Original subtitles

♪ There's 104 days of summer vacation ♪

♪ and school comes along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem for our generation ♪

♪ is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy ♪

♪ or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something that doesn't exist ♪ Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪ It's over here!

♪ Finding a dodo bird Painting a continent ♪

♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪ Phineas!

♪ As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do ♪

♪ before school starts this fall ♪ Come on, Perry.

♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪

♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪

Mom!!

Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

What have we got so far?

I've got a bottle cap and a brass nail.

Two bottle caps and a nail. A washer, a hinge, and a nail.

I've got a nickel and a piece of brass!

No, wait, it's a nail.

You never know what you're going to find.

I do. Another nail.

Or a bottle cap. Hi, Phineas. Whatcha doin'?

We're looking for stuff with Dad's steam-powered metal detector.

Wow. An antique that locates other antiques.

Oh! We've got another one.

Cool. Let me dig it up. Oh, there's a good lad.

Wait. It's not a nail, it's a coin!

Well, let's have a look then, huh?

Oh, yes, I've seen this before.

It's a commemorative coin from the 1903 Danville World's Fair.

Many steam-driven devices were introduced to the world back then.

It must've been quite an event!

♪ Welcome to the future, all you forward-thinking socialites ♪

♪ Delightful world of steam so bright ♪

♪ Change your life overnight ♪

♪ Behold, this lady's hair brush This motor-powered cow ♪

♪ If you don't know how this gizmo works ♪

♪ I'll try to show you how ♪

♪ It's robotic kitchens, prototypes, a singing kettle ♪

♪ You'll love this nut and turtle shell made of living metal ♪

♪ You'll never need to settle for yesterday's future ♪

♪ We've borrowed from tomorrow ♪ ♪ Steam power, it's so super! ♪

♪ Welcome to a brave new world! ♪ ♪ My word! ♪

♪ The future is an amazing time for you to climb aboard ♪

♪ Welcome to a brand-new day ♪ Hurray! ♪

♪ Everything will change Time for me to show the way ♪

Step in closer, I've got so much to show you.

♪ A robotic rooster starts the morning ♪

♪ And a rocket-powered cycle takes you skyward, and you're soaring ♪

♪ Till you fall towards a lovely picnic made of future food ♪

♪ Steam-powered sandwiches, useful speaking fruits ♪

♪ You're living in your prime, catching lightning in a jar ♪

♪ Robot butlers keep you tidy, no matter where you are ♪

♪ The future runs like clockwork, and you'll never need to stress ♪

♪ You really can't afford it That's the price of steam progress! ♪

♪ Welcome to a brave new world ♪ ♪ My word! ♪

♪ The future is amazing Time for you to climb aboard ♪

♪ Welcome to a brand-new day ♪ ♪ Hurray! ♪

♪ Everything will change Time for me to show the way ♪

You there, sir!

Yes, you there, with the excellent hat and that hair.

You're clearly a man of taste. Step up here, would you?

Take a look at this marvelous machine.

Wow! The future's gonna be amazing!

Flying machines, household electrification,

steam-powered submarines!

Personally, I'm looking forward to cheese that comes in aerosol cans.

Still hard at work, Dad? Well, hello there, my young fellows!

Find anything good yet? Oh, just some old Civil War coins.

The Union assault against the sunken road

eventual pierced the Confederate center,

but the Federal advantage was

Dad? I'm sorry, we've got, uh, chores to do.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Go ahead, boys.

Don't let me stop you.

As I was saying...

♪ Oh, I'm a trudging to get some water down this old and dusty road ♪

♪ I reckon there'll be more someday than just tree sticks and... ♪

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

You should be doing your farm chores.

Milking the cows, mending the fences, shucking the corn,

plowing the fields, and milking the cows again.

You can't just stand around, you know?

Actually, Candace, we were thinking about a way

to do our chores using modern steam technology.

We learned all about it at the World's Fair.

