All right, so you brought the extra potion, right?

No.

You're kidding.

Do I look like I think ahead?

Come on, you used to run the place.

-How did you get back and forth? -Paige orbed me.

Okay, there is a spell in one of these books, if we can find it.

Okay, I'm listening.

Okay, here's what we're gonna do.

Okay, don't move, don't say a word.

Nice.

-Give me a hand? -What are you doing?

If you can't beat them, join them.

Leo?

Leo?

Let's see.

What do we have in here?

Oh, boy.

Well, you don't wanna eat this dry, yucky sandwich

your guardian made, do you?

Dumb old cousin.

Dumb old guardian.

Here you go.

You can have this.

Right?

-Mommy. -Mommy?

Oh, sweetheart.

Listen, I know you miss your mommy.

But I'm here.

And I love when you do your magic.

I do.

In fact,

why don't we just orb this poo-poo sandwich

right into that trash can?

Can you do that?

No one's watching.

Look at that.

Good boy, good boy.

Good job.

Let's do that again.

Okay, okay. For Phoebe.

I created this one as a companion to the one I already sold you.

Hi, Sylvia.

Hope I'm not interrupting.

-Actually, if you could just give us... -It's all right, we can come back.

-Are you sure? I'm sure... -We need to think about it anyway.

We'll call you.

Thanks for coming by.

Let me know what you're thinking.

I hope I didn't screw up a sale.

What are you doing here, Sylvia?

What, I'm fine in the sack, but I don't rate a work visit?

-What? -Please.

Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about.

I don't know what you're talking about.

How quickly they forget.

Okay, look, here's the deal, buster.

It's over, all right?

Finito, no más, yesterday's news, got it?

No, not really.

Do I have to spell this out for you?

I am done with the breakup sex.

It's not fair to me or anybody else

that you might be seeing at the moment, understand?

-Yeah, but... -Forget it. No more freebies.

It's time to make an honest man out of yourself.

-Be true to the one you love. -What the hell are you talking about?

You know damn well what I'm talking about.

We haven't slept together in over two months.

-We haven't? -No.

Do I lie a lot?

It's why we broke up.

Dex, hey.

Phoebe.

Excuse me?

Freebies. We were just talking about freebies.

-Julie, Sylvia. -Hi, nice to meet you.

Yeah, you too.

Oh, gosh, look at the time. I gotta go.

Nice meeting you. Take care, bye-bye.

Ex-girlfriend.

Would you just leave it alone? It looks hot.

Really? Thanks, I think.

Hey, watch it, buddy.

Are you trying to get us killed?

We're supposed to be evil, not wimps.

-Okay, let's just find the spell, okay? -Fine.

Everything's out of order.

What is?

The books.

Nothing's where it's supposed to be.

What do you think they're doing?

I don't know, but I don't wanna hang ar...

Wyatt.

Welcome home, sweetie pie.

-You wanna play with the toys? -Yeah.

Come over here.

How did she even get Wyatt?

I should have let Piper blow her up.

What, you know her?

Yeah, she's Wyatt's room mom, or so she said she was.

Wanna play with the helicopter?

What does she want with him?

-Wait, what...? Where are you going? -I'm going to see my son.

Are you insane? Look around, you're gonna get us killed.

You're gonna get me killed.

We gotta get out of here. We gotta get help.

Feels good to be back at Magic School, doesn't it?

It's where you belong.

-Is everything ready? -Yes.

Although, are you sure you know what you're doing?

The boy trusts me.

-Otherwise, he would have orbed me... -I wasn't talking about the boy.

I was talking about The Source.

Found it.

Who's The Source?

The Source?

I'm just saying, he could be pretty pissed.

After all, he never thought the Charmed Ones could vanquish him.

I'll handle him.

-How? -I'm bringing him back from the dead,

aren't I?

He'll owe me.

Plus, he'll have a son of the Charmed One

to raise as his very own.

What better revenge is there than that?

The spell's on page 86. You gotta get out of here.

-You want me to go by myself? Why? -I'm not leaving my son.

You don't have powers. I have powers, I should stay.

Listen, there is nothing worse than The Source, do you understand me?

I can't leave my son alone.

Okay. Just be careful.

Are you sure another family member didn't pick him up?

Of course I'm sure. Otherwise, I wouldn't be freaking out right now.

Okay, okay. Here, see?

Nothing to worry about. Wyatt is with Mandi.

Mandi?

You let him go with Mandi?

Well, she has sort of been looking out for him lately.

I'm sure he's having the time of his life with her son as we speak.

Really?

Then why is her son still here?

-She would never... -Well, that's not like Mandi.

She's a demon!

Jealousy is an ugly, ugly thing.

You crazy witch!

That was you, I know it.

-I was just trying to protect you. -How, by posing as his ex?

-I thought he was cheating on you. -What? I told you to stay out of it.

-I saw him kiss her. -What?

Wyatt's been kidnapped, and Leo's missing.

Seven years of doing this stuff,

I should've known something wasn't right with Mandi.

Nobody's that perfect, not even her.

But she has a child and a husband.

That's why I think a demon possessed her to get to Wyatt.

-Somebody start scrying for him. -Fine, I'm going, I'm going.

Okay, I'm gonna work on the vanquishing potion,

you work on the depossession spell.

