Original subtitles

- Hans? Where'd you go?

Downloaded from YTS.MX

(rustling) Tommy?

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

You're gonna get it!

(rustling)

(twigs cracking)

(banging)

(banging)

(police radio)

- Where'd they go? Kids don't leave s'mores in the fire.

- This is an island. They've gotta be somewhere.

- Well, nothing's gotta be somewhere,

but we need to search the woods. Ever play hide and seek at camp?

- Yeah. So far, these kids are pretty good at it.

¶¶¶

(inaudible talking)

- Five s'mores a day, max.

- Hey, can you show me how to make one of those?

- I think it's best if you boys stay away from fire this summer.

- Come on, Mom, we apologized. - "I'm sorry" doesn't cut it when you burn down the garage.

- OK, technically, the rocket burned down the garage.

The rocket paid for by whose credit card?

- Mom's. - Exactly. So do we blame you

for leaving your card and your purse out in the open? - No.

- It was a pretty awesome rocket.

But you boys need to learn your lesson.

- No, we don't. - Why would you even say that?

- Look, I love you boys, you are my whole world,

but right now I just need a little less of you in it.

- The rising and setting of the sun.

The cool of the earth on your feet.

The gurgle-gurgle of your digestive tract.

These are just a few of the things I rule over in my world.

- We're going there?! OK, boot camp's for kids with behavior problems!

(woman sobbing)

- Have a great summer, uh,

camper 29 and 30.

And try not to, uh,

make that guy angry... er. - Are you eyeballing me, son?

Are you that crazy?

- Dad, we didn't mean to do it. - Derek, we have a plane to catch.

- Sorry, guys, I've got a plane to catch.

- We didn't mean to break the car either.

- Look, Dad-- - Dad? Dad? Dad?

- One.

One... ONE!

Get in line, meat-sticks. I'll deal with you

in a minute. - Yeah, we're not going there.

- No. Nope. No.

- OK, all aboard for Camp Bushwhack!

Hey, welcome back. Yeah, hop on board.

- Well, there you go. - Camp Bushwhack,

here we come. - How do you know they'll have

room for two more people? - No, not two more people.

We're gonna be switching... with those two.

(boy laughing) - Glad, you could make it.

(indistinct talking)

- Hey! - Hello! - Welcome to Camp Bushwhack!

Looks like bus number 2 is full, so we're going to go right ahead and move you to bus number 3!

- Way cooler bus. - Way cooler!

- Also, I don't think you need the name tags; those are for nerds.

So we're gonna snag those right off you there. - Thanks for the heads-up.

- No problem. - Uhhh... And we've got

some cool numbers for you. Here. - Right here.

- Um, is this easier or harder to remember names?

(chuckling) - It does... Sure!

- OK. - Alright!

Well done, uh, "Delroy." - "Sanjay."

- 29 and 30. I've been waiting for you.

Do you think I like to wait? Here's a hint.

GET ON THAT BUS AND GIVE ME 50!

(military drumming)

- You say you know the Heimlich manoeuver?

Will you just demonstrate on me?

(choking) - OK, ma'am, I'm gonna need to know what you're fake-choking on

because that really helps my approach.

- Ma'am, you have nothing to worry about. We are fully trained professionals.

- I mean, unless he gets mauled by a bear.

In that case, what are you gonna do about it?

- Look, we... don't have any bears at Camp Bushwhack.

- Ma'am, camp is about taking a kid, and just throwing him in the lake

just to see if he can swim. - Wow!

That was a metaphor.

We don't actually throw any kids anywhere

into anything at all. Trust me,

your kid is gonna have the time of his life!

- Bye, Mom. Love you.

- Here, here. I got it. I got it. Get up there.

- Yeah, I'll grab that. - No problem.

Got it? - Yep. Whoa! What did you pack?!

- Necessities. Delicious necessities.

- Delroy. - Uh, Sanjay. We belong here.

- Yeah, that's right, you guys are the new counselor and CIT.

Sanjay Kumar, Delroy... Barfield?

- Yes! That's us. Transferring from Camp...

Coochi... chingwa.

- Thought you were from Camp Coochichongwa.

- Yeah, that's-- - Yeah! Yeah, yeah.

- All right. - Totally stoked to be here

and ready to do whatever jobs, uh...

we got now. So...

- Let's go! I say Camp,

you say Bushwhack! Camp! - (kids): Bushwhack!

- Camp! - (kids): Bushwhack! - I say Camp, you say Bushwhack!

Camp! Camp! - (kids): Bushwhack! Bushwhack!

(campers cheering) (car honking)

- This is a joke, right?

I thought we were gonna go to Ojai for the summer.

- Ojai is a spa resort. You need real, regular kid fun.

- But they have a waterslide, and an all-day waffle station!

- Look. It's not your fault you're spoiled,

you were raised in Hollywood. But my buddies and I

had the best summers of our lives at this camp,

and I know you're gonna too.

- All right, Dad. - All right.

I understand.

- No, hey! Come back here!

- I don't wanna go! This is so unfair!

Dad, Dad, put me down!

- OK. - OK.

I say Camp, you say Bushwhack!

Camp! Camp! - (kids): Bushwhack! Bushwhack! (bearded guy laughing)

- ¶ Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream ¶

¶ Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream ¶

(military drumming)

- Oh, really, O'Reilly? Your file says you burned down

your parent's garage to the ground with a rocket.

- Yes, sir, but see, that wasn't us. We're not even brothers!

- So family doesn't mean anything in the O'Reilly house?

- We wouldn't know, sir, because like I said, we're unrelated.

- Enough talk! Get it on with those push-ups! - OK, OK!

- ¶ Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream ¶

(indistinct conversations)

- (girl): Two new guys to meet. Dibs on the tall one.

- Wait, hold on!

I thought you had dibs on Wookie.

- I like to hedge my bets.

Hey, I'm Alice. You're new here.

- Yeah, I'm super new.

(girls giggling)

(sigh) This is gonna be a great summer!

- Yeah. Great summer.

- Oh, uh... Sorry, bro, I need all the room

for all my awesomeness. - Dude, come on.

- Sorry. I'm awesome, I need more room. I'm sorry.

- OK, OK! Jeez!

(The boy sighs.)

- So...

did it hurt when the angel fell on you?

- What?

- Uh... I mean when you fell from heaven, not the angel.

- That was terrible.

It was awful. No, no, because I'm still awesome though, right?

- Come on. Please. Not now. - No.

- Still awesome. No. No, thank you. Still awesome.

¶¶¶

(whistle) - Off the bus!

Right on, campers! Looking good!

- Welcome to camp, everybody. - Hey, Sanjay, Delroy,

3 rules here at Bushwhack:

have fun, respect each other and Mother Nature,

and if you see a creepy shack in the woods,

don't go inside because we're not too sure, but it might be haunted.

(whistle)

- All aboard for Camp Bushwhack!

My name is Crawl, and I am your camp director.

- You guys can call me Wookie. I'm your head counselor.

- And we are stoked for another

summer of freezing lakes, burning bug bites, and a lunch menu

that can be best described as "high-risk, high-reward."