Oh, did you now? Well, if I didn't have to haul water,

sweep the barn, collect eggs, spin a quilt,

and do whatever this is, I'd tell Mom.

I wonder if she knows those buckets have holes in them?

Hello, boys. We would like to inquire as to

what you are doing at this moment?

Well, like we were just telling Candace, we were just about to create

a steam-powered machine that would help with our...

Hey, where's Sweary?

Found him! Found him!

Oh, there you are, Sweary the Swan.

Man, that pet of yours gives me the creeps!

Oh, come on, Buford. You know swans don't do much.

Don't do much? The beak bite on my butt begs to differ.

Good morning, Agent S. This is Major Megaburns.

Your archenemy, Professor von Doofenshmirtz,

has been spotted creating something evil in his laboratory.

Go check it out.

Perhaps Sweary would wanna try my steam-powered jetpack.

It's very heavy and full of boiling-hot water.

Hey, wait a minute! How come your zoetrope image

is so much cooler than mine?

It's not cooler, sir, it's just got more frames.

♪ Doofenshmirtz Doofenshmirtz, Doofenshmirtz ♪

♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Amalgamated ♪

Ah, Sweary the Swan!

How completely unforeseen is your...

Uh, hang on a second.

Ah, that's better. Sweary the Swan!

How completely unforeseen is your presence here.

And by that, I mean, completely foreseen!

Hey, no bites.

I've got a little something for you.

Well, hello there!

Allow me to introduce to you my sidekick, Pneumatic Pnorman.

And both of those are spelt with a "P." You know, the...

the "P's" are silent. I don't even know why

they put 'em in there if they're not gonna pronounce it.

It's just a waste of a good letter.

That's what it is. But I babble. Back on topic...

Shall I put this cucumber in the salad, sir?

That's not a cucumber, Pnorm. I'm sorry about that, Sweary.

He has problems identifying objects.

Pnorm, that's a swan, and we're going to tie him to the railroad tracks.

How melodramatic!

Wow! Do you preen your feathers with that mouth?

They should call you S...

Oh! Oh, I get it! Sweary the Swan.

Okay, we're all set, Ferb. Start her up.

Shuck the corn!

Milk the cows!

Mend the fences!

And lastly, plow and seed the field.

I feel like I've been carrying these buckets all summer!

I'll never get to the fair in time to meet Jeremy!

Hey, Candace!

Is that a steam-powered chore-doing device?

You are so going to get it!

Get back here, you steam punks!

Sorry, Candace, it won't stop till we run out of coal!

I shall go fetch Mother! Ma!

Sweary the Swan, did you know that the World's Fair is in town?

They have all of this amazing new technology. Here, look.

It's all represented here on this commemorative coin that I got.

Ow! Now, look what you did.

You made me drop it. Pnorman, go find that coin.

It's probably right at your feet, sir.

I can't bend over without pulling my axles out of alignment.

Yeah, whatever, think of something.

Anyway, like I was saying before you bit my thumb,

down at the fair they have all these neat, new

steam-powered gizmos that they plan to use for progress.

Normally, I wouldn't mind, but they're also attaching a lot of hope

and optimism to progress, and that's something I will not put up with.

So, I've built a big monster machine

to smash their World's Fair to bits!

Behold! It's an evil swan! It's a...

It's a big swan. It's like you, but,

you know, bigger and hammer-ier.

It's got more hammers than you do.

Plus, it runs on the new technology of steam!

Sir, I found your coin.

That's not a coin. That's my daughter, you dolt!

No wonder she wouldn't fit in the gumball machine.

You hear that, Sweary the Swan?

That is the sound of...

Aerosol cheese!

We didn't hear what you said!

Oh, for...

Ma! Oh, these new gadgets are so complicated.

Up and down, and up and down and up...

Ma! Ma! Ma! The boys!

Machine to do their chores! Not fair!

Oh, my! That sounds exciting.

I'll come have a look as soon as I'm done doing whatever this is.