I can't believe I let her take him right out from under my nose.

What was I doing?

It's okay, we're gonna get him back.

How? He could be anywhere.

-He's at Magic School. -Hey, where did you come from?

And how do you know that?

I came from there. Leo stayed behind to keep an eye on Wyatt.

-Why are you wearing that? -Well, if I wasn't, I would be dead.

There's demons everywhere, taking over the place.

What? How?

Who cares? What do they want with Wyatt?

They need him to help bring back The Source.

Okay, Leo looked just like that when he heard that name.

Who is this guy? I mean, how do we nail him?

You don't. We do.

You're not ready, trust me.

Well, ladies, how are we enjoying our demon-free existence now?

You can use all the magic you want here.

Whatever you want, whenever you want. Isn't that fun?

But first, I want you to help me bring back a special friend of ours.

Somebody who's going to be very, very happy to see you, okay?

Yeah.

All right.

Good. It'll be easy, I'll show you.

Don't you want The Source to know the real you?

So he knows you're a demon?

I don't want to risk scaring the child.

Stand back.

Ready?

Okay.

We call to you that away was torn

Return master of all evil born

Put your finger in it.

It'll make some really neat magic.

-My lord. -Where am I?

Who brought me back?

We did.

It was me, actually, who brought you back.

Why?

Why else?

Power.

Yours, mine, his.

One big, unstoppable happy family.

What possible power could he have that I might covet?

Charmed power. That's right.

He is the first-born, the prophecy.

-How did you get him away? -The Charmed Ones are dead.

I'm sorry to spoil your fun.

I'm sure you would have wanted revenge.

Although our raising him as evil

might be even better, don't you think?

You got it all worked out, don't you?

Except for one thing.

Why do I need you?

Because every mortal boy needs his mommy.

And I'm sure you would enjoy being the head of a demonic dynasty.

What's your name, little boy?

Let him be.

What did you say?

You don't wanna scare him. He's not used to our kind.

Who are you? I've never seen you before.

I've been here.

I've also been at the boy's house with Zankou.

Is that a fact?

It's how he knows me, obviously.

He seems to more than just know you.

Leave us.

Who are you?

Billie was right. It's demon central.

Just trying to help you with the kid, that's all.

Now, why don't I believe that?

We gotta hurry. Leo's in trouble.

Well, how are we gonna stop The Source if we have no potions?

It's gonna take a lot more than potions.

How'd you do it last time?

Not the same way we're gonna do it this time.

You have a plan?

Yeah, and it starts with Mandi.

If you don't trust him, just kill him.

Then we'll go on a family outing,

slaughter a few innocents, have a picnic.

There's not a drop of evil in him.

He's not a demon at all!

This is too good to be true...

...Daddy.

What?

Wait.

-What happened? Who did this? -We did.

I should have known the Charmed Ones

weren't really dead.

Only you've gone soft in my absence.

Without The Hollow, you can't hurt me.

Oh, really?

Hey, cupcake.

No!

Talk about your ball and chain.

I don't really understand. How did you...?

Well, she conjured him, so they're connected.

-She goes, he goes. -For eternity now.

Okay, well, we probably should get out of here

before any other demons recognize us.

What are we gonna do with her?

Oh, come on, we don't need to save her.

What? She's still too perky.

-Hey there. -Hi.

What are you still doing up?

Oh, I'm just studying.

Yeah, well, maybe you should give it a bit of a rest for tonight.

Oh, thanks, but I just wanna look up a few more things.

You know, I didn't realize I had to learn how to vanquish vanquished demons.

Yeah, well, that's the funny thing about here.

Nobody really stays dead for long.

Yeah, I'm noticing that.

-Oh, wait, Paige. -Yeah?

Are you guys worried at all about demons being at Magic School?

Like, what can they do there?

Yeah, we are pretty worried.

So, in that case, maybe you should stay up

and study a little longer.

Dex, hey. What are you doing here?

I was hoping we could talk.

Yeah, of course, come on in.

Look, I wanted to apologize for what happened earlier.

Apologize?

About Sylvia and I, I mean.

You know, I don't think that you need to explain yourself about any of that.

No, I do.

No, I think I have a pretty good idea of what was going on.

Actually, you don't. Not completely.

I mean, there's nothing going on between Sylvia and I anymore, really.

Okay, then why...?

We broke up a while ago,

but I've sort of been staying in contact with her.

Staying in contact.

Look, I should have probably made a cleaner break than I did,

but I guess I didn't realize that till today.

I'm not looking for anybody else in my life right now, Julie.

I just want you.

Forgive me?

Hold that thought.

Hi.

Don't mind me, I was just...

I was just coming to say good night.

No, you weren't.

-But thank you. -For what?

For butting in.

Well, you're welcome.

Just don't do it again.

-Hey, how you doing? -I'm doing good.

Hey, how's it going?

Hey, is this new?

Yeah, yeah, just picked it up.

Pinch me.

Why?

Because I can't believe we're actually going to see

a real-life, normal school play.

Hard to believe.

Yeah.

Still, you know, we should let Wyatt blow off some magical steam

every now and then.

Good idea.

See Mandi over there?

Yeah.

If she only knew.

She might.

Maybe on some cellular level.

It might make her more likeable.

I doubt it.

Doesn't get more perfect than this.