- (boy): Woo! That's what I like!

- And there's no bars. There's no signal.

- Reception is not a problem, because there are no cell phones allowed on the island.

- Do you even know what year you're living in?

Social media replaced fresh air, like, forever ago.

- Can I see that?

Sweet phone. (water splash) - Hey!

It's a $500 phone!

- Yeah, and it only skipped twice. You got ripped off, kid.

(laughing) (Crawl blows a whistle.)

- On the boats!

Willy! When everyone's aboard,

we cast off for a summer of fun!

- (Wookie): Everybody, grab your life jackets, please!

- ¶¶ And if the stars fell down you wouldn't miss 'em ¶

¶ I can move 'em, paint a picture like I'm Vincent ¶

¶ If the ground caved in there's no denying we'll be flying 'round the world tonight ¶

¶ If you can call me over right now ¶¶ (horn)

- Campers! Boat beats canoe every time!

Out of the way!

Honk at some kids, they like it. (honking)

- Man, good job on getting us to this camp.

This is gonna be sweet. - Told ya.

- You two lost?

(sinister music)

(whistle) - Out of the boat!

- If you guys wanna give me your life jackets, that'd be great.

Get up. Appreciate it.

- Hey, little dude. You're not still bummed out about

the whole phone thing, are you?

Look, you give me 2 days, you're not even gonna miss it.

- You have a phone. That's not fair.

- Yeah, well, this phone is this camp's

only means of communication with the mainland.

Look, we may need it in case of an emergency.

You know what, though? You're right.

Fair is fair.

Hey, Big Willy! Thanks for the lift.

I'll see you September 3rd! And not a moment sooner,

no matter what!

- Excuse me. Hey, new guys!

Excuse me! Hey! Uh, hey, hey, hey, hey!

I've got you in charge of Chipmunk Cabin.

- Because that's the cool cabin, right?

- You're not gonna have to stop that many parties, no.

But they are nice kids, really.

Oh, I should give you your rule book.

You'll need those. - Huh?

- A whole book? Crawl said there was only 3 rules.

- Did he say anything about fire or water?

- No. - No.

- Well, you should probably read this then. All right?

Have a good one.

- Attention, noobs, rookies,

and people I've already beat at sports.

This is Brogan Van Skioh.

And that... - LOOK AT IT!

- ...is the Nameless Cup.

Awarded each summer to the cabin with the most Points For Excellence.

The question on your minds is,

"Which cabin has won the cup for 6 straight summers?"

And it's so weak that you have to ask. The answer is,

The Badgers. Go Badgers!

(growling)

- Dude, badgers don't growl. - Yes, they do.

- Actually, no, they don't. They hiss.

- They growl, Chipmunk.

- I think it's more like... (hissing)

- That was good. - Yeah, you know, they're actually pretty cute.

- That's right! The cutest!

No, wait... Go Badgers!

(growling)

- Yeah... This is the summer of the Chipmunk!

- We, uh, we hate that guy, right?

- Yeah, yeah, we do. Let's go find out

how awesome our Chipmunks are and get this rivalry going.

- ¶¶ So let's throw our phones away ¶

¶ Just let the radio play ¶

¶ Let's freeze and frame that moment ¶

¶ We're gonna own it, own it - Hey ¶

¶ Tonight, tonight we lose our minds for the last time ¶

¶ Whoa oh ho oh ¶

¶ Tonight, tonight we'll ride that line for the last time ¶

¶ Whoa oh ho oh So don't hold back, don't ever hold back ¶¶

- Are you guys the Chipmunks? - Yep.

And you're our counselor and CIT?

- Can I take back that high-five now?

- OK, pop quiz: so what is a CIT?

- Don't you know?

- Um...I said it was a pop quiz. - Pop quiz.

- It's a counselor in training!

- I'm, I'm his boss?

Oh, no! Delroy! Mr. Sanjay is a hard man to please. - OK, all right!

- My name's Rich-- - No, no, it's not.

You are Cheeseburger. Mm-hm!

Here, we've got Hollywood,

Genius Bar for sure,

Twilight? - Ugh. Fair enough.

- Go with Twilight, yeah. And you...

You, uh, you always grin like that?

- Most of the time, yeah. Life's great!

- You, my friend, are Grinsberg. Bam! Nicknames done.

What's next? - You guys are supposed

to tell us what to do.

I hope it's something fun.

- Right! What do you think we should do? - Well...

everyone's going to have their cabin photos taken...

- Cabin photos! Exactly what we were thinking. Right, Sanjay?

Dude? - Right. Yes, me, Sanjay!

Yeah, cabin photos. Come on! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

Let's go! - Woo!

- Oh, hey, Chipmunks. I think you dropped this.

You gotta be more careful.

(protestations)

See? Ha, ha, ha!

- We gotta get this guy. - Yeah.

- Whoa, you just threw out the rule book! Can you do that?

- That's kind of how we roll.

- You just blew my mind. - Hey, Chipmunks, wait up!

These camp rules are important.

You've read them, right? - We've done this before.

Camped, I mean. We're counselors.

- Also, it's not like they can go all

Lord of the Flies on us. We're bigger than they are, we can beat them.

- Yeah, it's to protect them, not us.

- Thank you.

- Bye. - Bye.

- All right, camp photo, let's go! Come on! - All right.

- Is it too late for me to change camps?

- Yes!

- Everything you do is wrong!

You cannot make me happy!

But if you don't try, I'm gonna be sad.

And you know what? When I get sad,

I'm the one who will push you harder!

- Three, two, one!

(camera click) That's perfect!

- ¶¶ I'll turn it all around ¶

¶ I'll scream and I'll shout ¶

¶ I'll make you so proud if you say my name ¶

¶ If you say my name ¶

¶ If you say my name ¶

¶ If you say my name ¶

¶ If you say my name ¶ - Stop right there.

- ¶ I'll turn it all around ¶

¶ I'll scream and I'll shout ¶ - Bushwhack!

- ¶ I'll make you so proud if you say my name ¶

¶ If you say my name ¶

¶ If you say my name ¶

¶ If you say my name ¶

¶ If you say my name ¶

(growling)

- Whoa! What the... - Hey!

Get back! Oh yeah, you can run, but you can't hide!

- ¶ I'll turn it all around ¶

¶ I'll scream and I'll shout ¶

¶ I'll make you so proud if you say my name ¶¶

- (Crawl, using megaphone): Attention, camperinos!

Even though you have no choice in it whatsoever,

we thank you for choosing our dining hall for your eating needs.

Today's specials are sloppy joes,

sloppy slaw, and...

sloppy jelly! If you would like all 3 flavors

combined for the ultimate

sloppy experience, might I suggest

the sloppy Crawl?

- Is there garlic in any of this? - Only the jelly. It's savory.

- I'm not eating any of this.

- Well, you don't have to.

Got anything good to trade?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, these are, uh...

You probably won't know the brand. - Nope.

- They never made us eat sloppy anything at chess camp.

I miss chess camp.

- If you ever want a girlfriend, just never say that again.