I don't believe it! A fuzzy doll in the shape of a bear?

It's the end of decency.

You never believed in me or anthropomorphism.

Everybody, run! It's a big hammery swan!

Ha! Soon you will all see the power of my...

We can't hear you!

Look! A huge, rampaging, steam-powered hammery swan!

If only there was a way we could record this event.

Auguste, you have just invented the moving

picture documentary. Quickly, mood music!

This sure is a lot of shucked corn and fresh milk.

All in an afternoon's work.

Aren't you a bit young to be industrial revolutionaries?

Yes. Yes, we are.

As a simple farmer from a bygone age, that's good enough for me.

All right, Spartacus, let's get these goods to market,

and then it's back to the bookcase for you.

All our chores are done and it's still light out.

What else do you guys wanna do today?

We could drink lemonade and sit on the porch.

We could go to Panama and start digging.

We could formally begin courting.

What? Nothing.

They built a giant machine that does their chores.

It shucks the corn, and it shoots seeds out of a Gatling go...

But, but, but... Candace, it's 1903.

We do not use that word!

No, no, no, you're not getting my best side.

But here, let me show you my worst side!

What? Sweary the Swan!

Ah, you wanna play swan-chicken, huh?

Oh, no. Get back here!

Oh, no! He's using the old foie gras maneuver.

Curse you, Sweary the Swan!

And that's the way it was at the Danville World's Fair.

A giant steam-powered hammering swan?

Come on, Dad. That sounds a little far-fetched

for the time period, doesn't it?

Oh, yes. Yes, it does.

Man, how long was I up there?

Come on gang. Let's get started on building our mega-mondo...

Ah! No can do, dinner bell. It's family day,

and the Van Stomms from the low countries are visiting.

Buford is outtie, G. Well, that's a bummer,

but we can come up with some workarounds.

So if you two... No can do, Phineas.

I am taking an East Indian cooking class.

We are going to make goat vindaloo.

If we can ever find a goat.

Oh, there is one now! Got to run!

Well, good luck!

Well, the plans will still work with just three of us.

I'm afraid your plans will have to wait

until after Ferb's dental appointment.

Come on, honey. Time to go. All right.

Wow, I've never seen Ferb so nervous.

Hmm... Well, I guess it's just the two of us, huh?

Isabella, are you all right?

Oh. Oh, yeah. We could spend the day together.

That would be fun. Whatever. Let's see, with only two of us,

we'd have to reallocate some weight in order to...

Hmm. Well, maybe if we just reduce the amount of...

Nope, that won't fly either.

You know, this is a lot harder without Ferb around.

But he never says anything.

It's not what he doesn't say, it's how he doesn't say it.

Well, I could get the Fireside Girl Manual for inspiration.

That sounds great! Thanks!

Wow, even Perry's gone. But that's pretty normal.

♪ Dooby, dooby doo, bah Dooby, dooby, doo, bah ♪

♪ Perry! ♪

I see you've taken our new breakfast-themed lair entrance.

It's the most important lair entrance of the day.

Anyhoo, OWCA has surveillance footage

of Doofenshmirtz raiding thrift store dollar bins.

We're not sure if it's evil, but it's... well, it's just kind of pathetic.

Get to the bottom of this and stop Doof's potential

poverty-driven criminal freak-out!

And, uh, how about you pick up a cup of coffee for him on your way over?

It's on me. Use some petty cash.

I feel bad for the poor guy.

The Fireside Phone!

Gretchen at the ready, ma'am. Commence debriefing.

Gretchen, we have a Code Pink!

Romeo is alone! Repeat, Romeo is alone!

Roger that. Don't panic, we're on our way.

Reporting for duty, ma'am.

The troop is establishing the mobile tactical headquarters as we speak.

Nice hustle.

I know, right? With Phineas and Ferb split up for the day,

it's practically a vacation!

Yes, I know we're already on summer vacation, Stace.