OK? - What else should we know?

- Uh, well, if you like a girl, ignore her completely.

Also, take any opportunity you can

to show off your muscles. I call mine The Terminator,

and Thor.

- Well, you better call the plumber,

'cause these pipes are gonna burst!

- Nice, Grinsberg!

- (Brogan): Yo, Shmidmucks! - Hey, Brogan.

Looking damp. How's the water?

- You can pull all the little pranks you want, noobs,

but you'll never hold that cup.

- Well, we don't want your boring cup.

- Whatever.

- OK, so I want that cup. - Think we can win it

this year? - Who said we had to win it?

- How much further do we have to go?

- Far enough that Brogan will never find where we hid this thing.

- He'll kill us if he finds out we took it.

- That's why he'll never find out.

Besides, how much can he really love it if he didn't even give it a name? Same.

Come on, let's hide this thing. - Got any Cheezies?

- Do I have Cheezies?

Baked, fried, jalapeno?

- Uh, fried. - You got it.

- Thanks. Put it on my tab.

(spooky music)

- That's where we hide it.

- That place looks...

maybe haunted. - And kind of dangerous.

- Uh, exactly. This is perfect.

This was your idea. - Hey, hear that?

There's no wildlife around here. It's so quiet.

- If it's so quiet, then how can I hear it, Count Einstein?

- Uh, Sanjay, my idea was to hide this in the woods,

not to go in some creepy old shack

that Crawl told us not to go into. - Are you guys coming?

- Yeah. Yeah, we'll just wait here.

(spooky music)

- Man, this is creepy.

- Ugh, it stinks too.

Oh, wow!

- I don't hear stabbing. Are you guys OK?

- We're fine. Kid needs to relax.

- OK, let's find a spot and leave.

- Not here. That room is one room creepier.

- Wait!

Dane-- uh, Sanjay? Where are you?

Dude, this isn't funny.

- AH! (screaming) - Ha, ha, ha!

But that was!

- (Genius Bar): Are you getting stabbed?!

- No. It's safe.

- Man, it's almost hilarious how much it stinks in here.

- Gross! - I thought our bathroom at home was brutal.

Here.

We'll hide it here.

- Whoa, what about the last one?

- Bathroom rules, dude. You always use the one furthest away from the door,

so when Brogan comes to check, he's gonna look in that one

and he's not gonna find it, because...

we're smarter than him.

- Yeah, you're so much smarter than him, coming into a creepy old shack

and reaching into a different, dark, stinking hole.

- There's something else in here.

- What? (screaming)

- Are you kidding?! Come on! It's just a kid's backpack.

- OK, you got me that time. (screaming)

- It's just an old teddy bear. - Yeah, well, it's creepy, OK?

It smells bad.

- L'il Ladybug snack cakes?

- Whoa! They stopped making these in the 70s!

- There's barely any actual food products in these,

just chemicals. You could probably still...

eat these.

(spooky music)

- A book full of stories.

Creepy stories. They're handwritten.

- We should read them at the campfire tonight.

Ugh! Don't point that thing at me, OK?

And whoever pees the bed tonight

will be sleeping on the porch.

Looking at you. - (Genius Bar): Who, me?

- ¶¶ He's sitting all alone down in the lake ¶ - (teens): Camp Bushwhack!

- ¶ And your nightmares always plague us till we wake ¶

- (all): Camp Bushwhack!

- ¶ And your bed will give you slivers ¶

¶ And the water will give you shivers ¶

¶ And the dinner will give you quivers we can't tame ¶

- (all): Camp Bushwhack! (whooping)

- Hey, hey, Chipmunks! Here, come take a seat and grab some s'mores.

Help yourselves, huh? - Yeah, I love s'mores.

- OK, this campfire could use a few scares. Who's with me?

- Uh, we can't tell scary stories here. It's a camp rule.

- Especially if you guys, especially... Brogan,

are gonna be too scared, then we probably shouldn't.

- I'm not scared, noob.

I say we go for it.

The rules, whatever.

- You're such a troublemaker!

- OK. All right, well, maybe... just tonight, huh?

All right, who wants to start it out?

- I just happen to have a book of stories right here. Oh-oh!

"Once, there was a high school girl

"whose mom told her to never

"go to bed without washing her face.

"And then one night,

"she was so tired...

"she did it anyway.

"And then the next morning,

she had a mustache!"

- Oh! - Ah!

- On her face. Oh, yeah.

- Um... we really shouldn't be doing this.

- Yeah, I mean, especially with stories that weak.

I mean, come on, guys, we're breaking rules here!

You know? So let's step it up a little, huh?

- So... (mumbling)

My story was awesome.

- OK, I've got one.

I don't know, though.

I don't think you guys will be able to handle it.

- You're talking to a guy who handles a motorcycle, FYI. (girl giggling)

- "Sometimes, your first trip

"to summer camp can be your last,

"not because you never come back,

"but because you never leave.

"Just ask new camp counselor Anson Miner.

"His initiation didn't go according to plan.

"Sure, midnight blindfolded

canoe jousting sounds fun.

"But the next thing his friends knew... Anson was underwater.

"By the time they got him to the shore,

"he was barely alive.

"They knew they needed to get Anson to a doctor, fast.

"But the nearest hospital wasn't that kind that worked on people.

(barking)

"It was an old animal hospital guarded by a dog

"with a strange metal collar.

"The door was open.

(barking)

And they found the doctor inside."

- I'm not really familiar with humans.

But I'll try.

- "...he said, but he couldn't find a heartbeat.

Anson was gone."

- My best friend died recently.

I couldn't go on without him,

so I brought him back.

You must have seen him outside,

with his cute little collar.

I can bring your friend back too...

in a manner of speaking.

- "What he didn't say was that Anson wouldn't be the same.

(growling)

"The serum brought Anson's body back to life

as a bloodthirsty zombie."

- We wanna be your friends! Grab the collar! Ah! Ah!

(growling)

- "But the doctor wasn't fast enough.

Anson continued to feed, and the outbreak began!"

- So how'd they stop it?

- Well, without the doctor,

they barely discovered the antidote in time.

- But then everything was fine after, right?

- The antidote worked on everyone except Anson.

He'd been undead too long to save.

- So then... what happened to him?

(gasping)

- "Some say he's still at the hospital

"with all the other dead things.

"Others say he roams these very woods,

"and at night you can hear him stumbling around, looking for live brains,

"his hunger...

never... satisfied."

(screaming)

(laughing)

- Yeah!

- (girl): Oh, my gosh! Did you just...?!

- He peed himself! - I did not!

- (girl): Ew! - I just, uh...

- (girl): So ew!

- Whatever! - Yeah, ew!

(spooky music)

- We shouldn't even be telling scary stories.

- I'm gonna get you for this, Sanjay Kumar!

- Have a good night, Brogan!

- The story's not real, right?

I mean, zombies aren't real. - Guys, come on.

There's no such thing as zombies, obviously.

Encore, anyone?

- Yeah! ¶¶¶

(growling)

- I love torturing preppies, you know?

It's more fun than torturing normal people.

What's next? - I'm starving.

Let's do a kitchen raid! - Yes!

- Yeah, let's go! - I could always eat.

Oh! Hold on.

The coast is clear.

- (girl): Ewww! So ew!

- I know.

(indistinct talking)

- Get down, get down! Shhh! Shhh!

Dude, shhh!

Aw, she's really upset, man.

Should we really scare her?

- I see you guys!

- ("Sanjay"): Hi, Lauren. - Hi!

- Are you guys trying to scare me again?

Pranks are against the rules.

- Come on, looks like we're busted by the fun police.

- I'm not the fun police.

- No, no. Just the Rules Patrol. I think I saw a rule

by the tire swing. If you wanna go follow that--

- Look, look, I'm sorry. We're just gonna go for a kitchen raid.

I mean, you don't have to come if, you know,

you're weirded out or...

- No, um, I can break some rules! Yeah!

Yeah, let's go break some rules.

Yeah, let's break some rules in half!

Woo!

- Ha! Ha! Ha! Lauren, keep up! - What? I'm coming!

- No pressure, but you're gonna have to learn to break

some rules now and again. - Let's go break some rules!

(low growling)

(murmuring) - I'm scared. - It's OK, it's OK.

(rustling)

(twig cracking)

There's something outside.

- Something's always outside, guys! Let's stay positive!

(growling)

(A twig breaks.) (kids whimpering)

- I want my mom! Or any mom!

(screaming)

(growling)

(kids screaming)

- (counselor): Woo! (zombie growling)

Where are our counselors?! Shouldn't they be protecting us?

- Yeah, worse counselors ever!

- They better not be doing a kitchen raid without us!

- Kitchen raid! - Hot fudge coming up!

- Hey, guys, I found this... This is awesome!

- Hey, hurry up, let's go! - Who thought of this?

- Got the bread, so that's like two thirds of a sandwich. - Got the peanut butter!

- I'm doing my job. - Meat. I got some meat.

- I need marshmallows! - Ignore it, let's make...

- Sundaes! - Cookie dough!

No one in my house lets me eat this!

- Who's up for some tuna salad?

- No, Jan. - No. What?

- I found the whipped cream!

- OK, hit me up!

- You're gonna get worms! - This is the best idea

we have ever had!

(indistinct talking)

(whistle) (screams) - Frankly, I'm disappointed.

If you're gonna raid my kitchen,

why don't we bust out a little meatball sandwich, huh?

(laughing and cheering)

- There he is, this guy. - Awesome!

- Hey, wanna go down to the dock

and look at the stars?

- Yeah, yeah, yes! Yeah, totally.

Um... let me go grab a... blanket.

And... (He belches.)

...try not to throw up.

- I'll meet you there. - OK.

- By myself.

- Whatever.

¶¶¶

(twigs cracking)

(twigs cracking)

(growling)

(beatboxing over PA system)

(PA system feedback)

- Good morning, Camp Bushwhack! (pop song)

DJ Sanjay K coming to you live from the radio cabin.

- Ow!

- Darn it! - Time to kick off those covers,

camp lovers. Quit your night and bed bug bites, 'cause it's the morning,

and... nothing rhymes with morning.

OK. Moving on.

- Hey! Stop right now! You are not authorized

to use the PA system! And I know you took the Nameless Cup!

- OK, also, please note that there are a pair

of adorable animal underpants on the top of the flagpole.

You can grab those right after breakfast,

but you'll probably get laughed at. Looking at you, Brogan.

Also, in other news, I'd want to stay upwind

of those puppies, because somebody peed his pants last night!

Back after this. - You are toast, Sanjay.

You hear me?!

(bugle call)

- I really miss the first drill instructor.

- I'm not a very tidy person.

I leave a mess wherever I go.

There's no place on earth more disgusting than my bathroom.

And you get to clean it with your tongues,

if you put those canoes down!

- (both): Sir, ma'am, yes, ma'am, sir!

- Brain... - Hey, Wookie!

I love your cute morning hair.

It's always Alice, Alice, Alice!

- You totally stood me up last night! I waited on the dock for an hour!

(A girl screams.) - Dock... - No, no, no!

- What's going on? - Why does she have a mustache?

- No way, did you see that?

She totally grew a mustache!

Her face looks weird.

Stop it!

- (belching): R, S, T,

U, V, W, X,

Y... Z!

(cheering and applause)

OK, Genius Bar!

Dig deep. I want you to shake a filling loose! Come on!

(tiny burp)

Well... it's a start.

Yo, I heard she woke up with a mustache this morning.

I can't even do that. - Yeah.

A mustache...

- Oh, this?

Hey, didn't you tell that exact same mustache story at the campfire last night?

- Yeah. It's weird, huh? (belch)

- You make it look so easy.

- OK, what is on the agenda today?

We've got friendship- bracelet making...

Wonderful.

Arts and... ugh, arts and crafts, and then, uh...

Who would like to skip down to dodgeball?

- Nope. - No way. - No.

- Bracelet making? - No.

- Left side.

One, two, three.

Motivate these guys.

I'm gonna go play mind games.

- Go Badgers! (growling)

- We're dead meat. - The deadest meat.

- You're going down, jawline.

- Uh, news flash: you're the ones going down.

- Ooh, uh, this just in: I don't think so, bro.

- Oh, Spanish News Flash:

Te vas a perder,

bro! - OK, yeah, this just in...

("Sanjay" beeping) On the news tonight,

here's us being like, "We're the best, we won!" And you're like,

"Oh, no! We... we ain't so cute. I wish we could be him!"

- I don't watch the news.

- All right, gather 'round, little warrior dudes

and dudettes!

Welcome, welcome, welcome

to the Bushwhack, whack, whack, whack, whack...

dodgeball-a-drome, drome, drome, drome!

Again!

Remember: heads up,

balls down!

And may the odds of not being knocked unconscious

be forever in your favor. (chuckling)

Let's... dodgeball!

(horn) (cheering)

¶¶¶

(kids grunting)

(whistle)

Take a breather. Good hustle.

(cheering)

(moaning)

- We're getting raped!

- Had enough? 'Cause the Badgers can go

a lot harder than this.

- I bet you can. - Still a little fuzzy

with the rules. - My stomach hurts.

- My everything hurts. - I almost got hit a couple times.

- Come on, guys, you're doing great.

- (all, flatly): Really? - Here, drink some water.

- Good work, Badgers.

But don't relax yet. We can still hurt these kids a bit more.

I know you've given 100%,

and I'm proud of you. But you've still got

40% left. OK, go get some water.

Gotta be hydrated to win.

- OK, we have to play up your strengths.

Cheeseburger, your throw is terrible, but you're lucky. Close your eyes when you throw.

Genius Bar, when you get the ball, please,

give it to Cheeseburger. Grinsberg, you're fast,

I love your footwork. Now, try tiring out their throwing arms.

Twilight? - Let them hit me?

- Exactly. - My dad said that camp is fun.

This isn't fun. I'm so mad at him for sending me to this dump.