I was just... What? A Fireside Girls Mobile Tactical Unit?

Sorry, Stace! Gotta go!

Okay, what are you doing and what does it have to do with my brothers?

Um, it's something of a delicate matter.

Romeo is all go! Delicate?

Well, you might not know,

but I have a little bit of a crush on Phineas.

"Little" being subjective.

Stand down, Fireside Girl. Totally get the crush thing.

You know, I don't quite get the Phineas thing.

I mean, you do realize his head is a triangle?

Yeah. It's so acute. Whatever. I have got your back, sister.

I will stay out of the yard and keep Mom out of the way, too.

Like that should be difficult.

Oh, it's you, Perry the Platypus.

What, for me? Oh! That's a nice gesture, thanks.

And you even used the doorbell,

instead of just crashing through like you usually do.

I really appreciate this, Perry the Platypus,

'cause, you know, money's a little tight lately.

I can't even rub two nickels together.

Although, if I had two nickels,

I don't think I would sit and rub them together.

It's... Oh, oh, yeah, you're...

you're trapped, Perry the Platypus.

It's quick-hardening, non-dairy creamer.

Like I said, I'm on a budget.

I know what you're thinking, Perry the Platypus.

How could this happen to such a with-it guy like Heinz Doofenshmirtz?

Well, my ex-wife Charlene is out of the country

on one of those extreme eco-cultural exploration vacations.

I don't know what they do on those trips,

but I imagine it's very expensive.

Oh, she's got some nerve!

That's my alimony she's throwing away.

And the worst is, she keeps texting me these pics.

Oh, come on, really?

Anyway, the problem is, I've

already spent this month's alimony on my new inator.

And now I don't have enough money left to send Vanessa

to the Grievance Movie Marathon she wants to see.

They're playing all the Grievance movies in order.

They got The Grievance, they've got Grievance 2: The Gripe,

Grievance 3: Bone to Pick,

and Grievance 4: The Revenge of the Italian Jug Band.

Yeah, I don't think that last one is canon.

Oh, what kind of father am I?

Oh! Oh, the shame is overwhelming.

I can't even enjoy using my new Teleport-inator.

Nah, nah. I'm just not in the mood. Maybe tomorrow.

And it was such a stellar plan, too.

I was gonna use it to send City Hall,

and consequently my brother, Roger,

back to Drusselstein and out of his mayoral jurisdiction.

No fuss, no muss. Just "bzzt" and he's gone instantly.

If only it were that easy

to get Vanessa to the movie theater.

Wait... Wait a second!

I could just add another setting to my Teleport-inator

and send Vanessa directly to the theater and completely

bypass those ridiculously inflated movie ticket prices.

Oh, man, am I good! That deserves a victory sip!

Ugh! Wait, what is this? Decaf?

It's like you don't even know me!

All right, Fireside Girls, initiating Operation Perfect Picnic.

Roger that!

Well, looks like the operation is in Phase Two,

and I am gonna make myself scarce.

Cadet Flynn is out. Peace!

Here we go. Well, let's just take a look...

You know, I'm kind of hungry. Well, then why not just have a picnic?

Wow! What a great idea!

And I just happen to have a picnic basket right here!

Ooh, she's good.

Wow! Way to be prepared, Isabella!

Just doing my Fireside Girl thang.

I packed it with some Mexican-Jewish delicacies, like...

Gefilte-flan! It wobbles!

Ew! Ew!

That looks ridiculous.

Oh, no, we've got a Code Irving!

Strike team, deploy!

Let's see what else I've got.

Did you hear something?

Nope.

Mission accomplished.

Hello, ladies!

The fox hops over the log, the rabbit crawls under the log...

Okay, got it! Now, to send...

And now, to send my daughter to the movies!

No, see, it just doesn't work in this instance.

You know what, you guys just take the rest of the day off.

You wanna go see a movie? Yeah, sure.

How about Grievance 4?

Hey, Vanessa, pumpkin pants, can you come in here for a second?

Good news, sweetie. I can send you to the movies after all!

Really, Dad, it's no big deal.

♪ Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo! ♪

♪ Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo! ♪

I did it! And now that my Super Dad status is intact,

it's time to take care of business!

And by "business," I mean evil!

It's time to set my sights on city...

Hmm... Oh, now I get it.

Huh. I didn't count on an oscillate function.

Somehow, I don't think this bodes well for my plan.

That one's one of my own creations. I call it the enchillatke.

It was delicious.

Now, here we are. Gladys, we have a runner.

Hey, Ferb! You're back!

Brilliant! See what I mean, Isabella?

Yeah, it's how he doesn't say it.

Let's get to work. This will be the biggest picnic ever!

I'll get the tools.

All right, girls, Union Jack is back.

Operation Perfect Picnic is now Operation Ginormous,

Nonromantic, Overblown Picnic.

Al flabahem abla flapabla.

It's all right, big guy. You guys just do what you do.

Looks like we're gonna need a change of venue.

How about the park?

What do you know, no more Perry the Platypus.

Transported to some random location somewhere.

Ow!

Ahhh! Ow!

Thanks for introducing me

to the ironic enjoyment of Ducky Momo, Candace.

Ironic, yeah!

So, your dad was really raised by wild ocelots?

OMG, I wish that was the weirdest thing about my family.

Candace? Oh. You know, amusement parks really

aren't my thing, but knock yourself out, girl!

♪ Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo ♪

♪ He's your very best friend ♪

Okay. I said I'd give them space for a romantic picnic.

That is not a romantic picnic!

That is bust-town, USA.

♪ Here's where I'll make my final stand ♪

♪ I'm gonna bust my brothers down in picnic land ♪

♪ In picnic land ♪

♪ It'll be a pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! ♪

♪ A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! ♪

♪ A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! ♪

♪ A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! ♪

♪ I can bust them at the grill or the hot dog on the hill ♪

♪ A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! ♪

♪ I can take 'em at the waffle tram with a side of double ham ♪

♪ A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! ♪

♪ This is gonna be my finest hour ♪

♪ 'Cause now I'm gonna bust the boys with picnic power ♪

♪ It'll be a pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! ♪

♪ A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! ♪

♪ A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! ♪

♪ A pic-a-nic-a-nic ♪

I am so gonna relish this bust! Ma!

Honey, it'll have to wait.

I've got to go pick up Ferb from the dentist.

Ma! Ferb's here. At the park.

Oh, well, he must've gotten out early. I'm on my way.

Try our famous Tjinder family vindaloo.

No, no, try our Van Stomm family bitterballen.

Try the vindaloo! Bitterballen!

Vindaloo! Bitterballen!

Hey, you got your bitterballen in my vindaloo.

And you got your vindaloo all over my bitterballen.

I wonder if these two great tastes will taste great together?

Nah, we should kill this with fire. Agreed.

Ahh!

Help! Ow!

What happened?

Something just happened! I smell bitterballen!

Where are we? Hey, not bad!

I could totally go for a mid-afternoon nosh. What are you doing?

Curse you, Perry the...

Over here! You got to see this! Oh, Candace, you're right.

I am? That is just adorable.

What? Wow, I don't know where it all went.

It's a good thing we brought our own basket, huh?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Come on, Candace. Let's go home.

But-but-but, a whole park!

Yep, and just the two of them. I get it. But, ew.

♪ Bring on Ducky Ducky Momo ♪

♪ bring on Ducky Ducky Momo ♪

♪ who's the happy-time toy-toy ♪

♪ for every girl and boy-boy? ♪

♪ Who's the fuzzy enjoyment? ♪

♪ Make fun with Ducky Momo! ♪

♪ Bring on Ducky Ducky Momo ♪

♪ Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo ♪

♪ he's your very best friend ♪

♪ Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo ♪

♪ he's your very best friend! ♪