- Good. Channel up all your anger into the ball like you're charging a rage battery.

Come on, let's go, get up! - I think we're ready to go.

- Good. Let's do this. Woo!

(whistling) - Let's dodgeball!

(horn)

(cheering)

- Cheeseburger, go! Go! Go! Go!

(cheering) - Come on, Hollywood,

let's see what you got!

- Come on! - Yes!

- Woohoo!

- Wicked comeback, guys, but still down 5-1.

- Wait for it... - What?

- All right, here we go. (stomach rumbling)

(stomachs rumbling) Let's go, Badgers!

Go, Badgers.

- What's going on, Badgers? You feeling OK?

This thing said fast-acting brand, and it was NOT kidding!

- Let me in! Let me in! (squealing)

- Well, call in the dogs and put out the fire--

it looks like the Badgers have forfeited the game,

which means the Chipmunks win!

(cheering) (whistling)

- We beat 'em!

- We're going to take down those Chipmunks

if it's the last thing we do!

(Brogan moans.) Badgers, this outhouse

is off-limits for the next hour! - Uh-oh!

- Alright, guys! Welcome to medieval training here at Camp Bushwhack!

- Which, like calculus and Shakespeare,

will be of absolutely no value to you

in your everyday lives. - Yeah, but it's cool!

- Plus it was this or bracelet making, so...

You're up, hotshot.

- Bull's-eye! - Nice shot, Hollywood!

- Thanks! - Here.

Knock yourself out. How many private schools in Beverly Hills let you play with those?

- I am starting to like camp.

- Nerd alert!

What's the matter, Mommy's boy? Homesick?

Go home, geek. (blonde kid chuckling)

- Yo, Twilight, you're up! - No, I'm not.

- Suit yourself.

Ohhh! Wooo!

- What do I do next? - Let go.

- With which hand? - Whoa! No, no, no, no!

- Grinsberg!

Dude, not cool.

Genius Bar!

Hey, Genius Bar!

Dude, where are you going? - I'm running away.

- What? You can't do that.

Guess who gets fired if you disappear.

- I don't want you to get fired, it's just... I don't fit in here.

My mom was right. I'm just not cut out for camp.

- Forget your mom. What do you think?

- I've never held a bow and arrow before,

I can't throw... the only thing I'm good at doing

is dodging things, and that's only

because people like to throw stuff at the gifted kids.

I'm hopeless. - Hey! No, you're not!

Uh, 'cause trying new things is what life is all about!

- Is that the best you've got?

- OK, OK, look...

I've never done this camp thing before. Me and my brother

lied to get our way in here and I didn't think I belonged here either,

but we're having a blast! Come on!

This can be an awesome summer!

- Is that true? You never camped?

- Yeah. (Genius Bar chuckling)

- That actually explains a lot.

- Ashley spilled the iced tea! Now, I'm mad!

Go yell at her! - OK.

Hey.

Hi, guys.

We Rabbits don't yell, OK? Go tell Ashley you still like her. - OK...

- Uh... so, we cool?

- Yeah, I'll stay.

Thanks.

- I knew you'd never been to camp.

But don't worry, your secret's safe with me.

- Why?

- Because that was a good save. It's not easy to turn a runaway around.

Believe me, I know. I tried to run once.

Luckily, I had a really great counselor.

You might just make one too, Delroy.

(buzzing)

- Impersonating camp counselors, huh? (chuckling)

Brogan Van Skioh

has got you nailed--

(disgusting squishy sound) Darn it!

- If you wanna be a good camp counselor, you've gotta know

how to make a s'more.

First, you gotta toast the marshmallows.

Just don't burn them.

- Doesn't the fire have to be on fire to do this?

- Yeah, we can't really make a fire

without approval, so...

Camp rules. Don't laugh at me.

- OK, well, let's say I've toasted my marshmallow perfectly. Now what?

- OK, so you got to have your Graham cracker ready,

with the chocolate already on it, and then you just... (twigs cracking)

...slide your marshmallow off.

(growling)

Works better when it's melted. - Did you see that? - What? What?

- It looked like a zombie.

- A zombie.

What? Like Anson Miner from the campfire story last night?

Quit goofing off. - Well, we did read

that mustache story too, and you grew one.

- Thanks, Dumbroy. - I'm not good with girls.

Hey, Crawl, what's up?

- Just measuring some jerky. - Why?

- So I know how much we have.

- Hey, what if I said I told a couple of scary stories last night

at the campfire, and maybe they're coming true?

- Why, I'd say you broke the "no scary stories" rule.

- Why no scary stories?

- Charming camp tradition based on

some pretty scary camp legend.

I guess a while ago, something pretty terrible happened here.

Some campers went missing.

Just... disappeared.

Nobody knows what happened.

They just stopped telling scary stories around here.

And you know what? There hasn't been a scare since.

(growling)

(cough) - Crawl!

- Hey, Crawl, can we get some jerky? Wookie's super hungry.

- You know what? I don't care how hungry you are.

Just don't forget your manners.

- OK, uh, I'm gonna go find Sanjay.

- He took your campers down the old road to find the cheerleader camp. Give me an 'ew'?

- OK, I'll get him.

- Yeah, cool. - Come on, let's go. Let's go.

- Hey, wait! How long did I say that jerky was?

- If the cheerleaders talk to us, what should I say?

- Your dad didn't teach you this kind of stuff? - No. He's always on set.

- Mine's too busy trying to disprove string theory.

- Strings are real, got 2 on my shoes right now,

and you don't really talk to girls as much as you listen

to a conversation they have with themselves.

- Sanjay! Dane!

Sanjay! Guys, look!

We all need to go back now! - Uh, no.

I promised we'd go find the cheerleaders across the lake. - What?!

- We're on an island, so we have to get over the water.

- One step at a time, dude. - Guys, last night's campfire stories are coming true!

First, Lauren's mustache. Now, Anson Miner!

I saw him in the woods! - The zombie kid? Really?

- You saw a zombie? - Dude, it's just Brogan pulling a prank on you, all right?

Come on. - What?

(screaming)

- THE PRANK IS WORKING!

(kids yelling) - I told you there was a zombie! - I believe you now!

(screaming) A zombie!

- ("Delroy"): Where's Grinsberg?

- Go, go!

- Oh, he just ran into the old, scary building.

That's no big deal.

(yells)

(growling)

(panicked yells)

Ah! Wait! - What was that?

(indistinct talking) What is this place?

- What's going on? - We gotta find another way out. Let's go, let's go!

Why did you run in here?!

- Kind of lost it there. I'm OK now!

- We should never have gone in that shack.

- Or opened that book. - Broke the campfire story rule!

- OK, are you guys let that rule your whole lives? - Dude, they've got a point!

(screaming) - Go! Go, go, go, go! Go!

Go, go, go, go, go!

- Guys!

Move this! Go, go, go!

- All right.

- This is good. There's no way in.

- No way in means no way out! We're trapped!

(whimpering)

- Dude! Are you done?

- Yes, I'll look for weapons.

- OK, good. Guys, get in the closet!

Go! Go, go, go, go! Come on!

What? - Are we gonna die?

- Probably. - No, no! What?! No, you're not gonna die, all right?

- Is this gonna take long? - I don't know, Cheeseburger.

- 'Cause there's no place to sit, so...

- What? What? - Is it too late to change our vote to crafts?

- OK, think. Think. Scary story come to life. - OK.

What happened in the story again? The zombies take over? - No, no. They all got cured

except for the first victim. - Right. Anson.

- Yes.

- Who's patient "O"? - Patient zero, dude.

A term given to the first victim of a major outbreak.

Collar!

This was the hospital from the story!

This is the collar that was supposed to be on Anson!

This remote must control it. (banging on door)

Here, take the batteries out.

Maybe we can get this collar on Anson

and use this remote to shut him down.

- How do you know that's gonna work? We don't even know if that's him!

(banging and growling)

- Hey, Anson! (growling and banging stop)

- Did you hear that? The zombie knows his own name!

- Big deal, so does my dog. And he can catch a ball with his eyes shut.

- Ah!

(crackling) Ah!

So stupid! - Whoa!

Don't throw our plan, all right?

We need that.

(banging on door) - Hey, whoa, whoa!

If you open that door, he's just gonna come in here

and eat our brains, OK? I'm too hot to die, Dylan!

- We're just gonna wait here and die, right?

- OK. I'll put the collar on him.

I can do this. This is big brother stuff.

- (Grinsberg): Awww, that's so cute!

- No, it's not, OK? Just be quiet.

- Ready? - OK. One, two, three!

(growling)

- (Dylan): Hold on! I dropped the remote!

- That doesn't sound like part of the plan.

- Maybe the zombie will eat them and leave us.

(growling)

- Got it!

- Dane!

- Dude, what did you eat for breakfast?

Ugh! Ugh!

What are you doing? A little help here, bro!

(crackling) - Whoa!

Hey, dudes, what's up?

- Anson? - That's what they named me.

- Cool!

- (Dane): This officially just got weirder.

- Wait.

You're OK now, right?

- I feel good.

Dead, but good.

Who are you guys?

- We're, uh, counselors at Camp Bushwhack.

- Cool! I used to be a counselor

at Camp Whispering Lake!

So, uh... what do you dudes do for fun?

Ohhh, you know what I haven't done in ages?

Breakdancing. Check it.

The moonwalk, the six-step,

the backspin!

¶¶¶

(bones cracking)

- Think I really like this guy. We should bring him back to camp to hang out.

- Excellent!

- Anson, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna have a word.

Are you crazy?! He's a zombie, Dane!

- Yeah, a fun breakdancing zombie. Don't be such a baby.

Besides, he's under our control, remember?

It will be fine.

- Greetings, campers!

(screaming)

- You're freaking me out!

- Sorry, it's just that I remember you

as the zombie who was chasing us. Like, a minute ago.

- I get it.

So let's start over. I'm Anson.

(screaming)

- Oh, it's just a hug. Nice to meet you.

- OK, well, we're gonna go back to camp.

Anson, it was great to meet you, but uh...

you're gonna have to stay here by yourself.

- Oh.

Yeah, cool.

Well, come back and visit.

I got the space.

(all talking)

- (Dylan): This is our secret, guys. No one finds out about this place.

(gasp)

- Ew.

- Hey, man! - Oh!

Hm! I mean, uh, hey.

- What can I do you for?

- You can give me the cup.

I know they hid it h-h-here!

Whoa!

Dude, what's wrong with your skin? You look like a zombie.

- For all the right reasons.

- Oh, ha, ha, ha!

They already tried the zombie trick on me,

so, uh...

you're gonna have to try harder.

(growling) Ah! Stop! Ah! Ah!

- Did you bring any tuna salad? - So now you like tuna salad? I brought out the tuna salad

last night; you looked at me like I was offering you dog food.

- And now I'm looking at you like you should know

that tuna salad is a picnic thing.

- Alice, look at his skin. It's grey.

- So I should just dump him?

I am the girlfriend of the head counselor, Jan.

I'm not just going to dump him because he's a little pale. - Whatever.

Tuna salad is not a picnic thing.

The mayo gets warm in the sun,

and then everyone pukes. That's what happens.

- Brain. Brain.

- OK, guys, in those PJs! Let's go, let's go, let's go!

- Do we have to? Can't we just sleep in our clothes?

- Oh, no!

- Delroy, can we sleep in our clothes?

- Sure. - Really?

They can sleep in their clothes, but I bring a pet zombie home and just nothing?

- OK, he seems like a great guy, but what are we gonna do?

Give him a bunk and see if he bites anyone?

- Uh, I don't know, maybe we can trust him?

And his electric shock collar, OK?

He was just looking for a place to fit in.

- I totally know how that feels. - Me too. - Ditto that.

- All right, look. Next zombie you find, you keep. All right?

- Thank you.

(growling) (kids screaming)

- (Dane): I'm sorry, are you all right? You all right?

Oh, he's coming, he's coming! (glass breaking)

(screaming) - Why me?!

- He can smell your genius brains!

(shouting)

- Hold on! I've got you!

Everybody, stay away from the windows!

(growling) - Bro zombie!

- Get him out, get him out!

Close the door, close the door, close the door!

- Nice shot, Hollywood!

- It wasn't him. - Twilight?!

- Something I didn't want to share earlier. Just didn't need the practice.

- Nice shot!

(grunting)

- We have to warn everyone. - Yeah, then they can send the army or something.

- No, they wouldn't risk contamination. They'd probably make up some cover story,

and then wipe this island and us off the face of the Earth.

- How do you know all this? - Dad did a movie like this once.

- And 2 zombies will infect the place pretty quick.

- Edward Scissorhands is right. - Cullen. - Huh?

- Edward Cullen? Like in the movie? - I didn't...

- If we don't contain this, things could get bad, fast.

If Brogan's a zombie, it means there are probably more.

- He's right. You guys stay with him; I'll tell the rest.

Oh, and uh... board up that window.

- No argument here.

Ugh!

- I like him, but he was being a jerk today.

He just kept making noises and he kept trying

to touch my head. Oh, and he's starting to stink.

What do I do? - Well, first of all,

you tell Wookie that you're not gonna put up

with his attitude anymore, and that your head belongs to you!

I mean, he's a good guy. He'll straighten up.

As far as the smell goes...

yeah, that may linger for a bit.

I mean, I was ripe

during most of my twenties. (chuckling)

- Thanks, Crawl.

- Can you guys give me some advice?

I don't understand why guys always want the same thing,

even though it's actually kind of boring,

and there might be something probably amazing

standing right next to it that they don't even notice.

Like, hello, probably amazing.

- Yeah... I can't help you with that,

but I do have a story.

I mean, it's a little strange, but stick with me, OK?

It involves a guy named Crawl-- - No, no, please, no stories!

Sanjay and I read a zombie story last night

and it came true, and there's a zombie out there right now! It's already bitten Brogan!

- This is not a story fire, dude. This is a share fire.

If you have something to share, then go for it.

- Crawl, please! - (Crawl): Ah-ah! - You don't believe me?

(door opening)

No one believed me. - What now?

- We hold out here till morning? - But we can still sleep

in our clothes, right?

(dramatic music) (birds chirping)

- I don't see anyone. - Me neither.

Anyone.

I'm gonna go check outside. - OK.

- You're not gonna offer to come with me?

- No. - What a brother.

- Uh, I'm not your brother, OK?

I'm Sanjay. Gotta stay in character.

OK, go, go, go, go.

You can do it. Good luck.

(growling)

- Lauren! Lauren, behind you!

- No, Delroy, I'm still upset, OK?

- Come on, let's go!

(growling)

(loud knocking)

- Do zombies knock?

- He can't smell my genius brains now!

- OK, everyone, calm down! Let's calm down! OK?

I say we open the door and go all Jet Li on his zombie butt.

OK, One, two, three!

(screaming)

- Stop, stop! - It's just us, guys!

- Stop, OK? Guys, we're not zombies!

- What is going on here?! - It's kind of a long story.

Yeah, so... possible

zombie apocalypse.

- (Grinsberg): I think she's mad at you.

- And this is all your fault!

The zombie, my mustache?

Bad counselors!

(moaning) What's wrong with him?

- You're scratched?! He got scratched last night.

- Guys, I am fine, OK?

- You won't be!

- This boot camp is starting to sound real nice.

(military music)

- I will yell at you!

You will cry!

I will smile at you.

That'll make you think we're friends!

You will be wrong!

I will yell at you,

and you will cry! (helicopter whirring)

- I can't take much more of this, man.

- (Sanjay): Look! Over there! You thinking what I'm thinking?

- I don't know, just tell me what you're thinking.

- We get to Camp Bushwhack,

and we give the O'Reillys some payback.

- OK, so... at least 2 zombies are out there,

and Sanjay might turn into one.

There's nothing in the rule book about this.

- Don't worry. We threw out the rule book.

(PA system turning on)

- Attention, Bushwhackers. Will Delroy Barfield and Sanjay Kumar

please report to the camp director's shack immediately?

That's me.

Crawl. - Not exactly a zombie apocalypse warning.

- Maybe it hasn't spread yet. We should try telling him again.

- I gotta check on the Rabbits.

But let me know what the plan is, OK?

- Can't be that bad if someone

is trampolining, right?

(pop song)

Hey, Crawl!

Before you start-- - No, before you start!

The good news is, I found my phone in the lake.

And this whole rice bag trick

totally works. Dried it right up.

The bad news:

someone named Sergeant Williams

from the Bad Behavior Boot Camp called. Ring any bells?

- No. - Nope. No bells ringing.

No bells over here. - No bells are active.

- He said he had 2 campers run away...

2 campers who claimed to be Sanjay Kumar

and Delroy Barfield.

- OK, listen, whatever you heard, it's...

it's Dylan's fault. - What?!

- Dudes... (sighing)

We have a little problem here.

- Actually, I think we might have a big problem here.

(banging) (growling)

- Dudes! Zombies!

- Yeah! I tried to share that at the fire last night!

Nobody was listening to me!

Whoa! Dane, stop!

- He was gonna call Mom and Dad.

- Yeah, we needed that to call the ferry dude!

- Yeah, probably shouldn't have hit the phone. I don't feel good.

- Those canoes at the dock, you know, maybe we can use those to get help.

- OK, all right. - We can't leave the camp like this.

If we go for help, we're never gonna get back in time. We have to do this ourselves.

- I don't want you to be right, right now, Dylan, OK?

I want you to be wrong, so we can leave here and I can keep my unbitten head, but...

Yeah, you're right.

- And we need to cure you. - Thank you for that, Dylan.

Thank you for not being able to go just a few minutes

without reminding me of the fact that I'm gonna turn into

a mindless pile of dead eating skin.

- Hey, look. I won't let that happen to you, OK?

(chuckling) - I knew you'd get all cuddly.

- Whatever.

Come on, let's go. - OK.

(growling) (dramatic music)

(rock music)

- Let us in! - Let us in!

- Who is it? - It's us! Let us in!

It's Sanjay and Delroy! Open the door! - What's the password?

- You didn't give us a password! - Oh, right! Uh...

Hold on! (banging)

- Open the door! Open the door!

- They're all over the camp. We have to stop them. Twilight, what do we do?

- Me? - Yeah, you! The base of any operation is intel,

and you've read so much more monster books than any of us!

- Zombies are hard to kill because they're the walking dead already.

Your best bet is to whack them on the head.

They have an insatiable hunger for human brains. (stomach growling)

- Sorry. - But there's usually a cure.

- Uh... in the story there was an antidote that cured everyone except Anson.

It came from the hospital. Maybe it's still there.

Just someone has to go get it.

- I'll do it. - What?

- You? - Yeah! Whoever goes

will have to know how to mix the solution with the right ratios for it to metabolize.

- (all): Huh? - Exactly.

I need to make science happen - I'll go too.

I'm fast, and I can keep Genius Bar's spirits up.

- Look at you, Chipmunks, you guys are making me so proud!

And before, you guys were just useless, but now, I mean...

Look at you. Sorry.

- Here, take these and see how much antidote you can get.

- We will. - Let's go.

Grinsberg, here's an extra one for you.

Genius Bar, you too. - Thank you.

- Good luck, guys. Be careful.

(growling)

(screaming)

- OK, OK, guys, I think they're getting hungry.

I don't think it's safe out there for... the kids.

- I'm tired of hiding. If this is the end of Cheeseburger,

then I'm going out kicking and screaming.

- Your name wasn't even Cheeseburger, like, 2 days ago.

- You guys hunker down here. We're gonna go to the lodge

and get some weapons. - How are we gonna get there?

- You'll act like zombies. If you're convincing enough,

they might leave us alone! I can teach you.

My dad's been giving me acting lessons since I was 3.

- (Dylan): OK.

(growling)

- Arms more limp. Arms more limp.

Imagine the light being gone from you.

Eyes lifeless, empty,

like your soul! Yes, yes!

I like your arms, Sanjay. Now pretend you're dead

and commit to it. Make your arms more limp, more limp!

- Something is super wrong with him.

- Not anymore. I talked to him, and he's going to change.

Aren't you, sweetie?

Now, how about time for another story?

You like the one about the sharks, right? "Underneath the lake"--

(growling) (shrieking)

¶¶¶

- Go, go, go, go!

- Dude, what was that?

- Uh, it's called a zombie impression, and I nailed it.

(shouting)

- Die! Again! Ha, ha, ha!

- Crawl! Stop! It's us!

- Hey!

- Sanjay! Sanjay and Delroy!

Well, it's not actually, but we're not zombies!

- How do I know you're not a zombie?

- Ah!

- Because I'm talking to you!

- OK.

So what's the plan?

Do we just hold up here

as best as we can until we die?

- No! We sent 2 of our guys out for the antidote.

We're mounting an attack, we need weapons.

(chuckling) - I got this!

- I think we're ready to get this on!

(battle cry)

- You guys wanna go pick up those tennis balls?

I used them all up on you.

(wind blowing)

- Heat. If I could alter the mixture,

then it will work on contact. We won't have to use needles.

- Good. Needles are scary.

Now hurry up!

- You can't rush science.

- Can you accelerate it?

(growling)

- ¶ Row, row, row your boat ¶

Come on! ¶ Gently down the stream ¶

(military music)

- I wish the zombie story

had a jetpack in it. We would've been back by now.

- I just hope this antidote works.

But yeah, jetpacks would be so cool.

- Where are you two headed in such a hurry?

- It's kind of a long and impossible story.

You should get Sanjay and Delroy to tell you.

- That's a good idea.

(growling)

- This isn't the type of thing you get used to.

- Attention, disgusting zombies!

We would like to thank you for choosing our pile of beef jerky

for your eating needs. Ha! Ha!

No doors to crash through,

no children to taste-- nice and easy!

So, come and get it!

- They're gonna take the bait!

- No! No, they're ignoring the bait!

- I guess they're just not into jerky anymore.

- Full disclosure, I'm kind of over jerky too.

- I guess they found something more appetizing. What's our plan B, guys?

- The antidote! Yes!

- Hey, guys. How was boot camp?

Fun?

- We'll talk later. And we will talk!

- Come on, Chipmunks!

You wanna live forever?

Die, zombies, die!

- Hold them down!

(screaming)

- We did it! We did it! (cheering)

(growling)

- Brrrains!

- Dude, we're supposed to use the antidote!

- I know. I just really wanted to hit Brogan in the face with a paddle.

(growling)

- All right, I gotta go help Lauren.

(chuckling)

- Secret weapon time, zombie garbage! (chuckling)

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

- Brains! - Brains!

- Alice! Jan!

You look thirsty.

(growling) - Brains.

- Come on! Seriously? Come on!

Come on, please, please.

- Whose face looks weird now, huh?

(screaming)

(growling)

(rock music)

- Wait, wait. I've got this.

$500 phone!

- Get back, get back.

- Wooo! - Yes! Wooo!

- I think we got 'em! - Sanjay, we did it!

I guess I can call you Dane now. (Dane retching)

Dane?

(snarling) Dane...

Ugh!

Dane!

Ah! Hey! Ah! Ah!

- Did I just bite you?

That would have been so disgusting if I did.

- For both of us.

- What's going on?

What happened to me? - I didn't notice.

(cheering)

- OK. I feel like we're gonna get

some pretty angry letters from some pretty angry parents.

(indistinct talking)

- O'Reillys!

We need to talk.

- O'Reillys?

- Yeah, that's probably our bad about the whole boot camp thing.

- Uh... hey, how about

we do your laundry for the rest of the summer?

- It's a good start.

(growling) - It's Anson!

Take him down!

- Aaah! - It's not working!

In the story, the antidote worked on everyone except Anson.

He's patient zero. - OK, well, what do we do? - Uh...

- Hey, guys! What's going on?

- I found it in the hospital and fixed it. You know, just in case.

- Guess there's no chance of me

getting a counselor job here, huh? - Tell you what, dude.

Drop me off a résumé and I'll give you a call.

- Bye.

¶¶¶

- Good morning, Bushwhackers!

I slept in a little bit today, so you're kind of on your own for breakfast.

Also, we have just survived

a zombie apocalypse, so...

yay us! Ha! Ha! Ha!

As a special treat for being alive,

we are having a super-fun tropical luau this afternoon.

I'm looking for some volunteers to pull some pork

and pine some apples. But no snacking!

Oh, also, before I forget, new camp policy

is that everyone needs to be good at running away from things,

so please report to instructors Barfield and Kumar for training.

- I am a zombie! If I catch you, you will be eaten!

Your momma will cry!

- Take it easy! - Are you kidding?

I'm the nice one! - I said crawl for your life!

You're not even crawling for your lunch!

- I swear I'll get you, Sanjay Kumar.

- Get me? You're gonna get me?!

You get Sanjay the way you get the flu!

I put you on your back, SNIVELING IN YOUR BED!

(laughing)

- Uh, hey.

We thought you should have this. I thought we should call it the Chipmunk Cup.

- You went back for it!

- Yeah, but you didn't really tell us that you put it in a hole...

- Yeah. Must have smelled pretty bad.

- Hilariously bad.

- Thanks, guys. This is great.

Are you going somewhere? - We thought that we'd go find those cheerleaders after dinner.

You know, to make sure they're safe.

- Nice! Let's do it!

- Are you sure we should be teaching them this?

Don't you think there's more outdoorsy things they could learn?

- What's more outdoorsy than finding girls with a compass?

- Makes sense. I'm going with him.

- Yeah, me too!

You know, it's like a Senior Counselor deal.

- You're going after cheerleaders? So that's it?

You bite me and now it's over? - You put a leash on me.

- I'm over him. - You're so over him.

- Oh, check out the new counselors!

- Don't tell me. You have dibs on both of them.

- Yes! See, this is why you're the smart one,

and I'm just the super pretty one.

- O'Reillys! How's our laundry coming along?

- Fluffed, folded, and put away.

- Nice. - You know, you guys are a lot more intimidating now.

- Really? Thanks, man! I feel more intimidating.

- Yeah, me, too! Like, I could totally go for a scary campfire story.

- Cool! I can read you one! - (O'Reillys): No, no, no!

- Hey! What are you doing?

What was that about? - Just throwing out a book of scary stories before we read

another zombie into existence. - And Lauren gets another mustache.

- So, what it was? It was the book then?

Everything in here, when we read it, it comes true?

- I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

books are bad. And TV is good, guys.

(laughing and cheering) - You know, I think Crawl

did mention something about some weird stuff

that happened at this camp a long time ago.

I wonder if the book was just a part of it.

Good thing we never read all the stories out loud.

- (Dane): You'd have to be pretty dumb to do that.

- Now, hot about we read another story?

You liked the one about the sharks.

- OK, so what do we do?

- Well, I vote we have an awesome summer

because the zombies are gone? Anyone up for that?

- Me! - I agree with Dane.

- What? - You just had a good idea.

- Yeah. - And I voted for it.

That scares me.

- ¶¶ Let's stay up all night ¶ (cheering)

¶ Do this right 'cause we got up now ¶

¶ And no one shuts down We're gonna do this right ¶

¶ Let's stay up all night ¶

¶ And everything's right ¶

¶ I never wanna go home ¶¶

(dramatic music)

- ¶¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶

¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶

¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶

¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶

¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh ¶

¶ And if the stars fell down you wouldn't miss 'em ¶

¶ I can move 'em, paint a picture like I'm Vincent ¶

¶ If the ground caved in there's no denying ¶

¶ We'll be flying 'round the world tonight

¶ If you can call me over right now ¶

¶ Let's see, we'll turn the moment to eternity ¶

¶ Oh, if the Mayans are right ¶

¶ At least we'll have one last night, one last night ¶

¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶

¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶

¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶

¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶

¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶¶

Closed Captioning by SETTE inc.